Momma Bates is back on the pod! We know you loved her last time, well this time we got a juicer for ya.... she's telling Lauren and Carlynn the TRUTH on Javi's adoption story.
Momma Bates is back on the pod! We know you loved her last time, well this time we got a juicer for ya.... she's telling Lauren and Carlynn the TRUTH on Javi's adoption story.
Hello, hey.
Speaker 2:On top clapping, clapping. Well, tonight is a big night for us. It is Vision Night at church. When you listen to this, it'll be a couple days after, so if you weren't there, I don't know you're kind of a loser. Sorry, that's a bit sour, but my mom flew all the way in from Florida to come be a part of the night, so she's back. Everybody welcome my mom.
Speaker 3:Hey, welcome back. You all said that, hey, we have the same flow, usually Girl power, I guess.
Speaker 2:I feel like I should have drank water. You know how, when your mouth is kind of like, yeah, are you nervous?
Speaker 4:Sure, I guess.
Speaker 3:Knees weak palms heavy.
Speaker 2:What does knees weak, palms heavy mean?
Speaker 1:Oh, no way. No way, you don't know that.
Speaker 2:No, I don't, I guess not.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's Mom spaghetti. Okay, moving on, moving on.
Speaker 2:Is that like one of his like characters? That's Eminem. You said let's move on.
Speaker 1:This is one of those moments where we just it didn't land, so we just hit.
Speaker 3:Yes, I was just trying to better understand, but I guess Javi doesn't ever get any of the references that we make on this podcast ever, and then he gets mad when we don't explain it to him.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, not when you don't explain it, when you don't make fun of me.
Speaker 3:It just keeps going down further and further and further.
Speaker 4:I think he's. I'll look before his time.
Speaker 3:This isn't, though. This is Slim Shady. It's like the biggest Eminem song ever. People like Okay, but Okay, that's not Eminem's, not like.
Speaker 2:Eminem's not like, because he's talking about hitting his wife and stuff in his music half the time, so we're not promoting that.
Speaker 3:The song was in a movie credit, I know, but I'm not like you can't be like.
Speaker 2:oh well, he's a youth pastor.
Speaker 3:He should listen to it. No, I'm just saying you should know who Eminem is.
Speaker 1:I know who he is but I don't have his lyrics oh burn.
Speaker 2:I know that one song, so when I'm gone just carry on.
Speaker 1:No harm. Rejoice every time you know that song Okay.
Speaker 2:I know Eminem, but I just don't.
Speaker 1:How do you not know his most iconic song? Everyone knows that one.
Speaker 2:While y'all were watching Eminem credits, I was probably in prayer.
Speaker 3:You were probably watching.
Speaker 2:Bill.
Speaker 3:Nye.
Speaker 2:Mom, how was the flights Pretty, good or bad? It was good. It was good yeah, turbulence. I feel like it's becoming Just. I don't know, Something's happening in the skies. Now we have pretty smooth flights coming in.
Speaker 4:When you get in the mountains it's always iffy.
Speaker 2:When I went to LA, basically from oh gosh, where was my connecting flight Phoenix to LA it was just like probably won't be able to take your seatbelts off the whole time or get up or do anything, because turbulence in the sky is kind of crazy today, and I was like, well, I don't get up anyway, I just shut my eyes. I don't even get a drink.
Speaker 1:I like a little turbulence, I think it makes it exciting.
Speaker 2:It doesn't bother me, but I don't like when I can feel my stomach drop.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I don't want to say I'm scared of it but, I have been a former flight attendant.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 4:I take it for pretty serious about it and I reference it.
Speaker 2:Oh you honor and respect the turbie.
Speaker 4:Yeah, because I've been in a plane where the bottom dropped real quick and everything went up and then everything that goes up comes down.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on now.
Speaker 4:I'm a big proponent of keep your seatbelt on even if the sign goes off.
Speaker 2:Did TSA give you any trouble?
Speaker 4:No, skate it right through. But I kind of know.
Speaker 2:They let you ride a skateboard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's crazy, especially.
Speaker 4:Florida because there's tourist capitol and they're really nice. I think it's a prerequisite If you want to be a TSA agent.
Speaker 1:You can't be nice. It's just the way it is.
Speaker 4:Right, no matter.
Speaker 2:I was here in Albuquerque. I feel like they just cackling on the side and they're like oh yeah, just put your back right there. Anyway, on the side the last one I went through, they didn't even acknowledge me. They were laughing so hard with each other.
Speaker 4:Usually they're barking orders. You know, remove this, take this out, don't do this. And this time I found that they weren't giving enough instruction.
Speaker 2:You know, when you do the arm thing, split your leg, put your arms up in the triangle. I went through that and the girl was like step off to the side and then I was like getting ready to get back down. He's like I don't need to do that, I'm not a terrorist. Come on, look at me Like this gets flagged through the yeah, they start vlogging you every time now did you people watch? Do you like to people Watch? I do like to people.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what do you do on the plane?
Speaker 4:On the plane I I listen to books and watch movie but in the airport, so I like to people watch and I try to figure out the stories Like that's the okay, that's the second wife.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you use your up like on conversations, even if you're with other people.
Speaker 3:Do you do that? Yes, yeah, it's kind of hard to not do that.
Speaker 4:I'm trying to listen, figure out. You know the story, yeah, and I Actually heard a good one. I don't know that it's podcast appropriate, but, yeah, let's hear it. Was it inappropriate? But the man and the lady next to me were having a discussion about he's like you know well, we're we're married but we're not married. But you know, we're pretty much married so you can have the house and stay in the house and I'm like, okay, you had me at that. I get at the airport. From what I could surmise, I guess the, the wife, mm-hmm, the ex-wife maybe, but not officially ex is in the house but he's telling the the new, the new one.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow, have the house and he's just gonna tell the other one, and I was like, wow, this could be interesting, that's a good drama.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm kidding and he must have some money just to be like here's the house, yeah.
Speaker 1:I have to be good looking at least like who's there. Reason.
Speaker 4:I couldn't stare because I was leaning trying to hear.
Speaker 2:Be careful, get a crick in your neck.
Speaker 4:But I hadn't heard anything that interesting in a while. Pretty good yeah hang.
Speaker 2:Mom got all the teeth.
Speaker 3:I think it's crazy what people talk about in public like that's a crazy.
Speaker 1:Airport really loud.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like that's crazy, I don't hear that bit that well, and I was hearing Shame.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I Guess that's what happens when you're just ready to move on. You don't care who here's oh.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 4:Sorry for her. You know I thought dump him. You don't want somebody else's house, get your own. Yeah, you don't want to hit me down.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:No, you're a girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want anyone.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Have you ever heard of the guys that, like they're engaged and then they get unaggaged, so the girl will give the ring back and then he'll use the same ring for?
Speaker 1:the next one.
Speaker 4:You give it to her, it's hers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree she should sell that puppy and buy her something nice. And if it's not worth selling.
Speaker 4:You're better off without him.
Speaker 2:Wow, I mean that's well, kids. A pawn shop will rip you off, though, so you could have a $5,000 ring. The blade will give you like a grand for it.
Speaker 4:But you could sell it on your own. I'm just saying you, you should get a nice ring.
Speaker 2:I agree. Well, mom, you have something in your lap right there crumble cookies. I For sure thought Florida had this, but they do not have these in Florida apparently.
Speaker 4:I don't know of them.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a possibility too. I mean, y'all, y'all live in small towns in Florida. All of you, all the family, lives in smaller towns, so it would make sense that we're not charming.
Speaker 4:But capital of the world, you know. So us retired folk, we don't like cooking, we don't buy overpriced big cookies.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't know about overpriced.
Speaker 3:They're a little overpriced.
Speaker 4:No, no, we're $13 for cookies, overpriced coffee.
Speaker 2:Okay, but that box will, like you can have 15 to 20 people that can enjoy that. Oh Sorry, maybe just cuz I have a giving spirit, I thought you didn't like to share stuff like that.
Speaker 3:You know like I don't like when people like a Maya.
Speaker 2:Come and just bite it with her mouth.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's true, I was a victim of that.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, pick one and try it. First time ever trying crumble cookie.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna try the cornbread and we are sponsored a corn oh.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding, we're not, that would be crazy.
Speaker 4:No, it'd be, great, I don't want my crumble sure, so okay, this is the cornbread cornbread. Looks like a gob of butter on top, but I'm assuming it's a frosting, I Think whoa. That was a big bite, wouldn't it? No?
Speaker 2:please tell me you like it.
Speaker 4:I do like it, but it tastes like a sugar cookie, not cornbread, I oh.
Speaker 2:Whomp, whomp, okay, okay, take a bite of another one. Take a bite.
Speaker 4:Nice, I mean, I'm just being honest, right.
Speaker 2:You can bite them. These are yours. You can just bite it.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 4:I'm not gonna, let's see Okay, I'll try the brownie one. It looks good. That was a big bite. I'm so podcast savvy, I just put a whole big bite in my mouth.
Speaker 3:That's okay. They can't see you, it's perfect.
Speaker 4:But you can hear me it's ASMR.
Speaker 2:You know what's silly is people are actually listening to this right now and they're listening to you eat a cookie.
Speaker 4:I know.
Speaker 2:I listened to some really unedited podcasts and they're like Munching on them. Yeah, just munching on food and taking forever to like get something pulled out.
Speaker 4:Now the brownie one was great.
Speaker 1:Ooh, okay.
Speaker 4:Okay, try one more.
Speaker 2:One through ten, one through ten.
Speaker 1:What do you rate? The cornbread one and the brownie?
Speaker 4:The cornbread is really good. It just doesn't taste like cornbread. It tastes like a sugar cookie.
Speaker 2:You hear?
Speaker 4:that crumble, the brownie one, is fantastic. I would rate the brownie a nine or a ten, okay, and the cornbread a six. We'll try the.
Speaker 2:Cookie monster.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think this was a chipsohoi flavor. That's what it said. Let's see.
Speaker 2:I don't remember, I just remember it looked cool.
Speaker 4:Brownie wins. Okay, very good.
Speaker 2:So would you eat it again? Would you ever get that for yourself?
Speaker 4:No, I wouldn't buy it by myself.
Speaker 2:Oh, but like if you were going over to the house and all the grandkids were there, you'd be like, look what I got.
Speaker 4:Maybe yes for a group.
Speaker 2:Or they're not allowed to have sugar.
Speaker 4:Yeah, they need to not be allowed that sugar.
Speaker 2:I could say that they're not listening.
Speaker 4:No, they're great.
Speaker 2:Zoe listens.
Speaker 4:But it just tastes like a cookie to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like if she got a dozen cookies that would be better to bring over to a house than four cookies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one eats all four. You like, cut them up in fours.
Speaker 3:But everybody wants to eat all four, but they don't. No one does, no one does.
Speaker 2:And most of the time now it's turned into when it's in the office. We all just take like a chunk of each and like, yeah, that was good and it's like eating one whole cookie.
Speaker 3:But no one eats all four. But not to like a house party, yeah.
Speaker 2:Not a how. I'm not saying at the Super Bowl party.
Speaker 1:You said, you said, you said she went over to the house with grandkids? Yes, absolutely, they would be way happier if they all got their own cookie.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they don't want a piece of a cookie, they're not going to want a tiny little bad parents and then learn to share.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'll tell your brother and I'll tell my son, I need to get him on the phone.
Speaker 4:By the way, you're on the phone. Yeah, I think I would bring something for everyone, but that is something for everyone.
Speaker 2:I mean each individual. I don't know that.
Speaker 4:I want to eat after a couple of those growing kids that's coming in from outside and yep.
Speaker 1:You remember when harder and just picked?
Speaker 2:up a snake.
Speaker 4:What no?
Speaker 2:I don't remember Y'all were the one who sent me the pictures. It was a little garden snake Snaking. She just picked it up and was shaking never happened.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 4:I kind of do now that's some Florida activity, yeah.
Speaker 2:And my mom and dad don't remember Mom was not in the car with me, but it was me and dad and it's when he had that Nissan truck. This is the two-door Nissan truck and there's a little baby gator. And dad said if you go over these too fast at night and you don't see it, it can pop your tire. And he grabbed it by the tail and just slung it off on the side. It was only like a three-footer, two-and-a-half up your tire. Well, he's still slung it off to the side. What?
Speaker 3:do you do I.
Speaker 2:I've seen my dad grab snakes and stuff so I kind of like if it was a full-on alligator. I've been like, alright, dad, let's just go around it, like. But I wanted to see him chuck a little baby one.
Speaker 1:Would you check a baby one?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I saw it was so slow.
Speaker 4:Maybe ones aren't scary. Most of them are fast though.
Speaker 2:Well, he just grabbed it by the tail, just chucked it off to. They couldn't even see me do it, but he just took it off to the side and they don't remember that and people think I'm not telling the truth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's like no, that's very.
Speaker 2:That's happened. That's my dad coded.
Speaker 3:Cool. I think it was a dream Is that we pick up anything though. I'm telling you, yeah, and just chuck it then why did this memory stand out to you and why does he? Know, because my dad threw an alligator dude but you said he did this kind of thing all the time, so I'm trying to figure out why this memory was specific to you because I've never lived in Florida, and so when I went to go visit him, that was one of the things that we did.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you were older.
Speaker 3:You're not like a little kid? No, oh, I thought this wasn't like you're a little kid or something. Yeah, no, okay great.
Speaker 1:No, they're so, and but why?
Speaker 2:doesn't he?
Speaker 1:remember that.
Speaker 4:Well, he's old and had state cancer or anything. I.
Speaker 2:Told her why, mom. He was sick for a while, his brain cells were damaged, but my man is strong and he persevere. Okay, mom? Well, they have some questions for you.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I didn't come up with them.
Speaker 3:Okay, I have questions.
Speaker 2:Sure okay, so.
Speaker 3:Javier has told me about his adoption story and this is exactly what he's told me. This lady didn't want me, and then I was in foster care and then my dad came and picked me up and then I was there and that's basically it. That's literally the story he's told me. That is not what.
Speaker 1:I thought you were gonna say, and then he said that you guys didn't even want him and then he was your second choice, so we need some clarifying answers here.
Speaker 2:This is what I've told them. They're making it sound really chopped in bad that my birth mom did not want me because she was too young and so she could not keep me, and that, hello, that was back when abortion wasn't the only choice that doctors presented to you, holly.
Speaker 2:Red flag presented and then anyway, or trigger, trigger for somebody, and then so she didn't want me because she just couldn't, she didn't know how to care of me and she wasn't sure how her mom would feel about her being pregnant, because you had told me that she stayed with her grandmother while she was pregnant and that the first lady that had me didn't want me because she just didn't want a baby. She didn't want someone that young. And then dad got me and that?
Speaker 4:Did you like me to just tell you the real story?
Speaker 2:Yes, Well no, because you had. You weren't able to have kids anymore, and so you didn't even want dad to really come and get me at that time. And then dad brought me home and then you said, as soon as you held me there's a lot more to this story as soon as you held me, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. No, but they're making it sound bad.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna try to make it as convinced, condensed as possible. We were foster parents.
Speaker 4:We had two biological children. I could not have any more children but desired to have more. But I knew God. It told us to be foster parents. So I had that need fulfilled through foster parenting. We had a. We got a lot of young babies, a lot of prison babies, babies that were born in prison their parents. So they have to come into foster care If there's no family member that can take them.
Speaker 4:And so I become really attached to this one particular baby and when it was time for her to go, I'd had her for two years. She was mine in my heart and it just broke me. I was just devastated that I had to give this child back because in my world she was mine and so, as much as I knew that God had told me to do this, I didn't care. And that's how my relationship with Lord, I'm just real. And I was mad. I was like God, I'm not doing this anymore. And so I told you're assigned a caseworker.
Speaker 4:I had a caseworker assigned to us and I said I had two foster children at the time, our two biological children, and I said I've got to give her back, so I'll keep this other one, but after he goes I don't want any more. I don't call me with any more children, I'm not doing this again. And I just knew that. I knew that God had told me you this is what I was supposed to be doing. And I told God I don't care. And I did so the day I had to bring this particular baby little girl back to her birth mom. I'm crying, I'm in the car and a bus passes me and it's a prison bus and it was full of women, which is odd, because usually there are men that do it more often and the Lord told me that was a bus full of babies and, in other words, there's more work to be done. And I said I don't care, I'm not doing this again and I'm crying.
Speaker 4:And I am just really upset and I'm adamant that I'm not doing this. So give the child back. And I'm, you know, a mess. And we go home and within a day or two the caseworker calls and she says I have an emergency placement. And I said no, not doing it. He said I have this little boy. He was born and the foster parents took that, currently have him, took him because it was an emergency, but they're not and I honestly don't remember the reasons but they're, they're not in a position to keep taking care of this child. And I said no, so I'm speaking to my husband later and I said oh, a Delphi called and they had a baby. And he said would you tell her? And I said I said no. He said how could you say no? I said.
Speaker 2:I said no, no, real simple no.
Speaker 4:And I said I can't do that anymore. My heart cannot take the pain and the hurt. And he said, well, I really think we should do this, it's an emergency, and it just kind of guilted me into it. Well, when we would get a new child in our home, it was like Christmas, so I would meet the caseworker, whether it's at the hospital or somewhere, to pick up a child. It was, you know, like yay, we're gonna baby and I'm so excited and I said, well, I'm not going, I'm not loving another child.
Speaker 4:This is the pain is too much.
Speaker 4:I can't do this and I said you'll have to go pick this one up. And I was just adamant, I was so hurt and so he did the one. And only time he went he picked up this baby. And I can picture it like yesterday, and he walked in the house with his baby and he handed me this two week old baby and put him in my arms and I just held him and he just melted in like it's like he just fit in between my you know, in my chest. And I looked at my husband and I began to cry and I said I'm gonna get hurt again or not. And my husband went and then he just shrugged and walked off and I thought oh great.
Speaker 4:Little did I know it was Javier. Did not plan to adopt. That wasn't on my radar but it was on God's and he was just always meant to be ours and some things that kind of don't matter. But I'm super sentimental into I like you know weird things and with most foster children I took pictures and stuff. But with my biological children I had, like their bracelets from the hospital and their you know the stuff out of the bassinet and their home the going home outfits and all this.
Speaker 4:His first foster mom had all that stuff and sent it Wow.
Speaker 3:Oh what?
Speaker 4:And I still have it. It's in your baby box. But later, so later, of course, we fall in love with him and later we were the opportunity we were able to adopt. Because the story is, his birth mom was young, pregnant at 15, ready to have him at 16. And she didn't have a good support system and she was wise enough.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 4:I believe that he was always supposed to be ours. He was mine, and God just brought him about it in a different way and she gave us a gift. And that's how I look at it and that's how he was raised to look at it. We recently had some deep discussions this trip about her and his birth mom and dad. I'm not intimidated by it because I know he's mine.
Speaker 4:And he was always mine. And the day he melted inside it was, and I love to tell people prior to getting Javier, I had given birth to two biological children and I had the mindset, if you, that an adoptive mom could not love a child the way I loved, because I gave birth.
Speaker 4:I was young and that was my mindset, like there's no way, because this child grew in me. But then, after adopting Javier and the way, the relationship I have with him and what God did in my heart, I know I was wrong. We jokingly have said that the years I love him more Because I know he was a gift.
Speaker 4:And there's no. But there's no difference in my heart how I feel between him and his siblings none. But I didn't know you could have that, and that's the true story and that's what happened. So it wasn't that he wasn't wanted or didn't want it. No she said no, he's a drama W dad.
Speaker 2:thank God for dad.
Speaker 4:I just didn't knew there was more to the story, the one good thing, your dad did.
Speaker 2:And then they struggled with this detail and maybe I am wrong, but didn't dad just go? And get me from the house of the other people.
Speaker 4:Well, because we actually fostered for a private agency, we weren't with the state.
Speaker 3:So this agency was a.
Speaker 4:Christian agency. And they? They did not. They weren't proponents of adoption because they were out to help the birth moms. If they pushed adoption, then a woman wouldn't feel comfortable leaving their child with this agency.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 4:So when his birth mom gave birth in the hospital, she had hid her pregnancy because of her home situation, so she didn't want to leave the hospital with she couldn't, she had no place to bring a baby. So a caseworker from a hospital got involved and contacted this agency and so he was placed With the idea of reunification and his mom was to re-enroll back in high school and tell her family and, you know, work towards Getting him back and she had no support system. So those the plan in action. You always have a plan. She wasn't able to complete these steps so because this adoption a, this agency was not an adoption agency and weren't, they could not Facilitate our adoption. But we had a wonderful caseworker who knew that we had fallen in love with him and he was to be ours.
Speaker 4:So she, at some point, we said we're going to fight, we're going to get an attorney, we're going to keep this one. He's supposed to be ours. She said, let me, let me contact the mom, let me find her and let me talk to her. And she did, she found her and she presented her with this family who loves him and so forth, and his mom was able to relinquish her rights and sign the adoption paperwork. We did not have to fight or go to court and all those things. That's why I say she gave me a gift.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but in doing that, we had contact with her during those final days of meetings and you know, do and. And I was able to tell her I don't want, I'm not changing his name, because that's important to me, which that you gave him that name. It's, and you know we didn't. His middle name is his birth, given it last name, and we kept his name and just some things like that. Share stories and family history and so in doing that, yes, your dad went to their house, because I Told you, I just didn't know.
Speaker 3:I said Imagine a state government Funded agency being okay with like parent to parent contact like that. And it wasn't government, it was a private agent.
Speaker 2:I know that. Well, I just said my dad got me directly from the other lady and brought me to the house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were like he just picked me up.
Speaker 4:He did just pick me up I said there's more to the story, and there was he got her him from the caseworker, yeah from the mother. But we did have contact with the mom and I did contact her through the years and send her pictures. That because that was an agreement. We had mm-hmm non-facilitated by the agency.
Speaker 2:So I told y'all right. She just told y'all in a more beautiful way.
Speaker 3:I just shocked by some of the details, and now they make sense to be honest.
Speaker 4:We we were always honest with Javier.
Speaker 3:How did you tell him?
Speaker 4:It was well me knew. But I always, we always, told him I believe in telling kids answering the questions age appropriate. And he, you know, he knew he was adopted but he knew he was supposed to be. Mine is how I would word it that his mother gave me a gift, because I believe that with all my heart and he went through a phase when he was younger he wanted to meet her. He wanted, you know, I want to know, I want to see who I look like and it wasn't the time.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 4:I don't remember his age, maybe nine or ten, and he was adamant and I just said when the time comes, I Will go with you, we will find her and you can meet her, but right now you can't because your heart's not ready for what we might find on the other end.
Speaker 4:Right, and, and he really received that, and then he didn't. He didn't have any other questions. Through the years He'd asked once or twice and then, as he, when he was a young adult, I said do you want to know? And he said, no, you're my mom and that's my dad, and and I don't care, and actually up until last night, there are some things that we've never discussed in almost 29 years. It's no secret because I'll tell him anything that I know that he wants to know, but I respect that. He's good that God gave he, he's mine.
Speaker 4:Yeah he's my son. Yeah and and I love it I love our adoption story. I'm a huge proponent of adoption. Yes, I thought I would adopt first adopt, not abort.
Speaker 3:Yes adopt, not shop. That's a dog at fostering thing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's so cool. She just called you a dog, Throwing that out.
Speaker 3:What is it?
Speaker 2:adopt, not shop.
Speaker 3:Yeah, mrs Peaches is adopt, not shop, don't buy a puppy adopt.
Speaker 2:Oh, whatever, hey. But and then y'all got a pretty big discount on me in the courts, right?
Speaker 1:You're on sale, well.
Speaker 4:I mean. I was on clearance for a home study and a lawyer. It was all done just like a Typical adoption. I guess you'd say you know it was a typical but but we didn't pay as much as if you went through an agency and adopted a baby from China or something you know kind of.
Speaker 2:Well, the only reason I I say that because our executive pastors like yeah, I think it costs like I mean 60,000 after everything that was also 20 years after you were adopted. Oh my gosh. Yeah, well, I was. What was I? What did you have to end up paying for me?
Speaker 4:Probably about five hundred dollars, see. So I think, with inflation and the price you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do the man See. So yeah, god sent me in the right economy.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think. I think he was just saying you're cheap.
Speaker 2:He had to put me on sale for now, because my value would soon come out later.
Speaker 4:You have shoes that almost cost as much as you these are not five hundred dollars. I didn't say those. I said you have shoes.
Speaker 2:I Think, I think if we totaled up all the values, I'm not sure it costs more than me.
Speaker 1:I for sure, you probably had a pair of shoes that cost no, I've never paid more than three Honey.
Speaker 2:I've never paid more than that.
Speaker 3:So close to it.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, what was that?
Speaker 1:Look at this man in jorts.
Speaker 2:I like my boy Marshawn, sunday and Jorts and some neon green sliders, bro, Just here to praise them.
Speaker 3:I like it All right, mama Bates, we're going to do some speed questions.
Speaker 1:Got to answer fast.
Speaker 3:Okay. So what would be your death row meal if you had, if you were on death row last meal you're ever going to eat, what would you pick? Pizza, pizza, from where?
Speaker 4:Oh, I'm not even picky.
Speaker 2:Anywhere, just any kind of deep dish thin crumb, thin with everything, so probably a dominoes.
Speaker 3:It's her death row. She gets a dominoes, she just said from anywhere, but you're going to do faster than a dominoes.
Speaker 4:Maybe a little thin slice of from New York.
Speaker 3:He says like would you have dessert? Yes, cheesecake Very good, regular cheesecake.
Speaker 4:Regular cheesecake, what's a?
Speaker 1:drink Diet Coke Sweet tea Sweet tea so good, what a summer so so good, okay, what's your dream car?
Speaker 4:I've had my dream car. I love it. What is it? A Fiat 500C? Oh, okay, what, colin, I had red right? No, it was like a turquoise ocean color blue. Way off there With a sandy top.
Speaker 3:Okay, and what was your top speed in that car? Since you already?
Speaker 2:had it 50?
Speaker 4:No, I think I did 95. Oh God Speed racer.
Speaker 2:Not bad, not bad, that's a little race.
Speaker 3:Javi drives like a grandpa, so that's good to hear she does not think I do.
Speaker 2:I just told her this is how you have to drive an Albuquerque, or you will get rear ended.
Speaker 1:No, the first time he drove it in my car he was like why are the lines going so fast?
Speaker 2:Also the first time I rode with her, she hit like three curbs in one night.
Speaker 1:Oh hey, but it's are we alive.
Speaker 3:Okay, what's your favorite movie of all time? Like what would you consider like one of your favorite cult classic?
Speaker 4:movies Jerry Maguire oh that is a good one. Is that the? You complete me. You had me a hello.
Speaker 3:Okay, what would be like your favorite Disney movie?
Speaker 4:Cinderella.
Speaker 3:Very good. Why Cinderella your favorite?
Speaker 4:I just always have loved the Cinderella story. I mean, you know it's sweet, yeah the rags to riches. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I just like that.
Speaker 3:It is, I just like that because everybody always says one of the new princesses now. So I think that that's very good.
Speaker 2:They're freaking. Pc bought movies.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay. So one thing that we know about you is that you have been on a lot of cruises, yes, so can you give us like a tip for anybody who could go on the cruise in the future, like a tip or a secret hack for cruises? Just like a little insider edition?
Speaker 2:thing, Just go. Just go do it. No, give them the secret on how you get them so cheap. Oh, if you if you really are interested in one cheap.
Speaker 4:check the prices all the time, do you know? There's? There's websites out there. I don't know if it's okay to promote a particular one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll get a sponsorship.
Speaker 4:Vacations to go. It has a 90 day ticker. If you can do last minute cruises, oh, get the best prices. Listen up everybody. You go to the 90 day ticker and you find the part. You know the elist, destinations, dates, cruise lines find the cruise that you want. But then you go to that cruise lines website. Don't go through an agent, don't just search it yourself and you can always call them and they will beat the price.
Speaker 3:Oh, very good, Okay Because the ship's wide open. And do you have a favorite cruise? Oh?
Speaker 1:yeah, what if we?
Speaker 2:just went on a cruise with you.
Speaker 3:Yeah that'd be awesome and what's what's the best cruise line in your opinion?
Speaker 4:I haven't gone on a lot Okay.
Speaker 1:I really love corn.
Speaker 4:I mean a lot of different ships.
Speaker 3:Oh, I feel like your favorite, like Disney hands down has the best food.
Speaker 1:Too many kids though.
Speaker 4:Well, they actually have adult areas. Yeah, and where kids aren't allowed, and so they're great. I don't get my money to Disney, but their cruises are expensive, it's hard to get a good like a cheap price on a Disney cruise that makes sense, and Royals okay. I think Cornible's the most fun. People kind of think that Cornible's just a party ship. I don't party, but they do everything else that I love. They play the music.
Speaker 3:I love they have lots of games and things to do yeah, I've been on a carnival cruise and it was really fun. I did a carnival as well.
Speaker 2:I went on one cruise with my family and I don't know. I just it was fun, but I definitely felt the boat is shaking.
Speaker 4:Oh, I get seasick every time I go yeah there's things you can take and use to keep from.
Speaker 2:Why just not be in any?
Speaker 4:That's where you can hand up Okay hit her with the last one.
Speaker 3:Okay, and what is one piece of mom advice? Because you had at least one crazy child in your house at all times. So what's one piece of mom advice you have to any moms who are listening Be?
Speaker 4:firm fair and consistent Very good.
Speaker 3:The FFC firm fair, consistent yeah.
Speaker 2:Is that a? Thing?
Speaker 3:It is now oh.
Speaker 2:Lauren has her degree in moms oh parenting. What is it?
Speaker 3:No, you got it. Let's hear it.
Speaker 2:Children and parenting, counseling or something like that.
Speaker 3:That's not it Children and family development but he was very very close she is genius.
Speaker 2:So you've seen what happens with lack of consistency and firmness and do you like it and you believe in spanking? Yes, I do Amen.
Speaker 3:Hello, yeah, what was the most memorable spanking that you ever had with Javier?
Speaker 4:Actually, I do know. Oh I didn't do it. Even better, Because Javier was a foster child until two. He was two before we actually could sign the paperwork. You're not to able to physically discipline foster children.
Speaker 3:They had a lot saved up for you. Yeah, so they were thinking about building.
Speaker 4:He had not really had a spanking. You know, we had probably popped his hand or his leg or something. You know if he did something, but he had not had a real spanking.
Speaker 4:He was probably closer to three and he had developed this he would go out the door into the garage and go outside, and that is dangerous and bad, you know can do that, and he had been told not to do that, to go just out the door. Yeah, and I don't remember how many times we, we were the type of parents, um, we felt if you told a child 15 times, you've told them 14 too many.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So, um, after he did it again, after being told not to just go out the door, you know, he's not even three, he's wondering down the sidewalk. Right. So my husband had to give him his first spanking. So I'm in the kitchen crying because he's having to get a spanking. Cause that's my baby, my daughter, who's his second mommy, is crying because he's in the back getting a spanking. I've never forgotten that. Um he never went out in the garage again.
Speaker 2:My. My most memorable spanking for my mom was as I was acting up at school and the teacher said I'm going to tell your mom and I said that's okay because she doesn't spend card. And so she told my mom that I said that. And when we got to the house I think we went in Jessica's room I just remember it being girly but she had left out like one of those three foot rulers a yardstick, yardstick. Why she was using that and just left it out, don't know.
Speaker 3:It's a gift from God.
Speaker 2:My mom just saw it was like perfect.
Speaker 4:And I'll never forget, you're not trying to hurt a child and leave a mark and a bruise but so you get something like a paint stir or something that pops. You feel it it's things, but it doesn't hurt you. Yeah and um, so we chose this.
Speaker 3:That's what the type of things we've been Spank me with whatever was close to my mom. Yeah, we had to pick our own belt.
Speaker 2:We had to pick our own belt Sometimes like go pick your belt. And that was funny because we would try to pick the belt that we thought would hurt the least which hurt the most, and we would pick the thin ones. Well, those are aerodynamic, and so those will come with the whole they go Indiana Jones with the thin ones. But or is that too old of me to refer to?
Speaker 3:Indiana Jones too old. We're talking about spanking that already.
Speaker 1:I remember I used to get spanked a lot as a kid and my older sister would not. She was the like, always the good kid. And then there was one time she was getting spanked and she was like, and I was like crying and I was like telling my parents, I was like, please don't spank her, just spank me instead. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But that's like one of my spanking memories. I miss the days of like two like when we would do something wrong but we would somehow manage to push it off on another sibling and then so they would get in trouble for something, but we did it to each other all the time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, most of you and your brother.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 4:No, I was just a good sister.
Speaker 2:Well, mom, we loved having you on.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much, it was fun.
Speaker 2:You broke history last year. You're the most listened to podcast.
Speaker 4:Wow.
Speaker 2:Let's do it again, yes. Round two and then a hundredth episode when we get there.
Speaker 4:I'll be here On a cruise ship, on a cruise ship Can see it now.
Speaker 3:Wow, oh, that'd be so good.
Speaker 2:Or we'll just go to Florida, go to food conference.
Speaker 4:That'll work. I'll be there. I'm in Florida.
Speaker 2:Go see Richie Junior picnic on the beach. She does like the beach a lot you love the beach.
Speaker 4:Love the beach.
Speaker 2:All right, mom. Well, we love you. Thanks for being here.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I'm glad.
Speaker 2:Crumble was not as much as I like it. I love it. I think it's great. But hey well to all the listeners. We love you, we love you, guys. We want the best for you and we'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 3:Bye, bye, bye, bye.