How Confident Are You Really? | Stories of Growth and Courage

What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in embracing your insecurities and becoming more confident? Join us for this episode of New Horizons, where we unravel the complexities of self-confidence and self-identity with Brian and Shawna Curee, also known as Mr. and Mrs.KillerB in the Metaverse. Shawna's candid narration of her unexpected insecurities challenges the myth that self-assured individuals never struggle. Through a conversation Shawna had with her close friends, to a humorous story Brian shares involving the ever-confident Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), we'll discuss what confidence looks like, the positives, and the risks.

Faith and community play pivotal roles in the journey to confidence as Brian and Shawna reveal the shifts in their internal dialogues from negative self-talk to affirming faith-based positivity. Listen to how external voices and past experiences can shape self-esteem and why it is crucial to consciously counter these influences to maintain confidence.

Finally, discover the often-overlooked power of community support and authentic connections. From JenSmash taking a national stage advocating for amputees, to a youth pastor finding his balance between confidence and humility, this episode underscores the importance of stepping into one's purpose. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, our discussions affirm that self-awareness and intentional growth are key to building lasting confidence. Tune in for an episode rich with personal stories, practical insights, and a reminder that everyone has a unique purpose waiting to be embraced.

👋 If you enjoyed today's episode and want to support what we do, consider buying us a coffee. Every little bit helps keep the show going and is greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening, and God bless! Smash the support link below.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

I've always felt like I had good self-confidence and that I was, you know, not too worried about what other people thought about me and things like that. And just more recently, within the last year or so, I've struggled a little bit more with insecurity, with questioning my worth, with questioning my purpose. I am a confident person, but lately I have been struggling a little more. I don't want to be arrogant, but I do want to have a quiet confidence.

Speaker 2: 0:30

Welcome to the New Horizons podcast. I'm Brian Curie.

Speaker 1: 0:34

And I'm Shauna Curie, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer Bee, in virtual reality. So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse at the Killer Bee Studios where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse at the Kilder Beach Studios, where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse can offer.

Speaker 2: 0:48

With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's episode. Tonight, our topic is going to be how confident are you? And it's really. How confident are you really? So I'm going to ask you guys this by throwing some confetti, let me know who in the audience here would say that you've struggled with confidence before. How many of you have ever bought or picked up one of those or went to the library and got one of those self-help books? I've, I've done that, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. So I'll tell you a secret. I've learned Sometimes self can't help self. But we're excited to have this talk tonight. Me and Mrs Killer Bee was talking about some things and actually won't you go ahead, mrs Killer Bee, would you like to share for everybody how this topic came up?

Speaker 1: 1:36

Yeah, I would.

Speaker 1: 1:37

So I was having I went on a girl's trip with two of my closest friends from Ohio, two of my oldest friends as well, and we were just having a lot of conversations about kind of learning who you are and kind of stepping into your purpose and we've talked, you know, in general a lot about our past and things that have happened and also things that are changing like as we're getting older.

Speaker 1: 2:10

You know, two of us are in our forties, one of them is getting closer to the forties and, you know, things start changing. What is surprising to me is there are times where I feel more insecure than I used to Like. I've always felt like I had good self-confidence and that I was, you know, not too worried about what other people thought about me and things like that. And just more recently, within the last year or so, I've struggled a little bit more with insecurity, with questioning my worth, with questioning my purpose, things like that, with questioning my worth, with questioning my purpose, things like that. And so, as we're kind of talking through some of these things, I said, you know I am a confident person, but lately I have been struggling a little more.

Speaker 2: 2:55

When I think of confidence, I think of Dwayne Johnson.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Oh, I like that.

Speaker 2: 3:00

He's very confident in what he does, and if you've ever seen him in person, has anybody ever seen him in person before Dwayne Johnson?

Speaker 1: 3:07

I can say yes.

Speaker 2: 3:09

We can say yes, you guys want to hear a quick little story? There's this little diner that people told us was really good. We went there and ate and this time, when we were there, there was this person sitting right behind me and he had his hat tipped down and the lady that was sitting with them, and I think they had like a little, a little child with them too. They were all back there and they, they all had hats and like kind of leaned down and the waitress. Whenever we get up, you had to walk to the bathroom, you had to go by them. Well, they would purposely like circle us around the restroom like steer us around.

Speaker 2: 3:38

And I came back out and I'm like man, that guy must be a jerk, like he even like let his girlfriend or wife or whoever this is, want to even look at anybody. But then I saw his arms and I'm like I'm not saying nothing to this guy. He would snap me like a twig and I sat back down. I mean huge. And I sat back down and he's like right behind me and we talked and then once he left, he went out the back like the back doors, they all did. The waitress came out and said you guys won't believe, do you guys know who that was right behind you? And we're like, no, I'm thinking some jerk. She showed us a picture. She's like that was Dwayne Johnson, the rock. I was like oh my gosh, I could smell what the rock was eating right behind me. It was amazing. But that's basically it. But no, when I think confidence, you like, I'm like you seem like a really confident person. All right, that's what I like, a visual of it.

Speaker 1: 4:29

But interesting thing to think about there is, you know, when you learn about his life. He had a lot of failures and so yeah, that's so true. Interesting thing.

Speaker 2: 4:39

Well, okay, Mrs Killer B. As Okay, Mrs Killer Bee, as we go back into how this topic came up. You said you looked at yourself as being a confident person, correct? Yes, Okay, so tell us. Share with us what happened, like what happened next, in your guys' conversation.

Speaker 1: 4:54

Okay. So when I said that my one friend in particular she said that I did not seem like a confident person to her she didn't think I seemed confident. So that surprised me. But you know, in part I think it's because, you know, you have different relationships with different people and part of our dynamic is we talk through our past and stuff like that, and so that was what she specifically said is some things that she felt like I put up with in my past showed her that I didn't have the self-confidence to stop those things.

Speaker 2: 5:30

So this is what interesting on the conversation. This is where we stopped, cause like, hey, let's bring this into the studios, talk about this during new horizons. Cause I think, as we all seen, everybody was throwing confetti that they've struggled with confidence. But I would like to ask you when this came up and they kind of acknowledged that they didn't see you as a confident person, how did that make you feel and did it affect your confidence at that moment? Did it start changing a little bit because of what maybe your friends say?

Speaker 1: 5:58

No, it actually didn't make me feel less confident. It didn't. What it made me think specifically was she just doesn't know. That part of me, like. What she said didn't make me doubt myself, because I know myself better than she knows me and I thought well, you just don't know me that. Well then, do you?

Speaker 2: 6:21

I think that that is beautiful, because I think it even takes a confident person to to receive that that way, because if you're not, I mean we can be. There's different levels of confidence and especially if your friends or family members that are close to you you feel confident but then they doubt your confidence, that can very easily if you're not like understanding, like hey, they don't know the me inside and how I look at things at life all the way and how I handle things, that could affect, I think, your confidence there. Like maybe you're thinking maybe I've made a wrong decision, maybe I'm not as confident as I thought I was.

Speaker 1: 6:57

Yeah, even because I'm not sure how often people really talk to each other about how confident they are.

Speaker 1: 7:07

But I think people in your life can knock on your confidence by doubting that you can do the thing that you feel like you want to do, the thing you were made to do. So if they say you can't do that, you're not good at that, then that can bring down your confidence. And you know my favorite stories to read about people are people who have a vision and they go forward with it, whether everyone says they can't do it or whether everyone says you're not good at that. You know it's. It's fascinating that some people have that drive in themselves to say, despite what everybody says, I know this is what I'm going to do, and they overcome obstacles and they overcome failures. And that's inspiring to me because you know there have been times in the past where someone said you're not good at that and I thought, okay, I'll just move on to something else. And you know who knows what you miss out on if you let other people decide what you are going to do in your life.

Speaker 2: 8:03

Where do you feel like your confidence really started being birthed? Like where do you feel like that starts and I know, I know we've already said like it's kind of grown as we grow as adults in our life? I mean, when I was younger, my confidence is way different than where it is today. So where did that start for you.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Okay, so we'll start with me, but then I want to hear about that with you in your life too. For me, so I did not grow up really in church. My parents weren't believers, but it started with the identity that my parents gave me because I grew up in the generation I was born in 1980. So my parents weren't overly, overly, you know, complimentary. They weren't, you know, telling me like you're amazing, but they had such a quiet confidence in me and they showed me that in little ways, like you know a story that I've been telling a lot lately as I've been talking through these things Because spoiler alert at the end, the whole point of this conversation for me is to find the balance between confidence and humility, to understand that I don't want to be arrogant, but I do want to have a quiet confidence. So I just want to put that out there real quick.

Speaker 1: 9:22

But my dad, I remember this specific time when I was having trouble with this big like, imagine like a big 1980s like receiver, a radio, you know, and I was having trouble with it. I couldn't get it to work. I got real mad. I went into my dad and I was like, oh, I can't fix this thing, it's broken and I can't fix it. And he just said very calmly I've never heard you say you can't do anything. And it kind of took me aback.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Even at that young age I thought to myself he thinks I can do anything. So I went up and fixed it. I just did it because that's all I needed. Apparently. It was just like a little boost to say, well, if he thinks I can do it, I can. That's kind of how my parents raised me and my siblings and as I look back, I just grew up with a confidence that I could do what I put my mind to. And so that's where it started for me. Do you want to talk about, like your confidence, how you think it started, and then we can kind of talk about as we've gotten older.

Speaker 2: 10:50

Yeah, I definitely would like to share that Because I mean, if a lot of people knew me when I was younger, they probably would think maybe I was a confident person, because I was always kind of like that, I guess, like that black sheep, like don't tell me I can't do that, and I would do it, you know. But I don't know if that was a healthy confidence either. I mean, I guess it wasn't bad, but I wasn't deep inside, I wasn't confident.

Speaker 1: 11:14

If that makes sense You're more so like rebellious.

Speaker 2: 11:18

Don't tell me.

Speaker 1: 11:19

I can't do something, I'll do it.

Speaker 2: 11:27

I'll do it and I'll make it happen. And I've always kind of carried that, which probably helps with where I am as an entrepreneur. I see things not as I can't do but as a challenge how can we do this and accomplish this goal? But I definitely was inside. I was not confident and, to be honest and we haven't talked about this at all Like I think that my confidence really came when you and me got married, because you believed me more than anybody and it wasn't like I had to sell myself to you, like to get you to buy into what I was doing.

Speaker 2: 11:58

It was like no, like you got to know me personally and you believed in me. I mean, mrs Killer B talked me into going to college when I was like I was always heard that college wasn't needed and I know we're in a different, different generation now where there's so many opportunities to learn, so college isn't the only option. But back then it was always like you don't need to go to college, you need to go get a factory job. You know stuff like that. And she really encouraged me to go to college for something that I loved and I was like, really, and she's like, yeah, I think you should. So she supported that, did that. You've always been there to encourage me and running the business and the things that we've been doing, so I think that has really helped me.

Speaker 2: 12:38

But what I think what really set me over on the confidence was as, actually, when we really started leaning into our faith more and trusting God, where it really started changing I mean a lot as Christians a lot of verse, like a verse that we probably all if you're a Christian, you probably know this verse. It's common. It's Philippians 4.13. And here's what it says. I just opened up my Bible on my phone. It says for I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Speaker 2: 13:06

But I think where confidence for me really comes through is not just in that verse, but in the verses before. And this is us through walking through our journey, like when I lost my job and couldn't get a job and God was providing and we learned at that time that we didn't have to have all this stuff. We could have very little and live a happy life and actually be even happier. And the verses before that. This is what really helped me in the confidence level with where we are today. It says in verse 11, not that I was ever in need for. I have learned how to be content with whatever I have, and that started helping the confidence side too, because I would feel like I'm a failure because we didn't have certain things.

Speaker 2: 13:51

Then it goes on. It says I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty stomach, with plenty or little, for I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. So that really I feel like really started changing a confidence level, because it wasn't as much about what I did, what I could do, but about it was about my faith. Where I put my faith and being confident even in learning through that journey. As we get older, is there a season that we had very little and some of those seasons were the happiest seasons and it was like, okay, I'm confident and not in my own doings, but in god's plan that's definitely where my confidence grew into a deeper.

Speaker 1: 14:33

You know more um. Maybe a more sustainable thing is when I learned my identity through jesus. Um you learning that it doesn't even come down to what I can or can't do, or the skills I do or don't have. You know what he puts before us he'll equip us for and yeah so that um gives me a lot of confidence to walk through my life too.

Speaker 2: 15:00

Let me ask you this, mrs Killer Bee like what are some of the like, what are some of the I guess positive impacts of being confident? Like maybe that you could see, like what are some of the positives? I know we want to talk about staying humble and all that stuff, so let's talk about some of the, some of the positive impacts that being confident can do.

Speaker 1: 15:18

The two, the two most important things for me that I would not have recognized this had I not gone through these times of insecurity. Because the difference in the way I talk to myself in my head that's the first thing is that when I would start feeling insecure about different things, the things that I was saying to myself were so toxic that it was like I was spiraling and I couldn't get myself out of it. So that was a big difference. That was something that I had not dealt with before. When Mr Killer Beast started learning about your inner voice, like how you talk to yourself, your thought patterns we had a long talk about it and do you want to say what you said to me about?

Speaker 2: 16:10

Yeah, it was really. It's interesting that you even brought this up because, I mean, just recently I was talking about dealing with thoughts that are even coming to my head right now and realizing, like these are strongholds. We can become confident, but we we can still fall backwards and lose some of that confidence if we're not aware of what's going on. So, just like I said, it was like last week I told you I've noticed I've been dealing with these strongholds and I've got to move beyond that and that's spending time with God and praying and realizing who I am, with who he says I am. Now, when you come down to the voices in our head, that sounds kind of creepy, doesn't it? The voices in our head, but we all have everybody has.

Speaker 2: 16:45

We have an inner we all have voices in our head. Anybody here have voices in their head. Let's make me feel really okay.

Speaker 1: 16:51

Yes, all right, all right, cool, all right or at least a voice in your head, a voice in your head, you talk to yourself.

Speaker 2: 16:57

I think that when we talked about that, it was very interesting, because your voice you is always positive and and I told you, like wow, my voice is really really negative. Like'm really, I'm probably my worst critic.

Speaker 1: 17:09

You definitely are your worst critic.

Speaker 2: 17:11

Yeah, and you found that interesting too, that we have these different types of voices, and I also realized that those voices sometimes has its own tone, depending on maybe somebody or something that maybe influenced that, those thoughts.

Speaker 1: 17:25

So yeah, sometimes the influence in your life. Can you hear that over and over over yourself like you know, something negative, that someone spoke over you.

Speaker 2: 17:35

You can continue to hear that throughout your life but, um, I think it's great to bring that up because it's like it's. This is a good thing to talk about, because then we know we're not alone in this. We're all. We all are going through our own unique journeys and we all have and deal with these things. So it's great to talk about it because it lets us all realize we're not alone in this and we're a lot more. We're all a lot more alike than we probably realize. I think I saw. I think, textpap, did you have something you wanted to share about? Yeah, you want to bring up the mic, arcane, if you want to come up, yeah, share us, like what is a positive impact that comes to your mind for being confident.

Speaker 3: 18:10

So I was going to come up earlier, but I'm not very confident, and that's not a joke, that's really the truth.

Speaker 3: 18:17

But I realize, of course, most everybody here knows who I am and what I've done and what I do, and a while back I'm probably when I first started ministering, uh, I didn't feel equipped, I didn't feel I was the right person, I didn't feel I spoke eloquently enough and I started realizing that, you know, god is a source. If he's giving me the purpose, then he'd be, he'd be a liar and crazy not to see his own purpose through right. So I, so I started relying on him and what I realized is that and I'm still very reserved, I'm still very shy, I'm still very questioning my own abilities, but when I turn it over to him, I get that boldness. And I've gone back and listened to my own messages and go, wow, did I really say that? Well, no, the Lord said it through me, but that's the thing he equipped me. But what I've learned is my takeaway. The positive of this is people, naturally, are drawn to confidence.

Speaker 3: 19:16

If you're confident people are drawn to you and fortunate for me that I'm not a confident person. But because his confidence gets to shine through me, then people will listen to what I have to say, even when sometimes I don't listen to myself, to what I have to say, because it's like, oh no, that can't be. Thanks, tex. Thanks for sharing that.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Hi Jen Smash, how are you?

Speaker 4: 19:41

Great great. I want to say you guys gave me the confidence, especially you, Killer B. You introduced me to my first amputee person in here.

Speaker 3: 19:52

I am a double amputee.

Speaker 4: 19:54

So Jeff Lacey, if you can remember, gave me the confidence to really figure out yeah, I think I need to build a world for amputees in here. So I went a little further with my confidence and I started putting myself in the position and showing some reels of me in the metaverse as an amputee and how it changed my life.

Speaker 4: 20:23

It got all the way to the National Amputee Coalition. I had a meeting today and this is why I came to see you. The National Coalition is actually watching me and would like to put me on their national stage. I have to do some work and stuff, so it's all to you guys.

Speaker 3: 20:42

Oh man, that's amazing. And you?

Speaker 4: 20:43

gave me the confidence that I can do and change a person with an amputee life in the metaverse and I want to say thank you guys for the love and support and, yes, you guys gave me confidence and because of you I'm doing this, so thank you so much. Is that incredible?

Speaker 1: 21:01

I'm speechless and I'm crying inside my headset. That is so beautiful.

Speaker 2: 21:08

I love that. I love that. I love that. This is why it's so important to step out Like I feel, like you know we're all have. We all should be confident and and you're going to grow in that and it's not easy, but there's a reason. You have a purpose for why you're here, so don't ever neglect that. Lean into people that want to support you and be with that. Thank you, jen, so much for sharing that. I'm so honored to even to be a part of that so humble yeah, that's amazing let's hear your question come on up will you tell us?

Speaker 5: 21:37

how to pronounce your name yeah, it's vargas I would have never got that yeah, no, normally vargas is not spelled that way, it's v-a-r-g-a-s, but yeah, yeah that's kind of the cooler way, I guess.

Speaker 2: 21:48

I mean, I can't pronounce anybody's name. The only way I got hers is because I'm actually the one that made it so well.

Speaker 5: 21:56

Thanks for joining us, I'm still new to this group, so yeah, oh yeah, well, hey, we're here. Welcome.

Speaker 4: 22:02

We love that you're here.

Speaker 2: 22:03

We've not been here for three months and now we'll be here every Thursday, so we're kind of new to kind of like.

Speaker 5: 22:09

I was kind of like what Texas Pats was was talking about too in a way. I recently, not too long ago became a youth pastor and so it's all like it's, definitely it's. I've been a youth leader for like years but like actually stepping into a role of a youth pastor, it's actually a little bit different than just being a youth leader.

Speaker 5: 22:37

And you do a little bit more than what you normally do as a youth leader. Me I do struggle with. Am I like what he was saying? Like, am I, am I speaking the right words out, you know? Or is anybody getting what I'm saying? Is it, is it penetrating hearts, you know? And I also like I guess I don't know if this just kind of I don't, I don't want to go off topic, but like also like the difference between, difference between being confident and not being prideful, I guess, if that makes sense.

Speaker 5: 23:15

And so I mean, I guess that's something that I kind of battle with, like, am I being prideful or am I being confident, you know? And that's kind of one of the things that I like I kind of question a lot about myself, like the whole inner, inner voice thing talking to you like like, oh well, you're being too prideful right now, but I'm like, well, am I, though? I mean like I don't know if I am or not. I don't feel like I am. I don't want to be obviously Um, but also just like being able to like um. Like, for instance, I don't want to take up too much time, but just to share just to share just a little little bit of a story.

Speaker 5: 23:51

I Uber sometimes to make extra income and I was. I ended up picking up a couple of teens that just got off of work, right, and on my profile I put, you know, I put I can rap but I can't freestyle. And then I put I love the Kansas City Chiefs, and then I also put youth pastor, right, and I didn't think anybody. You know, I don't think I'm like in my mind, I'm like nobody looks at your profiles right, just like they want to drive or boom, pick me up, take me home, you know.

Speaker 5: 24:25

And so it was just cool, cause the first thing that they did, cause I haven't made a song in like three years, and so what they did was like the first thing they did. They came in and they're like hey, wrap something for me, and it like threw me on the spot, so I'm like my heart my heart started pounding.

Speaker 5: 24:42

Like Whoa hold on guys, and even the guy that was in, uh, like there was a girl in the, in a guy, and he was like he's, like, he said he can't freestyle, right. And so I was like, well, I said, I have, I have some songs that I can show you. And like I ended up showing them the songs and it was just like how like they were, just like wow, they were just blowing away, right. And so I'm like, I'm like in my mind, I'm thinking yeah, it's your inner voice, right.

Speaker 5: 25:14

And so my inner voice is telling me I mean, you're not that good. But then I always get people telling me like you really can do that, like you don't know how good you are, and I'm just like okay, cool, you know, it kind of does build compliments, because I'm like after that, it just like made my night and I'm like wow, wow, god. You know, people think that I do a good job and I'm thinking to myself I'm like I don't do a very good job, you know. So I don't know. It was just a little, a little little story of like being like it helped me build my confidence. Knowing like random strangers are like whoa, wow, you sound really good, and I'm thinking do I really sound good? But then it's like that confidence is like okay, I do sound good.

Speaker 1: 26:00

I just need to believe myself a little bit more. You know, this is the thing I want to give you some confidence too, or at least pass on this source of confidence. I have found that when you take the time to submit yourself to the Lord, like take some time to pray before you're going to speak, even before you're going to have a conversation with somebody, even if it seems to you like what you have said is complete nonsense, it's unbelievable what God does through those things. And what popped into my brain or talking, was, you know, the Asbury revival. Do you know how it started? By any chance, okay, so it was just a normal chapel service and the guy was a guest speaker and he went up and talked and he felt like he completely bombed. But at the end he just felt like the Lord wanted him to say you can't do ministry until you are in love with Jesus. So if you do not feel like you are in love with Jesus, then I would just encourage you to come, pray and talk to him and go forward out of your ministry from that place.

Speaker 1: 27:04

And that started the revival. And it's amazing to me to think that when God has something for you to do, he will make that thing happen if you are submitted to him. And it does not matter what you say, it doesn't matter if you think you are bumbling and I feel like that all the time because you know I get excited, I start babbling. Just beautiful things happen when you just submit yourself to the Lord and realize that nothing that's happening is from your own strength anyhow. So you can't mess it up, you can't make it happen, you can just be you, and that's who God made you to be.

Speaker 5: 27:39

Um, it's really, uh, yeah, it's really a powerful thing and absolutely I mean it does. I mean that's exactly like everything you just said, like it's true.

Speaker 5: 27:48

Um, I, I don't completely, I mean myself, I don't completely always be like oh, I'm not confident, but like when stuff does happen, I'm just like it reassures me like you are doing the right things, you know you are saying the right things, you know, just, and it's like God reassure me, like be confident in who you are, in me, you know and so, amen, your wrapping was given to you, your gift of wrapping was given to you to reach specific people, so don't dampen that life.

Speaker 2: 28:19

If you want to know if you're good, let me rap for you in a little bit and then you'll be like, oh okay.

Speaker 5: 28:24

I got it. Yes, scott, thank you for giving me that gift.

Speaker 2: 28:26

You obviously did not give Mr Killer Bee that at all, that's true, no it's true, thank you Thank you for sharing that.

Speaker 3: 28:36

It's awesome. So what's interesting?

Speaker 2: 28:37

about that is. I love that, even here at the studio you know our studio this is something I think I would encourage us all to kind of soak in for a minute. Really, like, we all have purposes in our life and sometimes and sometimes we get some things wrong. So sure, you know, like, even in our company we have a purpose statement, and even here in the studio we have a purpose. Our purpose in the back says to connect, share, transform. Now let me clarify something that we've learned, and you might find this helpful too, as a new youth pastor.

Speaker 2: 29:09

Our focus here is to connect with people. Connect to people just like you, from all around the world. This is a great technology that we can use to connect to people, and we do that all to have an opportunity to share our life experiences, like we're doing right now. This is a conversation that we were having in our living room and we're like, hey, let's go and talk about this and share this with other people, because we're probably not alone going through this and we have opportunities to share those life experiences. Sometimes it opens up a door that we can share our God experiences to what God is teaching us, and we know there's people in here. That's not Christians, that's totally fine. We all have different experiences to come and talk and share Our life experiences. All can cross over and we can learn from each other.

Speaker 2: 29:49

But well, the last thing was transformation. The one thing I had to realize is transformation that's what we love to see, but that's not on us. The one thing I had to realize is transformation that's what we love to see, but that's not on us. That's not on us. That's God to do. That's between those individuals and God. Whatever's going on in our life, we cannot transform people, and that gave me a lot of relief, especially as a speaker. To go and speak at churches and stuff. I don't think about that anymore because it's like God only thing.

Speaker 2: 30:20

I dealt with that a long time ago. I did not expect to share this, but years ago I felt like you know, I was supposed to preach and I for a long time said God, I can't do this. I have done so many things wrong and I had done a lot. And when I was praying, here's what I heard God tell me All I want you to do is tell your story, that's it. You're a storyteller and I'm like I can do that. I've got experiences with being called a preacher or anything like that. That just didn't set right for me. I had hurts and stuff and when God told me, I just want you to be a storyteller, just share your story, share what I've done in your life, and I learned that if I approach it from that side, I don't have to feel confident about anything because it's my story, it's what God has given me, it's my experiences. I'm just sharing it and sharing what God has shown me to get through that and then I let God do the rest. So I take that pressure all off of me. But we can do that in so many areas of our life and that's when the confidence starts changing, because it's not confidence in me, it's confidence that I know I'm obeying and letting God do the rest and it changes. It's changed our life. The one of the things I think of like when it like a positive impact from being more confident it would be I think it helps us make better decisions, not afraid to make decisions and step out, but also can help even strengthen our relationships too.

Speaker 2: 31:37

Someone I met just at a conference was all dressed up, all spiffy, had like a sports jacket on, and he seen me that day that I was dressed up. There was one day that I was dressed up pretty nice. I think I might've saw you that day. Don had a nice white dress shirt on like no tie I don't do ties, but I had that and some black jeans kind of like what I have on right now, basically Actually, yeah, but I had that and some black jeans kind of like what I have on right now, basically yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:57

And uh, the this person sat down with me and he said he said I can tell like you're, so I can tell you're confident. I was like why is that? He's like it takes confidence to dress up like this and put yourself out there. I'm like actually I asked Shauna, mrs Killer Bee, do you think this looks all right? That's all I was going for. I was like I don't want to. It didn't really affect my confidence, but some people feel like they dress for success and stuff like that and I'm like that's awesome.

Speaker 1: 32:24

I was like but this is about a dress, she's like yeah, the funny. Thing is you usually dress so casually that I think that takes more confidence. Like you know, he's going around to meetings in his shorts and flip flops and I'm like see he knows who he is and what he's got to offer. Like that's what he wears.

Speaker 2: 32:39

It was totally different this time. I was like I want to wear a nice shirt and jeans and it wasn't. It wasn't to say anything, I just wanted. I just felt like I wanted to dress up for the occasion and I was not confident at all. That's why I kept asking you and you gave me that confidence and you said, babe, you look hot, you should go out there. I was like, oh thanks, it's not exactly what you said, but that's the way I heard it.

Speaker 2: 32:59

That was a great inner voice that was three years only let's uh, before we wrap up, I do want to ask, like, what do you think? Do you think or what do you think are some of the risk of becoming overconfident? I know, uh, vr was already touching on that a little bit about pride, vargas. So yeah, vargas. Yes, see, I just choose the first two letters YV, pi, ch. Do D what do you think are some of the risks of being overconfident, like pride and stuff?

Speaker 1: 33:33

Well, I think yeah, pride and arrogance and separating yourself from people is what I think is the biggest risk, Because I know that when people make me feel like it doesn't matter what I have to say, they're not going to listen to me, no matter what, then I feel separated from them, like we're not in this together, you know. So I think that's the biggest risk, because connection is so important to me. You know so, when people act like you know, I got this all figured out and I don't need anybody, then it's hard to connect with them.

Speaker 2: 34:08

That's so true, and we weren't created to do this stuff alone, and I think it's. You know, that's interesting too, because I felt like both know connection, we love connection, and I notice there's people that are what do you call them? They said extroverts and introverts, and sometimes introverts don't like to be around the crowd, which we get, that too. But I think, even as introverts, you probably do. You have any introverts here in the house, here in the studio? Okay, yeah, now, you guys probably all. Let me know if I'm right here by throwing some confetti. But how many of you introverts? Okay, let me see the introverts again. Let me see One, two, three, four. We have four. Okay, five, okay. So let me ask you this All our introverts here? Do you guys all have a close group of friends that you feel like you can share things with? Hey, throw some confetti, I see, okay.

Speaker 4: 34:55

All right.

Speaker 2: 34:55

All right, yeah, okay, it looks like. It looks like all of them. That's the beautiful thing, I think. I think, as introverts we even have, we have people that we connect with. Connection is so important, and I think that those connections actually help us build our confidence too, and I think it's that's an important piece of it so. I think that even being willing to ask yourself am I being prideful, that's showing something.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Probably not yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:21

You're probably not, you're aware of say not that you might not be heading down that route, but you're aware of it and you're asking questions and I think that's where I started heading down it and me Mrs Killery talked about it and that's the great thing is, you're you're growing, and we all do that, and it changes in the seasons we're in. I want to encourage you guys, like you know, confidence, when you think of confidence, confidence is not about being fearless. It's not about being fearless and that's something I I think I struggle with for a long time. When you feel like you're afraid, it doesn't have to do with being fearless. It doesn't. It doesn being fearless. It doesn't always mean that you have the right answers either. That's not confidence. It grows, as we were talking about.

Speaker 2: 36:02

Confidence grows as we become more aware, aware of who we are, who you are. For me, as a Christian we've already been talking about this For me, as a Christian, when I think about confidence, I've become more aware of who I am, because I've been growing to understand how God has uniquely created me and how much he loves me. But that's a growth that takes time and, just like building any kind of relationship with even a person here. It's not easy and it takes that intention being intentional about that growth. So I want to encourage you guys if you're struggling with confidence, if you're struggling with it we all have those seasons where we're not struggling with it and sometimes it kind of creeps back in If you're struggling I want to encourage you to seek God out more, even if you're not a Christian like you're like I don't know about this God thing.

Speaker 2: 36:58

That's fine. Ask him. Ask him to help you see who he is and how he sees you, so you can embrace that worth and purpose that God has for you, because each one of us here has a unique purpose. So I want to encourage you to do that. We love that everybody came out. Thank you, mrs Kilby, for bringing us such a great topic and being open to talk about this. No-transcript.