How to not allow judgment from those closest to you to hold you back
Use my code JACY10 to save on your order of Gut Personal Supplements! Visit www.gutpersonal.com and take their online quiz to get personalized recommendations of supplements for your gut health needs! I recommend starting with the Miracle Worker! It is my favorite and will literally TRANSFORM your sleep.
Remember that, you are worthy. You have value. You get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convenience you otherwise. If that idea or vision for your life is in you, then it is for you.
⚡I would love it if you take 30 seconds to leave a 5 star review and a rating sharing why you love this podcast! If you have left a review, please share it with a friend!
How to not allow judgment from those closest to you to hold you back
Use my code JACY10 to save on your order of Gut Personal Supplements! Visit www.gutpersonal.com and take their online quiz to get personalized recommendations of supplements for your gut health needs! I recommend starting with the Miracle Worker! It is my favorite and will literally TRANSFORM your sleep.
Remember that, you are worthy. You have value. You get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convenience you otherwise. If that idea or vision for your life is in you, then it is for you.
⚡I would love it if you take 30 seconds to leave a 5 star review and a rating sharing why you love this podcast! If you have left a review, please share it with a friend!
Speaker 1:
Hi and welcome to the have the Audacity podcast, where we are all about living our own version of our best life.
Speaker 1:
My name is Jacey. I'm a multi-passionate human obsessed with personal growth, and I want you to come on this journey with me, where we share our stories and learn tools, tips and tricks to live the life we were always meant to live. So let's lean into the uncomfortable celebrator highs and embrace our lows, because all of it's important. It may get a little messy, but it's time to have the audacity. Hey, audacious Human, I'm so glad that you're here today and we're going to dive right in, because I talked about an episode 94, how I am just feeling a shift. I explained the shift that has happened in my life and how I just really am stepping into my power and I feel very powerful and, honestly, like a badass. And so we're leaning into it and you know I just want to share with you real time. It's like I say that I'm like, oh, I put this out on the internet and I put myself out on the internet to be seen. And you're listening to me right now and you know this podcast is global. I'm just pushing this out for literally the whole world and you're like, oh, I feel like a badass and you know what pops into your mind sometimes, what your relatives say or what your high school friends say. And how often do we play small because we're concerned about what other people think and it's not even strangers on the internet, like we tell ourselves like, yeah, I don't want people to judge me or I don't want people to be mean to me, and we'll like one, people are going to be mean to you. And two, it's not your responsibility for other people's opinions. It's not your responsibility to be strangers on the internet, but really anybody. But three, if you're honest with yourself, it's the people like your friends within high school or junior high, your childhood friends, your family members, who you're concerned about not judging you Again, it's not your responsibility and who cares? It's not your, it's not their life, it's yours, your life. So if you feel like a badass today, then just say you feel like a badass and who cares? If people think it's cringe, don't care, it's your life.
Speaker 1:
That comes to us listening to a podcast and Julian Murphy, who I am very excited who will be a guest on this podcast, but I was listening to one of her podcast episodes and she's all about marketing and sales. Like her podcast is very business driven, but she was talking about how, like you can't be for everybody. Like you can't, you cannot be for everybody. If you're trying to be for everybody, you're really being for no one and like, how true is that? And so if, anyway, shape or form, you're putting yourself out there, then if people don't like it, then those aren't your people, they're not for you. That's not what you're creating it for. If somebody's going to judge me for saying I feel like a badass today, then that's not who the listener that I'm having this conversation with and for that's not why I created this podcast for that person.
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I created this podcast for somebody who here is like, oh, she feels like a badass. Like hell yes, like I feel like a badass because you feel like a badass, like let's freaking go. You know and that's what I just wanted to come on and talk about is like, in this new era that I'm stepping in because it's Swifty, gotta be about the errors this new era that I'm stepping into is all about just being myself and even more, and being that permission slip even more and just being for you and to be that reminder like if you're for everybody, then you're really for no one and it's time to really own that. And I'm not even talking like on a podcast or level or a business level, like in your day to day life. If you're trying to get everybody to like you, then nobody's gonna like you. Like, if you're really honest, if you're trying to be the person that everybody likes, then really no one's going to Cause like nobody's gonna really know you. If you're trying to be for everybody, then you're gonna be for no one. I mean, think about anybody who's really accomplished anything great in your life. Think of whoever it is like celebrity, famous person, famous CEO, whatever it is comes to your mind. Are they for everybody? No, like, I'll even take like Taylor Swift, for example. Like I mean choose pretty much. Like for the masses. I mean the Swifties are a force to be reckoned with.
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But even on that point, not every single person likes her and Taylor Swift could be like a very polarizing thing to say you like, either in polarizing in the sense that you either say like oh, I like Taylor Swift, and people are like oh, my gosh, yes. And or people are like you know, like there's no middle ground, but like there is no middle ground on that. And so, like, think about it. Like, would she have the fans that she has if she tried to make music that every single person would like? No, because people would be like what the heck is going on? And Nobody would like her and it wouldn't work.
Speaker 1:
So I use Taylor Swift to explain, like, to illustrate the point of like you can't be for everybody, and that goes with your co-workers, that goes with your family. Like you can't water yourself down, or you should like we're not in the business, as an audacious human, of watering ourselves down to make other people comfortable, and that is something I had to grow into into. I Say that because there was a point in my life when I wanted, I just Was like, okay, who do you want me to be? Like, I'll be the chameleon. Like, who do you want me to be? I'll be that for you, like a big people pleasing tendencies, because I didn't want to be not liked.
Speaker 1:
And you know, at the root of it, that's a very primal part of our brain that thinks that, because at one point in time in the human existence, if you were excluded from the herd or the community, then you could be eaten by a bear or Name some carnivorous animal that could have attacked you. So it was safe for you to stay in the community and stay in the herd, and so you didn't want to stray out of that and do anything that was going to make people push you out. So that very primal part of our brain is like no fit in. Well, you have to tell yourself like I'm not gonna get attacked by a bear, so we're gonna be okay. God, trust me here, because when did that get you? We've all been there in our lives. It's something we can universally, as humans and part of the human experience, identify with.
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How did you feel when you were trying to make yourself a version of yourself that everybody would like? It probably didn't feel good. And if you did it for long enough and I've had enough conversations with women, particularly women, um, and know from my own personal experience, if you do that long enough, you wake up one day and you're like who the hell am I? Who am I? So this comes like. Then you don't know who you are anymore and that's a place to crawl back out of. And I was there at the time this recording. I was just there a few years ago. I didn't know what I wanted. I knew I was happy, not in all aspects of my life. Like some aspects of my life, yes, I was very happy with, but, like overall, I didn't know who I was because I had spent my entire life trying to be the version of myself that made other people happy, that made other people proud of me, and be the version of myself that I thought people wanted me to be.
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Here's the thing. I'm a very dumb, smart person. We're just gonna keep it real here. I'm a very dumb smart person. Like two master's degrees, the common sense department lacking. It could be better. It could be a lot better.
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I like to make up songs and sing them all the time. All the time. I like awkward dad dance moves. Like I can dance, but I dance awkwardly on purpose and I enjoy it. Heck. At the time I'm recording this podcast. Last night I legitimately had the urge to like skip through the house. Like what? Like I'm awkward. Like it is what it is. I own it. This is me. I like Taylor Swift. I don't care if you don't like her. Like cool my comfort book to read like a comfort TV show, but it's a comfort book. Is the Hunger Game series Like give me some dystopia, country fiction, perfect, relaxes me. Let's escape to another world, like what? And I just own it. Like this is me.
Speaker 1:
I am not afraid to speak my mind anymore Because I'm not concerned with being something everybody likes, like I'm not out to be an asshole, but I'm not afraid anymore Because I know who I am, I like who I am and from that place I will stand in my power and stand up for myself and speak my truth and not water myself down to make other people comfortable. And that was a precedent of itself. As I step into this power and you know I share with you how I have always been this person and you know it was uncomfortable becoming this person, becoming the version of myself who is comfortable with possibly making other people uncomfortable. Do you know how many people I have had tell me in my life that I'm intimidating Because I know a lot Like wow, you know, you're just kind of really intimidating Because you're very confident and very sure of yourself, like well, thank you, I'm going to take that as a compliment because even if you meant to does an insult, I'm going to take it as a compliment because if I'm intimidating, that's a you problem, not a me problem, because I know my intention behind myself. Showing up is not for a power move. I'm not trying to be intimidating, I'm not oh, look at me. Like no, I'm just, like I know who I am. I'm going to stand up for what I believe in and I'm going to show up as myself. And if that makes you uncomfortable, that's a you problem. Like I'm reflecting, I'm showing something in you that you want, and so this is even making you feel uncomfortable right now. This conversation, then, like that's the signal to you that there's a part of you that wants to come out that you're holding back or watering down, and that's what's feeling uncomfortable. You're like hi, I'm playing small, it's trickering, it's activating, and you get there by putting in the reps.
Speaker 1:
By starting small, I mean I started and I share a lot in conversations that I've had with other women about how I started this like all the way back to the basics of like my style of clothes. What do I like to wear? Do I like to wear this because I like it? Do I like to wear this because I thought somebody else would like it? Did I like this because somebody on the internet told me I should like it. Like why? Why do I wear the clothes that I wear? What do I actually like for me? Not what do I think people like or what people think will look good. Like what do I think looks good?
Speaker 1:
You start there, something trivial and small and tangible. Then you find yourself getting confident. You're like dropping drops in a confidence bucket. It's getting more full, the more things and you start adding more things and you say no. When you want to say no and somebody asks you to do something, you're like no, I don't want to, and you don't give an excuse. You just say no, thank you for asking, but no, and you leave it more drops in your confident bucket. Then, pretty soon, you find yourself in situations where you're not afraid to disagree with somebody Again, not promoting me an asshole here, but if you stand, you have to stand for something and you're entitled to your opinion and you're entitled, you get, to share it.
Speaker 1:
Do people have to listen to you? No, but you get to, and so that's why I wanted to say it today. Like if you're trying to be for everybody, then you're going to be for nobody, including yourself, and you're going to wake up one day and look at the mirror and be like I don't really know who this person is, I don't really know how I got here, like it's real, if that happens to you, if that's happening to you right now or if that happened to you in the past, like you're not alone, literally just shared. I went through that and I know I'm not alone. You're a human. There's billions of us here. Welcome to the club.
Speaker 1:
But it's time to stop watering ourselves down in our relationships, in our friendships and at work, on the internet, at the grocery store, like whatever it is. Have the audacity to show up as your freaking self. Stop watering yourself down to make other people comfortable. That's not serving you, it's not serving them and we don't have room for that. We don't. Life is too short for that. You have a TBD amount of days here. You don't know the count.
Speaker 1:
Life is too short to be watering yourselves down to make other people comfortable, because you are not responsible for other people. You're not responsible for their opinions, you're not responsible for their feelings. If you make somebody uncomfortable, that's because you're activating something inside of them. If you, speaking your truth, makes them uncomfortable, that's a them problem, not a you problem, and I know you need to hear that we all need that reminder. Heck, I need that reminder sometimes.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes I have to remind myself that to this day, in real time, that I am not responsible for other people's emotions, other people's opinions, or it's not my job, it's not my responsibility. So if you need to remind yourself that today, then here's your reminder and this is your drawing your line in the sand moment. I'm done watering myself down to make other people comfortable. I am a powerful human. I was created for a purpose and I'm stepping into it. That's what I want for you, because I care about you too much. So let you stay the watered down version and stay behind and get to the end of your life and be like, wow, I wish I would have been myself more. I wish I wouldn't have cared what other people think. Like no, life's too short for this. Should have, would have, could have. We're drawing the line in the sand today. We're done watering ourselves down to make other people comfortable. We're showing up as our authentic self. We're having the audacity to do that and you can, because you're an audacious human and if this is feeling super active for you and you're just like man, I want more of this. I want to talk to you more about this. There's a link in the show notes or DM me on Instagram and I am offering.
Speaker 1:
I opened up a couple spots for the audacious women, where one on one coaching, where and literally all that is is like this conversation, but customized and tailored to you and what you're going through, and having somebody come alongside of you and call you out when you're playing small and help you navigate, finding your power and stepping into it. That's what it is Now, before I go, you know, I have to remind you that I want you to always remember that you are worthy, you have value, you get to take up space in this world simply because you exist. Don't let anyone, including yourself, convince you otherwise, and if that idea or vision for your life is in you, it is for you. I'm always rooting for you and I can't wait to talk to you soon. Thank you so much for listening. If you love this episode, I would love to hear from you, so share it on Instagram and tag me so I can personally thank you for getting this message out. I'm so grateful to have you on this journey with me, so until next time, remember to have the audacity.