Empowered Explant

If what you see in the mirror after explant surgery scares you, DO THIS!

• Darnah Mercieca • Season 3 • Episode 64

Share episode

Feeling uncertain and self-conscious after explant surgery? You're not alone.  Together, we'll unravel five transformative steps you can take action on immediately, all designed to help you embrace your body's changes with confidence and optimism.

As we navigate this path, we’ll explore how self-compassion and patience are not just ideals but daily practices that can significantly enhance your healing journey.

Links and resources:

  1. Download 44 Healing Affirmations:
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fSH8BTY8qoxiDWa3wozj0AaeQlvJSRW2/view?usp=sharing

  2. Listen to this episode about breast healing and fluffing: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2073651/episodes/15235081

  3. Empowered Explant Website Resources
    https://www.empoweredexplant.com/resources

  4. For coaching and support before or after surgery, visit: http://empoweredexplant.com/support 

Please help us be heard and raise awareness:

  1. Subscribe to the show
  2. Rate and review
  3. Share with your friends

Let's connect!

Join the Empowered Explant Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredexplant

Connect with Darnah on Instagram: @darnahmercieca

Interviews and sponsorships email: podcast@empoweredexplant.com

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/ilya-kuznetsov/anticipation

Disclaimer: This podcast does not constitute medical or mental health advice. Darnah is not a medical practitioner. She shares from personal experience, research, and conversations with other people. If you are experiencing symptoms, pain, post-surgery complications, or mental health concerns, please seek care from your medical provider or surgeon.


Darnah Mercieca:

I know that this is something that so many of us feel when we first have our breast implants removed. We look in the mirror and maybe we feel shocked, maybe we feel discouraged, maybe we feel down, maybe we feel terrified about what we see in the mirror. This is empowered explant the podcast helping women ditch their breast implants with confidence. I'm D Merzica, board certified health and wellness coach and explant warrior. Today I did a live Q&A. So I've been doing this live Q&A series for a little while now actually a couple of months and every Saturday I've been going live on my Instagram and also in the Empowered Explant Facebook group and answering questions that breasties women on their explant journey have had for me, and so they've been DMing me questions, leaving questions in different places, and I've kind of been grabbing all those questions and then answering them in the live Q&As. And I did this because so many questions that we have as individuals in this journey tons of other women have those questions too. So I figured, oh, how about I answer them in a way that everyone can see, because a lot of us have the same questions. So all of those replays are now available on my Instagram. They're going to be, you know they're all available in the Empowered Explant Facebook group so that can now become a helpful resource. But one of the questions that I answered today, I thought, wow, this would be really great on the podcast because this one really stood out to me and my answer today was quite lengthy. And I know that this is something that so many of us feel when we first have our breast implants removed and we look in the mirror and maybe we feel shocked, maybe we feel discouraged, maybe we feel down, maybe we feel terrified about what we see in the mirror. And so one of the questions from a lovely lady who has just had her breast implants removed she's feeling discouraged about what she's seeing in the mirror and she knows that she's being told hey, there's a long journey ahead of you, you're only a week into this. Just breathe and trust the process.

Darnah Mercieca:

But it's not always easy to just trust the process and I think we can still very quickly find ourselves in a place of worry and concern and anxiety and sadness over what we're seeing and experiencing. So I was giving this some thought and I'm like how can I give a better answer than just trust the process? Because there are steps that we can take, you know, actionable, tangible steps we can take to improve our mindset and our optimism and our positivity and how we feel in a situation. So I ended up putting together a list of five things that I was like hey, I think that these steps will really help. So I'm excited to share that with you here. In case you are fresh out of your surgery and you are feeling discouraged, I know that that first few weeks is challenging, that first couple of months is challenging, and so I really hope that these insights and these tools that I share with you today can help you through this early stage of your explant surgery recovery so that you can lean into this journey, feeling really optimistic and taking the steps that you need to take to support your body in healing.

Darnah Mercieca:

So, without further ado, here is the recording from today's live Q&A what helps you through the first few weeks after surgery when you're feeling discouraged about what you see in the mirror? Just a little bit of context here, without without telling too much about this lovely lady's story but she's had her surgery and feeling just a little bit down about what she's seeing in the mirror, which is, I just want to say, completely normal because like and this isn't the case for everybody. I think I talked about this last week but, like for me, I get it. When I first looked in the mirror, I was like whoa, whoa, things didn't look pretty, you know. They kind of looked squished and wrinkly and like empty and I it. It was a lot for my brain to process and, uh, in that first few weeks, yeah, there's some adjustments and some like changes, but it's still very early in the process. So it can be really challenging emotionally for the first few weeks, even the first few months, and it can be a huge test of your self-worth and your self-love. So I've got a few actually I've got five recommendations for you here, five things that can really help you in that early stage of of finding acceptance and finding optimism.

Darnah Mercieca:

When you're feeling discouraged, one of the most powerful things you can do is love yourself, even in the moment that you don't like what you see, and both things can be true. This kind of goes for anything body image, wise, right, like we can look at something in the mirror and be like I don't really like that, but you can still love yourself and that is super important. So how you show up for yourself and talk to yourself matters here. It matters so much. Can you give yourself unconditional love and show yourself that you are worthy?

Darnah Mercieca:

If your child or family member or loved one had surgery or was in an accident and had some physical healing to do, would you still love them? How would you speak to them? Would you be encouraging and uplifting? Would you be encouraging and uplifting and how does the way that you're talking to yourself on a daily basis right now, how does that measure up against how you would treat a loved one if it was them going through this? So we need to treat ourselves the way we would treat a loved one, and it's not toxic positivity as in like ignoring that there's healing to do, ignoring that there is something that you're feeling discomfort around, but you can still be encouraging and uplifting and optimistic and loving to yourself at the same time. So that is just something that I wanted to point out here, and I think that really paying attention to how we're talking to ourselves and using that frame of like okay, if this was a loved one, if this was my best friend, how would I be addressing the situation? How would I be talking to them and try and do your best to talk to yourself in that way, in a supportive, optimistic tone. So that's the first thing. Number two would be reminding yourself that this is a long journey. You've got to give your body up to 12 months of healing space and time to see those final results and how you care for your breasts. That entire time matters, so there's an element of responsibility on your part here too.

Darnah Mercieca:

I talked about what I did to heal my scars and breasts in last week's Q&A, so I recommend listening to that replay, that recording, and then I also have an episode on the podcast about how to help your breasts heal and fluff. So listen to that one too. Okay, listen to both of those things, because I talk about my whole, how I showed up for my breaths and my scars and my body after surgery. And the more that you show your body, you're committed to its healing, the better you will feel. The more you do that, the better your body heals. It's really incredible how it's all connected as well and how our mindset also creates healing in our body. It can do either things. It can create healing in the body, or it can create the opposite of healing in the body healing in the body, or it can create the opposite of healing in the body. So really committing to this journey and having patience, working on patience, is a big one.

Darnah Mercieca:

Number three is gratitude journaling and this is not cliche, this is not like, oh really Like. No, seriously, it works, I promise you. When you're focused on the negative, that is all you will see and it can start to consume you. So I want you to start a gratitude journal Every morning or night. Write three things you're grateful for at minimum. Make it easy, three at minimum. And that might look like I'm grateful for another day closer to being fully healed, like literally, if that's all you got right now, write that down.

Darnah Mercieca:

I'm grateful for choosing to prioritize my health. I'm grateful for being brave for the surgeon who got me through surgery safely, the nutritious food I ate today, my body's ability to heal and repair. I'm grateful for being able to breathe deeply again. I'm grateful for how connected I am to my body. I'm grateful for following my intuition. I'm grateful for whatever it is feeling lighter, healthier, sleeping comfortably again, running again, being pain-free. I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned on this journey.

Darnah Mercieca:

Gratitude is powerful and it can really help get you out of that funk. It can help get you out of that discouraged down place and this is a tool that you can use for the rest of your life, in everything, in every part of your life. It just helps also, like, bring you back to that other perspective of like, wow, I have learned a lot on this journey. Like, wow, I have learned a lot on this journey. Wow, like, even though I might have regrets or I might have things that I don't feel great about or I'm still healing or I'm still working on, there are good things that I can be grateful for every day. And I want you to just really, really lean into that, because the more we stay connected to the good and the more we stay connected to the good and the more we stay connected to our why and the positive lessons that can come out of this, the better we feel, and that once again translates into our healing and our body's ability to to heal and repair.

Darnah Mercieca:

My fourth thought on this is a fun one. It's to create a healing calendar. Use a calendar preferably a physical one, right that you can stick on your wall or hang on your wall, to set assessment milestones at three months, six months, nine months and 12 months. Okay, circle those dates on the calendar Now, all the days in between that you don't assess, you don't judge, you don't worry about your results, but you do show up for yourself daily. So each day that passes, draw a little love heart. That signifies that you're a day closer in your healing journey and that you showed up for yourself with love today. You nourished your body, you massage, you massage your breasts and your scars. You exercised, you repeated an affirmation, you followed your detox protocol, whatever it is Okay. This way. You control what you can and you surrender the rest. I'm saying that again. That's my favorite mantra on this journey. Seriously, I don't know, I need like a t-shirt with that on it because I say it all the time, but it's true. And on those milestone days, so every 90 days that you've marked on your calendar, you assess your healing, but not from a place of judgment, but from a place of like.

Darnah Mercieca:

Okay, how have my breasts improved over the last 90 days? How has my health improved? How have I been showing up for myself? Is there something that I have been doing that's been going really well? Is there something that I haven't really been doing that I should be doing more of? How many symptoms have cleared up? What do I notice that I'd like to work on and what can I do that's within my control to support that? What resources might I need? What support or help or guidance might I need? Who do I need to contact about this? What do I need to look into and what do I need to surrender right now? What isn't feeling good that I just need to surrender? I don't have control over that and I'm going to surrender that up and let go of that so that I can focus back on pouring into myself and controlling what I can, and so I just really like.

Darnah Mercieca:

I think it's almost like a mind trick. Um, it's a way of giving, creating psychological space for yourself. I think when we don't have dates set on the calendar, we can get to that place of like assessing and judging every day and being like, oh, I'm not healed yet. It's like you only just looked at that yesterday. How do you expect it to look different today? Or like a week later? A week later, it's like, yeah, every week is a milestone on this journey and there is improvement every week, but there's not really a whole lot of point in obsessing over your like, your physical aesthetic transformation week over week. I think, if anything you want to like keep that gratitude journal that I mentioned earlier and give thanks and gratitude and awareness to like feeling better, the things that are going well, you know, just maybe like the healing of your symptoms, your health, and focus on that. But from an aesthetic point of view, there's just no point in obsessing week after week because that can just end up or day after day because that could just really end up kind of doing a negative number on your mind. So, yeah, every 90 days, plan to come back, give yourself that little friendly, kind assessment and then go back to showing up for yourself.

Darnah Mercieca:

And number five, my recommendation is to work with a therapist or a coach, especially if you are really struggling with some emotions. You are, you know, even if it's not like debilitating, but it's there and you are, you know, kind of looking in the mirror and feeling down, feeling concerned. If you are feeling some worry on a daily basis and stress around this on a daily basis, it can be so incredibly comforting and clarifying to talk with a professional on this journey. I put my hand up as a board certified health and wellness coach who's been through explant, who's been through this whole journey. I'm here to support women through this journey in healing, becoming stronger, becoming confident. And if we talk and it seems like perhaps there's some deeper trauma that needs addressing, I'll suggest therapy if I think it's needed, if I think that you'll benefit from that and therapy is a great option as well even if you just want to go straight there.

Darnah Mercieca:

It's just it's different than just going through it on your own. It's different than just going through it on your own. You know, having someone there to keep you accountable, to showing up for yourself on a daily basis, to talk through what you're feeling, when you look in the mirror to um, to just really help guide you on that journey. It's so powerful. If you want to learn more about working with me, you can go to empoweredxplantcom forward slash support. That's empoweredxplantcom forward slash support and you can schedule an initial call with me and we can talk about what kind of support might be best for you going forward. So that can just be a helpful addition and you don't have to go through all of this alone. Seriously, I mean, I think just in our lives in general, we all go through too much on our own instead of getting support. I think even and I've spoken about this openly.

Darnah Mercieca:

I wish that I got therapy or had a coach or something before I even got my breast implants, because I believe, I truly believe, that if I had therapy prior or if I had a coach, that was like helping coach me in my self-confidence and and getting to where I wanted to be in my life, because I had dreams and goals and aspirations, and let me tell you, my breast implants were not a part of that. My breast implants had nothing to do with achieving those goals and dreams that I had. I did not need them and if I had the right support in my life prior to getting my breast implants, I would not have got them. In my life prior to getting my breast implants, I would not have got them. So I just think there's so many areas of our lives that this kind of support can be beneficial, whether that's working on our health, working on our relationships, working on our finances, finances, whatever it is. There are people who are in this world trained to help us through and, uh, I'm really excited because I'm at a place in my life where I'm getting support in the areas that I need it and it feels so good to do that. It feels so good to work with great people who have gone through maybe something similar to me but have like, far surpassed where I am now, who have, who are crushing it in life, in whatever area it is that I feel like I want to crush it and I'm looking at that going, wow, I aspire to that. So why, why shouldn't I work with that person who's been through that, who's already mapped it out, who's already gone through that journey? I mean, it just makes sense. But yet so many of us kind of just fall back to trying to do everything ourselves, trying to figure it all out, not asking for help, not asking for support, and it's like man, it's just, we just don't have to do that. And that's been a really cool lesson for me through this journey. I mean explanting.

Darnah Mercieca:

Definitely my recovery was not roses. I went through a really tough time during my recovery and I've spoken about this on the podcast, but you know, if you don't know, I um, I had a really hard breakup four weeks after my surgery. I had to live. I didn't have a job, I couldn't carry my suitcases. It was hard. I moved from place to place, I had to ask for help. I accepted help from strangers kind, lovely strangers that I'm so grateful for.

Darnah Mercieca:

But it was like, like I said earlier, it was so humbling and then, ever since I've kind of realized like, oh, I don't have to do everything alone, there's power in community. There's there's power in in connecting with people, there's power in getting help and support. So you know, that's a big part of why I created Empowered Explant is to is to give this community um resources that I didn't have, that I thought would be really helpful. To create a sense of community and sisterhood in the Empowered Explore community, like the Facebook, the private Facebook group, for example. To leverage my knowledge and experience as a health and wellness coach and pour all of that knowledge into this journey which you know nutrition, exercise, mindset, all of those pieces come into play in this journey so much so it just feels so good to be able to use my education and experience to support people, to support women who are removing their breast implants and regaining their health and their confidence.

Darnah Mercieca:

I really hope that was helpful and insightful for you and if you are in this part of your journey, I would love to hear from you, I would love to hear what your takeaways were from today's episode and if you do implement what I talked about here, let me know. Let me know how it goes for you. Let me know what works, what doesn't. Ask me questions. If you'd like to dive a little deeper into anything that I talked about, you can reach out to me in the Empowered Explant Facebook group. You can go and join the group. I'm in there. You can ask questions and get support inside the Empowered Explant Facebook group To join. Just go to communityempoweredexplantcom. Or you can just go to Facebook and search empoweredxplant the group, not the page. You can find me on Instagram and DM me there. I'm often on the gram and you can email me directly as well. We're breasties, so you always have a direct line to me. That is darna at empoweredxplantcom. All of that is also linked in the show notes or the description below.

Darnah Mercieca:

But yeah, I really hope that that was powerful and gave you some perspective, some new things that you can try, and I am just so in your corner. I'm going to say it now Trust the process. You've got this. You've got this. It's a journey. You are embarking on a journey of health and self-acceptance and confidence and self-love, and just lean in and give yourself and your body the love it deserves. No matter if there are scars, no matter if there are stretch marks, your body still deserves love and you are still beautiful. All right, breasty, I'll see you here next week. Lots of love.