00:00:21
Good day, everyone. Welcome to the Is Your Way in Your Way podcast. And yes, many of you are aware that that's the name of my book. I'm a debut author, and it's called Is Your Way in Your Way. And for those new listeners, let me share what this podcast is all about.
00:00:39
It's actually about individuals who are ready to move forward in their lives. Those who are challenged to overcome obstacles, those negative self-beliefs, those old programming, and all of that kind of stuff that's preventing you from living your best life. So we talk about topics related to business and personal development and self-improvement, and who better to talk about that? That is my special guest today, Doctor Wendy O'Connor. Welcome Dr. O'Connor.
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How are you? I'm great. I'm so excited to be here with you today. Thank you for having me on. Yes, exactly.
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And I am so excited about our title today, living a life by design. I love that. So before we go forward, I want to share with my listeners a little background on you so they'll get, they'll be familiar with what you've been up to. Dr. Wendy is a Stanford-trained positive psychologist and success coach for female entrepreneurs. She helps women design their most meaningful, intentional, and fulfilling lives and businesses.
00:01:56
Also, she helps women move forward from surviving to thriving. Utilizing her strengths, values and evidence based success method. Dr. Wendy has helped thousands of women worldwide live a life and business they're obsessed with. I love that. I just love that so much. On my website I have thriving rather than just surviving and I really believe in that concept so much.
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So let me ask you, Dr. Wendy, I have to remember, Dr. Wendy, give us a little bit of your backstory, personal professional that led you to the path that you are on today. Empowering women well actually you obsess with empowering women to permit themselves to live a life by their design. I am, I am. That's an adequate description. And call me Wendy.
00:02:52
So I started out in my career as a psychologist, clinical psychologist. About 15 years ago I built two incredible businesses. It was a wonderful season of life. I felt like I was making impact, it was meaningful, it felt like a purpose in my life. And then at the season in my personal life where everything shifted was when I had three daughters under two.
00:03:16
So I had my first daughter and then 15 months later had twins. And life just felt so different all of a sudden. Like what was lighting me up didn't feel like it was, it was felt more of a drain. Like I started to feel drained by my work versus excited by my work because my energy was just going into so many more places now. Yeah.
00:03:38
And I just. I very quickly realized that this chapter of creating success through clinical work, it was time for it to come to a close. It was time to complete this chapter and to do something that truly lit me up. But I would not have done that if I did not give myself permission to change my mind. So this is where I became very excited about helping women all over the world give themselves permission to change their minds, to do something new, to light their lives up.
00:04:10
It was really about getting out of this seat of autopilot living and to start living by design and not just default anymore. So I asked myself deep questions. I really had this period of self reflection, which is exactly what I take my clients through, so that what they build next in their businesses is truly aligned with who they are. But I did this self reflective work. I realized that instead of taking people as I was in my clinical practice from suffering to functioning with depression and anxiety, which was really a beautiful season for me.
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But I felt like there was a readiness that I had and a yearning that I had to start working with, serving people who wanted to go from surviving a life of autopilot living to thriving in life, to really stop feeling like they're going through the motions and checking the boxes. And life is good, but it's not great, but it's not that bad. And to give themselves permission to go all in. So I closed my clinical practices. I left my two practices, and I started a coaching business.
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And now that's what I do as a positive psychologist and success coach. I help empower entrepreneurs to really live their lives and businesses by design. Wow, that's great. So I know my listeners are like, okay, I heard all of that, but what is a positive psychologist, what does that mean? A positive psychologist?
00:05:34
Yeah. I call myself a positive psychologist. It's not really even a real thing. Like, it's like, you know, a clinical psychologist. You know what it is?
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But I say positive psychologist because what really shifted for me personally and then for my entire career was the science of happiness. So when I was going through my period of feeling burnt out, overwhelmed with my three little kiddos, feeling like there was just too much energy being taken out and not enough coming back in, I just, in my self reflective period, came across positive psychology, this science of happiness. And I couldn't believe that there was a science of happiness. Like, it was suddenly the coolest thing I've ever heard, that there could literally be the ways, like, we know based on the research, what it takes to live a truly flourishing life. And I said, well, okay, if I know what it takes now all I need to do is to follow the path.
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Like, I just need to follow that roadmap to discover what's really next for me and to reach my next level of happiness. So positive psychology is the science of happiness. So that's what we're referring to. If you ever hear positive psychology or you hear someone call themselves a positive psychologist, it's not really a technical term, but it really is that representation of the work that I did with myself and the work that I do with my clients. Is it all about who you are at your best.
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And how do you reach that place? And that's all that it is. Who are you at your best, at your happiest level, and how do you get there? And that, to me, was, like, the key to unlock the next door. Right?
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So that's interesting. You actually pivoted to that because you were feeling like you were surviving, because you had the three girls, the twins, and, you know, because I say that because a lot of individuals, they go through what I call trials and tribulations. But depending on what your mindset is, maybe that's your gift to pivot and to do something like you're doing, because that's how you felt. So when you started doing this positive psychology that transcends you from feeling different because you were feeling overwhelmed, you closed your business. But how did you get your mindset to, based on all that you've been through, in regards to being overwhelmed, feeling different because your lifestyle had changed, how did you do that?.
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What did you do for you to get you to where you are today in regards to being positive? Okay, so this brings up a point that I think is a common misconception for people when it comes to positive psychology. This is not the toxic positivity that we would hear about of late, this idea that everything's just great and Pollyanna and nothing could be wrong and just look on the bright side and just be grateful? Like, that's not what this was about or is about. It's really about taking not only an accurate look at where you are in your life, and that may have some gaps in it, and there may be some holes and some room for improvement, but it's really about leaning into what do we have control over, what do we desire, and really, how do we make that plan for getting there.
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So, for me, at the time, it wasn't this. I, first of all, a strength of mine is hope. So as soon as I was in this place of really feeling overwhelmed and depleted. And then I discover this incredible roadmap, for lack of a better term, to feel better. I was like, instantly, hope was inspired in me.
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I was like, okay, like, this is it. But what really comes before the hope is for me. It's like, I'm not wired to settle for a life that I'm not obsessed with. Like, I'm not wired to settle. I'm not wired to say, well, this is as good as it gets, so just be grateful.
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It's like, you get to be grateful and want for better. Like, you get to have both. And so when I gave myself that permission to be like, I don't know what it is next, I don't know what the next thing is, but I trust myself to figure it out as I go, and I trust that I don't have to be excited to go for it. I just need to believe that I can create something better than this. And so let's go figure it out.
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Like, it was that simple. It wasn't like I had to have this wave of positive burst of emotion and feel excited. It was like there was hope, there was this possibility, and then there was the, all right, well, let's figure it out. What could it be? Okay.
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So to me, I see that as an innate gift, you know, having that hope, you know, because some people say, I have hope, but they don't sustain it. You know, you may have hope for a little while, and then it's like, well, you know, then that negative self talk comes in. So I applaud you for that, because what a blessing you are to a lot of women, entrepreneur women. So with that, I'd like to know, how do you go about, how does one, or how do you get your entrepreneurs to live a life by design? What does that methodology look like?
00:10:32
So, funny enough, it's very similar to what we use. And when I started coaching, I started coaching women as a whole. So I would really serve women who wanted to thrive, but really wanted to do it in not a haphazard or guesswork way. It was like, let's learn the science. Let's do what we've learned.
00:10:50
Let's implement those tools and get to a happier place. So, actually, the methodology is very similar, and I just niched down to entrepreneurs, because what I was finding was entrepreneurs kept coming into my world. Women who wanted to create businesses and have success but did not want to have success without happiness, did not want to have success, whatever they define it, without the fulfillment. Like that was a dead end. That was not what people wanted, what women wanted in my world.
00:11:15
They wanted it all. And so that's how I help women, is to learn how to have it all. And when I say have it all, it just means alignment. It's like we take them through strength assessment, values assessment, life assessment. It's about understanding where you are right now, who you are.
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So your natural gifts or strengths, what matters most to you, which are your values, and how to bring those together with your deep desires. And this is the map that we would use for my clients, who are women, not entrepreneurs. It's what I use with my entrepreneurs. It's a strength, values, and desires based roadmap. So when I take women through this journey, it's really this aha.
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Experience that, especially for entrepreneurs who are high achievers and very driven people. And it's like, why isn't this feeling like the way I want it to feel? Why do I feel stressed, overwhelmed? Why do I feel like I'm hustling? Why do I feel like I'm attached to my business 24/7 it's like because we're not actually using the right roadmap of alignment.
00:12:15
So it's very strength oriented, values oriented, and desires oriented. And of course, all of that connects with mindset. You will not have you; I always say your success will be determined by your mind. Like, if your mind is going to let you go for it and go all in, you will have the success of your dreams. But if your mindset is not wired and rewired to support that, you're going to be so capped, you're going to feel so limited.
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So those are the pieces that we focus on, right? And then, and then we call it the battlefield of the mind. It's like the mind is really, wow. It can, it could, it could just tear you apart. I mean, you know, so when we talk about mindset, and I don't think there's anyone that's not heard that term before, how do you create that mindset with your clients?
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The positive, I don't want to say the positive, but the mindset that's going to enable them to thrive in their lives. It comes down to changing your relationship with fear. Okay? That's all that this is. It's about changing your relationship with fear.
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Whether that fear comes in the form of fear of failure, fear of messing up, fear of being embarrassed, fear of just feeling a negative emotion, like disappointed or let down or discouraged, whatever the fear is around some women, even fear the success. So it could be a fear of success, fear of doubting themselves, like, whatever that fear is. When we change our relationship with fear and we look at fear as non threatening and we look at fear as just extremely normal and inevitable part of this puzzle. You cannot have success, happiness, without some fear. Like, it's going to follow you into your goals and into your next level.
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But when we change our relationship, meaning how you respond to fear versus react to fear, this is what starts to rewire your mindset. When you do this work, fears become something that you look at as, oh, that's normal. Of course, this fear is here. Like, my brain is designed and wired to keep me safe, not to keep me successful, it's here to keep me safe. So everything that I want to change or to up level or to modify in my life for the better, my brain's going to have the same opinion on it for the most part.
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That opinion is going to be, don't do it, don't take the risk. It's not worth it. You're good enough where you are, why bother? And the brain being wired for safety, tries to hold us back. The mistake many women make is listening to that message and not looking at the fear as just a message that you're actually onto something really good, like you're onto something.
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When fear kicks in, it's not a message that you're under threat and you need to change your mind and it's the wrong move. I interpret here as the message that, oh, I'm onto something here. Like, this is something good because it's so out of my comfort zone. It's something that's expanding me. And my brain's like, no, I don't want you to do this.
00:15:14
So I'm like, oh, okay, I see what's going on here. Okay, okay. It's all about perspective. Like, it's like talking back to yourself and acknowledging and recognizing what it is. And I don't think many of us do that.
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You know, it's something that's holding us back. But if you're not aware of what it is, and then it sounds like once you aware, then you're able to talk to it and say, uh, uh. Like you just says, no, no, no, this is something that I supposed to be doing and I'm going to do it as long as legal, ethical and moral, right? That's right. It's like, this is what I actually want.
00:15:51
Yeah, here's going to have its opinion. The brain's going to have its opinion. It always will. So when people this comes up in the form of procrastination. This comes up in the form of women saying, like, it's not the right time.
00:16:03
It comes up in the way of saying, I just need. I just need things to be perfect before I move. I need my ducks going to grow. I need it all figured out. Like, this is the way that we're actually entertaining fear and letting fear take the lead in our lives.
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But when you notice what it is and what it's doing, it's like just the image that comes up in my mind right now is like, your kiddo just starts to sneak into the kitchen to grab an extra snack, and you're like, I know what you're doing. You don't have to get all upset and have a whole wrestling match about it and yell and have a whole. It's like, I know what you're doing. The answer is no, and we move on. We can do the same thing with our fear.
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It doesn't have to be a threat to us. It's a perceived threat by the brain. That doesn't mean it's right. It doesn't mean it's truly a threat. When we can make that distinct, the distinction between what's truly threatening and what's not, to us, it's very freeing.
00:16:54
Wow. With your clients, what is a common denominator or common obstacle that your clients really struggle with?
00:17:06
A common denominator? Well, it's everything that's in my signature program. So it's really like the common denominator is that women want success and happiness. They want it all, but they don't know how to get there. Okay, so that's a big piece.
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It's the piece around. They know. They might know what they want, and they might know that there is a path to get there, but they're scared, so they let the fear hold them back. Those are the two biggest pieces. Either they don't know how to get what they want, but they know they want it.
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They're not sure what they desire because they've been so disconnected from themselves. But they know that this isn't it. Right? This isn't it. But I want something better, but I'm not sure exactly what yet.
00:17:44
I need to do some self discovery or fear holds them back from really pursuing the dream. Those, I would say, are the three things that come up. It's like these high achieving women who really want something better. They don't want to settle for a subpar existence, but they either don't know what it is, and they're like, how do I figure it out? They know what it is, but don't know how to get there.
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So what do I do? Or they know what they want, and they're scared to go for it, because what if it doesn't work? Or what if it does? Right, right. So what process do you use for?
00:18:15
You know, let's say I'm actually an entrepreneur. And being an entrepreneur, sometimes I have to, like, speak. You know, I'm a speaker as well. And so I come to you and I say, you know, I'm avoiding this speaking thing, but I know this is part of what I do. How would you help me overcome that particular fear?
00:18:41
Mm, hmm. Do you want to speak? I do. Okay, so that's a big piece.
00:18:48
A lot of entrepreneurs will say I should. I should be a speaker. I should have a podcast. I should have more offers. I should show up live on social media, I should network.
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I should. And when we live in the shoulds, we're disconnecting from desire. So this is, like, a big mistake a lot of us make is, like, we think we should do it their way, the way we see others doing it. We should do more and more, more, more to have more. And it's not the truth, but when it comes to the fear, it's really around public speaking.
00:19:17
If this is the fear we're talking about and you're like, I want to do it. I want this to be part of it, then the way we overcome it is by doing it. Like, the way you overcome any real fear or phobia is by exposing yourself to it. Okay. Right.
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So it's trickier if you're treating something like a fear flying, because we can't go flying every day and just really, like, get to that place of normalizing the experience. But when it comes to speaking, it's like, the way you're going to build the confidence that you want, that you just want to feel like it's easy to go out there is to speak a lot in different situations, whether it's lives, whether it's collaborations, whether it's being the speaker. I was recently the keynote speaker at a women's event in Boston, and I just about wanted to jump out the window and walk away before anyone even saw that I arrived. It is not my thing. And there's part of me that wants to do it because afterwards it feels so amazing that, like, so many people got to hear an important message, and it feels so valuable.
00:20:16
And that other part of me is like, there's 10,000 other ways to make impact. We don't need to go there. So it's really checking in with yourself and being like, if it's what you really want, the way to the other side of fear is to bring it with you and to do the very thing that you're afraid of over and over again. It's not sexy. It's not something like novel.
00:20:34
It's just that simple. But if it's not something you want, and that's why I bring this up, is a lot of women will say, like, I should do this. I should go. I should grow my business this way, or I should build my happiness this way. It's like, no, this needs to be your unique design.
00:20:48
That's why it's by design. It's not by her design for your life. It needs to be who you are and what you want, and if you don't want to. Originally, my clients would always say, Wendy, you need to start a podcast, and you just need to start a podcast. And I was like, okay, yeah, you start a podcast.
00:21:04
And I kept saying, I'm going to start a podcast. And then it came down to this day that I was like, I don't want a podcast. I don't want a podcast. I just want to be guests on podcasts. I want to spread this message.
00:21:16
I want to add insane value to other people's audiences. I want to spread the word for women all over, but I don't want to own the podcast. And that realization was so freeing because you have to have the podcast to have impact. Oh, wow. Right?
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You don't have to be the speaker to have impact or to grow a business. But if you want it, the way we get past it and to build confidence, which is mastery, is to go out there and do it. And I do it again and again. Right, exactly.
00:21:48
That was good. I asked that question because I, too, I have webinars, workshops on how to create and design your best life. So it's very similar to what you do. And a lot of my clients, you know, they either they want to be promoted, they want to change jobs, they want to start a business, they want to be an advocate for something, but yet they're not making that move. And I love it when you said, asked me, do you want to speak?
00:22:21
Do you want to get a promotion? Do you want a new job? You know, ask that question like, you as a podcast host, like, is this something that I really want to do? You know? So, first of all, are you wanting that because somebody else, and you think it's sexy and you think this is something you should do.
00:22:39
So I love that. And I wanted to reiterate that to my listeners, because a lot of them, you know, want to think they want to, but they need to ask themselves, is this really what I want to do? And when I say, you want to live your best life, like, what does that mean? You know, a lot of people, like, they're really trying to think about, well, what do I have to do to live my. Well, first of all, you have to know, as you indicated, what are your values?
00:23:04
What is it that you want to accomplish? You know, what are you, you know, use your gratitude. What are you grateful for? You know, those things? Because that's the biggest thing people are in my.
00:23:15
In my arena, so to speak, is I'm not quite sure what it is, you know, to design my best life. What does. What does that look like to live my best life? And it's just like, what is it that you want to do if you're not. You're not feeling comfortable in what you're doing now, so what is it that.
00:23:32
You want to do? Yeah. So how do people sustain living, designing their best life? How do you, you know? Because in the beginning, you have that session with them, and they're like, yeah, I'm feeling good.
00:23:48
I'm doing this. This is, oh, man, I'm in my zone. And then one day, a few days, like, I'm kind of losing what I had. And I remember you talking about something about motivation. Like, is it motivation that people think they should have in order to sustain that?
00:24:05
What is that? Wendy? Yeah, they do think that. They do think motivation. And people are often, I look out the window waiting for motivation to come and, like, whisk me up in it.
00:24:14
Like, why is it motivation here yet? I've been asking for it for some time. Right. The reality is when we create a life by design, and I'm really glad you asked this question, because what people misunderstand about success, and I'm going to talk about it as success, but we could talk about it as fulfillment, happiness, joy, is that it's a destination. Like, it's, I got to get to this place, and then I have it, but how do I hold it right?
00:24:40
The truth about it is sustainability comes from what you create as a lifestyle. So creating success by design or a life by design is about the entirety of the lifestyle. It's not just about, did I reach the next goal? Check. I got it.
00:24:56
Now I'm there, but where is there? I can't hold a finish line after a race. It was a moment right. I can't hold the promotion. It was a moment.
00:25:06
I was promoted. Now it's like what that next level people think is the destination. I just need to get there. I just need to get there. Or with my entrepreneurs, I just need my first ten k months or my 50k months or my hundred, whatever it is that there's this destiny, once I'm there, it'll all be great.
00:25:21
I'll be so happy. But the sustainability comes from the design of the entirety of your life. So the work that I do with my clients is about the whole. And when we treat, let's say for entrepreneurs, when we treat our business on its own like it was in a vacuum, we missed the mark significantly. But when we treat our business as a part of a whole system and we look at the entire system to see, is my life optimized?
00:25:52
Am I happy everywhere? Fulfilled or satisfied or working towards it as a whole? That's the sustainability. So people tend to shoot for one goal as a destination. You reach it, and then you're like, okay, now, oh, what do I.
00:26:05
But I'm not happy I reached the ten k mark or the. I'm not happy, though. What happened? Well, you treated this as like it exists in a vacuum. It does not.
00:26:15
It's part of the whole. So I just actually created a post today that was like, how happy you are will determine your next level of success. And they just think the destination will make me happy. Happiness is actually going to skyrocket my success. So it really.
00:26:32
The sustainability comes down to, what's the life you're living every day? Right? It's like living every day. The wake ups, the way you go through life, the goodbyes, the good nights, the closed down ceremonies you have with your day, whatever it is, the habits you have, the mindset you have, the strengths that you lean into, it's about the lifestyle. That's what it is.
00:26:52
That's the place that I think a lot of people misunderstand or they don't want it to be that complete. They just want to go for the one thing and hope that takes care of the rest. Yeah. Yeah. That reminds me of individuals who want to lose weight.
00:27:05
You know, it's like weight loss. Like, I want to lose weight and then they. I want to be ten pounds lighter or I want to lose this. And. And once they do, then, okay, that's it.
00:27:17
But if that's not their lifestyle, to be healthy, then they will gain their weight back, you know? So that's what it sounds like to me. You're like, okay, I'm done now. And then they find out, oh, my gosh, I've gained all my weight back. Because they're just focusing on that little one thing to lose weight rather than the totality of what it is that they really want to do.
00:27:39
So that's good. That was good.
00:27:45
If somebody wanted to, like, my clients want to change their life right now. They want to, you know, they have these obstacles, and they're just not feeling fulfilled. What should they start with? What's the first thing? Or right now, where should.
00:28:06
Where should they start? One of my favorite ways to make this very simple is to do a wheel of life assessment. Okay. And the wheel of life is just broken into separate categories of what life is about. So whether it's, you know, your relationship with yourself or romance or spirituality, career, money, health, this wheel of life will break down into different sections how satisfied or fulfilled you are in each area.
00:28:36
So when people come into my world and say, I'm not even sure what to change, I just know this isn't it, and I want this. Help me. Which is very common. Just help me get somewhere better. Doing this assessment really helps break down what's going really great right now in your life.
00:28:54
What are some areas that could be tweaked a little bit and tinkered with to help you feel better? And there may be a couple categories that seem very obviously that there's a big gap between where you are and where you want to be. And when you fill out this assessment and you look at your life as a whole, it gives you obvious answers, which are, of the biggest gaps are like, whoa, that's the biggest gap. That seems like an obvious place to start. But I don't encourage people to just start with what seems obvious.
00:29:21
I encourage people to start with what they desire the most, because that's where that initial motivation or desire for change is going to help started. So there could be a huge gap in one of the categories, but they're thinking, I don't even want to touch that. I don't want to go there. That sounds like so much work that's overwhelming. You don't have to go there.
00:29:41
Just start with the one that you look at your wheel of life, and you say, that's the one I feel pulled to work towards. Like, that's the one I feel pulled connected to. That's the one I want. Like, I want that right now. That's, what if I were to shift that, if I were to raise my score a couple of points in this one category, that would just make me feel so good.
00:30:01
That's where we want to start. And I say that that's an important distinction because people will fill out their assessment and then be like, now what? Well, you choose now what you can choose what you think you have the capacity to work towards, what you're excited to work towards, what has the biggest gap, that's your choice. But I often recommend for those who feel confused or overwhelmed by possibilities or the options in front of them to start with the one they feel most pulled to work towards. Like, just start simply there.
00:30:28
Okay. Okay. Now name those again. The wheel of life. Did you say, like, relationships could be one?
00:30:35
Yeah, relationships are one. So you can divide it into more categories, whether it's family, whether it's friendships, whether it's romance. There's a lot of different relationships that affect our overall fulfillment. So you can break those into more categories if you want. But.
00:30:49
But relationships is one of the categories. There's several. And career is one, health is one, money is one. So there are several that just help you look at your life very from a place. And I always say this, look at your life from a place of curiosity, not from judgment.
00:31:08
This isn't an exercise to make you feel bad about where you're not yet. This is an exercise to help give you some clarity. Because clarity allows us to move forward with ease. And when we don't have that clarity, it feels clunky and it doesn't feel efficient, which is my pet peeve. So we want it to be as effective and efficient as possible.
00:31:29
So we start with assessing these with curiosity, not with judgment. Okay, that's very good. I've never heard it like that. I love that because it's. You keep saying the totality of your life rather than just focusing on one thing.
00:31:46
And I think that's very important. Wendy, where can my listeners contact you? They want to get in touch with you. Yeah. I love that.
00:31:58
So the best place that I hang out the most is Instagram. So, Wendy O'Connor on Instagram. Come say hi, introduce yourself. I love meeting new people on Facebook is the same. Doctor Wendy O'Connor.
00:32:10
So those two places are great. Just dm me and say hello, and if there's anything I can answer or support you with, of course, I'm more than happy to. Okay. And another question that I have for you is, where do you see yourself? Like, what's next for you?
00:32:25
You're doing some great work. So I would say about the next three to five years, have you thought about what's next. What is it that you really want to accomplish? What's next for Doctor Wendy? This is a great question.
00:32:39
I'm a very now present girl. Like, I'm a very much like today, tomorrow, next week, this year. So the way I think about my life is really more short term. I think about where I am and what the next move is. Where I am and what the next move is.
00:32:57
I don't go so far in the distance that it feels like, very disconnected from where I am right now. Okay. Because I've noticed over the several years building my business that I change my mind. I learn as I go, so my wisdom shifts, my preferences change, my desires shift. So for me, it's like I feel even though I've established the business that I have and the success that I have, it still feels somehow like just the beginning.
00:33:25
So all I can say to that is I just feel like I'm just at the beginning of this next season chapter. I don't know what it looks like. It just looks like more excitements, more fulfillments. Like, it just more impact reaching more women, changing more lives. Like, I just.
00:33:41
As long as I have this, this passion and energy. Yeah. To keep going as what's just the next thing. Like, that's how I like to live. So three to five years, who knows?
00:33:54
But in the next several months, the question for me always is like, what's the next one thing? What's the next one move? What's the next one that's. That's kind of not tugging at me, but like. Like kind of whispering at me.
00:34:06
Like, what's the next thing? In my mind that's like, oh, wouldn't that be so fun? Wouldn't that be so cool? Wouldn't that be to just do the next one thing? That's where I'm at.
00:34:15
Okay. I like that. A bite at a time. So do you think there's a difference between goals versus a vision? I see vision as something, and I say vision and I picture something, right?
00:34:31
So I say vision, and. And then what I picture is like an overall ideal. My vision for my business or my vision for my life looks like this. Those are the words that follow it in my mind, it looks like this. I'm traveling the world, and I'm having as much time as my kids, with my kids, as I want.
00:34:50
And I have just abundance in all of my bank accounts and investments, and I have more time than I know what to do with. And I'm having so much fun. And my husband and I are just so happily married. And this is the vision for my life. Right.
00:35:05
And then there's goals. So the goals are, like, under this umbrella of a vision. Well, to get there, what would my goals be? Okay, well, my goal is to have a happy, really happy marriage. What does that look like?
00:35:19
Okay, so that looks like more date nights or that looks like more therapy, or that looks like we want more time together or boundaries around our phone use or. So it's like breaking it down. The vision for me is like the dream. Yes. It's the images that come to your mind as you picture what you really desire or what sounds amazing to you.
00:35:39
And then the goals are really about how you would get there. What would those milestones or steps be to kind of, like, take you up a ladder to this overarching cloud of a vision? That's how I see the difference. I asked that question because I said, where do you see yourself from three to five years? And you're like, well, I do, but I don't.
00:36:00
But I kind of take one step at a time, and I think people misconstrue this. Like, but this is my dream. I'm like, okay, but you have to break it down to, okay, take a piece of that dream, or the wheel, as you say, and let's break it down to a goal and work at that one step at a time. So that's why I asked that question, because many people say, well, I have this dream to do this, but they never think about, well, in order to accomplish that, what are the things you need? And we have to take a little at a time.
00:36:30
We can't take the whole thing at one time. That's right. Yeah, that's right. So that's how it blends together for me, because what I listen to is just my. My desire, my excitement, my intuition.
00:36:41
It's like, what's the next thing for me? And it could be any of those categories, but I let that be something organic from within myself, not something that I'm like, I should do this, or this should be the next thing, or I should kind of alternate between business goals and life goals and family. It's like you don't have to look at it as something that has to be all mapped out before you move. I encourage you to move at the next thing that excites you or interests you or pulls at you to move on. And then once you're moving on, that you decide, is there something else I want to invest energy and time into?
00:37:16
And if you do, you do. And, like, let it be light. Let it be fun. Let it be organic. But with the backbone of this framework, it's like, the framework is the foundation.
00:37:26
Right. So if we're using the fitness example, it's just like the lifestyle of the healthy woman is the foundation. Yeah, but. And that may include things like nutrition and hydration and exercise and sleep and mental health and all the pieces of. And right now, I feel really pulled to lean into nutrition.
00:37:44
So I'm going to increase protein this week and just focus there. And then after that, feels locked and loaded. I'm like, ooh, like, what's the next thing on my journey of, like, who I want to be? Yeah. Yes.
00:37:55
That's good. That's good. Wow. This was great. Dr. Wendy, I enjoyed this conversation.
00:38:01
I know my listeners have just learned so much, and I want to ask my listeners if you believe that this podcast about living a life by design is a value not only to you, but someone that you know, please forward it to them. And you also know that every Wednesday at 01:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, my podcast goes live. And this podcast you will hear also on all podcast platforms. And I'd like to thank Wendy.
00:38:34
I said the questions that I was going to ask, like, what can you tell my listeners? She's already told you a lot, so I don't think there's anything else right there. And another way, if you like. Wow, she went so fast. Rewind it back so you can hear, because not only what I called, what she provided was nuggets, but I hear that she did.
00:38:54
It sounds to me she provided diamonds. I mean, really gleaming, bright diamonds that you can take and use those. And so with that said, I just want to thank you, doctor Wendy, for your time, your insight, your diamonds, and you were a fabulous guest. And like I tell all my listeners, bye for now, and God bless you. And Wendy, thank you so much.
