Oversharing with the Overbys
Loverboy's Accidental Workout Routine
We're back after an unexpected hiatus last week, so we kick things off right away reflections on what we've been up to the last two weeks, our personal health journeys, and muse over the oddities of leap years and unexpected weather patterns. We recap Mother's Day and some successful gift giving, and some gifts from some friends leads to a discussion on Matt's "loverboy" email addresses and communications in his previous careers.
We get some good news from Greg's Reads of the week, and we double down on the word of the week to make up for the lost time. And as always, it's your voicemails and emails that really add to the episode. We talk about vacation spots, people we'd want to trade places with, and navigating the complexities of ADHD medication and personal relationships. Whether it's starting medication later in life, the challenges of breakups, or the balance of supporting loved ones without losing ourselves in the process; we have a handful of candid conversations that promises to leave you with a deeper understanding of mental health (at least our limited view on it), self-care, and communication in our relationships. So, join us for a chat that's as real as it gets, sprinkled with the light-hearted banter and a few laughs.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
We're back after an unexpected hiatus last week, so we kick things off right away reflections on what we've been up to the last two weeks, our personal health journeys, and muse over the oddities of leap years and unexpected weather patterns. We recap Mother's Day and some successful gift giving, and some gifts from some friends leads to a discussion on Matt's "loverboy" email addresses and communications in his previous careers.
We get some good news from Greg's Reads of the week, and we double down on the word of the week to make up for the lost time. And as always, it's your voicemails and emails that really add to the episode. We talk about vacation spots, people we'd want to trade places with, and navigating the complexities of ADHD medication and personal relationships. Whether it's starting medication later in life, the challenges of breakups, or the balance of supporting loved ones without losing ourselves in the process; we have a handful of candid conversations that promises to leave you with a deeper understanding of mental health (at least our limited view on it), self-care, and communication in our relationships. So, join us for a chat that's as real as it gets, sprinkled with the light-hearted banter and a few laughs.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:What's really weird about this?
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're going to say yet.
Speaker 1:It all happened at once. So for the last month or so Matt's been uploading the YouTube videos for you guys and then never publishing them.
Speaker 2:So there's kind of two parts to putting a video. There's uploading and that goes up there. You put all the information in and then there's publishing. Uh, and I wasn't publishing.
Speaker 1:That's not important, right? Well, we didn't know it was happening because we'd not been double checking. You were just. I don't understand how you didn't catch it the first week. When, anyway, matt did this. His new process was upload, don't publish, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for a couple of weeks in a row.
Speaker 1:Four weeks in a row.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of weeks.
Speaker 1:Nobody said anything until the fourth week. But then on the fourth week I got like I don't know 10 or 12 dms uh-huh people were like um, so is this never coming? Back stop referencing youtube because you don't publish it well, I think that that's what happened is we opened the podcast, the last podcast episode, by talking about my dad, because my dad was with us and so people were like, wait, they think we're able to watch this, they 100% think. And you know what?
Speaker 2:Why are they gaslighting us every week about being able to watch this on YouTube? Yeah, I feel that way in my real life a lot. You know Explain more.
Speaker 1:I don't need to.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's okay, it's unfortunate. Anyway, it's not good podcasting at all.
Speaker 1:We weren't here last week. Oh yeah, we don't have an excuse.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought we were going to blame our editor.
Speaker 1:Oh no, we could never blame Becca a day in our lives.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah.
Speaker 1:Literally perfect.
Speaker 2:The only functional member of this podcast, she the only functional member of this podcast.
Speaker 1:She just wasn't available last week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, on short notice, which is our only notice.
Speaker 1:Right and we could have anyway.
Speaker 2:Well, we could have done it ourselves, but God forbid.
Speaker 1:It wasn't happening.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It wasn't happening, so I don't know why. Oh, I remember why now, like why I was so worn out.
Speaker 2:I was in a wedding, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yep, I was in a wedding and I had a fantastic time.
Speaker 2:That feels like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 1:It really does. It was only like 10 days ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And not even and I am worn out I was in a wedding and then the day after that we had stuff going on, but I don't remember what. Oh, you had family in town.
Speaker 2:That's right. I was in a wedding and then Matt's family was in town, which was lovely, and since you were in the wedding, you were doing the before activities for the wedding too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, posted a shower. I was getting ready for the bridal brunch on Thursday, then bridal brunch Friday morning, and then the rehearsal dinner, then wedding day all day Saturday, and then your family was in town on Sunday and then by Monday I felt lucky that my eyes were open.
Speaker 2:They weren't open a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then I started the period from hell. I forgot that's right, see, there are things this is adding up, guys, it was so bad, it was really bad.
Speaker 2:I thought you were about to just launch into details. No, no, it was really I was like that's what this podcast is.
Speaker 1:No, no one needs details, but it was really really bad.
Speaker 2:No yeah. And Matt held down the fort, but not that well. It didn't blow away, but that's about it.
Speaker 1:No, I just meant like we didn't get the podcast recorded. Oh yeah, Like you held it down so well that we but you held it down well beyond that regard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you held it down well beyond that regard. Yeah, yeah, I could have tried to solo record. What an event that would be. Yeah, dm us and edit it myself, I guess, let us know if you'd like to see Matt do a solo episode.
Speaker 1:I keep saying we're going to share to our Instagram and I've not been very good. It's kind of like our YouTube. Is it? I'm just kidding. I think I just have way too many things on my plate, yeah, and I keep trying to pass them off to Matt and Matt keeps going hot, hot, you keep it.
Speaker 2:Dodge. Swerve yeah, Anyway not so much, not super intentionally, but right. You know, okay. Awkward boss.
Speaker 1:I was waiting for you to give us more.
Speaker 2:No, I don't have any more.
Speaker 1:I know what I want to talk about. I will also be making a TikTok about this today. Okay, so in that case you may have already heard this story. So sorry if you saw this on TikTok already, but I want to talk about Matt's hat.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Because Matt was gifted this beautiful hat from Husband PSA. We love Isaac and Allie. We think they're phenomenal and we're mutuals with them online and just think they're awesome people. But they sent us their lover boy and lover girl hats and their new mom's drink margs I keep wanting to say mimosas, because we have the ones that say dads drink mimosas which are also really cool To be fair, dads also drink margs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do. But anyway, Matt got this hat and I told him that it's perfect, because if you don't know both of Matt's corporate positions that he was in for how long were you in your first one? Four years, yeah four years. And then you were in your second one, four years.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So Matt has been assigned a corporate email both times that he has worked corporate jobs, obviously. And what do they do to create those emails?
Speaker 2:It's often first initial, middle initial, last name.
Speaker 1:Yes, For instance, mine would be JE Johnson.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Which doesn't spell anything.
Speaker 2:As Matthew Lamont Overby. It spells M Lover B Y, which is commonly read as M Lover Boy, which is commonly read as Mloverboy, you're just one O away in the last name and the L-O-V-E-R really pops when people are reading your email address.
Speaker 1:So I think some people are like did he bring his own email address? How did he get this Loverboy email? Yeah, and then they realize who sent it to them.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I had the Mloverboy email address for most of my corporate career.
Speaker 1:So people took you really seriously. They knew what they were getting before they even opened the email.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they had to meet me, I think after.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's why you were so exceptional at your job. Is your email really fed into the bars on the floor?
Speaker 2:Got it. They're like this guy doesn't know anything.
Speaker 1:His email is Loverboy MLoverboy.
Speaker 2:He can't possibly be in charge of this project, but I was, so there you go, there's no way he's writing POs. He was writing POs.
Speaker 1:That's so funny to me. What's a PO?
Speaker 2:Purchase order. I wrote a lot of purchase orders for a lot of big pieces of equipment Cool. Now, those had to get signed by important people also, but that's cool, I wrote them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you did, nice, he was.
Speaker 2:And entered them.
Speaker 1:Official.
Speaker 2:Most of the time correctly, pretty good.
Speaker 1:Tell us everything else that's happened to you in the last two weeks.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, the last two weeks I don't know You've been gallivanting around doing weddings.
Speaker 1:Gallivanting. I like that word yeah.
Speaker 2:What else have we been doing, man, I don't know. Started working out again. It just kind of took, you know, a month and a half off for myself, which is just terrible for my mental health. It's really, really bad.
Speaker 1:Well, you didn't decide to just stop going. No, no, no the workout class that Matt has participated in for years that I can't talk about was saying that I signed him up for it and he didn't want to go.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I don't know why.
Speaker 2:Well, that's every time.
Speaker 1:It's compulsive for me to be like he didn't want to go and I signed him up and I made him go, which is dumb.
Speaker 2:It's a compulsive, I told you. So that's just who you are, I hate it is.
Speaker 1:No, I knew that would bother you. Is that why you said it, or do you mean it?
Speaker 2:No, that's why I said it.
Speaker 1:That's not nice, no, anyway. You just love broadening my horizons. No, and I think that one specifically I'm really proud because of how much you loved it and how much you integrated it into your life and how important it became to you. I felt well, because of how much you didn't want to go. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I felt the same way about yoga.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you didn't give me as much pushback on yoga though.
Speaker 2:No, because you were going. That's right, I was going along with you.
Speaker 1:And I just wanted you to come to a class or two with me, Whereas with this I think I was really nervous because I signed you up for like a 10-week commitment. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're like three days a week. You're going to this just so you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that felt a little like very overstepping.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to go meet other men.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And exercise with them.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh okay, well, I like exercising by myself. But it turns out I liked it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I feel like I just really couldn't keep my mouth shut, and it ended up making me look really bad, which is why.
Speaker 3:I was trying to keep my mouth shut.
Speaker 2:No, no, no it was all good.
Speaker 1:Anyway, Matt did this for how many years? Four years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 1:So Matt has done this workout class with the same four or five guys forever and the guy that runs it is doing a pause on the class because they're possibly opening a new facility.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was just like a handful of dudes in his garage or in like a space that he had rented for a while, and he's kind of expanded it to more classes.
Speaker 3:Matt's class got cut.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were like a random evening time and then everybody else was working out in the morning and he's like I can't keep doing this.
Speaker 1:So, after four years. So it's not like you just like one day up and decided you were never going to work out again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wasn't like well, fitness is no longer important to me and I would like to quit doing it and waste away. Right, it just happened organically, so but we're working out again.
Speaker 1:You did two workouts today prior to 11 o'clock, I thought my brain would be sharper because of it, and I think I actually have made myself much duller. Why do you think that would make you sharper? Because you know, like invigorated by the fitness.
Speaker 2:I mean, maybe if we would have recorded right after, but I don't think so. You ate lunch. I mean, it's not Usually, you're tired. You ate lunch. I mean it's not Usually, you're tired, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I do feel tired. I'll tell everybody what I did. I'll tell you what my rings say. Oh my goodness, I'm really proud of my rings and I'm talking to anybody that will listen about them today. Yeah, I have burned 565 of my 300-calorie goal.
Speaker 2:You just want an Apple Watch link with people on the pod, which?
Speaker 1:is usually. I usually only burn about 100 calories a day.
Speaker 2:You live what they would call a sedentary lifestyle generally.
Speaker 1:Well, if I don't work out Correct, I have to.
Speaker 2:Intentionally work out.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, we don't leave our house.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:And then I exercise 94 minutes, which is a lot, that's way too much time, and then that's all. That's all it tells me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I swam almost a mile.
Speaker 2:You did.
Speaker 1:You did, you know.
Speaker 2:Good for you.
Speaker 1:I am trying to work the swimming back in. Matt got me I'm all over the place today.
Speaker 3:You are.
Speaker 1:Matt got me waterproof or underwater waterproof.
Speaker 2:I mean, they are waterproof, you're swimming in them.
Speaker 1:Headphone MP3 player thing.
Speaker 2:Not Bluetooth, they're bone conduction headphones.
Speaker 1:They're cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you have problems with your ears. You have tiny, weird ears that earbuds don't fit.
Speaker 1:My ears aren't that small. My ear canals are not real.
Speaker 2:You got normal ears with little ear holes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, little ear holes are not compatible with a lot of headphones. Sensitive ear holes too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's more that they're sensitive than anything else. I don't think they're abnormally small.
Speaker 2:Flinkishly small. That's why she can't ever hear me.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's it? No, I think that's a me issue.
Speaker 2:Okay, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:I'll take ownership of that. I don't need to blame it away.
Speaker 2:You should blame tiny ear holes. No, She'd be like nope, there's not enough area for sound to yeah you say an ear hole.
Speaker 1:This many times is really getting me yeah, it's a funny word. I don't think it is a word like well, they are both words, but I don't think, comboed, that it's a defined a commonly used term no you don't know if webster's has ear hole in it, and probably not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, probably not.
Speaker 1:I like to use that for all things.
Speaker 3:Eye hole hole nose hole, ear hole, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:This is dumb, dumb, dumb oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:All right, we're doing it.
Speaker 2:We're back, guys. I hope the anticipation was worth it.
Speaker 1:It wasn't.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness Anyway.
Speaker 1:Anyway yeah, exercise, you're tired and foggy, clearly what do we got for bad dad mean mom bad.
Speaker 2:Dad mean mom man? Uh, she's. The toddler has been in a real phase lately no, no, not about the toddler.
Speaker 1:No, what did bad?
Speaker 2:I'm just thinking. I'm just thinking she's just had a lot of moments lately that we've had, you know, some back and forths with. She's taken up saying worst day ever. This is the worst day ever If anything goes wrong.
Speaker 3:It's really funny.
Speaker 2:This is the worst day ever, Like she drops her sandwich. Worst day ever. I was like that's a little far, but it's funny. Um, she started using the word damn more. Okay think that's dad's fault oh, okay, there we go yeah, she picked that one up from dad, and then I tried to course correct and say dang, and she keeps correcting. She goes damn, I go dang it and she goes damn it it and I'm like, oh yep, that's my bad kiddo Bad dad, bad dad.
Speaker 1:Mean mom was gone for two days to be in a wedding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that will forever be like my bad dad mean mom moments is anytime I'm doing something where I'm gone. That's hard for me, oh for you yeah, although it just like it feels like I'm not being present. Well, I mean you're, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, no, just like it feels like I'm not being present. Well, I mean, you're literally not present, but it's not an ongoing issue, that's just a moment in time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't like it, it's okay, yeah but if somebody else were to do it, I'm like, yeah, you should, you deserve that. But if I do it, I'm like, no, you're a piece of trash. My self-talk's gotten really negative.
Speaker 2:Where'd you learn that?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't have an internal monologue, just so I don't have to hear myself talk.
Speaker 2:I think no, no, are you sure?
Speaker 1:yeah, I think that you've always not had an internal dialogue. I think that's true, right it does help still does not make sense to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I low-key like I'm a liar yeah, I think matt's lying. I really do okay I think there's something going on up there well, yeah, because I also don't really have like images either right? You basically like I don't think no I just think no, but it's amorphous, like the thoughts just kind of happen, we bypass, I don't know the language and visual center of my brain. They're up there, but they just kind of snap into place when they do or they don't.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, I don't know, I don't believe him. I think that he just doesn't know what's going on in his own head.
Speaker 2:Well, what would that be then?
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:What problem is that?
Speaker 1:A lack of self-awareness.
Speaker 2:Oh well, I probably have that too.
Speaker 1:I don't actually know, I'm kind of joking with you.
Speaker 2:You're like a professional in this field, though.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah. You know my degree in science my degree in business and then my experience, you know, being a photographer and now influencer, slash content creator, really has given me the expertise to be able to really talk about your mental health and the way your brain operates.
Speaker 2:It's just facts Straight facts, straight facts.
Speaker 1:Are you okay? You're so out of it today. He may not sound out of it, but I keep looking over and he is not with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I've I. Yeah, I don't know. I may need a tweak in the medications that I'm taking, Cause I feel like an absolute space cadet for about the last week.
Speaker 1:Really, did your meds change?
Speaker 2:I did, I did. You know we've tweaked and dialed some things, I guess, out. Dialed them out.
Speaker 1:It might need to be dialed back in.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, cool, cool We'll have to talk to your doctor about that. Yeah, I will.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about Reads of the Week.
Speaker 2:Reads of the Week.
Speaker 1:Reads of the Week.
Speaker 2:Greg. Greg's Reads of the Week. What?
Speaker 1:have Greg. We give him a cell phone. He looks up lots and lots of news.
Speaker 2:Greg is your dad.
Speaker 1:He reads a lot and sends us articles Anyway.
Speaker 2:I'm seeing some good ones in here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure you can go first.
Speaker 2:US honeybee population reaches record high.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good. Yeah right, that's really good Isn't that good yeah, 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2:Love that we just sent that.
Speaker 1:No anxiety. I haven't seen that yet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just sent it.
Speaker 1:No anxiety. Very happy to hear it. Save the bees, love it.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a video. I clicked on it and I was like well, it turns out, the article is basically the headline, but there's a video above the words.
Speaker 1:Anyway, you are not with us, all right. Next article Florida and Texas see surging house supply, but not enough buyers.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm not selling a house. Three out of five.
Speaker 1:It doesn't give me any anxiety. Yeah, I'm not selling a house, three out of five. It doesn't give me any anxiety. I, yeah, I don't. It's not really applicable to us. Yeah, yeah, I honestly hopefully. That's a good thing. That means that maybe housing will start to correct itself a little bit, but probably not.
Speaker 2:Who knows?
Speaker 1:Okay, and then last article for this week, Mr Beast. Breakup with management is a warning sign to the industry.
Speaker 2:The industry of what.
Speaker 1:Content creation. Oh, got it, I would imagine he's a YouTube person. I mean yeah, that too. Okay, how, what? What is it? How does it make you feel?
Speaker 2:it doesn't make me feel anything at all. What no?
Speaker 1:the housing industry article yeah, that's like the world at large I don't know when it's about what you do, it's not a problem yeah, I don't I don't either.
Speaker 2:Okay, but like Matt, it's, I'm not saying it makes sense, I'm just saying what I feel.
Speaker 1:No, it makes no sense that's like being like hey top person in field does something that shows signs of what field is going to be moving to.
Speaker 2:Is it signs of what the field is going to be?
Speaker 1:doing. That's what the headline said.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I don't think it's true.
Speaker 1:You haven't even, you don't even know what to.
Speaker 2:I've actually glanced at this article already.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:They're like well, this could be a warning sign to management that if they don't align with the values of their creators and A, like our management's pretty good and B, Mr Beast, dropping management is kind of different than most people dropping management. No, he does not need management because he's a global brand.
Speaker 1:But also I guess that is kind of obvious your management probably should align with you.
Speaker 2:Yes, Basically, the article is like well, if they just pitch you a bunch of stuff that you don't like and force you to make deals which it's like, yeah, that's not good, that's not good for anybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, I take it back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did a sneak preview of the article. By reading it Glancing through it. I love that for you. Yeah, wow, that's probably enough of Greg's headlines. He has a bunch of them this week that we've got kind of a backlog going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, there was a while there that he was not sending us as many articles and I felt just we went through a drought. Yeah, it was a news drought.
Speaker 2:But it's rainy season now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is, yeah, monsoon season, spring has sprung, we we're trying to make some when does summer start?
Speaker 2:June 22nd Fact. You knew that right off the top.
Speaker 1:It's summer solstice.
Speaker 2:You said that to me, as though the summer solstice is something I should be tracking.
Speaker 1:It's the 21st or the 22nd? No, I feel like I need to look it up.
Speaker 2:That sounds great First day, just you were so ready with it. I thought you were going to have to look it up, but you were like summer solstice.
Speaker 1:It happens on either June 20th, 21st or 22nd each year, every year, okay.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 1:Well, that's good to know, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the kind of trivia that I'll hold on to, yeah.
Speaker 1:This year it's June 20th, so I wasn't correct 20th Ooh, early Early summer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's rained a lot. Do you know why? Oh, we got hail. Remember our hail, do you?
Speaker 1:know why.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's not. Oh, why is it 20th?
Speaker 1:Because it's the leap year this year.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:So we're like an extra.
Speaker 2:Because we're like a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We got a little extra day in.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:For about 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:It looked like it had snowed outside. That was wild. It was very crazy.
Speaker 2:It was scary.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Well, mainly for our kid. She was scared.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I'm like I don't. Yeah, I didn't feel scared. It wasn't big enough hail to damage. I mean plants. Like to damage, I mean plants. It could definitely damage plants, yeah, but not like things that, not like vehicles or anything. I wouldn't test it, but yeah Do you think the roof's okay, should we have gotten up there and checked it, or did you?
Speaker 2:What do you do when you check that roof?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's not a good sign. I don't know. I've been on the roof. Yeah, I know you have, I clean the skylights.
Speaker 2:I I've been on the roof. Yeah, I know you have. I cleaned the skylights.
Speaker 1:I figured you got up there to check after the hail. That's why I thought you were up there.
Speaker 2:I got up there to clean the skylights, Got it. They've just been so gross for so long. Turns out a couple of them. The mess is on the inside, probably from construction years ago. Yeah, so now I got to figure out how to clean the inside of a very high skylight.
Speaker 1:They're not that high though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like, how am I going to get to the one in our closet? A high ladder. I don't think we have a ladder that high. We have a 10 foot, don't we? Uh, maybe, but I'm gonna have to stand on top of a 10 foot. I'll stand there and catch you. Oh, then we'll both be badly injured hey but neither of us will be dead or we both will. No, we'll go out in just humiliating fashion.
Speaker 1:It could be worse.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, you want a word of the week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course I do.
Speaker 2:I mean word of the two weeks really.
Speaker 1:Word of the week. I'm never going to let it go.
Speaker 2:No, that's fine, Some people really like it.
Speaker 1:I'm sure they don't.
Speaker 2:Anyway, go ahead Anyway yeah, you familiar with the word caveat.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, you just looked at me like I was an idiot.
Speaker 1:No, you're not an idiot.
Speaker 2:Let me find a different one, then I like that Well, you have to define it.
Speaker 1:What if people don't know? Caveat caveat?
Speaker 2:okay, fine, I'll define that one. A caveat is an explanation or warning that should be remembered when you are doing or thinking about something so like.
Speaker 1:The caveat of getting on the roof is you could fall through it's dangerous.
Speaker 2:You could fall through or fall off, right, yeah, okay, fine, so you know the word caveat and you were disgusted by me acting like you might not.
Speaker 1:I was not disgusted, I was surprised.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 1:I was excited, honestly.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I very rarely know the words you say, so I get excited if I do.
Speaker 2:Well, how about the word rancorous?
Speaker 1:Rancorous.
Speaker 2:Rancorous.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've never, not even nope. We can boil it back down to the word rancorous okay, I don't.
Speaker 2:I've never, not even nope we could boil it back down to the word rancor that's concerning yeah, we'll do rancor rancorous because rancorous is just like you know okay, tell me what it means well, you also have to watch out for rancor, as, like the, wasn't that a Star Wars animal? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Is that what we're talking about right now? I'm so confused.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Bitter deep-seated ill will, ooh, yeah. Like I was feeling rancorous toward a person. Yeah, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, showing deep-seated resentment is rancorous.
Speaker 1:What is rancor?
Speaker 2:Deep-seated ill will. So rancorous is showing deep-seated ill will or resentment.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's not a noun.
Speaker 2:Well, rancor is a noun.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's a fine rancor again for me.
Speaker 2:You have a lot of rancor towards me handling the podcast uploading.
Speaker 1:That's a noun yeah.
Speaker 2:You have rancor for something. God, I hope I'm saying rancor correctly. I've said it so many times. I don't think my brain's going to keep that one, or you have rancorous feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that I can keep Towards something that. I can keep.
Speaker 2:But you can't get rancor.
Speaker 1:No, what? I don't know. My brain can't process it.
Speaker 2:R-A-N-C-O-R Rancor.
Speaker 1:Even more so I'm out Rancor. Even more so I'm out Rancor. That's what I would have said, rancor.
Speaker 2:Rancor, rancorous, rancorous.
Speaker 4:Rancorous.
Speaker 2:Yep, there you go.
Speaker 1:So I was kind of close, rancorous. No, you were not.
Speaker 3:Rancor, that's just an accent you're doing Ranc rancor we've said it so many times that my brain's like not handling it anymore oh, okay but rancorous
Speaker 2:rancorous rancor no I don't think that one's gonna stick that one is not and caveat, you knew and caveat, you knew, caveat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know caveat. Yeah, I don't know how to spell it.
Speaker 2:C-A-V-E-A-T Cav-Eat.
Speaker 1:Okay, cav-Eat. Cav-eat, not to be confused with caviar Caveat Caveate if you will Caveate.
Speaker 2:You can't just make up words and then pretend they're real.
Speaker 1:Why not? I did it when I was a kid and I'll do it as an adult. No one will understand me, that's okay.
Speaker 2:Are we just doing all the things we did as kids?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Why not? What's wrong with being a kid?
Speaker 2:Everything.
Speaker 1:Why are you being so hateful?
Speaker 2:I have a real rancor for children.
Speaker 3:You know that look at that vocab beautiful, beautiful use, beautiful use it really is.
Speaker 2:Should we listen to some voicemails, some emails?
Speaker 1:sure no all right, let's do it hey, joe and mad.
Speaker 3:Um, I'm an aussie calling from devon in england. I just finished listening to your episode where you were talking about if hot dog is a sandwich, and I think that a hot dog is actually a taco, because the bread is on three sides of a hot dog just like a taco, whereas a sandwich only has two. Anyway, my question is all to do with vibes, because when I speak to my boyfriend I make jokes all the time that I think the day of the week, thursday, has the same vibes as the color purple and the number seven, but he's neurodivergent and he absolutely hates that. Um, I was just wondering what your takes are on that and if you have anything similar immediately, immediately, when you said that, I was like no, I get that thursday doesn't get purple.
Speaker 1:To me it gives orange, wednesday's more purple, but seven I get.
Speaker 2:And then immediately I looked over at you and you were like absolutely this has about as much hold for me as you just making words up you could be like friday is lettuce also space I love, and tacos, no, I love the taco hot dog.
Speaker 1:I want to start there because I agree I know a hot dog and a taco are, not a sandwich, because there is carbohydrates on three sides. No, I love that. No.
Speaker 2:I was so dismayed I knocked my contact out of place, just face palming.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:No, that's wrong, it's bread. Taco is tortilla specific.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what about like ravioli?
Speaker 2:What about ravioli? What do?
Speaker 1:you want me to say, or lasagna, that's a stuffed pasta what about lasagna?
Speaker 2:layered pasta a sandwich no okay not bread.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bang.
Speaker 1:What about a wrap?
Speaker 2:Kind of a taco hybrid.
Speaker 1:What's a taco?
Speaker 2:Tortilla based.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Really, it depends on how they style the wrap. It could almost be a burrito.
Speaker 1:Is a burrito, a sandwich.
Speaker 2:No, it's a burrito as is a taco. Is a taco Different genre? You literally just tried to tell me a hot dog is a taco, so a taco's a genre for you.
Speaker 1:No, I think that a hot dog falls in the same one as a taco.
Speaker 2:Then what is that thing?
Speaker 1:I don't know Three-sided sandwich so a hot dog's a sandwich.
Speaker 2:Bang, we did it, guys. We made it all the way around. Taco's a sandwich, everything's a sandwich.
Speaker 1:I want a wrap and a burrito to have a category too.
Speaker 2:Wrap.
Speaker 1:Burrito, okay, anyway, I totally relate to the days of the week having different vibes. I understand the vibe thing entirely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all gray, what I'm just kidding thing entirely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're all gray, what Gross. No wonder your world's sad.
Speaker 2:No, I just wanted the reaction.
Speaker 1:What's my vibe? Tell me vibes. What do I give?
Speaker 2:you.
Speaker 1:Pink.
Speaker 2:Really Probably because I'm just seeing pink right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, Matt, that's not right.
Speaker 2:You're wearing a lot of pink and purple, pinkish purple.
Speaker 1:No, it's not. It's not's not. Observe me and tell me what I'm wearing.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Another voicemail Are you ready, let's ride, let's ride. Why did I do that? I don't know.
Speaker 4:Hi, matt and Joe. My name is Micah, I'm calling from Reno Nevada and I just want to start by saying that I echo all of the other caller sentiments that your guys' content is refreshing and knowledgeable and even when you think you're unqualified, you're really helping a lot of us out here. I truly believe I speak for multiple people when I say that. So thank you for that. Joe's got me a little nervous with the 90 seconds.
Speaker 4:So I have a couple of questions for you, but they are on the more lighthearted side. So my first one is if you could switch places with anyone in the world for one day, who would it be? And my second one is have you ever been to Lake Tahoe? And if you haven't, do you have any plans to come? It's beautiful, it's a great destination for families or a couple trip, and if you guys are in the area, it would be so cool to meet you. But anyway, thanks for everything that you do. Hi to both of your parents and just keep up the great work. Enjoy your butterfly garden. And, yeah, just appreciate you immensely. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:That was so nice, thank you. And also there's dozens of you. Great job on the 90 second. Totally, I can't set the 90 second limit. It's not me.
Speaker 2:No, it's a function of the software.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, I've never been to Lake Tahoe. Have you been to Lake Tahoe?
Speaker 2:I have not been to Lake Tahoe. Wait, did we drive through it Near it For Sarah's wedding?
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:We were in the area. No, you're looking at me like I'm.
Speaker 1:I've completely lost my mind.
Speaker 2:I think we were nearby, but we have not been to Tahoe. I don't were nearby, but we have not been to Tahoe. I don't think so Because flying into Tahoe is an option, but it's way more expensive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's closer. I pitched the idea. This is like my far-fetched dreaming. I pitched the idea that if we could get the lake collection samples done early enough next year, that for five years of the lake collection that we go to tahoe to shoot it oh, hell, yeah, that's a.
Speaker 2:That's the way to go yeah, so anyway a business I pitched that idea out there.
Speaker 1:I mean we, it's art.
Speaker 2:We would be paying for ourselves to go out there, but I just thought it would be cool to. I mean that would be fun.
Speaker 1:I just thought it would be cool to shoot it on a big lake.
Speaker 2:On a big lake yeah.
Speaker 1:Because we've shot it at our lakes. You know that would be cool. Our Midwest, which are great. But anyway, yeah, I've never been, but that is a dream of mine to go and everybody speaks very highly of it, yeah, first question Remind me what the first question was again. I don't have it in my brain. I was hoping you were going to refresh me.
Speaker 2:Hold on, hold on, we can get this.
Speaker 1:I know you got it.
Speaker 2:Oh, we can switch places with anybody.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that really stressed me out. That's why I left it for a second. Not, your question was great, just, I don't have an answer off the top. Do just, I don't have an answer off the top. Do you have something off the top?
Speaker 2:I don't have a specific person. I think I would switch places with like a big performing artist, like musical, like a Taylor Swift per se, but I don't know who I would pick specifically.
Speaker 3:But I think that's an experience Like Tom Petty Sure, he's dead.
Speaker 2:I know, I know so, not him, but like Tom Petty 30 years ago, yeah, yeah, somebody like on that level, because I think that's an experience that, like you're not gonna get anywhere else, like any of those guys that talk about performing and girls that was not meant to be gendered you started with taylor swift I, I did. Any of those people that talk about like performing, like they're basically addicted to performing a lot of them.
Speaker 1:Right, that makes sense Because, like it's a different high, I'm sure it is an absolute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you're like in control of like dozens of thousands of people, right? So like I think that would be who I switched places with that has no like. That does not interest me in the slightest but like you're with them, you know what, like you're like a part of a big thing. If you know this isn't speaking to you, not at all, no, and that's okay, that it is to you I'm not dismissing that.
Speaker 1:That's really cool. I think that's a great answer yeah, what I'm telling you is that doesn't have appeal to me personally. Got it? Yeah, no, I think that's a great answer. What I'm telling you is that doesn't have appeal to me personally. Got it? Yeah, no, I think that's a fantastic answer.
Speaker 2:Like I watch music docs all the time.
Speaker 1:You're really into music and artistry though.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:Something that I think a lot of people get wrong about you is people think that you're very analytical and they think of you as like engineer, black and white thinking kind of guy.
Speaker 2:And black and white thinking. Did guy Am black and white thinking. Did get an engineering degree.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 2:I understand, I am analytical, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think you're analytical at all.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, I think you're black and white and. I think sometimes black and white gets mistaken for analytical.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And I think that you're capable of being analytical should you need to be.
Speaker 2:I'm just a black and white vibes thinker.
Speaker 1:One million percent. Good vibe, bad vibe, no, genuinely.
Speaker 2:Move towards the good vibes, move away from the bad vibes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's pretty much how I live.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think what people don't know about you is you're actually a creative. I think that your brain very much operates in a standard, like the way that all creators have interacted with work it's highly unstructured. I'll tell you that yeah, and I think structure is good for you. I think you could do creativity creativity in a structured way. But you're a talented artist like oh thanks, but you don't do a lot of that.
Speaker 2:No, no Again. I need more outlets.
Speaker 1:You know, I think I'm in the wrong season of life to ask me this question, because I think maybe I would say getting to have the experience of doing a Sports Illustrated model shoot, like flying somewhere and doing something like that, and to experience what that's like, maybe be my first thing to say where it's not. I don't know, I think I'm much more into like still imagery and things like that and it's like really fun for me.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I think that whole process would be really interesting to experience. Um, but genuinely like, the first thing that comes to mind is I'd want to trade places with, if it's for only for one day. Um, like a travel, like a big travel blogger.
Speaker 2:Okay, I was wondering if you'd go like athlete. Maybe I don't know. No no, you don't want to compete.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I I don't have anybody else's life that I really want. I really no, my life's great. Genuinely, I'm very content with who I am and what I can have, and I think a lot of my issue doesn't come with what I'm capable of.
Speaker 2:It has to do with, like, the consistency of my own actions yeah, feeling like you're capable of more and not executing the way you want to.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah yeah, and so I don't have like a would want to trade with places, with somebody but for a day, and so I think for me those end up just being more like goals or interests of mine than they do actually trading places with somebody for a day. That's where I'm like unique experience which is why I like performing artist or like, yeah, it doesn't. I just don't think there are a lot of those.
Speaker 2:Championship level athlete.
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, that, yeah, the experience doesn't interest me. I think a little bit, and this is so. This is going to sound not how I want it to. I'm already rolling my eyes at myself before I'm even talking, but it's like, well, if I wanted to have done those things, then those would have been my goals and that's what I would have been going after.
Speaker 2:You know what my goal could be to be an elite NBA Finals basketball player. It was not going to happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd need the height nor the specific athleticism for that sport.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I just have never had me personally. I've never had a passion for something that I wasn't well equipped to do. Does that make sense. So, I don't have a lot of like I don't know. I'm trying to think of something that interests me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not like an Olympics swimmer. No, you hated swimming.
Speaker 1:No, that doesn't interest me at all. I think that it's incredible. I celebrate and commend all those people for all the hard work they've put in and the success that they've had, but I don't want to trade places with them for a day. Fair enough, you're funny in that your dream, I think, is to be seen or be on a stage or have that experience.
Speaker 2:It's not about being seen. Yeah, it's just having that experience.
Speaker 1:Whereas I think my, I don't know.
Speaker 2:You're just to disappear, yeah. I'm like, what if I'm just really Like a remote monk for a day, a little bit.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean. I just don't think I'm in a good season to have a real, true answer to that.
Speaker 2:Fair enough, fair enough.
Speaker 1:Sorry guys, that was way longer than what you wanted. You wanted me to just be like Avril Lavigne.
Speaker 2:I was going to say, put me as a front man in some major group.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just me and the boys.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And 25,000 people.
Speaker 1:No, I want to have no responsibilities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know, like it's your thing.
Speaker 1:That's why I think a shoot day, like if you were. That's why my brain went to like a Sports Illustrated model, like on a shoot day, because their whole day is planned out for them. I imagine, like on that specific day, your dream is to have an itinerary like breakfast to bedtime.
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 1:Again, not forever, not like I don't want my life to be like that, just where you are right now, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'd love a whole day planned out that I don't have to think about a damn thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Love that, for you Love that. And then at the end of the day I feel like I got things done. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Still because there were needs people had of me, but it was just me showing up with a good attitude.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 1:And then they made everything else happen great.
Speaker 2:It's the exact opposite of your job right now. Yeah, makes sense, oh, anyway.
Speaker 3:Let's move past it yeah, we got emails?
Speaker 2:We for sure got emails. Hi, joe and Matt. I have a few questions for Matt, selfishly motivated. Recently, my therapist asked me how I feel about ADHD medication. I'm not officially diagnosed, but she told me that I need to see a doctor and look into medication. I feel fine with it. However, I was wanting to know if you're on medication and, if so, how does it make you feel? Are there side effects that bother you? We're thinking about trying a non-stimulant option first. Something else that's been bothering me about this whole process is one of my close friends doesn't want me on medication and told me to take herbal supplements. I don't know how to explain to her that it's more complicated than that. If you are on medication, did you experience any backlash from friends, slash family? Um, I am on medication.
Speaker 1:I feel like all of our friends and family are very pro. You do you? Yeah, cause like my sister's super anti.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Meds.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But she's never like made any kind of statement about. She's just anti for her and her family. She's very supportive of you, do you?
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, sure. There wasn't backlash to when I got medicated. Now, I didn't get medicated until I was 30, 31.
Speaker 1:No 30.
Speaker 2:I am 31 right now. Yeah, I've been medicated much longer than that.
Speaker 1:I think you were actually 29.
Speaker 2:29? Anyway, see, I need it guys. Anyway, no, I didn't get medicated until the last couple of years, and part of that is because, especially when we were growing up, I think they were overprescribing stimulants a lot and so even though my mom kind of knew that I was definitely probably ADHD, she was very hesitant to take me in and get me medicated. Now, personally, that would have helped me a lot when I was younger, through school and a lot of things, but she was just I could kind of manage without, and so we did and I was going to note that I think there are a lot of things that aren't medication that very much improve you and your ADHD, like what you experience, and please correct me if I'm speaking out of pocket but I think that sometimes getting medicated it's given you the opportunity to kind of push past the block of um normal day-to-day tasks that have to be done in order to create routine and structure.
Speaker 1:And once that routine and structure is established, you're able to not depend on your medication the same way, because your routine and your established health things help facilitate a healthier overall lifestyle that supports you and your ADHD less than the medication.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Did that make sense? Yeah, okay yeah.
Speaker 2:So specifically I take a stimulant medication. I actually also have a beta blocker and a different antidepressant deal that I take, welbutrin specifically, so that's kind of a stimulant-ish antidepressant.
Speaker 1:We are not professionals. We don't know anything about what we're talking about. Go get this stuff You've tried a lot of different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've tried a few different things, for sure, but I do take stimulant medication and the thing about it is, especially if you need it, it's not necessarily going to feel like it's speeding you up. I remember the first time I took it it was much more that, just like you described, the barrier to entry for just doing things was just lower. So it was like if I took my medication, things that would have been like.
Speaker 2:I have to go move the laundry over, I have to go wash dishes, I have to go, you know, shower.
Speaker 2:Yeah, regular maintenance stuff that's not very stimulating to you. It was just easier. It was just like, okay, I will just go do that thing, because, realistically, there's a lot of things that you avoid doing that are just go execute this task and it's going to take you 35 seconds and it's not going to take much out of you, but the barrier just feels really big, and so that is the kind of thing that it helped with, and so it was a noticeable difference in a lot of that kind of thing and it can help build structure. But also, as you get older, like speaking with my doctor, he's talked many times that he took stimulant when he was younger and now he, where he is now, he doesn't take it and he gets as much because what it can also do is kind of amp up anxiety. And so if you're anxiety prone which is pretty common, um it, some of it is that it builds up a little bit of that pressure that you use to motivate yourself already.
Speaker 1:But everybody's really, really different and things that work for people are really different, and so I would recommend talking with your psychiatrist and just seeing what they recommend and definitely going in every 30 days and being abundantly honest about how things are impacting you. I know that when Matt was on one of the medications at first, he was so mean, genuinely mean and Matt's never been mean a day in his life.
Speaker 1:Like he's not a mean person. And he was straight up mean and I told him. I said I think this medication is impacting something in your brain that you are being mean. And I told him. I said I think this medication is impacting something in your brain that you are being mean. And he's like I don't think that's it. I think you're just being way more annoying right now. That's what you told me. I'll never forget.
Speaker 2:That sounds like a mean thing. I would say it was Adderall specifically is what it was.
Speaker 1:I'll never forget it. But you went into your doctor and you said and I was like I'm being told I'm not very nice right now.
Speaker 2:He's like that can happen. Change it, cool, we'll go back to whatever.
Speaker 1:And so, anyway, different things work for everybody. And just be aware and talk to the people in your life about your behavior, because I don't think you would have known you were being mean.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't feel it that way.
Speaker 1:You genuinely just thought I was being way more.
Speaker 2:It was like just life's more annoying this month and so, yeah, Uh, yeah, work with your doctor, be really honest. But, uh, a stimulant can be a really useful tool for the people that need it.
Speaker 1:Um working out is huge, but yeah exercise is really big.
Speaker 2:Uh, meditation is good. I'm told I'm not good at it. Even my doctor he's like I am not good at it, but I do it and it helps me. So try sleep hygiene. All that stuff is like equally important. What you eat is important, but the medication can be a really helpful tool.
Speaker 1:Basically take care of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it turns out, taking care of yourself is good for you and good for your brain.
Speaker 2:But a stimulant might also help you take care of yourself. So good luck. I wouldn't be afraid of that specifically, and the thing about it is if you take it and don't like it, you don't have to keep taking it and it's an immediate effect and it, you know, is what it is. So I'd give it a shot. But if you want to try non-stimulant also, great. I think all of those things are really useful tools because I in fact I remember when I started I was in therapy but I hadn't been medicated yet, and a couple months in she's like there are going to be some things that we can't really work on until you probably get medicated and can kind of address and see the difference in kind of really the way your brain operates that barrier to entry.
Speaker 2:I think yeah because you're going to have to see what the rest of things are like. I wish.
Speaker 1:I remember what that documentary was that we watched that was talking about.
Speaker 1:I believe it was focused on ASD in the spectrum, but it was okay. So we watched this documentary and I may have talked about this previously, but it talked all about I know I've talked about this before, actually, but how this man was on the spectrum and the way that he described it after doing some kind of therapy was by neurotypical people he'd always been told the world is colorful, the world is colorful, the world is colorful. And then, from his viewpoint, the world was black and white and whatever therapy he did gave him the opportunity to see the world in the color and then, even though it didn't last and it wasn't that, his life was then full of color, it went back to black and white. But having seen what the colorful was and being able to know that people weren't lying to him and being able to see from that perspective, even for a small glimpse, helped him utilize that, and I feel like that is you after getting on a medication, understanding that that barrier to entry should be in a balanced brain, it is easier.
Speaker 1:And so you are experiencing, because I think a lot of people who struggle with household tasks and feel really big barrier to entry on things that some people feel to be very simple end up being shamed out of their minds because people don't understand how difficult that barrier to entry can feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah yeah, I think he was taking I don't know, I think it was some kind of psychedelic, I don't remember.
Speaker 1:I just know that that example has stuck with me for a long time of thinking about how that really is the beauty of perspective. It's not about walking in somebody's shoes. It's not about changing your lifestyle entirely to fit somebody else's perspective. It's about getting a glimpse in so that you can, you know.
Speaker 2:Understand that there are other lifestyles.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, like it applied, not just like to neurodivergence and neurotypical, it applied across the life for me, okay another email, Another email.
Speaker 2:All right, Hi guys. Love the pod. Hear it every week once it's out while I drive to work. Love the serious discussion as much as the laughs and the giggles you guys Get me on the way and how much I relate to your relationship with my husband. I have a soon-to-be three-year-old boy that is great at sleeping but not so much going down. Matt recently mentioned how she had some nights where she was not going down easily and it was taking over half an hour or over an hour and a half, Not often no.
Speaker 2:I'm in the same situation right now. Either my husband or I need to lay in my toddler's bed with him, and it's taking him at least an hour or two to go to bed down. And, like Matt, we get frustrated after that hour because of how uncomfortable it is, especially when we know he is super tired. I guess my question is did you try something new or did she get better on her own? Thank something new or did she get better on her own? Thank you, man. I think the biggest thing is it's it's age appropriate, it's the biggest thing.
Speaker 1:I have to reframe a lot, I and I think not put like making sure that they're in bed at the right time. Yeah, I think that makes a world of difference. I think more often than not the nights that it's difficult, it's because we've pushed it a little longer than we should have, because of xyz or whatever it is, and then we pay for it yeah, there's nights where it's unavoidable and, yeah, if it's too late or if you try too early, yeah it's.
Speaker 2:It's so much of just picking up on kind of their rhythms. We haven't fixed it.
Speaker 1:It's not something that is going to be fixed. I would say that it is just very age appropriate, yeah, and um, consistency is good and it has kind of we've had good experiences like cutting screen time down before bed, like when we started doing that some it helped.
Speaker 2:Um, not permanently, not every time, but trying to that. One of the biggest things is like, if we can get out of the room, if there's some way we can get our cause, she wants to be up and like talk with us.
Speaker 2:Um, if we can somehow it is, but she uses it as a way to stay awake to try and talk to us. So if we can find a way out, even for five minutes, just to be like, hey, you need to do five minutes. If you're hungry, you need to do five minutes with your eyes closed. And if you're still awake after five minutes with your eyes closed, like let me check on the monitor, we'll get a snack. And nine times out of ten, 35 seconds into five minutes with our eyes closed, we are passed out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As long as we're not in there.
Speaker 1:So yeah, bedtime's one of those things, that's just I don't know, it's hard.
Speaker 3:It is.
Speaker 1:Cause I get it, I relate to it. I was a kid that was very scared of bedtime. The dark being in my room by myself terrified me, terrified me. So I think I have a lot of empathy for that and I want to make sure, like it's really important to me that she feels safe and that she feels that her safety doesn't like her feeling safe is important to me and that her feeling unsafe does not cause me frustration, like I don't want to belittle those feelings, and so that part is tiring because you have to really really practice patience, but I think time I still hate going to sleep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do, I love it I hate missing out. She's like if you guys are awake.
Speaker 2:I want to be awake.
Speaker 1:I get it, but not really. I'm team go to bed.
Speaker 2:You're like, I love going to bed. It's my life Go to bed.
Speaker 1:You're like I love going to bed. It's my life, it's my passion. No, not really. I'm a, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll stay up late. Yeah, I'll wake up early. I'm kind of like I'm here for a good time, you know.
Speaker 2:Not a long time.
Speaker 1:Not a long time.
Speaker 2:No, long time's fine too here for a good time, also a bad time.
Speaker 1:Also a bad time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 1:Ooh, maybe that's what I need on a shirt.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Here for a good time and a bad time.
Speaker 2:There you go Night-night.
Speaker 1:Night-night. Yeah, one more Sure, one more.
Speaker 2:All right, hi Joe and Matt. Frequent listener and I've sent emails previously for questions, so I decided to reach back out about something recent in my life. I don't know why I laughed. That wasn't funny. I got broken up with on that and see, also not funny, damn it. I got broken up with on sunday and I'm taking it really hard.
Speaker 1:We're not laughing at anything to do with this?
Speaker 2:yes, yeah, we weren't together long, but we really connected and spent a lot of time with each other's friends and family. The breakup came out of nowhere. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he would just disappoint me as a boyfriend. After a small argument, following a full weekend together and making plans for the next week, as well as a beach trip with his family this summer. We haven't talked, but he agreed yesterday to have a conversation with me this week. I don't know how to move forward from here and I'm struggling to understand why it all ended, while while also being worried about him and his mental well-being, as his mom reached out and said she's concerned and feels it came out of nowhere. Also, he does have anxiety and ADHD, so I was hoping Matt could chime in about shutting down during conflict slash, shutting people out. Thanks for always being a bright spot in my week. I did not intentionally make the questions centered around me this week.
Speaker 1:Just to be clear, he picked out anything that said Matt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just like I'm scrolling through it. We have too many emails right now we probably should just knock out a bunch on an episode Anxiety and ADHD. Yeah, that's my wheelhouse, here's my thing.
Speaker 1:What Matt can give, his two cents. But I say no conversation. I say people need to be able to voice their needs and it is not your job to anticipate them and it is not your job to figure them out for them. And I think that when people tell you they don't want a relationship or this or that, I'm just team, listen to them and move forward on your own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's actually really uh poignant advice, uh, cause you're not. If those are things that he's struggling with, you're not going to be able to fix that for him, um, nor should you be expected to, and um, um, it's something that is going to be best handled by him, even if it's handled poorly and slowly and in the wrong season um, because I've had those periods, for sure, uh, multiple times. I've had times like that in the last year, I'm sure, but it's really gonna have to come from him. I think the best thing you can do is just give some indication of your support and care.
Speaker 2:I agree, Say hey, I'm available, not long-term relationship-wise like that.
Speaker 1:I would say more along the lines of I don't know, I would be straying away from having a conversation in person because I feel like in person it can end up kind of drawing out a conversation.
Speaker 1:I would be sending a text or like to just say, hey, and it depends on your relationship too, but like if I had heard from Matt's mom, you and I have more of a relationship than your mom and I have, and so I would have probably shot you a text and just said, hey, uh, your mom texted me checking in on you, and so I just wanted to let you know that I had been in contact with her and that I'm thinking of you and I care for you and if you need anything, doors always open and I'm um.
Speaker 2:Anything, doors always open and I'm um here for you and, if not, no big deal, and I wish you the best. Yeah, yeah, just something very in like, hey in your corner, doesn't need to be relationship I'm I hear what you said support you, care about you, um, I think you're great. Yeah, yeah, and if you need something, say something, but uh, yeah, you won't be able to address this yourself and that's that sucks and it's hard for people to hear, but uh, I mean, that's why I, why why?
Speaker 2:that's exactly what I'm thinking of is like there was a period where I just uh, I sucked um, was not in a good place and was not good for people to be around, and I spent a lot of time by myself and worked on myself and I came out of it and it was different. Well, and I feel like the people who loved you, me included.
Speaker 1:didn't think it was your character, Because that's a lot of times people will ask me about us breaking up when we were younger, and I don't want it to sound like, oh well, his mental health was at a low, so I deuced. It wasn't like that, it's that. Matt's mental health was at a low and he was not pursuing avenues to resolve it and a lot of the responses when brought up to you were kind of externally blaming it on things other than yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just taking it out on other people, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it was just. Like you know, it got to a point that a decision had to be made of, like it's not my responsibility to conform my identity in order to hold up his mental health. Yeah, and I'm big on like you shouldn't have to convince people to care for you.
Speaker 1:You shouldn't have to convince people to love you. You shouldn't have to convince people to treat you how you want to be treated. And so if you're having to come to the drawing board over and over again saying this is what I want, this is what I expect, this is how I want to be treated, totally fine to do that once or twice, stuff's going to happen where you're like oh man, I see what you did there, but that's not what I would want and I appreciate your time and whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's ongoing. That's just part of a relationship back and forth.
Speaker 1:I agree. I just want to be clear that that's not what I mean. Like I don't mean that people need to do everything perfectly from day one, but I am just big about not convincing others of you know To care for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I think a lot of people do that. Yeah, I think that's a lot of relationships. There's just a lot of women I talk to are just begging their partners to act, caring for them in the way that they want, and it's sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a difference between not doing it correctly or not doing it in a way that is most effective and not doing it at all.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And having to be convinced to do it at all, and that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but anyway.
Speaker 2:Did we answer?
Speaker 1:it, we did, we did, we answered it, and then we kind of took a little bit of a pivot. We did our thing. Yeah yeah, we wandered. Um. I'm sorry that you're going through that, though I do want to note that, like, breakups are hard and it is okay that it's hard.
Speaker 2:I don't. All right, are we rapping? Are we going to rap or do we need to go again?
Speaker 1:We're rapping. No, Next week are we going to do all voicemails?
Speaker 2:We could do a lot or not. All voicemails we have a bunch. All emails yeah, we get a lot.
Speaker 1:We're stacked up on emails, so next week we're going to do a whole lot of chit-chatting about things you guys have written in.