We are meant to be moving, adapting forceful creatures. So by ignoring. That innate, that inborn need to move. You're doing yourself a great disservice, not only physically but mentally.
Welcome to the Hertz Like a Mother podcast, where we celebrate the joys and pains of motherhood to share the message that we aren't alone in this journey. I am Megan Hansen, mom to six-year-old triplets registered nurse and certified integrative health coach. Hey. Hey everybody. Thank you for coming back for another episode of Hurts Like A Mother. This is a very special episode. This is a post Disneyland vacation episode. I feel a little off kilter because I've been with my family for an entire week. essentially minimal breaks, no school. And I am a creature of habit, a creature of routine.
So I feel super off , but we are making a comeback. Tomorrow is Monday. I'm getting my routine back in order. We're gonna be feeling good and working well. . But until then, I have something on my mind that I think is super pertinent and I'm just gonna share with you because I share everything with you. , you are my stand in therapy session, so I appreciate you listening to what I have to say because.
I keep forgetting to go find a therapist, so until then, you're gonna be my therapist, so I appreciate that. Send me your bill if you are looking for a super upbeat, positive rah rah episode. This one is not for you. I'll just be brutally honest. , and that's okay. I will have those coming in the future. And , if you have ideas for those super upbeat episodes, let me know.
I'll be happy to oblige and share with you. But tonight I am in a little bit of a funky head space, which you know, we all have been there. Am I right? . So I wanted to talk to you about a different kind of mom guilt that I experience every now and then. It comes in waves. Some months I don't experience it as much.
Some months, I definitely do. I definitely am in that season, this week right now that I feel this kind of mom guilt. Now, normally when we hear mom guilt, I think of the usual guilt, the feeling that's associated. When you know you're leaving your kids for a while and you feel guilty leaving them and you feel guilty being at work away from them, or you feel guilty maybe going out for dinner away from your husband or away from your family, you feel guilty taking time for yourself.
This is not the kind of guilt I'm talking about. I have zero problem leaving for a little self-care time. I have no problem with that. The guilt I'm referring to. Is the guilt that I should actually be enjoying being a mom more. Now, this is kind of a hard truth, but it is my reality right now and I figure if it is my reality, surely there is someone out there who also can commiserate with this.
And honestly, as I was thinking about what I was gonna say, , one of my first thoughts was I should not talk about this, which, which means I actually do need to talk about this because , the first sign that you're going in the right direction is when you reach resistance, and I felt that resistance, but I decided to just talk about it anyways, I'm gonna give you some fun facts about myself.
I am the type of mom who doesn't necessarily enjoy spending a lot of time with her kids. Yes, I will gladly have one-on-one time, take one of them to the grocery store, teach them how to cook, how to bake. I love it. That is great. But you as my child, ask me to get on the ground and play with you. Ooh, that's a hard pass.
For some reason, I don't. Will I do it a few minutes here and there? No, but it pains me to my soul to get down on the ground and play with my children. I'll get down on the ground, I'll squat with you. I'll teach you how to squat. I'll do like a physical activity, but what is that, ? And if you have any words of wisdom or guidance on on why this is, please tell me.
I would love to hear if there's like science behind it because man, . I used to play with my Barbies until I was really, I was way too old to be playing with Barbies. When I stopped playing with Barbies, I was like a 12 year old playing with Barbies probably. I freaking love those things. But now to play Barbies with my daughter, uh, I dunno what it is.
Is it the fact, and I ask these things to myself, is it the fact that there are three of. all the same age. Is this the reason why I don't enjoy motherhood? Is it the fact that I think if there was just one of them, there would be way less bickering. Less arguing, less complaining, less fighting. When I get three of my children in the kitchen at the same time and I'm trying to cook, and they're poking fun at each other, they're picking on each other.
They're tattle tail. It completely ruins. It ruins the five man . It's not fun. So maybe it's the sheer number of children. But on the other hand, I have a dear friend who I am Marco Polo with all the time. She has six children. They're all different ages, but she has a large number of children. and she always talks about how she actually tries to not work as much because she wants to be at home with the family.
And I'm on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I'm trying to work more to essentially not spend as much time with my family. So, . I don't know what that is. If it's a difference in personality, it's if it's a season of life, I'm going through, this is all rhetorical. I don't have the answers for you, but here's what I do have the answers for.
If I were to have one of my clients come to me and they're having these same issues, here's what I would tell them, and these are actually the exact things that I'm gonna be working on this week, because I know they're. So if I had a client come to me and they're talking about being overwhelmed, stressed, not enjoying X, Y, and Z, here's what we would talk about number one time away.
And I've talked about this at great lengths in the past because it is so helpful to step away. Work on whatever you need to work on for yourself. That way when you can come back to the family unit, you are refreshed, you are energized, , you carry less of a heavy mental load and you're ready to have more enjoyable time with your family.
That is exactly why I think I'm in this head space currently, cuz I have not had time away. Yes, I have had. A 20 minute car ride by myself to go to the grocery store or go get coffee. That doesn't count like I need. For me personally, I need hours of time where I'm not focused on anybody else's needs but my own.
That is my personal need, and I have not had that this week. So I know for me personally, I need time away to recharge, regroup, and come. With a better positive attitude. Number two, meditation, prayer. These are amazingly wonderful things if you're going through not just a tough time but daily life to help keep you grounded and centered.
And if this sounds too crazy, all you have to do is to start is literal. Find a comfortable spot. I love to sit personally on the ground with my back against the wall somewhere and close my eyes. And all I do is I focus on deep inhales and exhales and just focusing on breathing. And if I find my mind racing, I just focus in on the breathing and when I want a more tructure.
Quiet session. I will break open my favorite YouTube meditation, , channel cuz they have five to 10 minute meditations on there. I'm gonna link them, link this YouTube channel in the show notes because I've honestly been using, it's a free YouTube channel and I've been using them for like, over a year and it's phenomenal.
It's quick, it's easy, you feel. amazing every single time. If you have something on your mind, it helps you clear the weight of whatever's on your mind. It's great. So I'm gonna, um, put it in the show notes, check it out. If you try them out, let me know. And the third piece is a movement routine. There is not a single human being on the planet that cannot benefit from.
We are built as human beings to move. Think of your joints, your knees, your cartilage, your tendons, all of these things, your muscles we're designed to flex, move, bend, rotate. We are meant to be moving, adapting forceful creatures. So by ignoring. That innate, that inborn need to move. You're doing yourself a great disservice, not only physically but mentally.
So being away with my family on vacation in Disneyland for a whole week. Yes. Was I moving a ton? We got , almost 20,000 steps every single day, but I was out of my normal routine. I got one 30 minute strength training session in at the hotel. , which let me tell you that 30 minutes was beyond amazing and I came back to the hotel room feeling immensely refreshed and rejuvenated.
A, for the movement and endorphins, and B, for the time away. Like that's exactly what I needed in the middle of this family trip, . So I highly encourage a movement routine. . If you want some help on how to get that started, I would be more than happy to help you. You know something as simple as adding in a 10 minute walk after your lunch or after all of your meals, adding in some extra movement during the day can help tremendously.
And then you can just build on. You can build on more movement as you go, so you don't have to go. From not working out at all to working out six days a week. Like it doesn't work like that. So start, start slow, build on. And that's how you get a routine is by doing the small things consistently.
Celebrate the small wins and then you can build from there. And that's how you build confidence over time with any new habit. So to wrap up, thank you for my therapy session, , to get myself out of this fun. I'm gonna work on this next week. , embracing going back to my routine, having the kids in school, having my normal work routine with my clients, and focusing again on my business meditation, prayer.
And getting back into the swing of things with my movement routine, I think are gonna be huge. So I hope you got some little nuggets of info from my debrief. , thank you for letting me debrief my week with my family and why I need to make some changes here. I would love if any of you were commiserating.
aligned with what I was saying about this different kind of mom guilt. I'm super intrigued if anyone else feels, feels this way or if you have never felt this way, I wanna know too, so shoot me a message.
Send me a DM on Instagram or Facebook. I would love to hear and connect with you and once again, thanks for coming and listening and I'll catch you on the next one. Bye.
