Oversharing with the Overbys
Welcome to Oversharing with The Overbys! In this podcast series, Jo and Matt Overby cover a wide variety of topics—from parenting lessons, life stories, to personal relationships. Take an inside look on the lives of Jo and Matt as they navigate the adventures of adulthood and overshare online.
Oversharing with the Overbys
Stroller Bulldogs and AI Insights
Ever wondered how balancing public content creation with personal life shapes one's mental health, especially with the added responsibility of parenthood? Jo opens up about how becoming parents has transformed our perspective on childhood and parental decisions, shedding light on the mental health challenges that come with it. Our chat gets personal as Jo reflects on her critical nature, often fueled by insecurities, before we share a light-hearted moment about a neighbor's bulldog in a stroller.
Relationships aren't always easy, especially when each partner has a unique way of processing stress and support. Join us as we recount our recent trip to Arizona, where family visits, a charming Airbnb, and the oppressive heat brought us closer together and made us reflect on the importance of community support during natural disasters. Drawing parallels with the Joplin tornado disaster of 2011, we discuss the importance of resilience and recovery efforts, inspired by the stories of individuals and organizations that make a difference.
From the evolving role of AI and its impact on privacy to the complexities of transgender athletes in competitive sports, we tackle some of today's most pressing issues. We explore how AI is reshaping the creative industry and discuss the importance of positive self-talk. Wrapping up with fashion trends and the future of our podcast funding, we share our thoughts on maintaining relationship priorities amidst the chaos of parenting. It's a heartfelt, insightful, and sometimes humorous episode that promises to leave you with a new perspective.
If you've got a voicemail or want our (likely unqualified) advice on something, hit us up at the Speakpipe link below!
http://www.speakpipe.com/oversharingwiththeoverbys
If you'd like to email us you can reach the pod at oversharing@jojohnsonoverby.com!
And if you want to support the podcast and gain access to all episodes, check out https://www.patreon.com/oversharing!
CONNECT:
TikTok: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Instagram: @jojohnsonoverby / @matt.overby
Website: https://jojohnsonoverby.com/
Watch the Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL29Si0ylWz2qj5t6hYHSCxYkvZCDGejGq
Welcome to Oversharing with Overbees. I'm Jo. And I'm Matt, and each week you can tune in to hear us respond to your voicemails, go in-depth on our lives as content creators and hopefully leave you feeling even better than we found you.
Speaker 2:With that being said, let's get to Oversharing.
Speaker 1:Matt's back on his Sunny D game. Sunny D game strong.
Speaker 2:Sunny D seltzer.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Hard Sunny D those are from our first pack. I'd like to let everybody know They've been in the fridge that long.
Speaker 2:They've been pretty much exclusively drank on this podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we haven't repurchased.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:So, no. We don't want to trick anybody into thinking that that's like.
Speaker 2:All I drink now. Yeah, that would be hilarious if it was, though.
Speaker 1:Daytime, nighttime.
Speaker 2:Only Sunny D seltzer.
Speaker 1:I've replaced my energy drinks with hard seltzer. It kind of works as a stimulant for me, you think Personally, yeah, a lot of you DM'd me and commented on Boji being the sweetest little girl in the episodes on the Patreon this week and today we are actually back for everybody to watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what was that face? Oh, is that a noodle?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Did the kids drop a noodle on the dog?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Ew. Our little mac and cheese pup.
Speaker 1:That is gross.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is gross.
Speaker 1:Not my favorite.
Speaker 2:Thing to find? Well, they hang out underneath the bar stools where the kids eat.
Speaker 1:We've been having a good old time each week over on Patreon. I'm going to remind you guys that episodes are weekly over there Same old schedule every Wednesday, but that we will still be here the first Wednesday of every month, on everywhere. And here we are.
Speaker 2:And here we are.
Speaker 1:And here we are.
Speaker 2:Celebrating Bogey's 10th birthday. We didn't mess it up.
Speaker 1:I was really nervous. Like there's something about this new schedule that is just a little bit hard for me, like trying to be in the mindset of like this one's going to everybody, this one's going to just our like little family yeah, the patreon requires us, like our family, you know, we have to remember it, which is just not.
Speaker 1:We're not at our peak in remembering no, I was actually talking to one of my friends about this recently. As I feel like, since having kids and I really don't think it necessarily has to do with the children themselves or like being a mom to them, as much as it is just like the perspective shift Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Elaborate Right, because not yet.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I'm making sure that I'm making sense of like. There is a difference between like motherhood tasks and interactions with my children, versus the way having children shifts your perspective sure yeah, that makes sense okay. So that perspective shift has been abundantly difficult on my mental health okay like. I feel like it really shifted a lot of views on my childhood. It shifted a lot of views of things that people had told me, like you'll understand when you're a parent or you'll understand when you're older.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and then I became a parent and it became less clear. It came like. No, I think it became crystal clear.
Speaker 1:I think it became crystal clear that I thought choices that were made were really wrong, like I. You know, they tried to use that as a justification and I felt the opposite. Anyway, since having kids those I think that has rocked my mental health so much and it has made showing up online so difficult for me for years now and I feel like I'm kind of on the like other. I'm not entirely over it. That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say it's bold of you to say that you're no, no, no, I don't mean that, but I mean that I'm feeling much more like I can see it starting to be in my rearview mirror but, it was a season of life that feels like it's been year. It not feels like it has been years long. There's been a lot of processing to do yeah do you think that happens to a lot of parents?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I think there's different, different levels. We're fortunate enough that we have our immediate needs met, and so that's where you start to go up that hierarchy of needs and then find out like, yeah, you end up with weird, like uh, I don't know. You just end up deep in your thoughts sometimes when you aren't struggling to figure out what to eat and where well, and I a anybody that's listened to the podcast knows this I am a thinker.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I ask questions and I want to really dive into all kinds of things Like I want to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Don't, I know, it, don't I know it Actually Becca.
Speaker 1:who we talk about on here a lot, because she edits our podcast Is that Mark, our neighbor, is currently walking by our house with his bulldog in a stroller yeah, the guy did a workout class with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he has a English bulldog yeah the big one yeah yeah, he's got a legit dog.
Speaker 1:Stroller looks fancy yeah, I mean, it's not a small dog. It's probably what a 70, 80 pound dog I think they're like 50, but it's all like in one small package. It's a little tank of a, but anyway, it just made me giggle Cause I saw somebody walking down.
Speaker 2:There he was, there's Mark.
Speaker 1:That's really funny. Um no, no, I was actually just talking to becca. We hadn't talked in a little while and we're chatting and I ended up in this big conversation with her about how I was being overly critical of somebody and like a choice that they made, but it really had nothing to do with them. It was because I felt like I was left out, which wasn't their fault in any way. It was a sore spot of mine and I was going in-depth about all of it and I told Becca I was like is this why you called me to have me just? And she was really nice to me and told me yeah, I actually like that. We never small talk. She said you don't small talk for more than three and a half seconds no, it's not a strength of yours.
Speaker 1:I really am bad yeah, but. I like to get people going. I mean the problem.
Speaker 2:The problem not the problem, but the reality of becoming a parent is that it makes you. It gives you a clearer perspective on what it means to be a parent, and if you disagree with some of the decisions or how like things came together when you were a child, that can make things more clear. And sometimes that's not always positive. Sometimes it hurts more to be like oh, this is more of a choice than I thought it was this wasn't totally out of the control of the people that said it was out of their control.
Speaker 1:I think there were a lot of things that were voiced to me as not optional. What's that word?
Speaker 2:Mandatory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you. There were a lot of things that were voiced to me growing up that were voiced as mandatory. And then I got to adulthood and I found out a lot of those things that were voiced as mandatory. And then I got to adulthood and I found out a lot of those things that were mandatory were not so mandatory, and then, as I had kids, it made it even clearer how much of it was not that way and I think that frustrated me because I felt like I wasn't given like an honest view of things, even if, like I wish that it would have been voiced to me of like it's mandatory for me to feel good, like I think there are things that you have to do for your mental health or things that I have to do for my mental health, I have to do for my mental health. But I almost wish some of that stuff had been worded to me of like that is the regimen I've found to work for me.
Speaker 2:This is how things need to operate for me to be okay, for things to operate okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:For me to operate.
Speaker 1:And as you get older, you may find that it's different for you, or the same? Either way is okay. Yeah, for sure. Obviously, that like takes a lot of awareness to like.
Speaker 2:I don't think we're all there, yeah, and I think there's a totally different like relationship with mental health and yeah when our parents were parents and our parents to small kids and you know, teenagers and whatnot, and even more so than when their parents were doing the same thing. But it it does some things become more clear in a positive light and some things become more clear in a less positive light.
Speaker 1:And there's both. Yeah, for sure, there's a lot of both.
Speaker 2:I've had things I've realized and I'm like, oh wow, things that I thought my parents just didn't notice. They were making intentional choices to give me space. Yeah, Do things like that. And so there's, there's really it's. It's an interesting path to follow down. The other thing we've we've dealt a lot with and we do this a lot in a relationship is treating each other with the coping mechanisms or the treating each other how we would like to be treated in the moment for our situations.
Speaker 2:Like I like space, I want somebody to let me process internally, not put pressure on me, in a situation it's not even always the most productive. But that is my gut is to be like okay, hey, I need to back off and make sure that I'm like, really reasoning this out yeah that just looks like you're just running away, and then that kind of can be with you. For sure. It absolutely can be. That's the hard part I have with you. It can be a way to avoid.
Speaker 1:It's I don't know how long to let you avoid something reasonably? Yeah, Because often I feel like then, when it becomes too much of a problem, you're like well, why didn't you snap me out of it? I'm like why?
Speaker 2:didn't you know it was too much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's hard for me.
Speaker 2:Um understandably.
Speaker 1:I feel like I correct me. I could be super wrong, but I feel like I've gotten a lot better at being aware of that and creating space for you.
Speaker 2:Without a doubt, it's just the gut instinct, is like if I have an issue you want to come to me and be like hey, let's talk this out, let's really I want to get up in your face. Yeah, hey, I'd rather not. I'm like, do you need a hug? And you're like, please do not touch me. I'm not that like. The funny thing is I'm not that anti-contact, but I do process internally.
Speaker 1:It's also not like your first instinct that you want to hug, Whereas like if I'm like all. I want, I'm like can somebody just give me a hug and rub my back, please, like tell me it's going to be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so your, your instinct is to get into it. My instinct is to be like okay, give them space, let them process. And you're like hey, I don't want you to do that, I need you to talk to me.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, no, I want to write out every number, every detail, every thought, every future plan. I want to make a five-year plan a five-month plan, a 15-year plan. Like when I'm stressed, having not even if I'm like, it doesn't necessarily even mean I'm going to follow it. It's just knowing, creating a path and knowing I could take it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's comforting to me.
Speaker 2:That may or may not shut me down.
Speaker 1:If I'm really in a a moment, I don't get that, because I would just continue to panic in your method well, maybe I just want to panic internally I don't want to panic at all no, I mean I'm not very panicky, but you, you process.
Speaker 2:The biggest thing is you process externally. I process internally, for sure, like I. I run this scenario through my head. You need to run it out of your mouth. Panicky, but you, you process. The biggest thing is you process externally.
Speaker 1:I process internally, for sure, like I.
Speaker 2:I run this scenario through my head.
Speaker 1:You need to run it out of your mouth. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Or write it down yeah, yeah, I agree. And so, as I'm trying to think through the situation in my head, you're like, hey words, talk to me, say it out loud. And I'm like I can't do that. That's not how it works for me.
Speaker 1:And vice versa. You're like keep it in your head, I don't want you to talk to me. And I'm like okay, no, it's more like hey.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give you the space to really think it out and you're like, hey, no, I need you to be right here and talking to me about it, and that's where we get into.
Speaker 1:I kind of easy, even though my gut reaction is to like talk something out. If you're not somebody that talks something out, I know what you need is just space, which is just silence, like that's, not like something you have to practice and learn.
Speaker 2:How good are you at silence?
Speaker 1:It's hard for me, but I can go away.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Do you know what I mean? Like if you're in a spot where you're struggling, I can put the kids in the car and I'm like we're going to the library, Enjoy the empty house for a couple hours.
Speaker 2:Fair enough.
Speaker 1:Like, even though I'm not good at it, like I'm not, I can remove myself, whereas the hard part I feel like for you is like I process aloud and you don't know necessarily how to do that.
Speaker 2:No, I then have to process internally and then work it out out loud with you as well, which is like almost impossible, like let me take a second, think about what you said, then think about what to say back and you're like, hey, you're not talking during this whole deal.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like I got the easy end. I think you're like hey, you're not talking during this whole deal. Like I feel like I got the easy end.
Speaker 2:I think you're easier to support than I am in that regard.
Speaker 1:That's what.
Speaker 2:I mean. So that's the lose-lose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I mean, I guess it is a win for me in that like I'm not having to work as hard to learn how to support you, sure, I get better support than you do. But not because I'm a better supporter than you.
Speaker 2:You're also a better supporter than me.
Speaker 1:I don't know about that. I don't know if I agree with that.
Speaker 2:I think I do.
Speaker 1:I feel like you really undermine yourself on that. I feel like you are actually very, very good.
Speaker 2:That's kind of my brand is undermining myself.
Speaker 1:You're so task oriented, though, which is something I really value. We were interrupted by a very cute ghost, but I I think you're so task oriented, and I love acts of service when I'm stressed like that's the best way to lower my stress level and I feel like you nailed that. I am good at exiting and giving you the space you need. I don't have any skills in terms of lowering your stress level. That's why I feel like I'm going to lose lose a little bit.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like I can't help you. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, the biggest problem is my. My stuff is so internally focused, Like I don't receive affirmation. Well, because if I don't, if it doesn't resonate with me personally, like if I don't believe that affirmation, it it rings very hollow to me. And so when you have forced yourself to be your own compass and your own support system, it means your external support doesn't work very well.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Even if it's being done really well, right, like you can being done really well, right. Like you can say all the right things and do all the right things, and if I don't rationalize it right in my own mind, Totally. It just doesn't work the way it should.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you got screwed.
Speaker 1:That's not really what I mean. I just want to be able to be more supportive totally fair and I don't feel like I nailed that and I don't feel like I felt like over time I would learn and get better at it and I I don't think that's the case yeah, I you've definitely improved.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's any okay, gold star, gold star. I think we've both gotten better at it. What was that?
Speaker 1:I was stamping myself with a gold star.
Speaker 2:It's a stamp. Yeah, head stamp. Stamp I don't know why.
Speaker 1:I went with my.
Speaker 2:No, I like it.
Speaker 1:I feel like you're making fun of me. Anyway, do you want to go ahead and dive right in? What was our week like?
Speaker 2:Our week we went to Arizona.
Speaker 1:Yes, we did.
Speaker 2:Went and saw some family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:Just hung out with my cousin and his wife. Yeah, we had an Airbnb out there. That was gorgeous.
Speaker 1:Sick. I need to share it on my Instagram stories. I'll do that tomorrow when this episode launches. It is called the Santos House and it is in Mesa and it's available on Airbnb and it was perfect, I feel like for a family vacation, like if you're going with kids. They have the perfect kids room with bunk beds. It accommodates adults really well. It has an awesome pool. We had so much fun. Yeah, or at least I did we didn't do anything crazy, we laid pretty low and visited family really we didn't do anything crazy.
Speaker 2:No, we laid pretty low.
Speaker 1:And visited family.
Speaker 2:really that was the main goal was to see Visited my grandparents, saw my aunt and my uncle.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And just chilled. Did a couple fun things in Arizona, but in general just hung out and took it all in. It was 114 on Saturday. So yeah, it was 114 on Saturday so it was hot. Yeah, unfortunately, it was just as it was cooling off at home, so we left home for right when the weather was getting nice for really hot weather.
Speaker 1:And I thought the weather was going to feel really hot this week here and it doesn't. It's been very nice. No, it's been in the 80s, but it's been a nice 80s.
Speaker 2:It's still better than 110.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I know it's a dry heat which it just kind of feels like you're hot by the oven, not hot and sweaty necessarily.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it feels more dangerous.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:I was telling somebody today that I was like when I was out there at 115 degrees it feels like you shouldn't be out there.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what I was talking to Matt's cousin while we were out there, about how, when I'm in Arizona, I don't think I could live there because I feel like a little bit of a prepper, like a end of the world prepper.
Speaker 2:You get scared about water, yeah it makes me very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:That's bad like a end of the world. Prepper, you get scared about water. Yeah, it makes me very uncomfortable because I think about, like the natural disaster that happened this week and has taken out like North Carolina, which I guess to have it flood and take out a city like that probably isn't going to happen.
Speaker 1:Literally the exact opposite problem, but yes, but like whatever kind of natural disaster comes and takes out the town, what do people do? Because the thing about being in north carolina is everything's destroyed but like well, and I guess the fresh water and stuff is absolutely obliterated by the flooding right now, like everything's dirty, but I saw something today about somebody who is like a stormwater engineer talking about how severe the storms were there.
Speaker 2:And you know there's like 5-year, 10-year, 25, 100-year storms and like these are the. They have tables that say like hey, to design for a 100-year storm, to design for a 1,000-year storm. This is what things need to be sized at. The amount of rain they got there is beyond a 1,000-year storm. It's off the charts for like what they chart. They got like 30 to 45 inches of rain over the course of a few days. They have to go to thousand yard or thousand year, thousand year charts over like for rain over 30 to 45 days before they can get to like this area gets 40 inches of rain. So if they got 40 inches of rain, so if they got 40 inches of rain over like 30 to 45 days, this would happen every thousand years. They got 45 inches of rain, 40 inches of rain in three days. So it's like off. There is no designing for what they've gotten.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, it took out everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the thing is like there's like why aren't things reinforced? Why wasn't it designed Like nobody designs, there is no design for the amount of rain they've gotten.
Speaker 1:Well, that's the thing that.
Speaker 2:It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:Okay, I want to go back to that, but I want to finish my thought about Phoenix really quick. It makes me uncomfortable being in Phoenix, because if a natural disaster happened and you're without power, you're without water, what do you do?
Speaker 2:like you can't power and water yeah I get out of the sun right yeah, but like you know you can't.
Speaker 1:There's not a lot of hunting to do there. There's not a lot of and again, I realize this is extreme situations.
Speaker 2:I understand that you have to hunt your neighbors living in and I realize this is extreme situations.
Speaker 1:I understand that you have to hunt your neighbors but, like living in northwest Arkansas, like if we're without water and power, like we have natural resources all around us. It doesn't get as crazy hot.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, there's plenty of water.
Speaker 1:You can garden.
Speaker 2:It's extreme but not unbelievable.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that it wouldn't be hard, Like that's not my. Yeah, but that's not my yeah but like Arizona no chance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not farming a whole lot without a ton of water.
Speaker 1:No, no chance. Anyway, okay, that was all my statement was there, but let's get back to the natural disaster, because I think that's good to talk on. I've seen in a lot of comment sections and I think it's really eye-opening to see how culturally we are speaking to one another online, um, because I have seen a lot of people be like well, why didn't you prepare for this, why didn't you do this, why didn't you do that? And I'm like do you realize? Their entire home was swept away yeah, like did you expect them to up and move the home like.
Speaker 2:I've seen video of of like what's happened to people, uh-huh, and the wall of water that's come at them, and so people were warned like hey, you might get six to ten inches of rain, which is a ton of rain. Yeah, people moved everything up to second stories like like so they were warned, hey, you're gonna get this much rain. They got like triple that amount of rain, like an unbelievable amount of rain. That again was.
Speaker 2:It cannot be designed for that area and when you get that much water it turns into like just a wall. It's, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:I watched a video where people on the porch watching it flood and they started hearing the wall come because they didn't know it was coming, like they had stayed, they hadn't evacuated. And they know the wall's coming and they all start screaming run, run, run and they all run from the porch like through the house, and you watch the wall hit and just decimate their house. Yeah, and they made it out alive, like which is like yeah it's, it's unbelievable and I watched some videos today too, of um people saving people from the floodwaters.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I was bawling my eyes out sitting on the couch just like I mean those oh some of those towns and cities will.
Speaker 2:It will be decades at least if they are ever rebuilt. I know there's a real possibility, they're just not well, I think it would be so difficult to rebuild some of them there was people in the comments of the video that I watched talking about how, how difficult it will be to survey, to even see what land is usable like where it like. What is whose land? Yeah where it, because the the whole, the whole topography of that area has been changed right like there isn't things to anchor off of.
Speaker 2:People are like, well, you can use gps anchors and stuff, but there's people with acres and acres of what was farmland that is now like riverbed because it's just been covered in five feet of rock, like it it's. It's crazy the amount of damage and change it caused, and so they're like that's gonna affect how things are taxed. Well, think about, because, like all of a sudden, like arable farmland is now like riverbed right or like it's. It's just crazy logistically how much damage it'll even do.
Speaker 1:Well, I think about joplin. So we're from springfield, missouri. Joplin, missouri, is about 45 minutes from us and if you are not familiar with what happened in Joplin in May of 2011, there was one of the biggest tornadoes on record ever. Like, at least, to hit a, to hit a city yeah, like it a populated area um, and it was, I mean, a massive tornado. It was what?
Speaker 2:a mile and a half wide yeah, well, I guess they measure tornadoes by the amount of damage. They do, right right and so, but it cut a path a mile and a half wide straight through the city yeah, so it's like I think fact check all of this I think it's technically qualified. It's like an ef6, if that existed. Yeah, it didn't exist, but they were like it was off the charts for e5 just because it directly hit with that much size through a like a populated area.
Speaker 1:And it killed hundreds of people, which was absolutely horrendous and honestly shocking. That it didn't kill more because it took out the hospital it took out, I mean, it was insane. Um, and it was the night of Joplin high school graduation. It was the same year I graduated high school is why I remember it so abundantly clear Um, it was my freshman year of college.
Speaker 1:Because I remember I was at a grad party that night and the storms were coming through and my mom called me and I'll never forget she goes, you need to get in a basement right now. Joplin's gone. That's what she said to me on the phone and I was like um, what? I don't know what you mean by that. You know, um, and I bring that up because that was 13 years ago, and still, when you drive through Joplin, oh yeah, yeah Like it's been over a decade and that is a massively smaller scale in terms of area that it hit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, honestly, it might be even less damage in the area that it hit.
Speaker 1:Oh, for sure, I would say, because the thing about Joplin is you still had the foundations of a lot of those places you still had like yeah. You weren't confused about, like what used to be there, where stuff was yeah, like it took out buildings, don't get me wrong, but it damaged buildings.
Speaker 2:It didn't like or leveled them Right, but still you were like, hey, a building used to be here.
Speaker 1:Right, what you're seeing right now on the East Coast, like you don't. If you didn't live there, you don't even know what was once there.
Speaker 2:No, you would have no way of knowing for most of it. So anyway, I haven't taken in a lot on it, but I've been taking in way too much because I've made.
Speaker 1:I've made donations to a couple of the organizations the Samaritan project, red Cross, some of the people on ground doing work there At Madison Mealy is a influencer online who I've had the privilege of meeting a handful of times. She has our same management team, um, and she actually lives in that north carolina area that has been hit so hard. Um, and she's been sharing all kinds of resources. Um, they moved there and absolutely love that town really fiercely, and so I've watched, been watching everything. So, if you want some good resources, she's been sharing Um and it's obviously actually connected to the people that are experiencing this and, um, anyway, I've been taking it way too much. It's one of those things where I feel like people aren't talking about it enough, um, and it makes me want to take it in more, which is not good for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I, have to find a balance.
Speaker 2:The people that I've seen they're like. I'm surprised it's not being talked about more, like even on the Weather Channel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just kind of like mentioned it my entire, like somebody said, their whole For you page was like something about Beyonce or something today, and I was like what my entire For say or something today, and I was like what my entire for you page is east coast storm damage, everything I was getting some east coast storm damage. I was getting some vp debate oh I, I didn't see a single thing so it's going on tonight oh, okay, I was about to say that yesterday it was not.
Speaker 1:Oh, you told me that, so we're super, super in the know, okay, as you can tell okay, okay, I was like iran.
Speaker 2:I was seeing a little bit of like live stuff about iran uh, firing missiles at israel oh yeah, that was happening. Oh, I don't that's happening like right now, I think I don't have that at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so don't, we won't be included generally, I get things like that yes, yeah, no, it was happening like live.
Speaker 2:I told matt the other day, though my for you page has been kind of leveling out because for a while it was happening like live I told matt the other day, though my for you page has been kind of leveling out, because for a while it was real doomsy oh, which is really. It was a very bleak place.
Speaker 1:I had to stop using it at all because I was like I don't want to make content the like everything is, which I have to because it's like why would I make lifestyle content when life is ending?
Speaker 1:No, literally. And you know what, my friend? I have a dear friend, her name's Bryn. Her husband is Palestinian and grew up in Jordan, and I was talking to them about that because we were talking about everything that's been happening in the world and how bleak, you know, things have felt at times, and Bryn really encouraged me in that way and she was like, yes, but you do what you can and then the best thing you can do is like really enjoy what you're doing and lead a life that you're doing, things that bring you joy, bring others joy, because that can be your impact on the world, while also like taking the time and bringing awareness to that when it's possible, like shutting down and just being sad about like terrible things doesn't do anything, and that was really inside I thought that was really insightful advice and it helped because I'm definitely somebody who is like well, I guess I'll just shut down entirely, and that's not, it doesn't really do anything.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 1:Productive anyway. So anyway, now that we've talked about every bleak, thing on the planet.
Speaker 2:Holy moly. This is a dark podcast. We've really rolled on.
Speaker 1:Reads of the week. Reads of the week yeah, greg's reads Greg week. Yeah, greg's reads Greg's my dad. He's a pretty cool dude. He sends us articles all kinds of them and we like to read the headlines to you guys. Three headlines a week and let you guys decide.
Speaker 2:Well, not y'all.
Speaker 1:We decide I have the hiccups, I'm sorry, everyone yeah, but we rate them on a scale of one to five. How much anxiety the headline gives us, just on headline alone.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, we may or may not read the article.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, here's one. California becomes second state to require parents to save earnings for child influencers.
Speaker 1:Zero out of five. Negative a hundred out of five. That does the opposite of stress me, that relieves stress for me and I hope they do it everywhere yeah, it makes a lot of sense it makes.
Speaker 2:It's the same stuff that they've done for child actors child actors, yeah which it's still pretty like. The requirements are not some monstrous like? Yeah save everything they make it it's like make sure that at least 10% is there. That's so crazy.
Speaker 1:What I will say is everybody I know and have interacted with and gotten to talk to this about in this space, um, who make content that includes their children. Everybody's paying their kids and they pay their kids. They're not taking anything of their kids checks. For the most part, that I the of the of the people I know, um, and that's been comforting, but I also know that, like the people I'm around, doesn't necessarily equate to no it's. I'm sure there are plenty of people who got it for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it gets complicated when it's family, because then what, what percentage do you attribute to the child versus the parents versus, like how all that goes.
Speaker 1:But you know my opinion of it, yeah absolutely, we we my opinion is side of like they're part of it, and yeah, if it involves them, then it's all them. I'm big on that um for sure we don't obviously feature our kids hardly at all um in our content, but for what they they, they very much get paid against her?
Speaker 2:will she really wants to be online?
Speaker 1:She really does she can't comprehend online.
Speaker 2:She can't really count.
Speaker 1:I shouldn't say she wants to be online, she just wants to do what we're doing Like it's not. I don't think it has anything to do with, like going out to anyone. Yeah, she has no understanding of the internet. Um she just likes to make videos and I think that's fine and we let her do that. Yeah, we have fun with it in front of the camera and talk to it yeah she'll just.
Speaker 2:When she runs out of words, she'll start making up words, making up sentences yeah songs he likes to dance yeah, he loves to just stand in front of like a running phone and dance yeah, so they watch everything you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do now yeah, they uh.
Speaker 2:They see what you're doing and they're gonna copy it yeah and that's even if you're doing what we do, which is a little odd sometimes yeah but watching a year and a half year old, do it no, but I think that's huge, and so no anxiety for me on that one.
Speaker 1:I hope that they make that a federal law. I really think it should be, because I don't understand why it would be any different than child entertainers. It is child entertainers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very much so.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, have we done this one? What you need to know about Grok AI and your privacy.
Speaker 1:Five out of five.
Speaker 2:Five out of five.
Speaker 1:What's Grok AI?
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't really know. I haven't read the article. Grok AI.
Speaker 1:I don't think it probably has something to do with our privacy. I don't think I even saw that one.
Speaker 2:Well anyway, xai's generative AI tool, grok AI, is unhinged.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I mean, now that I've read the secondary headline, I guess, yeah, like a four out of five.
Speaker 1:No, AI keeps me up at night. It really freaks me out and my voice and my likeness is so on the internet Like people are going to have no problem.
Speaker 2:Training an AI tool to be Joe Johnson, yeah, no, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is fine Like it is. What it is at this point is kind of where I am with it. But yeah. Terrifying, but I feel so bad for, like actors and actresses who have this craft that they love, Like they haven't shared themselves personally the way that we have chosen to. Yeah, no, and the way that, like I just think it's so.
Speaker 2:I'm sure half the user agreements you sign when you have to use the apps are like well, we own everything you've ever made and ever done.
Speaker 1:I know and I almost never. I mean, I have social apps obviously, yeah, but I really don't do any of the ai trends and things that come and go that are hilarious yeah, yeah, they do look fun, many of them.
Speaker 1:It scares the ever-loving bejesus out of me and I also don't like that. It's such a fine line of like making sure AI doesn't learn from stolen. You know what I mean, like people having the rights to let the AI learn from things Like I don't know. I'm worried about what it's going to do for creatives, et cetera. It just it's going to do for creatives, etc. It just it's scary. Anyway, you may continue.
Speaker 2:I was just looking to see if there's anything we hadn't covered too much. He's been. He's been on a reduced news reduced sharing.
Speaker 1:I bet I have one, because it doesn't all come to yeah these all go to different little Matt doesn't get all of them, I get like two out of four. Yeah, some of them just come to the sisters, you know.
Speaker 2:You probably get ones just to yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the one word therapists say you need to stop using with yourself.
Speaker 2:It's like a two out of five for me, but I'm going to guess it hits close to home. What's the word? Should, should, mm-hmm? Oh, like I should do this.
Speaker 1:I should really spend time cleaning. I should just get over this already. I should work on my presentation. I shouldn't eat that cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I should stop using that.
Speaker 1:I think that you're. I think think that is very. You should read that article.
Speaker 2:I should forward it to you I heard the word I'm not supposed to use um I shouldn't use it.
Speaker 1:That's correct no, but I I think the article. I read this when dad sent it and I do think that it has some good insight as to why and how damaging it is to your overall like view of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it just I mean, it prejudges.
Speaker 1:I have positive self-talk.
Speaker 2:That's great. That must be nice.
Speaker 1:I don't say that in that way. Like I say it because that's something I didn't realize about myself until I got to know you. No, I'm so serious, like I didn't think about it until even more recently. I've thought about it even more because you really will say things to me and I'm like oh my God, I just thought everything was fine, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I, I do, I think a lot of it is I like, I'm like don't go there with yourself, don't stress yourself out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fair enough.
Speaker 1:I don't know anyway. Word of the week.
Speaker 2:Word of the week, familiar with the word indolent, indolent, indolent.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's not a person. No, it's not to describe a person. Well, it's not a person. No, it's not to describe a person.
Speaker 2:Well, it could describe a person I-N-D-O-L-E-N-T.
Speaker 1:Okay, what word am I thinking of?
Speaker 2:I don't know Indigent.
Speaker 1:No, okay, tell me what it means.
Speaker 2:Having or showing a disposition to avoid exertion Slothful.
Speaker 1:No, what was last week's word?
Speaker 2:I couldn't tell you.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 2:Because I don't remember these things.
Speaker 1:Yes, you do, I don't know. Reach in there.
Speaker 2:It's not flump, right no?
Speaker 1:I liked flump.
Speaker 2:That's goody. Was that last week? No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Okay, I liked flump um, was that last week?
Speaker 1:no, I don't think so. Oh okay, I don't know that one should write these things down.
Speaker 1:I don't like that one indolent indolent, indolent I don't like that yeah I'm not gonna use that I wanted to use last very nice I remember really liking last weeks and feeling like I would use it. Oh oh. I on weekend chat said that somebody asked like what's our silliest fight? And I said we really don't fight about much but probably like the silliest thing I could say is that we get into fights over words because you like, really like, language specificity. And I said I have the vocabulary of a house cat.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And somebody DM'd me and was like I hate hearing you say this about yourself because I think of you as so well spoken, and I responded I said I didn't say I wasn't well spoken. Like I use the words that I have very well, yeah, I just don't have that many.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not rostering a deep vocabulary right. Like I don't think that's an insult, I mean you know plenty of words, you know enough. It's not like you lack words to use.
Speaker 1:I speak English.
Speaker 2:You're just dealing with a handful of people that know too many words.
Speaker 1:Really you guys, that specificity is like Like aggressively too many words. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because anytime you find a word that just perfectly encapsulates an idea, you just hold on to it.
Speaker 1:Well, and you often use words that I use and hear and know, but then when you use them, I'm like I'm going to need you to define that, because maybe I don't have. I did this to you just the other day and I don't have an example. I wish I remembered what it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should think about this before we record.
Speaker 1:But you said something and I had to ask you what it meant, even though I'd heard it and used it and everything. Because when you used it I realized maybe I wasn't quite like you're, yeah, understanding the definition, your context clue definition maybe didn't capture the whole. And it's not that it's ever way off. Yeah, like I have the general, you know concept you've got a feel for what I was going for. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm a struggle.
Speaker 2:It's fine, it's not. You don't need to know as many words as I've for some reason held on to, which is funny, because I don't even read.
Speaker 1:No, you don't. I don't read or write using a lot of these words. I read a lot, but I don't read anything. That's expanding my vocabulary. I don't think I mean. That's not true. I read like high fantasy.
Speaker 2:You're learning words that have been made up.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm like that doesn't expand my vocabulary in any productive way. I don't know why don't you hop on email? And let's hit some emails before we wrap up this popsicle stand Great.
Speaker 2:let's see if people have emailed us.
Speaker 1:I love that Boji sits with me while we record now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she is just right there, very chill.
Speaker 1:Her birthday was last week. She has been with us for a decade, A whole decade, Our sweet, sweet girl. Somebody emailed us. They gave us a lot of context about their relationship.
Speaker 2:That's not necessarily um they said some nice stuff about us.
Speaker 1:They said some nice stuff about us and but I want to give you guys the context of the email, because they listened to our sex and intimacy episodes, Um, and the question is kind of in that vein and they want to know what are other ways we make our relationship and ourself a priority within our relationship. They also said PS would love another sex and intimacy series. It was so great to hear about another woman with a high sex drive without feeling like society thinks you're a slut. I mean society does.
Speaker 2:We don't speak for society as a whole, but we don't. I was about to say I do think society thinks you're a slut. I mean society does. We don't speak for society as a whole, but we don't.
Speaker 1:I was about to say I do think society thinks that but like it's fine, Society's wrong about a lot of stuff. Yeah, and also like I just don't really care what society thinks of me. Um, what things do we do for our relationship? I think that we have intentional time set aside. Honestly, I think we're actually not in a good season for this. I think, this could be a good conversation of like things we should reestablish.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:Because I think Matt and I have been in a season, the last couple months, where we have been a little in survival mode, wouldn't you say.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we've been really pushing. A big thing to us is trying to make sure that we're still, even if we're not doing work well, even if we're not doing everything, we're trying to be stable parents. That's our number one priority and we don't have the most stable household just in terms of like schedule and routine, and so it's really important that we try and even when everything's falling apart, to try and show up and be like okay, okay, let's not be really absentee parents.
Speaker 2:We probably sound so crazy to people listening yeah like to have two parents that are at home yeah, yeah, like I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't understand it. This is something that really frustrates me about us. It's like why are we like that?
Speaker 2:why does it? Yeah, yes, it is not a, it's just. That is, I think, our foremost priority, and we have a little bit of a self-talk, negative routine going right now, but we've we've had a lot.
Speaker 2:We've been trying to show up more and more consistently and just like it has not worked out the way we wanted to, just because life is complicated not worked out the way we wanted to, just because life is complicated and we have a lot of moving parts, yeah, like weird moving parts that don't make sense and like aren't necessarily worth sharing on their own to the internet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, and it's not anyway. Yeah, I just struggle sometime when we talk about it, because I'm like I feel like without context, this just sounds so silly yeah, it does sound like people complaining about nothing. Right, it's not a complaint.
Speaker 2:It's just, that's how we.
Speaker 1:Genuinely, it's not. It's like we just need to get it together. No, it's something we need to handle. It's not. We don't want pity or anything for it.
Speaker 2:No, Sometimes people really have a lot of questions about like well, why this and why that? And you're like health, so well, and we just have a yeah, it's just moving pieces out of our control that aren't worth sharing to the world. Yes, so what are ways we make our relationship and ourselves a priority in the past things we've done.
Speaker 1:We have done that weekly meeting. I think that was really good when we established that. Um, I think something we've talked about doing that we have not done a good job establishing is starting our work day together when we have childcare, by going on a long walk or going to the gym together. If we're at the gym, like being on a treadmill or walking the track and doing something active while we talk through our day with no phones, I think having dedicated time with no phones, like for us us and I know I bring this up a ton, but like we shower together at night and that is our always no phone for sure like we are talking to each other time and it's not like a sexy thing, it is just kind of intimacy and like a very normal like tell me about your day kind of conversation yeah and I also think that's good for our relationship with our own bodies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably I think about that a lot because people ask me questions about that and why it's not like a sexy thing and I'm like. I don't think that you and I associate um sex and physical intimacy with nakedness yeah, probably not in.
Speaker 2:Uh, definitely not in the most standard no american understanding of it at least yeah, yeah, which I like.
Speaker 1:I think that's really healthy for us. Anyway, what other things do you think?
Speaker 2:What else do we do? Yeah, I mean, it definitely is not our strongest season for this. You get caught up in parenting and life and with little kids, it's hard.
Speaker 1:Uh, I would say individually, I have made it a priority to keep going to my nail appointments, like that's something I do for myself.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't go every two weeks Like that's something I do for myself.
Speaker 1:I don't go every two weeks like I once did. Now it's like more like once a month or every three. Normally it's once a month, but kind of keeping those outstanding appointments to myself, whatever they may be scrapbooking night or setting aside a day that like I'm doing all of my plant care and sticking to it. I think that's how I really focus on taking care of myself. It's like fulfilling what I tell myself I'm going to do for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean keeping promises to yourself, I think is a good thing there's a lot of things that I need to work on in that capacity is a good thing. There's a lot of things that I need to work on in that capacity. But I think good advice for any time that there is struggles with these kinds of things and is is try and set a schedule If. If things aren't happening naturally on their own, scheduling them is not a flaw, right, it's a really great tool to use to build routine and to build normalcy to something that you've gotten out of the habit of.
Speaker 2:And so trying to keep a schedule, really hold yourself to it, forecast it out so that everybody's on the same page, the more you can do that kind of thing, as unintuitive and as non-organic as that feels like it can feel very like forced and robotic. But even forced and robotic is better than not at all. I agree. And that really helps start the ball rolling.
Speaker 1:I completely agree. That's one of those things that if you guys would like to see another sex and intimacy episode or content around that, and you have a kind of a vision of what you'd like to see or what kind of things you'd like to see answered, please feel free to send me a DM or email us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Another email.
Speaker 2:This one's from back in the Olympic times, but With the Olympics being in full force, what's your thoughts on biological males competing against biological females? I know Jo has a background in swimming and I'm curious how she would feel training her whole life to compete against a biological male. Should and I'm curious how she would feel training her whole life to compete against a biological male? Should there be different categories in future Olympics in order to accommodate the new landscape of gender identity.
Speaker 1:I feel like people are making this into way more big of a deal than it is.
Speaker 1:That's kind of my hot take is like I just don't think it's as much of an issue as people think. It is Like I don't know. Like watching the Olympics and seeing everything that was said about the boxer from do you remember where she was from I don't remember Only to come to find out that, like with any critical thinking, she lives in a country where being trans is illegal, like, and that it is 100 a woman. And then people were arguing that they shouldn't, like women with higher levels of testosterone shouldn't be allowed to compete. And then I'm like okay, but why did you think Michael Phelps was so good at swimming? Well, because his body is shaped in a completely inhuman way. He looks bananas.
Speaker 2:Genetically primed yeah.
Speaker 1:His arms are like. His wingspan is insane. Compared to his height, it's bananas.
Speaker 2:Outsized wingspan insane compared to his height. It's bananas Outsized wingspan and so many athletes.
Speaker 1:The reason some athletes absolutely dominate at certain sports is because of those.
Speaker 2:Genetic Right.
Speaker 1:And I understand what people are getting on about. But I kind of feel the same way about this as I do about like well, men are going to dress up as women and go into the women's bathroom and I'm like, okay, then that's an issue with straight men, Like that has nothing Right. But like right, I didn't mean to address that to an entire group of people?
Speaker 2:No, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I apologize. That is a very fair point, but like that is a issue of like a man doing something illegal, not. It has nothing to do with what we're, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there is an argument, definitely, that all of these sports have governing bodies.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That they can legislate on a case by case basis and that's If, when it happens, kind of how I feel about it and if it becomes pervasive in the sport then you have to address it unilaterally. But I think on a case-by-case basis is appropriate when it is such a small sample of events.
Speaker 1:That's what I like and I've heard a lot of people be like. Well, men are going to start saying X, y, z so that they can win at women, and I'm like people don't choose a path that is as difficult as it is to openly come out as a trans individual to win a sport no, that would be, pretty extreme you just don't and if that person has an unhealthy relationship with winning and a lot of other things for that matter and it.
Speaker 1:it's going to experience like I don't know. I just really I don't think it's worth the amount of conversation we're having about it. I just don't. I think, culturally we are having way too many conversations attempting to make things divisive when it comes to allowing people to express themselves how they want to. And I kind of agree with you of like take it on a case by case basis. If we treated all people with love and fairness and kindness when it came to choosing that on a case by case basis, maybe it would be a more acceptable answer, because it's not somebody who's constantly been discriminated against their whole life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what if somebody comes in and they aren't dominating?
Speaker 1:Right. Like like they just want to be a part of the team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that. It's interesting. I I don't know, it's also something that is not terribly common. No.
Speaker 2:As much as any news outlet wants to say it is.
Speaker 1:And I think that's where I really struggle with it. I think there are so many bigger fish to fry. Like the maternal death rate in our country is rising at a rapid rate, why are we not talking we're talking about? I don't know, I just but what if?
Speaker 2:what if somebody wants to compete in a sport that they're not biologically born into?
Speaker 1:joe right, let's talk about that and I'm not saying that it's not real and like as somebody who was an athlete, and a very competitive athlete, I don't know within re I. The problem is I am not, you didn't love, I just don't know. The problem is I am not.
Speaker 2:You didn't love, I just don't. You didn't hate losing or love winning that much yeah. I just don't care that much you liked being on a team and you liked swimming.
Speaker 1:If I was against somebody that had biologically been born male, had transitioned whatever, and I don't know proper terminology.
Speaker 2:No so.
Speaker 1:I apologize if I'm like way off base Same and I'm competing against her in the 100 butterfly finals and she gets first and I get second. I don't know if I could be bothered because I look, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that that's up to a governing body, not me Well, and that's where, if you are really bothered by it and it's something that you feel is unfair there were plenty of boys.
Speaker 1:I was better than at swimming, sure, but if it's something you feel is, unfair.
Speaker 2:That's where you take it to the governing body of the sport. And you talk about it, yeah, and you say hey, and then it gets extra complicated and we don't have the answers for it and we aren't experts.
Speaker 1:I hear people like I understand what they're saying, but I think it's a case-by-case um basis. I don't think it deserves the kind of outrage people are impacting it with. And I think if people would take that kind of outrage and put it toward things that actually impact a wide swath of our population and actually put that kind of you know, rage into things that actually make an impact, Like to me, you're just being hateful to us, not you. I'm not talking to anybody specifically, but like I think it's just putting a lot of hatred toward a very small group of individuals who already have walked a really hard path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's more of a thought experiment than it is a real issue that's ongoing, and if it becomes a real issue, then it can be addressed as a real issue.
Speaker 1:By people who are qualified to make those decisions For sure. I don't think that it is my place.
Speaker 1:No To make that decision? No, I have no, and if, for some reason, I'm being put in a place that I need to learn about it and advocate for someone in that situation, then I will. Yeah, spoken to a lot of my friends who were collegiate athletes and things, um, and everybody across the board has kind of been like let people be who they are, like nobody, but that's because I hang around a lot of like-minded people too, so yeah, it's just there's very much a let's see if it's a problem first.
Speaker 2:It'd be like prepping severely for an alien invasion Right Not impossible.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:This is more likely than that, but still, you're talking about an individual that is so driven to win that they alter their entire life and identity just to compete. It's a funny movie premise that's been done a few times. But the person like the psychology of the person who is motivated to do that and follow through on that, I don't know that. That's a broad psychology that's out there.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:Like it takes some pretty extreme choices and lifestyle commitments to.
Speaker 1:Well, and I just think that's something that a lot of people are hyper focused on, and I think that it is based in hatred for sure I just do um fear at the very least for sure, and I think we have a lot bigger issues I wish people would be focused on for sure, especially with our kids like I. Why are we debating about that when there's still no common sense gun law in our country?
Speaker 1:our kids can't go to school safely and you're worried about whether they're going to get first or second place. How about if they're going to make it to the competition or not? There's definitely a lot more school shootings than like transgender individuals dominating sport. And I'm not saying both problems can't exist. I don't even like I'm not saying they both can't exist, I just no one exists. Right and I know that it's not getting talked about or resolved the way that I know people are talking about it, but For sure Anyway.
Speaker 2:We got deep here matthew and jordan I was wondering if you had any advice for long 10 plus hour road trips okay it'll just be my boyfriend and I. Additional question is do you think podcast listening could be a communal activity? What if the other person loves to talk about the podcast points during the podcast and the other just likes to listen and finish the episode in peace? That sounds specific. Okay, wishing you the best and all your family's the best we do podcast episodes yeah um, and we talk about them.
Speaker 1:Well, not a lot there's a few like, well, if we something, something's really funny or really want to discuss something, we'll pause the podcast. And, yeah, discuss, but we don't necessarily. It's not like stop and go.
Speaker 2:No no.
Speaker 1:We've listened to books. Yeah, books really work you and I love to talk, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if we're both in the mood to talk, car's a great space to talk because.
Speaker 1:You don't get distracted and I don't get distracted.
Speaker 2:No, like I have something physically to do, to like, whereas I would normally need to like fidget or something to to physically concentrate more yeah driving like I have a focus, I have a task that I know I'm supposed to be doing and so on the side I can just stream of consciousness like have you're a much better talker.
Speaker 1:They don't have to force eye contact with. Yeah, we do not. A strength of mine, we talk a lot in the car, um, but sometimes you listen to your own podcast and I'll read a book yeah, we're not.
Speaker 2:Some of it is just we're okay with doing different things during the drive. We will listen to a podcast together if it's either humorous or something that we have an interest in, or just kind of we've done some learning ones too yeah, just a general topic we do fantasy football podcasts even together sometimes you don't normally listen to, but the ones I listen to you've, I don't mind to pop in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything you listen to, I I think your humor really appeals to me and so generally, things that you think are funny, I also think are I mostly listen to podcasts that, even if they are about something I'm interested in, are humorous yeah so they aren't abrasive to listen to or like really boring to listen to. I loved long road trips, even with kids. I still really actually enjoy long road trips, but pre-kids with just us, we would hit the road any day, any time.
Speaker 2:Under 10 hours was no problem.
Speaker 1:No problem, and we even did plus 10 hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did 16, 18 hours a couple times Quite a bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think you have to do a lot to prepare. Download a couple podcasts, yeah.
Speaker 2:We tried new podcasts together once in a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I say, let the vibe be the vibe Like if you're not enjoying it. What I would say is have an individual task, maybe have some individual podcasts you want to listen to, and then have a few things you want to try together and then feel out the vibes. If doing stuff together isn't going well, split to doing separate tasks and try again after lunch or whatever it is, I don't know. I think that that's something we've never really had to think about, though.
Speaker 2:No, especially since I like processing in my own head.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like you do your own thing. I'm going to try and do what works for me, but if you're not available, I will occupy no problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like to read. Yeah, like I love long road trips because I can knock out some books, but we like to chit chat too, so what?
Speaker 2:I just read the next question. Okay, last question for today. Last question. This question is for Matt. You talked about updating your wardrobe. Any advice for a 30 year old from the four-state area, living in the mountains of North Carolina, who is stuck in a skater athletic style? Dressing as a dude is hard. I, I'm outdoorsy, active, still skate a bit, and my mom says I'm handsome.
Speaker 1:I hope you're okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:We're thinking of you. I hope that you hear this and I hope that you're okay. Yep, I'm going to start with that because as soon as. I said that as soon as they said location, I was like oh no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so maybe wardrobe isn't your biggest priority right now. This is email from Phoenix.
Speaker 1:Might be having to start from scratch, though.
Speaker 2:That is true, man. What do I mean by updating my wardrobe Some of it is like, as I've worked out less and my body's changed is just making sure that I have clothes that fit in all seasons of like. Maybe I'm not in my peak, uh, physical condition, but having clothes that fit make a way bigger difference than trying to fit into clothes that don't um clothes are meant to fit you.
Speaker 2:You're not meant to fit clothes that's a phrase I'm trying to adapt, that I'm not great at um updating my wardrobe in general, just trying to stay fairly current, not not trying to dress like I'm a child but embracing like more modern silhouettes, like if you skate, I would assume, the loose, the looser pants, the bigger, oversized look.
Speaker 1:And I feel like that's in.
Speaker 2:Works great with that aesthetic.
Speaker 1:I think it's regularly in a regular interval, oh my goodness, in regular intervals, replacing your t-shirts and stuff so that they don't get so worn Like, you can hold onto them and wear them for activities that you're going to be getting, like messier dirtier, where you might ruin something, yeah, where they're just not a priority. But making sure to have like crisp and better kept things to wear to like social gatherings and things like that I think makes a big difference too.
Speaker 2:The biggest place which, it's funny, you said shirts the biggest place I think that is the hardest but makes the most impact in terms of your general wardrobe is working out pants that are more on trend.
Speaker 2:And so that's like in this season. It's definitely not skinnier jeans, it's more of a straight or a loose fit, which for somebody that has large legs is not easy to do. But I've found some pants that really work with it and once you have it like, you can style all kinds of tops and different. But if you can get pants that really fit you, that's the biggest priority.
Speaker 2:priority, I think, is pants that fit you and look good if you're not trying to stay trendy, then just stuff that fits good and is neutral, like neutral straight leg, not, not wide, not skinny. Just find some pants that that fit. Like a bigger legged person I've had luck with some of it is just acknowledging that I need to go a higher waist size. Yeah Than like my true waist and being like, okay, I'm going to belt these down or they're going to fit, and I'm not used to pants fitting. Yeah, there's, there's a reality of like I wore pants that didn't fit because I didn't know what, like how to have pants fit Right and so but Like how to have pants fit Right and so, but I think pants are where you make the most impact in a men's wardrobe.
Speaker 2:It's like if you can have a staple pair of pants or two to style you can, you can wing it from there with what you got shirts wise. I like that, so I don't know if that was good advice. I hope it was.
Speaker 1:Well, on that note, if you want to listen to us, all month we're on the patreon. It's four dollars a month. I know that you guys, some of you dm me and we're like not another paywall and you know what I understand I'm sorry, um, it's just what we found was gonna work for us and yes, uh joking when we said we lose money making the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like a lot, a lot of people dm'd me like why can't you do this and why can't you do that? Not a lot. I shouldn't say that Two people DM'd me and I'm like a lot. I got dozens of DM's from people who were really supportive and kind and the two people that DM'd me were not unkind.
Speaker 1:Like they were just like kind of giving me their input, and I wanted to respond to that by saying that we have lost money doing the podcast for Two years. Two years now. It costs us more than $10,000 a year to put the podcast out, which has been fine. I have not minded doing that because we've loved the community that we've built. We love talking with you guys. Um, it's been a really cool platform to get to chat and I realize other people have way bigger podcasts. We're just not that big of a podcast, guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't promote it, we're um, yeah, it's, it's just us in here. So, um, I completely understand. We're not upset if you choose not to. We totally understand why.
Speaker 2:We're not getting rich off of it, just so you know.
Speaker 1:No, that's not the goal we're probably still not breaking even on it. No, we're not, we're not.
Speaker 2:It feels less wasteful to do it.
Speaker 1:And that was my only goal, and I'll go ahead and say that totally up front here.
Speaker 2:If we're not breaking even it, probably by spring we'll probably retire the podcast take a hiatus for sure yeah, we love it, don't get me wrong like, yeah, it's a, it's a fun way to have conversations, but like, wedging it into our life is tricky. Yeah for something. For something that we lose a fair amount of money on.
Speaker 1:It takes us 10 to 12 hours for every episode we put out of work, which not that that's like a ton, but 10 to 12 hours it's kind of like a hobby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a hobby that, yeah, and there's like, oh well, why don't you advertise? And it's like there are a lot of requirements that come with advertising. There's a lot of. That's still a difficult process, and then it's on somebody to market, promote, reach out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we're just like. It's kind of like we talked about earlier like Matt and I's main focus right now is being really good parents and being present parents and um trying to do the things we're already doing, at least okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:I agree. So anyway, that was probably TMI, but we love you guys. And this was fun and we'll see you next week On Patreon the description has all the links and the stuff and so check all that out. Leave us a voicemail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, voicemails, Texts If you want us to answer those specifically on a Broad episode, Maybe let us know we might double down then. Um, texts if you want us to answer those specifically on a broad episode, maybe let us know we might double down then, just if we don't get enough.
Speaker 1:But um it is what it is.
Speaker 2:So peace out, bye.