The Surprising Reason You're Burned Out At Work, Even Though It's Your Dream Job! S4E38

 In this three-part series, I'm diving into a personal journey my husband and I embarked on, sailing our dreamboat only to realize it wasn't what we envisioned. This episode uncovers the signs that something wasn't right and how it relates to career struggles. If you've ever felt unfulfilled or off-track in your professional life, you're not alone. Join me as I share our experiences and offer valuable insights that might resonate with you.

Main Takeaways:

1. Recognizing Signs of Discontent:
   • Weight loss, anxiety, and trouble sleeping can be subtle signs that something deeper is amiss.
   • Don't overlook physical and emotional changes; they might be linked to dissatisfaction in your career.
2. The Importance of Sharing Feelings:
   • Open up to trusted friends, family, or colleagues about your career struggles.
   • The act of verbalizing your feelings can be a crucial first step towards finding solutions.
3. Creating an Exit Strategy:
   • Use journaling to clarify your emotions and thoughts regarding your career.
   • Develop an exit strategy with the help of a friend, spouse, or even a professional coach to guide you through the process.
4. Upcoming Episodes:
   • Stay tuned for the next episode, where I delve into the critical role of strengths in our journey. Discover how my husband's unutilized strengths played a significant role in his discontent and how recognizing and leveraging them became a game-changer.
   • In the final episode of the series, we'll tackle the fear of other people's opinions. Exploring the challenges of admitting when your dream career isn't what you thought and the courage it takes to pivot.

Remember, life is too short to stay in a place that doesn't fulfill you. Let's admit what's not working, fix it, and make a plan to love the life you live. If this resonates with you or someone you know, share the podcast – it might just be the nudge needed to redirect someone onto the right path.

Thanks for being part of this journey with me! Stay tuned for more insights and practical tips in the upcoming episodes.

Transcript

00:00.10
sherimiterco
Hi I'm so excited to be back on the discovering your calling podcast as you may know if you listen to the last 2 podcast episodes my husband and I set sail on our forty Two foot Hunter Sailboat last fall. We. Thought this was going to be a year -long dream come true excursion something that we had been planning and thinking about a dream it about for eight long years unfortunately just a few months into the journey. We realized it wasn't what we thought it would be and that that dream was quickly unraveling and my friend I want to share our experience and what's happening right now with you because I have. Feeling if you're listening to this podcast. You may be feeling the same emotions. My husband was about your career and maybe you have that dream career that you work so hard for and it's not what you thought. It was going to be so stay tuned listen in this is going to be a 3 part series as I break down what's happening right now how we're going about fixing it and some tips for you that might help you? um.

01:28.83
sherimiterco
Work through some emotions you're feeling about your career. So again, if you've listened to the last 2 episodes you know that we have been on this sailing excursion and as I shared in the intro you know a few months ago we realized that it wasn't what we had pictured in our head. It. It wasn't this dream that the image was there. You know what we thought it was going to be like I had this vision of you know aqua water sandy beaches time to waste I thought I was going to be writing a new blog making videos. Perhaps even writing that book I've been thinking about for the discover about discovering your calling but instead I got barges and crab pots and and logs to watch out for and no sailing and our days were filled with navigating and planning. And to be honest I loved that part of it I kind of thrived in this environment I'm very much a ah gypsy soul and I didn't mind that even though it didn't look like what I thought it would be I still my learner was on.

02:48.86
sherimiterco
Hi and I was just embracing it all. But what I realized was that my husband whose dream this really was he's the one that convinced me to do this? Um I could tell something was amiss something was going on and he. Wasn't enjoying the journey at all. He became Tom my husband became very anxious, um, his health started to suffer and he just wasn't the same person that I knew I saw another side of my husband that I have never seen and. 38 years um you know the things that were bothering him I was shocked that they were bothering him because this wasn't his normal mo. He's a professional firefighter after all, he's he's gone through challenges and dangerous situations but something. Just wasn't right for him and after spending a lot of time talking over what went wrong our feelings our thoughts our new plans you know I started to think about it and I realized that what we've been going through. And our dream not being all we thought it would be is what many people feel like and perhaps this is you right now in your career and I get that you know you spend so much time earning that degree getting that promotion and you think.

04:23.60
sherimiterco
You have it made you think you've arrived to only spend a year or 2 or maybe less or maybe a few more and something just doesn't feel right to you something feels amiss and maybe you can relate to what. Was manifesting in my husband how it was showing up and we're going to break down like in today I want to share how what were the symptoms but not the symptoms but what were the signs that something wasn't quite right and we needed to make a change. Um, and maybe you can relate to some of these signs and you know the the warning signals that something's amiss then the next episode is going to be the most important one. So don't miss this one. It's going to be why strengths matter because as Tom and. I started really talking through what was really happening and in the emotions he was feeling and why he was feeling that way we realized that he was not living in his strengths and and in fact, his strengths were actually like buried deep down and. Why it didn't work for him and how we can change some things for right now and what the future looks like but this was so so so huge. So huge for both of us to realize because strengths really do matter.

05:54.21
sherimiterco
And when you're not living in your strengths you can't have a fulfilling life. No matter what the situation is no matter if you are living your dream and then the last episode in this series I'm going to share is the fear of other people's opinions. Because 1 of the hardest things for us as we've realized that this dream of ours that people have been following. We have a Youtube video and all the things that we had to go and share this news with our friends our family and you know even strangers that have watched the video. Um, we haven't done that one yet. But you know let people know that yeah, it's not our dream anymore and we're not going to keep doing this anymore and it's so weird how we fear what other people think and I'm going to do a series or a episode on just. That for you because maybe that's what's keeping you stuck. It's that fear of telling somebody that I don't like this career anymore. I don't want to do this anymore? Um, so we'll talk about that in the last episode for the series. So but back to what were. Signs that something wasn't right? Um, for my husband and the first thing was he lost a lot of weight and it actually we we overlooked this one and that's the thing I think with a lot of these signs is you can overlook them and.

07:28.65
sherimiterco
Put them in a box of something else that this is what's happening. This is why this is happening and we even you know joked about him losing weight because I mean I Love my husband and I'm not to judge because believe me I have gained the weight he has lost. But um, you know we kept saying oh he's losing weight Because. He's not eating all the bad firehouse food anymore and we're not snacking all the time and we're just eating healthier and we put it into this box. But the bottom line was now we know he was losing weight because of stress and anxiety so has your weight fluctuated. Um. He was worried constantly and that's again, not his normal mo. He wasn't sleeping Well um, as he puts it. He was awake with worry all the time I noticed he was aggravated very easily. And my husband is not an angry man but there were signs of him and like little things I would say or do would just send him off and again that wasn't his normal personality I would say he was definitely slightly depressed and definitely in a funk and but. Was he just was not able to enjoy this dream of his and again, maybe you can relate? Maybe you are feeling some of these emotions in your career and you're wondering Why am I feeling this way. Why am I depressed Why am I not sleeping.

09:02.22
sherimiterco
Why am I you know why is my weight not where it should be. Why am I worried all the time. Why am I aggravated at my kids or yelling at my kids for little things and maybe it's not what you've been blaming. Maybe it's you need to take a deeper look at. Are you really satisfied. And fulfilled in your current career and I want to pause here and just really making a very important announcement that if you find yourself feeling very depressed and deeply in a funk then please please please seek professional help. It's you know. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. Go talk to a therapist that can really help work with you to get you out of that funk so please just do that but beyond that here are a few things that you know I recommend it to my husband and I recommend. To you if you're if you're finding yourself feeling like oh that's how I feel right now and my you know and maybe it is my career first thing is grabp a journal get your emotions, get your thoughts, get it out of your head and onto paper just the the act of writing things down. And there is something about pen to paper that just helps us kind of work through what we're really feeling um and and get it out there and the second thing I recommend is share your feelings with a trusted friend your spouse um somebody.

10:36.89
sherimiterco
That can help support you working through it Tom kept it a secret for weeks before finally letting me in now again I could see something wasn't quite right? but I didn't know what it was and it wasn't until he finally opened up to me to say I'm not having fun. I don't want to do this anymore that we could finally make a plan make an exit strategy get you know, come together to work together to figure it out. Um, so. Don't do this alone like I said if you need to go find a therapist but also who's that trusted friend or your spouse you know that you can work through the emotions but then more importantly, make a exit strategy to for us. It's. Okay, do we need to sell the boat where do we want to live what is that going to look like we're making the plan we don't know. It's not crystal clear yet. But we're moving in that direction. We know that's the direction we need to go in versus continuing this trip further and further away and getting him deeper into this black hole. Um. So you can start making a plan so journal share your feelings with somebody. Um, then maybe it's finding someone to help get you out of the funk. Maybe it's a coach you need. Maybe it's a career. Um.

12:06.37
sherimiterco
Somebody an hr. Maybe you just need to switch positions in your work. Yeah, where you work. Um, maybe there's just a little piece of what you're doing. That's not working. Maybe you're sometimes I hear this ah people are managers and they were better left as individual solo workers. Um, so who's that. Ah, person that can help you really design this plan. Um, luckily for Tom um, he may or may not agree to this but he has me he has a live in strengths coach and and more on that. Um, because we. Seriously, we're both amazed at how much his strengths or in his um situation the lack of them played in these emotions as we started to really look to see what was it that was. Causing all this angst for him we realized he was not playing to his strengths. In fact, his strengths were probably way down buried in the basement. Um, so.

13:18.80
sherimiterco
Yeah, we've been looking at all of that and how how can he play with the strengths today just to get through. You know each day and then moving into the future as well. So is there somebody that you can look to for support and making a great plan and strategy. Um, it may be your spouse or friend but it may be somebody else. It may be a coach. It may be an h r maybe just somebody else that can help you really devise a plan to get you out of the funk. Um, and the other thing too and this isn't really support but I but. Love for you to just reach out to me if you're listening to this right now and you're thinking oh my gosh Sherry you are describing how I'm feeling right now in my career and I didn't recognize like my husband. Maybe you don't recognize that all these signs are that neon sign that says. You need to make a change. You need a career change. Um, and maybe you don't know what that's going to look like but I would love for you to just drop me an email. It's shery at sherrymitercode.com send me a Facebook message and just say hey that's me. I can relate to what you just shared and you know I can be that heir I can let you heir to me, you know I may not have the right answers right now but I can be that person because sometimes again, it's just the act of.

14:52.21
sherimiterco
Vocalizing it out loud to that first person it opens up the lines of communication. So as I wrap this up I want to remind you to please don't miss the next 2 episodes especially the next one. Because we're going to dive into how strengths did play a part or the lack again. The lack of Tom using his strengths really did matter like it was as he I had Tom we last night we pulled back out his strengths report and he's reading. It's like. Oh my gosh I didn't realize how I wasn't living within my talents and strengths. Um so we're going to break that all down what that looked like and how we're creating that plan to get him out of the sponk. So I want you to remember that. Life is way too short. My friend to stay living and working and a place that's not fulfilling to you even if you thought it was your dream It's okay to step out and to say and admit. This isn't my dream anymore. Maybe it once was but it's not anymore and I need to make a change It's okay to do that and to admit that because life is too short for you to live in a place that you're not feeling fulfilled you were meant.

16:22.75
sherimiterco
Live in your calling, you're meant to enjoy your life Every second of it or well maybe not every second but you know what I mean you know most of it. Um, you're meant to you're called to enjoy this life. So let's fix. What's not working.

16:40.70
sherimiterco
Let's admit, what's not working and then fix what's not working and make a plan to get to that place where you can truly love the life you live thanks as always my friend for listening to this episode and if there's someone you know, maybe. Isn't you. But maybe you recognize in your your best friend or your spouse that they are showing these signs like Tom did can you share this podcast with them. It just might help get them redirected and on the right path.