Good Vibes Only with Elle Mace

Elle Mace is a Master Practitioner and therapeutic coach in eating disorders, obesity, body dysmorphia, nutrition and clinical weight loss. She is also a ILM Level 5 Coach & Mentor in life and positive psychology; menopause, relationships, neuroscience and self-worth.
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Marie gives an insight into understanding with vibrations and frequencies matter when it comes to your skin and wellbeing. She takes you on a journey of how the environment we surround ourselves in and the people we associate with can impact our mood and health. 

Transcript

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Welcome to Good Vibes Only. I am your host, Marie Reynolds, and I'm joined today by the lovely Ellie Mace, who is a Master Practitioner and Therapeutic Coach. She's a Therapeutic Coach in eating disorders, obesity, body dysmorphia, nutrition, and clinical weight loss. She also does life coaching and mentoring for positive psychology, menopause, relationships, neuroscience, and self worth. Wow. That's a big introduction. El, welcome. Hello. Hi, thank you for having me. No, it's an absolute pleasure. So if you could just tell us a bit about yourself and your story. Yeah, so kind of in a nutshell I'm basically a therapist and those are the parts that I specialize in. I got into this, especially the eating disorder, body image, self worth piece, because I suffered myself with a really difficult relationship with myself. certainly with food, my body, and my own self worth many, many years, it started, when I was around 10 and it went on for 17 years. And then I hit rock bottom with it. Enough was enough. And then when I went through my recovery journey, I was like, the knowledge that I was taking in, in order to recover. I was just fascinating. I absolutely loved it. I'd always been very interested anyway, in sort of Humans and behavior and stuff. And then, started to study and then studied in the qualifications, then eventually left my sales job, my corporate sales job, and now do this. Pretty much full time. Oh, wow. So, I mean, like with your journey with your eating disorder, I mean, 10 is just so young so how did your, your story start off Yeah. So there was no social media back when I was 10, but I just had this really. Difficult ratio of myself. I was always so critical of myself. My comparison levels are through the roof. I was constantly looking at other people thinking, why do you look like this? And I look like that. And you're eating that. I'm eating the same, but I don't, you know, it's not the same result. And so I can't pin it to like one. Like event or one thing. It was just a combination of a few things, um, certainly low self worth. Yeah. I mean, that is just a common thread with all of this, but there's also so many factors that link him with, genetics and gut health and, the gut brain communication with this, you know, with the serotonin levels and things that play a part of it. Oh, oh gosh. It, the list is actually like quite extensive and on the outside people will think, Oh, you've got an eating disorder or body dysmorphia. You, you don't like your body or you've got a problem with food, but actually for so many people, it is just like, it feels like out of their control. And in some elements it is, you know, genetics, chemical imbalances, like you said, hormone levels, serotonin levels, with the response we get from, from eating different things. And then of course you add in trauma and fight or flight and coping mechanisms, emotional regulation. This is why I started doing what I did because I was like, Oh my gosh, everyone needs to know that if you're struggling with your relationship with food in your body, stop trying to find a new diet plan and stop trying to find a plan. Yeah, exactly. In my world, energy medicine and things we look at all the different pathogens as well. The effects that even parasites have on the body and the brain is insane, especially with eating disorders. So explain to the listeners what exactly body dysmorphia is and, the different, subjects under that. Yeah, so you've got like body image and that is that can be positive for some people that can be negative that can fluctuate day by day depending on hormones and mental cycles and stress and all sorts. But body dysmorphia is like another level. So that's actually, a disease, it's a disorder. Yeah. And this can, again, be down to like genetics and chemical imbalances and, and all of that. But it's where it's kind of manifesting within the body. So you will feel really uncomfortable often about the way you look, or maybe in your body, it could be even to do with your face. And you obsess about these parts of yourself. Um, you may spend a lot of time, during the day thinking about it. It may stop you from being social, being in relationships, you may hide away, don't book the holidays, you know, it's really taking up a considerable amount of your time. And also often for people, they're actually really truly seeing something that isn't there, you know, so in their eyes, something looks a certain way, but actually it's very catastrophized, it's very exaggerated for them. But, you know, you can't just say, don't worry about it, you don't, you don't really look like that because, you know, it's part of the, disorder. Yeah. Um, and again, it's like, this is the food, like this is linked to one of the main reasons people have body dysmorphia is trauma. But like people, everyday people wouldn't know that. Yeah, no, that's right. We, you know, it's, it's like a hidden disease, isn't it? With all the different traumas and the different influences that people go through, and it does have a massive impact on, your whole wellbeing. So tell us about what type of things that you can do for people that are suffering with body dysmorphia, the eating disorders, but also menopause. Yeah, see, it's so difficult. historic years and years of dieting for women and obviously men as well, but I was talking about women here and then you chuck in the menopause, so you've had 30, 40 years of trying to manipulate your body, work against it, be at war with it. Then you have to navigate through menopause, which can feel even worse. You can get worse side effects if you have been a dieter for years. So what can you do? You need to kind of take a whole holistic approach. So my suggestion would be not to just focus on one solution and one way of working, but to try a variety of things, calm your, your life down, calm yourself down because to actually work through an eating disorder or work through body dysmorphia, it takes a lot of your, Brain power, energy, emotionally is probably one of the hardest journeys I've been on and my clients, you know, they'll all agree with that. Um, so actually commit to it, say, right, I can see my next six months of my diary. What am I going to cut out to just give myself as much time to really slow down, slow down the nervous system, de stress myself so that you have enough energy and power to take it on. Really look at stuff like mindfulness, affirmations, that whole reprogramming of the mindset and the neuropathways that you've created and that are already there. Do some trauma work. You've got to do some trauma release work. CBT therapy is the most successful therapy for eating disorders. So definitely look at some CBT techniques you can do on your own. So for people that don't understand what CBT techniques are, just elaborate on that. Yeah. Cognitive behavioral therapy. So these are more kind of like giving you tools and techniques that you can do for yourself. So more kind of practical base instead of as more conversational. So it's almost like rewiring pathways, isn't it? And quiet, that white noise that's going on inside your head. Yes, and they can be so powerful without also feeling like, so some of the activities that you could do will feel like quite nice and pleasant activities, rather than feeling like, okay, this is going to be really hard and it's going to be really serious and I don't want to have to talk about it. So you can almost attack the core of it, not necessarily with like talking about it, but thinking about attachments, thinking about surrounding parts, thinking about your. fit your thoughts, your feelings and behaviors. So instead of kind of maybe recalling, okay, let's go over this one event that happened, it could be more like, what are the feelings and thoughts that have surrounded that? So I highly rate it. So CBT therapy, and just looking at everything that's going on in your life, the people that you're surrounding yourself with. The environments, like I said, it's a 360 approach. But that's, that's a big thing, isn't it the people that you surround yourself with, I do something called the non emotional contract and, it's all about taking away all of the feelings that are attached with the people that you surround yourself with, because those people are a lot of the time are your loved ones. That, boundaries are overstepped, or, you take on this toxic behavior from them, or these, these little underlying words that people are giving you as these unwanted gifts that you're taking on, that actually can sit in your brain and that inner voice or that inner conversation that you have with yourself, can make you feel a certain way. So that is a big one setting boundaries and allowing to. to be okay with cutting these people off or, just say, no, that's not going to happen. Yeah. Setting yourself boundaries, reducing people, pleasing those two highly connected to the sort of dating that will increase your self worth, but absolutely. I think it's hard not to be scared to do that. It's terrifying. I'm sure most of us have a, a fear of abandonment or have experienced an abandonment to a certain extent. And that's highly linked to that setting boundaries. But, I think like a safe way to approach that is, okay, I'm not going to cut them out, but maybe I simmer them down. Maybe I've reduced the contacts. Now I'm still feel safe. I still feel like it's okay. And you can start to work through it and have compassion for yourself because it's one thing working through someone's comments about you when you don't. actually have like an attachment to them, like you don't love them, you probably don't even like them, they're just a stranger. But actually trying to navigate through comments and behaviors towards you with someone you love, who is family or a friend, but actually you know that it's toxic, it's not benefiting you, is another level. Yeah. Yeah, and that takes a lot of strength and willpower, it does. But when you do you gain back that strength and willpower, don't you? You do. You do. And you know, there's the two outcomes here. You, you guys either drift apart or you kind of separate for a period of time or maybe forever. And that's what was meant to be, or it becomes a healthy relationship. Yeah. Dynamics change, and they have to figure out, okay, you're different to me now. And they've got to make a shift. It works. Hopefully it works out in a new way. Yeah. So who are your typical clients, are these women that have gone through, an eating disorder and are coming out the other end and still need that maintaining of help and support? Or are these parents or women that have gone through menopause? Who is your atypical client? So my typical client is going to be female. They're usually between around the age of sort of 28, 29, all the way up to 45 ish. Obviously I've, I've once had an 87 year old client who was amazing. I wanted to live her last few years, you know, happy. I know it's amazing and it was fab. And then she came and did a photo shoot in her white swimsuit. It was fantastic. Oh, amazing. Yeah. But usually around the late twenties to, to mid 45 and it's people who, yes, have experienced low self worth for a long period of time. that a difficult issue of food in their body. I'm have a lot of clients that are where they think they should be in life. So maybe that they haven't found a partner, they haven't had children. They're thinking that, you know, that their clock is ticking, et cetera. And then also lots of people who've had families and have given up their own self care and therefore. You know, have not looked after themselves and, or not had the time to, and people please and all the rest of it. And all of these people have usually got a backlog of stuff that's happened from when they were younger, growing up, undealt with situations, and it's really manifesting in their lives now. Yeah. And so what do you do sort of like workshops or online courses or how do people get on board Yeah, there's every way of working with me. So I have online self development courses. You can take it all in your own time. You can get qualifications in it yourself. You could work with me on a, like a quite an intensive one to one option. I also run groups, I run retreats. I've got one in Spain in May. Tell us about the retreats. We've got, they usually do two to three retreats a year. The next one, Revive and Thrive, it's in May, the first weekend of May. We do workshops on different things each day. So we will be covering off relationship to food and body. We'll also be covering off relationships around fear of like, you know, abandonment, relationships with friends and family and, intimate relationships. It's about letting go. It's about being in a really safe place. safe place. So everyone who comes is super vulnerable, so nervous, but actually learns to open up and share. We do fun things. We have a seco, we go on hikes, a few boat trips. This year, actually, for the first time, we're doing a rage ceremony with a guest expert coming in. I'm really excited about that one. A rage ceremony. A four hour rage ceremony. Wow, that sounds something special. So, what is this? Is this just everybody having a rant for four hours? Yeah, having a rant at all your inner demons and getting all of that out. Get it out. Get it out. So there will be more like therapeutic work to start off with, you know, really figuring out what's going on for you. And then at some point we'll go into the actual kind of rage piece, we have loads of big, big cushions and people just basically lash out Yeah. Onto cushions and just go absolutely mad. And then everyone else is cheering them on. So you know what you need, then you need some really good foods that support the liver because the liver is the organ that holds on to anger and frustration. So definitely get some foods there to support that liver when you're doing that. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. They like the adrenaline and the high of it. And then afterwards as well, you know, there's going to be needed to be some support going on there because it's suddenly like, Oh, now what? Yeah, that's it. I should think that that's. going to be quite exhausting for your attendees. Yeah, but also it's needed everyone. I speak to all my clients. I just think, Oh, that's anger. That's, there's so much built up frustration and anger because what happens is my clients, when they first come, they don't necessarily have this anger. And then when they go on their journey of. That's when anger sets in and they're like, actually, no, I'm so angry about that now. Yeah. Well, it's, it's all part of remembering and reprocessing and then purging it all out, isn't it? I have amazing results with clients that come in who have colonics and they're literally holding onto stuff. They've gone through trauma, they're holding onto stuff. And if I do specific acupuncture points for the liver or the gallbladder, and then I just say, look, you don't have to tell me what happens, but just like process it in your brain. Bang, they'll have a massive response that immediately affects with those emotions and the liver. It's just amazing how the body holds on. Not only the body, their organs. Your organs, how they manifest these different emotions and how they manifest out into physical imbalances. So how often do you do your retreat? Well, I run a business retreat as well. So a business coaching and mentoring retreat. But the other two. Usually twice a year around the May time, around the beginning of October time. We've got a business one in April, which again, it's quite a holistic business one. But I love the retreats because just taking people away from their hustle and their bustle for days that just the transformation people can have. It's amazing. Yeah, no, all what you're doing is absolutely brilliant. How long has this been, you've been set up I've been running for about four years now. So, and within that time, I've also had three children. Oh my goodness. What? Three children in four years. Yes. Wow. What have you had twins No, I had my first when I started the business, she's now four. And then I've got a two and a half year old and then I've got a four month old. Wow. Gosh. It's lovely. I'm saying that I'm one of the three under three. And they all thought my brothers were twins, but, uh, my mama had them in like 18 months apart. So. Wow. It is a lot. But when you love what you do, work for me is actually just a really nice get out from being mom I love being a mom, but just coming away and connecting with women on this kind of level, it's such an empowerment thing. And just, you know, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's just, and it's really, rewarding as well, isn't it? Oh, it's so rewarding. So are there any warning signs if you've got like a younger, younger people, that are, Suffering with these eating disorders or body dysmorphia. Are there any warning signs that parents need to look out for? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I have training courses in exactly this, so how to work with children, for body and food. So many warning signs, but also some that had nothing to do with food. So yes, there, if there's a physical aspect of food, they're starting to pick food that be picky. They're starting to, eat less or maybe eat more erratically. They're starting to be very conscious of the way they feel, the way they look. Maybe they're making comments about their friends. So that's all the stuff you can really identify it quite quickly. The hidden stuff is the, the withdrawing, the maybe anxiety signs of depression that could be linked to food or, you know, it's a bit chicken and egg really, hiding food. Even children like comparing themselves, questioning themselves, we're born with good self worth usually. So actually if they're starting to doubt themselves, not trust themselves, these are all signs. Okay, well, they're just brilliant tools for worried parents if they're concerned, that's really important, pieces of information that they can go onto your website and they can do a course to just show you the different red flags that may present themselves. Yeah, definitely. I've got a workshop that you can purchase now and a half workshop, or I've got a full CPD training course, which you can, you'll leave with, you know, you could even just get it and. Read it or digest it or you can actually take the qualification. Just on that, I would say, the best thing you can do Is be a role model is lead by example. So, you know, if you're there slagging off your own body or not eating certain foods, you know, you kind of got to expect to follow that. Exactly. Because they're sponges basically. And you're there all the time. And that's what they look up to. Oh, you know, Elle, this has been really, really good. So please just tell the listeners where they can find you on socials and your website. And also where they can come onto your retreat. Come, come, come. Three places left. So my website is www. elmace. com. My Instagram is at I am elmace. My retreat information is all on my website or just send me a DM. I'm pretty active on there. I'm also on LinkedIn elmace. The best options are my website and, instagram. Yeah, I know. Good old Instagram. I actually looked on one of your Instagrams where you had all your audience up dancing and, that looked fab. So tell us about that. What's this? Is this like, was it body positivity or? Yes, that was an empower you event. So I do speaking events. So going into businesses or running events, that particular one was an empowerment event. So very much the relationship with yourself, how to build confidence how to uncover what's really going on for you. Cause people ask if you're okay. And you're like, not sure, but I don't know why. So it's kind of like that a little bit. That was a fun one. I always like to get a bit of audience interaction going on. Yeah, brilliant. It's a great icebreaker as well, isn't it? Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah. I love an icebreaker. Oh, that's fantastic. Well, it's been so good talking to you, Elle. I wish you all the best of luck. And this is such an important topic, whatever age, whatever gender. So if you are struggling or if you need any help, make sure that you check Elle out on her socials and her website and, you'll find. Some amazing pieces of information and support there. Thanks so much. I'll take care. Bye bye.