11. The Scientific Reason Why You Should Elope

If you’re worried about the stress and pressure of planning a big, traditional wedding and want your special day to be more intimate and meaningful, elopement might be the perfect choice for you. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean sacrificing the day's romance, magic, and beauty. As a queer wedding and elopement photographer with over ten years in this industry, I’ve compiled a growing list of benefits of eloping, which may be particularly helpful for LGBTQ+ folks — romance, magic, and beauty included. Let’s explore these points in more detail, with an emphasis on nature elopements: 

The intro and all instrumentals were written, sung and recorded by @JaynaDavisMusic

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Transcript

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clearly, beloved, welcome to episode 11 of the podcast. My name is Anna. I run wildly connected photography and I shoot LGBTQ plus elopement, around the world. So it's crazy to me that I'm already past 10 episodes now, like this is episode 11. I, I just, I don't know, I. thank you so much for being here and continuing to listen and share your time and ideas with me and be willing to learn together and help me make the wedding world a better place. So, Let's just juhp right into it. If you've listened to any of the previous episodes, you'll know that over my 10 years of time in the wedding industry, I've seen a growing list of reasons to not only elope, but to also consider having a smaller wedding in general. and now recently, as I've done more work in the queer community and after coming up myself, I've seen a growing list of reasons of why eloping is actually a super great option within the queer community as well. So we're here to chat about that and I hope you'll enjoy. So have you ever been sitting at your desk or at work and you're feeling like a little stressed or maybe just run down and unmotivated, but then. you see a ray of sunshine come through the window or you hear some birds chirping and like all of a sudden you feel this little burst of serotonin. That is, that's for a reason. it's been proven time and time again that nature has a nuhber of really healing and stress reducing properties and. Yeah, like I'm not just saying that. Oh yeah. You step outside and like Yeah. People say it's good for you. Like it's actually proven and can't argue with the facts your people. So let's just dive right into the 10 reasons I have for you to add an elopement to your list of considerations. nuhber one, as studies show that people who spend around 120 minutes or about two hours in nature per week are more likely to report increased health benefits. And I mean, I'm not gonna bore you and sit here and like read the whole paper and abstract that I read, but just think about that. Like those 120 minutes could easily be spent. The first half of your e alone, you know, whether you're hiking. Like you're getting in all that goodness right there and you're like literally being healthy on your wedding day. So I think that's pretty cool. And the second reason goes hand in hand with that. It's something that I actually first started learning about when I was out in nature myself. I was actually somewhere in Tennessee, which actually is some really beautiful spots, to hike and explore, and I never knew that until recently. So go check it out. And I saw it on one of the trails I was on. That time spent in a forest can reduce blood. Boost your immune system, reduce stress levels and as abide product, decrease anxiety and depression, helps improve your concentration and creativity, and most importantly, listen up. I'd like to note that this sign said there's nothing and no way to enjoy, no wrong way to enjoy the forest or nature, but to simply enjoy being in. which I think is so true and like really important to acknowledge too, that being in nature on your elopement day doesn't mean that you have to camp for four days or like climb up a fourteener, which like, if you wanna do that, by all means do it. That's amazing. But it can also just be like walking on a simple trail or. you know, just spending time outside, like in the sunshine and listening to the sounds of nature or star gazing. Like, it doesn't, it doesn't, it can be whatever you want it to be, which I think is like a really important thing to note. and obviously that implies to all the aforementioned health benefits too, that even if you're in an urban setting, like going to your local park or something, like those benefits still apply, which is really cool. and yeah. So without being too scientific, I, I did a lot of reading. There's, there's a lot of studies out there that's both, in the past and ongoing to show that there's so many things that say, like, nature is not only beautiful, but it literally brings your stress down like your body, like it, it relaxes. And I just think that's such an interesting concept to bring into the wedding space because a lot of times, Like even when I say, oh, I'm like a wedding photographer, people will be like, oh, like you must have a stressful job. Or like, I don't know if I could do that because of the stress and, and then people associate things like bridezilla or stress with a word wedding. So I just think it's really interesting to note that there's a little bit of a distinction here, that being in nature actually helps calm you down. Like literally. it's not to say that like if you decide to elope, you're gonna encounter zero stress. Like, I'm not saying that, but the cool part is, is that when you do encounter stress, you're kind of like combating it. Counteracting it with being out in nature and, you know, having moments to like be chill and breathe in fresh air and all of that jazz. So, I just really wanted to point that out. I think that's super cool. the third thing is, is that nature not only allows you to feel more intimately connected with your person, but I think, I think that it also really allows you to connect super beautifully with Mother Earth and also with your chosen creator or higher power that you believe in, which is really beautiful. and obviously, I feel like that's not a new concept on a wedding day, right? Like a lot of times there's a lot of religious ties and ceremonies associated with weddings. I just think that like nature is such a different experience and something you can have inside of four walls. So, Yeah, you just, you can't like replace that. And again, like none of this is to downplay the people that really do wanna have traditional weddings like all the power to you. And that doesn't mean that your experience is less than. I just think that it's totally different to be in something that could have potentially been created by a higher power. And on the flip side, I could also say that, you know, if you don't believe in anything higher than being in nature and eloping and, and having a say in like you're officiant like, means you kind of get to like, skip and bypass some of that like traditional or like religious kind of language that some kind of, like, it sneaks its way into vows and ceremonies and certain things that happen. So I. I think it applies to all kinds of people. The fourth reason, is similar to, as I stated above, not to say that venues are bad, but like you can't really compare a handmade arch to like a mountain or trees that are like hundred. And thousands of feet tall and just ginormous. Like, you just can't, they're just not on the same playing field. and that's a backdrop you can't get anywhere else except for nature. so just something to consider there. the fifth reason is having more say in your day. And, I do wanna put like a little. Asterisk here. that eloping doesn't mean like you get to just do like whatever the heck you want. Like you still have to follow all, like park or land guidelines, have the appropriate permits. Follow, leave, no Tracee. That is all very important. But outside of that, if you do decide to do something in nature, you aren't like confined. a lot of the rules that venues might have and you know, a lot of them have like rules and policies for a good reason, but some of them just like might not apply to you. Like maybe you have to like rent a certain nuhber of chairs or some venues like require you to only. Work with certain vendors or like, you have to pick from a list of these caterers or these DJs or these people, and like, that's just very confining. uh, and may not really like speak to you. And so if you decide to elope, it's kind of like the world is your oyster. Like you're not confined by walls, you're not confined by lists or policies. That's why, of course, the ones I mentioned earlier, but I, I just think that's super cool and. Speaking of the chair rental rule, this route can sometimes save you money. And I, I really don't wanna play into the narrative that eloping means you're cheap or that you're running away or you have no money, or that elopement funders aren't doing as much work or aren't as much, they're not as valuable. Like, that is not it at all. I just like wanna point out that depending on how many people you invite and h who you have involved, you maybe will spend less money on like flowers, for example. because maybe you don't have a wedding party and so you would only need flowers for yourself and potentially your partner. or potentially to the park you, go to, maybe they don't allow flowers or certain kinds of flowers, and so maybe you just don't even have them for that part of your day. and again, obviously you don't have to like decorate an entire space, unless you're maybe spending some time at like an Airbnb later, in which case, you know, it's still probably gonna be a lot more minimal. So it's not to say that. you're not gonna spend any money or that, like, you shouldn't spend good money on, on the things that are really important to you. It's just gonna be different. uh, or, you know, maybe, maybe you decide like you're gonna do your own hair and makeup when you get to the top of your hike or whatever it looks like. it's, it's your day and you kind of really get to have a lot more say in how and where you allocate your money. and again, how like, don't have to, you know, pay like a minimuh for certain things with the venue or things like that. And finally, on this note, it's something that I've already touched on, in past episodes, but there. Such a connection I think, between the idea of eloping or a small wedding and the L G B LGBTQ most community because queer love is already quote unquote untraditional and so are elop. maybe less so now, but I think they're a match made in heaven for that reason. And if you're questioning if your vendors will accept you. you know, planning a traditional wedding. I do think that because of the nature of elopement, there's gonna be a lot less of that questioning when you're talking to vendors. I think, I think we're all pretty chill and we're all pretty open to things that are seen as quote unquote untraditional. So, and I, I also don't wanna say that just, you know, wedding vendors as a whole or that do traditional weddings, aren't accepting, it's just that sometimes there's a lot more overlap there with people that do big church weddings and stuff versus people that are elopement photographers aren't like drawn to those same kind of weddings and you know, might just think a little bit differently and that's great. So, Again, on that same note, nuhber eight is being a part of the queer community can sometimes mean that it comes with strained relationships, from family or friends, or just the community as a whole. So, as you've probably heard me say a handful of times now, I know that a lot of my family won't be at my wedding. And I never say that to be like, oh, it feels sad for me, but just to like point out that it is a reality. And so when I think about my wedding, there's like already a lot of stress associated with like, well, who am I gonna invite? And like, I don't even know about my extended family, like where they stand. And so I. the idea of being able to eliminate questionable guests right off the bat, because you're limited in how many people you can invite to a park or things like that. It just sounds very appealing to me. Yeah, I think it just automatically like alleviates the pressure of like, hmm, you know, should, should I invite my Aunt Joy, who like randomly texts me Bible verse about repenting. I'm like, I, I don't know. It's like, no like you're eloping. You can only invite like 10 people or whatever it might be. So like, you're not inviting on joy. I just think that. That's cool. You know, it takes a lot of the pressure off. Nuhber nine, I have heard that even though couples who elope, they do still say that the day flies by, you know, and that it's like so fun and you're doing so many things and whatever. in the same sense that like a traditional wedding couple would say, I think that I've heard overall that they feel. They remember more of it because they had so much of a hand in how every piece of the day was structured and also very important here. On days like this, when you don't feel that you have to keep like your 300 guests entertained, you know, like you gotta stick to the schedule because you know they've gotta have cocktail hours and they have to have appetizers. Otherwise, people are gonna be hungry and upset and we have to start at this time because otherwise people will get bored and they'll leave. Like all of that is gone. So you can build so much more time into your schedule to like relax, take a break, sit down, drink some water, have a snack. Like there's just so much less expectation there for you to keep people entertained. And finally, such a fun one. The 10th reason I'm gonna say that you should consider eloping is because you literally have like a built-in trip or visit to an awesome place, which could also be like a built-in honeymoon depending on how you wanna do it. I think the great part about getting married somewhere beautiful is that you can just like automatically extend your. And enjoy your time. Do what you want. Like even if you're getting married in your same state or you're only going somewhere that's like an hour or two away, it still counts as a fun trip because you probably picked somewhere that's beautiful and has things to do and visit and see. and like your bags are already packed, right? So you might as well extend your trip or, it sets you. to be in a good spot to like then go fly somewhere else. so I don't know. I think having like a built-in honeymoon or also having like a built-in super cool spot to like go visit for your anniversary is pretty great if you ask me And actually finally the bonus tip I'm gonna leave you here is that if you elope, you can hire me. That's a pretty great benefit of eloping if you ask me Just kidding. But seriously though, fill out my contact form. All right, so I'm just gonna do a really quick recap here of those 10 reasons. the first one being time in nature promotes good health. Nuhber two, time and nature reduces stress. Nuhber three, nature enhances your connection with your partner and your potential higher. Nuhber four, the The views are pretty hard to beat. Nuhber five, eloping means having so much more say in your day and how things are run and who you involve. Nuhber six, the potential to save more money or at least have more say and control in where your money goes. Nuhber seven, you find really accepting vendors in the elopement space and there's a lot more. you know, questioning if these people are going to accept you. Nuhber eight, you can invite or not invite anyone you want. Just a reminder that inviting guests is a privilege and not a right for them. And nuhber nine, you can structure your day, however the freak you want, and there's no pressure of like entertaining all these guests or doing things on like an exact certain timeline. And finally, nuhber 10, you get a, like a built-in super fun trip or honeymoon or anniversary spot. So, Those are the 10 reasons clearly. Beloved, thank you so much for listening to this episode. I hope that maybe inspired you to consider it for yourself, or maybe you were like, Hmm, I'm thinking of this friend, that this would be really great for. You can share it with them. And speaking of sharing, the reviews that y'all have been leaving me have been so helpful. So if you have 30 seconds. Please just leave like a quick five star review if you've been finding this helpful at all. it helps the podcast reach people that it might not normally. The more that you review it, so please go do that. Thank you so much in advance. I hope that you all are having an amazing day or evening whenever you're listening, and I will see you here next week.