So say you come across someone, or like there's an amazing mom and you're like, how did she do it all?
Oh my God, . I have three things that I want you to tell yourself. The first one, repeat after me.
Welcome to the Hertz Like a Mother podcast, where we celebrate the joys and pains of motherhood to share the message that we aren't alone in this journey. I am Megan Hansen, mom to triplets registered nurse and certified integrative health coach.
I'm so glad you are here to chat with me today. At least I'm gonna pretend we're chatting back and forth. That's how, that's how the voices in my head and I communicate with each other. So thanks for joining in on the convo. Appreciate it. I gotta tell you,
I'm on social media a lot. I'm an online health coach, so a lot of my business and time is spent online. When I'm not physically coaching clients, I am on the Instagram, I'm on the Facebook, I'm on the things, and I gotta tell you, that comes with some problems when it comes to the comparison game and. , when your workday revolves around social media, it can be very hard to fall into, or I should say, not fall into the trap of the comparison game because what is social media?
It is the glorified highlight reel, right? I don't know if you guys are on TikTok, but there was a glamor filter recently. , going viral on TikTok, and it was this outlandish filter. And I say outlandish because it made every single human being on the planet look glamorous and beautiful and flawless, like beautiful makeup
And it's hard because I tried, I tried it for myself, and honestly I didn't like how I looked, but , it made my lips. Look a little too weird. I'm not a, I'm not a lip filler girl. It made me look like I had some plumped up lips and I'm not down for that. But anyhow, so the world of filters, the game of filters is strong.
So
I was coming across a fellow coach online, and I found myself. going down that hole of the comparison game. And honestly, it kind of ruined about 10 minutes of my day because I spent 10 minutes of my day thinking instead of thinking like, oh, I'm so happy for her X, Y, and Z. Look at her. Go rah, rah, you go girlfriend.
Which I should be saying that in my head. I was thinking. . I wish I was like that, or I wish I was getting this many comments, or I wish I was getting X, Y, and Z. All the things. Comparison. Here's the thing though, about the comparison game. We don't know the other person's real story or what's really going on behind the scenes. Like I said, social media is the highlight reel. Rarely you will see the full picture and the negative stuff that might be going on behind the scenes if it is shown.
We're only gonna be seeing, we're only gonna be shown the snippets of the negative stuff. So especially if you know there's people online that, , you see their amazing body and you're like, how come I can't have that body and. X, Y, and Z. All the things like, we don't know how long it's taken them to work to get to that point.
We don't know their genetics. Maybe , their grandparents were Swedish Vikings. Is that a thing? Swedish Vikings Did I just make that up? What are the Vikings? Who are the Vikings ? I'm gonna keep this in because I'm not editing this part out. This is, this is Megan right here. The Swedish Vikings
She has the genetics of a Swedish Viking . Okay guys, I took AP history in high school, but um, That was essentially just to get college credits. I don't know how much I actually know about the Swedish Vikings, if that is even a thing. Anyhow, going back to genetics and my forte, we don't know what kind of metabolism they have.
Maybe they've had to work their ass off to, , maybe they haven't had, you know, Ben and Jerry's ice cream in 17 years. I dunno, y you know what, you know what I'm saying? Right. You know what I'm saying? Maybe they have an amazing support system, and for example, my husband, I love him. He tries his best to accommodate me and my desires to go to the gym.
We have a home gym setup that honestly, I would rather not use because I need to leave my house. I work from home. Now. I'm in my house way too much. I need to leave. I need to be like deuces, magoos, I'm out. And so he'll wake up with the kids three to four times during the week so I can be at the gym in the morning and have my Megan time.
So maybe someone has an amazing nanny, amazing support system that watches the kids so they can pursue. X, Y, and Z interest and really hone their craft. There's a lot of variables. And you know what? Maybe, maybe they do have underlying mental health stuff going on that we don't know about because there are a lot of things that we still in the world do not discuss.
So we don't know people's demons. We don't know their backstory.
So I want you to keep in mind the next time you're scrolling on your phone and you come across something and you're playing the comparison game,
and I, when I'm thinking of this, I'm also thinking of what I do not show on social media.
So I went through a phase. . After my last bikini body building show, I went through a phase where I didn't have the best relationship with food, so I was eating whatever the F I wanted to put in my mouth. I was done with the super restrictive dieting phase of getting ready to be on stage. It is an incredibly regimented, tedious process to get your body super lean, to get on stage for competition. And I was over it. I was fighting it mentally and I was putting everything in my mouth that I could, including all of the crumble cookies, all of the Starbucks frappuccinos. I went off the deep end and so on social media, I would put that I stopped off at the donut shop on the way to work because that was my head space. I. . I'm in a very different head space now. My relationship with food is so much better, and it's not that I don't eat those things anymore, but I know that I can if I want to. And honestly, when I eat that kind of stuff now, I don't feel good.
I feel like garbage. I feel like the up and down sugar crash thing happening. It just doesn't. It just doesn't. work for me anymore. Like that was a phase. I am in a different phase. So will you see me posting the occasional donut and thing like that? Possibly, yeah. But because I'm in the health coaching, , I'm not posting all the time that say I stop with my kids and we go to Chick-fil-A, um, I might not post it or we stop and we get McDonald's Happy Meals like once a month, or I'm feeding my kids dominoes.
Um, that's probably a once every two week kind of a thing now. because I don't want people to think that it's necessarily quote, okay to have these things all the time, but probably should I be posting it every now and then? Maybe Because that is life, right? It is balanced.
It is not only eating chicken and salad every day, but you are gonna have the days that you go to chick. , you are gonna have the days that you know what, you're pulling your hair out and you just wanna get your kids a happy meal from McDonald's. Are they the best things for your kids in the world? No. Are there inflammatory ingredients in the food from those places?
Yeah. Is it okay? Every once in a while? Sure. . So I think that part, maybe I'm not giving people the most clear. Picture of what it is like to be me and I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking it. Do I owe that to anybody? No. Maybe I don't, maybe I don't owe that to anybody to, to post that. Um, here's what I also don't show on social media.
I usually cry once a week. I don't know what the, what the research based estimation on how often people cry. , I'm a crier, y'all, I get very emotional. and honestly, you can ask my husband, I am hard to communicate with , when anything is emotion related. , because sometimes I don't fully understand the logic behind my emotion.
I'm just , emotion driven sometimes. So I cry a lot and if I cry one time during the. I'm guaranteed to cry at one point later in the day. It's like once the tears start, they just keep coming. I don't know what that is, but
going back to the filters, I get messages every now and then about how amazing my skin is and what I'm doing with my skin. You guys, I use a filter like 75% of the time. It's a very. , I feel like it's a very forgiving filter. Like I'm not using a filter that like puts makeup on my face, but I usually use one that gives myself like a fairly even complexion because my skin tone is not so good.
And
honestly, I was doing really well with my skincare routine up until the holidays and then, Here's something else I don't share on social media. , so
as a small business owner, this is something I am discovering since I left my very regular hospital job over the summer. Your income as a small business owner fluctuates greatly. And this is something I did not know until just recently. I would have a $10,000 month to having a $350 a month.
And this was very surprising to me. So I wasn't necessarily spending the money on the things that I used to spend money on, including my skincare. So,
I use filters because it makes me feel good and it's something I don't have to think about as much. Like I don't have to run and go throw on some tinted moisturizer or concealer or whatever. It's just way easier. Just a pop little filter. It's one click of the button. and it's easy. So, and I tell people I'm not, I'm not lying to them.
If they're asking me like, Hey, your skin looks so amazing, what are you doing? I'm not saying like, oh, it's this makeup, you should buy it. No, it's, I'm like, girl, it's a filter. . I'll be real with you. I am not here to put on a show.
Here's something that I try to do and something you can incorporate into your own life. If you find yourself playing the comparison game, we'll call them some mantras, some helpful mantras to help get out of your comparison game mindset mode. So say you come across someone, or like there's an amazing mom and you're like, how did she do it all?
Oh my God, I want you. I have three things that I want you to tell yourself. The first one, repeat after me. They are not me. I am not them. They are not me. I am not them. Number two, I have my own special gifts. I have my own special gifts and mantra number three. My life has meaning and purpose to me. My life has meaning and purpose to me, and I think all of these three speak to the fact that nobody knows your story but you.
Nobody knows all of your special gifts but you and vice versa. You don't know everything about the other person. You don't know all the other person's gifts and weaknesses. So why let your brain go there that you're not as good as? because we don't know.
So I hope that helps. I, , I am so happy that I could debrief my own comparison game session from this morning. Thank you social media, and if you do follow me on social media. Know that I'm a human. I am a human just like you. And I hope we can use social media for good and to lift each other up. And my goal is to show that we are all humans in this journey of life, and let's just make this the best journey possible and let's do it together.
So have a kick butt day. Have a wonderful week. And I love you all so much. Thank you for tuning in. I would love it if you would share this episode or one of your other episodes with a friend. I'm gonna keep this thing growing and I'm so excited to speak with you guys every single week. So carry on and have a good one.
