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Text Brian & Shawna (Fan Mail)
Ways to Join Us LIVE 👇
Live shows are on Thursdays at 8pm EST (unless it's a holiday or fifth Thursday of the month)
Affiliate links are used when possible to help support this podcast.
If anybody out there has ever struggled with an addiction or with a secret. There comes a point where it feels like you've passed the point of no return. It's like for a while you're like I can get away with this. And you're like wait a second. And you keep trying and keep failing. And then it's been so long that you think to yourself I can't ask for help now because I've been doing this for so long. The hardest thing was to tell my wife, because she didn't know that I had this problem.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the New Horizons podcast. I'm Brian Curee.
Speaker 3:And I'm Shawna Curee, also known as Mr and Mrs Killer B, in virtual reality. So this podcast is recorded live from the metaverse at the Killer Bee Studios where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse at the Killer Bee Studios, where real life stories and God experiences are shared in a way only the metaverse can offer.
Speaker 2:With that, let's go ahead and dive in to today's episode. We have a guest tonight joining us. His name is Josh Wilson and he's going to share his story and perform live afterwards. How many of you would say that you've faced a giant in your life at some point? Throw some confetti if you can say I have faced a giant, okay, yes, have you faced any giants? If so, what would be one of the giants you've faced in your life?
Speaker 3:Yeah, several, but I guess I would say the biggest is loss Loss of family members, loss of the baby. So, yeah, I would say that that's probably my biggest. What about you?
Speaker 2:I would say probably one of the things that we just talked about recently last time we were in here was talking about confidence. So I would say that for me, but I wanted to. As I was talking to Josh about what he was going to come share tonight, I was trying to think of how to start this and it really settled with giants. And I wanted to start there because how many of you have ever heard of Louis Giglio? Anybody here know Louis Giglio? Yeah, okay, yeah, okay. I see some of you have Okay, cool. So I want to read something to you because I started doing a actually, I just finished it. There's a Bible story devotion on the YouVersion app. I'm going to read a little bit to you guys because this is what opened my eyes to some other things about giants that sometimes giants can be disguised as something that maybe we would never consider to be a giant in our life. And I wanted to talk about this at first, before we brought up Josh, because I know he's going to come and share about his giant and there's probably a lot of people here that can relate to it. I know I can in different ways, but I want to let him share that, but during this devotion time I read this one day and he pointed out this this is what really. I wrote this down because I'm like, wait a minute, giants might be disguised as something that we don't recognize as a giant and I wanted to share that so we can all be aware of this as we go in this discussion.
Speaker 2:If you want to check out the devotion, just open up the YouVersion, the Bible app, and just look up. It's called Goliath Must Fall. Goliath Must Fall. But here you guys cool if I read this for just a second, for you guys can hear what he says about this. Okay, cool, here's what he says. He says it may seem odd to think of comfort as a giant, and I was like whoa, wait a minute here. I never thought of comfort as a giant, he said, as something that taunts us or hurts our lives. It's hard to think of comfort as something like that. That's something that's going to taunt us and hurt our lives.
Speaker 2:But we all desire to provide a safe environment for our family. We like to kick back at the end of the day with our shoes up and watch our favorite TV show. We like things to be orderly in our lives, not chaotic. I mean, I don't know if anybody else can relate to this. Right now I'm like, yeah, I like to go kick my feet up and sit back and watch Probably binge watch way too many shows, but I don't know if anybody else. Anybody else here, throw some confetti if you can. Yeah, okay, you can relate. Yep. He said we all want to do that. We like things to be orderly in our lives, not chaotic. None of these things are deadly in and of themselves. The trouble only arises when the desire for safety and security becomes the dominant theme of our lives.
Speaker 2:He pointed out the story about the Israelites. He said the Israelites used their battle cry every day when Goliath was there taunting. They would go out and use their battle cry every day. They would get suited up and they went to the front lines and they knew that they had God on their side. But then Goliath would come out each morning and the Israelites would say, no, not today, that's, that's too dangerous. And they would run back, stay in their tents where it was safe. Have you ever thought of that before as comfort, as a giant?
Speaker 3:I guess I've never really had the terminology of giant, like when I'm thinking through, you know, like spiritual things, but I've definitely noticed the danger of comfort, because I think that's something that I can fall into wanting to be comfortable, wanting to be, you know, have the things I love around me and things like that and I've definitely noticed that as a danger to like not want to get out of my comfort zone. So in that way I think I've recognized it. But yeah, this is all new to me, kind of this giant terminology. Yeah, it's powerful.
Speaker 2:It was new to me too and I wanted to share it because I know, since Josh is going to come out and share his story and his giant that he faced, you might have a giant in your life that you're not realizing is there and that's okay. I think that's what even this I'm learning here, like wow, I could see how that could be a giant, but I never put that together before. But what I want to do before I bring out josh is I do want to say one more thing about something that I learned in my life, and it's always been something there to remind me. You know there's times that we go in our life that are struggles, and you know we go through seasons that aren't good, that aren't fun. There was something I was praying for God because I was struggling in a time in my life that I needed to be reminded that God was there, because I felt like I'm going through some crap in life and it doesn't feel good and I'm, you know I'm praying God. Why do I have to go through this? How do I get moved beyond this? I'm facing these giants in my life and I'm looking for an answer.
Speaker 2:I was driving on the road and I looked in the mirror and here's what I saw in the mirror. It said objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. And when I saw that, it took me back to the time I was praying for God. Like God, where are you? What's going on? And what he showed me was it's the same way with him. God is closer than we may think, and I know that Josh's story is going to shine some light on that as well for us. We might be going through things that we're ashamed of. We're facing giants and we might be thinking God, where are you? Why am I going through this? But I want to encourage you, if you're going through that, whenever you look in your side mirror and you see that on your side mirror that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear, remember that's the same way about God in your life.
Speaker 2:You guys, we want to definitely reign Josh with some confetti. He's the meta age of two days right now. We did some training with him in here, so let's reign him with confetti. Give him a great Horizon Worlds. Welcome Arkane. Go ahead and cue the guest music and with that, let's go ahead and bring out Josh Wilson. Josh, come on out and we'll see if you've got some better dance moves than I had. Let's see, there he is, josh. Welcome to the Killer Bee Studios. Look at this he did a jump. That's impressive.
Speaker 3:He did a jump and everything yes.
Speaker 5:Awesome Josh. How are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm two days old here, so I'm a wee toddler A wee lad A wee infant.
Speaker 5:A wee lad, but I'm having fun.
Speaker 1:This is really really cool. This is my first time in well really doing any of this stuff, so I'm glad to be here. Thanks everybody for coming.
Speaker 5:Confetti for everybody.
Speaker 1:I do know how to do confetti. You know, what's going to be disappointing is when I get off of here and I go back up to my kitchen with my wife and my son and I throw my arms up in the air and no confetti comes out. I'm going to be very disappointed.
Speaker 3:It's a huge disappointment.
Speaker 1:I need this to be a real-life thing actually.
Speaker 3:Yes, I say that all the time. I need this to be a real life thing actually. Yes, I say that all the time.
Speaker 2:It's actually a real life struggle too, because we've been in meetings and wanted to celebrate things with our clients and we've literally thrown our hands up at times and gone. Oh, that looks really weird, that's amazing. Yeah, because you're so used to it.
Speaker 1:I can't, and then the thumbs up Got it All right Got it I think you can do a heart?
Speaker 2:Oh, you can do a single hand. Oh, that was a heart.
Speaker 1:So you'll find later.
Speaker 3:When you talk to some other people, they get all kinds of interesting things like from different games. I have all the boring ones, but other people look at all these cool things.
Speaker 2:Show us your cool emojis.
Speaker 1:Look, there's a chili pepper, a heart I saw a chili pepper.
Speaker 5:Music Wow.
Speaker 1:You guys are like magicians music wow, you guys are like magicians?
Speaker 2:yes, exactly, cameras I just saw a camera over there and muscles like robot arms, like that was cool.
Speaker 5:Ribs and mic drop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, look, there's do you say ribs? You're making me? Yeah, there's a ribs journey. Drop some ribs there, you go right there boom smoke, yeah, man that's amazing, making me hungry there's some people that's got salt peppers too. That drop salt, I mean people that's listening to the podcast are like what the heck are they talking?
Speaker 3:about right now. You've got to get a headset. Come check it out.
Speaker 2:Or come in on a mobile device. We can send you that. I will let you guys know something before we let Josh introduce himself. If you guys have not checked out the podcast, go check out the podcast. We have a now at the very top of it. You can text us, so send us a text message about questions or thoughts you may have and we might talk about those as well. So, josh, I would love for you to take a lot of people here. Well, there's actually a lot of people that knows Josh, so that's amazing. That's awesome For those of them that do not know who you are or are listening to the podcast, would you take about 30 seconds and just introduce yourself and tell everybody a little bit about yourself?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my name is Josh Wilson and I live in Nashville, tennessee. I grew up in West Texas and I lived here in Nashville for just over 20 years and I'm a singer-songwriter, so I write songs, I record them and then I tour around the country and play my music and just share about the things that have happened in my life and the hope that I've found in Jesus, and I'm so thankful that I get to do that.
Speaker 3:Did you ever have a Texas accent or did you lose it in your 20 years in Tennessee?
Speaker 1:I'm actually really pleased to hear you say that I did, and I thought I think it still comes out and in fact when I'm with my friends and family from Texas it definitely comes out. My wife likes to point that out. She gets a kick out of that, but she's from Tulsa, oklahoma, and she's extremely Southern.
Speaker 3:So she can't make fun of me too much for my accent.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think maybe because I travel around the country. Uh, perhaps it has sort of settled down a little bit yeah, seems like it okay.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm glad you're happy about that where's been?
Speaker 2:what where's where, would you say, your favorite place of travel has been before?
Speaker 1:man. Okay, so I've played in all 50 states and I actually have ranked my states. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head. Yeah, me and my musician friends get bored on the road and so we do things like rank the 50 states.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 1:And I'm not dare going to tell you what's in the bottom 10.
Speaker 3:Oh, you've got to.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not for fear that anyone here is from those places. But I'll tell you my top. Let's see Colorado is up there. Washington State, let's see here. Well, yeah those are a couple. Tennessee, honestly, which is where I live, is beautiful. We have the Smoky Mountains, lots, lots of rolling hills, trees, um, and just beautiful places to hike. I love being outdoors, I love to mountain bike, and so tennessee is really a beautiful place for that, and then also wherever each one of you individually are from is also one of my favorite states let's get some confetti for that.
Speaker 5:Yeah, there you go. I love this guy we're just flor.
Speaker 2:Florida rank on you, is it I need to? Some people it's like no, it's way too hot, but some people.
Speaker 1:I like Florida. It's not an. I don't think it's in my top five. That's the end of the show guys.
Speaker 2:You guys thanks for coming out.
Speaker 5:All right, peace out.
Speaker 2:I do love Florida, I mean top five that's a tall order, you know, but yeah it is. We vacation in florida quite often. I I do think it's too hot to live there, but not too hot to visit. Yeah, yeah, you just gotta jump in the largest human bathtub all the time. That's what you gotta do. You gotta live in there. I do love the ocean uh.
Speaker 3:Arcane has a question yes, arcane so you've played both Alaska and.
Speaker 1:Hawaii yes, actually. So Hawaii I played. It's actually a funny story. Actually, I played in Hawaii because years ago my friend and manager at the time his name was Chris he called me and he said let me back up. I have always been pretty shy about just public speaking. I don't mind sharing my songs and like the stories behind the songs and even something like this. I don't mind. I actually enjoy answering questions and just talking, but like to stand up and to give a speech or even like a sermon.
Speaker 1:that's just not my thing. You know, a lot of us have a fear of public speaking and and that particular scenario is just nightmare fuel for me. But my manager called me. He was like, hey, we have an offer and it's to do a commencement speech for a high school graduation. And I was like absolutely not. And he was like it's in Hawaii. And I said, sign me up. So I anyway I went to Hawaii and I did the speech and I mixed in a couple of songs and it was really fun, but yeah, I got over my fear pretty quick.
Speaker 1:So yes, arcane, that's when I played in Hawaii, and then, about five years ago, I finally got the chance to play in Alaska, which was it was a festival there Beautiful. It was in Ketchikan, which is a cruise ship destination, beautiful place. I actually got to see some whales surfacing in the bay. It was amazing. So yeah, I've played in all 50 states.
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:That's amazing.
Speaker 2:This is great, just to share with you guys how I met Josh.
Speaker 2:I knew who Josh was, obviously because we work in Christian Radio, but I've never really got to sit down with him and got to know him personally. But we have a retreat that we do every year in Idaho and up in the mountains where there's so much snow and it's a beautiful area, and Josh came and we were there too, me and Arcane, so I got to hang out with him, talk to him. We actually all got to experience a once in a lifetime event I guess you would call it that I don't think any of us will ever forget, because when you come down those mountains it's a really long, windy road and there's really nowhere to pull off and stop and take a break, except for the side of a mountain. So how many of us were in that van? Was there one, two, three, four, five, five or six of us? That was in there in that SUV and we all had to go to the bathroom. So we all pulled over on the side of a mountain and we're relieving ourselves as cars drove by, honking and waving at us.
Speaker 5:Well, we're just telling all aren't we? We'll just say guys have this story.
Speaker 3:I could have done without this story.
Speaker 1:Guys have it a lot easier. Yeah, I can't believe you actually told that. You joked about telling it and I was like ha-ha, wouldn't that be funny, he's told it and you just told it.
Speaker 3:So this just in. We go to the bathroom Just between the two of us hold much back. He'll tell anybody anything.
Speaker 2:These people already know we might get some merch made about it. That's not happening.
Speaker 1:I'm out. I'm out on the merch.
Speaker 3:Leave me off the merch. You don't want to be associated with that.
Speaker 2:What really sets you apart? Well, on the side of a mountain once I was with Josh Wilson and we all pulled over. Now have you done that? That was on my bucket list. Next question. Let's move on to that. Josh. Uh, I'm turning this thing off. Turn that mic off.
Speaker 3:Turn that mic off we need to turn this one off so, josh, what was cool was I would love to know.
Speaker 2:Like you know, when we met, we started talking and, uh, I shared about the metaverse, like I kind of you know, I kind of ease that in with some people that we talked to, just to see, hey, maybe they'll be interested to come and share. And you took the bait, he took the bait. Guys, I just started to hook it and start reeling it in. That's right, share with me what came across your mind that made you think, hey, I might want to try this out and check out and see what this is all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I'm typically a fairly early adopter of a lot of different technologies. I love gadgets. But I will say, as far as the VR world goes, I've tried a few headsets and they do give me a bit of a headache, and so I just sort of have played with a few and then put it down, and so I hadn't really dove into this world, but you were telling me about it. I was like so, wait a second? And so I hadn't really dove into this world, but you were telling me about it. I was like so wait a second, people get together in a virtual space and you have avatars and hands and you can throw confetti.
Speaker 1:Actually, at the time I didn't know it, but I thought, yeah, man, and of course you said that you would be able to mail me this headset to kind of join you. So thank you for doing that. I'm going to play with a little longer before I mail it back to you, but yeah, I thought this. This sounded like a really fun way to to share my heart and and also to just kind of learn more about what's going on here. And, man, I'm, I'm in. This is super fun. Ready Player One is actually one of my favorite books.
Speaker 3:Me too yeah books Me too.
Speaker 1:I love that book. It was funny because when I read it I was like they've got to make a movie. And then finally did it. Yes, and the movie's great. But I mean, this is it. We're living it guys, we're doing it Ready for the other one Hopefully not entirely Hopefully not all the actual real world stuff happening that's dangerous. Yeah, just the fun parts.
Speaker 3:Just the fun parts.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me. I have been looking forward to this and I'm glad we're finally here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too. I'm so glad that you stepped up and wanted to experience it. We love giving people that experience.
Speaker 2:One of the things I shared with Josh was the purpose behind the studio is all about bringing in, connecting with people, sharing our real life, our real life stories, and some of people will be sharing their God experiences, like what God's done in their life, and it's all about coming to just to connect, share and then help people like help, help people live a better life Like that could actually transform, or knowing our stories and sharing that can actually help transform other people's lives and where they're at.
Speaker 2:So, josh, as I started off talking about giants, I know that some of the stories that you shared with me that you had some giants or maybe even still have giants today. I mean, I know they creep in, but I know you had some giants in your story that you might want to actually talk about and share, so I want to go ahead and hand it over to you, but as I hand it over, I'd like to ask you to tell us about your giant and what did your giant look like and when did you realize you had a giant Well, all good questions.
Speaker 1:So I mentioned that I have been doing, or I do, music full-time and I've been doing this for a long time, almost 20 years.
Speaker 1:I write songs about faith and following Jesus. And I grew up in the church and I think when I was younger I used to think that following Jesus meant you're supposed to kind of have it all together. You know, wouldn't do things like stop on the side of a beautiful mountain highway and go to the bathroom, things like that. No, I'm just kidding. No, you know, just to kind of follow all the rules and have all the answers to all the questions. And you know, I thought being a Christian meant you're supposed to behave and have it together. But the longer I follow Jesus, the more I realize I don't call myself a Christian because I have it all together. I call myself a Christian because I don't, because I need somebody to hold me together, and that's Jesus. And you know Jesus himself said in this world you will have troubles, but I love what he said. Next he said but take heart, for I have overcome this world. And so I've been a Christian for most of my life.
Speaker 1:I grew up in the church, my dad's a pastor and I've been traveling on the road singing about my faith in Jesus for years and years. But I think we maybe face different giants at different times. And I struggle and have for a long time with anxiety. As a kid it was social anxiety. I didn't want to go to school, it was being around people. It was a long time with anxiety as a kid. It was social anxiety. I didn't want to go to school, it was being around people, it was a lot of different things. And then on into my adulthood, yeah, those anxieties changed but the feeling of anxiety in my mind and in my body remained, and I actually, I think for a while.
Speaker 1:Well, this will get now to the giant that I abused alcohol and I drank to excess and I think I used it to quiet those anxieties that were inside of me, that things I didn't want to feel and didn't want to deal with, and I used alcohol to turn down the volume on that and for a while it kind of at least seemed like it worked. I would feel relaxed, I would kind of have a drink before bed and then, if anyone has had a substance addiction, you know the way that works is, eventually you have to start using more of that substance to get the same feeling you had. So, in order to feel relaxed, you need a second drink or a third and so on. And eventually I got to the point where I couldn't. I didn't feel like I could fall asleep without having that. And, um, you know, I I tried to quit multiple times on my own.
Speaker 1:And I mean, here I am touring the country singing about Jesus, and and then I would get on the bus at night and um, it just became a thing that I felt like I needed to have and Anyway, it became a problem. I tried to quit multiple times and couldn't do it. Eventually I realized I wasn't going to be able to do it on my own, by myself. I needed to ask for help. I needed to tell somebody about the extent of the problem I was having, because I be doing it, but nobody else knew about it, and so I couldn't ask for help. So eventually I had just had enough.
Speaker 1:In AA we say I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I called a friend and I was like man, I am drinking too much, I can't quit, I need help and I don't know what to do next, but I'm telling you so that I stay accountable, to stop and to figure out how to do this. And then I got into counseling with an addiction therapist. I told my wife the extent of my problems and she was so kind and gracious and understanding and has been with me every step of the way. And next month I'll celebrate seven years of sobriety.
Speaker 2:Yeah, since my since my last drink, and next month I'll celebrate seven years of sobriety.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, since my last drink and you know thanks, it hasn't been easy. It's gotten a lot easier. The first year was really hard and then second year was tough and it's gotten easier as I've gone on. But it's been so worth it and God has used friends and family and therapy and church and prayer, and I try and practice healthier habits to deal with my anxiety now than, of course, a substance which is not a good cure for anxiety. So that ranges from everything I just mentioned to you know to exercise, to make sure I'm connecting with friends and staying connected to people, rather than hiding those things and thinking I can sort of stuff them in and avoid those things.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, in order to face my giant, I had to get some people to help me and I can just say that if any of you out there are dealing with an addiction or a secret, I can tell you from experience that trying to fix that thing on your own is probably not going to work, because I tried it for a few years and it just got worse and worse and worse and the shame piled on because I thought I failed again.
Speaker 1:I might as well just hit it harder, and then I would hate myself even more, because how could I be doing this to myself? And I mean, the truth is, it's an addictive substance and you pour more of it down your body, you're going to get addicted to it, and so I think some of that shame was unfounded. Of course, along the way, way, you do make some choices, but, um, I've learned to to be a little kinder on myself and to try and see myself the way God does, which is loved, forgiven, uh, and free, and to not have to go to those things that I thought would help but only ended up hurting. That's good.
Speaker 2:It's beautiful. Okay, there's a couple of things that you said that I would love to touch on. Did you have anything that you wanted to say, mrs killer? No, go right ahead. Okay, so it had to be difficult for you, not only as a christian, to to recognize and then share that with somebody, but probably even even another level, as being a christian artist that's going out performing. What was it like for you to take that first step? What was it like to step over that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, here's the other thing. If anybody out there has ever struggled with an addiction or with a secret, there comes a point where it feels like you've passed the point of no return. It's like for a while you're're like I can get away with this, and then it becomes a problem. And then you're like, okay, I need to stop this. And then you try and you can't, and you're like wait a second. And you keep trying and keep failing, and then it's, and then it's been so long that you think to yourself I can't ask for help now because I've been doing this for so long that this, just on paper, looks bad. It looks like I've been and I had been hiding this thing for so long.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, it really was hard. The hardest thing was to tell my wife because she didn't know that I had this problem. I hid it very well, I think growing up in the church, especially as a pastor's kid, taught me to hide those things, not alcoholism, but just the things I don't want people to know and then going into a job where it is my job to present myself a certain way. I'm good at at showing people the parts of me that I want to.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:But when it came time to getting that help, I had to show the parts of me that hurt and that that were shameful. And um, I actually, um, I have a verse. I'm going to see if I can look at my phone here. Uh, and I have a verse. I'm going to see if I can look at my phone here and read to you, because I had this verse. I was on a tour at the time. I'm looking at my phone Is my avatar looking up in the air like anything funny?
Speaker 2:You're good. Okay, you're good, it's not great. It's like you're really in deep thought right now.
Speaker 1:I am so in deep thought, guys. This is Psalm 32. And if you have a secret or an addiction, maybe you can relate to this. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long, for day and night, your hand was heavy on me. My strength was sapped, as in the heat of summer. I mean, if that doesn't sound like a hangover, I don't know what does.
Speaker 1:Then I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover up my iniquity. I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave me the guilt of my sin. And then on down, he forgave me all my guilt is gone. So that verse I had taped to my bunk because I was like I know this is a problem and I've confessed my sin a million times to the Lord. But then the other key to me was James 5.16,. Confess your sins one to another and you will be healed. And that was the piece I was missing. It was like me and God talked all the time. I was like God still can't quit. Help me quit. And I think he was prompting me I will and I am, and you need to tell somebody else. And so that's what it took. And yeah, it was really, really hard and I tried to do it a lot of times before I actually did do it, and then I finally did. And here we are.
Speaker 1:I'm free, that's good.
Speaker 2:That's good Praise, god, that's amazing. That's amazing and I have to say, like, for those of you that never have been inside a bunk and a tour bus, it's like a sardine can. So I mean tour bus, it's like it's like a sardine can. So I mean literally. It's like that scripture was really close to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, god, and the scripture were very literally close that's what we love about, excuse me, we love about the community in here. I know there's a lot of people here that's that has shared. They've been hurt by church or or you know they're not connected like they, maybe their family isn't close to them anymore, and you guys have built really close friendships in in horizons world, here, right here in the metaverse, you guys are creating amazing friendships. Yes, I mean, I see we've we've celebrated birthdays, you guys. You know there's, there's been people that have passed away from here, and I see celebrations of people coming together to remember them. This is a strong community and you can find close friends in here, too, to lean on.
Speaker 2:And one of the things that we grew up in a church that we learned too, is, when someone opens up and becomes vulnerable with you, make sure they're handing you a sword, they're trusting you, say, hey, I'm going to give this to you, I'm really dealing with this. Just be careful not to pick up that sword and start stabbing them with it. Like, really like, be there to listen, to help them. Uh, they, they've opened up to you and been vulnerable because they feel like you're the person they can trust. How was your friend working with? I don't you know? I know you're not going to say a name or anything like that, but but how were they supported?
Speaker 1:I don't mind saying his name, his name's James Teely. I've written a bunch of songs with him and he's one of my best friends. And I called and I said hey, man, I have this problem, I can't quit, I need to get help. I'm telling you because I want you to hold me accountable. And he said, okay. So then I called a counselor friend and he said okay, come in tomorrow. And I did. And I went in and spilled the beans and he was like okay, we've got a good addiction therapist we work with. I'm going to send you to him.
Speaker 1:And so I started going to him three times a week and actually had met with him for probably two weeks before I finally was able to tell my wife. I still could not bring myself to tell Becca was able to tell my wife. I still could not bring myself to tell Becca. And what my counselor told me to do is write out what you want to say to her and then read it to her in front of her, and that way you don't forget anything. And so I thought that was really wise. So I wrote it all out and told her, and she came with me the next day to see that addiction counselor to see. You know, here's what I'm doing, here's the help I'm getting. And yeah, I saw him three times a week for maybe six months and then two times a week and then, for you know, out of a year I would see him like once a month.
Speaker 1:So it tapered off. But you know there's lots of ways to get help. So it tapered off. But there's lots of ways to get help. And in a room this size, statistically, someone in here probably has a problem with a substance and I can just tell you there's hope, there's help, and the more you sort of keep that to yourself, the harder it is. Telling somebody is key and, um, and I also know that, you know, therapy is expensive and I don't I don't want to assume I actually had some people help me with, with paying for some some of the help I got. And if you can't afford that, there are free ways to find help as well. Um, one of them is, um, you, you know, if I'm not sure you know if you're a Christian, there are some Christian ones, like Celebrate Recovery probably meets at a church near you. Just look up Celebrate Recovery If you're not a Christian, any of the anonymous. You know Alcoholics Anonymous, narcotics Anonymous they don't require that you are a Christian, you know. If you're uncomfortable with any of that, that's still a great place to start. I think it's really just the community of like-minded people. It's huge and so all of that's free.
Speaker 1:Y'all are internet people, so I'm sure a lot of you are. On Reddit, there's a subreddit called Stop Drinking. It's about a quarter million people who are just on there to help each other quit drinking. So check out that sub if you're on Reddit. That was a place even before I got sober. For a couple of years I would sort of lurk on that sub and just like I'd post and be like someday I want to be posting on here saying, hey, I've got six months, I've got a year, I've got two years sober and that was a huge resource for me.
Speaker 2:Wow, josh, if you wouldn't mind, like later, once the show's over, like later this week, send me those links to the place you sent, because I would love to. We want to make sure we put those in the podcast show notes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and get help For sure. There's also a book Annie Grace is the author and it's a book called this Naked Mind. It's about alcohol, so that's another great resource. I don't know her, it's just a book that was helpful for me.
Speaker 3:Josh, do you know who Andrew Peterson is?
Speaker 1:I do. Yeah, he's a good friend.
Speaker 3:Oh really, let's talk about that later. I'm just kidding, but you telling your story reminded me of this quote from the Winged Feather Saga and I wanted to read it, and I hope I don't cry because I'm so moved by those books.
Speaker 2:We'll give you a warning. She always cries, so just cry a lot. This is a safe place.
Speaker 5:It's a safe place.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much, but I thought that you all would be moved by this too, so I wanted to share it. You all would be moved by this too, so I wanted to share it. Um, he moved through his days in peace and wonder, for his whole story had been told for the first time and he found that he was still loved. And that's what, what I heard in your story that you told the truth, you know, to your friends and your wife. And, um, do you tell these stories to when you perform?
Speaker 1:I do, I do, yeah, and you know I have an eight-year-old son and so I'm starting to tell him. You know some of that and it's not like some big reveal. I really, at this point I'm just an open book. It's actually really fun to tell the truth. You don't have to keep up with who you're hiding what from, it's just show up and it makes public speaking a lot easier. I'm just here just to tell the truth.
Speaker 2:We peed on the road. I was an alcoholic.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 3:But the two were unrelated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that particular pee was not alcohol.
Speaker 2:We did that sober. It was water, it was water, it was water. You know, josh, I have to say too it had to be, and it'd be difficult to, even as a Christian, to step up and reach out to a counselor. I mean, I know some Christian friends that have reached out and they told me it was so hard, just because knowing like there's so much shame that they're carrying because of that too, because they feel like they're supposed to have it all together and I love that you're sharing that Like, oh man, it doesn't mean you have it all together.
Speaker 1:Oh, and I'll tell you I'm still I'm not currently in therapy, but I was, you know, two years ago. I go anytime that things get kind of rough and that, alcohol or not, life gets rough, and two years ago I had what I would consider a bit of a mental breakdown from anxiety and depression and panic attacks. And, yeah, I was right back in therapy and I'm on anxiety medication and happy to be. And so, yeah, these things don't disqualify me from being a Christian or having faith. They mean I take my faith seriously and I believe that God uses a lot of different ways to heal. And I'm not telling anybody to take medication or talk to your doctor, but there's no shame in any of that, my goodness. I posted on Instagram recently that was like for the Christians who don't think Christians should take medication my medication helps me go to church and pray.
Speaker 1:If I'm not on this medication, I remember sitting in a Sunday service having so much anxiety in my body I had to go out to my car to breathe. I couldn't even sit through church because I had so much anxiety. And I'm also getting to the root of that. I'm not using the medicine as a mask not to deal with it, but it gets me to a baseline where, man, I'm so much better than I was. So, yeah, don't hear me say that it's one and done. Now that I don't drink, I've got it all together. My goodness, I'm still a mess and I'm so thankful for Jesus and for my church and my friends and family. And, yeah, it feels like the stigma about mental health and a lot of these things is easing up these days, which I think is really cool, I agree.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, days which I think is really cool. I agree, yeah, I think so too. Yeah, I think that we're learning more and more about it with all the digital connections we've had, like with social media and stuff. There's more of that and there's so much of it being buried that it's good for everybody to realize it's okay to reach out and get help and we all have giants in different ways in different areas. And I was going to say I know a lot of people in here know MetaCoach.
Speaker 2:If you are struggling with something, go see MetaCoach too. He's amazing. He's a life coach. If you're a veteran, he's a veteran as well. He's a Christian, but he's a great person to talk to. That can also he might be able to help you. I know he does like some counseling in here in the metaverse. He's actually a real counselor in life, but he can connect you with other people too. He's got a huge network, so reach out to him. A lot of you probably know how many of you here know medical. Or start some confetti If you know medical. Yeah, a lot of people here know medical. It's great guy, so reach out to him too. Do we have any audience members that would like to ask a question or share with Josh Dawn. Come on up.
Speaker 3:How are?
Speaker 2:you doing Dawn.
Speaker 3:I'm good. I just want to tell you, Josh, that a lot of our listeners at our radio station really were impacted by things that I'm afraid of.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, I just want to tell you that yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's a song that talks about anxiety and depression and mental health and yeah, essentially the message is our struggles are big, our God is. Our God is bigger, and the things that I'm afraid of are afraid of you.
Speaker 3:So yes.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for sharing that. Anybody else got a question or a thought they'd like to share with Josh?
Speaker 3:While he's talking to the audience, josh, I'll tell you. When he came back from the, what was it called? Again the retreat? Yeah. And he came back from the uh, what was it called? Again the retreat, yeah. And he said he met you. I was like josh wilson that sounds so familiar. He's like revolutionary. I knew immediately. I was like what nice. Nice, because that was the first song of yours that I ever heard yeah um yeah, and it's just so catchy.
Speaker 4:I love that song so much well, thank you so much yeah, I appreciate that I was gonna say hello, hello, hi, josh, what's up? I was gonna say the other day.
Speaker 4:Um, I was thinking in my head, I'm like you know, because I'm new to this christian music thing yeah, man you know it was, and, uh, I like to dance and I thought, you know, there's not really too many songs out there, christian songs that you can really, like you know, get down, right, right. And so then, when Mr KillerB said that Josh was going to be here, and then I got the text today and I'm like Josh Wilson, josh Wilson, I go, hey, google play Josh Wilson, and not right now. Uh-oh, nope.
Speaker 3:There you go.
Speaker 4:Unplug it when Ruth Revolutionary came on. I know this song, I love this song. You can dance to that song.
Speaker 3:You can dance. You can dance to that song.
Speaker 4:I just want to say that's an awesome song.
Speaker 1:I love it, man. Thank you, awesome song. I love it, man. Yeah, thank you so much I appreciate it, brother, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Well, let me just clarify you can dance to that song. If you're not me, let me just clarify that you can dance to that song, darling. Yeah, yeah, I'll just let you believe that we're not going to try to test it out. No videos, that we're not going to try to test it out and no videos. So, as we wrap up, josh, I would like to ask you if there is one thing that you would hope people would walk away from this interview, from your story, what would it be?
Speaker 1:um, well, that there is hope. I uh, I really didn't think I was going to be able to to quit and to find help and hope, and if there's hope for me, there's hope for anybody. So, yeah, if you've got that thing that you know or that you think you can't quit, I was in your shoes just about seven years ago and here I am and it's possible, and the two things that helped me were to tell, tell God and tell somebody else. Um, tell God, tell a trusted friend, and then new life begins. It's not easy, but, uh, but it's beautiful. We'll see how this song goes on guitar. Like I said, I've never done it, um, but it's called God's Not Mad at you. It goes like this Like I said, I've never done it, but it's called God's Not Mad at you.
Speaker 5:It goes like this Do you ever have days when you hate yourself? I've had plenty of days like that myself, when you just can't pray the pain away and you wonder if you just need more faith or God might move on to someone else. If you feel that way, let's get a few things straight. One God's not mad at you. Two you are not a burden. Three there is always hope, even though I know you're hurting. Four this is not forever. Five Jesus loves you, and so do I. I know it's easy to forget, so when you do, just count again If you enjoyed this episode don't forget to follow this podcast and leave us a review.