Mirror, mirror on the wall: Transforming Self-Perception for Self-Love

This episode of Reverse Reset Restore explores the profound practice of mirror work for fostering self-love and acceptance. We'll delve into the history and cultural significance of mirrors, touching on their origins, symbolism,  mythologies and roles in various traditions and rituals.

And then we'll look at how we can utilise the magic of mirrors in our modern age practice of mirror work.

The  act of using mirrors for therapeutic and self-improvement purposes, first championed by the inspiring Louise Hay,  is explained as a method to forge a new, positive relationship with oneself. The episode discusses the benefits of mirror work, including self-reflection, self-awareness, healing emotional wounds, building confidence, changing negative self-perceptions, and enhancing body image.

I'll take you  through a practical mirror work exercise, complete with affirmations aimed at fostering self-love and combating inner criticism. The practice is presented as a journey towards personal reclamation and empowerment, encouraging consistent engagement for transformative results.

Step into the world of mirror work,  and uncover its potential to revolutionise your daily routine. Feel the discomfort but embrace the growth as we navigate the practicalities of affirming and nurturing your inner self. This episode not only offers guidance through mirror exercises but also serves as a companion in your journey toward self-love and healing from emotional wounds.

Prepare to complement these insights with a bonus episode of extended affirmations, designed to support and elevate your mirror work practice. Remember, it's not just about changing your reflection—it's about transforming your life.

The bonus episode is episode 89: Mirror Magic: Empowering Self Love with Affirmations

You can also listen to a n extended video version of these mirror -work inspired affirmations on our Reverse Reset Restore YouTube Channel. 

The quote for rounding out our episode comes from New Thought author, Don Miguel Ruiz, who writes: 

“When you look at yourself in a mirror, do you like what you see, or do you judge your body and use the word to tell yourself lies? If you believe that you are not attractive enough, then you believe a lie, and you are using the word against yourself, against the truth.”

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Transcript

Exploring the Symbolism of Mirrors

Speaker 1 0:00

This is Reverse Reset Restore, the podcast that is dedicated to nurturing the most important relationship you'll ever have, the one with yourself. I'm Sally, your guide on this journey towards personal reclamation. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? Come with me and find out. Hint, it's you. Change comes from within. Hello and welcome to Reverse Reset Restore. If this is your first time here, I am so happy that you are giving me some of your time today and I hope that you know you are right where you are meant to be. And for my returning listeners, thank you so much for coming back to be with me. I feel incredibly blessed and grateful to be in this journey together. Blessed and grateful to be in this journey together.

Speaker 1 1:06

Now, as we get into today's episode, you might be wondering what the heck are we doing, because today is a bit of a departure from our usual programming. Today I want us to do a practical, physical task and, yeah, I know that sometimes we do affirmations, or I encourage you to get physical or do some writing, etc. But this ask may be a little unconventional for you and it might be a little or a lot uncomfortable. I'm going to take you through an exercise that you can use to forge a new relationship with yourself. And, as the title of this episode suggests, we are going to use a mirror. Mirror exercises, also known as mirror therapy or mirror work, have been used for various therapeutic purposes and self-improvement practices. The use of mirrors have roots in cultural practices throughout history. From ancient religious rituals to folklore and mythological stories. Mirrors have held a significant place in human culture. In this episode we'll delve into the history of mirrors, explore their symbolism in folklore and mythology, discuss how mirror work can be used for self-love, why it helps, and provide a practical walkthrough example with affirmations to help you harness the transformative power of mirror work. So here's a little history of mirrors for those of you who, like me, lean into the nerdish side of life, and also because up until this point I've never actually even really considered how mirrors are made.

Speaker 1 2:57

So the silver glass mirrors found throughout the world today first got their start in Germany almost 200 years ago. In 1835, a German chemist, justus von Liebig for my German listeners I'm really sorry if I butchered that name he developed a process for applying a thin layer of metallic silver to one side of a pane of clear glass. This technique was soon adapted and improved upon, allowing for the mass production of mirrors. And while modern mirrors may have originated in the 19th century, mirrors in general have actually been around for much longer. According to a 2006 review by vision scientist Dr Jay Enoch in the journal Optometry and Vision Science, people in Anatolia, which is now known as modern-day Turkey, manufactured the first mirrors out of ground and polished obsidian, which is a volcanic glass, about 8,000 years ago.

Speaker 1 3:58

Since their invention, mirrors have been deeply ingrained in human culture, playing multifaceted roles and symbolizing diverse concepts. So let's talk about some of these ideas that span cultural, superstitious or mythological beliefs surrounding mirrors, and if any of these are practices you use, I would love to hear about them. Please let me know over on the Reverse Reset Restore Facebook page. I think many of us grew up hearing that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck. This superstition dates back to ancient Rome, where it was believed that breaking a mirror would bring about misfortune for the person who broke it for seven years. The exact origin of this belief is unclear, but it has persisted, particularly in western culture.

Speaker 1 4:50

Around the world, there's a tradition of covering mirrors in the house when someone dies. For some cultures, this practice is rooted in superstition and is believed to prevent the deceased person's spirit from becoming trapped in the mirror or from being able to see their reflection, which could delay their journey to the afterlife. For others, such as Judaism, for example, covering the mirrors while sitting shiver allows mourners to redirect their focus towards reflection and introspection, especially for the person who's passed away, rather than vanity and personal appearance. In Chinese culture, and using the ancient principles of feng shui, mirrors should not be in the bedroom at all or should be covered, as they can disrupt sleep, because they actually increase energy. This could explain something from my own life, because my bedroom closet covers one whole wall in our bedroom and the doors are all mirrored from floor to ceiling. It makes me wonder, if I was to cover them, if it would improve my sleep, and that may be something I might do just to test this feng shui theory and also because it would be nice to get some decent sleep theory, and also because it would be nice to get some decent sleep.

Speaker 1 6:08

In some cultures, including African, native American and East Asian traditions, it is believed that mirrors have the power to capture a person's soul. This belief can extend to cameras and photographs, with some cultures outright refusing photos or videos to be used. This belief is also particularly common in folklore and mythology, where mirrors are often used as portals to other worlds or dimensions. In the movie Constantine, for example, he performs an exorcism, trapping the demon into a mirror before smashing it and thus preventing it from being able to be a part of our world. In certain cultures, mirrors are believed to have the power to reveal a person's true nature or intentions, and this belief is also often associated with divination or fortune telling practices, where mirrors are considered to be able to reveal the future. Perhaps this is why the use of crystal balls have also become part of the fortune teller's tools. In some Middle Eastern countries and some European cultures, mirrors are believed to have protective properties and are used to ward off evil spirits or negative energy. This belief is often rooted in superstition and folklore, where mirrors are placed in doorways or windows to reflect negative energy away from the home.

Speaker 1 7:33

Also in folklore and mythology, the concept of the doppelganger, or double, is often associated with mirrors. It is believed that seeing one's own reflection in a mirror could be an omen of death or disaster, as it may indicate the presence of an evil twin or spirit. That's an easy mistake to make first thing in the morning, at least in my household. While it's not a mirror exactly, the novel the Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde recounts how the painted portrait of the young man Dorian begins to change as the real Dorian indulges in a life of lavish desires and immorality. With each new sin or transgression against all moral codes, the picture becomes more hideous. The picture is reflecting the vileile, hideous nature of Dorian's soul and the story matches up to the concept of doppelganger being a harbinger of death and destruction.

Speaker 1 8:38

Ancient civilizations like the Egyptians and Greeks held mirrors in high regard, attributing to them a mystical quality. Believed to mirror the divine, these reflective surfaces became integral parts of religious ceremonies and rituals, even ascribing mystical powers to them. In Egyptian mythology, for example, the god Thoth was purported to have utilized a mirror in the act of creating the universe. In ancient Greek and Mayan civilizations, mirrors were believed to have the power to enhance fertility and promote conception. This belief is often tied to ancient fertility rituals and practices, where mirrors were used as a symbol of abundance and prosperity.

Speaker 1 9:26

In vampire lore, vampires are said to have no reflection in mirrors. This belief likely stems from the idea that vampires are creatures of darkness and evil and therefore cannot be reflected in something as pure as a mirror, because mirrors reflect light and throughout history, mirrors or reflections have been associated with vanity and self-absorption. This belief is often depicted in literature and art, where mirrors are used as symbols of narcissism or excessive self-love. Perhaps two of the most famous examples that highlight the powerful symbolism of mirrors in this context is in the stories of Snow White and the much older mythology of Echo and Narcissus. We all know the story of Snow White the tragic demise of her mother, the subsequent remarriage of her father to the epitome of the evil stepmother of all stepmothers. The evil queen in Snow White relied on the magic mirror to bolster her self-esteem because she craved external validation and reassurance of her beauty and superiority. In the story, the mirror serves as a reflection of her perceived perfection, constantly reaffirming her belief that she was the fairest in the land. This need for validation stemmed from her deep-seated insecurity and fear of being surpassed by someone younger and more beautiful than her, such as Snow White. The magic mirror became a tool for the evil queen to maintain her sense of power and dominance, deriving her relentless pursuit of beauty and control. Similarly, in the tale of Echo and Narcissus.

Speaker 1 11:19

Narcissus is a handsome chap, the type to make anyone swoon, unfortunately, chap the type to make anyone swoon. Unfortunately, he knows he is ridiculously good-looking too good-looking for just anyone or everyone and he's pretty quick to diss the love that Echo tries to give him. Unfortunately for Narcissus, the goddess Aphrodite overheard him, being really rude in his rejection of Echo and she cursed him. So Narcissus was walking by a lake one day, sees the most stunning creature he has ever seen in his life and he immediately falls deeply in love with this person. It takes him a while to realize that the person who has stolen his heart is actually his own reflection and because he cannot stop looking at himself in the surface of this lake, he is enamored with himself. It ultimately leads to his death. Like all our myths and legends and superstitions and fables, there are lessons to be learned in these two stories. Both underscore the dangers of placing excessive importance on external appearances and the consequences of seeking validation from external sources.

Speaker 1 12:44

Now you may be wondering why we've been talking about the history, cultural and mythological stories or fairy tales about mirrors, when I'm going to ask you to use a mirror for this exercise. I guess because I wanted to lay the foundation for you that mirrors have long been a part of our collective histories and laid the foundations for some of our cultural beliefs and practices. While many of the ones I've talked briefly about here are cautionary tales, there is also hope and good to come from mirrors, especially in our modern day practices. I also wanted to help us use this exercise to see that the first step towards silencing your inner critic is to become aware of the power of self-talk. Often we underestimate the impact our thoughts can have on our self-esteem and overall well-being. By paying attention to the language you use when speaking to yourself or about yourself, and then challenging any negative or self-sabotaging beliefs that arise by erasing them and replacing with positive thoughts and affirmations, we can change our lives. Remember, you have the power to choose which thoughts to listen to and which ones to dismiss. And hey, if an evil queen can use mirror work to her advantage, so can we, my fairest beauties.

Speaker 1 14:19

The modern practice of mirror therapy gained prominence in the field of psychology and self-help through the work of Louise Hay, a motivational author and speaker. Hay popularized mirror work as a tool for promoting self-love, healing emotional wounds and fostering personal growth. Her book Mirror Work 21 Days to Heal your Life introduced mirror exercises as a structured practice for developing self-awareness and self-compassion. The great thing about this work, and Louise herself, is that you don't actually have to follow a very strict, step-by-step way of doing this. Even implementing a one-minute mirror practice into your morning routine will be beneficial. There really are no hard and fast rules here. Simply give yourself space to practice self-love in front of the mirror to help you break through your own barriers. American artist Cindy Sherman says I'm really just using the mirror to summon something I don't even know until I see it. And that's what this exercise is all about. We're going to summon something that already resides within us, that maybe we've forgotten about, or it lies dormant and unseen in the depths of our beings. It lies dormant and unseen in the depths of our beings.

Speaker 1 15:48

Mirror work offers a transformative approach to cultivating self-love and acceptance. By engaging in this type of exercise, we can confront and challenge our negative self-perceptions. We can develop greater self-awareness and foster a deeper sense of self-compassion. Self-awareness and foster a deeper sense of self-compassion. Mirror work involves looking into the mirror and affirming positive qualities, practicing self-compassionate self-talk and embracing one's authentic self. Through consistent practice, mirror work can help individuals break free from the cycle of self-doubt and criticism, leading to greater self-love and acceptance.

Speaker 1 16:25

As I mentioned at the start of this episode, the technique of mirror work can create some stress, some uncomfortable feelings, even panic. This is normal. As Louise puts it, the mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.

Speaker 1 16:58

So mirror exercises are utilized in therapy and self-help for various reasons, including number one self-reflection and self-awareness. Mirrors provide a tangible reflection of oneself, allowing you to observe obviously your physical appearance, your body language and your facial expressions. This self-reflection can increase self-awareness and deeper understanding of your thoughts, your emotions and your behaviors. Number two mirror work promotes self-love and acceptance. By engaging in mirror exercises, you can practice self-compassion, self-acceptance and self-love. Looking into the mirror and speaking affirmations or words of kindness to oneself can help counter negative self-talk and cultivate a more positive self-image.

Speaker 1 17:55

Number three healing emotional wounds. So mirror work can be a powerful tool for healing emotional wounds and addressing past traumas. By confronting oneself in the mirror and acknowledging painful emotions or experiences, individuals can begin the process of emotional healing and release. Number four building confidence and self-esteem. Regular practice of mirror exercises can boost your confidence and your self-esteem by reinforcing positive self-perceptions and celebrating personal strengths and achievements. Affirmations and positive statements spoken out loud in front of the mirror can affirm your worth and your capabilities.

Speaker 1 18:46

5. Changing negative beliefs. Mirror work can challenge and reframe negative beliefs and cognitive distortions about yourself. By consciously choosing to focus on positive attributes and affirmations, individuals can shift their mindset and cultivate a more empowering self-narrative. And number six enhancing body image. For individuals struggling with body image issues or distorted eating patterns, mirror exercises can promote body acceptance and appreciation. Encouraging individuals to focus on the functionality and strength of their bodies rather than solely on appearance can foster a healthier relationship with one's body and a deeper appreciation for what it does for you.

Speaker 1 19:39

Okay, for the rest of this episode, we are going to engage with our bodies in a way that, like I said, may make you feel very uncomfortable. It might make you feel unsafe or scared, or angry or a variety of other feelings. I'm asking you now to trust me and don't worry, we're going to do this together. The reason it may be confronting is that most of us don't spend all that long looking at ourselves really looking at ourselves. Now, maybe you can look at yourself in the mirror and get all the good feels. If so, this exercise will strengthen your self-love. For others of us, this is probably not going to be too much fun the first few times. In fact, you might downright hate it, and that's okay. It's pretty normal. I'm right here with you. We're going to do this together.

Speaker 1 20:36

So originally, I considered walking you through this process by doing a mirror talk exercise in this episode. I decided against this idea in the end because I want this to be something you experience for yourself, not experiencing it via me. I felt like sharing my own practice with you might distract or take you away from trying it. If, however, that is something you'd like to hear or think would be helpful, I'm pretty open to making that happen. Let me know via a DM or on our Facebook page and I can record that as a future bonus episode.

Speaker 1 21:15

To illustrate the process of mirror work, I'm going to walk you through a practical example. Now. This is my take on it, and you can choose to follow this example or modify it to suit what feels right for you. You're going to need to get the following four things A mirror, a pen and paper, time and, most importantly of all, the willingness to open up to yourself, even when it feels awkward and uncomfortable. I want you to begin by finding a quiet and comfortable space where you can be alone. For me, this is usually my bathroom, because bathrooms generally have a mirror and I can run the water to drown out any crying that might happen, and I can run the water to drown out any crying that might happen. It's also the space where I have a whole bunch of my affirmations written on post-it notes, which are useful sometimes to get you started. You might find that sitting in your car works as a better space for you, or in your bedroom.

Speaker 1 22:17

Once you've found your space, I want you to stand or sit in front of of the mirror and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. I want you now to look at yourself. Stop and look at yourself in the eyes. Hold your gaze. What's your first thought? The second, third, fourth, take a moment to write them and any feelings connected to your thoughts down now. No censorship, no thinking about the thought or feeling. Just note them down. Pause the episode here if you need to, and take as much time as you need to, get out all the stuff that might have just come up for you in those few moments.

Speaker 1 23:14

Okay, now that we've written down our initial thoughts and feelings after our first look, I want you to take another couple of deep breaths to recenter yourself. In this next step. We are going to ignore all the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that come up and fill ourselves up with love. Instead, If you find yourself coming back to thoughts or feelings that don't feel good or safe or kind, you can quickly write them down and then come back to a place of quiet, gently gaze into your own eyes and speak words of kindness and affirmation out loud, affirm your worth, express gratitude for your unique qualities and acknowledge your strengths and achievements. You can use the following affirmations to help you get started if you can't come up with any of your own, I promise, the more you do this, the easier it will become and you'll find yourself speaking your own affirmations that you need for your life. For now, here are a few affirmations to use right here, right now.

Embracing Self-Love Through Mirror Work

Speaker 1 24:32

I love who I am. I am patient with myself. I am enough. I accept myself for who I am. I deserve good things like happiness and joy. I release the need to judge myself or others. I believe in myself. Everything I ever want to be is already within me. I do not have to earn my self-worth. It is there simply because I am. I am worthy, whole and complete as I am. I am compassionate and loving towards myself. I release myself from all things that do not serve me myself. From all things that do not serve me. I am beautiful. I am loved. I choose to speak lovingly over myself. I can manifest joy and healing. I release the need to judge myself negatively. I am worthy of love. I already have everything I need within me.

Speaker 1 26:43

Allow yourself to embrace vulnerability and authenticity as you engage in this practice. Repeat this exercise regularly into the mirror as you speak these words over your life and into your life, to cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance. Louise says the more you use mirrors for complimenting yourself, approving of yourself and supporting yourself during difficult times, the deeper and more enjoyable your relationship with yourself will be. I know for myself. Mirror work and affirmations have really helped me in my dark moments, and I do this as a daily practice and multiple times a day when the going is feeling really tough. It has helped to settle my mind, stop the lies I have been habitually telling myself on my mind, stop the lies I have been habitually telling myself, and it brings me a sense of peace where otherwise I'd probably escalate into an anxiety attack. Mirror work offers a profound journey of self-discovery and empowerment, allowing you to confront your innermost fears and your insecurities with compassion and courage. I invite you to embark on this journey of self-exploration and share your experiences in the Reverse Reset Restore Facebook page.

Speaker 1 28:09

Watch out for the bonus episode, mirror Magic Empowering Self-Love-love with affirmations, which is a longer version of the affirmations that are we shared here and you can follow along with this while you're forming this practice. That will be available as a podcast episode as well as a longer video up on our youtube channel. As always, we end this episode with a quote and this comes from new thought author don miguel ruiz, and it forced me to reassess the way I used to view myself in the mirror. Perhaps it will do the same for you when you look at yourself in a mirror, do you like what you see, or do you judge your body and use the word to tell yourself lies? If you believe that you are not attractive enough, then you believe a lie and you are using the word against yourself, against the truth. Thank you.