Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
A Journey to Self-Acceptance in the Differently Abled Community
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Adrienne Keane is a colleague turned dear friend to Angella, and a long-time fan of this podcast.
She recently completed her 13th marathon and is a member of the elite World Marathon Majors having completed the six greatest marathons: Boston, NY, Chicago, Berlin, London, and Tokyo.
Her 13th marathon was this past April but it is the first in which she completed as a para athlete.
In this episode, you’ll be enamored and inspired by Adrienne’s journey from losing her arm to cancer at age 8 through her successful career and her long stays in Spain.
This episode and all previous episodes are available on YouTube. Please join our Besties Quad Squad as a Patreon subscriber at the $5 or $10 monthly level. You'll receive exclusive behind-the-scenes content.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ange.
Speaker 2Hey Les, how are you? Thumbs up for real. I'm better.
Speaker 1I'm better. I think you are better this time. Before I forget, welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn, brooklyn from Brooklyn.
Speaker 2Brooklyn. I'm doing a long one today. Look, I'm so giddy and it's just going to come out. It's going to be like a roller coaster for me today. I think it is, I think it is. It really is.
Speaker 1It totally is. I'm rushing into telling you all who we are, because our guest today, in fact our episode today, is going to be way up here. It's going to be like off the chain. I'm going to have to reel these two in. I get to meet someone that I really just thought was a legend. You know, someone that Ange has talked about for years and years. Oh, adrienne and I said this, and listen, adrienne did this and Adrienne told me and she and I worked here and this and I started thinking is she a figment of Ange's imagination or what? She couldn't be all that and a bag of chips and a bag of chips. And then I heard that this Adrienne fairy was listening to our episodes as she ran on marathons and I'm like that's it. She can't be real.
Speaker 2Not during marathons, while she trains, while she trains for marathons. Well, there she goes, okay.
Speaker 1So then I knew Nah, but then I got the meter All right. So I'm going to introduce you to our guest today. I hope I can do it justice. Adrienne Keene has spent her career as an agent for positive change, combining the practices of traditional and agile project management with the science of positive psychology. She has worked with individuals, leaders and teams to define and achieve goals, while maximizing teamwork and creating well-being in the workplace. As a champion for the underdog in the workplace, as a champion for the underdog, she inspires people to uncover their strengths, overcome adversity and become their best.
Speaker 1Adrienne has worked hard to achieve a life well lived. She has taken several mini retirements to explore new places and cultures and spend quality time with family. She's a dedicated runner and marathoner. She recently received her Paralympic classification and won the upper limb impairment division of the Boston Marathon, while raising funds for Boston Children's Hospital. Through purposeful marathoning, she has developed discipline, self-confidence and resilience that positively impacts all aspects of her life. Currently, adrienne splits her time between the United States and Spain, where her daughter and granddaughter live. She has an amazing part-time job that challenges her intellectually while giving her the freedom to travel and spend time with family. And after that, I give to you Adrienne Keene. Hi, hi, thanks, liz.
Speaker 3Adrienne Keene. Hi, hi, thanks, liz, and.
Speaker 2Yeah. So my turn, yeah, my turn. Adrienne is a legend. We worked together at Cisco and do you know what it's like to like be in an organization for several reasons just feeling sometimes like you're a square peg in a round hole or vice versa, but being very clear about who you are and then knowing that someone sees you, someone who you admire, someone who you admire, and you know that they see you like they see you, they seek you out for specific things that you have talents in. They advocate for you, they're your sponsor in rooms that you're not in. They just love you.
Speaker 2And that's what Adrienne has always, always been for me, in the workplace and outside of that, just always been such an amazing friend. She's helped me in my entrepreneurial pursuits. She has just been a beacon of you know, whenever things kind of get particularly hard and you kind of know that you can call someone you guys know Leslie is my bestie. I can always call Leslie, but Leslie doesn't know what happened at Cisco. Leslie doesn't know what Agile is all about. Leslie doesn't know what project management Do you know what I mean? There's certain things that Adrian has brought to my life that are so invaluable and I saw because we're friends on Facebook, of course. By the way, adrian is an OG listener, right, she has been there from the beginning and the first t-shirt that we ever print it's going to Adrian, because our podcast has been her driving her running companion. Yeah, it has.
Speaker 3It's gotten me through many, many running challenges and days. And I also believe, Angela, that I'm wearing maybe your first hat. Oh, is that right?
Speaker 1Wow.
Speaker 3Pretty sure.
Speaker 1So I'll say for me, with love, I'll say for the record, we're printing two T-shirts. Adrian gets one, Alex gets the second one. So we got that for sure, no doubt.
Speaker 2Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so just always been a support. A dear friend and I saw her post. I mean I knew that she was going to run another marathon by the way. Hold up, Let me get it right. Okay, she just finished her 13th marathon. Can you tell us how you got into running?
Speaker 3Sure, and in 2011, I moved from the West Coast to the East Coast, which is where I grew up, and I was looking to establish a new community, and my cousin was part of a running club. Now I'd run a 5K every now and then. I was always athletic in certain ways, but really not a runner. I didn't consider myself a runner and I joined this running club and within nine months, I was running the Boston marathon. I mean, it was kind of insane, but I found yeah it.
Speaker 3Just you know it was serendipitous, the universe. The universe brings us what we're supposed to have when we're supposed to have it.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Miles for Miracles
Speaker 3And, um, what I learned was that I just hadn't run far enough to enjoy it, that I love distance running and 5Ks. I could completely do without that distance. I like to go out on the road and run eight to 10 miles. I mean, that's my relaxation.
Speaker 2And so yeah, that's, I've seen you. I don't know, if that is your choice, whether it starts out balmy and then you get halfway.
Speaker 1And it's like well, I've run in blizzards, I've run in rain, I've run on ice with spikes on my sneakers.
Speaker 3I mean we really do. You know, when we marathon we have a plan and it's really just follow the plan. It's not that hard. Just do what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1It's not that hard. Oh run 10 miles. I have trouble driving 10 miles.
Speaker 3Anyone could do it. So if the plan says do 10 and it's snowing out, you know you do 10, unless it's unsafe, of course. Then you do it the next day, but yeah, wow, my mouth is open do it the next day.
Speaker 1But yeah, wow, my mouth is open. Before I say, let me just say for the record, if you see me ever running, you guys better run too. That's all I'm gonna say that's what I said, running run too never say never, you never know,
Speaker 2never say never, okay, so, um. So, on April 16th is when Adrienne won the para champion of the. She was running for Boston Children's Hospital. We're going to talk a little bit more about your relationship with that hospital. In the upper limb impairment division, adrienne won the women's race in the Boston Marathon what Okay. And she also has it's called a world marathon. Am I saying that?
Speaker 3right World marathon majors.
Speaker 2World marathon majors. Okay, listen to this guys the Boston, chicago, new York City, berlin, london and Tokyo marathons? Over what period of time?
Speaker 3London and Tokyo marathons. Over what period of time? It was over about six or seven years. Because you can't just sign up and go run these races. You either have to go in a lottery, you have to qualify. That's how I got involved with running for charity for Boston Children's Hospital, because that allowed me to run for New York City and London. Because I was having trouble getting into the races, and so I decided to raise money for charity and and be able to enter the races in that way and that started this beautiful relationship with the miles for miracles team, which is yeah, can you tell us about?
Speaker 2Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 3Can you tell us about that? Sure, so Boston children's hospital has a um. They have a program as part of their foundation their trust and foundation to raise funds for the hospital, called Miles for Miracles, and they put together running teams, sometimes quite large. There was 220 people on our team for Boston, sometimes smaller depending on how many bibs they get from the race sponsor for the charity, and so then they provide us a lot of support for training for the race and most people have never run a marathon before they come on the team. And they have five coaches. For the Boston team we had five coaches. They give us training plans, they give us weekly support, they do weekly runs. People put out volunteers, put out water stops. There's a lot of camaraderie and support and we raised between the Boston and London teams that we just had. We raised over $4 million for Boston Children's Hospital.
Speaker 3Oh my gosh Incredible.
Speaker 1Yeah, just incredible, what, oh my gosh, what a blessing $4 million.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's the most ever raised by um, by master miracle team, so really just incredible outpouring of love and support for sure, for sure, um I.
Speaker 2I spoke to adrian before we started recording um to be fully transparent, because one of the things that I wanted to be really, really mindful of is how I spoke about her disability, her impairment. You know what is what is the right language? I know, as a black person, I want people to be thoughtful enough to use the the proper language to talk about me, and so it was really important for me to do that. So I asked her some questions, but I really wanted us to talk about this so that you all could hear and maybe learn from my lack of knowledge and be informed by Adrian around this topic. Some of the language that I saw was, instead of saying, a disabled person, it's a person with a disability, so kind of putting the person before whatever, like focusing, having the focus be on the person and what is your preferred way of speaking about your disability?
Speaker 3Honestly, I really don't think of myself as having a disability, so that term's a little hard for me. However, I do like to think of myself as being differently abled, and I have some superpowers that y'all don't have mold, okay, and I have some superpowers that y'all don't have.
Speaker 2So you better, and I've seen it in action, really. So this is, this is the thing, this is the part, adrienne. So I know what it's like when someone says to me I don't see you as black, I see, I just see you as Angela. I don't like that because I'm a black woman and I, you know. It's like you have to see me this way because you're ignoring my whole experience.
Speaker 1If you don't see, me as a black person.
Speaker 2And so the way that I want to talk about what you just said, you don't see her. I've never seen you that way. I've never seen you as as a disabled person. You just, you just don't live that way.
Speaker 3A person with a disability, Angela.
Speaker 2A person with a disability, a person with a dis. So? But is that would you, by you saying that you don't think of yourself as disabled? Should I feel comfortable to feel that way too, that I don't think of you as disabled?
Speaker 3I mean, I think we all have our perceptions and our comfort levels and, honestly, can I talk a little bit about my story? Yes, please, could this be a time that I could do that, just to kind of share the background for people and what we're all dancing around here.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3So so back in 1967, when I was eight years old you know normal rough and tumble tomboy, run around the neighborhood and climbing trees I developed a pain in my arm which turned into a pain with weakness. And right after my eighth birthday, my parents had me you know me checked out and it turned out that I had a very rare bone cancer and the only way to save my life was to amputate my right arm at the shoulder. And so Boston Children's Hospital this will bring the tie back into Boston Children's.
Speaker 3Hospital really saved my life and did that life performing surgery and took care of me medically. Life and did that life performing surgery and and and took care of me medically. Uh, and then following that, because I assume there was some spread or you know some metastasis, I'm not sure but uh, cause you know, back in those days they, they really didn't tell parents any. I don't think my parents even knew. Nobody ever said cancer ever. I had a tumor. I did not have cancer.
Speaker 1Like you didn't talk about that. You didn't talk about that. Yeah, yeah, common.
Speaker 3Because of that I had to have it was somewhere between one to two years of weekly chemotherapy injections, and as an eight year old as an eight year old, and this happened in the summer so when I went back to school, to third grade, you know, basically I had to learn to do everything again because oh guess what Bonus I was right-handed, so I had to switch from right-handed to left-handed. I still have horrible handwriting, like that's just never improved. But lots of things, physical things were pretty easy Bike riding, you know, things like that. I just did it.
Speaker 3And back in the 60s there was no psychologist, there was no support groups, there was no. You know, let's talk about how you're feeling. There was kind of buck up, figure it out, move forward, and that was kind of how it was. And you know that plays into some of my superpowers, but it also plays into, you know, some challenges later on in life. And so the interesting thing, just to kind of tie it to today Well, first of all, I've never seen limits. I just I just see ways to get around limits, like I don't see limitless. I mean I'll find a way.
Speaker 2You know there's always a way to do it.
Speaker 3So which there is, I can't only think of maybe ballroom dancing and maybe rock climbing, two things I would probably can't really do, but pretty much everything else I might do.
Speaker 2You can live without those two.
Speaker 3I can live without those two, but you know so differently abled. The reason I say that is because I do things in a different way. I just don't do it the way two armed people do it.
Speaker 3I mean that's kind of the difference and I spent, probably you know the first, you know 55 years of this cancer free journey, like fighting to be, to be seen as normal and to be accepted. And, especially quite recently, I've decided that I'm leaning in, I'm leaning into the group, the amazing group of people that I'm a part of and the universe brought me to the para-athletes office.
Speaker 3Last year at the Boston Marathon Expo, I saw the sign. I didn't know what it was. I just went in to ask and they encouraged me to you know, to try to be part of this new para-athletics division.
Speaker 1Wow.
Speaker 3There's seven divisions for various types of disabilities and upper limb impairment is one of them. But it's a competitive division and you actually need to get classified by the International Paralympic Committee. That was kind of a big deal. You have to have a certain qualifying time to be eligible to apply to the race which.
Speaker 3I did so they looked at your times from the other marathon, from Tokyo, okay, from when I ran Tokyo last year and I qualified for the race and I was like I was kind of on the fence because I really thought I was done with marathoning. And then the woman said but did I mention there's prize money.
Speaker 1And I said he said say what?
Speaker 3Anyway, I decided that this was a. This was an opportunity to voluntarily you know, not to get a bib, but to actually just go and raise funds, be on the Boston Children's team and what I'm calling purposefully marathon and raise awareness of not just what differently abled people can do, but also inspire other differently abled people to challenge their limits, or other differently abled people to challenge their limits that you know you can challenge your limits, and the marathon teaches us we can do hard things yeah, absolutely, but, adrienne, what I'm hearing, though, is that you spent your whole life not characterizing yourself as disabled.
Speaker 1No, I didn't like it Right, and I can imagine that because you had so much ability. What I'm wondering, though, is how was your head space when you had to incorporate into a group that was labeled disabled, even though everyone in that group could run a marathon? I cannot, everyone in that group could run a marathon. I cannot. You know what I mean.
Journey of Connection and Collaboration
Speaker 3So you had to go from seeing yourself as one way I think to another way. No, yes, I, I well, I don't. I don't know if I even want to say this on here, but you know what? I'm a fully transparent person and I'm going to say it. I mean, I actually made a comment to my husband, you know, after this was all you know, the few days before that Yep, I get to start with, I get to start in the land of misfit toys and it's just not to take away from anyone else. But I never wanted to start. I just didn't want to be seen as'm embracing that community and the people that I got to meet in that tent on marathon morning, people far more differently abled than I, right that we're taking on this race. Um, we're just. It was really really incredible and emotional.
Speaker 1I tell you, I believe that God brings us and puts us in places when we're supposed to be there.
Speaker 2Yeah, I agree, you were the one that taught me when the I think it was you, Adrian, who first said it to me. When the when the student is ready, the teacher.
Speaker 3Yes. For me right now that's been Angela, I have to say. The last few weeks she she appeared again in my life and taught me some wonderful things about living with joy and just just right on time in this podcast is right on time.
Speaker 1I'm so honored to be a part of this.
Speaker 3I can't even imagine that I'm a part of this.
Speaker 2It's so, it's so, it's so good. This. This was the right time when I saw you with that Laurel Reef Reef on your head. You guys, patreon subscribers will get these pictures. There's a picture, too, of Adrian. I think it was when you're eight, maybe seven or eight.
Speaker 3Oh, in my birthday party Long hair. Yeah, my birthday party.
Speaker 2Yeah, you're gonna. We're gonna put that in in patreon as well. That's good. I you know, I never knew why I looked.
Speaker 3Well, when you, when you all see the picture, you'll understand. Um, I never knew why I looked so unhappy in that picture and I did not realize it until I scanned it in to the computer because I did a. I did a presentation last summer for diversity inclusion at my current company. I scanned that picture and I blew it up and I looked at my face and I thought, holy crap, that's a kid with cancer. I mean really, I started bawling. I just could see the pain in my face.
Speaker 2And that was on your birthday. It was my birthday party.
Speaker 3Oh my gosh Crazy Wow that's deep.
Speaker 2It was my birthday party. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1Crazy. Wow, that's deep Ange, do you want to talk a little bit about your actual relationship with Adrienne when you were there? Because, Adrienne, you just mentioned your role in diversity. Angie has so much experience and she really turned Cisco around in terms of diversity, so what was your?
Speaker 2collaboration like.
Speaker 1Well, we worked together in that space.
Speaker 2No, we didn't she's. She's doing that in her current Right.
Speaker 1But I'm just saying that you did have a connection there with her.
Speaker 2Well, go ahead so not not around any particular um diversity and inclusion initiative at all. We didn't. I think that Adrian and I, um, there were some projects that we worked on that we were just always together. We were just always because we were hustlers. We were like you know, she was always on the business side and I was on the tech side, and oftentimes there's a chasm between those two groups, because the tech people wanna just fluff things up, not only how much money it's gonna cost, but how much time it's gonna take, and the business wants to get what they need, they want it at the lowest cost, and so there is kind of just by nature, the nature of the beast, there's tension between those two groups, and Adrian and I were like this is ridiculous, so we would sometimes have like secret, uh meetings like we were sharing information, like behind closed doors, that neither of us was supposed to know but so when you?
Speaker 2were on opposite sides, so yeah sometimes sometimes in public. They didn't know that there was a mole right, she had to feign anger and you know like oh, what is this ridiculous?
Speaker 3ridiculous, angela.
Speaker 2What but we, but we, we, we got it done, we, we, we got it done and wait. There's another story which I'm gonna forget if I don't say it right now.
Speaker 3And I saw it when I was looking up something.
Speaker 2I bet you it is because we're so connected. So when Adrienne decided to go to graduate school, is that the one?
Speaker 1No, so there's more I'm leaning in.
Speaker 2So she decided to go to graduate school and she asked if I could write a recommendation. Of course I said absolutely so. I see that she's going to my alma mater, my undergrad. She was applying to Penn. She had no idea that that's where I went to school. No idea. No, she had no idea.
Speaker 3I think I got in because of you.
Speaker 2And when I told her she was like, oh my God, no way. Yes, so she got it. It's a master's. I don't know if it has anything after that, but it was in positive psychology, yeah.
Speaker 3You applied positive psychology.
Speaker 2Applied positive psychology. Could you just, in a nutshell, could you tell people what that is, cause I think it's a brilliant, just a flip of what psychology had been before, is it?
Speaker 3who was it? Seligman? Yeah, it's, it's really. It's. It's studying what takes us, if you think about ground zero, and traditional psychology tries to get us from minus 10 to zero. Right, so we're, you know, depression and mental illness, and so taking us up to a steady state of zero. Positive psychology is the science of happiness and strengths, which our goal is to take people from zero to 10. And they coexist together. These things can coexist together. My particular concentration was on strengths-based leadership in organizations and what I would call positive project teams. So how do we make working on a project team be a positive and successful experience for people?
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, and I remember at one point I brought you in. I think at that point maybe you were consulting.
Speaker 3No, I was on one of my mini retirements. Yes, I had made a plan when I was 40 that at 50, I was going to retire and just work part time, and then at 60, I was just going to stop working and do fun things. And so, at 50, I dutifully retired from Cisco.
Speaker 3I just left of my own accord, and it was about a year, year and a half later, I was getting bored, thinking about going back to work and there's Angela, right on time, called me and said would you, you know, would you be interested in coming and doing some consulting on employee?
Speaker 2engagement and I was like hell, yes, yeah, it was so, it was so we got to work together in our sweet spot for 17 months.
Speaker 3It was like incredible it was the most beautiful thing.
Speaker 2It was the most beautiful thing it was the most beautiful thing.
Divine Intervention and Business Ideation
Speaker 3And I'll tell you one other quick connection story. Uh, one time uh before this happened I was flying up to san jose. I lived in orange county, california at the time and I was. I was taking a plane to fly up to san jose and I get on the plane and who's sitting in my room? Angela, angela, we got, do you remember? We got a notebook.
Speaker 1I was trying to find it in my row.
Speaker 3I know you were like and I, we got a notebook out like cause, we're ideators, right we're big ideators and we started like planning this business.
Speaker 2We started planning a business Like I'm going to find that thing.
Speaker 3I couldn't find it today. I looked for it. I did Because we always said.
Speaker 2We always said, when we left Cisco, we, we were, there was, we were. We were never going to be able to work at another place, because it really is a place that, um, under the right circumstances, they really encourage you to come up with your ideas, pitch your idea, you know, get the funding and do the thing. And so it's like it would be so hard to go to another organization that is highly structured and you know you got to kind of follow all the rules and so on.
Speaker 2So we always said, man, when we leave, here we're going to we're going to so in your spare time on on a plane ride.
Speaker 1That's what two ideators get together. What do they do in their spare time? They get a notebook out and start a business.
Speaker 3Me, I would be snoozing asking for the second cocktail yeah, but I'll tell you what leslie, angela and I could could never be business partners because we would nothing would ever get delivered, that's where you come in, that's where you come in.
Speaker 2That's why I keep you around, les. That's why I keep you around you, you, you balance me out, you balance me out. Yeah, and I wasn't even supposed to cause I never cause. It stopped in like orange County and that isn't that where I got on the flight, or you know?
Speaker 3you came from NC to North Carolina and had to change planes and then go from I mean I'm sorry, you came from NC to Orange County and then you had to change planes there and get on the plane up to John. Wayne, and it was just weird because I always flew in the morning, but that day I took like a two in the afternoon flight.
Speaker 2That was never a route. That was never a route that I would take. Yeah, I would either go to sfo or I would not, so yeah, so anyway, okay, divine intervention, that's how divine intervention.
Speaker 1One more time.
Speaker 3One more time, something yeah, we always show up for each other, right when it's most important for sure, for sure.
Speaker 1You had a question last no, I'm just taking up the plane ride I was, I think I would get up and move away. When I saw the notebooks come out, I'm like what are we doing?
Speaker 2we're not working I know that we have a picture because I remember I was cheesing I'm gonna find that and send it to you.
Speaker 3It's a picture. It must be in my computer in my old file, somewhere Right right, right, right Not on my phone, not on my phone, okay.
Speaker 2So, adrienne, I want you to talk about what's happening in Spain. Why?
Speaker 1Spain.
Speaker 2I was just going to ask that, yeah, what's going on there, what's going on in Spain? And are you going to like move there full time, you think? And are you going to like move there full time, you think?
Speaker 3I'm not sure I'm going to be open to what the universe brings along those lines. But my daughter I have two daughters and my younger daughter studied abroad her junior year in college and she met Mario and she studied in Barcelona. She met Mario and so Mario, who's now her husband, and they've been married 10 years and they have two beautiful children and um. So around the time I was getting ready to make my second retirement well, maybe my fourth retirement, but retiring from the company I work for, now, um, at 60, because that was my on my plan, my financial plan retired, so I was leaving and moving and I got my husband, I got residency in Spain. We actually went through the hoops and we established residency there so we could go and come as we please, and so the first year we went for an extended time together was in 2020. And we left January 15th with our newly minted visas and residency cards and six weeks later we were locked in our apartment because, guess what?
Speaker 3COVID, pandemic, pandemic and we didn't have grandchildren then, but we had planned yet. But we had planned a lot of travel, a lot of things with our kids. We had all these plans. I was supposed to go to Tokyo to run the Tokyo Marathon with my, with my running bestie. All these plans and next thing, you know, we we are not allowed to leave our apartment for like eight weeks, only could leave the apartment for the groceries, the pharmacy and to take out the trash, like that was it couldn't be outside.
Speaker 1Was it an apartment that you liked?
Speaker 3I mean had, but it was with my husband you know, you leave bob alone right now no thanks, thankfully we it's a three bedroom apartment, so I I created my she shed I would have had to hide all the sharp objects. Yes, and then, uh, you know, I did, I did, luckily we had a big balcony, and I was known to run five miles and figure eights on the balcony. Again, we don't see limits, you know.
Speaker 3We just see opportunities figure out how to get done and and so you know again, divine intervention for getting that residency, because the next year we had our first grand grandchild and we couldn't have. We couldn't have gone to Spain, we couldn't have been there without residency because the countries were not accepting each other for a couple of years.
Speaker 2It felt like a couple of years. I don't know how long it was but we were able to freely go and come.
Speaker 1What part of Spain, and we live near Barcelona, in Barcelona, near.
Speaker 3Barcelona.
Speaker 2Yeah, in a small city outside of Barcelona.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean I really love it there. I feel like I haven't. This was the first year I actually got to have kind of somewhat of a full experience, because even the second year we went we were still not locked into our apartment but we weren't allowed to leave our city for quite a while and then not allowed to leave our what? Pueblo and Bar County. So I mean it was a very different experience. Um, you know, it's a, it's a socialist democracy, I think, and so it's a. It's. It's a very different experience, like we felt safe there we liked it, we felt safe there, we thought the Americans were nuts and we felt, we felt safe.
Speaker 3We felt like the Spanish government was keeping us safe.
Speaker 1I see how was.
Speaker 2COVID out there.
Speaker 3It was bad. Covid was bad there, it was bad and we lived in an apartment where there was a ambulance company kind of across the block and it was constantly ambulances going out. I mean it was. It was a tough time and but there was a couple of things that were really cool. At seven, 30, every well, eight o'clock I think, every night, everybody in the city went out on the balconies and cheered for the healthcare workers.
Speaker 2We did that. Yeah, we did that here. I posted videos of it.
Speaker 3And then there was another couple on the other side of the building that they started a dance party after the cheering and we were you know, out there it's raining man with umbrellas. You know all this stuff. Ymca, you know human spirit.
Speaker 1You know we make it was. We make lemonade out of lemons, you know. I worked straight through the pandemic of lemons. You know, yeah, I worked straight through the pandemic um, we didn't have elective um surgical cases.
Speaker 3So the anesthesiologist we worked in the icu's it wow.
Speaker 1You can only imagine you're still doing your job. That I saw and how I had to come home and kind of just like decompress before I got in the house and at the time Omari was still very and is immune, compromised.
Speaker 1Right, so me being around all of this, these sick people, really sick people, and then going home to him who's on these anti-suppression or anti-rejection medications. It was a really, really tough. Yeah, I think I was there to make make make a difference, but I saw things that I would never want to see again, and that's not something I'd ever want to experience again, you know.
Speaker 3And I hope we never have to experience anything like that again.
Speaker 1I really we don't need to we, we.
Speaker 3I have some socks that say 2020 on one and do not recommend on the other. Yeah, yeah, do not recommend. So yeah it it's. You know it's been so. So I've purposely designed my life in a way that allows me to go back and forth, you know, to spend time with the kids, and then right on time.
Speaker 3Senior VP I'd worked for in Fidelity called me up in a couple of years ago and said hey, are you in the game, you know, do you want to come back and do some contract work? And I was like, oh and, but the people I got to work with were these amazing people that I always wanted to work with. And I said, sure, but my game, my rules.
Speaker 3So I need to get this right and I'm gonna and in part-time I don't want to work full-time, and I have the most wonderful manager probably one of the best leaders I've ever worked for in my life. And she says you work for us when it's convenient for you. Wow, you don't feel bad about taking time off If you're going to go to? I go to Spain for three months in the winter. I'm going to be taking a vacation here in June. I'm going back to Spain in the summer and you know she's been incredible. She's an incredible manager and you know, really I get to help them with things that.
Speaker 1I enjoy.
Speaker 3Yeah. So I mean life well lived, you know. But I've put it out there, you know, and I've been willing, and it's been two years on my six month contract.
Speaker 2So Wow, I guess thinking like you. Yeah they do, I mean I like them. It's mutual. We love each other.
Speaker 3Yeah, but I'm turning 65 next month and I, and I'm kind of embracing, you know, I'm embracing the idea that it's time to make space for what's coming next and I, you know, angela, the joy thing there's been a lot of things that are coming in.
Speaker 1That's our brand, Adrienne. That's our brand.
Speaker 3The things that have been coming in lately are kind of making me a little itchy. To lean in on that, I let my hair go gray and embraced my age and I love it. It's beautiful, it's lovely. Why the hell did I take so long to do that? And just embracing who I am, I feel like I'm really coming into it and uh.
Speaker 2So we'll see. We'll see what the future holds. It's really, really cool. I don't um. You remember Carla Um yeah, I listened.
Speaker 3I listened to Carla this morning.
Speaker 2So yeah, she's um, she's embracing her. Great, I did. I did that a year and a half ago. No, it hasn't been that long. I was just letting my hair grow and just having it gray. So I've had that experience. I don't think I'm ready to go back to that yet. I don't think so. I don't like the way it's coming in. I don't like the way it's coming in. It's just weird. But anyway, I've tried it.
Speaker 3Okay, it's not that you know, angela. Like with everything in life, when we're ready, we're ready that's it. There you go, god gave me eczema on my head from the hair dye, so I I had to I had to pivot. I had to pivot there you go.
Speaker 1You know we're always given what we need. Right, we're giving what we need. Might not be what we want but it's what we need exactly we're coming on the end all right, this is a timekeeper, always a timekeeper. I am wow I finally get to meet Adrian. This is so wonderful On our podcast.
Speaker 2I love it. I can't believe I'm now in rockstar status.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're a bestie and you don't have to be from.
Speaker 3Brooklyn.
Grateful Conversation on Learning and Growth
Speaker 2You don't have to be black. You got the other boxes checked and checked and checked, you know.
Speaker 3Thank you, guys, I'm very grateful, very grateful to be able to have this conversation, because, you know, when we have these conversations, we all grow and learn.
Speaker 2Yeah, by having a conversation, so even hearing yourself, you grow and learn.
Speaker 2So yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you for this gift, thank you for being so willing to be. You know, we always want to inform and sometimes people don't like to admit what they don't know, you know, and they kind of fake it. And we don't, we don't want any fakey stuff and we don't want people to think that that leslie and I are perfect, far from it, far from it, um. And so it was. It was um. I thank you for what I learned today and welcome. Can I share one more?
Speaker 3quick little thing yes absolutely to close on.
Speaker 3Maybe I usually share I forgot to share it earlier when we were speaking but, um, when we were talking about how people with persons with disabilities are differently abled people like to be addressed. There's one thing that makes me nuts and it's when people say do you need help? Do you need help? And the better way to say that is may I help you, as may I help you, because when somebody says to me, may I help you, now they're giving me an opportunity to be of service to them by allowing them to be of service to me.
Speaker 1Oh, all right, I'd like to share that again because that's nuanced, but it's deep, it's nuanced, say it again Because when someone says you need help.
Speaker 3I say no, I don't Thank you. Help, you need help. I say no, I don't thank you. And if someone says, may I help you, maybe 99, maybe 90 percent of the time, I'd say that would be, that would be lovely. Thank you so, because it's not implying that I can't do it it's saying may I be of? Service to you it's offering it's offering. It's making an offering it's offering.
Speaker 1Thank you, you're welcome. That's good. That's a great way to close. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you guys all right, I love you. This has been another episode, a goodie of black boomer besties from brooklyn.
