Eat the Goddamn Strawberries: A lesson in loving yourself after losing 100# with Annie DeGracia Anderson

Annie went viral after she posted a video making a plaster cast her of her 44F "tig ol'bitties"  before she underwent breast reduction surgery.  After losing about 100# through plus-size plastic surgery, Mounjaro/semaglutide therapy, and nutrition/lifestyle change, she lives to share the message that everyone's journey is their own! 

Annie DeGracia Anderson's blog/site: https://anniespeaks.com/

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Transcript

 
  I'm super excited to introduce to all of you my friend and fellow nurse annie degracia anderson let's get into it

, so Annie is a fellow nurse who is very special because she has undertaken a super amazing health journey and  lost over a hundred pounds. Right. 

Well, I'm right around 100 pounds total. Okay, 

that's awesome. So, , to give a little context, , I was actually taken care of by Annie years ago.

I don't know if you remember, how much you 

remember of that. I will, I had forgotten briefly, but now I remember. Triplets! 

So I think I was somewhere around 19, 20 weeks. I had some preterm labor, cervical shortening issues. So I was in the hospital and Annie was my high risk maternity nurse at the time. And I didn't know you super well back then.

, but I remember my mom was visiting and I don't know if you remember this, but she said that she had a conversation with you in the hallway and. She was tearful because she was talking to you and she was  getting to know you a little bit better, and she just felt your compassion for me at the time, and I think you had made a comment something to the, to the effect of like, , I hope these babies make it.

. But I just really appreciated you connecting with my mom that way. , cause that was special to me as a patient at that time.

So whether you, , think about it or remember those little moments, like those are the, sometimes the moments in healthcare that matter. 

Well, I always tell people, , sometimes I can come off, um, I'm like an M& M. I got that hard, crunchy shell, and then I cry at the drop of a hat. I get teary, I'm emotional, I melt in the middle, like a, , if you were holding that M& M in your hand.

So, if, at first glance, I, I might be very direct and in a way that some people can't handle. And in those clinical moments, when there's serious stuff going on, I get very serious, but then the next moment, I'm the comic relief and or I'm crying with you. So I hope that my patients feel that empathy, you know?

Yeah, totally. And I think that comes across in some of your videos. And I think that's why you have such widespread popularity, especially on TikTok. So I started following you on TikTok. One of your earliest videos that I remember was after you had your tummy tuck. And you were on one of your very first walks around your neighborhood and I was like, holy crap, this girl's doing it and how amazing and the thing about it was you weren't sugarcoating it, like you were giving us the reality of the situation and how hard it was on some of those days.

And when you're honest like that, like that's what people crave and that's what, , that's how you bring in people is just through that honesty. 

Yeah, that's when I first started this whole thing. I had been watching a lot of TikTok when I was off work and recovering and learning about actually making the decision to have plus size plastic surgery was made because I learned a lot about it on TikTok.

, I didn't have a plan to like, start posting about things. I didn't, I didn't have any inkling that I would go viral eventually and all of that. I just started documenting my journey and it was fucking hard, you know, worth it. 

And I would love to talk about, , eventually we'll talk about , like the haters on, on social media and things like that and how that just.

Is a whole other thing, but kind of take us back to thinking of before you had your surgery, like where were you at health wise? Where was your mind at? , why did you even decide to take the route of starting with plastic surgery? Cause you've, you've talked about in the past that people have told you, , you can't just start with surgery.

You need to like, lose a bunch of weight first and go that route. And can you speak to that? 

Well, , at this point, I'm 50. When I started the plastic surgery thing, I was 48. I had spent my whole life losing weight, gaining it back up and down, trying everything, every diet under the sun, every, , medical weight loss management, medication, um all of that gain and loss the same 50 pounds over and over.

I don't know how many times in my life. And, , because of many reasons, , some physical and some emotional and, and all of that, , I wasn't able to maintain that weight loss ever, and my body had changed. , I had that hanging pannus, that hanging belly, , , apron belly, , and my, my boobs were massive.

, I had, I always had large boobs. I always had the intention of someday getting a breast reduction. And,  all of those things held me back. They held me back from the consistency of activity that I would have liked. , I always liked being active. But anyway, so I got to the point in my life at age 48 where I was like, I'm done.

I'm done beating myself up. I'm done hating myself. I want to enter this next phase of life with a whole new feeling about who I am. And, , this whole body positivity movement online has, , is great for, for the generations after us. , hopefully my kids will have a different outlook on who they are and all of that stuff.

I couldn't get there in my head. I was stuck in the, I don't want to look in the mirror. I don't want to, , I don't want to go out. I don't want to get dressed up. I don't feel pretty anyway. , I don't want to go out with my friends. I, I, I had just gotten to the point where, , I just didn't want to do that anymore.

So, , watching Tik Tok, I saw these Australian doctors that were doing plus size plastic surgery. And so I started to see that maybe it is a possibility, , Well, at this point, 12 years ago, I had seen plastic surgeons to consider a tummy tuck and or a breast reduction and they didn't want to do both at the same time because of my weight.

And so then , one doctor told me lose 50 pounds and then we'll do it or we'll just do the breast reduction and I don't want smaller boobs and still have this massive belly. So just never did. I never got to the point where I lost the 50 pounds and kept it off. So I put it. On the back burner for all these years, but then I saw that some surgeons, if you, , they were automatically excluding you based on your BMI.

So I started meeting with doctors here in town, and I found a surgeon that looked at me as more than just my BMI. At that time, my BMI was 41. I'm 5'4 , the day of my surgery, I weighed 245 pounds. And, , Dr. Wayne Yamahata in Sacramento, he doesn't just go by a BMI, he looks at the whole picture.  He uses like a point system.

And, and luckily, I got in there before I had any other diagnoses. , I didn't have diabetes, didn't have heart disease, don't have high blood pressure. The only chronic condition that I have is PCOS with insulin resistance, which is part of why it's been hard to maintain any weight loss over the years.

, but he Like I said, looked at me as a whole person and not just a number, not just the BMI, and he said, I'll do the tummy tuck and, , for insurance reasons, we didn't do the breast reduction the same day, , because my insurance covered the breast reduction, but yeah, so I just, I made the decision. I pulled the trigger.

I had worked a lot of extra shifts during the pandemic, so I used that money towards make it change my whole life. That's an 

amazing start to the story, and, , and to think of how far you've come, and it's, it's been a process, I'm sure, on so many levels. And can I talk to us about the beginning, the first days after the surgery, and did you ever have any, , oh shit, regret moments?

I won't say I had regret moments. I had, oh shit, this sucks, it's really fucking hard moments. , and,  I guess I, that first night after surgery, I probably should have stayed overnight in the hospital, , the fluid shifts and all of that because he removed 17 pounds of skin and fat that day.

Like I started on my belly, they, my incisions start way back here and go all the way around, , in order to remove that whole pannus and, , Then he, so he did some liposuction to the flanks, cut off huge flaps of skin from, from here and the belly and, , repaired my muscles, my diastasis recti, I think I had a four inch gap there.

You, I'm sure you relate to that after triplets, but, , so started on my belly, flipped me over, finished the surgery and then stabilized me and sent me home. , that much fluid shifts were bound to be an issue and, , I passed out a couple of times that first night. Do you? Yeah, from, I think, from the pain and from the, , the fluid shifts, I, I mean, I, I, I realized when, when the first time I passed out and I couldn't pee, I was like, nurse Annie in the back of my brain was like, you can't have fluids or you're going to be in the hospital tonight.

 My husband was there, very supportive, caught me, and then things got better over the course of a few hours. But that first night, I say it was the worst night of my life, because I... It was awful. And, , then the first, I would say I didn't really feel human again until day 14 or, or so it was, it was, it was brutal.

The pain was a lot. And they, Dr. Yamaha told me, , the pain is relative to the amount of tissue and fat that they take off, , someone that maybe didn't need quite as much removed. Maybe they're getting through it breezy, breezy, breezy, but I needed all those pain meds. 

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine.

Well, I can only begin to imagine, I guess I could say because, so I had, I had a tummy tuck after my triplets, but I didn't have obviously as much skin and fat to remove, but I had that, that pooch that was not being, , taken care of with, with diet and exercise and very similar to  just that C section kind of shelf that moms get that is really difficult to remove with diet and exercise.

Now I remember my tummy tuck was worse than my C section recovery wise, but  I did not get anywhere near passing out or anything. So that's, um, yeah, very interesting. Just like the spectrum of recovery. , because like you said, you had a lot of skin, a lot of fat taken, taken off.

, I'm glad that you're, you're okay. 

Oh, I mean, in the end, it's all worth it to me, but, , it was not easy, and I knew it wasn't going to be easy getting into it. I made the choice, but, , if anyone says that it's the easy way out, that I took the easy way out, , they're so wrong, like, I, I lived a lifetime of trying to do it the right way, and, or, I say the right way, because that perspective of mine has changed, because there is no right way.

You just got to get there. But, , whatever it takes to get to that place of loving yourself in your head, that's what matters. Because that changed my entire perspective on every aspect of my life. Mm 

hmm. Yeah. I, it reminds me, I got a comment once on TikTok. I don't do a lot on TikTok because I feel like there's a different kind of audience out there.

And I find that there's more. Haters and trolls and I'm going to, I'm going to categorize people, but they're more likely to kind of jump on you in a negative way. So I kind of tiptoed on TikTok. Anyways, there was somebody who responded and they said something like, well, it's easy to look like you after you've had a tummy attack.

And it's like, that's a very narrow focused comment to make because yeah, could anybody get a tummy attack? A lot of people could. Is it easy to keep the results? No, but for, for me, getting a tummy tuck was my springboard into a healthier life for myself. Yeah. I didn't like how I looked in the mirror. I was doing the diet and the exercise and I lost quote, like the baby weight or whatever you want to call it, but I still wasn't myself.

, like you said, you made a decision. I made a decision to go ahead and do the tummy tuck because I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life. in that physical version of my body. And I knew there had to be a change. So that decision to do the tummy tuck has propelled me into this journey that I had no clue.

I didn't know where it would take me, but , and, and I think maybe that's why I enjoyed your, your videos and, , your journey is. Because it speaks to the point that not everybody's health journey is going to look the same and there's not a one size fits all. There's not a right way to go about it. , I hate the phrase, there's many ways to skin a cat, but there's not always one way to go about getting healthy.

And I think that's important to realize for people that you can try all the things and there might be something that works for you, but it's not going to work for your friend Susie 

over there. Yeah, I mean, most, most plastic surgeons even today and people in the world think that, okay, well, , let's say you've made the decision for a tummy tuck, they want you to get to your ideal weight first, and then have the tummy tuck, I opted  to not do that, because I, like I said, I was done beating beating myself up about it, I got into the place in my head where I wanted to, even if I was going to still be a plus size woman, I wanted to accept myself, love myself in that body as much as I could.

And for me, that meant getting rid of the hanging belly and the boobs. So I had the tummy tuck, and then 10 weeks after that, I had the breast reduction. I went from a 44F. Right now, I'm probably around a 36D, 38C, something like that. , I had gotten to the point in my head where, okay, cool. I'm going to recover from this.

I'm looking at it as my job. I was off work for four months. I had the beauty of having a job and living in California that they support any kind of surgery. So, , I was off work for four months and I looked at it as my job. My recovery was my job. I walked every day. I was making sure I got a hundred grams of protein in every day, even if I had to drink it because , , that muscle repair, I don't know if you experienced this or not, but that, when you have that repair of the diastasis recti, it shrinks your cavities.

All your organs get, are getting squished. Like I even, , when I'm walking, like I had to sort of retrain my, my lungs to fill with air,  like you've, everything gets. It's not a weight loss surgery, but it forced me into, , smaller meals, smaller portions, all of that stuff. So I was drinking my protein, adding collagen to my crystal light, , trying to get enough protein in it every day.

 I was, like I said, eating in smaller portions and it just was, , became a way of life for me. The daily activity, the nutrition was hugely improved and I did that for nine months after my surgery, even after I continued to go back to work and I didn't lose any weight. I maintained the weight loss that my plastic surgeon gave me.

I had been watching TikTok and heard about , this miracle drug called Manjaro. That's when I started taking Manjaro. I heard about that. I got the coupon from Eli Lilly, so I was only paying 25 a month. And then I proceeded to lose, over the course of a year on that medication, I lost 50, 52 pounds. And that combination of my plastic surgery that launched me into this whole, , lifestyle , of...

Fitness and good nutrition and all of that, then in combination with science and medication is why I've been able to lose weight. So, I'm very thankful for all of that. Yeah, 

and I know these injectable medications... are a little controversial. They're incredibly trendy right now. , , my only hesitation, well, there's a couple of hesitations, but, , I'm just wary of the people that are getting these medications without proper, , education about them.

 They'll hear about it from a friend and get it through a friend of a friend.  Some people can say it's like a quick fix, but it's important to realize you have to also keep continuing to focus on the nutrition and keep focusing  on the fitness and, , I think if you do it the right way, it can be used responsibly, but  I'm scared for the people who are just using it.

As that quick fix, and they're not focusing on the other underlying factors in life, like nutrition and sleep and 

all of that. So the thing that I get fired up about is because, , I don't think that a lot of people really understand how these medications work in the brain. So they work, Manjaro works on two receptors, and Ozempic and Wigolvi and all of that works on one.

, what those medications do are. make your brain work right. So they make my brain work like maybe how your brain works. So I am having good nutrition and making better choices and not having they, I don't know if you've heard a lot of people talk about the food noise, like these medications calm your brain down in a way that  prior to these medications.

 You're someone like me is deal someone who deals with chronic obesity and in my case PCOS with insulin resistance So it's not just the brain It's not just the the mental thought process of food and binge eating and all of that.  We're actually treating my insulin resistance caused by PCOS, so it's working on the front end and the back end, so I am not binge eating because my brain isn't craving that stuff, , instead of, I'm like grabbing a protein shake or making a smoothie with, , some fruit and, and protein powder in it because I know I need nutrition, but I'm not So, yeah.

Wanting to go get a burger and fries like they're the diet and the nutrition  and all of that is part of the process like you can't magically lose weight. These injections are not magic. I'm not taking a shot of ninjaro going out for a burger and fries and drinking all night and still losing weight.

You have to diet and , restrict your portions and do all of that in order to lose weight. That part is Is science that is irrefutable no matter where you are, , but I think that, um, it's not a quick fix. I'm not losing 10 pounds in a week. I'm losing 1 to 2 pounds in a week if I'm lucky because based on how much I am eating and exercising.

So that's where my, . That's where I get fired up about because I think a lot of people don't understand that that's how these medications work. 

And I have a friend who started taking it and she didn't tell anyone she was taking it because  she was feeling some shame because she had tried so many things to drop a little bit of weight and she was feeling really poorly about herself because she was trying all these things but yet couldn't be consistent with anything.

And She got some results after a few months of being on, , these medications, and she was able to drop some weight, and then when she started to drop the weight, she started to feel better about herself, and then that springboarded into better choices, and , those better choices just bred other better choices.

And so now she's living a helpful life and she's walking more.  Yeah, I think there's not a perfect scenario for everyone. And should everybody be taking that? No, but you know, it's gonna work for some and maybe not for others, but it's just a matter of seeing what works for you. 

Yeah, definitely. It's working for me.

Even just in the first three months of taking Manjaro, my A1c, which was pre diabetic, I was 5. 7. , three months into after starting the medication, , my A1c was already down to 5. 1. So it's working behind the scenes as well as the obvious things,  I, I may have to take a medication like this for the rest of my life.

And I'm okay with that. 

Yeah. That was going to be one of my questions is like, what is your plan? , would you be okay just taking it the rest of your life? 

I would be, just like any other, treating any other chronic condition, , if I had high blood pressure, I would take a pill for the rest of my life to manage that, , same thing with heart disease, or if I was diabetic, I would require, , a medication for the rest of my life, and, , the, we don't know the long term things, my body has changed so much in the last year and a half, or actually year and nine months, I don't know where I'm gonna land, , just the, the Physical removal of the fat and, , all of that from my surgeon combined with the weight loss.

My hormones are all crazy. , I've been able to come off my antidepressant. I don't take Wellbutrin anymore. , and so far so good with that. I mean, I'm first person to take it again if, if I get to a, a, a bad place. But, , my whole physical being has been in flux, so I really don't know the long term, , goal.

I don't know what that looks like. I don't think anyone knows these medications are too new. I actually, , because our health insurance is not yet on board with, , All the treatment of chronic obesity and PCOS with insulin resistance and things like that. , I can't afford to pay out of top out of pocket for these expensive medications.

, I've been lucky enough to partner with a company, , called Setpoint. They're in Folsom and, , they are helping me. I've transitioned to taking compounded semaglutide. So I'm not taking Manjaro anymore. , for the last few weeks, I've been taking compounded semaglutide. . So that is, I'm still kind of figuring out , what, what dosage I am.

I have I got to a point where I was 172 pounds. My highest weight ever was 272 pounds and, , I've set a new goal, I guess, of 165 because I want to be able to maintain it for the long term. I want to be able to possibly, if I need to, come off the medication and still maintain my activity levels and, , nutrition and things like that.

, and. Live at 165. I mean, I know that that's still technically overweight, but that's where I'm comfortable. I don't want to have any more skin surgeries either. So, , the more weight you lose, the more flabby skin you have. And, and I'm not, I'm not doing that. , a lot of people say also don't lose weight after your tummy tuck because then you'll, you'll negate the results.

My weight loss has only enhanced my results. It's I, my tummy is still, , tight and, , looking good from, from the gift of Dr. Yamaha's skilled hands. 

And I, and I love that. 'cause I think too, I always caution people about worrying too much about the scale number. 'cause it's not gonna tell the full story because your weight.

And your body currently is going to look very different at somebody at the same weight and same thing with  a strength building journey that your weight at one level in , your physical fitness, , when you gain more muscle, , your body composition is going to be different. So looking at the scale number isn't the best picture of what's really going on.

Not 

at all. When back in the day, years and years ago, when, , I had one of those, I don't even know what they're called, but , they dip your whole body into a big tank of water and measure your muscle mass and all of that. I had 110 pounds of lean muscle mass at that time. I mean, yeah, I was still obese and all that, but 110 pounds on a 5'4 body.

Yeah. You know, I carry a lot of muscle. So my 165 is not somebody else's 165. And when you earlier you were talking about haters, which I've had a lot of, and Facebook is where is really my primary platform. That's where I have like 49, 000 followers. And, um, tick tock, surprisingly, I've had more haters on Facebook, but I think because I get more people seeing stuff.

But, , recently I posted, , A video of me, uh, trying on some jeans that I'm actually wearing them today. , and they are a size seven, a size seven slash 27. When I started this journey, I was in, , 16, 18 pants, and I'm always smaller on the bottom than I am on top. And, , , this lady came at me in the comments about, there's no way 172 pound woman is wearing a size seven.

And I'm like, you want me to show you the tag? Like, I can't tell you, it's just, everybody's different. What one person weight is. The number isn't really that important to me anymore. It's really how I'm feeling. So. 

Yeah. , I know that you had brought up , your body image. And maybe you've had like some negative self talk in the past. And. What do you think was the turning point to, you've mentioned you've decided to choose you for the next decades. Like, when do you think you made that decision to choose you? 

When I signed on the dotted line for my plastic surgery.

Yeah, I'm gonna get emotional now, but

making that decision is goes against what everyone else like I didn't deserve it right like people, if you don't, if you haven't lost weight, if you're still obese, you don't deserve to have plastic surgery, you don't deserve to get your skin removed, and all of that, because you didn't earn it well. I, I may not have earned it at the scale, but I earned it in so many other ways throughout my life, , I paid my fucking dues, I did my best, and I was done, and when I admitted that amount of money, which is a huge amount, it was, , at the time, 17, 800 for my, uh, plus size tummy tuck, and that was a huge amount of money for me, it still would be a huge amount of money for most people, and , That in some ways was very selfish for if you look at the big picture for my family and I've got kids in college and all of those things.

So that decision was all about me. That was all about taking back my life and how I felt about myself. So that was the day that things started to turn. And then it's been this whole process of. This emotional journey, even up until today, but it's indescribable the, the difference in where I am in my head today, as opposed to where I was two years ago.

I'm sure it was an incredibly difficult decision to make, but just how powerful it, it was to make that decision for yourself. And, , I talked to a lot of women who don't feel like they've reached their optimal selves, whether it be they've dedicated their lives to their children or they're in a complicated marriage and the partner's not on board with them changing their lives because you know what that means that they're going to have to take a look at their own selves and.

, they have a lot of family stuff or they've had trauma and they really don't have that self worth. They don't feel like they have that self worth to dedicate time to themselves. Because a lot of people do see it as selfish. Like taking time and money away from your family could be viewed as selfish.

Yeah. I mean, it's 

real. It is a selfish decision that I made. I wouldn't, I mean, isn't that the point? Like... If we don't love ourselves, there is no one else in this world that's gonna love me enough to take good care of me. The decision that I made wasn't just a physical thing. It was, , being a mother, it was like, okay, there's this amount of strawberries in the fridge.

I'm not going to eat them because if I eat them, I won't have them for the kids tomorrow morning when it's breakfast time. So, I'm not, I'm going to eat, , something else that isn't good for me. Or, um, I'm making my kids get up, take the bath. brush their teeth every day, put on clean clothes, trying to teach them to, who knows, make their bed or, or do all of these normal like ADLs, we call them as nurses, and teach them how to have a, to take care of themselves.

But I wasn't taking care of me. I wasn't doing those same things for me. So learning to love myself, people, Oh, it's not that when I look in the mirror, Oh, I love my, I mean, in some ways now, you know, putting on clothes and stuff feels good. It, for me, the definition of loving myself is what the greatest gift has been because I figured out what that means.

What that means for me is eating the goddamn strawberries. When it's time for some, it's time to eat something. I don't need to save them for anyone else. I can go to the grocery store and buy more if I need them. It's, it's getting up every day and putting on my tennis shoes and going for a walk with my dog and making sure I have the things in the fridge that I need to be successful.

Whether it's Costco protein shakes or fruit for my smoothies or the chicken breast that I'm going to make for dinner or whatever it is. I need to , show myself the same love that I show everyone else, my patients, my children, , that's the definition of what loving myself has become, making sure I get a hundred grams of protein every day if, if I, if I'm in my right mind, , drinking water, doing all those physical things is how I define what loving myself is.

Totally. I a hundred percent agree. And I've. I literally have the , eat the goddamn strawberries thing in my head all the time. I have a son who adores strawberries. And so I'm like, I freaking love strawberries. And how often am I like, I'm not going to eat those cause I'm going to save them for him.

I'm like, you're not going to run out of strawberries. You can eat the goddamn strawberries. Yeah. And  I think of that whole premise. When  I go to the gym in the morning and my husband is home with the kids and what I like to be that person that gets immense joy out of being home with my kids all day long and being their primary caregiver and loving on them.

I would love to think that I am that person, but I'm not. I, I rejuvenate myself when I take time for myself and do it. I need to do for myself. And I am more energized to be a better mom when I do come back home. And I think that's hard for a lot of people to think about unless you start to put that into practice.

Yeah. , I never knew it before. It was such a simple thing to define that. And, , that's what having this surgery has done for me, launched me into this whole being a little bit selfish. Like it's okay to be selfish. You have to be selfish to take care of yourself. And yeah. Most mamas don't do that, , and I guess it for me, it was just perfect timing, , my kids were launching.

I had this extra money from working a little bit. And, , I had, I just worked my way up to that whole thought process. And even now, I mean, My husband sometimes would rather I was washing the dishes or, , doing something for the household, and I'm like, I'm going for a walk. Like, that's all there is to it.

I have to do that for my own sanity,  so, same thing. I'm not a gym girl. I, I, I have been in the past, but never consistently,  I don't, , work out hard like you do. But that's what I've decided to is if I'm going to do this, it has to be something that I'm willing to the work, the amount of work that I'm willing to put into it to maintain it.

 I am willing to walk every day or swim laps or, or, , do water aerobics, or I just got back from Iceland and I,  hike on a glacier and climb, , like I'm doing things now that there's no way I could have done that a hundred pounds ago. Megan, like the, my... My whole life is changed at age 50.

And it, and I do feel like I'm cheating a bit, like, I, , a lot of my girlfriends that are at the same stage in life, they're the opposite, , they're in the, I'm hating my body, and I, I am not feeling so good anymore, and, because I didn't live that way in my 30s, so, like, for me, 50 is my new 30, I'm, I'm living this life now, , that I didn't live then, and, I do feel like I'm cheating a little bit, but I don't care in the best 

of ways.

Well, and I think that's the beauty of social media is you can share with others. these amazing experiences that you're now taking full advantage of and you can show people what's possible. Whether or not they choose to do plus size surgery, whether or not they choose to semi glutide, you can show people like, hey, this is my time and I made a decision to make it my time and you can too.

Yeah, yeah, and that's my biggest, my biggest idea is do whatever it takes for you, , and don't judge me for doing it differently than you have. , we all should maybe have the same goal as into, , loving ourselves and loving this life we're living and being happy in, in the simple things that we're doing every day and whatever path it takes for you to get there, whatever it takes, just get there.

That's my biggest thing because. I know how I feel in my head, and I want everyone to feel this way now. 

Yeah, I feel the same way. And I think there's enough shit going on in the world that we don't need to shit on each other. Right. 

Right. The whole wind. Yeah, it's amazing though, like , the haters in the comments of a lot of my videos that have gone viral.

, and that's the, but that's one of the biggest gifts of all of this is that I don't care. Like that, that stuff doesn't hurt me anymore. Whereas before I would, , I lived my whole life with somebody calling me a fat, you know what, and Or just making me feel even worse about how I showed up in the world by name calling and things like that.

None of that. I don't, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I like, I have a very real perspective on my body and its imperfections. I do not think I'm anywhere near perfect. My, my, one of my things is I'm imperfectly perfect. And, or perfectly imperfect. Like that's,

Everybody is, , none of us are ever 100 percent satisfied with where we are and I've got scars. I've still got these wide football player shoulders and trucker arms and, , flabby thighs, especially since I've lost so much weight, even though, , my legs were always one of my go to things when my belly was hanging over it.

But. I don't have to be perfect. I feel so good in my head now that that all these haters, they can say whatever the heck they want. And in fact, it's good for the algorithm. I make more money when they talk shit to me. So 

I was gonna say it makes for excellent content. 

Yeah, yeah, it is pretty funny. 

And you started a blog that's pretty amazing.

So tell everyone like where they can find you and get to know you and learn about your journey. 

Yeah, so for years, people told me, , I would use Facebook as like my journal, I guess, and, and I like to write, and, , I, people always told me, oh, you should write a book, or, or at least start a blog, and I got ADHD, I didn't know I had when I was younger, and I can't write a book.

unless somebody's going to hold my hand while I do it. And so I just took the leap and started a blog, , like one year ago is when I started that. And, , it's just sort of taken off as part of this whole picture. And, , it's, my website is, , It's Annie Speaks dot com. And it's undergoing construction right now.

Like, I mean, I did it all myself, so I know nothing. I'm not a technical, an IT girl. So, , it was very clunky and hard to get around. And, and so I have, , someone that I'm working with now to make it look good. And, , it's, Almost done.  If you go to www. AnnieSpeaks. com, , you can read all about my story, my journey from start to finish, and including some,  not so, not so wonderful stories about my childhood.

I mean, I'm a Gen Xer and, , we had a, we had a rough start, a lot of us. So I guess what I found also by doing this blog is how, , how much people relate to my story. Like I always thought, oh, I'm the only one that had their own apartment at age 15. I'm the only one that went through this kind of traumatic childhood.

And once I started writing about it and putting it out there, , So many people are like, oh my gosh, this, , our lives are parallel and, , I had no idea so that kind of helped get rid of some of the victimhood too, , it's like, well, I wasn't the only one, , so many people from my generation are dealing with this and, and having to just keep fucking going.

Like, that's the best advice I guess anyone ever told me. I went through a lot of therapy in my lifetime, all of that. I won't do it anymore because all that does is just stir it all right back up. It never changes anything for me. But the best advice one of my very good friends ever gave me was keep fucking going every day.

I even wear, I wear this bracelet that my friend gave me. And that's what it says on the inside. So whenever I start to forget those moments. I just kind of look down at my wrist. I don't take it off. 

Yeah. That's awesome. I love that. I've thought about maybe getting a, something similar to that, but maybe like a tattoo.

I don't have any tattoos on my body, but I'm like, I, I feel the inspiration coming for one. So maybe something like that. 

Well, that was, that's also been part of my, my journey. . Yes. The whole, the whole thing going 

on that is quite a  she has a very colorful sleeve of tattoos. Yeah. 

My whole arm. My whole arm. Each one has different meanings and let's see, this one is, maybe, maybe you can see this one at least. It's a swimmer. So I grew up, I was a swimmer growing up. And she's got an anchor tied around her ankle here, and she's diving into, I don't know if you can see it, this weird angle, into a teacup with a storm in there, a storm in a teacup, a tempest situation, she's diving into that, and the words are sink or swim.

Are you going to sink? Are you going to swim? Bitch, I'm swimming. I'm swimming. I love it. Right around my ankle. 

That's great. Well, and if you could think of , the version of yourself five years ago, think of that Annie. Like what would you tell that Annie of five years 

ago? I would have said all bodies are bikini bodies.

I would have said you need to figure out the definition of what it means to love yourself. Eat the goddamn strawberries and keep fucking going. And if you ain't laughing, you're crying. Those are all the same things I would say. Oh my gosh, 

those are amazing, , blog, , posts right there. 

They're probably already there.

I love it. Thank you so much for just your honesty and I enjoy talking to you and I know a lot of people will, , enjoy this conversation as well. 

Well, I hope so. It's a journey that, , we're all, we're all in this together. We're all on the same ride. So. We all just got to keep it. Keep it going. You need the 

goddamn 

strawberries.

Goddamn strawberries. 

I love it so much. 



Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the best life blueprint. If you've loved. Listening as much as i loved making it share it with a friend and we'll see on the next one