What's up everybody? Welcome to the Reclaim Your Voice podcast. This podcast is dedicated to the unseen, unheard, and underrepresented. I'm your host, Leslie Lew. Trauma informed self-defense coach, international bestselling author and speaker and founder of Reclaiming Your Courage. Each episode is an unfiltered celebration of speaking from the heart, having fun, and celebrating the diversity of thought and stories from traditionally marginalized folks.
Hi. On today's episode, we're gonna talk about your girl started a podcast. I promise that I'm not that full of myself, you guys, that there's actually a deeper purpose behind all of it. And in fact, I'm not even someone who's that shy, but the thought of hearing my voice like this made me wanna shit my pants.
And full disclosure, if you're someone who gets heart palpitations or armpit sweats from hearing F bombs, then I won't be but hurt if we have to part ways. I want you to, , learn some fun facts about me. I'm a San Francisco native, uh, born and raised in the yay area. I am a geriatric millennial, is what I call myself a noodle aholic with a wild obsession for karaoke.
And in fact, I will sing a little ..... "late at night when all the world is sleeping I stay up...." This is dangerous for me cuz I love karaoke anyways, and coffee and roundhouse kicks anything. Eighties pop culture and farmer's markets. I create earthquakes with my voice and I swear to goodness if you cross me or anyone that I love, I will kimchi slap you.
I am a mother of two kids under five, a wife and apparently a human pillow to our Staffordshire pitbull who actually eats more nutritious foods than all of us combined. So she has a very, very sweet life. I identify as a second-generation Korean and Chinese American, and I am a two-time black belt, and I've been a martial artist for over 20 years.
And. , you know, the story of what kind of transformed me into a trauma-informed, you know, coach is kind of similar to the same reason why I decided to start a podcast. And, uh, I wanna share that with you today. So, um, yeah, a couple years back, maybe three or four years, I was in a traditional gym setting working alongside two other amazing women.
Teaching traditional self-defense. And when you think about traditional self-defense, you think of things like carrying pepper spray, poking someone in the eye, maybe putting keys in between your fists and. . What I realized really quick is that the way that we defend ourselves as women has to evolve because of the pandemic and um, just the way that people interact, uh, as a result of that has changed.
So we were doing kind of the traditional thing of like, you know, how to escape this, how to do this and that. And I noticed that there were always a handful of women in the. That just couldn't catch on to the technique right away. And everyone around the room would try to push that person by raising their voice, and I just didn't think that that was something that would've helped them in that moment.
So I took a step back and then I took five steps forward and started asking questions around. What's going on for you right now? Why are you mentally constipated? What has happened that's creating a block for you? And really, really focused on creating a safe space that was built on your identity and how the way you identify intersects with the way that an attacker perceives you on the street.
And then it also opened up for a lot of stories around how people, you know, were brought up the stories that they were saying to themselves, the relationships in their life that were impacted by narcissists or other people gaslighting them, or maybe in the ways at work where they weren't able to assert their boundaries and really stand up for themselves.
So I spent a lot of time holding space for them, and so I developed a system. Of self-defense through mind, body, and voice. And the reason why that was so important is because I just didn't believe that it was okay to just tell people, here's the pad, hit the pad, right? Because sometimes technique doesn't naturally come to s, you know, to someone.
And I was more interested in what's behind the kick. So really, really spending time and doing this inner work, uh, with these women. Was really important because when we were able to tap into this and align and energetically put out mind, body, and voice and this concept that you are worth fighting for and you are not alone and you are enough, made them.
Incredibly powerful, and they were able to get out of the technique like a bat outta hell. So they would have like these 220 pound men, um, on top of them, wrist pinning them. And once we kind of tapped into this mindset piece and to really, really take accountability for their voice and to speak up and to create body awareness, boom.
They were able to do it so much quicker and so much stronger than they had before. And so that's where my passion really, really started with trauma-informed self-defense. It, um, really propelled me to start my own company. Reclaiming your courage. Just because, um, I think that traditional martial arts places and gyms are great, but a lot of times it's not their fault.
They're not necessarily focused on folks that don't have access to it. And what I, when I say folks, I mean bipo folks, you know, LGBTQ plus neurodivergent, uh, differently abled communities and really coming from this lens of like, not retriggering, someone's trauma. And, um, you know, as the season progresses, like I will be sharing more about my own experiences of healing.
But, um, you know, it's important for someone to ask you about consent around touch, for someone to have empathy, uh, about protecting trans youth, for example. And just really giving a voice to people I think is really real, really important, rather than, Hey, just come to the Chuck Norris Dojo and, and go for it.
And so, um, I also learned that you. People had very real fears around physical attacks, but then there was this bigger piece around non-physical attacks that were coming up. And non-physical attacks were things like them beating themselves up and the words and the limiting beliefs and, and the sense of worthiness that they lacked.
Uh, I started to hear language from my clients around like, , well, I didn't fight back because I didn't wanna harm the attacker. I was always raised to be proper and good, and so I, I didn't wanna like scratch and, um, do anything. And so my role as a coach too was to really help them understand that their pain and their darkness.
like they didn't have to live there, and there was a way towards a calming light.
And so to really, um, stand beside them and support them, um, was incredibly rewarding for me and incredibly powerful. And so, um, I just wasn't seeing a lot of that happening. Um, in terms of, Consent and co-creation and, and really helping people feel settled and to be able to process their feelings and to be able to even talk about traumatic things that have happened to them on the street or them escaping, uh, domestic violence situations or maybe the ways in which they were in a toxic relationship with someone.
So, um, that in a nutshell is really what birthed my company and then, When I thought about this idea of creating a podcast, I was like, okay, well everybody and their mama has a podcast. What do I really wanna say? What do I really wanna do? And quite honestly, what got me here is that I never felt like there was a table for me to sit at.
And what I mean by that is like I didn't fit into anyone's box. Like, I'm not a prim and proper Asian at all. , I'm loud, rowdy, unapologetic. I got mosquito bites for breasts, but I got a big old booty. You know, like the pi, the type of big old booty that rips through like the stitches on jeans like that.
I have to throw out a lot of the times, and so I. , I didn't feel accepted on in anyone's table, so I was like, okay, well I'm just gonna create my own table because people think of self-defense, um, in this very linear way, and I wanted to do a different way and show people another way. And so that's really why I'm here in the podcast, is that I don't see enough bipoc women.
Queer youth, um, and enough representation of the queer community. Uh, I don't see a lot of representation for neuro divergency or, um, for people who are from differently abled communities. I mean, I just want, I mean, it's, I just want to see someone that looks like someone. I grew up with or I can see a part of myself in, and, and that's really what I'm here to do, is to really amplify it.
And it's really not about me, uh, speaking all the time. It's really like having a platform where others can really celebrate, but also honor these experiences rather than having to like trim. and modify just to kind of fit the part, right? Like I identify as Korean and Chinese, but growing up I would go into the middle school yard and when I would try to go hang out with the Korean kids, they're just like, well, you don't speak Koreans, so you're not Korean enough.
And then I would go to the Chinese kids and they're like, well, you're not really Chinese. So what are you? And, um, in my heart, like another family that kind of emerged was the Filipino community. And so I've been very blessed to live in the Bay Area and to be surrounded by culture and to, uh, have so many people that surround me that give me love that come from so many different perspectives.
And I just don't ever. Enough platforms for them.
I see people in the social justice space, in the activism space and, and in all their ways trying to like, create more representation. And so, um, This is my small contribution to making sure that no one gets left behind and no one gets silenced. So I'm gonna keep it short and sweet and next week I want to talk about,
so thanks so much for listening.
If you are. Wanting to be held in a safe space and to build connection and really wanting to hold space for others who are struggling in a certain way, or just to be around folks that, um, get it. I am inviting you into a into a community that I've created, which is the woman warrior community.
It's about women standing for women fighting alongside them and creating a legacy of strength and being stronger self-advocates for themselves, their families, and for one another. Like that's the vision, right, is for. For you to have a safe space and not feel like you've lost your voice.
And so I invite you into the community. I will, um, drop the link here and it's available to you every week. And so, um, I hope that you've enjoyed a little bit of this tidbit, and I will see you on our next episode. If you are liking what you're hearing on this podcast and you are craving more connection, I'm personally inviting you into my woman warrior community.
This is a community where all women are welcome. We will be silenced no more, and this is a space for you to explore what it means to find your voice. Build genuine connections with others who aren't trying to fake the funk. If you wanna embrace who you are and stand in your power to learn how to make personal safety practical and simple, and simply just continuing to hear diverse voices, see you there.