16. Tips for Planning your LGBTQ Elopement!

This week I chat with Amber of Glacier Weddings and Events who is passionate about running a business that is both eco-conscious AND inclusive to ALL people.  We discuss everything from how sustainability and diversity intersect to her tips for any  couples listening thinking about planning an elopement or wedding! Enjoy!

The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic

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Transcript

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All right, clearly beloved, welcome to this week's episode. I'm super excited to have Amber of Glacier weddings and events here with me today, and I think you are all gonna really wanna listen in to this episode. So Amber, if you could introduce yourself, your pronouns, or any other identities that are important to. Sure. Yeah. Uh, my name's Amber Jackson. I'm like you said, owner of Glacier Weddings and Events. Um, she, her pronouns, other identifying factors. I'm a cat lcut, a stepmom, and love a good margarita. Yes. We'll go with That's the whole identity. The whole margarita. Yep. Yes. Oh, that's great. Um, yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about. Will, you just told us a little bit about yourself, which I appreciate, but Yeah. About your business. Yeah. What you do, how you got started. Yeah, so I actually, I went to college. I have a bachelor's of fine arts in all things dance. Um, so if you wanted to go down that dance history tangent, I could totally do that if you wanted. Um, but basically moved to Seattle, um, cuz it was a big city that wasn't, you know, LA or New York, that I thought theoretically I could afford. I'm not being super affordable. And then, um, but tried to be a professional dancer for a really long time and the job that kind of fit the best with that was catering. So I sort of clawed my way up through catering, um, and found that I kind of really loved events, um, and especially weddings. Um, worked for, you know, a couple other wedding planners. At this point. I've done cut a hundred events, um, and then started my business two years. So just kind of getting started, um, my main focus with the business is to push people towards more eco-conscious choices. Um, I know that no one's gonna be able to make a perfect decision. Like there are no perfect zero, a thousand percent, zero waste weddings out there. Um, but trying to kind of push people towards a smarter choice and really considering the ethics as well as like, you know, the packaging and all of those elements of, of sustainability that goes into an. Once you start seeing, you know, giant tears of cake thrown in the garbage, it's hard to not be like, oh, let's maybe not do that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You see, you see a lot at weddings. Mm-hmm. You're kind of just like, oh, I'm gonna just, just fly a little bit inside. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I was actually just thinking about that before we hopped on, is any of. Like related to your name or how did you pick your name? So my husband actually picked my name. Okay. Um, he had just gotten back from Glacier National Park, like right before I was starting my business and I was struggling to find a name. I didn't wanna go with the, like, you know, this and this name. There's a lot of like, you know, evergreen and Ivy and Pearl and something and names out there. And I wanted to do something that, Environmental without feeling super on the nose. So he's like, yeah, just got back from Glacier National Park. What about Glacier? I'm like, well, that makes sense. That's great. Have you been there? I haven't. I wanna go so bad. I feel like you could do like a whole like brand shoot there. Oh, I know. It's like my, there's these ice caves in Washington that I've been dying to do a style shoot in forever, but they're like a little bit dangerous to go in. Got it. Yeah. So you have to like hit the like perfect time of the season and then if you do that, it's a little chilly out. Oh yeah. That makes sense. Yep. You're like, actually I just own these glaciers. This is just, yeah, these are just actually, so do you ever wanna go out with me in the middle of winter? Let's do it. I mean, I'm from Minnesota, so I can We'll be fine. Handle it. Yeah. Yeah. And you're from Minnesota too, right? Yeah, I grew up in Farmington, so it's a small town just outside the cities. That is where I went to high school. No way. Oh my gosh. What year did you graduate? So I actually didn't go to Farmington High School. Mm-hmm. I went to the school right across the street, the little private school. Well, like we could literally see Farmington High School right across the road, huh? Yeah. I don't know if you, small world. Yeah. That's so crazy. Oh my gosh. Um, yeah, I went to college in Mankato. Okay. Yeah. Very cool. And then after, after that, that's when you moved out to Seattle? Yeah. Okay. Wow. I love it. Yeah. And I love that now you have that perspective of like being in the Midwest. Mm-hmm. And, and then also being out in the per Pacific Northwest. Mm-hmm. Um, Which I will have a question on later, but just to kind of give people more context, um, I do see that a lot of your passion is about eco consciousness mm-hmm. And sustainability, um, as a wedding and enrollment planner. So what does that mean and what does it mean to you personally? So for me personally, a lot of it is about. There's this, there's this YouTuber that talks about eco minimalism as opposed to like eco perfectionism, so mm-hmm. It, it's more about buying less, buying secondhand, using less disposing of things properly. That, that's kind of where my mindset goes more towards, because I mean, Unfortunately, there's only a whole lot that you can do as an individual. So a lot of it is advocating for the change that you want to see. Um, so, but that's personally kind of my perspective on it and the way I implement that, eh, uh, the way I implement that into my business is really by pushing clients to just make better choices. Not everyone can have an elopement. You know, there's families, there's cultural things that other people are gonna have to kind of work through in a wedding. And as we all know, there's a lot of emotions tied to weddings. You know, a lot of moms that have been dreaming about their daughter's wedding for a really long time. So helping them kind of. Their ethics as well as all the other circumstances around their weddings and trying to make better choices. Like you don't have to have a perfectly vegan wedding to have an eco wedding. Mm-hmm. Would I love it if you did as a vegan myself, right? Yeah. Right. That feels so, that feels. Exactly like the right approach because it's like if you fall too much on the side of this is how things have to do, be done. Mm-hmm. Then people are just gonna feel nervous about messing up or Right. You know, anxious as opposed to feeling like motivated or inspired Yeah. To do something. Yeah. I try to keep it pretty realistic. For, you know, what you can actually accomplish. I have, I have, I've done, you know, massive 400 person weddings, which in and of themselves are very much not sustainable, but you know, they always rent everything. They'll get everything secondhand to core wise. We donate their flowers at the end of the night. Like we try to do all these things for them so that they can still feel like they made a more ethical decision at the end of the. Yeah. Yeah. And so I guess you even just kind of touched on it, but how, like what kinds of principles show up in your business as far as eco consciousness? So the main principles are buying less. Buying secondhand first and disposing of it properly. Those are like my, my three big things. Um, the one I think gets forgotten the most is disposing properly. Hmm. What's nice about the Pacific Northwest Northwest is it is, There's, their setup is just a little bit easier to work with, um, versus, you know, moving back to the Midwest, I'm like, oh, I don't even have a green beam like that. I just don't automatically get a green bin. Um, so you definitely have to do a little bit more research, but it's totally doable. Um, I have, you know, a neighborhood compost that I just drop on my compost off every week. Um, so I, I think it, it can be for sure doable, no matter where you're. Yeah, that was actually the question I was gonna ask you earlier is how, now that you've kind of seen both sides mm-hmm. The Midwest versus Pacific Northwest, how do you see that showing up differently? Like, how are they different from each other? Yeah. Um, especially when it comes to elopement, it's just so much more common in the Pacific Northwest to be able to do that. Um, so it's, it's less. If you talk to a wedding planner, they're gonna, they're gonna question it a little bit less of like, oh, you want Alop open a mountaintop, great. Versus out here, they're like, wait, you wanna do what? You sure you don't wanna like fly to the mid Midwest or the Pacific Northwest or Colorado or something to do that? And it's like, well, there's lots of places you can do it here too. The bad lands are beautiful. Yes. Know you recently posted something on your Instagram with a bunch of different places. Yeah. Um, I. I've always wanted do a wedding up in International Falls. Mm-hmm. Or, um, even mini Haha Falls has some really great spots and that's, you know, dead in the middle of the city. Yep. Yeah, yeah. No, I fully agree. I'm, I'm really trying to convince people that there's hidden gems in the Midwest and that Yeah. We can sometimes be teeth a little cheaper too. Oh, it's significantly cheaper, I'll tell you that. Especially with that plane ticket. Right. Yeah. How would you say though, in terms of, and, and again, like we want this to feel inclusive to everybody, but like if you were talking to a couple in South Dakota, for example mm-hmm. And like trying to be like, yeah, we're gonna be sustainable and stuff. Do they generally receive it differently than someone living out in Washington or. I, I've gotten a wide variety in both locations, honestly. I think because my approach is not like you have to do X, Y, and Z number of things. People are a little bit more comfortable with it. Mm-hmm. Um, because then they're able to kind of make decisions within what makes sense for them, as opposed to if I was like, no, you have to have a vegan menu. You have to compost everything at the end of the night. You cannot purchase a single item. You have to rent or buy secondhand everything. Then I think I'd probably have a little bit more push. Um, but that's, that's why I kind of go for that more realistic approach of like, what we can accomplish together as opposed to what I'm putting onto you to accomplish. Sure. I definitely get a little more, I get more questions in the, in the Midwest than I did in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. I think sometimes, cuz I've done a handful of weddings, um, like in the Dakotas as well, and it's just like, you know, it can be a different vibe of like, okay, there's a whole, there's a whole bin just full of beer cans. Okay, great. Yeah. Yeah. And like a, a lot of what I've noticed is, especially in the Dakotas, is it, it's like the immediate ideas to go to a ballroom, like go to a hotel ballroom, go to a hotel ballroom, and that's where most of the weddings take place. And it's like, well, there's other options, right? Yeah. Yeah. But cutall, it sounds like you're saying the, the idea kind of is, It can be for anyone. Like the way you present it is that it doesn't matter where you live or like mm-hmm. Like it's accessible for you to do and I'll show you how to do it kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. That's great. I love that. We need more of that. Yeah. So kind of on that same note of eco consciousness and also trying. You know, be welcoming. Mm-hmm. How do you kind of see that intersection between eco consciousness and being inclusive in your business? I mean, in general they're the, the eco-conscious bride out there, or, or, or groom or whoever, um, that's gonna book me is generally gonna lean more in a certain direction, politically speaking, so to speak. So that in and of itself is like, that's probably where my client meshes in with, um, being inclusive. But I also, I'm pretty vocal about it. I'm, I'm definitely not shy about like, Hey, this is for everybody. I don't care what gender you are. I don't care what your situation is. I don't care if there's two people or maybe three or maybe four, like especially having, you know, lived in the Pacific Northwest for a long time. That's, that's just stuff you see, like, it's just sort of, Normal. Um, and it's something I've definitely had to kind of push back on a little bit, being back here of like, no, it's actually just fine. You can just love whoever you wanna love them. Um, but I, I wear a pronoun pin to all my weddings. I feel like that's a really, um, like, easy way to do. I actually have it right here. Yes, we love it. My little yellow pin. Oh, so cute. Yes, everybody go by one of these. It's super great. Well, and and for me, what I tell my clients is, you know, if you are not comfortable with me wearing it, I'm totally fine to not wear it. If, if that's something that you don't wanna like open up a can of worms and out somebody on accident or something like that, but I'd rather have like that conversation with, you know, uncle Jerry or whoever with me than with the person we're. Protect at that point. Like, I'm not trying to out anybody. I don't wanna like open up conversations that we're not comfortable having on a wedding day, but I'd rather, if you're gonna get upset about something, be upset at me, not at them. Hmm. Yeah. That's really great. And you're just, you're kind of signaling to people like it's okay. Yeah. You're even just like having it. In your like email signature line of like, I, I've just recently booked, um, a lesbian couple and they're like, we booked you because we saw that. Hmm. Because we like, just immediately that signal's like, okay, we're good. Yep. Like, you care and you're ready to hear them out and Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna put some like links in the show notes for some pronoun pins cuz Yeah, it's a super great way to, and it's so easy, like it's such a simple thing that like makes such a great impact that you don't realize until, like I had a non-binary bridesmaid. They decided they wanted to be called a bridesmaid on a groomsman. Um, that. We wore a pronoun pin on their best friend's wedding day, and there was a lot of family members that were really uncomfortable with it. Mm-hmm. And they wore it to the rehearsal and I asked them, I was like, would would you be more comfortable if I also wore a pronoun pin? And so that was the first day I ended up wearing one. And to then have them come up to me the other night, like almost in tears saying that they were so appreciative of it, that they felt so much more safe. Like they could come to somebody if they needed to. That sold it for me. I've never done a wedding without one sense, cuz I was like, oh yeah. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna cry. Just thinking about that. I know. It's so great. Yeah. All right people, hopefully that sold you. Yeah. That's just wear a pronoun pin. It's very simple. Right. Yeah. And I think on that note, um, I mean that's kind of what I touched on in, in the Loom event is that it doesn't always seem like necessarily an obvious like connection, your intersectionality, but it's kind of like, You know, how we treat the environment, how we're impacting the environment, always has intersections and like we're just trying to make the world a better place. You know, so I think, well, the environment very intensely affects people and mm-hmm. We want people to feel comfortable and we also want the, the planet to be comfortable. Yeah. So it very much Yeah. Makes sense together. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that so much. Wow, you're so cool. Um, awesome. Yeah. Now that we've heard a little bit about you and like your passion and everything, um, I'd love to pick your brain a little bit about like the planning side of things since Yeah. That's what you do. So if, um, the couples here that are listening, what would you kind of say? As they're planning their wedding, their elopement, what do you usually tell people to start at? Start wise, especially for an elopement, the biggest thing is gonna be a location. Mm-hmm. Do you wanna stay in your area? Do you wanna go somewhere else? Um, I can talk a little bit about my kind of wedding story. So I got married eight years ago, almost nine. Congrats. Thank you. Um, and I actually had three weddings. Whoa. Okay. Yeah. We gotta hear. So I had no intentions of having a wedding when I got engaged, my husband and I were pretty young at the time. We didn't have the finances for it. We're like, we just wanna get married. Especially, I mean, I, I do have a stepdaughter, so sometimes it's just a little bit easier legally speaking, if something were to happen. We'd be, we'd be protected that way. Um, so we decided to get married, but we didn't wanna have a wedding. And then my mother and my mother-in-law went behind our backs and we're like, well, what if we just planned a wedding for you? Oh, God. So they, my, my mother-in-law lives in Costa Rica. My in-laws ex paid out there. 10 years ago or so. So they're like, well, what if we just have a big family wedding, like a big family vacation in Costa Rica and you just happened to get married? And I was like, I couldn't do that. Sounds fun. So technically my first wedding was that we couldn't legally sign the paperwork in Costa Rica. We had to sign it in the us. Mm-hmm. So, Put on a cute, like put on a cute dress, went to the courthouse, got the paperwork, and then went out to the beach in Seattle. My best friend signed it on as the officiant, and my parents just happened to be in town. That was my like mini, mini movement. That's like a true, which was very sweet. And then we had 14 of us in Costa Rica for my, like, what I call my wedding. Mm-hmm. Um, where we had. A semi standard Reed Bells kind of ceremony and stuff like that and dinner and all of that. And then we ended up also having a 50 75 person reception in my hometown. Um, because my parents really, really wanted to have all their friends and family all in one room. And I'm like, yeah, I get that. I was the first one to get married, so I was like, That's very nice of you. Yeah, I would've been like, right. I sort of ran the gambit. As far as weddings go, I mean, I didn't have like a massive reception or anything like that. Um, but I learned to value every size of wedding from that of I like would not have changed a single thing about it. However, if I had to choose a favorite. It was actually the very first, very mini little tiny ceremony on the beach. Mm. Yeah. Um, so anytime I'm talking to anyone that's eloping, obviously a lot of elopement kind of stem from this idea of, you know, COVID, we shut everything down, we couldn't really get married, so let's just go do it. Um, there's so much more, there's only so much more personal about those tiny, tiny elopement. That I don't think you can get from a big wedding. I love big weddings. I love like many, like, you know, 20, 30, 40 people weddings. But when it's just the two of you and an efficient, maybe two witnesses and a photographer, It's like, I've never, there's like words I would've never said out loud because I was, I, I'm an intrcutt by, by design. Mm-hmm. And there's like things that I would've never said as far as my vows go in something big. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So is that what, what makes the first one your favorite? That Yeah, that is totally what it is. And it's just, there's something so precious about it. Mm-hmm. Like we, we didn't put a ton of like, emotional planning into it. We just sort of went and did it. Um, a l as someone that is a planner now, it's like, maybe I would probably plan a little bit more next time. But there's, there's something very special about like just going out and doing. Um, and then I truly valued being able to then go back and have the wedding and have the reception and do all of the things that, you know, were, were important to me. Cuz being around my family is super important to me as well. Um, but I maybe didn't wanna stand up in front of them and like ball my eyes out while vowing all these things to another person. Also super famous. Mm-hmm. That's so. That gives you such valuable insight. Mm-hmm. Into, I feel like you experiencing that firsthand when you're talking to a couple and hearing them touch on certain things, it probably makes you feel like, okay, I really feel like this kind of wedding would be really suitable for you or whatever. Like, that's awesome. Well, and financially speaking, I mean, if you don't want a long engagement, but you don't wanna. Spend a ton of money. It's like, okay, go. Go have an elopement and then in 10 years at your vow renewal, let's have a big party. Like I, I found that I had a really good insight in talking to a lot of couples during Covid that were so devastated by the fact that they couldn't have their wedding that they'd been planning for so long. Because it's, there's still value in both. There's still a lot of value in just the two of you jumping somewhere really pretty and taking cool photos and like bawling your eyes out and not being self-conscious about all, like the hundred eyeballs watching you. And then there's also a lot of value in having a hundred people with you to support and love you. So I, I think, yeah, it gave me a lot of really good perspective on, on the different kinds of weddings you can have. Right. Yeah. So it sounds like you're saying the first steps are kind of picking location and also kind of the vibes you're going for. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's location, kind of like the, the vibes you're going with, what you're comfortable with, and then sort of scanning not only your budget, but also the other opinions around you. Mm-hmm. Because you always, I. I'm always a fan. If you want to say to your mother-in-law, like, screw it, I'm gonna do my wedding my way, and I don't care what you think, but you're also gonna be with your mother-in-law probably for most of your life. So if you can give a little concession here and there, like when with my mom, I very much was like, you know, the wedding reception is for you. Like, let's do all the things that you wanna do, and I'll show up and I'll wear a pretty dress and we'll have a great time. And my mom loved it, and I like fun too, you know? So it's, yeah, making sure that you're balancing what you want, but also also with the people around you because they will stress you out real quick if you're not careful. Right? Yeah. What would you say to those couples that really do want to either. Adjust us experience. Mm-hmm. Or something super small, like do you support them in navigating how to kinda put themselves first and sort of Yeah. Communicate to others? Yeah. I mean, boundaries are obviously really important in, in life as they are in weddings. So if you're really hard set on what you wanna do, then go do it. And I support you to do that. Um, There's always a way to find like a compromise. Very much like, I mean, family's family. You're, everyone's gonna know their family the best and if it's truly not a relationship that's gonna serve you, I don't want you to like push yourself into, into pleasing that person if they're really genuinely not being supportive. But if they are really supportive and they love you and they just, you. Have had this vision of your wedding day as well. There there is a compromise that can be made there too. Um, which is a lot of the way that we did our wedding was to have something for us to have something for like a really close-knit circle around us, and then to also be able to kind of bring in the bigger family and things like that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All things can balance, which is always so hard. Yeah. Yeah. Weddings I think are, they can be tricky to navigate. Yeah. For as far as wedding goes or, um, not weddings go as far as balance goes. Yeah. And they can sometimes bring out the worst in people. Mm-hmm. Yes. So we've, we've seen it, haven't, no, I think a lot of that is, is sort of changing, I think kind of our generation is, is letting go. A lot of that even, you know, my other friends that are parents are like, I mean, if they wanna go to college, great. If they don't, that's great. You know, growing up it was like, no, you're gonna go to college. Like the, that's your option. You're gonna have a wedding. That's your. And I think we're, we're kind of steering away from that in a lot of ways, um, which I think is really good. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully, hopefully we still got some s to me, but Yeah. Yeah. Change is slow, unfortunately. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So what would you say, um, this is kind of a, like a two for one question mm-hmm. But I'm curious, yeah. Just like what your biggest planning tips are when planning an elopement, and do you think that differs at all when you're working with a straight couple versus an LGBTQ couple? Um, biggest tips would be know your budget. I meet a lot of couples that do not have an established budget. Um, especially if they're coming to me later in the planning process and they're like, oh no, we just like, aren't gonna spend a ton of money. It's like, no, you need a number. Mm-hmm. Um, and I know that that can be a difficult conversation to have, especially when you're going into a new marriage, but it, it's. Every, a lot about wedding planning is practice for marriage. So it is, you know, how are we gonna resolve conflict? How are we gonna budget our money? We, we have to have those things in place. Otherwise, there's not a whole lot certain vendors can do to help you. Mm-hmm. Um, if I don't have a solid budget, DJs cost a lot across the board. Photographers cost a lot across the board. If we don't narrow down at all, I'm just gonna send you what looks best and then you're gonna look at it at the end of the day and be like, wow, I spent way too much money. Um, especially cuz I feel like the wedding industry unfortunately, does push you to spend more money. They want you to have more things. They want you to get the, like bridal robes and stuff like that. It's like you don't need all of it. Have a set budget. You're gonna know where to invest your money, as opposed to just ending up with all these things that you didn't really need. Mm-hmm. You're, yeah, you're being so much more intentional. Yeah. Um, cause I think that's the thing too, is that, I don't wanna say, this isn't necessarily like pushback, but just in the sense of like, I do, you know, bump into a lot of couples who are like, oh, you know, Like we've budgeted a thousand dollars for a photographer or something where it's like, okay, great. Where are you gonna find that? Like there's, there's that element too of like, there's definitely some like lack of knowledge about what cost in the industry for sure. Especially when it comes to DJs and photographers and videographers. I've, I've really noticed that. Um, but that's why for me as a planner, it's so much more useful for them to be like, this is the cutall like number we have to work with, as opposed to categorizing it really narrowly. Mm-hmm. Because if photography's really important to you, let's spend more on the photographer. If food's really important to you, let's spend more on the food. Mm-hmm. But if I don't have that big number, there's a big range in there of what we could spend on and it just starts to inflate really quickly. Right. Yeah. That's something that I'll, I'll talk to my couples about too is like not as like an end all be all, but just as an exercise. Like if you could only have three or four vendors there, what, who would you pick? Like what vendors would you put on that very tiny list? Yeah, great. Like that's where your priorities lie, so Yeah. Yeah. I literally, in my intake form, in my like questionnaire that I sent out, I'm like, what's your top three vendors? You have to. Mm-hmm. And more often than not, it is photography and dj and I'm like, that's great. Let's put more money towards that. And maybe DIY a little bit more on the bar side or on the food side. I, I think people are so stuck in like the traditional things they have to have in general in weddings that they forget that like, your budget works for you, but you have to have a number in order to make it work for you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I just, my whole episode last week was all about changing traditions in weddings. Mm-hmm. So like, I think we're definitely in that era too, as far as mm-hmm. Like, kinda like you've been saying, tradition can be important and it has its place, but that doesn't mean you have to do it. So, yeah. It's only if it's important to you. Mm-hmm. Right. And. Just following up on that second question. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like there is a difference at all when you're working with a straight couple versus an LGBTQ couple? Or is it pretty similar? It's generally pretty simple. Similar, I would say. Um, there's definitely like certain questions I ask LGBTQ couples that I don't necessarily ask my straight couples. Like, you know, is there some, are we like out, are we okay with all the family? Like how did that go? Unfortunately, there's a lot of, a lot of safety questions that I have to ask, um, because I wanna make sure that they're protected as well. Um, I mean, and I do ask my straight couples like, you know, is there any family drama I need to know about all that kind of stuff. Um, but it feels a little bit more personal with my, um, my career couples for sure. Mm-hmm. But as far as the actual like planning process goes, it tends to be pretty much the same. There's, you know, definitely a different of language in there. Like, you know, do you both wanna be called brides or is there a different name you'd like to go by? Um, I tend to stick with like, you know, team so-and-so, and team so-and-so and so bridesmaids and groomsman. Mm-hmm. Um, things like that, just to make sure that everyone is feeling inclusive. And I do that with my straight couples as well. But you definitely like, really wanna make sure you're doing that with, with more inclusive couple. Yeah. Oh, that's super cute. I've never heard the team thing before. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Makes it feel like they're all rooting for them instead too. I know, right? It's super cute. Oh great. It gets confusing every once in a while. Cause I did have, um, I had Amber and Laura once a few years ago, and my name is Amber and my assistant's name was Laura. So we had Amber and Team Laura, but then we just decided to mess with them. So I only hung out with Team Laura and she only hung out with Team Amber. It was very fun. Oh my gosh. And you're like, we'll just both get married today too. You know, like, what if I, what if I did the first look instead of the other Amber? Oh my gosh. That's so funny. Yeah, it was funny. That's, that's encouraging to hear though. While you are, you know, working with those couples and acknowledging their differences, it's also not like, okay, we have to go through something entirely different. So, right. Yeah. I mean, ultimately a wedding is a wedding breaking tradition aside, you know, they're, they're pretty standard sometimes for the most part. Um, so it's a lot of the same like, okay, are you gonna do first look or are you not gonna do first look. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. Right. So I feel like I already kind of know the answer to this, but mm-hmm. Do you support Leave No Trace? Yeah. And how, how do you usually recommend couples to easily incorporate that into their, like, small wedding or alone day? Yeah. Um, I, I mean, I obviously definitely support it. The best way I've seen it done is something like, uh, going on a hiking trail to like a specific location to elope or something like that. Um, and I tend to just say lean towards whatever the hikers are doing. Um, If you're, if you're getting going to elope somewhere on a mountaintop or at the Badlands or something like that, you more than likely are doing that because it's a place you love and it's cuz you enjoy hiking and you enjoy camping and all that stuff. So most of the time when I meet those couples, they already have a lot of that knowledge on, on how to do it. Um, but you know, it's a lot of what comes in with you goes out with you Don't leave trash behind. Especially being from the Pacific Northwest for a long time. Just don't light any fires. Just no fires, no campfires, no e-cigarettes. Just don't, just don't do it. Mm-hmm. No gender reveal parties that literally set off one of the wildfires a couple years ago. Oh my gosh. That was terrible. Yeah. Um, and then just like standard practice for when I go hiking, um, is I always carry trash bags in my. In my backpack. So anytime I see someone else's trash, I just take it with me. Um, and then just not bring a much of stuff like mm-hmm. You don't need to bring an entire picnic basket up there. Like go have dinner at a restaurant somewhere else after. You don't need to like, bring a big arch. You're in nature. Nature is your arch. Yes. Redoing yes. And also you have to carry it. So that would suck. Exactly. I think that kind of eliminates a lot of what you'd typically leave behind at a wedding, just cuz you're gonna carry it up the mountain if you wanna have it. Ooh, that's an interesting question to ask your traditional wedding couples, if you can't carry it. Who you're wanting and like, do you really need it? You really need it. Do you need that extra fluffy couch behind you? Only if it's going in your living room afterwards. Yeah. So true. Yeah. That's great. The harder leave no trace is when you get into like destination elopement, like what I did in Costa Rica. Um, and a lot of what we did with that was lean on the people that were there, lean on the locals to kind of know what exactly they should do. I had a wedding planner through the resort that we got married at. Um, and they basically are like, here's your options. Like here's our, here's our one florist, here's our one photographer. Um, and I, I know a lot of people get frustrated with that just because, especially in the states, you're used to options used to just like pick and choose your photographer's vibe and your florist and get a mockup bouquet and all that jazz. And it's like, well, you don't have those options. And. Important to understand that like, these are their locals, this is their team, they're gonna know what's best. And to really, I mean, this kind of goes in general for weddings, but really try to trust your vendors and trust the people that you're working with, um, because they're ultimately gonna give you the best experience. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of that was like, we didn't do, you know, any non-indigenous flowers to Costa Rica? Um, we got married on the beach, but it was a public beach, so, you know, people are walking by and you just, you're just okay with it. At one point we got a photo with a very drunk Italian man, um, who was very sweet and, and did give us a hundred dollars. He walked by and he's like this tiny little speedo. He was very sweet. I mean, hey, I would do that too if I got hundred dollars. Well, in Costa Rica is very, it's very, very community based. Like weddings are a pretty big thing. So like, you know, some locals just like joined in the dance party and it's like that. That's just, that's how it is. So you have to like make sure you understand like local customs and local cultures. And I know a lot of people all in Hawaii and there's a lot of questionable things that. That are made as far as choices in Hawaii. Um, so I think really being able to reach out to somebody local and if, if, if Hawaii's like, you must do it. I'm sure they wouldn't mind the tourist funds, but also like, make sure you're. Working with people that are gonna point you in the right direction and not necessarily just like, give all your monies to a Sandals resort. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Being intentional. I think it's a, that's a common theme. It is. Yeah. I think that's the, the big cutarching one is, is really intentionality. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And just touching on what you said earlier, um, About like vendors, you know, knowing best and stuff like that. I think that's just kind of also another huge piece of advice for, for this too, is making sure that you are picking vendors who like, you know, Are not just like saying yes to you because it like you happen to be open, but who are like emphatically like, yes, I stand with you, I support you. Mm-hmm. I believe in you and I have experience here. Like yeah. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of greenwashing and. Rainbow washing, for lack of better term, out there in the world. Yeah. Like interview people, like genuinely get on, you know, a call like this and actually talk to a person. Mm-hmm. Because, you know, emailing you can only get so much from how a person actually is and what, what they actually stand for. And I think a, a good positive thing I'm seeing is a lot of vendors on online are really being open about like, I, I, this is what I think about this particular subject, you know, not shying away from like hard political topics and things like that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. When you come, when you come to me, it's like, you know, you know, my values already for the most part. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. Super. Great. Well, my last question, I know, I know. Yeah. But I, I do think that is like a, a common thing now too, is. People being more open, um, hopefully for the better. So yeah, I was gonna say for better or worse, but at least, at least you know what you're getting yourself into before, before you jump in, right? Yep, exactly. Well, to kind of wrap this all up, um, you know, specific couples or scenarios aside, like mm-hmm. What would you say is your best cutall advice to any couple who might be planning right. Um, I think if y'all didn't catch it already from this conversation, but be intentional about your choices, really. Like, take the time to consider what the two of you actually really want. Um, and make compromises only where it makes sense to you. Hmm. I love that. I love that. That's going to be like, that's the line of the, that's my tagline. Yes. Okay. So with every guest I have on here, I always like to do just like a fun little lightning round. Not the, the things we haven't been talking about, haven't been fun, but, you know, um, just to help us end on a really fun note and help everyone get to know you. So, are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, great. What would be your absolute favorite way to spend a day? Lately, so I have a, a sunroom on my, my house is 120 years old and I have this little sunroom, and when it is hot in the summer, I've been sitting out there doing a little hot yoga in the morning and making myself a little hot yoga studio and then having a coffee and then snuggling with my cats. Hmm. That's beautiful. Yeah. It's where do make the most out of the heat. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it gets hot in there. It like, it is a hot yoga studio naturally too, like yeah. Wow. We love it. Um, not too much in the winter. Oh yeah. Yeah, then it's a cold studio. Then it's more of an ice bath situation. Has health benefits too. You know? It does. Which, yeah. Speaking of, what do you miss most about Minnesota and what's your favorite thing about the Pacific Northwest? Now, the thing I think I've missed the most about Minnesota is the people, which I know is kind of like a sideline answer, but, The Minnesota nice is very real and you don't realize how real it is until you leave. Where like in Pacific Northwest, there's this thing called the Seattle Freeze where it's just like, you know, if you're walking down the street in Minnesota, like someone will say hi to you and you just like say hi back and you smile and it's like kind of a nice little interaction, not a thing. In the Pacific Northwest, everyone looks like 20 feet away from each other. You don't even look at each other. I, I definitely found it was like a little harder to make friends out there just to like kind of break through the ice a little bit. But yeah, I miss Minnesota people. Pacific Northwest is the landscape and the weather. Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's, it's nice to be able to like look out your window and see the ocean and also mountains at the same time. Yeah, that's pretty hard to compete with it. Yeah. And you know, it doesn't get below like 50 degrees. Oh, that's super nice. Although there was a bunch of snow there. Not a bunch. There was some snow there. Yeah. The last couple years there's been snow like every Christmas, but then it like goes away within a couple weeks. Okay. Yeah. So sounds like festival worlds. Yeah. Little bit. Yeah. Except there's so many. That. Mm-hmm. Like this whole city shuts down. Cause there's no way you can get up a hill or down a hill without big accidents happening. Yeah. Oh my God. I can't imagine. Ooh, one of my friends lives like basically in the mountains and she sent me a video of her and her son sledding down their driveway. Oh my gosh. There was so much ice. That's great. Yeah. Wow. All right. And what is your favorite color of the rainbow? If you had asked me a couple years ago, I would've said red, but lately I've been leaning really hard into green. Hmm. Kind of goes well with the whole nature. Yeah. Glacier kinda, yeah. Yeah. It might be because I missed the amount of green that's in the Pacific Northwest when it's little out here. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's terrible here right now, but soon. Soon it will be spring. Yes, exactly. Well, thank you Amber, so much for your time, for your knowledge, for your awesome tips. Um, we really appreciate you and if any of you are thinking about getting married out in. Either the Pacific Northwest or South Dakota. Uh, you can find Amber at Glacier Weddings and events on Instagram. So, yeah. Is there anything else you wanna say to the listeners before we sign out? Huh? No, this is a, this is great and you should do the, like you subscribe E Brady things, however we do that on, on the podcast. Yes, exactly what she said. Yes, yes. All right. Clearly beloved, we'll see you here next week.