The Original canceled radio guys. Chris and Costello: SEASON 6
Goodbyes and Guffaws: Saluting a Stalwart Mercedes, Sizing Up Tom Brady's Roast, and Southern Twisters Meet Soulful Songsters
Strap in for a wild ride as I pour one out for my fallen metal comrade, an endearing Mercedes that left its tire marks on my heart before succumbing to the cruel fate of machinery. We'll navigate the labyrinth of insurance claims peppered with humor and arm you with negotiation tactics sharper than a dealership's suit. And if the going gets tough, we might just let you in on why lawyering up could be your best bet in this vehicular Viking funeral.
Switching gears, our chuckles continue with a front-row seat to the comedy spectacle that skewered none other than Tom Brady. Celebrities and athletes alike took swings at the football titan's expense, but we'll dissect those zingers with a dose of admiration for the man who can take a joke as well as a Super Bowl ring. Experience the hilarity and poignancy of ribbing one of sports' finest, all while maintaining the finesse of a spiral pass.
Lastly, buckle up as we cruise through the tales of 'redneck season,' where the whirlwind of Southern twisters meets the soulful twang of Jelly Roll's redemption songs. From survival stories in the face of nature's fury to the harmonious chords of a man's journey from the pen to the pinnacle of music, we find the silver linings and missing cats along the way. Tune in for this melodic mix of mayhem, memories, and music that keeps our podcasting spirits soaring.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
Strap in for a wild ride as I pour one out for my fallen metal comrade, an endearing Mercedes that left its tire marks on my heart before succumbing to the cruel fate of machinery. We'll navigate the labyrinth of insurance claims peppered with humor and arm you with negotiation tactics sharper than a dealership's suit. And if the going gets tough, we might just let you in on why lawyering up could be your best bet in this vehicular Viking funeral.
Switching gears, our chuckles continue with a front-row seat to the comedy spectacle that skewered none other than Tom Brady. Celebrities and athletes alike took swings at the football titan's expense, but we'll dissect those zingers with a dose of admiration for the man who can take a joke as well as a Super Bowl ring. Experience the hilarity and poignancy of ribbing one of sports' finest, all while maintaining the finesse of a spiral pass.
Lastly, buckle up as we cruise through the tales of 'redneck season,' where the whirlwind of Southern twisters meets the soulful twang of Jelly Roll's redemption songs. From survival stories in the face of nature's fury to the harmonious chords of a man's journey from the pen to the pinnacle of music, we find the silver linings and missing cats along the way. Tune in for this melodic mix of mayhem, memories, and music that keeps our podcasting spirits soaring.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
Hey, this is Chris.
Speaker 2:This is Costello, here we go.
Speaker 1:There we go. There's been a death in this family. Oh, here we go, there we go.
Speaker 3:There's been a death in his family, oh man.
Speaker 1:It's your favorite relative too. I can't believe this happened to you.
Speaker 2:Go ahead. You know what? The good guy young, don't they? I am bereaved. I am so terribly bereaved. Would you like to know why?
Speaker 1:Yes, go ahead and tell everyone let it out, and you'll feel better.
Speaker 2:I will try and do it and be manly, without shitting a tear. They totalled my car, my little Mercedes.
Speaker 1:My little Mercedes. We had the coolest two-seat Mercedes. Sometimes there'd be dog shit in the passenger seat and the front seat, but even it was such a cool car. And then this place you took it to because you had someone kind of t-bone you, I guess, right and you've had it in the shop since february and they took all this time to determine just now that your car is total and it's got to go. How about three, four months? What kind of damn place did you send it into.
Speaker 2:Well, no, the place was okay. The problem was the Mercedes dealership, and that's probably what tipped it over the edge, and the other place that was doing the bodywork. They were fine, they were just cool. But this is Traveler's insurance. Who are totaling it? Not my insurance, their insurance, have you gone?
Speaker 1:to look at the car. They've done some body work. It probably looks pretty good, so what's?
Speaker 2:the problem. It looks absolutely bloody wonderful. No, I haven't, but I think I shall be doing so this next week. But you've got to look at it before they cremate it. You know, Rub it in a bit more why don't you?
Speaker 1:I mean I decided my car would have pissed because it was such a cool car. It's a two-seater hardtop convertible. Costello would let that top down, let his three hairs blow in the breeze, I mean it was awesome. It was a wonderful little car and you know, the dog shit would fly out and you'd clean out the seat for you. You'd get three hairs of yours flapping up in the breeze. I mean, it was just like you couldn't get any cooler than that for South Carolina. It was a great car.
Speaker 2:It's a Mercedes man I'd only seen one other in this part of the world, and there's one on the internet and it's going for $21,000, which is about four grand more than I paid for mine. The same year, same color, everything.
Speaker 1:Jump on it. I'm well Get that insurance check and just go on over there and just go okay.
Speaker 2:I'll take it, yeah, but it won't be for 21 grand because I doubt I'm going to get that out of the insurance.
Speaker 1:You can negotiate that.
Speaker 2:That's where you're earning. Look money, Real money.
Speaker 1:Just go get cash or insurance, I'll come with cash. Here's the cash price right here, right now.
Speaker 2:And then, before I find out, that's been totaled as well.
Speaker 1:But your insurance check. You need to go look at your car, man. I mean, this is like you've had it in there since February. That's three months of them working on your car and all of a sudden they go eh, we're just tired of working, we're going to total. Screw it, Bring on the next car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we can't get the parts Bullshit. Anyway, that's very sad, sad news, and I shall move on in life, I suppose.
Speaker 1:So you get your insurance money and you get insurance money from the guy who ran into you, right?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll get insurance money from somebody.
Speaker 1:You put those two together your insurance and his insurance and bingo you've got a new Mercedes boy, here we go. That'd be nice.
Speaker 2:That'd be nice. I don't know what you just did, but it just went all fuzzy.
Speaker 1:That's your new car.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's all fuzzy. Don't do it again, I'll do it quieter. Vroom vroom. Vroom vroom.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's the sound of your car. It's fuzzy because it's total.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well what do they do with total cars? Do they just put them into an auction?
Speaker 1:Well no, they strip it for parts and then they squish it. They do the car cremation. They'll take your tires, They'll take what's good from the engine parts, all that you know what. They'll squish it and then if you cremate it off, it goes. It'll be a little tiny square block.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you what. There's new tires on there, there's a new battery in there, the brakes are really. I mean, I put top of the line Enough. This is not tool time.
Speaker 1:You enough. This is not tool time, you know. The problem is that you're getting paid your insurance from that. You can't, I would say otherwise, take the tires off and stuff, but then they'll minus that from your check, so it's theirs now You've got to go see that man. You just can't accept this yayo's word like yeah, it's total, it's over with.
Speaker 2:You've got to go look at it. I've got to call into my attorney already.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, so they at least you know. Well, we'll see, anyway.
Speaker 1:Well, I'll deal with it. Offer him again. Do we cheat him in hell? Is that it? Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:No, it's the fine, mr Finkel. He's a very good attorney, mr Finkel's name. I'm going to start that again. You might listen to this and get mad and drop the case.
Speaker 1:If New York attorneys come down to South Carolina to handle cases like yours, okay, what's fine. The other one Go get them, man. Just don't take their word for it. Go look at your car. I shall. I must definitely show them. Show me why it's total. Show me why it's total. Show me why it's dead. Show me why we made it. You go look at it, boy. Go get it, I'll get it.
Speaker 2:I'll get it, I'll go. I'll go wearing my leather jacket and riding my motorcycle to be just a little bit edgy you know, put on a fake tattoo and have your sleeve rolled up. There you go, not a tattoo, but yeah, face tattoo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have a skull and crossbones on with the saying I kill auto workers. You know and you see what you do.
Speaker 2:Any insurance adjusters yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go for it, man. Just don't take the word for it. Go for it, man. Go get it, your car, it's a great car. Did you name your car? I forgot that. Do you have a name?
Speaker 2:for it. No, I never did. I don't do that for some reason. Used to, when I was a kid, our cars all had names.
Speaker 1:Like what.
Speaker 2:Ethel was one. In fact, I think that's about the only one I can remember. I used to think Ethel.
Speaker 1:No, there was.
Speaker 2:Ethel. There was another one which was an Austin Beetle, not a Volkswagen Beetle, an A30. Don't remember what my mother used to give everything names cats, dogs, people. Oh sure, why not.
Speaker 1:I named my first car. It wasn't like a name, I just called it the Magnet. Everybody liked to run into it, so we called it the Magnet. Oh okay, I was thinking shit, magnet. But yeah, you feel like having a wreck, feel like you're hitting another car? Yeah, hit me, it won't run into the car. There's the magnet. Beat up my.
Speaker 1:That one had to be totaled after like the sixth wreck, the last one I stood in the driveway and watched the tow truck tow it away and tear running down my cheek. I was so sad. I love that car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know. Well, you know, love the car, it's true, it's true. I'm just going to go up to the insurance guy and I'm right in his face.
Speaker 1:That's it. Go down there and intimidate those South Carolina rednecks. Okay, I'll just ride the motorcycle, that'll do it, and then give them the British what for okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah say hey, come here, boy Bend over. That's two of the best.
Speaker 1:You're going to deliverance the guy. What are you going to do to him?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, I'm not poking anything up there, I'm just wrapping something around it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Go do that. Let us know how it goes. Okay, it's such a good car. It's really suck news, so let us know okay.
Speaker 2:It wasn't exactly a high-impact collision either the slowest collision you ever saw but there you go. All right, Something go Something.
Speaker 1:I can't just say I can't get the parts right now. Something, go down there and find out what it is. I want an update on next week's show Promise.
Speaker 2:I promise, why don't you come down and be menacing with me?
Speaker 1:I'd love to Welcome to the next.
Speaker 2:You ain't got shit else to do. Yep, it's a slow weekend. Well, good to know. Ain't got shit else to do.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:It's a slow weekend. Sorry, honey, I've got to go to South Carolina. That's where the ladies need to go, got to go down there.
Speaker 1:It's been kind of outside of your death and your family, your car.
Speaker 1:It's been kind of a week all kinds of stuff going on, recurring stories a lot. You know, this is true. The first thing we got to do the Trump thing he was whining, because first he begged the judge. I need to get off trial day so I go to my son's graduation. The judge, the judge granted trump to do that. I don't get to be with my beautiful life milady on her birthday. Well, you know what she really wanted to be with him on his on her birthday. She could have come to where he was, which is new york, you know, obviously, and she wanted to be around that orange turd so she didn't bother going up. But he whined about it, okay, and we were lucky we had the Kristen Costello microphone there, so we got the Trump birthday whine.
Speaker 2:Should we do it now? Shall we, shall, we do that. Is that the birthday card?
Speaker 1:It's the birthday whine from Trump to Melania on her birthday Wishing her a happy birthday.
Speaker 5:I'd like to read to you all from a letter I sent today to my wife, melania, on her birthday. To my dearest wife, melania, happy birthday, my darling. I'm so sorry I can't be with you on this special day, but I am standing trial for falsifying business records and campaign violations stemming from a sexual relationship I had with a porn star when you were pregnant with your I mean our son. And let me tell you, honey, that Stormy Daniels has got titties for days. I'm talking about titties like you'll never have Great big ones. She almost got me to have an erection but, as you know, I'm impotent so it didn't last long. But in any case, stormy's got knockers like a porn star, which she is. But in any case, stormy's got knockers like a porn star, which she is.
Speaker 5:And as you know, honey, my, my purchase agreement from when I bought you, specifies that I can raw dog as many famed whores as I want, and you can't do anything about it. You should have never married me if you wanted a decent man with principles. I mean, I hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, for fuck's sake. What did you expect? And yes, my darling, they're going to put Karen McDougal on the stand and she'll testify that I had an extended affair with her when your son I mean our son was an infant. I romanced that woman and spent a lot of money on her and just basically played you for a fool, which is what I think you are, my sweet darling. I had countless other affairs and sexually assaulted other women and even raped them. I'm a disgusting sexual deviant and a pervert and a habitual abuser of women. But on this special day, I wish you the very best. And, as you say in your language which, as you know, means you probably shouldn't have signed your life away back in 2005, you, slovenian hag there you go.
Speaker 1:I think Melanie had a great birthday because she didn't have to be around him. So happy birthday to you, you know hopefully not soon to be first lady again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, amen to that, and yeah, of course I mean. You know it's so obedient, hag.
Speaker 1:He must love her Trump. Of course we're going to do that a little bit later. Again, we're going to bring up a really heavily watched. They did a live event on Netflix. The last time they did a live event was at the Chris Rock stand-up concert, which is live. Of course you can do it now, you can even watch it. But Sunday they did the ultimate roast of retired football GOAT.
Speaker 1:The best quarterback of all time, tom Brady, had a perform on LA. It was about God, 12,000 people in there to watch that. It was some really stinking funny parts. It lasted three hours, a three-hour roast. I mean I thought man, it's way too much. But you know what Each person was funny. Belichick was there, I got a grok. Rob Wachowski being dumb, you know, stinking hilarious. But they really made fun of Giselle a lot at the ex-wife Giselle. They call her Giselle. You know just, you said you got the G is it's just a boyfriend? I was just thinking fine, she's pissed off, she's gone. You know, all I care about is respect for myself and our family and our kids and him going there and those people just rip our family to shreds like that. It's just awful. It's a roast, damn it. That's what they're about. You know he had to sit there and take it in person. I mean they stuck it to him.
Speaker 2:This is what roasts are. Yeah, so he got pissed off? Did he walk off?
Speaker 1:No, he got pissed at one thing All the people making fun of his ex-wife, giselle, he didn't say a word. He laughed, he rolled his eyes. But when a guy one of the roastmasters made fun of his ex-owner, robert Kraft, he got up and told him you can hear him on the mic going. Don't bring up that shit again is what he said and what Ross is talking about. He's going. And this part is true he goes. When Brady was picked number 199 in the draft, the sixth and final round, he walked into Mr Kraft's office the owner. He goes. You picking me is the best thing that you've ever done for this franchise, which is true. He said that. Then he added on one extra line he goes now. Would you like a massage? Remember Mr Kraft was you know he got.
Speaker 1:He got into heat for soliciting prostitutes at a massage parlor down in Florida. That's where the massage joke came in. So Brady gets up and goes. Don't bring up that shit again, because apparently him and Kraft are pretty close. The only reason he left was because of Coach Belichick.
Speaker 2:So we'll be able to watch this on what Netflix?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's on right now it's speaking. Hilarious man. It's just like Drew Bledsoe, who was the quarterback of the Patriots, who got hurt, was really sick in the hospital. That's when Brady took over and did so well that Bledsoe never was the starting quarterback again. He said there's two things that I have. Even though you've got these seven Super Bowl rings, all these MVPs and you took my fucking job, he goes, but I've got two things you'll ever have, one being the first draft pick, which he was, and two, I just celebrated my 28th wedding anniversary. You've already been divorced twice. Oh really, you had the best set. You got to watch this Gatel. She goes. So you got seven rings, but eight now because Giselle gave hers back. Oh, kevin Hart's going, tom, what part didn't you get? She's going just so quiet. That's eight times a day. Didn't the light bulb go off? You dumb shit? He'd go. Fuck you, tom. All right.
Speaker 2:We'll have to watch that.
Speaker 1:That's going to be good for us. Look how pretty he is. One guy goes I want to fuck that dimple on your face. I mean it's just. I mean it's out there, so you'll love it. Costello, it's great there's so many good drops we can pull from that show. We'll do so and we'll play some highlights next week for those who haven't watched it yet or don't have Netflix Okay, all right, you've got it. You may not get all the jokes because a lot of them are in reference to football and his career and other players and whatever. So if you know football stuff, then it's all speaking funny Some you may go what Over your head.
Speaker 2:What the hell are you talking about? That's what I said.
Speaker 1:You're known as Mr Sports Guy Costello 2024. Yes, indeed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I know. At least I know what a quarter is now, I mean a quarterback is. So you know.
Speaker 1:And who hikes the ball to the quarterback? So you know. And who hikes the ball to the quarterback? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, that time.
Speaker 2:No Center, the center, oh, okay. Okay, I know that now.
Speaker 1:Slowly but surely. Slowly but surely. He hikes the ball to Brady and he's not going to pass. He hands it off to the who Receiver. Nope, he's not passing. So he gets hiked the ball by the center. He turns around. He's not going to be a pass player, so he hands the ball off to the who.
Speaker 2:To the referee Running back. Yeah, the running referee back. Yeah, I just look at the. Can they run, do they catch, do they score? Okay?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's it. Watch it for the beer commercials, I know.
Speaker 2:Hey, you know, well, I'm watching that UFSL thing, that new football.
Speaker 1:I'm surprised you're watching that Because he gives a crap People. Will you wait and see Sometimes?
Speaker 2:good players. I'm surprised you're watching that because he gives a crap. It's like spring football.
Speaker 1:Ah people, will you wait and see you move? Sometimes good players come from that who make it to the NFL. They leave, you know. You remember Trump. He saw a football team that was a different league, the New Jersey Generals. That was his, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, that went bankrupt. Like all the other stuff he touches, he touches it and it turns to crap.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, it sounds like my poor car, have you?
Speaker 1:been watching.
Speaker 2:I just don't know if I can continue. I mean, you know Just invite me to the funeral.
Speaker 1:I'd like to go to that. I can't pay my respect A funeral for a car. I can see pay my respect A funeral for a car.
Speaker 2:You know, we can make it now you can have like a Go ahead. I'm sorry you could have like a low rider there, you know a truck and put it up on that with flowers around it and just have all the other Mercedes do this long thing around it.
Speaker 1:I've got my classic car there, which is the Magnet Part 2,. Okay, I got a classic car over my original car, which is the Magnet, so now I've seen it in the garage it's the Magnet Part 2.
Speaker 2:Oh really, people are hitting. That too, no, no.
Speaker 1:The original one was the Magnet. This one is in pristine shape, okay. No one said that, no one said that and my wife dinged the door, opening her car into the side of it, except I had a heart attack over it, so outside of that it's perfect.
Speaker 2:Oh, not your, the one that was in the shop forever as well.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, oh, I got mine back. Okay, it was in there for five and a half freaking months that I got it back. We're going to have a funeral for your car, which I have a good name now that your car is gone. It would be the Hot Red Dog Turdmobile.
Speaker 2:Something very strange has just happened. I've just heard the door close.
Speaker 1:You have an intruder. That's your neighbor. He's just come over to get a beer out of the fridge. It might be, it might be.
Speaker 2:Boogie. I haven't seen him in a while. Oh boy, it looks stormy outside. Maybe that's what it was. The door opened again. I have a cat. She can now open and close that back door.
Speaker 1:I have two dogs that do that Right now. Where we are. The bears are coming out and they're hungry. They're all over the neighborhood, so you can't leave any food out. If they think there's some food around, they just won't stop on the outside. They'll rip into your car, break into your house if they think there's food around. So you've got to be really careful. But they're everywhere.
Speaker 2:I don't think we have bears here. We have raccoons, which I've only seen one. Yeah, no bears. Spring comes out to rednecks in South Carolina.
Speaker 1:Right, it's redneck season.
Speaker 2:They come out for redneck season.
Speaker 1:Yes, no, it is the rednecks. Do come out, it's redneck season.
Speaker 2:Oh. I don't know, I know nothing.
Speaker 1:Springtime is the rednecks come out of hibernation from the winter. They come out of their backyards in the trailers and they're out there in the public walking the streets. Redneck season man.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, I'll go get me a 12-4 or something and go hunting.
Speaker 1:Get you a six-pack of beer and you see them walk around and just go here you go, here you go, there we go. Good to see you again. Been a long winter, yeah.
Speaker 2:Sure has, boy. You know what it's 90 degrees today. It's been quite warm here, as a matter of fact, and I think we have a storm On the way as well. I can see the Leaves coming off the trees and the birds heading Wherever they can. Midwest see the leaves coming off the trees and the birds heading wherever they can.
Speaker 1:Midwestern storms are coming your way, man. Do you guys have any tornado warnings out there in South Carolina?
Speaker 2:We have them. But you know what, when I lived in Belton, texas, which is where I moved from, they never had tornadoes or anything. Well, I mean, we did occasionally. But this last week they've had so many tornadoes in that area, like Temple Waco that area, that I mean, man, I'm surprised the place is still there. There's a little town in Oklahoma, I think it's Enid, that is now no more. That wasn't a small town either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my accountant lives in Bartlesville, oklahoma. He was a mile from the more. That wasn't a small town either. My accountant lives in Bartlesville, oklahoma. He was a mile from me. I would say Bartlesville. Yes, he lost all of his trees and stuff, but his house is okay.
Speaker 2:But he's okay, he's good. Yeah, well, of course you know about houses and tornadoes, don't you?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes sir.
Speaker 1:That'd be right about a year ago? Yep, about a year ago, and that four-hip at the house that I bought lived in for quite a long time. Yeah, and so I understand that. I was told yesterday that the occupant of it now has moved back in. The house has been repaired, it took me over a year and she's back in there.
Speaker 2:Oh, is she indeed oh well a nice respite before she goes somewhere else. I don't know. Look at that house, man. I mean the wall, the main wall, was just buckled out. I mean, it was really bizarre.
Speaker 1:But check the foundations. They had to do foundation work and just put everything back together.
Speaker 2:Let's just be positive and say, well, that's a good thing. And how's the chimney? Did they reinforce that or did they weaken it a bit more? The?
Speaker 1:chimney was great, but that's what saved her Yep.
Speaker 2:So they didn't walk behind the chimney.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that did it.
Speaker 2:So your architectural plans that you drew up to kind of weaken it a bit, didn't.
Speaker 1:She goes into my hidey hole and saved her life by going to my hidey hole. Well then she went to the porn room and to get her life saved with the F-4 trainer, Well, there you go.
Speaker 2:You should be feeling very happy about that. You are be feeling very happy about that. Not many people get divorced, lose their house and then have their house demolished by a tornado.
Speaker 1:I mean come on, that is just like, yeah, all right, it could have been a cause for celebration, but it turned out it was not.
Speaker 2:It wasn't no. The hidey hole ruined everything, oh well.
Speaker 1:It did.
Speaker 2:We're going down a dark passage, rather like a hidey hole. Let's keep all the few listeners that we have left. Let's say a great big hello to everybody who emailed us, by the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we appreciate that that's super Glad to have you, man. Glad to have you.
Speaker 2:I tell you what we're a hidden Saudi we are.
Speaker 1:We'll take the Saudis, yeah.
Speaker 2:You can actually. We'll take anybody and everything.
Speaker 1:At the Saudis. We're getting people over in your neck of the woods, over in England, Scotland, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and of course in the south of America, south part of London, we're at the redneck favorite station, because we do pick up Trump from time to time. But, the rednecks.
Speaker 1:I wanted to ask you about this have you been watching American Idol at all?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, it's not a bad season.
Speaker 1:It's Katy Perry's last year on it. So do you know who she wants to replace her as judge? And she's asked the guy. The guy said yes, of course the producers haven't asked him yet, but he said he would do it and she picked her own replacement, but just the producers haven't said yes yet. You know who she wants, did you know? You don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I don't. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:You ready, I'm ready. Jelly roll, oh come on.
Speaker 3:I only talk to God when I need a favor and I only pray when I ain't got a prayer. So who the hell am I? Who the hell am I to expect a savior? We'll be right back, but I ain't been living them worse Swear. I spend more Sundays Drunk off my ass Than I have in church. Hardcover King James Only been saving dust On the nightstand and I don't know what to say by the time I'm a King James, I ain't been saving dust.
Speaker 1:He was like a guest maker over there in Hawaii. It just blew me away. I gotta go back to church because of him. He can sell me anything. He's my replacement. I want Jelly Roll. That would be interesting Jelly. Roll has come out of nowhere. This guy was in prison. He was in prison tattoos. He's overweight. He got out. He had one successful song. He's got a new CD out. He's like on a friggin' roll. I mean, what do you think of Jelly Roll? Do you like his music? Do you like him as a?
Speaker 2:person. It's not bad. I mean, you know it's definitely not. I mean I think it's, I would say, very clever, but well done for doing what you've done and getting to where you're getting. What I would like to see is what I'd like to know is what Lionel Richie would have to say about this. I mean, there's a guy who has been in my business all of them when he was a guest pitcher.
Speaker 1:I think he liked it. So Jelly has got new teeth now. Okay, 350 pounds got a long way to go. You know His song you should have paid attention to is called I Only Talk to God when I need a favor. But, Castello, if you didn't talk to God and said I just saved my car, you might still have a car, but you didn't get a favor well, maybe that's playing on my car's radio as we speak.
Speaker 2:We could have that as part of the memorial.
Speaker 1:Just think about those lyrics, isn't it true? People only really turn to talk to God when they need something. Or please speak to yourself those lyrics, isn't it true, people?
Speaker 2:only really turn to talk to god when they need something. You know, oh, if there is a god. Actually I had this really thing, weird thing happen with, uh, one of my cats who was in texas with me. Unfortunately didn't make it out, but, um, he was very old when we moved and he got lost and four days and I'm, I'm looking for Bob. Bob was incredible. He was a wonderful animal.
Speaker 2:Well, cats do that shit. They leave for a while and come back, right. Well, I don't know if he was planning on coming back, but anyways, yeah, sometimes he did, but at any rate. So I'm walking around this little bit of the neighborhood and somebody said, well, that's where all the cats go, I go, all right. Well, that's where all the cats go, I go, all right. Well then, here's hoping, because I really was missing him more than I'm missing my car at this point. So I go around the corner and said, you know, just in that kind of self-narrative you have, you know, you're thinking to yourself well, you know what, if there is a God, bob will walk around this corner right now. No, he didn't do exactly that.
Speaker 1:So after the blue ping, there's bob there bob was that he became a leader of the neighborhood gang and that's why he hasn't been probably.
Speaker 2:He was huge.
Speaker 1:He was twice as big as my mother who's his cat to do that. My mom had a cat. That cat would take off for a week, two weeks at a time. He'd come back with a rat or bird in his mouth or just whatever he felt like coming back home, she didn't worry about it, he'd just go for days. Bob was old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he shouldn't be going. He was old and he was an ex-breeder, like the cat I have now. Same thing she's a breeder.
Speaker 1:He's a humper. He's a whateder. He's a humper. He's a. What A humper. He's a breeder. Come on, oh yeah, he was.
Speaker 2:So was Malone. That's one way of getting a purebred cat and not having to spend any money on it when they retire them.
Speaker 1:But a dog guy. I mean. Picture yourself you're looking for your cat. You're out there going Bob, hey, bob, bob, the cat. When you call them, they just look at you and go eh, fuck you, you've got your calling your dog. Your dog's ears will perk up and they'll go oh, it's my master. And they come running and say, hey, hey, how you doing? Will you call a cat? If you leave me alone, I've got things to do. I'm hanging out with the neighborhood kitty guys out here we're going to spend the day.
Speaker 2:This is true, but I was a good mile and a half away from the house for a start, a long ways off right by the railroad tracks, and it was one of those magical moments. You know, it was just interesting, so there you go.
Speaker 1:You only talk to God when you need a favor, and he came through for it. Our Bob heard you say it and he goes. Jesus, this guy's desperate. Let me show him what the freaking cats do you know?
Speaker 2:I do think it's kind of interesting, though, that Shelley Roll's story Well, when he won his Grammy last year, won his Grammy last year.
Speaker 1:Man. He's winning the big country music awards coming up. Later this month. He's up for Entertainer of the Year, which is the biggie. The guy's had a stinking awesome year, the thing is do you like him, do you like his music?
Speaker 2:I don't particularly care about his music. I can't say that I really wouldn't go out of my way for it. But I thought it was funny when he got that, his first award, and they got him on on shot and he's he's like in the background, they're looking at his his trophy and slips out of his hand and smashes. Yeah, I just thought that was funny.
Speaker 1:I thought, well, I wonder he came out of prison. He cleaned up his act and he went for it. He's like the guy who's having all these things come to him almost 40 years old when it happens to other people, usually in their low 20s. So he goes. I'm a walking testimony. Don't give up. You can do it any time in life. Turn things around. You can always turn things around and be better. So around and be better. So the positive message for jelly is pretty good. That's true, yes. What was his real name? Fat Bob, or just Jelly Roll, jelly Roll. What's his real name? Fat Bob.
Speaker 2:Fat Bob? I don't know, honestly, I have no idea. Johnny's Big Boy? Yeah, oh, that's it, denny.
Speaker 1:Denny Denny's. Oh, is that really his real name, denny Denny Denny's. Oh, is that really his real name, Denny.
Speaker 2:Denny, that's his real name, denny.
Speaker 1:Grand Slam. Thank you, man. Breakfast yes sir. Exactly.
Speaker 2:That's what his ex-girlfriend says. Yeah, grand Slam my ass.
Speaker 1:And so he did and ended up in jail. It's like all of a sudden we're deluged with jelly roll all over the place. His new song, I think it's called Save Me. He goes why would you want to save a scumbag like me? So he's got Dr Govan in your favor, save me. So I guess he's just singing about his life where he was and where he's come now. So that's pretty good. Every song sounds kind of gospel-y to me, so I'm not really into that too much.
Speaker 2:Not into gospel. I'm sorry You'd never make it in this town, pal.
Speaker 1:When I come over, do you have to show me your gospel album collection? Okay.
Speaker 2:Oh sure man, yeah. Yeah, I've got like three walls of it, you know, and I've got it in the basement and I've got gold records down there too, a bit like you've got.
Speaker 1:So mine's gospel, yeah every Sunday morning Costello goes to church, listens to the choir. The Murdoch Choir. The Murdoch Choir yeah, that's right, murdoch. South Carolina Redneck Choir.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, I've got to love this place. Well, I suppose you know, the car. Going back to the car thing again, it definitely put a rather large full stop on everything. So things are coming to a conclusion finally, you need to go there.
Speaker 1:I will, I'll do it. Get yourself a redneck from your church and just have them do a laying of the hands on your car. Heel it, heel it.
Speaker 2:Get this car out of this car.
Speaker 1:Crank right up man Heel it. Get the car out of this car Crank right up man.
Speaker 2:Heel that car oh boy. Just give me a sign. Give me a sign. Oh well, oh well, never mind.
Speaker 1:We'll see how it goes with the car. Here's a question for everybody, okay, who already is sick of the Trump trial? I mean this is going to last maybe another four weeks. You know he's miserable sitting there At least. At least we get some audio from the trial a little bit.
Speaker 2:We do. You know, and here's the thing, this guy I mean he is just he's got some intestinal problems. This is what happens when you eat nothing but McDonald's, which is what he does.
Speaker 1:Or KFC.
Speaker 2:Or KFC, or KFC. But I remember watching the state dinner he was giving to somebody and it was McDonald's. I'll throw him tons of money.
Speaker 1:That was terrible. Yes, this is it. If we can get somebody from the court case, let's go.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, he did, he started farting again, and well. Yeah, he did, he started farting again and well this is what this is.
Speaker 3:So this is what happened. All rise court is in session.
Speaker 4:The Honorable Judge Juan Mershon is on the bench. Be seated. The defendant will rise.
Speaker 5:Yes, your so called honor, which you have no honor, because you're a fraud and a scam.
Speaker 4:Mr Trump, did you just fart?
Speaker 5:No, I didn't fart. And you can't prove that I farted Because I've never farted, ever, like no one ever didn't fart.
Speaker 4:Uh yeah, you just did it again, mr Trump. The court has received complaints that you are not only threatening the members of the jury, but that you are also falling asleep and relentlessly passing gas.
Speaker 5:So that's fake news and I have never farted, so you're a fraud and a scam.
Speaker 4:Mr Trump, you are taxing the court's patience with your lies and your unbelievably horrible farts. In fact, oh my God, it's up here now. That wasn't me, it was you.
Speaker 5:You are a farting judge who farts like no one has ever farted before and you're conflicted and you fart and your daughter Shut the fuck up about my daughter before I clap you in chains and have you hauled off to Rikers Island. You chronic fart machine, judge you are a fraud and a fake and a scam and this case should never have been brought and it's a witch hunt and sleepy Joe Biden is a.
Speaker 4:Mr Trump, mr Trump, oh, holy fucking. Jesus. Court is in recess. Get some fans in here.
Speaker 2:Good stuff, good stuff. I hear that's exactly the way it went as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just one of the many things that we're going to be featuring when we put together, within the next month, the Trump channel.
Speaker 2:Okay, oh yeah, yeah, that's so much material.
Speaker 1:So the people who don't like him are going to love it. The people who love him are going to want to come kill us for it. You turn that damn thing off, but yeah, it's going to be a good thing.
Speaker 2:Here was my thinking. When I first proposed this. You said you'll piss half of America off. First of all, I don't think you'll be half of America. But then again I said, hey, I don't care if they're pissed off at me. You know the others, the other 50%. I'd rather have them listen to our show. Actually, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Our European audience is going to love it. Our Saudi audience is going to love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Well, I think you'll find it. Europeans are going to English. People are going to absolutely pee themselves.
Speaker 1:It's going to be so funny, yeah we get Trump songs, we get Trump bits, we get AI Trump, we get Trump jokes. I mean, you name it, we get Trump 24-7.
Speaker 2:And not only that, but we'll both be wearing red hair pieces while we do it. But of course it won't be us. We'll have to change our names to something else. You're Eric, I'll be.
Speaker 1:Don Jr. Okay, You're Eric. Yeah we can do that. Sure, that's what we'll do. Easy to play Eric Eric goes what.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that sounds like me. That's my usual input to our shows these days. What?
Speaker 1:That's my usual input to our shows these days what Eh? And our first guest on the Trump channel will be Ivanka.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, okay, hang on here, I just lost you. There you go. Okay, I got you back.
Speaker 1:She's already committed and stuff, so it's going to be fun. Trump channel game coming soon. It's going to be a good time okay. Then I'll get jelly to sing the opening, of course.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Good idea. We could do that. We're owed so much by so many people in the industry. Yes we are. It's time we started collecting some debts, in my personal opinion, that's right, we want to collect on what's owed to us.
Speaker 2:Talking of that, if you go to wwwchristencostellocom, the first thing that hits you actually it tries to hit you up for money. It's only $3 to subscribe, so why don't you go ahead and do that and make us feel better? You can, of course, spend more, but you know, one $3 donation will buy me a peg for my nose. You know when we have to talk about the trail.
Speaker 1:And we can save a starving dog at the same time.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, a farting dog as well, exactly. W-w-w-w-w-w, w-w-w-w-w-w. All right, h-t-t-t-s, w-w-w.
Speaker 1:Keep the show and keep up the love. As we live in South Carolina, Costello, keep the rednecks alive.
Speaker 2:I wish we could keep the car alive.
Speaker 1:You know what You're breaking up.
Speaker 2:You're breaking up really badly.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm going to squeal. Here's Costello's mechanic Bend over buddy.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see that, that, that Get down there, boy, that, that, that.
Speaker 3:That bridge is down Just there.