00:00:25
Good day, all my listeners out there, and I'd like to welcome you again to is your way in your way podcast. And many of you are aware that that's the name of my debut book, is your way in your way. And this podcast, for those who, my new listeners that are unfamiliar with this podcast, this is about individuals that are ready to really move forward in their lives, do something different. But you need to, like, overcome some obstacles, mitigate those self, impose barriers like negative self talk, sabotage and imposter syndrome, procrastination. It's just a lot of things that we all experience at one time or another that we need to mitigate it, or in some cases, just end it and stop it.
00:01:10
So this podcast, we also talk about personal and business development and self improvement. And those are the topics we basically center this podcast around. And today I'm super excited because we have a guest on, and her topic is how to stop getting in your way. So I'm like, this is just perfect. So I'd like to introduce you to her right now.
00:01:37
Put her back, put her on stage. And this is Hilda Fainsod. Hi, Hilda. How are you today? So excited to be in this conversation because we have so many similarities in terms of maybe methodology, but clearly in terms of thoughts and ideas about overcoming when we get in our way, right?
00:02:04
Absolutely. So this is what I'm going to do. First, I'm going to read your bio so that my listeners will get to know you a little better before we take a deep dive into the conversation that we're going to have. So Hilda is dedicated to catalyzing personal and professional growth, empowering individuals and organizations to unlock performance and happiness with expertise in coaching, mastermind, and mental fitness. She holds ten.
00:02:34
Listen to this. Ten international certifications and has supported senior executives and teams for two decades. She's the author of Power up the executive Roadmap to transforming life and business, and she also challenges individuals to achieve lasting results. Beyond her work, she enjoys exploring new destinations, leisurely walks, meaningful conversations, and cherishing time with family. So that's who, that's part of who Hilda is.
00:03:07
So you have a synopsis of the things that she does, and you can tell that she has an accent. Hilda, would you tell my listeners where you're from? Yeah, I'm from Mexico. I'm so excited to be in an international podcast. Wow, that's amazing.
00:03:25
So you speak multiple languages, English, Spanish, and is there another language you speak? Not really. I speak a little bit of some of other languages, but a little bit. So my main language is Spanish, and I challenge myself to write a book in English. It's my first book in that language, and it's a huge challenge to begin to explore what is a global community.
00:03:56
Wow. That is an accomplishment, because I just got word that my book's gonna be translated into Spanish, and I think that's kind of interesting because I don't know any Spanish. So this will be really, really an interesting task. But I have things lined up and have friends that speak Spanish, and I'll let them read the draft and see how it's gonna turn out. So that's exciting, and I applaud you for your accomplishment writing it in English.
00:04:24
So, this is my question for you. One of the questions I like to know, what was life like before you became a coach, mastermind and mental fitness, like, what was going on with your life before that? Gosh, this is an amazing question. Thank you for asking. I was a trainer because I studied an educational career.
00:04:47
I believe in learning and improving, and I used to be a trainer, a trainer in topics like communication, leadership, personal development, that is. And I was on vacations with my daughter at that time, and we were in the swimming pool having a conversation, and she said, what do you want the next year for you? And I said, oh, gosh, thank you for asking. I'm just wondering what could be if I train myself to be a coach. Cause usually I train people.
00:05:31
I don't see them again. I remember, of course, I don't see them again, and I don't see transformation. I do my best, I share my methods and ideas, but I don't see change happen. So I would love to be a coach and to work one on one and to see how people from being in a place can be in another one and transform themselves. So that was a December 20 years ago.
00:06:04
I came into January and began to explore different kind certifications, and I get crazy, passionate, committed with transformation. So my life was so different, deeply in my values. I'm the same as 20 years ago, but I'm more improved, stronger, better. Yeah. And I have a better version of myself, and that's my inner work to share with others.
00:06:39
So, 20 years, I'm working one on one on teams, and I do have this. This catalyst spirit to allow people to see different and to do different. Wow, that's great. I'm glad she asked you that question. So, it sounds like even though you did a lot of training, you never saw the outcome, you know?
00:07:04
You know, the training probably went well, but you never saw them again. So this creates an opportunity for you to see their transformation, I guess, turn their dreams into reality. Oh, yeah. So, let me ask you, what are some signs that it's time for a life change with your clients? Okay.
00:07:24
Maybe you can begin with a question of how satisfied are you in life now? Okay.
00:07:33
Right now, that's interesting, because one of the questions I ask is, from a scale of one to 10,10, being the highest, where would you rate yourself and having your best life? And it's interesting because a lot of people aren't sure what their best life looks like. So when you ask them about being satisfied, does that open the door for them to talk about? What is it about their life that they're not satisfied with? Yeah, it opens the door and it begins to unfold.
00:08:05
A conversation about future. You don't like where you are now. Who do you want to become? Okay, that is a very strong and deep question. So I don't use usually that in the beginning.
00:08:21
Right. I begin with care to explore dreams and aspirations to explore how. How fulfilled do you feel in life? And if you don't, how seems a better life for you. Mm hmm.
00:08:39
Mm hmm. So, okay, so, Hilda, what is. What's the difference between your dream versus your goals? Okay. Dream is a big, big, big one.
00:08:51
Aspiration and goals is put that into specific stuff that you can manage. Because if I said I want to be in the global market, that is a dream. Okay. Our goal is to begin to explore what's a global market and where exactly and how to do that, so that become small goals to achieve a big dream. Okay?
00:09:21
All right. And if an individual says that they want to be this in the global market, then from that dream, you can turn it into goals because it has to be small steps. So that dream could turn into a goal. And you do, like, bite size goals. Is that how that works?
00:09:41
Yeah, it works perfectly that way, because neuroscience teach us that. With great changes came a big fear. So if we fear, we stop doing and we get in our way. Right. We are the one that stop ourselves for completing and achieving.
00:10:06
So we need to find a big goal. I love big goals, but you need to find a big one and choke it into pieces. And after that, piece by piece. Right? Okay.
00:10:19
So you're right about fear. And I think there a lot of people may want to do this big dream and everything, but is it so. So it's fear, but how do you help them overcome it? Or. We never really overcome fear, but, okay, I do.
00:10:41
I do know more about fear in those. In those two years because I began to study what gets in our way. We usually have an inner critic, an inner voice that stop us and say, gosh, a book in English. You must be kidding. You speak Spanish.
00:11:05
You are not good enough in English to do a book in English. Maybe you are good in what you do, but a global market is too much. You know your market, so stick to your market. So we have an inner critic that prevents us from changing, but we need to begin by getting awareness of our inner voice. And if we pay attention, we can stop it, not to interfering with ourselves.
00:11:43
And that way, if we stop our hyper achiever, or our victim, or our procrastinator, or our perfect or our rational self that questions a lot and stop us from really engaging with something, if we stop of them, we can begin to have some mental exercises to get a different pattern in our brain. And after that, to use our best talents we can explore from a different place. And a different place is not the place of fear, anxiety, guilt, or shame, or feeling insufficient. No. A better place is to explore possibilities.
00:12:41
Okay. Okay. I have, like, in my book, I kind of talk about some things that can get in your way. Like, I talk about low self esteem, your childhood, your past, you know, things that happened in your past. And you said that, first of all, you have to become aware of what that is.
00:13:04
So I'm curious, though, and I can imagine when you share that you were gonna transcribe your book into English and people indicating, how are you gonna do that in your first language is Spanish. What did you tell your inner critic and how did you overcome that and just do it? Like, what was that process like? Well, this is a great question. Cause I usually, when I sit and write, I bring to myself some.
00:13:39
Some resources. So I begin, like, flow, focus, and join. These are my three personal resources to put myself into. Into the task of writing a book. So when I sit every morning or when I have time to write a little bit, some words, I began like, okay, my three resources, so joy, flow, and focus.
00:14:09
Perfect. After that, I began with some anxiety, with stress. And I recognize my own saboteurs there because I do have two of them. That and my biggest inner critic, a hyper achiever. Not an achiever is a hyper.
00:14:34
So I took it really far. Yeah. And the second one is a perfectionist. Yes. Oh, my goodness.
00:14:44
I want everything. And I want everything perfect. So I get crazy. Yes, I get crazy. And I felt here in my chest that kind of stress.
00:14:58
And when I began that experiencing stress, I stopped my hyper achiever. And I do have a conversation with it. My hyper achiever has a name attack and his name is Pusher because I feel that pushes me. Okay, take me. It pushes me.
00:15:22
So I said, okay, pusher, stop. From that place, not from the place of anxiety because I have better resources than that. Right? Stop. And I begin to breathe.
00:15:38
Okay? For a moment, release the tension. And after that I stop writing and I begin like, let's explore how do I want to do this? Okay. And I began with, okay, maybe a little music, maybe hear the 25 minutes of focus.
00:16:03
And after that a break, something that can help me. But I actually talk with my inner voice. Wow, that's interesting because you know, you know how in your mind you say something and you may say it, but you never respond, you never talk because people think you're kind of weird if you talk to yourself. But I'm hearing that you've given it a name, you know? And I think that makes a difference.
00:16:32
It makes a difference because in the moment that you take out from your mind that saboteur and you put outside and you name it, you reduce power over it. So it's not anymore the saboteur running the show. Right. Yourself, talking with your inner critic to stop and to find out how can you move from a different place to achieve better? It's, it's.
00:17:09
And I learned that from Shirsa chamin. And he says two things that I love. Performance. That companies and high top executive like performance. And it's a game of results, but also happiness.
00:17:28
It's performance with well being. Not only crazy, performance is feeling right also. Okay. All right, so how do you. How do you get your clients?
00:17:43
Like what propels them to seek you out? Say it again. Like for example, when you said, like when you said that, you ask somebody how satisfied they are. But how do you get clients? I mean, why do they hire you?
00:18:03
Like, what's going on for them to hire you? Is it because you are they referrals because you worked in the industries for so long? These are individuals that you know, like, how do they find you? Yeah, I do have big clients and I do have the privilege that work with them for a few years. Okay, so a client have an executive that needs coaching or a team that needs mastermind or they have a project and they need to support people towards success or they want to increase capabilities in somebody.
00:18:49
And that's why they know I'm a top executive leadership coach. So every time it's a matter of leadership, of performance and happiness, they know I can be a catalyst for that. Okay, now you mentioned mastermind. What. What's the difference between the coach and the mastermind?
00:19:11
Gosh, it's a good one. In coaching, you use your personal resources as an executive. So I ask you a deep question, and you will bring out your answers. And if you don't have the answer, you will see differently, and you will have, you will create a possibility. And in mastermind is a growing process, too, but you get the insights of others in the room.
00:19:47
Is like being in a table of smart experts that can see what you are not seeing, and they give you ideas, best practices, share contact. They share what they know. So that way, what you don't see, they allow you to see with their recommendations. So it's not as coaching. You use your own talents in mastermind.
00:20:22
You use other talents in the room. Oh, okay. So it's a group. It's in group. It's a group.
00:20:34
How open are they with that, you know? So when you get started, how does that work? Like, what's the process when you get in a group, everybody gets in the room, and then what happens? Yeah, I do. I do have a kickoff.
00:20:49
So I explain what mastermind is and what is to work with others and to use their talents and to add to their experience, others experience. And I put some rules. This is a generosity process. So you give your best to others in order to have success, and others will do the same. Okay, so I explained the process before.
00:21:18
I do have a one on one session with a person, with each person before the team, the team mastermind session. And that way I allow people to reflect in their problems and opportunities, in what's going on with them, what they want to improve and to think if they are with such amazing guys, so smart and experienced, what they want to work and what they are going to ask the group, for example, I want to go to a global community, so I want your best ideas of how to deal with that because I don't have any idea. So the process begins, giving ideas and building on different, different best practices and experiences and contacts. I know, who do you need to speak with? They give everything.
00:22:27
And after that, you begin to receive those ideas and you make a plan, and for the next month, you put into practice those, those ideas. So it's a growing process as coaching. So different because the methodologies. Right. Okay.
00:22:52
Now, I was reading somewhere when we were talking about people have habits and you can change them. So what are some ways habits can be changed? Like, for example, you know, there's a habit or an addiction that people get on social media. That's part of their day, and they spend so much time wasted getting on social media. It could be like procrastination, that negative self talk.
00:23:18
So what are some ways those habits can be changed? Yeah. The first thing we need to remove those counter mindset, for example, I do have when we get in our way, is because we think we cannot change. Change is difficult. That's impossible.
00:23:42
I tried so many times and I couldn't accomplish. It's better not to make mistakes twice. That's a counter mindset that stop innovation because you don't want to make mistakes. So we need to place in ourselves a proper mindset and we need to forget about, is there a shortcut, is there a simple way, something that doesn't imply very much? To me, 20 days is enough, I think.
00:24:24
No, you need to think in long term, not in those shortcuts that we love. We, as society love quick fixes. And a habit is not a quick fix, is a huge investment. Time and practice every day a small, tiny step, but every day, don't skip the practice, because we are, Cassandra. We are what we practice, not what we say.
00:24:59
We can say a bunch of things in life. Yes, don't do anything. We are what? Good practice. So that's the way of building a hobby.
00:25:10
But forget about the 21 days or the 66 days or the thousand hours. Is it takes what it takes, and sometimes it takes a lot. Okay, so how does that methodology work? Like, it could be a one on one client or it could be your mastermind clients. And how did you, how do they, how do you help them figure out what habit that they have that's preventing them or that's getting in their way?
00:25:45
How do they, how do you go about that with them? Yeah, actually, they begin with this awareness process, and they sometimes they don't accomplish what they say. And the question was, you said it matters to you, so why you didn't accomplish? And better tell me, what kind of pattern or blocker or stopper or saboteur is there in your way? Because if matters, what you didn't accomplish.
00:26:26
So that way you begin to increase awareness and self conscious is the first step to try to change something in life. So we begin from there. Okay. And to find out that, okay, it happened again. Is this a pattern?
00:26:45
Can you define what or who gets in your way? And the answer always is, I am. I'm the one. That's right. Nobody else.
00:26:59
Can't blame anybody but yourself, that you're responsible. That's right. And to know it. Yeah. You talked about you supporting people to unlock their full potential.
00:27:12
How do you do that? Is it that roadmap to transforming that? Like how do you, how do you support people, empower them to unlock their full potential? Yeah. First, the question is not which is the next goal, because sometimes we mark the goal when we complete and we don't follow through anymore.
00:27:36
For example, I want to raise a half marathon. Okay. It's in my bucket list. I do that. I train a lot, I run so much.
00:27:48
And when I complete, I put the mark. I feel amazingly well. And I don't go to the gym the next day and the next week I cover it. So I forget. So it's not a goal is who do you want to become?
00:28:09
Because if you want to become a healthy person, it's not only a half marathon. Right. It's to it. Well, to have maybe some wellness practices. So you need to find something that is bigger and relevant for you.
00:28:32
That's the first step to understand who do you want to become and what do you care in life? And that question needs to be often with you because in different seasons in life, we need and we want differently. Yeah. I don't want the same in my twenties and thirties and I don't want the same in my fifties or sixties. Right.
00:28:59
So to question yourself in who do you want to become and what do you want in this stage in life? And began with, after that, with clear goals and with practices to make it happen and to sustain in the long run. I like that we are on a diet for 21st day and the 22nd with a cake. No, no. In the long run, to become a healthy person is different than to reduce three pounds.
00:29:39
Exactly. Exactly. Now, do you find your clients having trouble figuring out what it is they want to become? Like how do you, how do you get that out of them? What do you, what process do you use for that?
00:29:51
Yeah, I do use a lot of examples. Okay. And just easy examples. For example, is not the same to do a diet and to become a healthy person is not the same to be, to live with wellness, with well being, than to go crazy in a crazy speed to achieve some results. So I put some examples.
00:30:22
One of my clients that was that the company changed something big. He decided to become this kind of leader. Do you have some ideas of who as a leader, do you need to be in those projects that you company are in? So I do have this conversation of exploring, exploring until something makes sense to me. I like that.
00:30:57
I like that a lot. So it's kind of like, what do they, who do they want to become rather than just a goal because like you said, I want to lose weight. After they lose weight, then that's it. And then they may gain weight again the next month because they stopped doing what they were doing. So I love, I love that concept.
00:31:17
You have helped. I know many people transform. What has that been like? Give us some examples, my listeners. Like what?
00:31:29
Like maybe some testimonies that your clients have had. Like, how were they and what are they looking like now? Like, what changes have you seen? Yeah, I do change. I do see change.
00:31:43
And that's the best part of my job, to be a witness of transformation. But, for example, I do have a top executive. He's really very top. And he was in a big moment that, okay, I finally get what my team doesn't get the results expected because they don't have the capabilities. So that way I cannot deliver the results that are committed to the company.
00:32:12
So he began that process and we work to make him aware of is complaining, taking to the place you need to be. And he said, oh, gosh, no. Okay, what is going to take you to that place and what is doing your best version? Knowing this victim place that, okay. The company didn't say the truth when they give me that challenge and that team, this is a victim place.
00:32:50
So how are you when you are in your best shape and they become like, oh, my goodness. Yes. Right. Okay. In my best shape, I do this and that.
00:33:04
And I saw, I do have a client that he said in a post it note, I put use my personal resources and I stick it to the computer. And that way, in a different moment, when I will be in a victim place, I will move from that, recalling that I have my best resources to use it and to overcome what's in the way. That is transformation. The way they see life, the way they live life, the way they lead others, the way they recognize themselves, those are great transformations. Because I asked one of my clients, you save millions to the company, right?
00:34:06
So how did you recognize yourself? And he said, oh, no, I don't do that. And I said, gosh, tell me why? And he said, because if I recognize myself, I will go to a comfort zone. I said, okay, tell me what are you thinking about?
00:34:29
Because I don't see your point. I saw it so differently. So he told me the story, and after that, we changed that story. Okay. To understand that if you recognize for a moment yourself, you put yourself, your best capabilities to go for the next project, but you need to stop for a moment and say, congrats, right?
00:35:01
Amazingly. Right. So he felt that he would be complacent if. Yeah. Okay, so he didn't want to give himself, well, he gave himself Grace, however, he just didn't want to, I guess, take all the accomplishments among himself.
00:35:18
And he had to do that for himself, not for you. Yeah, for himself. That's right. Okay. Okay.
00:35:26
Now, so the roadmap to, you have a roadmap to transforming life and business. What's that roadmap? There's steps, processes, I'm sure. Yeah. And let me tell you something first, Cassandra.
00:35:44
I sell life and business because usually we split our personal from our professional life and we don't need to split anything. Okay. It's life. That's right. But okay.
00:36:00
It makes sense to others to find out that we need to speak about life and business, but it's the same because you are the one that are in your life and part of your time are in your business. I like that because people say, do not bring your personal stuff to work. You hear that all the time. But that's a bring it to work. It's like managing it when you get to work.
00:36:28
Okay. How are you going to manage yourself to being your best possibilities? But you cannot throw away and close the door to the other part of your life because it's in you. That's right. So how do I do that in the roadmap?
00:36:49
Yeah, I begin with defining what matters to you and your goals and your practices and your practices and to check in with yourself. When I wrote this book, I made a calendar and I put a mark every time I write some, some words. And when I saw my calendar, March was half empty and it was an inside moment, like, oh my goodness, if I want to write a book, this is not the way. So I need to improve my practices and to keep going in order to get results. So a practice and to check in with yourself and to change your mindset.
00:37:46
Because mindset is everything. You set a mindset, as you said, the dress or the coat you want for your day, and you need to tell your mind how to behave. That's why I decided to focus and to enjoy the book. Focus and joy were two of the main resources I put to my mind. And after that you need to stick to it every day.
00:38:24
And James clear is very good at that. James Clear said in atomic habits that you can hang up one habit from another one. And it's a very, very smart and easy practice. Example, I came every morning from the gym. I put the coffee to have my coffee and the dripping is like a two minutes process.
00:38:54
So in those two minutes, I can have a gratitude practice. I see the coffee dropping. Okay. I can use my mind. And I began like, okay, this morning I want to say thank you for this and that.
00:39:12
And I hung from the practice of preparing my coffee. I hang up another practice. That is a gratitude moment, those two minutes. So it's a way to recall yourself that doing this, you can do that also. Okay, so let me.
00:39:38
Let me take it. So the roadmap to transforming, you said you have to define what it is that you want first. Yeah. First is your care.
00:39:50
Okay? Want to become. And then what's your next road? What's the next step on the roadmap? Practice.
00:39:58
Practice is everything. If I say, okay, I begin to go to the gym on Monday, I will lose because I need to do something today. Okay. It's not only the decision is decision plus action. Okay, so my first action is with Jim, right?
00:40:24
How do I need to pay? How do I sign up? Do I have my shorts and my sneakers ready? Or do I need to buy a tank top? So, to those small steps until I will be there on Monday morning.
00:40:41
Okay. So when I decide something, I need to do an action, right? Every time an action. And that becomes a small practice. Until the small practice becomes a reality in your life.
00:40:59
Right. You have a reality in your life. You are going in the best way to overcome what's in there. Okay. I like that.
00:41:10
I like that. Um, wow, that's, that's interesting. So you do that roadmap in your, even your mastermind or your one on one. Okay. So that's when.
00:41:24
Okay. All right. Now, you have had what I saw. You have different services. One is coaching, mastermind, performance and happiness.
00:41:37
And you have corporate membership. Yeah, corporate membership. I love it. For my clients, the one that knows my services, and they pay for a fee, an annual fee. And their executives come, like, for four master classes in a year or three.
00:42:04
Masterminds for one on one coaching. Sometimes it's created, okay. Keep yourself working into improving your capabilities. And the best way also is a long run, is not a training, is a series of events that will take you wherever you want to be. Okay.
00:42:29
Okay. I love that. That's a great idea. So they can keep the momentum with what they've learned. Right.
00:42:39
Well, this has been great. I'd like for you to some words to my listeners who know that this is the time for a change, and they are stuck, okay. Because they are in their way. Where tell my listeners, where would they start to get unstuck. Like, you know, they're in their way.
00:43:01
They know it's time for a change, but they're not quite sure what it is. So what would you tell them? Yeah, my best times, Cassandra, I can tell, are when somebody helps me, a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner. When I share my dreams and aspirations, my blockers and stuffers, when I share with somebody, that person supports me. So a coach is amazing and also a mentor.
00:43:41
If you have a mentor in your company or in your life, and an accountability partner is easy. I want to reduce pounds and you want the same. Okay, let's build together a plan and a practice and to check in to the other person and to support and to push and to motivate and to impulse. So my best times is when I do that. Great.
00:44:12
So in other words, you can't do anything by yourself. You need the support. Yeah, it is, but it's tougher and harder. And when you stop, you need to remove and to move yourself by yourself. If you have somebody that see what's happening to you and help you allow you to unstuck in a moment.
00:44:41
Maybe. Have the energy or the possibility or the solution or the motivation that you needed to move a little bit. Yes, yes. Awesome. Excellent.
00:44:53
If not, we began with the complaint a whole week, and I don't fit very well in my coach. No, no, no. Okay. And when that complaint begins, we drop it. Right?
00:45:12
That's right. Don't do anything else with it. That's right. Exactly. We need somebody there.
00:45:18
Right. Okay. Excellent. Excellent. Well, I could.
00:45:23
We could talk all day. I love this conversation. And you have given some great points, how to stop getting the. Getting in your way. And this was just perfect for this, for this podcast today.
00:45:37
And I just want to thank you. Tell my listeners how they could get in touch with you. Yeah, they can touch with me in my website, Hildafineso.com, and they can go to Amazon.com and buy power up executive roadmap to transforming life and business. And I'm, as Hilda finds out, on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, and they can find me and we can keep the conversation, because when we want to change, we need to keep our conversation and our practices right. Excellent.
00:46:19
Excellent. Well, I just want to thank you so much for your time. I know my listeners have enjoyed this. And my listeners, you know that I am on this podcast is on every Wednesday, live at 01:00 p.m. Eastern standard time.
00:46:35
And also, my listeners, if in fact, you found this podcast of value, this particular topic today, how to stop getting in your way. Please share it. It's on all platforms, all social media platforms is also on all podcast platforms. And it's on YouTube. It'll be on YouTube as well.
00:46:57
So again, as many of you know, I don't say bye bye. I say bye for now because you'll hear from me again. And, Hilda, again, thank you so much. And I want to thank my listeners for listening. And God bless you all.
