EP#12: Is Perfectionism Sabotaging Your Success?
Welcome to the Make Money Living Your Purpose Podcast. I'm Prosperity Coach Karen Powell and this is the podcast for heart-centered leaders, innovators and creatives who dream of leaving their nine-to-five to pursue their passion project but don't know where to start. I'm sharing my proven process that will help you heal your money mindset and figure out your own unique purpose in life. Let's go!
Hey there, welcome to episode 12. Wow, what a ride this has been. I launched the podcast two weeks ago and it's been crazy. We have ranked in the top 100 podcasts in Great Britain, Australia, Germany, well, right at 101 in Germany, Austria, Colombia, and South Africa and at 161 in the United States. And at the time I'm recording this, we are still ranking at number one of all podcasts in Namibia. So just a huge thank you to you because it's only from you listening to the show, following the show, downloading the episodes, your five-star ratings and reviews. I mean, just incredible.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and all your love. Your feedback's been amazing and I'm just so thrilled with how much people are enjoying the content. And really this successful launch that we've just experienced — and I say we because it's me and you my community who are creating this momentum. I mean I could have just put some episodes out and hoped people would listen — but what's happened is because you've engaged so powerfully with the show, it has become more discoverable for other people.
And that's really the point of the whole thing, is that people who are looking for this kind of content, this kind of guidance to make the changes in their lives that they've been wanting to make, that they can access it, that they can learn the tools and the process for healing the blocks that have been standing in their way, so that they can start creating the abundance and the prosperity that they want and ultimately to be living in your unique purpose, right? Doing that thing that helps others, that impacts others. And that's what this is all about. It's this ripple effect that is the whole point of the podcast and of the work that I do. So thank you for being such a huge part of this momentum.
All right, so having just done something really out of my comfort zone launching this podcast I thought this would be a good time to talk about perfectionism because perfectionism is something that I see in my clients, high achievers like you, people who care like you and me. We care about what we're doing, what we're putting out in the world. We have high standards. We care about doing things properly.
And what I see in this quality that we have is not only the caring side of it, the high standard side of it, but the blockage side of it, the side of perfectionism that is working against us. And here's what I mean by this: perfectionism has a dark side to it where you may think that your high standards and insistence that something you create is not just good, but excellent and the absolute best it could be. What this dark side of perfectionism brings is actually a huge block when it comes to the creative process and you creating the impact that you want to make with your work.
So I'm what I call a recovering perfectionist, which just means someone who's aware that they've let their perfectionism get in the way of getting things done and that they're working on that. Perfectionism can actually be a sneaky way that your subconscious tries to keep you safe: safe from exposure, safe from ridicule, safe from being judged, safe from being criticized. If I can't do it perfectly, which would mean having complete control over every aspect of this project, whatever the thing is that you want to create and put out there, then I'm not going to do it at all. And it's not worth doing at all.
Some of us had parents or teachers who said that saying, if you're not going to do it well, then just don't do it at all. And we took that as if you're not going to do it perfectly, then you might as well not do it at all. And here's where this belief will sabotage you over and over and over again and not actually let you live out your true purpose. Do that thing that you would love to do. The belief that you have to do it perfectly will just keep stopping you in your tracks. And here's the thing. The creative process is messy. It is very imperfect. And as much as you'd like to think that you have control over it, it cannot be controlled.
So let me give you an example: I launched my podcast two weeks ago with 10 episodes. I wanted people to have something to come back to or binge if they wanted to and not have to wait a whole week for another taste of it, but really just get a good feel for what the show is about so they could decide, yes, I want to follow the show. Now, I'm not a super techie person at all; I'm just learning this stuff as I go along fumbling my way through this learning curve. And the night before the launch, I go and upload my 10 episodes. I get them all scheduled out so they're ready to go early the next day.
And if you've been listening to the show, you probably know that this is a journey and the topics and the episodes build on each other. I reference past episodes and I'm laying out a journey to healing your blocks and creating your dreams. Right, so morning of the launch I go into Apple podcasts. So excited. My podcast is live. Can't wait to see it there. And to my absolute — I don't want to say horror, that's a little dramatic — to my absolute dismay, I see the episodes stacked up like this in this order: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 7, 6, 10, 9.
Now, can you imagine? I wanted to cry; I uploaded them in order. I waited between episodes to make sure something like this wouldn't happen. Now, if you're a perfectionist, you're cringing with me right now. So I'm talking to my fellow perfectionists today, you feel me? You know what I'm feeling here. If you're not a perfectionist you might know someone who ticks some of the boxes that I talk about in this episode, and maybe you can understand better or maybe even throw them a lifeline.
So seeing the order of those 10 episodes all scrambled up I'm cringing, already feeling exposed with launching my podcast, but now it's looking so messy to me. Right. Full-mode perfectionist Karen would have deleted all the episodes, postponed the launch and felt horrible about myself. But like I said, I'm recovering. So I'm aware that deep down I'm already feeling insecure, nervous, exposed, bracing for criticism, embarrassed, lots of different feelings and emotions when you put something you've created out into the world, right?
And your armor, that part of you that wants you to believe that you can control what other people think of you, will try to convince you to retreat, convince you to scrap it, delay it, tweak it, make it more perfect, fix it, so others can't see the flaws, your flaws. But I didn't delete them; I just let them be. I let them sit there all jumbled up for days while I tried to figure out what the hell was happening. Because by the way, Spotify had them in order. So I was very confused on why it was only happening in Apple podcasts.
Do you know how uncomfortable it is for a perfectionist to sit with something so messy, to just sit in that mess and try not to freak out? So after doing some research and asking people and I asked my editor — thank you, John — he gave me the solution and I was able to fix it. And they're all beautifully in order now, one through 10. But there are other things that are still messy, and I'm not going to point them out, but know that there are a lot of pieces of this project that I'm figuring out as I go along. And I can only see that they need attention because they're out in the world, because I went ahead and launched imperfectly. And from that place, I can make adjustments, possibly make some things better but also allow some things to just be imperfect and move on.
And that's good enough. And the show is already giving value to people. People are sending me updates already on how things are shifting in their lives, what's changing, what they're learning from what I'm sharing. And I could have waited until the day everything was perfect, which by the way, never would have come. In The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron says ‘Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop, an obsessive, debilitating, closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole.’
So this is where you want to start gaining some awareness of how you might be allowing yourself to sabotage yourself under the guise of your high standards or justify not doing something or not launching something because it's not quite perfect yet. And I want to invite you now to grab your journal or a piece of paper and write down this sentence to finish right after this episode ends: ″The real reason I'm afraid to ______ (fill in the blank of the thing that you've been wanting to do — write your book, launch your YouTube channel, pursue your dream career, whatever it is) is because what?
And just let yourself free write for a few minutes. Don't just look at the first thing you write. The real reason is going to be hidden a little deeper than that. So purge your thoughts onto the paper and let them flow out. And then you can rip up the paper afterwards so nobody sees it, but you'll have touched a place that is ready to be healed and released from your body, your mind, your psyche, and you'll be one huge step closer to actually achieving what you really want to achieve.
Because the real issue that is presenting itself to you when you want things to be perfect or really good or completely in line with your high standards is that your creativity needs you to let go of control in order to fully unfold. And letting go of control is really difficult for perfectionists. We try to tell ourselves that it's important to make something really perfect. It's important to only put our best out. It's important to have high standards and high expectations of ourselves.
And we'll drive this point home and justify why it's so important to produce only the best work, only the cleanest outcomes. But the result of that is either (a) you have a very stifled, contrived, unoriginal version of what was trying to come through you, or (b) you have nothing at all because you refuse to put anything out.
So how do we navigate this? How do you move forward into your creative projects even though you don't quite feel ready or things are feeling messy or not exactly the way you'd like them to feel? What's important to know about the creative process is that action informs the next step. So the outcome of one step informs the next step. You can't get an outcome without an action first. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know this is challenging.
It's not easy to keep moving forward when things start getting messy. But what I've learned through my own experience and what I've witnessed over and over with my clients is that once you're clear on what you want and why you want it, then life will start to feed you your next steps. Things will start unfolding for you. Providence steps in and starts handing you what you need next. And momentum starts rolling and life starts flowing.
But if you stop taking those steps that are naturally unfolding for you, you put your creativity into a stranglehold. You choke it off and you don't allow it to blossom into what it really could be. There's a saying, perfectionism is a gilded cage. You believe it's golden and beautiful, but really it's a prison that keeps you and your creative projects locked up.
So the next time you sense perfectionism trying to slow you down or convince you that you're not quite ready yet, consider that what really might be happening is you're actually getting ready to do something that will propel you forward. And that's scary. It might feel like you should tweak and fix and prepare more, but what's really being called to the table now is the act of letting go. Letting go of needing everything to be perfectly in place. Letting go of needing to know the exact outcome. Letting go of control. And that is not easy and it can be messy and it might require you to sit in the mess with others seeing you inside the mess.
And that's okay. It's in these places where you learn really what to do next. You get the information about what's most important next. And you learn trust in life and in yourself. And you learn that you aren't meant to control the outcome that you're actually off the hook and that your only job is to take the next inspired step and allow your project to unfold messy and imperfectly perfect.
Did this episode resonate with you or do you know someone who's shooting themselves in the foot with their high standards? Send them this link. You might just help them to finally let go of perfectionism and get their passion project out into the world where it belongs.
Thank you so much for being here. You don't want to miss any of the pieces that we're putting together here. So be sure to subscribe to the show by clicking the follow button and let's continue this journey together. We're becoming aware of the sneaky ways we try to keep ourselves feeling safe and we're replacing those with small but bold action steps that will create huge results in our lives. When you heal your money blocks and step into your life's purpose, you become a force for good in the world. I'll see you next time.
If you're ready to start creating the lifestyle of your dreams, I want to invite you to join GPS, my Gratitude Practice for Success program, where you'll learn my unique and proven manifesting process. It's simple, it's powerful, and it's already helping hundreds of people go from thinking their dreams were impossible, to making them happen quickly. Whether you want to manifest your dream home, your soulmate, a brand new career living your life's purpose, or even financial freedom, it's yours to claim now. Just head over to kcpowell.com/gps and I will show you how.
