Have you ever felt like the very job that's supposed to empower you is the one chipping away at your soul?
Psychologist Dr. Kimani Norrington-Sands joins The Besties to shed light on the harsh realities Black women often encounter in toxic work environments. Her journey from a stifling workplace to a thriving private practice is a testament to the resilience and fortitude it takes to reclaim one's professional life. In this week’s episode they delve into the tools and strategies she's developed to guide women towards careers that celebrate respect and personal fulfillment.
Dr Kimani’s Job Liberation Virtual Summit May 18-19 and Black Women Healing from Toxic Jobs Coaching Program are beacons of hope, providing a roadmap for those ready to pivot away from negativity and towards a future work environment they deserve.
In the usual Besties fashion, the conversation with Dr. Kimani goes beyond the surface, unraveling the psychological toll and the importance of recognizing the signs of an oppressive job. She shares actionable advice on crafting an exit strategy that doesn't just focus on leaving, but on landing safely—mentally and financially. It's a reminder that self-respect is non-negotiable and that empowerment begins the moment you start putting yourself first.
This episode and all previous episodes are available on YouTube. Please join our Besties Quad Squad as a Patreon subscriber at the $5 or $10 monthly level. You'll receive exclusive behind-the-scenes content.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Have you ever felt like the very job that's supposed to empower you is the one chipping away at your soul?
Psychologist Dr. Kimani Norrington-Sands joins The Besties to shed light on the harsh realities Black women often encounter in toxic work environments. Her journey from a stifling workplace to a thriving private practice is a testament to the resilience and fortitude it takes to reclaim one's professional life. In this week’s episode they delve into the tools and strategies she's developed to guide women towards careers that celebrate respect and personal fulfillment.
Dr Kimani’s Job Liberation Virtual Summit May 18-19 and Black Women Healing from Toxic Jobs Coaching Program are beacons of hope, providing a roadmap for those ready to pivot away from negativity and towards a future work environment they deserve.
In the usual Besties fashion, the conversation with Dr. Kimani goes beyond the surface, unraveling the psychological toll and the importance of recognizing the signs of an oppressive job. She shares actionable advice on crafting an exit strategy that doesn't just focus on leaving, but on landing safely—mentally and financially. It's a reminder that self-respect is non-negotiable and that empowerment begins the moment you start putting yourself first.
This episode and all previous episodes are available on YouTube. Please join our Besties Quad Squad as a Patreon subscriber at the $5 or $10 monthly level. You'll receive exclusive behind-the-scenes content.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ange, hey Liz, how are you Doing well?
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, you look good. Why, thank you? I dressed up. I put on color today because I usually wear like solids, right, but I said we have a guest, we have somebody special. This lady is so dynamic. I want to be bright and ready for her, so I'm getting ready. So welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
Speaker 1:Brooklyn. We are Leslie and Angela. We have been best friends for 47 years that's 1977, folks, just so you don't have to do the math and we are here to share the perspectives of two free-thinking Black boomers. We welcome you and we are going to be welcoming our guest today.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to read her bio and it's so impressive and I'm just so grateful that she's here and going to talk to you about some amazing things and gonna get you to think about some things as well. Dr Kimani Norrington-Sands, also known as Dr Kimani, is a licensed clinical psychologist in California. As a Spelman College alumna, dr Kimani focuses on supporting individual and collective healing so that clients can live a fulfilled life. Dr Kimani draws upon her own healing journey, as well as professional work, to provide a range of services and products, including the Job Liberation Virtual Summit for Black Women and the Black Women Healing from Toxic Jobs Coaching Program for Black women who are interested in developing an exit plan to leave toxic jobs and pivot to more respectful, financially rewarding professional opportunities. I bring to you this lovely lady here, dr kimani, norrington sands welcome.
Speaker 3:Thank you that was glowing.
Speaker 2:I loved how you like talked about.
Speaker 3:You put the color on for today and that. I love that. That was beautiful. She ready, she ready. I love that Wow.
Speaker 2:Dr, Kimani, I'll give you the floor and I want you to tell us all about you and where you're from and all the good things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Okay, so funny. I was in New York not that long ago and I went to Brooklyn because I never I've always wanted to go to Brooklyn and I was like I've been in New York, how many times I'm going to get?
Speaker 1:to Brooklyn, so it's so funny talking with you all.
Speaker 3:So I'm originally from Chicago and I have been living in California for a number of years as a licensed clinical psychologist. I used to work for the second largest school district in the nation, so right behind New York, and worked there for a number of years. I had a very toxic work experience. At the beginning it wasn't bad, but it started getting really, really bad, very toxic to the point it was harming me physically and psychologically, took a leave of absence and at that point I really reevaluated what I wanted to do and I decided that I needed to leave that toxic job to save myself. And then I transitioned to private practice seeing therapy clients. But now it's evolved because, as I was healing and I was on a leave of absence, I took Stephanie Perry's YouTube challenge and when I was taking her YouTube challenge class she asked all of us well, what do you want to focus on your YouTube channel?
Speaker 1:And I said I think I want to talk about.
Speaker 3:Black Women in a Toxic Job.
Speaker 1:She said girl, do that today, Right Do that immediately.
Speaker 2:That sounds like you're stepping in the middle.
Speaker 3:Yes, so I started talking on YouTube and initially it was more so just to get it out of my system Right, because when you go through a trauma like that, you need to get out your system because it's harmful. So I was getting it out of my system, talking about my perspective, because I also know their job was trying to silence me and humiliate me.
Speaker 3:So another layer was oh well, you're not going to silence or humiliate me, I'm going to be louder and I'm going to talk on YouTube and then black women from around the world, cross-age groups across professions around the world, have reached out to me, said oh my god, are you in my head?
Speaker 3:you're speaking my language experience right and I haven't had just one toxic job, I've had multiple. So then it became like downloaded to me that this is something you need to be talking about on a larger scale. So then I started talking about it more and then that's how the Job Liberation Virtual Summit came to be, with my co-host, marissa Price, because we realized how many Black women are stuck in toxic jobs and stay there because of the fears of leaving, the fears about finances, all these other things. So we said how do we help support Black women leaving? By providing Black women speakers who've gone through the experience, who are doing well. How can they teach us? How can they teach us, how can they teach other black women the tools of how to get out, not just go? No, how to get out and how to do well by replacing your income. So I'm excited about the jala version virtual summit, which is may 18th and 19th wow.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. How about that? We're just going to start with that, thank you, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it is, um, it's bold work because, especially because you've been through it right, and even if you've gone through a healing process, it still brings you back into that place. So it takes a lot of chutzpah, as we say in New York. You know we have Yiddish is also a part of our it's also a part of.
Speaker 1:New York language. You have a lot of chutzpah to be able to put this into something where your pain and suffering can be healing for someone else, and that's really. It's really beautiful.
Speaker 2:And I can only imagine that listening to some of your clients and the people you interact with can be triggering for you again. You know it's almost like you're you're familiar with PTSD when you have to return to some of the same memories from other people even can go back to you and say wait a minute, am I really healed from this?
Speaker 3:And yeah, I'm glad you said that, because I'm still healing. So I resigned about two years ago. I'm still healing. I'm still going to be in the healing journey for quite a long time. So, yes, when I hear people's stories, when I see things that might remind me or if I have a memory, so what I do, my form of healing, is to talk on YouTube. So I continue to talk on YouTube. So my YouTube channel is lifting as we climb, consulting wellness services, and every Sunday I have a different black woman guest and we talk about her healing journey from a toxic job, because I want other Black women to see it's not just me that you can leave a toxic job and do well and it's a healing journey. And, as I've been working on this Job Liberation Virtual Summit, a lot of memories about the job are coming up. A lot of memories are like filed away. So what I do is I just get on YouTube and start talking.
Speaker 3:it's like I'm talking therapy to myself, but I know I'm helping other black women in the process yeah, and how is the sting then?
Speaker 2:do you find that it's a little bit lesser and lesser the more that you've been talking about it?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, because part of the sting that I experienced was the humiliation. Right. So the humiliation is no longer there, because I'm openly sharing with you what happened and I'm releasing the shame because I didn't do anything wrong. So it removes that part and I'm telling people. And as I'm telling people about what happened, they're responding to me like oh, that's crazy. So they're reality testing for me, like that was crazy.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, we're so right, that's your validation, it's not just you.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly. So. It's a way of me sharing and being very transparent, which is a lot for me because I'm a very private person, right? So the fact that I'm on YouTube sharing my story very openly is because I know that I need to heal from this and the healing is just to be open and I want other Black women to see not only are you alone, you need to be able to talk about this stuff, because if you don't talk about it, then you'll stay in the fear and the shame and you'll just stay and continue to be harmed at a toxic job, because I want you to know too, black women, that we have options.
Speaker 1:We have options.
Speaker 3:Right, so many of us feel like we've got to stay at that job.
Speaker 2:We have no options. We're stuck.
Speaker 3:Oh right, black women. We're the most educated in the nation. We have options. If you were able to get that job, what makes you think you can't get another job If that's what you want to do a career in business? But we have options and I want black women to know that and to know that sometimes people around us may project their fears onto us and say, no, you can't leave that good job. That's a good job. What are you doing? What are you doing? Right?
Speaker 1:All those that those good benefits.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got a quote, Stephanie Perry, right. So she said a job is not a good job that's killing you Number one, number two if you're accessing your health care benefits. But that good job, but it's making you sick?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's not a good job. How good is it? How good is it? It's making you sick? Yeah, that's not a good job. How good is it? Yes, how good is it? It's not good, it's killing you.
Speaker 2:Wow. And then, because you're a trained psychologist, you know what some of the pathological, you know isms are. You know the projection and the humiliation.
Speaker 3:But when you're in it, you get caught up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you start to believe the things that are said about you. Yes, you know what I mean. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's wicked, it's wicked.
Speaker 3:It's a, it's a mind f.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna say the full thing, it's a mind I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna say yeah, but they get in your head they get, they play those mind games with you and then somehow you start believing it.
Speaker 3:Now, on one hand, they were trying to make me feel like I was less than I knew that that wasn't true, right, I knew what I was bringing to the table. I knew that, right, and I think a lot of that's just my upbringing and also being a Spelman alum I knew. I was like what are you doing, right? Yeah?
Speaker 2:I've seen this movie before.
Speaker 3:Right, I've heard about this, I've seen it the whole thing, but they also did other things that it triggers something in me and I think a lot of Black women do this right, that because of our social programming, that we're strong Black women and people don't run us out of situations and we're not weak and we're not a punk and we're not right. So then I embraced that and I was like, oh yeah, you know I'm gonna fight these people.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna do this yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm, you know, I'm fighting for Black kids and I'm gonna just stay here, whatever. That was a lie. That was a lie to myself was that I could fight them and win. No, I couldn't win because the whole system was toxic and they were attacking me and conspiring against me. So when do we recognize, as black women, the system is toxic. You're not going to win. You staying there is not going to make them respect you, right.
Speaker 2:Have enough. Yes, sticking it it out. We all say we're gonna stick it out you know. And then we come home and kick the dog and don't speak to our kids and our husband.
Speaker 3:You know and and our brother said the devil I know than a devil I don't know. No, that's not a way to live, you're crazy.
Speaker 1:No, that's true, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:We say that it's um it as though you got to live with a devil.
Speaker 3:You know Right, okay, no, none.
Speaker 1:And it's so funny. But as soon as you can pick yourself out of that situation, you realize that the fight wasn't even worth it. The fight wasn't even worth it. It wasn't even. It wasn't even worth all of that angst and all of that, all of those gear you had to put on every day to to, to be at war in the workplace.
Speaker 3:Ridiculous. Yes, the psychological armoring Right. So like kind of prepare yourself to even get out the car right? So when I'm talking black woman, I said it's not just the masking all day at work, yeah it is the alarm going off?
Speaker 3:and you dread getting out of bed, right, oh, you're trying to pep yourself up to get. So the cost. So this is like the job is taking up a lot of your time and then, well, I didn't experience this, but some Black women will cry on their way to work, cry in the parking lot, cry leaving work, and then just think about it.
Speaker 3:Now you're taking the work home with you because now you're talking about the job, after you get in the car, when you get home, you're telling your family, your friends what happened to you, what they said to you? They know all the people.
Speaker 2:It's no longer a 40 hour week week job it's now a 50.
Speaker 3:And 60 hour week job and then your family's being harmed too because they're not getting the best of you, they're getting a shell of you, because you are physically and emotionally drained from the, the masking and that psychological armoring. You are drained, so when you get back home you're not fully present to your loved ones and they can see, they're bearing witness to the harm that you're experiencing, and so then that can make them feel helpless and hopeless because they can't help you. And I always say this too for us as mothers. I'm a mother. Think about what are you modeling for your children? So your children are seeing you day in day out going to situations where you're disrespected.
Speaker 3:right, are we trying to teach them? You stay in situations where you're disrespected, or are we teaching them? No, if they don't respect and value you, you need to get an exit plan and get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
Speaker 1:It's just like any other form of abuse. It's like do you? Want to stay in it or are you going to find your way out of it? I want to like if, if you could come on and talk about some practical ways, because you know that then then there's health insurance, then there's the mortgage, and then what are some of the ways that you help people to kind of plot out an exit strategy?
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, the first thing I say is that you have to be well first.
Speaker 3:So the first thing is if you're able to take a leave of absence, please do that. That's. I did that Right Because I was able to take a leave of absence. Please do that. That's. I did that right because I was able to get some clarity. I was able to start exit planning as part of your exit plan.
Speaker 3:You need to look at your numbers. You need to look at what how much money do I need? How much is going in, how much is coming out right, because then that will inform your financial plan. How much leeway do you have? And then you need to start thinking about how am I going to replace my income? Is this going to be another job? Is it going to be a side hustle? Is it going to be me creating my own business? What is that? And you need to start moving towards that right. So the Job Liberation Virtual Summit has Black women teaching you right actually how to get remote work, how to get contract work, how to get freelance work, how to get another job and another job, how to create your own business, how to create a financial exit plan. So giving black women the practical skills, the resources of what you need to do to get out and do well, and do well financially.
Speaker 2:And do well financially and modeling those things for you, because when it's all in your head and it's just an idea, it's hard to really see yourself in it. When you can see that other people have done it I mean I myself as a physician it was much easier for me to realize that this is something I can do, because I had other physicians around me. I saw that other people have done it. If they can do it, I think I can do, because I had other physicians around me. I saw that other people have done it. Yeah, they could do it. I think I can do it too, exactly, really. Just a dream and it's nebulous and whatever. So that summit is, is must be everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2:In front of you. That can.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Who can?
Speaker 3:understand there, who can understand and who are helping to support you in the process. So you're not alone, because I think a lot of us who've been in toxic jobs we feel alone, we feel ashamed, we feel like we don't know who to go to. This is gonna be an embedded community. This is a community to support you, to help liberate you, that you're not stuck. So sometimes you need a little nudge, we need support, and if there's people around you who are telling you to stay in abusive, toxic situation, sometimes we have to limit what information we share with them, right? So boundaries. So Glamazini, I quote her, and her quote was check the tree before you pick the fruit. So if the people you're talking to I got to write that down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, If the people you're talking to are miserable in their lives they've never had a healthy work environment, but they're telling you to stay in a toxic job where you're being harmed. No, check the tree before you pick the fruit. So we have to keep that in mind is sometimes we have to build our own communities. So the Job Liberation Virtual Summit is that community.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, I really, because sometimes you know you, the desire is there to want better for yourself, but you can't see the practicalities of it. You know what I mean. And so it becomes just this noise. It just becomes something else that is burdensome, because it's like I know I should leave, but I don't know how, and you keep telling me to leave, but I don't know. Do you know what I mean? And so what it sounds like the summit is going to be is just this almost immersive space where you can get all of your needs met, and what I love about the types of summit like what you described is that you find your people, is that you find your people, you find your. You know there's going to be somebody that you connect with, or some three or five people that you connect with, and after the summit is over, those networks remain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. You know what I saw. I saw that Were you at ROI? Yes, so was I. Yes, so was I. So you see, this is what happens. You go into spaces where like-minded people exist, people who desire the same things that you want for your life, and those people who are already there, yeah, and you create these networks that you never can imagine how powerful they become. Exactly, yeah, a bond and a sisterhood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also like that you mentioned that check the tree before you pick the fruit. I put her all the time. You recognize that there are people in your lives and if you look around and they're not wanting the best for you or they're telling you that, oh, it can't be that bad, hang in there a little longer. You know, when you're in spaces that are sucking your spirit and your soul and they're telling you it can't be that bad and they're telling you it can't be that bad, you know the relationship is not that bad.
Speaker 2:You know, hang in there.
Speaker 3:And then, yeah, I did a video recently where I think you're crazy, right, because, first of all, this is only your life. You're living your life, right, nobody else, and I did a video about why is it? Because I saw a post on LinkedIn. Why is it courageous to leave an abusive relationship, but it's not courageous to leave an abusive job? Because there's so many parallels between an abusive job and abusive relationship. So why is it OK to stay at a job that's sucking the soul out of you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, because you may get money from that job, but there are benefits that you probably get from an abusive relationship too. Whatever, that may be, but it's not enough for you to sacrifice. No, your, your, your, your whole um your sanity, your sanity your health? Yeah, yeah, so. Okay. So I was watching, um, you were a guest and I think the podcast is um Black Utopia, or Black Utopia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this couple, and what's her name? Helene Halisi Halisi. Yes, she mentioned when the toxicity comes from people who look like you.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah toxicity comes from people who look like you.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, and I wanted to bring that up because you know we talk about safe, safe places, like having safe places and safe haven with people. And when you can't find that with your own group of people, with Black people, when Black people can't find that with your own group of people with Black people, when Black people can't find that, how have you heard any of those things come up as you've spoken to people and how they?
Speaker 3:all the time, all the time. I have a whole playlist on my YouTube channel about all skinfolk and kinfolk. So it comes up so often, so often because it's so painful when the other person causing you harm in the workplace is another Black person, particularly another Black woman, right? And so I talk about it so often because I want Black women to know. Even though these may have been your experiences, please don't generalize to all black women, right?
Speaker 3:all black women are not like that you may have run into some people who are not well or they're insecure or whatever. But you have to find your community. You have to find other black people, other black women who are there to support you, because we're out here but sometimes when we're hurt, we say I don't. I say I can't mess with other, I can't do that, and that's not helpful for us either.
Speaker 2:Not at all. And I find that we need to follow our instincts also when things don't feel right or when you start thinking, oh, she's really my frenemy Not really, it's like that's, that's a middle school. Uh, yes, yes, you don't need to be around somebody that's sometimes a friend, sometimes an enemy. You're not that sure because you know what? We don't have a whole lot of time in our lives to evaluate these things. True, you know. True, it doesn't feel right.
Speaker 3:We can't be down enough. As Black women, we don't need people in our personal lives who are beating us down too with a smile.
Speaker 1:We don't need that. Yes, yes, I just just the idea of it, and I thank God that where I am now in my life there's no toxicity. I am so grateful for that, and I also recognize that this wasn't always the case. This wasn't always the case. We're all on a journey, people.
Speaker 3:We're all on a journey.
Speaker 1:Wherever you are now, it doesn't mean that you stay there, and one of the reasons why Leslie and I started this podcast is to be able to expose people to options, expose people to different ways of broadening perspectives on what's possible for you, for yourself and that's what I'm hearing Dr Kamani talk about is there is help, there is community, there are specific resources. There's no need for you to feel stuck. Just take one action, get to the summit. Just take that one action.
Speaker 1:We're going to have a link. We're going to have links all over on the podcast thing on YouTube. We're going to have links. But it's really that that is your next step, that is your next step to add more to that, right.
Speaker 3:So, in terms of thinking about how we are working collectively to liberate not only ourselves but other Black women, there's also an option to sponsor a Black woman to come to the summit. So you know you can put my I'll. You know you can put my email. Yeah, you can put my email information in the description section and people can email me if they want to sponsor a black woman to come and wanted to let everyone know that, because it's black women, we need to walk in silence sometimes because people are not wishing the best for us. That all the participants will will not have their names listed, Right. They will not be seen on camera, only the summit speakers, because some people are concerned that people might try to find out that they're trying to leave a job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then?
Speaker 3:they want to come Right.
Speaker 2:So we are very mindful of that. That's a safe space for people in this arena.
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And if they have questions or comments, they can change their name in a platform. Right, well, I mean, that's what happens when your experience turns into this. A vehicle for healing is, you know? Oh, this may be of concern, so let's just kind of set that up right up front, cause sometimes people don't express what their needs are. Yes, you know they won't ask because, oh, this is, it's not done like that. Who does that? Everybody has their their name, everyone wants their camera on so that kind of um, pre pre-planning.
Speaker 1:We know that this is a concern for you and you know I keep going back to kind of the, the whole abuse thing. It's like, yeah, you need, you need a safe, yeah, a safe place where, where people you know are not out to get you or you don't have, you don't have the perception to get you.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, it's required, it's a necessity.
Speaker 1:I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it.
Speaker 2:What this brings up for me. I like the idea and Ange and I have been talking about this a while of seeing a different way to the future. That books of tradition I mean, because if you think about traditional work has been it's work. You're not supposed to love your work, you're supposed to just endure your work and then you retire and that's when you hit nirvana and things are supposed to be good. You're supposed to trudge through, you know. And now we think about wait a minute, we don't have to be demoralized and come home and become ill and emotionally ill from our work, where we spend so much of our lives. Yeah, our lives can really be fulfilling. Yeah, you can, uh, nurture and empower us rather than suck us dry like that. Yeah, I gotta say that I found that kind of work when I left a career in teaching and went into medicine and that's when I started knowing like, yeah, this is what I'm here for. I found my space and you know that's not unusual. You can find your space in your employment.
Speaker 3:But you're courageous enough to pivot right.
Speaker 1:Some people feel like once they get that job they need to just stay there.
Speaker 3:But what you're saying is that wasn't working for me.
Speaker 2:So I knew I needed to pivot and I wasn't serving the students. Yeah, students need teachers who are all in. I wasn't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but also letting Black women know that you have options, you can pivot. And what Stephanie Perry says all the time also letting black women know that you have options, you can pivot. And what stephanie perry says all the time we've been fed the lie that we have to work, work, work, work, work and hopefully, you know, once we get a retirement we can live our life. But what if?
Speaker 2:you don't make it to retirement. You don't make it. What if? What? If you're living into retirement, you know, right, the quality of your life, right, and I think that we have seen so many wake up calls with black women dying prematurely.
Speaker 3:We've seen black women you know, dr Antoinette Bonnie Candia Bailey dying in relation to workplace bullying. But we've seen these things happen Right, and I think a lot of us are like wait a minute. This is not the life that I want for myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that could be me. The time is now.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm 62 years old now.
Speaker 2:I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I need to start, you know.
Speaker 1:yeah, the time is now. The time is now and something that just it popped in my head about 10 minutes ago, but it popped out, so now it just came back the the fact that the skills and experience that you're using at the job, they're they're you when you walk away, they're, they're, they go with you, exactly they go with you. Exactly, they go with you. You can take it elsewhere, it's not.
Speaker 2:You got a pocket full of skills.
Speaker 3:You got a pocket full of skills.
Speaker 1:You have a pocket full of skills. So this idea that you can only shine, or you can only they're not even shining, is that this is kind of a survival thing, like you're just scrounging. You have this beautiful set of skills. Look at what you did with your experience. You're now creating this new thing Like we can. That's another thing that Black women know how to do.
Speaker 3:We are resourceful, aren't we Amen to that. We are resourceful, aren't we?
Speaker 2:Yeah, amen to that, we are resourceful.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, Look how many more people you are reaching. Dr Kimani. It's like you're at the pentacles now. It's like Exactly.
Speaker 3:But you know it's kind of like. When I was in this situation, you know, the lie that I was telling myself was I have to stay here for the black students, right. I had a black woman therapist still do and I was telling her about what's happening and she was reality testing with me and she told me flat out you have to leave. This job is going to kill you. And I was like but I got to stay. I got to stay and she said you don't see it now, but I see you on a much higher platform, helping people. You don't have to stay, god is elevating you. She said this is a rescue mission from God to get you out of this Rescue mission.
Speaker 3:A rescue mission from God Right and through my own experiences and going through what I've gone through, I've been able to give a name to the experiences that I'm having and to tell Black women about it. Like Pets a Threat, you know I've been telling Black women about Pets a Threat. So Pets a Threat. Three Black women researchers and I got to say their names because people steal their work. So Dr Juanita Johnson Bailey, dr Keisha Thomas, dr Rosemary Phelps Pets a Th threat.
Speaker 1:This is what I experienced. This is the exact way I experienced the job.
Speaker 3:What is?
Speaker 2:pet to threat. Explain that.
Speaker 3:Yes, so pet to threat deals with when a Black woman comes into the workplace or she's thought out in the workplace because of her outstanding work abilities. She's really good at something, right? Oh, Leslie. Oh, she's so smart. We love her. Oh right, You're the pet, right? Then you start outshining other people within the workplace and there's a shift in terms of how you're seen and treated as a threat, and then they start to push you all those things. That is exactly what happened to me. So being able to talk about it and I have been able to interview two of the researchers for Pets A Threat on my channel.
Speaker 3:So being able to connect to Black women who are doing the work. Have them on my channel, give a word to it, because so many Black women are like oh my God, that's what I've experienced.
Speaker 1:But I didn't know what it was called.
Speaker 3:It is a thing, it is a thing.
Speaker 2:And many of us have experienced that, and it means we're not crazy. You know, you think I must be imagining this.
Speaker 3:It's like it can't be. This can't be what they're thinking. I'm a good employee, I'm attributing all these things. No, because you're dealing with very insecure people. So when you deal with insecure people, they don't care about what you bring to the table, because they are triggered by that, because it makes them feel more insecure. So then they start trying to project their own incompetence, their own insecurities on you.
Speaker 2:And they try to take you down at all costs In order for them to be elevated.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly, wow, wow, this is deep this Wow, wow, mm-mm-mm.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:This is deep. This is wonderful. How long did it take you to pull the summit together? This is a lot of heavy lifting.
Speaker 3:It is. So my co-host and I have been working on this. I don't even think it's been six months. I don't think it's been six months. It was just downloaded and we were on fire because she's also a toxic job survivor and a social worker black woman. And so we just put our minds together and we said what are the issues impacting black women the most? So that's what we did we start reaching out to black women. Every black woman we reached out to said yes.
Speaker 3:So we're kicking it off with Stephanie Perry talking about job detox, right so, getting our minds together and all the black women right, all the black women are like yes, we want to be here to support you and was so powerful because we're going to end the second day with a financial psychologist a black woman and she was who I work with to get my money together so that I could resign so she's going to end it off with getting your financial exit plan right.
Speaker 3:So there's different tiers that people can buy tickets, so everybody has access to that right. But if you really want to get your financial plan together, the highest tier is to have that additional hour the next day to really get your financial plan together with the financial psychologist, is to have that additional hour the next day to really get your financial plan together with the financial psychologist. So it's been very intentional about who we're having.
Speaker 1:So, if I can, if I could just run down, I'm so excited about it Please, please please, okay.
Speaker 3:So we're starting with Stephanie. So again, job detox. So we think about being in a toxic job. The biggest thing we got to get through is that mindset right, so the fears of leaving. And then after that I'm going to have Kira talking about burnout. What does that look like? What are the signs of it? Because a lot of times you don't know until you're deep in it. You're like, oh my God, what's happening to me? Then we're going to have Kamisha Jones talking about mental health, the impact that being in a toxic job can impact your mental health. And then we're going to have Dr Robin Scott talking about sleep, how these toxic jobs can rob our.
Speaker 2:Oh, you know thinking about the job and we know how important sleep is.
Speaker 3:God. And so she's going to talk to us about sleep skills, how to regain our sleep, and then we're going to end off that first day with Alicia Renise talking about how to reclaim our joy, our dreams, all those things from a toxic job. That's day one. Then day two we start off with Emery Archer, the anti-HRHR lady, talking about discrimination, issues of discrimination, severance right, If you want to do that. And then we have Libria Jones talking about how to find remote work, contract work, freelance work.
Speaker 3:Patrice is going to talk about side hustles, creating a side hustle, and then my co-host and I are going to be talking about how to create your own business, and then ending off with Dr Roche Brown, who's the financial psychologist, about getting your financial plan together and what to do about your health insurance, your retirement and your life insurance. So everything is covered all in a package, right? So as you come in, you might feel defeated or confused or not what to do, or stuck. By the time you leave, you will have an exit plan together.
Speaker 2:Wow, and you'll be a part of a sisterhood where you can continue to be in community with people, like-minded people and people who can help you.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, so we're super excited.
Speaker 1:As long as you, when you're in the action of planning an exit, the stress starts to lift. Yeah, Because you're actually taking it's not just when you walk out the door, it's knowing that you have agency. Yeah, and you can take your power and you can plan. Things don't land as you know.
Speaker 2:things don't stick as much as they used to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it's like you can't hurt me anymore I know, just give me a little bit, I'll be you can say whatever you want.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you sit at your desk with this smile on your face looking at your calendar exactly and that's why I want women to know about the summit is that the summit provides an opportunity for you to start planning, right? Not that? Not that we expect you to come in and we're saying you come to the summit, that means you got to go tomorrow. No, it's based on your timeline about when you want to go, but it's better to be prepared so you're not doing something like an haste or not irrational.
Speaker 1:You end up in another toxic job.
Speaker 3:We don't want that for you. So how do you come in and really get that information and then to implement the information? Wow.
Speaker 2:So we're going to leave a link on how to access your materials and more information about the summit. I'm telling the public now you all don't have a lot of time. You have just a couple of days between this airing and the summit when it starts. So you're going to have to act quick. But I know you can do that because I know that we're speaking to some of the people. People know what they need.
Speaker 1:And remember you can sponsor. So if you know someone who needs a kick in the pants, sponsor them and need some help with this. What a beautiful gift that would be.
Speaker 2:What a beautiful gift.
Speaker 1:Really, really All right, les. How are we looking?
Speaker 2:We're looking good and I think we've used our time almost wisely, but I knew that there's so much rich information that people you know. You forgive us.
Speaker 3:Yeah, of course, I love talking about this.
Speaker 1:You see, I light up right, you do, you certainly do.
Speaker 3:It just you know, of course I wish that this never just I light up, right, you do, you certainly do it just I, you know, of course I wish that this never would have happened to me. Right, I'm a very like, structured person. I would have stayed at a job even though I was not challenged. I was, you know, not growing all. I would have stayed right, but it got so intolerable it was no way for me to stay and I almost think it had to get that intolerable for you to see it.
Speaker 2:You know, as a believer, I know the Lord puts challenges and puts us in environments that if you don't hear the whisper, then you hear the shout. Yeah, you don't hear the shout, then you have to get the hit over the head.
Speaker 2:Really, I believe that and I got the hit on the head okay, yeah, and others may hear the whisper, but, uh, some of us need a little bit more. And now, look, yeah, it's like I told you, that's that money. It was a pleasure. I need to do this because this is you know we get the.
Speaker 1:I don't know if we'll get the heart but I thank you.
Speaker 2:I thank you and I'll say this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.