071: Sexologist Alexa Andre on The Secret to Relaxing While Receiving Oral, “One Penis Policy”, Biphobia and How to Navigate When One Partner is Less Experienced in Ethical Non Monogamy

This week, Vee and Elle discuss a range of topics with sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa), a sex therapist and host of the podcast In Bed with Alexa. They cover everything from new couples exploring ethical non-monogamy, to being able to relax into receiving oral (especially as a vulva owner), to navigating bisexuality, and so much more, including:

What advice do you have for a couple in which one partner has more experience than the other in non-monogamy?  How can you deal when you’re unsure whether it will work with someone who has no experience with being open? (4:51)

Vulva owners reciving oral: tasting yourself so you’re not worried about how you taste or smell, and the benefit of having a partner who loves natural body odors. (17:07)

Alexa’s secret to relaxing when receiving oral: setting time boundaries! How long do you think it actually takes you to orgasm? Getting over guilt for taking “too long” to orgasm while receiving. (22:49)

Bisexuality and biphobia.  How does biphobia show up in non-monogamous spaces? What is “one penis policy”, and how a male partner dictating that their female partner can be with other women but not other men is problematic. The stigma of male-on-male play in swinger spaces and sex parties. (30:11)

 

The stigma of male-on-male play in swinger spaces and sex parties. Normalizing speaking about bisexuality, especially in men. Watching your male partner give head and deep throating. (34:29) 

Alexa’s specialties, and the full range of volume in sex - letting go vocally when coming vs holding your breath and being totally silent. (39:20) 

Is it weird to announce it when you orgasm? (41:44) 

“Challenge your beliefs and question everything.” What do YOU actually want? The path to a greater sex life. (43:42)