Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian

Two Women's Journey Through Faith and Aging with Laura Acuna

May 13, 2024 Ruth Hovsepian/Laura Acuna Season 2 Episode 71
Two Women's Journey Through Faith and Aging with Laura Acuna
Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian
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Out of the Darkness with Ruth Hovsepian
Two Women's Journey Through Faith and Aging with Laura Acuna
May 13, 2024 Season 2 Episode 71
Ruth Hovsepian/Laura Acuna

Join us in this deeply inspiring episode where two women, at the prime ages of 58 and 65, share their journey through faith and the art of aging gracefully. "Two Women's Journey Through Faith and Aging" is a heartfelt conversation that challenges societal norms around youth and beauty, advocating for self-acceptance and the celebration of life's earned years. Ruth and Laura Acuna dive into personal transitions, such as embracing natural hair color and the mixed reactions it can provoke, and reflect on the critical role elder women have in mentoring the younger generation. They confront ageism in the church and discuss the importance of intergenerational unity, adaptation, and the continual pursuit of learning. This episode is a call to embrace every silver strand as a crown of honor and to live out one's faith authentically. Whether you're navigating the silver years yourself or seeking wisdom from those who do, this conversation is an invitation to join the journey of grace, wisdom, and the celebration of life.

Personal | www.Laura-Acuna.com
Instagram | Lauraacuna56
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/LauraAcunaChristianspeaker
Podcast | https://stillbecoming.podbean.com/


SOCIALS
✔Website - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/
✔Podcast - https://outofthedarknesswithruthhovsepian.buzzsprout.com/
✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthhovsepian/
✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ModernDayRuthRedeemed/
✔LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthhovsepian/
✔Speaking - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/speaking
✔Books - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/booksruthhovsepian

BUSINESS EMAIL
info@ruthhovsepian.com

MUSIC
hot music - winning-elevation

Show Notes Transcript

Join us in this deeply inspiring episode where two women, at the prime ages of 58 and 65, share their journey through faith and the art of aging gracefully. "Two Women's Journey Through Faith and Aging" is a heartfelt conversation that challenges societal norms around youth and beauty, advocating for self-acceptance and the celebration of life's earned years. Ruth and Laura Acuna dive into personal transitions, such as embracing natural hair color and the mixed reactions it can provoke, and reflect on the critical role elder women have in mentoring the younger generation. They confront ageism in the church and discuss the importance of intergenerational unity, adaptation, and the continual pursuit of learning. This episode is a call to embrace every silver strand as a crown of honor and to live out one's faith authentically. Whether you're navigating the silver years yourself or seeking wisdom from those who do, this conversation is an invitation to join the journey of grace, wisdom, and the celebration of life.

Personal | www.Laura-Acuna.com
Instagram | Lauraacuna56
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/LauraAcunaChristianspeaker
Podcast | https://stillbecoming.podbean.com/


SOCIALS
✔Website - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/
✔Podcast - https://outofthedarknesswithruthhovsepian.buzzsprout.com/
✔Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthhovsepian/
✔Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ModernDayRuthRedeemed/
✔LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruthhovsepian/
✔Speaking - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/speaking
✔Books - https://www.ruthhovsepian.com/booksruthhovsepian

BUSINESS EMAIL
info@ruthhovsepian.com

MUSIC
hot music - winning-elevation

00:17 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Hey everyone, I'm Ruth Hovstapian and welcome to Out of the Darkness show. Do you have a negative attitude about aging? Our culture definitely has a negative view of a woman's aging body, but how can we, as Christians, resist falling for this toxic and impossible standard? Welcome back, laura. 

00:39 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to talk about this today. 

00:42 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
You know, for so long there has been social pressure on women to aspire to have a youthful appearance, claiming that beauty is to beauty to be one dimensional and superficial. And I believe personally this is where I've come to at the age of 58, almost 59, that I want to look good for my age and I'm not trying to look younger. I don't know how you feel about what we are seeing today in society. 

01:23 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Well, I'm 65. So I've got some years on you. I've been dealing with this subject for well. I lived in denial for a while and then, when I finally realized I was an older woman, I had to start facing the reality of the situation. And when I wrote my book Still Becoming, which was about body image and dieting and all that, I had one day in the devotional about aging. And it was remarkable how many times I went on a podcast and the host would say don't let me forget to get to the aging part, because that rang true with a lot of women. So it is a subject that I'm speaking on little by little now, and it's a big subject. It's important. I agree with you. I want to age well. I don't want to throw in the towel and give up, but at the same time I'm not willing to chase around an impossible something that I can't hang on to. I can't, it's coming, it's here. I agree. 

02:26 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
It's the inevitable right. I remember at one time always being the youngest when I started working, and I was the youngest, I was the baby of the. You know the office. Now you know I'm always at the other end of the spectrum, but you know, I also remember. You know, I look back at my grand, my grandparents, let's talk about the, my grandmothers, for example, there was approximately a 50 age year gap between me and my grandmothers and I look at pictures. I look at pictures of my grandmothers at 58. And they look so much older than we do Now. I don't know if it was fashion, if it was our mentality, cultural mentality, that at a certain age we cut our hair, we go shorter or we put our hair in a bun, we dress in a certain way. So I don't know what it is that has changed, but I think we've gone to the other, total other. 

03:28 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
I agree. I just looked at a photograph of my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary, and I've been married almost 41 years, and so they could not possibly have been much older than. 

03:40 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I am right now. 

03:41 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
And yet my grandmother looked very elderly and she had she was. I mean she had a hard time walking because of really bad arthritis and so on. So I'm with you. I don't know if some of it is that we're just more active now. You know, we just keep going. Whether the hard work that they had to put into their lives just to make a dinner, I mean they didn't have the conveniences we have that you know they just wore themselves out earlier, I don't know. But I don't think there was the societal, you know obvious push to be 80. And I mean, I mean Martha Stewart just did the swimsuit episode at 80. And they, you know, that's like really. 

04:26 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I mean really, you know there are so many different opinions about this and you know, I know very, you know, close to me, people that won't give their age. They think, you know, and I remember when we were young and they would not give their age and she would say, oh, I don't want people to know my age because then they'll look at me differently. And you know, I I've never had, personally, never had an issue and I have to be honest about it, I've never had an issue about aging. If anything, I've always looked forward to the next decade. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I was never satisfied with my life at that point and I thought getting older would make it easier. But I've always been comfortable in my skin. 

05:12
But I have been called vain because I, you know, I I used to color my hair. I've colored my. I was coloring my hair since, oh gosh, I must have been 20 years old and I had grays not as I do now, but I had gray and I started to color my hair and I've been every color known to man. You know 2017, when there was a major shift in my journey to good health and it was part of my recovery from addiction, so I've been sober for nine years. 

05:56
So, and, yes, only by the grace of God and through his love. And I don't know if it was intentional, but you know, at that point I was having physical issues and I lost a considerable amount of weight and part of that journey was letting go of coloring my hair. And there were, there was a mixed bag of emotions from other people, from others. I was so surprised. You know, there was the side of the aisle that was oh Ruth, you're gonna look so old, why would you want to do that? Don't do that. And then the other side of it, which was oh well, you know, it's about time you're, you're getting old, you know, need to accept it. 

06:46
And I didn't agree with either one. I'm not. I'm not going to go be the, you know, poster child of you know to say you need to stop coloring your hair. Nor am I going to be the poster child to say you have to color your hair. This was my choice and, truthfully, I've loved it. It was what I needed, what my soul needed to accept myself. And now I love it. 

07:12
So these are decisions we do us and I think we need to. I think we need to accept ourselves and that's what I liked about your book. You know, I think we need to accept ourselves and that's what I liked about your book. You know that whole, you know this, the body image, and I think part of it is accepting who we are at the age that we are at. 

07:34 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Totally agree and we have to fight it. I've been told, I was told when I was releasing my book by a well-meaning person in the she wasn't my publisher, but she was an advisor and she said don't, don't tell your age. When you're on these podcast interviews, do not tell your age. And I completely disagree with that, because such a huge part of my personal story is the work God has done in my life after 50. I mean, it has been nothing short of miraculous. If you knew the before and the after, it's miraculous. I'm celebrating that at 65, he is still growing me and that he still allows me to serve him. But I have had that advice. I've also had the advice not to put my face on advertising, because nobody really wants to listen to an older woman and you don't want people to know how old you are. 

08:26 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
well, first of all, thanks a lot yeah, I got that too, actually that I I shouldn't talk about my age because I'm very. I always throw it out there, I don't really care me and and I've been told, don't talk about age, you look younger than you do or whatever, and don't let people and I'm like I want to get past that with people- Well, and if we don't do it, if we just don't keep showing up as we are, then it perpetuates. 

09:08 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
It's I'm. I've fought too hard to be released from shame to now that I've gotten the body image and food thing kind of under control with the Lord that then now I'm going to start worrying about what I look like age wise. I'm just not going to do that Now. I want to look my best and I take good care of myself and um and all. But I don't want that to be the thing that the enemy uses to keep me from my calling and to keep me from being present with people, keep me from what God's calling me to do. I'm not going to let that happen, but it's out there and there's so much pressure I mean there's so much pressure there there is. 

09:44 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
You know, social media has not helped Growing up. There was enough pressure. I was, I was. I'm tall, I'm five, nine and I was always, always larger. You know people would laugh and say I look like a quarterback. And you know, I'm just I'm, I'm a presence and I've been told that and I've actually adopted that and it is. I am who I am. But I remember, uh, back, you know, I, I was, I'm the child of the 60s and 70s. We had no social media, we had no. 

10:18
Even then I felt the pressure of what I should look like, just, and it was my doing and the doing of others, you know, sort of stating you shouldn't eat, you should lose weight, that's, you know, like the body image, part of it. And as I got older and as my weight has fluctuated back and forth, you know putting on weight, losing weight, which is normal, which is normal, and you know it is who we are. And again, I'm a proponent for healthy living. I take care of my health now like I've never done before. I'm very conscious of it Because it's not just looking young, as we said, it's, it's the health aspect of it. I want to serve the Lord. I started late in life. I want to serve the Lord. I want to be able to, in my 70s, be able to walk on my own, get to places and minister for the Lord. Amen, if I don't take care of myself now. 

11:23
How do I do that then? And it has nothing to. Yes, you know I like to get dressed up. You know I like to look good, but it has nothing to do with looking young. I think that's what we need to to help women understand that there is nothing wrong with self-care if it's not what you are consumed with, just like we shouldn't be consumed with anything other than the Lord Right? 

11:54
And so, yeah, I I find it sad that we we have the two extremes where women are told you can't, you shouldn't, this is not what the Lord wants from you, and then the other side, where we've gone to this extreme of chasing youth. You know our younger self, which who wants to go back? Do you want to go back? 

12:21 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
No, not at all. I like where I am now and I love what God is doing in my life now and I know, you know, I'm a grandmother now that came comes with a whole bunch of stuff. The great, I mean again, the greatest joy other than having my own children is having a granddaughter. I just can't even describe it. It's the most wonderful thing in the world. I'm not about to let you know, being afraid of aging keep me from enjoying my granddaughter. You know children will remind you how old you are. They think you're ancient. 

12:56 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I thought it was just my kid, it was just my kids that did that to me. 

12:59 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
But I've seen I mean, I've known women women I love dearly who don't want to become grandmothers, because of what that means. But the truth is the years are marching on anyway, and why would you not want the joy that comes from a long life? I also know plenty of people who never, never, live long enough to see their grandchildren, and I'm so, so grateful for that. There are so many fears that come with aging. I did a survey before I started writing about this and it was really-opening how fearful women are about aging and their bodies really are. That's one of them I mean, clearly one of them. It's probably the biggest. But they're afraid of losing their health, they're afraid of being alone, they're afraid of all the losses that come with aging, which they do. That's a reality of where we are. They're fearful of the culture, because this is crazy and they don't know what to do about it. And they're also fearful of being irrelevant, and the irrelevance part can tie into how we look. 

14:10
If I look younger, people will think I'm relevant. If I look old, people will dismiss me and they won't let me use my voice anymore. And in some ways there's a real, true root to that. Ageism is real, but we do a great disservice when we do not show up as our true selves. It's so damaging as one who lived that way for a very long time. It's very, very damaging, and God has designed us obviously to be our true selves. That's who he created to pour into this world. And if we're pretending to be someone else or stifling who we are, we're missing it. And as an older woman, I can tell you right now, at 65, when I'm sitting in a small group of girls at Bible study, my main role in that group is to encourage and to point out the faithfulness of God over the long haul, because they don't have that yet. 

15:08 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
They don't have it. I really like what you said, that you know it's fear that is the driving force behind this and, you know, if we look at it through the lens of a Christian, you and I are women of faith. We have ministries and we're out there. You know sharing and teaching. 

15:33
And why are we fearful of it when we know who is on our side and who is there for us and who has made us the way we are? And I look back at my grandmother's pictures and there is a sweetness about it and I say that children are cute, so that we look after them and help them along until they are able to take care of themselves. And then they become rugrats and they become a force to be reckoned with. And you know, they become, you know, a force to be reckoned with. But then the cycle of life takes over and we get to an age where we become softer and cuter and sweet looking. 

16:20
And why? Because as we get older, you know, when you hit your 80s and your 90s, you need a bit more care. Most people do. 80s and your 90s, you need a bit more care. Most people do. And I think that the Lord has made us physically in such in a perfect way, right, because when you're 80 and 90, people want to open the door for you, help you and want to look after you. We need to embrace that. We need to embrace, first of all, what God has given us, and I also agree with you in the sense where he has given us, through the years, wisdom, experiences to help other women through those you know difficulties that they go through, the angst that they have in their 20s and 30s and 40s, and you know 50s. 

17:19 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Give me a calm older woman in my life and I'm good A godly, calm older woman. When I was younger I'd get all jacked up about things and the older ladies in the church different ones that were mature, there were immature older women too, but the mature ones, they would just say a few words to me and I would be like, okay. 

17:37
I'm good, I'm believing it because you told me so, because you've lived longer than me and I'm going to make it. You know I'm going to make it. Whatever it was I was going through. I want to be that kind of woman to the younger women coming up behind me, and the only way I can be that woman I can't pretend to be that woman I have to be that woman and the only way I can be is to be my true self and to be authentic and to testify to the goodness of God over the long haul that he is faithful, that you can trust him, and we should be aspiring to be that wise woman that the lord can use and not be the frivolous, you know, older woman who loses out on the chances to leave an impression on the younger generation. 

18:29 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And it doesn't matter if you have your own children or not. There's wisdom in age. You know, we've got the life experience and I don't know if I understood that when I was, you know, a teenager and in my 20s, but closing in on 60, quickly, 20s, but closing in on 60 quickly. 

18:51 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
You know, I have a quick story about that if you don't mind. Sure, I remember when I was a young woman in the church, I was on some leadership team and there was an older woman who took care of the altar and I was in the Lutheran church, that's what I grew up in Lutheran church, so the altar was important and she took care of the altar and I was in the Lutheran church, that's what I grew up. I grew up in Lutheran church, so the altar was important and she took care of the altar and we had a meeting one time at my home with their couples, and I don't even know what the subject was, but she really was emphasizing how important the altar was and the linens and what they represented, and she was going on this whole thing and I want to tell you I was probably 35 years old In my head. I was rolling my eyes. I was rolling my eyes at that older sister because I thought are you kidding? What are you saying to me? The linen, really. We're here talking about winning souls for Jesus. You know? I mean, this is where my head was. Well, now, fast forward. I'm as old as she was then and we don't have linens in my church. 

19:55
I go to a non-denominational church now but what concerns me is the holiness and the sacredness of church. I don't want to lose that, that it isn't all fun and games, it isn't all a show, it isn't all performance, no-transcript. And I shared it with one of the young executive leaders at my church and I said you know, I never want to be that older woman. That's like complaining, I don't ever want to do that. But I want to say to you I rolled my eyes at that woman years ago, but what she was saying, it wasn't about the white lace cloths on the altar. She was communicating with us that we were losing the sacredness of the space and that it was important. 

20:43
And again, you know, we want to be women of faith who see the big picture, because we've lived a long time, and be able to say, oh, this is great. I love the band, you know, I love the smoke machine, whatever you know. But let's not forget that God is holy, he's not just our best friend. You know I love the smoke machine, whatever you know, but let's not forget that God is holy, he's not just our best friend. You know, there's another part to this. So we give the you know and we know this over the long haul again, because we've seen it and we've experienced it in our church cultures and in the different churches and all the things that are happening. 

21:24 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
we need to be awake and our eyes need to be open to what is really what the Lord wants us. 

21:33
How does the Lord want us to be and behave and act? You know, in church, outside of church, when we're communicating with other people, the frivolity of what we have started to see and the you know, the feelings of the worldly influence in our churches is great, and it comes even for ageism. Right, the world is dictating ageism and how it is being treated in our churches. You know, one of the areas is women, as they get older, because we're talking about, you know, women and aging today. They get older because we're talking about, you know, women and aging today. But even with, you know, the men aging in our churches, I've seen a shift in many churches where older leaders or those that have been in the church for a while are sort of like you know, okay, now you've done your thing, you can, you can sit back and you know, just enjoy. But I don't see it anywhere in the Bible where it says at 65, you retire, you retire from service and servitude. 

22:52 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Oh no, there's no expiration date on your calling Exactly. 

22:56 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I think we should be encouraging it and and instead know relegating those you know as we get older to the back. And I'm not saying not to give opportunities to the young. By all means train them and and let them lose, because that's the next generation, but we shouldn't lose those that you know have the biblical knowledge and the experience and the desire to serve God. 

23:31 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
And exactly. And I think, as older people, we have to be really careful how we express ourselves in the church, because typically in the church, because typically unfortunately, the stereotype is the music's too loud, it's too dark, you don't care about old people. 

23:51 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
You know? I've heard it, I've heard it over and over again. 

23:53 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
I've heard it when I was young and I'm hearing it now and yeah, and that doesn't help anybody. I mean, that might be true, it might be too loud and it might be too dark, and you want to mark up your Bible and you can't. You know, there, maybe they've taken the Bibles out of your church because everyone has it on their phone, but it's not on your phone. 

24:09
Right, or the hymn books Right, all of it. But we have to be careful, because we want to be heard, we don't want to shut down the conversation. So I'm I'm constantly, you know, uh, when we have conversations with my peers, my age group and older, careful. You want to be seasoned with grace when you speak, because you know, when I was young, choirs were going out of the denominations and bands were coming in and you know people were really upset but we were very excited. So we want to remember what it was like to be young in the church but also be effective. The point isn't to be right, the point is to be effective, and so we want to watch how we talk about it, giving lots of support and grace as we, as we, and then only saying something when we need to. 

24:56 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I like that. It's not that we have to be right, it's just that we yeah, you know, I think that that's what it is. We need to be, first of all, open to each the opinion of others. Again, I always preface that by saying, biblically, you know, honoring God, and then the rest comes in. I never want anyone to think that it's you know, it's a clear cut, it's this way or no way. If it's scripturally based, then it's right. It's just how we're getting to. 

25:34
You know, worship has changed. The way we dress has changed. You know, the way my mother dressed or the way I dressed in my early years to the way I dressed to go to church has changed. You know, the way my mother dressed or the way I dressed in my early years to the way I dress to go to church has changed. Is that a right or wrong? I don't know, I'm not the one to say it. I know how I was raised. I was raised in a very conservative, in, you know, a church environment. I was raised in a conservative home as well. So the way I go to church is a lot different than when you know, like 30 years ago. And that's because I too have you know, with with my studying and and speaking with other women, I've come to realize that when we become stuck in those legalistic areas, we lose our credibility as witnesses for the Lord. 

26:29
I never want to be the one to be a stumbling block because of my dress, the way I dress, and I don't want to be a stumbling block on the other side of the flip side of the coin, where I become very legalistic about my beliefs and my and you know, this is how we have to do it. We've always done it this way. Or, if you don't do it this way, you're not. I think that we need, if we're doing it in the spirit of the Lord, if we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we can be humble and be Christ-like in the way that we lead. 

27:15 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
That's how I see it now, absolutely, absolutely, and be willing to learn. We don't have to compromise biblical truth. But I have learned so much just by listening to my adult children, and you know I have three sons, so the way you do that is you take them out to eat, you know, and then they'll talk to you about anything. So, but I've learned so much about their viewpoint, their thought process, what they're struggling with in this generation. It's very easy for me to say, oh, everybody's going to own a house. We did. 

27:46
Well, it isn't so easy to own a house where I live right now and it's not the same world that it was 40 years ago when we bought our home. 

27:53
It's very easy for us to say, well, it's, you know, just be fine, everything's, and just blow it off, instead of really listening to the concerns that they have about the world they live in. So I've been really blessed by that and come to an understanding that even if one of my children and I disagree on some key, fundamental things, I can see the heart behind it and how he got there and we can have a lovely conversation. But if I dig my heels in and I try to hold on to 1985 or something, it's completely ineffective. It's completely ineffective. And that goes for the people we go to church with and the younger women. I hear older women all the time say in Bible study well, I'm sure glad I didn't raise my kids with an iPhone, we wouldn't, you know. Well, okay, yeah, we think that we do, we're glad, but that doesn't help her any. Yeah, she's living in the social media world right now, completely different. 

28:48 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
And I think that when we need to learn and listen. 

28:50
Those of us ministering to women need to quiet some sometimes our personal takes on things and listen to what is happening in their life today, because I don't know what it's like to be a 20-something mother in 2024, raising children. And if I don't listen, yeah, over the women, young women of my church, and pray for them to be able to withstand the difficulties that come at them, you know what society and culture is dictating and unless, as older women who, first of all, you know, going back to what we've talked about aging if I don't accept who I am and don't use what the Lord has given to me to listen to these young women, how can I say that I'm serving them and how can I have a message for them, unless I know what they're, what they're struggling with on a daily basis? 

30:11 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Exactly, and we don't have to have all the answers. We just have to have a listening ear and an encouraging word and God will guide us to that. I mean, wisdom comes from God, it doesn't come from being old. I remember hearing Beth Moore say there's an old saying there ain't no fool like an old fool for a reason, because there are old fools. And she said we don't want to be an old fool. I was like I don't want to be an old fool. 

30:38
I want to be a wise woman. It's like I don't want to be an old fool, I want to be a wise woman. So wisdom is knowing when to be quiet and when to speak, and then also to be able to understand that the way we did it isn't always the best way. When I became a grandmother, you know, a lot of things changed since I had a baby and some of my acquaintances would say to me well, you know, my daughter-in-law says to put the baby on its side, but I put it on its back because that's what we always did and I said I'm following every rule my daughter-in-law gives me, because I got to believe medical science has come a long way since my first child. And, secondly, I want to be able to support her. I don't want to be her adversary, you know. 

31:25 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
I mean, why would I do that? Yeah, I. I've learned as well as my children have become, you know, adults, young adults that I need to sometimes not sometimes all the time stop and listen to them and hear them out and know what's on their heart before I speak. And I think the tendency, especially as mothers with our older children, is to want to help them with everything. And I'm learning the hard way and I think we need to keep learning. You know, it doesn't matter how old we are. I want, I never want to stop learning. I want to be a student of life for the rest of my life and and I think that that's what it is we need to stop and listen to what others have to say. 

32:16 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
And the normal response a lot of parents have when their children don't think like they do is I didn't raise you that way. 

32:22 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Yeah, that's horrible. I didn't raise you that way. 

32:25 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
And yet that is so counterproductive because there's something really strong on their heart and we're gonna we're gonna shut it right down, you know. So I agree with you, and they'll stop talking to us right. 

32:38 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
If we keep throwing that to them I know better because I'm older, you need to listen to me because I've been through that they will stop talking to us and I never want that to happen. I never do, I. I my prayer is every day. First of all, you know, as parents and mothers, we need to pray over our children and with age that is such a privilege to have to pray over our young ones. You know the young women in our church, the young women that we know, and what a privilege I think it's a privilege to be the age that we are and to be serving and to be praying over our families and our. You know the young women. What a privilege, why? 

33:23 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
take that away. Can I read you a quote Please? I want to read you a quote I pulled out for today. It's Elizabeth Elliott who's so wise. She says a grandmother's special calling is to pray and to be a fellow worker in the battle in which her children or grandchildren are engaged. Isn't that great in which your children or grandchildren are engaged? Isn't that great we're to be engaged as a fellow worker in the battle with our grandchildren and our children. That's true for mothers as well, by the way. 

33:51
But we don't know what to do. The culture is very foreign to how we were raised and they're dealing with stuff we never in our wildest imagination dreamed that they would be dealing with. The best thing we can do is pray for them and join them in the battle and say I'm here for you, you can tell me anything, I promise you I will not be too shocked. You know, come to me, come to me, and then we put on our best face and try not to be too shocked. But we don't want to. Jan Silvius once said we never want to be the kind of women who people can't come and tell hard truth to you know, oh, we can't tell mom that because she'll go to bed. 

34:32
You know, we want to be the women who can hear it and stand with these younger women and our fellow sisters and our older sisters in the battle, because because it is, it is a battle. 

34:44 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
It's a daily battle and but, but we we as women of faith have the greatest adversary, you know it. We just need to latch on to our, the Lord and savior, and go out there and proclaim what the message is for us and help us and be able to say, yeah, I'm, whatever age, and I'm, and I am where the Lord wants me to be today, and accept that. 

35:20 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
And you know, if we want to stay young, if that's something that we want, we want to stay young, relevant, we want to be able to use our voices. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to learn, to keep learning. That is, that's what the fountain of youth is found in learning Exactly and growing all the way until the end, never stopping Exactly and growing all the way until the end, never stopping. 

35:41 - Ruth Hovsepian (Host)
Well, it's been a pleasure, Laura, I'm so glad that you were able to come on and talk with me today about this. 

35:49 - Laura Acuna (Guest)
Thank you for having me. I loved our conversation, thank you.