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In this episode, we cover:
Here is the link to the other half of this conversation!
Use my code JACY10 to save on your order of Gut Personal Supplements! Visit www.gutpersonal.com and take their online quiz to get personalized recommendations of supplements for your gut health needs! I recommend starting with the Miracle Worker! It is my favorite and will literally TRANSFORM your sleep.
Want to Connect with Audrey Rose?
Listen to Ready to Rise Podcast HERE
IG: @helloaudreyrose
Website: helloaudreyrose.com
Join the Text list by texting “SISTERHOOD” to 707 347 0723
The RISE Sisterhood - weekly calls :) and code “AUDACITY” gets you a month for free.”
https://www.helloaudreyrose.com/offers/XgJCHmHN
And then https://www.helloaudreyrose.com/risetahoe
Coupon “havetheaudacity” saves YOU $275 off the Retreat
Remember that, you are worthy. You have value. You get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convenience you otherwise. If that idea or vision for your life is in you, then it is for you.
Need a Community of Audacious Women to Join:
⚡Join the Have the Audacity: Audacious Human Free Facebook Community:
CLICK THE LINK HERE
⚡Click Here to Access Our Podcast Guest Self Care List:
CLICK THE LINK HERE
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ALL THE DETAILS HERE
⚡ Connect on Instagram:
CLICK THE LINK HERE
Want to Support the Have the Audacity Podcast?
⚡I would love it if you take 30 seconds to leave a 5 star review and a rating sharing why you love this podcast! If you have left a review, please share it with a friend!
Hi and welcome to the have the Audacity podcast, where we are all about living our own version of our best life. My name is Jacey. I'm a multi-passionate human obsessed with personal growth, and I want you to come on this journey with me, where we share our stories and learn tools, tips and tricks to live the life we were always meant to live. So let's lean into the uncomfortable celebrator highs and embrace our lows, because all of it's important. It may get a little messy, but it's time to have the audacity. Hey, audacious Human, I'm so glad that you're here. I am so excited for today's episode. We've never done anything like this on have the Audacity, so I'm very excited for it. What we're doing is this is going to be half of a conversation and the other half is going to be on my friend, audrey Rose, this podcast, ready to Rise, and it is linked in the show notes we recorded. We sat down and we recorded this whole conversation and we decided that we needed to split it up into halves. Part would be on here. I would link her podcast. You can go listen to the rest of the conversation and while this part of the conversation is the second half of the conversation, you really can listen to it. Anyway, they lend themselves to being both separate, but if you want the whole picture and all the juice that we talk about, you're going to want to listen to both episodes. So that is linked in the show notes below. But I am so excited for you to meet my friend, audrey Rose. I met her on IG and we talked about this connected over the last year and then we got to meet in person and hang out at an event I went to in September and it was just really fun and we needed to have this conversation and the things she talks about. There's so much similarities there. So I'm very excited for this and so it really is going to feel like just the three of us sitting and chatting.
Speaker 1:But before we dive in, let me tell you a little bit about her. So Audrey Rose is a motivational speaker and a burnout mentor. She hosts an online community and she hosts the Ready to Rise podcast. She has turned her struggles into creating a why she's obsessed with to wake up, for that's our whole mission is going from struggling and her journey of going from struggling to creating a life that she's obsessed to wake up with every morning, and I know that somebody really can you in particular, can identify with that. We can find ourselves not really excited to get up, and I know I've had seasons like that, and so I think that is something just as humans that you can, we can all identify with. But so she she teaches others to manage the burnout while she's doing the same thing.
Speaker 1:She candidly shows about her journey through depression, burnout and anxiety and create and has created a how, how her journey through this words are hard, how hard you need. Through her depression, her burnout and her anxiety, has created a resulting love for helping others through her mentoring programs. She hosts retreats and she has so many other things and I will link her website. She has a texting community link, for that is in the show notes. It's all there to connect with her more and you're going to want to after you listen to this, and I'm just really excited for this opportunity and for us to come together and have this conversation. So, without further ado, let's dive on into today's episode. Was that my body had formed a habit that when I was stressed, I told my breath Wow, and so and that was triggering a lot of my panic attacks was because I was holding my breath, and I wasn't consciously aware that I was holding my breath. So anytime I'd start to get anxious, I would stop breathing.
Speaker 2:And that makes it way worse.
Speaker 1:Wow, and so I had to spend a lot of time of like when I first started, when I'd start feeling a panic attack coming on would be like, okay, I need to do like just basic box breathing. And I started off super basic and so then I would like every night would do, I've gotten to where I do box breathing for five minutes. Wow, and I was like I just box breathe for five minutes, like nothing fancy, like I just lay in bed with the lines off box for five minutes and it really helps like get back in my nervous system and during the day when I start feeling really stressed, I'm like I need to pause and just like breathe a couple of times. We just need to breathe and get some oxygen moving.
Speaker 2:And like you know how we always hear about that, like when you're anxious or when you're living that fast paced lifestyle, you really keep your breath like in that top part of your lungs very shallow and so really seriously opening up your lungs, just getting that airflow.
Speaker 2:It's so good for your body I had my first, I've always had anxiety and depression, but I don't pretty damn sure that I've never had like a full blown panic attack yet until about a month ago, and I didn't even know. It's just like what people say, you know, when you hear people think they had a heart attack or something that go in and it was a panic attack, it really does feel like so scary, like I didn't realize how bad it was, until I had one and I thought I threw a pulmonary embolism.
Speaker 2:I just was certain. I was so certain. I was like calling my friend, like I can't breathe, I can't breathe, and I knew for sure. And I felt so dizzy and like my body just felt tingly and like not quite numb, but just this weird tingly feeling. And I just remember like I couldn't breathe, my heart was just pounding, couldn't see straight. It was so scary and I call.
Speaker 2:So my sister works in the ER, so I call her and we're talking through it and she starts asking me like stressors, but like in a nice way you know, like oh hey, do you work tomorrow? And I was like yep. And then that was it, right there on the spot. I had been getting trained by somebody who wasn't really very kind to me in this new training and that was literally it. I was so freaked out that I had to go work with this person on top of burnout, on top of everything else, going to work a 12 hour shift with somebody who's being unkind towards me and yeah, full blown crazy. I did call off because I didn't know how to handle it. I had to like call in sick the next day, gosh. But now, yeah, breathing, I'm going to start doing that more. The box breathing, I like that.
Speaker 1:And it's so simple and so basic but so powerful, I mean at my worst, like I've had anxiety my whole life. I don't know life without it. I was diagnosed formally with depression at 20, but I had had it since 16, for sure that I am aware of so exciting depression is very much, and at 30 now I've been dealing with it.
Speaker 1:It's been a journey. It's probably at the best it's ever been. And one thing I've learned is I've learned to make friends with it, which is very and I'm like okay, what are you trying to teach? What am I not paying attention to? What am I not? And like, and that comes from I had, like we're just going to roll transparent. Here was I think it'd been like a year and a half since I'd had a panic attack. I had one yesterday morning before I went to work, oh wow.
Speaker 2:Before work and same day right before.
Speaker 1:It was like right before I went to work and and I really felt it coming on in my mind, really, come on, I get really hot and I start blacking out, okay, and then that triggers it and makes it worse, cause, then I'm like, and I think with you, I'm like, oh yeah, that's horrible. Like I mean, you're a nurse, you have all of this medical stuff in your head and that's what your brain, that's what the anxiety needs in the moment. Like, yeah, of course you think you through, like you're like, yeah, worst case scenario, you're just feeding the monster with all this knowledge. And be like, yeah, this is what it is. So I'm like, oh yeah, that's horrible. And so I mean like I breathed through it and like it was awful. But then I just was like, okay, where is this coming from? I haven't dealt with this forever. But then you know I told you before jumping on that I had a family member in the hospital.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the previous week and I was like no, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was really focused on showing up in that and like that was a lot of stress. And they just come home and it was like my nervous system was coming out of that finder flight mode, for that it was in for a week and like that was the result of it. It was like all this pent up that I hadn't dealt with manifested itself in that way. And so not making that mean anything, because I could have been like, wow, in the failure, I might have had one of these and like I let this happen and instead being like okay, I have the tools to move through this and it lasts as long and to make sure this doesn't become a reoccurring thing, because I used to have two to three a day.
Speaker 2:Isn't that nuts? And you're like how did I ever get through that?
Speaker 1:Like that was just my life. I was like you know, and then not going so long without one, and at first I was panicking. Then I was like, oh my gosh, this is a panic attack. Like I didn't know, I was like I'm dying, something wrong with me. And then he was like, oh no, this is a panic attack, yeah. And then I was like, but also like that was a big thing for me and empowering in it If you do deal with anxiety and depression was making friends with it and in the sense of like I mean, yeah, I'm not going to welcome you with open arms.
Speaker 1:I'm like, yay, I'm glad you're here, but like, okay, what are you trying to tell me? What am I missing? Because most of the time it's like that. Like what am I not dealing with Anxiety normally? Like I feel like it's because you're avoiding something. What am I not? What am I consciously like not trying to face and that I need to deal with? Like you don't get to be in the driver's seat, but like you get to be in the car, yeah.
Speaker 1:And not ignoring it, because I feel like when you ignore it it gets louder, like feelings demand to be felt. So it's like okay, tell me, but like there's times when I have anxiety and I'm like okay, I see what you're saying, but no, we're not going to go there, you're not driving the car. I'm driving the car Like you could have your say, but like I'm in charge, because I feel like when life gets haywire is when you let it drive the car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's so easy for that to happen when you don't have those tools yet, which is why we're here talking about that and sharing those tools and doing all of those things, Cause I remember times where my anxiety like I was not having the panic attacks like that, but I remember times where my anxiety would be like through the roof and I had no idea what to do, no idea. And it's like I think back to that, like younger version of myself, and I feel so bad because she didn't have any of these tools to deal with it. And so I mean I love that you mentioned that. You know that now yesterday, you see, with yourself, you were able to work through it, breathe through it, but that can be God. That could be just the scariest thing. What you said about making friends with it is super powerful as well, Because I love to share the fact that I know that these aren't going to go away.
Speaker 2:I used to kind of say that, like with my podcast, cause this is what started. My podcast was talking about how I learned the tools to heal from anxiety and depression, and then it was like I was like why are you saying that, Audrey? Like what are you saying you don't heal from anxiety and depression. You can't, but we can learn how to like, become better friends with it, but it's something we're always going to have. It's just. This is all our body tells us when something's wrong, like you can't run from it.
Speaker 1:I'm like and I went through the whole gamut of things cause, like I am on medication and that is just what my body needs to function at this level and when I first got on it, I had a lot of shame around it. Like, okay, I'm just gonna take it for now, I'll be healed, I'll be fixed and I won't need it anymore. And I mean and I really leaned into it in 2020, cause I was like life has to get better. Like I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, like I had both. I was like I'm getting a psychiatrist to manage medicine and I have a therapist that I meet with every week virtually.
Speaker 1:And my psychiatrist was finally, like why do you want to get off? Like why, what's the motivation? He's like I'm not going to tell you, not to. It's your body, it's your choice. But, like what is happening here, and he's like what if? Like your brain just chemically needs it? Like what's wrong with that? If you have diabetes, you're like, oh, one day I'm not going to need to take insulin. Like, yeah, you're going to take it, cause that's what your body needs. I love that, yep. So it was like changing, like the shame around it, like okay, this is just, this is what I need, and like I looked at it as like it doesn't make it go away, cause you still need the tools and you still have to do the work but and figuring out what works for you. But it makes it quiet enough that you can kind of be in charge.
Speaker 2:You're so good at explaining this. Yes, I remember when I got my doctor told me like we should try meds and I just remember like the breakdown I had in his office and just it wasn't even funny and he was such a good person to have had that moment with because he also was just a very into holistic medicine, Very much like, yeah, let's try all the things first. And we had been trying so many different alternatives. I was doing a million different kinds of yoga and the sad lamp in cause mine started with seasonal depression and we were trying like all these different things and it just wasn't cutting it. And I think a lot of my breakdown was the shame associated that society brings on us. I think it's like a societal pressure, but that shame thinking like I'm not strong enough, why do I have to do this with meds? Why do I need medications? Like why can't I just, you know, fix it and be stronger? And then I kind of coped with it and I was like, okay, I'm gonna just take meds and, like you said, like I kind of thought of it that way, like, oh, it's a short-term thing, it's just gonna kind of help balance my brain chemistry while I find the right tool that I just haven't stumbled upon yet.
Speaker 2:And six months in, I have a friend who's the pharmacist really smart, really smart woman and I remember texting her and just being like, hey, what are, like the side effects? Like I think I'm just gonna have to be on this forever. And I've always heard horror stories with different medications. And she texts me back very similar to what you just said, like if your brain needs this, it needs this, and like if it's gonna make you better, then you just need to take it and it's okay. And the particular med I was on was totally fine to do long-term. And so she was like this is fine, like you're just gonna do this because that's what's gonna make you feel better. But the shame. I remember breaking into tears again after that conversation because I just felt so much shame around knowing that I was gonna probably need this for a very long time and now finally coming to terms with like okay, my life is so much better, like so much better than it was. It really helped my depression specifically a lot.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I was sorry and like too, like I mean, we're like full-sending this mental health but, like you know, I talk about like making friends with it and like using it as a tool. I've kind of just decided. It's kind of like I have this extra form of feedback than what everybody gets Because, like, like you said, like I want medication like that helps with the depression. But there's also a lot of things I do in life because I did medication 10 years ago without changing anything else in my life. I just took medicine and that did not help. I feel like it's like a whole, like for me it was a holistic situation.
Speaker 1:But one thing my therapist had me do really early on and I really advocate for, whether you have it or you don't, I think it's just a good tool where she was just like track your mood every day. Like I just need to gain some self-awareness. She's like for the next 30 days. Just humor me Right. Overall, how are you feeling today? Yeah, like nothing fancy. No fancy Pinterest mood tracker. Like I have a lined journal and it was just like a spiral you get at Walmart for a dollar. Like nothing fancy.
Speaker 1:And I would write my three gratitudes down for the day, because when you look for, you find so. I was trying to train my brain to look for things to be grateful for and she was like, just add mood and just put, like, however it is you're feeling, don't overthink it one or two words. And so then, at the end of 30 days I committed to this for 30 days we went back and we started flipping through it. I started flipping through it because, like I'm out with her virtually so I'm like flipping through it. I'm like, oh, she's like okay, do you notice anything?
Speaker 1:And what I noticed was that if I would write tired the next day or two, I'd also write exhausted and then all of a sudden, the exhaustion would turn into like I'd be more anxious tomorrow. Then I would start feeling depressed more than normal and then, like I would probably have a day or two where I rested a lot and then I felt better and then it would go back through. And what I learned in this, like just simple tracking, was that my mental health is very much tied to how rested I am, and that's a thing for me. And so I noticed when I start feeling more anxious, I'm not sleeping enough, I'm doing too much, my plate is too full.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And realizing that and having to be very mindful of not comparing myself to what other people are doing, cause I feel like, especially in entrepreneurial space I mean really anywhere you'd be like, oh well, they can handle this. Yeah, like they can handle doing all these things. Like can I handle it Well? Like okay, well, that's not how I'm uniquely designed and so like. From that, like I said, like yesterday I had a panic attack. The last week I had a family member with hospital. I didn't sleep much. I'm currently exhausted right now and really haven't had a moment to like fully catch my breath because, like I'm working full time and have all these things and, like you know, and so I know my key, I need to clear my schedule for a few days and I need to just be Yep and like. So, looking at is like that's feedback, that's my body telling me hey, we're doing too much, we're depleted right now, we're running on empty. We need to take a moment for ourselves.
Speaker 2:That's a cool way to think of that too, because if you think of it almost, it's almost like a little superpower, like we just get very quick feedback. But our bodies will definitely tell us you know when you're not feeling good, when you're, when you're not doing what your body needs, taking the rest it needs, taking the space it needs, your nervous system will get overloaded and let you know. But I like that you're telling us like how it's changed into becoming something where you now see the signs and you're able to kind of start thinking about it a little bit more clearly, like, okay, what is this telling me? What do I need to do? And, like you said, like today and the rest of this week, you just need to rest and catch back up on your rest and like letting yourself process everything that's been going on.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, and just to like looking at it, I mean, like three years ago this was not me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I love that you're saying this.
Speaker 1:I felt very like victim to what was going on in my mind and and felt like I had no control over it. And and two, one thing, like I I talk about it on my podcast, but you know I externally like made my anxiety not me, so like, what I mean by that is like I gave my, I mean I detached my anxiety for myself because I'm like it's somebody in the car, not like in a crazy, like a whole alternate personality, but like in a sense of like I refer to my anxiety as a rabbit, like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Oh, I love this. And so when I start getting anxious, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I am anxious. I'm like the rabbit is saying these things.
Speaker 1:And so I like glued people in who are really tight in my circle. I want to be like, oh, like the rabbit's telling me this. I need you to tell the rabbit like this is not not because, like it's not listening to me and it made it more, it makes you have more power over it. And like, which is very like, I don't know I can be like, think whatever you want, but it works for me is I'm like, oh, the rabbit, the rabbit is doing this and I'm like no. And so now my anxious thoughts have nothing to do with me. They're not attached to me, I'm not. I'm feeling anxious because it's not the thought, they're not my thoughts, like it's anxiety starts. Yeah, my thoughts, it's anxiety.
Speaker 1:I said that that's something instead of, instead of it being like oh, I'm thinking all these things, like, no, the rabbit was telling you through an embolism, yeah, like you know, like in my sense, I'd be like, oh, like the rabbit's telling me like this is happening, but I know, logically it's not. But it just keeps telling me this is happening and like I just need somebody to say you're fine, and like just breathing, and like no, I'm in control. Like you're not in control, I'm in control.
Speaker 2:I seriously want to highlight everything. You just well this whole episode, but everything you just said, like I just want everybody to listen to that back again to remember how important it is to be able to confide in certain people. Like obviously your whole world, you know, everyone that knows. You doesn't mean to know everything, but like for me, when I had that panic attack it was seriously calling, like I thought like something seriously physically wrong with me and just calling like the first person I could think of you know, I'm like, oh, my sister has to do this so that she can call my man, he can come home, he can you know whatever, and like, if something happens, I don't know, your mind just goes crazy. But having that person knowing that you can confide in somebody, talk to them and they can help talk to that part of you, that's not listening to your logical self.
Speaker 1:So like and finding and just finding that person in you know, like I don't and I have one person that I go to with this like I don't broadcast it. I mean I just released an episode, you know, like when we're recording this. It's episode 80 on my podcast, like you can go back and listen to it and I just four minutes long. There's no intro, there's no outro. It was I recorded it the day after my family members put in the hospital and I just came on and said, look, I said I would come on here and commit to this and so I'm here, but I also talk about how not everybody gets equal access to you.
Speaker 1:So I'm not, I'm not going to go into what's going on in my life right now because I'm not at a place where I can share it. I want to be that permission slip for you to say, hey, not everybody gets equal access to you and that's okay and you don't deserve an explanation for anybody. Like the people who I confide in know what's going on and that's okay. And so I just want to be that reminder for you and like, end of episode done so good, and just like to illustrate that point of you have that person that you can confide in, like your sister, your, your spouse, like what? Your significant other, a close friend, like you know, whatever it is, but like I don't go broadcast everybody like, yeah, now today I'm in a place where I'm like, yeah, I had a panic attack yesterday. I can talk about it, but when I was doing, when I was deep in it early on, I was not telling anybody. Right, one person knew, yep, and I wasn't until.
Speaker 2:Oh sorry, I just want to highlight that that, like, please talk about these things. Like for everybody listening, please talk about them. Please don't keep it just yourself, but exactly what you're saying, there's a fine line between needing to broadcast it because that can cause more anxiety and more mental health issues. Like you don't need to broadcast it to the whole world, but by sharing these experiences, you know that, like you have a safe person who's there for you and who you can trust. And then, just like us talking about this and listening to the episodes, going to events, you know, finding a coach, a community all of that is, like, so important to plug into, just so that you know you're not alone.
Speaker 1:And it's such a good reminder. I mean like and you never know what's going on outside of, or what's going on behind closed doors, yeah. Or like on the other side of somebody's phone when they're talking on Instagram, like you don't know.
Speaker 2:God. People would always tell me, like at work especially. Which is the funniest things, that's like the place that I'm not, you know. Happy people would always say like you're the happiest person I know, and it's so weird.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm not by any means like so depressed at that time, you know, so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed or I'm not getting like that, or, but it was interesting to have that feedback. I'm like you guys all think I'm so happy but you don't know what's really happening in my mind, like I'm not. I'm a ball of anxiety, I'm depressed. Like I'm not myself. I mean, I don't always know the real thing and so like being able to, to share that behind closed doors, you know, with your circle, with your true friends and again with these communities and stuff, it just it makes it's such a good feeling so that you know like you're seen at that capacity, you're seen for how you're really feeling.
Speaker 1:And I think that's like just to your point, like I had, that people are like oh, you have it all together, like you're doing all the things. I'm like I'm falling apart, yeah, but then I realized that that's on me, like I'm also not letting myself be seen, and so not that I let everybody in, because I'm a firm believer that not everybody needs equal access to you. Not everybody needs the same level of access to you all the time. Yeah, there's different seasons and everything for that. But I know, just like at work, people will be like oh, like, are you good? No, I'm not, but I'm not going to talk about it.
Speaker 1:That's a good way, yeah, of like I'm, because I realized for me, and like the people pleasing and like undoing some people pleasing stories that I was telling myself was that I had to. I was being bubbly and looking like I had it all together because I wanted other people to feel comfortable and I was driving some of my worth from what other people thought of me. And so, again, it comes back to like people pleasing in a different way of you know, not doing more things. So, like here, let me make sure I show up in a way that makes you feel comfortable In a way that you feel is acceptable. So that way I can, you know, not be my authentic self, but you're comfortable, so it's fine. Yes, and so now I'm like, no, you know I'm not okay, but I'm not gonna talk to you about it. Like, thank you for asking, but I'm not gonna talk about it and you get to do with that whatever you want to do with it.
Speaker 1:That is genius and like people look at you like, oh, you're not okay. And like I'm like, yeah, I'm not. You asked I'm not. Like I'm not, I'm not gonna pretend that I don't. And like I had a conversation with my boss. I was really overwhelmed with stuff going on at work and I went in there and I was like I'm really overwhelmed right now and I said I'm not wanting to really ask for help, but right now, like we need to do something. And she was like, okay, yeah, that's fine. And then, like a couple weeks later, I came back and I was like, okay, like thank you, the change I'm doing better, like I can handle this. But I've gotten to a place like I didn't go into all the details of what was going on, I just said, hey, we need to shift some stuff around. But that's one thing that I've learned. And so just like being aware of your intentions, about why you're doing things, like are you showing up bubbly Cause you went to? Are you showing up bubbly Cause you know that's gonna make people more comfortable?
Speaker 2:So good I never even thought about that, to be honest that that's most likely that people please their tendency for sure to just. It's so much easier to just show up, pretend like everything's okay, be you know, act the way that they expect you to Easier for you or easier for them, Because it takes more energy.
Speaker 1:It takes more energy to pretend something that you're not. It does.
Speaker 2:But for some reason I still feel like that's even easier, because I guess it is because it's from for their standpoint. But it's easier than people knowing people from work or something, knowing that you're going through something and thinking maybe like, oh, she can't handle this job, or she can't handle whatever's going on, you know, and she's not gonna be good enough to work with us today, or something like that, or them wanting to like, get it out of you. Well, what's going on? Let's talk about this them wanting to coach you through it, and it's like I don't even have, like I feel like the energy, for that takes so much more energy than sometimes just saying oh, I'm fine, but I love what you said, because that is a perfect medium to be like you're authentic, completely authentic self. I'm not okay right now, like I'm going through some stuff, but I don't wanna talk about it, I don't wanna share like you don't need to hash this out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I don't wanna talk about it and like you can leave it at that, and then too, like with that you know, like I get what you're saying about how it can be easier, just to say you're fine, or like you don't want them to think like, oh, you can, she can handle this or you things, but then that's you controlling. Oh, other people's thoughts are like I'm just gonna, I'm just I'm just gonna keep real with you, like that's you controlling?
Speaker 1:other people's thoughts are on something you have absolutely no control over and it's not your responsibility control. You can't control other people's thoughts. You can't control other people's feelings. You can't control other people's judgments. You can control how you show up, but like if you say, hey, I'm not good, but I don't wanna talk about it, and they go oh, she can't handle this today, that's a them thing. That's a them thing, that's not a you think yeah, and it's not your job to make sure that you're I mean like, yes, I mean if you're like crying everywhere and emotionally, like you know, like you shouldn't be there, like obviously, but like if you know, like, yeah, I can handle it, but like there, that's their own thing. You can't control them. Yeah, and it's not your responsibility to and letting go of that responsibility and I say that as somebody who used to hold onto that yeah Very strongly. It's so liberating and so free just to let it go, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that. It felt really liberating when you were honestly just saying, like the whole part of like oh, I don't really feel like talking about it, Like even just hearing you say that made me feel so free and it's like, oh my God, yes, we can say that to people. We can like control, like, well, see, we can control.
Speaker 2:But, we can't control how much we share. But like, yeah, because sometimes I feel, you know, like it just takes a lot of energy to let people in who aren't in that very close circle, who don't need to know everything about you. And, like I was saying a minute ago, like it's different when it's like maybe strangers quote unquote that you're letting in you know from an online community or something like that. But that's different because those are like people who are there to support you, who are going through similar things, who you know you're there to know you're not alone. But that's so different than like a coworker who it just kind of is an awkward situation and that you just don't wanna have to deal with.
Speaker 1:Exactly like you have so much power. And just to like your point of the more times you do it and the more reps you get, the better you feel about it and the easier it is Like, yeah, it was freaking hard for me to be like, no, I'm not like, but then it's like, once you take the mask off, like you're like that's too much heavy lifting for me to ever put that back on. Yeah, yeah, and I had conversations with people where I'm like I don't wanna talk about it and if you're gonna keep talking about it, like I'm gonna walk away. Good, yeah, it's not, and I just share that for the permission slip to the person listening that like you can do that. And if they get mad, like that's on them, that's you triggering something and then that's not on you. Like the only person in this world who's going to look out for you 100% of the time is you.
Speaker 2:So good, so good. I love it so true. Can you tell us where everyone can find you on? Is Instagram the best place?
Speaker 1:Instagram is the best place. That's pretty much where I live all the time, like social media land, like that's where I show up. So I'm at Instagram, at jacelaller, I'm in there. I have my podcast, have the audacity or at least two episodes a week, or close it in on a year. I'm gonna hit a hundred. The hundredth episode is gonna be on Christmas Day, which I'm just you, I'm like the alignment in that. It's just like okay, so I have some big things planned for there and that's like the best place to find me. And then I have my community and stuff I talked about on that on Instagram and things.
Speaker 1:My community is audacious, collective and and it's a really high touch, like high touch points. We have three calls a month. I bring any guests. We have two community calls. There's a telegram chat group when I like I get in and we just share what's going on in life and you have the community and me Access to me in it and I love it. I love creating that space because online community changed my life so much and so it's like my favorite place to pour into.
Speaker 2:Um, I have questions about that. When so, is it on Facebook or is it on its own platform?
Speaker 1:so my community, like, we have the telegram chat, which it's a free app you can download, because I just like to keep everything there, um, and then all the resources are like where you do calls on zoom, and then we have resources that are on a membership portal on my website so you get access to all of it there. I like that, um, all the backlogs of, like all the re-record, so like whenever you join, you get access to everything that's ever been recorded. That's so cool in there, I love it.
Speaker 1:So all the monthly masterclasses, all of that, things, it's all in there. And then I like we all communicate through telegram. I personally, um, facebook groups are just not my thing, yep, they don't feel good for me. And so, like, I love the telegram app, having it on your phone, because it feels like you have Like this community literally in your pocket and it is like texting you can do video texting, audio, voice messaging. It's just like, uh, we have all these different threads in the group for all different things, um, but I really that's my favorite way and I really enjoy it. It just feels like this group of friend community.
Speaker 2:Um, is there anything else coming up that you like want to plug?
Speaker 1:That's really the like. That's the biggest thing. I do have some things coming that, um, I'm filing in some details on. So, like, do what I said. Like, yeah, where will we see them? What is it? So I'm going to be like announcing them soon on instagram. I have some fun things planned for the week between christmas and new year's. So, online, online fun things planned, um, that are coming. I'm going to be announcing in november.
Speaker 1:So if you want to be the first ones to know, like my email list, um, it's gonna know and I'm gonna announce on instagram, um, a lot of things we talked about. I have a lot of freebies. So my website, my website is wwwjacylawlercom. I have a whole page dedicated to free resources that I've created. Um, a lot of the things. The mindfulness that we talked about, about the daily journaling, is in there. I have a whole exercise on how to build your identity, not around how you show up for others, um, and that's in there. So, like that's a good place to go, but, and like to get those, you just you join on my email list and I'll it'll email it to you. Um, just an exchange there, and so, yeah, that's I love some things coming and they're gonna be coming soon, so email list, instagram.
Speaker 2:If you want to know like they're gonna, that's where I'm gonna be announcing them, so good and could you leave us with one like self love or self care tip, something like tangible that you could tell everybody that they could just go do anytime for themselves?
Speaker 1:I would say, like, for me, the first thing that comes to mind is just to breathe and that's like such a basic thing to do and that's the thing we don't do enough because society keeps us at this rapid pace, because there's a lot of power in just taking a moment to be still and so Just having, like tying it to before you eat a meal. Just do about one round of box breathing and like so. If you don't know, if you're listening to this and you've heard us Talk about box breathing and you're like I don't know what that is, box breathing as you breathe in for a count of four, you hold for a count of four, you breathe out for a count of four and you hold it out for a count of four. Do that one time. You could do it once and you're gonna see such a big change.
Speaker 1:But like, the sweet spot I have found for myself has been like two or three, okay, counts of it, reps of it. But just like In the morning when you wake up, before you start your day, just like breathe Before you eat, just take a moment to breathe, like, just attach it to, like, do the habit stacking, attach it to something you're already doing every day until it just becomes a part of your life and that simple, tangible free tool. Yeah, you're gonna see huge changes, yep so good, I love it.
Speaker 1:How amazing was that conversation. There were so many Like juicy little golden nuggets takeaways Whatever you want to call it from this conversation and it was just so candid and it was so fun and the energy was just right there with it.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to share this conversation with you, and I know Audrey feels the same way and I'm entering in this very unapologetic season Of my life and I'm just asking for what I want, and so I'm just gonna ask you if you Vibed with today's episode, if you had a takeaway. Please take a few moments on Spotify and Apple, wherever you listen to this podcast on and leave a review. It truly helps so much with the podcast algorithm in getting this podcast out there, and you know, when you listen to podcasts and you scroll down and it has you may also like, and it suggests similar podcast Reviews is how that happens. It's how the algorithm knows that you love this content and you vibe with it and it will suggest it for others, and so literally, it's a free way. We're always like I wish I had the money to support my friend, so and so like, take a moment and leave a podcast review only a good way. I feel like it's safe to say that.
Speaker 1:So share your takeaway, share something you loved about it. Just take a few moments, leave your review. It would truly appreciate it and if you Feel like it, send it to a friend and share it. Share, take a screenshot, share on your instagram stories. Tag Audrey and myself. We would love to hear your takeaways from this, and it literally it means so much when you create something and you have this passion about it and you send it out into the world, and to see how people respond to it and the ripple effect that it has Is truly amazing, and so I just want to thank you in advance For leaving our view and sharing it with a person, one person. Show down your stories, send it to a friend. Thank you so much. It truly means so much to me.
Speaker 1:You know, though, if you've been here for a while, you know you can't leave yet, and if you're new here, I'm so glad that you listen to today's episode, and I want to let you in on a little secret. I'm not so secret secret that I can't let you leave without reminding you that you Always need to remember that you are worthy, you have value, you get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don't let anyone, including yourself, convince you otherwise, and if that idea or vision for your life is in you, it is for you. I'm rooting for you, and I can't wait to talk to you soon. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, I would love to hear from you, so share it on instagram and tag me so I can personally thank you for getting this message out. I'm so grateful to have you on this journey with me. So until next time, remember to have the audacity.