Live Your Extraordinary Life With Michelle Rios

Embracing Authenticity as Your Superpower with Michelle Rios

• Michelle Rios • Episode 49

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Ever wondered what it takes to lead a life that's not just successful, but truly extraordinary? Join me, Michelle Rios, for an introspective conversation as I switch roles with my good friend Craig Siegel, who graciously plays the role of guest host in this episode. Our conversation reveals the highs, lows, and the poignant moments that have shaped my journey toward joy and authenticity. We'll uncover the little pleasures that can spark a deep sense of fulfillment within us, and discuss how embracing our innate gifts can transform everyday life into something eagerly anticipated and rich with purpose.

This week's heart-to-heart is a deep dive into the pivotal experiences that propel us from intellectual achievement to soul-level contentment. I'll recount the emotional breakthroughs that have defined my path, like the day a wise bus driver offered life-altering advice, and the impactful session at a Community Mental Health Center that set me on a course of self-worth and service. Prepare to be inspired as we navigate the trials and triumphs of living with radical authenticity and the profound impact it can have on finding one's place in the world.

We delve into how the having the courage to leave corporate certainty uncovered led to a robust coaching practice helping others find their extraordinary. I'll share some of the exciting projects that lie ahead, including a book in the works and a heartfelt desire to coach even more people seeking their extraordinary lives. So tune in, get comfy, and let's explore what it means to step fully into the light of our true selves and create a legacy built on purpose.

Connect with Michelle Rios:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.rios.official/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.c.rios
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@michelleriosofficial
Website: https://michelleriosofficial.com

Speaker 1:

If you really want to find happiness in your vocation, go on that journey of understanding who you are, what you want, what your gifts are. But specifically, I'm a big believer in leaning into what brings you joy. Hi, I'm Michelle Rios, host of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. This podcast is built on the premise that life is meant to be joyful, but far too often we settle for less. So if you've ever thought that something is missing from your life, that you were meant for more, or you simply want to experience more joy in the everyday, then this podcast is for you. Each week, I'll bring you captivating personal stories, transformative life lessons and juicy conversations on living life to the fullest, with the hope to inspire you to create a life you love on your terms, with authenticity, purpose and connection. Together, we'll explore what it means to live an extraordinary life, the things that hold us back and the steps we all can take to start living our best lives. So come along for the journey. It's never too late to get started and the world needs your light.

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. I'm your host, michelle Rios, and we have a very special treat today we are actually going to flip the script, so to speak, and we are going to have my dear friend and mentor, craig Siegel, from the CLS Experience, come on as the host and interview me for change, and we're going to hopefully have a very open, raw and God-willing inspiring conversation. So with that, craig, thank you so much for coming on and doing this with me today.

Speaker 2:

What an honor. So that's the passing of the bouton. Right Now, the show is hijacked and I'm in control.

Speaker 1:

You're in control. It's all yours, okay.

Speaker 2:

So, with that being said, we're going to do another introduction to make it right. Is that cool?

Speaker 1:

Let's do it.

Speaker 2:

On today's episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast, we have a very exclusive snack. We're keeping you on your toes and switching things up as we will be sitting down with the host, the juggernaut behind the show, to get deep, be vulnerable, ask the juicy questions and get a sneak peek behind the curtain of the authentic, driven, multifaceted, beautiful and brilliant the abundant and marvelous Michelle Rios, without further ado. How you doing, michelle? Oh?

Speaker 1:

my gosh. Craig, you flatter me and I am blushing here, which is everyone knows. I'm not usually verclumped, nor do I normally blush, but thank you so much, I'm so excited to do this. I think it's going to be epic.

Speaker 2:

I think this is going to be really good for a lot of your listeners and audience to get a little bit of a different vantage point of what makes you tick and so forth. Before we dive into all the juicy stuff, I'm going to start out. Have a little bit of fun, maybe break the ice a little bit. Ask you some fun ones. You ready for me? Let's do it. Okay, what is something weird about you that a lot of people probably don't know?

Speaker 1:

I have a massive tic-tac obsession, but only the fruit adventure and orange ones. But it is pretty bad. It's in my Christmas stocking every year. My boys know that that's what I'm looking for and that's what I want. When I'm craving something sweet, I'm usually on search for tic-tacs.

Speaker 2:

Fair enough, I can relate to that, except mine would be chocolate.

Speaker 1:

But only the fruit adventure or orange. None of these green and white ones. That's not my style.

Speaker 2:

On the side. I'm glad I asked. Now we're going to do a little bit of rapid fire, maybe like one or two word answers All right. You ready.

Speaker 1:

Let's do it.

Speaker 2:

Favorite movie.

Speaker 1:

Oh, this is tough. I love all movies. I'm the woman who can suspend disbelief in walking into a movie theater. Best favorite movie of all time. I love to laugh and this time of year, love actually, which is so cliche, but an old Christmas maybe I love it. I love the feel good movies.

Speaker 2:

There's no wrong answer here, fair enough, okay, number two your last meal on earth would be I'm a pizza girl.

Speaker 1:

I really love good pizza, so I probably asked for really good pizza. Have you had New?

Speaker 2:

York pizza, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love.

Speaker 2:

New York pizza.

Speaker 1:

And actually I prefer it over the deep dish Chicago style, because I don't like a lot of red. I love cheesy pizza.

Speaker 2:

Oh, now you're making me hungry. Love this All right. Number three your favorite guilty pleasure.

Speaker 1:

Well, this is a PG show, so I mean I love to travel, everyone knows this so I've had an opportunity to go somewhere a little bit indulgent, like we spent two weeks in France and the French Riviera. It feels indulgent at times because it's certainly luxury to be able to travel like this, but it is for me like breathing, and you can do it on the cheap, you can do it and keep very simple, but if we're going to do it, I really like to experience it full, on the way it's meant to be experienced. So I will say, like leaving my life behind for a little while and going into traveling overseas, where all possibilities are open and you can dream, is something I do every year, at least a couple of times a year.

Speaker 2:

Beautifully done. You lit up. There's something to that.

Speaker 1:

I feel like all the downloads come when I have space and there's nothing like being somewhere that isn't your everyday routine and disconnecting from it all, to allow yourself to dream and imagine in the what ifs, and so many of the inspired downloads come to me during that time.

Speaker 2:

I absolutely agree, which is why I'm doing that this weekend.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll let you know after. Okay, moving along here. Favorite workout.

Speaker 1:

Walking. I should be saying things like I like to lift weights, but that would be not true and I walk with the dogs a lot.

Speaker 2:

Love a long walk myself. Your favorite book.

Speaker 1:

My favorite book, I mean probably at this point in time Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich. I read it a lot. I've read it many, many times. There is a very small book that not a lot of people know about that really impacted me early on in my personal development journey and that was a book written by Ogman D, Now called the Greatest Salesman in the World. You know it. I really was blown away by that book. And then, of course, Paulo Coelho and the Alchemist. I have the 25th anniversary edition. I have an original. I love books like that that take you on a personal odyssey and you don't even know that you've been on the journey until the end.

Speaker 2:

Beautifully said and I love the first one that you named. Okay, last one, we'll get real deep. You ready for me? Okay, favorite musician.

Speaker 1:

I am a huge fan of John Mair. I grew up playing guitar, which a lot of people don't know.

Speaker 2:

They do now.

Speaker 1:

He is such a fabulous guitarist and I think a lot of people don't listen to him regularly, may not be aware of the fact he's probably one of the best guitarists of all times and he's, on so many of the popular music that's out there now, actually has John Mair playing on all the tracks that you're listening to. You just don't know it because he doesn't hate credit for it.

Speaker 2:

I did not know that you played guitar, but I'm happy I found out.

Speaker 1:

And my son does now. My son now is actually using my acoustic guitar from when I was 16 years old.

Speaker 2:

Can you sing also?

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, and all the people who know me from back to him in Maine he went to Meslowski High School know that under Gary Wright he was a long time choral instructor. That I was, I think, for years and years. Stores, Bagel Banner at basketball games, chorus concerts I was in musicals as a kid in high school all the things I think I was voted most musical in high school, really See.

Speaker 2:

now we're getting to the juicy stuff.

Speaker 1:

So long again now.

Speaker 2:

This is great. Okay, we broke the ice. Now it's time to really pull back some layers, pull back the curtain. Let's do it. First and foremost, I mentioned different people have a different definition of this, but no person more appropriate to ask than you what does it mean to live in extraordinary life?

Speaker 1:

I love this question and it's a question I ask all my guests, so I'm so grateful to be able to answer it. For me, living your extraordinary life is when you are so lit up from the inside out that getting out of bed excites you every day. That, to me, is really living an extraordinary life. It isn't necessarily like me over in Europe living the life of luxury or something like that. I like that. It is this idea of what I know, that I'm here to do, the assignment that I've been given, the gifts that I've been endowed with. I am using them intentionally and with purpose, and the void that I felt for many, many years as a younger person is filled because you're giving it away. And I think that that's the whole purpose. Right, you give it away, you give those gifts back to the world, you use them and it is the most rewarding, fulfilling, peace-filled experience. That, to me, is sort of the essence of living an extraordinary life.

Speaker 2:

A word that comes up for me, as you were describing it is, at least for me is enlightenment and being able to live from a place where your soul is lit. You mentioned excited, enthusiastic, energetic, about just being alive.

Speaker 1:

I mean you hit the nail in the head. For so many years I lived from a headspace. I was a very intellectually driven young person, I was very ambitious and everything came from a place of logic and analytics and achievement. And it took going into some pretty dark places to realize the reason why, even while I was excited and maybe engaged in those activities, I didn't feel alive, I felt empty and hollow, was because I wasn't acting or connecting at a sole place. I wasn't in alignment. I didn't even know how to connect at that level and when I did, it was a game changer. That really was this opening up of a whole new world and realizing I had missed out and probably, I would say, needlessly suffered. But I do think there's some goodness in the suffering when you look back on it and you can channel it and help people recognize they're not alone.

Speaker 1:

But there were times I went through so much suffering because I didn't understand how important it is to know who you are at that sole level and to understand that all of these roles and personas and titles and what have you? The roles you play in life, whether it's daughter, mother, sister, wife, students, academic, executive, all of that it's masks on the outside and who we really are is deep under there. That true essence of spirit is what you really need to be attuned to, and I didn't let that. I heard it. I didn't let it come out, though, until I was probably in my early 30s you know, late 20s, early 30s before I really understood that that still small boys that we all talk about now was the compass, was the wisdom, was what I needed to tap into. Instead, I was trying to analyze my way of situations or think my way through my life, and I felt lost for a lot of time.

Speaker 2:

Beautifully said. You know a lot of people talk about what you have to add to be more successful. One of the things that I love to encourage people to let go of is trying to be something you're not. And, ironically, when I start my podcast the experience I usually ask everyone with their superpowers. I know that you're very vocal about yours and its authenticity and reminds what you were just talking about. And, number one, I wanted to ask you why it's so important to be authentic, and then also not only for the listeners but selfishly, for me. I'm curious to your responses. Why is being radically authentic one of the hardest things anybody can ever accomplish? And I speak from contrast, because it took me personally 35 years to actually show up as the real, raw, strange, authentic cat that I am.

Speaker 1:

And we love you for it. Let me tell you a little bit of a story, then, because I think a backstory is in order to kind of understand why I came to a point, to understand the authenticity is really. It's really where it's all at for me, and that was because I grew up thinking that being who I was was never enough. You know, I had teenage parents my mother was 16 and my dad was 18 when they had me and it was, as you can imagine, a very trying circumstance. Neither one of them came from affluence, so they struggled. And I was about seven when I put together the fact that my parents' wedding anniversary fell only two months before I arrived into this world and that that was a shameful thing and it weighed heavy on my whole soul and it put me into a place of thinking I wasn't wanted, that perhaps who I was wasn't enough, and that somehow I had to prove both to my parents and maybe to my family at large that the sacrifices were worth it, that me being on the planet was going to pay off to them. So I remember my dad sitting me down and, despite being super young, he did have a tremendous impact on me, for good or for bad, by saying, yeah, you're right, you might not have been signed, but you're exactly what the world needs, so go set it on fire. And that, to me, was I was very mission oriented. I was like that's it. I'm the oldest in my family. I have younger siblings. We can't get stuck in this situation Like we have to rise out of this situation. So I did. What I could do in front of me was academics. That was the ticket.

Speaker 1:

We talked a lot in my family about education being the key to getting to the next level, to getting more opportunities. Back then it was create wealth, because that was the understanding of what was missing. We thought that transforming our circumstances around being stuck in sort of cycles of generational poverty. If we could break that, then that's it. I wouldn't feel insecure, I wouldn't feel the lack of stability in my life. I would feel like I belonged and that I had arrived and that I, quite frankly, belonged to somebody. And I think for my parents, they really expected a lot from us, which is great because it set me on fire early on and I was a super overachiever. But I was people pleasing from day one and I was trying to fit in into places I didn't have access to. So I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1:

When I went off to college, I was the first to go to college with my family and I got into a very exclusive private liberal arts college and I remember a professor saying to me Michelle, don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have the pedigree that most of the kids here have, so we're not expecting you to do as well. And something inside me died that day. I was so infuriated and angry and I had such a chip on my shoulder of like I'll prove you wrong. And on the one hand, it pushed me forward right, like I was into prove everybody wrong. So I was going to be first in my class. They said you know, you've never studied a foreign language. You studied Latin. You can't be a Spanish major. You can't go study abroad, you're never going to be able to catch up. Everyone else has six years on you. I was the Spanish prize award winner every year that I was in college, proving them wrong and pretty much tying them to go. You know what? And I ended up studying overseas.

Speaker 1:

I ended up becoming an ambassadorial scholar. It set me on this mission of I'm going to achieve as much as I can. But the problem with that is I was desperately trying to fit in. I wanted to be one of those kids with a pedigree. I wanted to fit in with those professors that said I didn't belong or that I was a good student, but they didn't expect as much for me. You know, I was one of the few people recruited up my college class into a job.

Speaker 1:

I was during a recession when I got out of college and I got into an elite consulting firm and for me it was sort of like each mark of achievement was I belong a little more, my self-worth went up a little bit more. My validation was all tied up in these external achievements. But in the process of doing that I never really asked myself and nor did anyone ever ask me, what I wanted. I didn't even contemplate that. I just desperately wanted to fit in in circles that seemed to be elite, that seemed to be where all was happening. It's so opposite of what I grew up with and that if I had that then it would make up for everything we all went through as a family and all the struggles we had, and it took me going to a really dark place.

Speaker 1:

I was in my mid-20s, I was living in Washington DC, I was going to Georgetown for graduate schools on a full scholarship. I was at the same time working as a director of communications full-time and I was climbing and climbing, and climbing and it was sort of this never-ending treadmill and I got sick. I'd been 20 years at this point striving and achieving, and people who knew me back then would say, if you knew her and you saw her, she's the energy as her body. She never stops, she will outpace you, she will outwork you, but it comes at a high cost. Like I was able to achieve a lot of things during that time and slowly but surely my health started to suffer and I got sick and I got anemic and I got mononucleosis and I kept going and it came to this one point in my life where I was not eating because I was too busy studying, going to class, going to work, trying to work full time, trying to go to school full time, and I was just cutting corners.

Speaker 1:

And as that happened, not only did my health start to take a spiral downward and I would just sort of push through it, have another cup of coffee, another Diet Coke, even you know just power through its caffeine, but my mental health started to really spiral and I wasn't even aware. I couldn't have told you that that's what was happening, because A we didn't talk about mental health the way we do today. There wasn't as much awareness. But also I didn't know that depression as it was unfolding in my own life wasn't me. I was starting to beat myself up on the inside Like, don't think like that. You should be grateful. Look at everything that you've achieved. Look at all the opportunities you have. What's wrong with you? Get it together.

Speaker 1:

Back then I was Corrigan. That was my name. I'm Corrigan. Get it together. You can do this. Go work out harder, get to the gym earlier, hustle, grind, and I was in that place. The problem was my health was just at an all-time low. I was super nimic. I was being fed I don't know a lot of people know about this because I wasn't eating. I became really good friends with this food vendor on the corner of Norrick Avenue in 17th Street, right next to the White House, which is where my office was at the time, and there was an Afghani refugee who owned a food truck. His name is Yusuf and he and his very own wife and new born baby would see me every day running from the garage where I put my little car to go to my office and running back to go to class. And they got to know me and they got to see over time that my health is deteriorating.

Speaker 1:

I didn't see it, but they did and they would stop me. Have you eaten today? No, I don't have time Hand me food Sandwich or a headdive or a gyro or something. But like here are these people from worse circumstance than I am having great amount of compassion for me. And it was also kind of indicative of how bad things were, even though they looked really good on the outside.

Speaker 1:

Like I looked like I had the world, I was setting the world on fire, but I was like kind of spiraling into these deep, dark place and it got to a point where finally one day I couldn't get out of bed. I physically couldn't get out of bed and when I finally pulled myself out of bed I just felt the weight of the world on me. I was carrying this boulder I talk about this a lot, like for many years. I just felt like I was carrying this big bluer around like trying to hold it in place for me and it just felt like I couldn't hold it anymore. I couldn't hold the boulder and I was at a point where I was like I cannot go another day in my life. It's too hard and there's no end to this. Like this is never ending treadmill that's going nowhere, like every achievement would happen and then I would have to be like, well, what's the next one, what's the next one, what's the next one? And it was never enough. It never filled the void. And the void, in fact, was starting to get deeper and darker and bigger. I felt less like I belonged, I felt less content, I felt less at peace and it was enveloping me. I got to a point where I was literally looking out the window of my tent story apartment building going. I just want to jump. I don't want to stay one more minute in my life because I can't. I don't have it in me to keep this up anymore.

Speaker 1:

And that was probably the deepest, darkest, most broken day of my life, because there was this realization that everything I had been working for felt hated, it felt like it was for nothing and I felt like I let everyone down, that I was even thinking these things and right at that moment of wanting to have the release, of just letting go, I got pulled back from the edge and I knew I couldn't stay in my apartment. I ended up jumping on a bus and kind of going through the city and I always say thank God for the bus driver on that bus that day who was like my guardian angel, because it was just him and I for most of that ride and it went on for hours and I just had a deep release of stopping my way, of realizing that everything I had been doing wasn't working, like I had achieved a lot. But I felt awful, I felt broken, I felt completely empty and like somebody had pulled the wool over my eyes. That this idea of the American dream work harder, work longer and one day you'll get there and you'll arrive. It sort of felt like, oh, that's not real, that's sort of like the carrot. They dangle that out in front of you and you start to chase and you chase and you chase. But oh wait, there's a never ending chase ahead of me and that really hit me hard.

Speaker 1:

And so I'm on this bus, I'm a complete mess. I'm sobbing my eyes out publicly, trying to meld into the window and disappear, and this bus driver looks up at me in the mirror and says, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then the bus driver looked up to me and said you know, sometimes we just need to surrender. And I was like you just felt like he could see on the inside of me and in that moment I said I surrender. And it was, like you know, in Georgetown. It's a street I've walked on a thousand times, if I've done it once, never in my life have I seen the sign right where the bus stopped. But the sign said Community Mental Health Center. Had never occurred to me to walk into Community Mental Health Center because I was like there's nothing wrong with me, like I just need to work harder. But I knew I had to get off the bus and I need to go in there and I needed to get help. And God has a huge sense of humor, because not only did my bus driver know that that's where I need to get off, but then the person who received me.

Speaker 1:

It was her first day on the job. And I remember thinking in my eyes, 26 year old mine. Oh, this woman is currently the age I am now. Back then and I thought it's her first day on the job. She's kind of an underachiever. I don't think she's going to be able to help me. My huge ego talking right, this big chip on my shoulder. And the funny thing is she said humor me, tell me what's going on. So I tell her what's going on and I said you don't understand. You're doing work that you connect with is probably super fulfilling, but like I don't have those kind of options, I need to like set the pace for my family. They're expecting lawyers and doctors and you know we've got to like change the history of.

Speaker 1:

And she's looking at me kind of blinking, and she said Well, as a matter of fact, I was an executive and she was in the tech industry and this was her second career and it was her first day on the job after extensive training and studying. And it just sort of sat there and she said I might know a little bit about what you're going through. And I was just like kind of blinking and she said I only have one question for you, because it's the only thing that you haven't told me yet. But this question is the most important question you'll ever be asked and if you know the answer to this question, life is going to get much better for you. I was like, okay, ready, I need a notebook, a pen, I'm ready to go, I'm a good student. And she's like you don't need a notebook and pen, you will not forget this, I promise you. Like, okay, hit me. And she's like what do you want, michelle? I didn't have an answer. I had no idea.

Speaker 1:

No one ever asked me what I wanted, didn't occur to me that it was that important, because I was constantly looking at other people and trying to figure out how to fit in. Please, people, become an amalgam of what I thought success looked like and fit into that mold, and in there I would find my place. And so the road to authenticity was very hard earned for me, because it took somebody sitting me down on the darkest day of my life and asking me what I wanted, to realize that I have never asked myself this. I've only asked what other people wanted me to be and what I needed to be in other people's eyes and what other people's opinions were in somewhere, that my identity and that my purpose was outside of me and that it would be found in the next achievement and the next promotion and the next scholarship and the next whatever who I was part of. And it was the first time that I realized that this journey I had been on, that took me to Europe, to Washington DC, out of my small town, on this hunt to be calmed, was never about some external journey. It was always about finding out who I was and going on this inward journey.

Speaker 1:

And so for me, 26 was a really important year, because I walked out of that woman's office asking myself really profound questions like what do you want? And that does matter, and it matters more than all the things you're trying to do. None of these things that you're trying to do are working and you're not finding peace, and that really became like a line in the sand for me. It became the beginning of the personal development journey and it became the first time that I started to become the observer in my life.

Speaker 1:

I think you and I both are fans of Wayne Dyer's work and I remember shortly after that moment reading be the observer in your life, your spiritual being having a human journey, and you're getting too caught up as a protagonist. Step back and be the observer and look for the gifts, give the gifts away. Just even that thinking. Probably one of the most profound books from that era for me was a Wayne Dyer book called You'll See it when you Believe it, and I remember seeing the title in the bookstore going. Well, they screwed up the title of the book. It's supposed to be you'll believe it when you see it. And no, it was quite the opposite. It was all about visualization and it just set me on this path of looking for how to identify who I really was and understand that at a deep level, not who I could be for others. And that became when things changed drastically. Life got a lot better.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't like a light switch and everything got perfectly tied up overnight, but it became the place where everything turned around and everything from there, with a lot more openness and a lot more vulnerability and a lot more understanding that I had a huge role to play in how my life unfolded and that the peace was going to come from the inside, not the outside.

Speaker 2:

Right. What a thorough, deep and profound answer. I'm so glad I asked you that and I'm not a therapist by any means but something that you said earlier which I think is really interesting is because you attested vulnerability beautiful to the fact that you were essentially not intentional. Your existence I don't like the word mistake, but I think because of that you set out on a mission, 100 miles an hour, to prove that you were the opposite of bi-accident. You were here for such a big reason and you were going to show them, your parents or even the world, that you were here by no coincidence to make a massive impact, and I think that actually helped you during that season of life.

Speaker 2:

But at what cost? Eventually it came to a crazing halt, but it sounds like that concept really helped you cultivate an edge from an early on where your career, even in the beginning, could have totally taken a different path as well. I imagine, looking back, although it got very dark at some point and then you woke up, I don't think you would have changed the thing, would you have?

Speaker 1:

No, in retrospect, no, as painful as moments of my past were and they were painful and there was a lot of dark times and a lot of pain. It went on longer than I wanted it to. In retrospect, it was exactly everything that needed to transpire in order for me to be able to be where I am today and, quite frankly, relate with a lot of people. I think it also made me a better leader. I had a great deal of compassion. It also helped me recognize and, I think, teach others that we are not just products of our circumstances.

Speaker 1:

That the edge that I cultivated, the realization that I could outpace anybody and I was really able to do that at a high cost, but I could do it Also made, if I was intentional about my energy and I focused on the things I wanted to focus on, which I had more latitude later in life I was getting into my later 20s and early 30s that I could really make big things happen. And so I went on to have an incredible career in corporate America, but with a level of enlightenment that, had I not gone through the dark times, I don't know that I ever would have. I would have probably been on an autopilot mode for a really long time and life would have unfolded differently than it did In the matrix.

Speaker 2:

You woke up and we all have that awakening. Most people say that they have an awakening and that it's only temporary and they go back to whatever it is that they were doing. It's like jolts of what could be, but that really woke you up and that led to an unbelievable corporate career in which you had a ton of success, great connections and so forth, and that kind of leads us where we are today, which is you stepping into something else? And I'm just curious Do you believe that you're here for one specific reason or it really depends upon the season? For example, that unbelievable tenure that you had in corporate was your purpose at that particular season, and now you're meant to be making a much bigger impact now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm a big believer that you're given gifts and the purpose is to use the gifts, and that the situations aren't necessarily your call, that you are going to inspire people and you're going to reflect light For me. I know that one of the things that I do well is seeing the light in others, and part of being able to see the light in others is to see the light in yourself. And for a long time it took me really realizing that my worth was inherent in my being, not in all the doing I was doing that. Then I could say wait, I have value just as I am, just because I'm here. And that self-compassion allowed me to be a lot more compassionate with others and I'm a big light reflector.

Speaker 1:

I'll walk into the room and be like there's a lightness when you walk in, you sparkle when you walk in and I just think that is such a huge compliment because it's sort of a testament of it. Do my best. It doesn't always unfold this way, but to live from that sole place, and when you live from that sole place in alignment, you do fill it up from the inside out, and I feel like a lot of the work I'm here to do isn't necessarily written down. It's sort of like hold the light up and you don't even know the impact you're having on other people.

Speaker 1:

And then setting them into motion to go have their impact on the world. I will say one other story I want to share because what you said about awakening really hit a chord with me, because you're absolutely right. Like I did have a big aha moment. It was a huge awakening for me at 26, but it didn't undo a lot of the thinking and I had limiting beliefs. I still thought that while I needed to be more introspective, I needed to connect at spirit level and I was doing those things. I still had the. When I get to this next level, then I will become whatever. Fill in the blank, I was still in that mode and it took a really big loss in my life. Several years later I was already married. I think I'd been married for a year and my grandmother, who helped me raise me, passed away suddenly and she was in her 90s and because I was in PR, I was the writer, I was the speaker, I was asked to write the theology for my grandmother and I go back to Maine for the intent of telling her story, which was incredible.

Speaker 1:

My grandmother never went to any school. She had eighth grade education. She grew up on the border of Canada and Maine, like one of a million children in her family, I think they're like 11. And she had eight children. My dad is the youngest, so I'm sort of at the bottom. I'm the oldest of my family but the bottom of many, many cousins. A lot of my aunts and uncles had six kids or more, but my grandmother turns out a lot of lost. Not only was she not what we would consider traditionally accomplished or educated, she was seamstress, working in probably not great conditions for many, many years. She raised children in what was probably what we would call today abject poverty. She lost a daughter to Dipps area who was only eight years old, who I think I reminded them a lot of as I was growing up, and so they had a deep attachment and affection for me. And they lost a son at 19 in the Korean War and they literally had to leave my father in the hospital because my grandmother had just given birth to my father in order to attend for eldest son's funeral. My grandfather became a raging alcoholic. My grandmother became the matriarch. She held everything together and I don't ever remember there being a crafts or bad or ill spoken word on my grandmother's mouth. She was the safe payment for everybody, and whenever I felt like the world was sort of spiraling out of control in my immediate family because it was chaotic. Growing up with young parents who were struggled, I would get my grandmother, and my grandmother would just create the space around me. She was home. If I was sick at school, I'd want them to call my grandmother to come get me so that my grandmother could take care of me.

Speaker 1:

So here I am about to give the Eulogy at my grandmother's funeral, thinking I'm going to relay all these facts on what an amazing person she was. But what I didn't expect is the lesson that was going to be given that day, which is I'm looking out at this church. My grandmother was in her 90s. She doesn't have any friends left. We weren't anticipating a lot of people coming immediate family. It was a packed church and I need standing room only church. And I'm looking around. And who are all these people? And all these people were the children and the grandchildren that my grandmother impacted of her friends and her community, because she was a woman who bloomed where she was at.

Speaker 1:

She radiated a sense of optimism in the darkest of times and she always had hope, no matter what was happening. Remember, my grandfather died years earlier. I was about ready to go live in Spain and they said, grandma, I'm not going, I'm not leaving you alone, I'll stay here. And she said absolutely not. Your grandfather wants you to go, I want you to go. We see the world through you. You're our hope. You need to go.

Speaker 1:

So here I am, about to tell everybody of my grandmother's story, and it dawned on me there, here I was. I'd left my home in this tiny little town. I've gone out into the big world, I've lived in these cosmopolitan cities, I've become, or I'm becoming this more sophisticated career woman, business woman and professional and everything that I was striving to be. My grandmother already was and she had never left our town. And I was just overcome with emotion that if I had become, or if I could become, a woman of substance to a quarter of the percent that my grandmother was, then I would do more than I had ever hoped to in my life. And it took going back home to realize that I never really needed to leave home to do that. My grandmother certainly didn't. But I went on this long journey. I felt like the protagonist had polo-quo-lo's, the alchemist going on this journey, and then it took me coming back home to realize it was always there and I just didn't see it and I didn't understand it.

Speaker 2:

One of the many things that you do so well and that you are taking beautifully in this conversation so far is that you've done a really good job of Disconnecting to the limiting belief that our power and worth comes from external validation, and I think that's probably what led to your burnout in the first place, and I think that a lot of people associate their self-worth based on what they're able to achieve in the physical World, and you've done so much work and what acknowledge you've had for understanding that it's all an inside job, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I Honestly think that what allowed me to have the longevity in my corporate career was those moments of awakening that challenged my inherited belief systems, that really turned them on their head, and my experience of corporate was very different than it otherwise would have been, because I then realized that instead of collecting promotions and salary raises and I have you I was collecting relationships and I was in a place where I worked in global organizations and a lot of people, I traveled a lot, and Each day I would wake up and this was really starting from probably my Late 20s and I would ask one question of myself and it became the question that and I still asked it this day and we talked a lot about this in my family and that is how may I serve?

Speaker 1:

Not what can I get from this, but how may I serve. And I'll tell you an interesting thing I think I got further and Was able to become part of the executive suite and leadership because I had more of a servant leader Mindset that, had I not gone to the dark times, had I not brought my knees, and might not have ever had. Because for years, as a young person, I was all about what can I gain from this, what can I get from this? Not what can I give to this and what can I bring to this. How can I impact someone positively today, how can I connect? And that became really an important part of my feeling of fulfillment was Connecting, and it wasn't just with other people that were on an enlightened path Sometimes it was other people who were really broken but connecting with them and just building the space and saying I see you, I'm here for you Well, words that come to mind.

Speaker 2:

Pain is the portal. All right, we wish that we can have this big awakening, or quantum shift when things are going great. That's just how the world works and our soul needs to go through that heroes journey, so to speak. This is awesome. It really appreciate giving insight. I'm not sure if you talk about this stuff all the time, but I've learned a lot about you so far. That brings us to what you're up to now, and you took very bold, inspired action. You left an unbelievable corporate career in your prime, at the height of it Mostly, but would die to have the position that you had, that you worked so hard for so long, but it occurred to you that it was time for a change. So, aside from this podcast, which all your listeners are hearing right now, what else do you have going on and why did you make this specific show?

Speaker 1:

All right. So let me start with the second question, because I think that's easier context for everything. I had gotten to a place in my career that was really probably the pinnacle on the height, and I Was doing really well. I felt really comfortable, and that is when I knew it was time for a change. Because it got really comfortable and I Remember, because I always knew that at some point in time I would enter this personal development space writing, speaking, inspiring people. I knew that that would need to come, but I needed to go and live my life. I needed to experience these other things.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know how long I was going to go on and for some years I thought well, maybe I just don't have the courage to do it. I was a little tired of myself and what I realized now was I just needed sort of to surrender and Wait. I would get the call. And that's exactly what happened. I was starting to feel really comfortable, like I had had the impact that I was meant to have in that space, that I had been given the opportunity to be very authentic, and when you show up authentically you're a little weird, right, I was a little different in the corporate world.

Speaker 1:

They like her, but she's all weird, like she's really touchy and like she wants to talk to you about feelings and how you're doing and she gets enough out of the matter and you know they'd want me there, they wouldn't really know why they wanted me at the table, and a lot of it was because I would see through a lot of the problems.

Speaker 1:

And when I got to that place where I started to feel like it was too comfortable, I started to say you know, it might be time to make that leap and have a bigger impact on more people. And I remember we were overseas again, traveling, a place where I can have the space to really think and clear my mind and allow the downloads to come. And I just asked you know, I feel really relaxed about making the leap. It no longer made me nervous and the idea of continuing to stay on the path I was on no longer let me up. It felt like I was excited, I had a great run, but I needed something more to do and it was within a month of returning from that trip overseas.

Speaker 1:

I went and resigned and said you know, I didn't have a game plan other than I was gonna start the podcast, we were gonna figure out how to do the public speaking, we were gonna figure out how to write the book, all of these things that are in motion now. I didn't have the five-year plan figured out, but I knew I needed to take the leap and that until I took the leap, nothing was going to start moving, and it really took off pretty quickly. I didn't know a thing about podcasting, but I figured it out and we launched the podcast in January of this year, so we're almost coming up on a year.

Speaker 2:

Congratulations real quickly. Let me just acknowledge you for that, because the podcast is such a big industry and it's only growing. In fact, just recently seeing Arlen Schwarzenegger do his book tour, he was mostly on podcast as opposed to TV appearances, so just shows you how much energy is being poured into this energy. But I saw a very alarming stat that most people start a podcast and quit it to like episode four six. So it's a really big testament and accomplishment that you're approaching your year anniversary and I know you just get warmed up.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. I really appreciate it because you know it's not easy stuff, right? We know that the consistency is where it's all at. We talk about this a lot, but it is really invigorating. It is a privilege to be able to come on to a medium at the podcast and have meaningful conversations with other beings like you and help create this space for greater self-awareness and self-discovery for others. Amazing, like don't you feel like you pinch yourself some days? Like this is what we're doing for work. Isn't this pretty amazing?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely I mean, I get up some days going. This is my job now, but this is my job. This is amazing and I love that people reach out and tell me I will view who are listening right now to be able to hear from you and let me know what hits a chord with you, what you want to hear more of. Just kind of fuels the fire to keep going and to keep adding.

Speaker 2:

And also I just want to say this straight off the cuff this has been really juicy. Whoever has the best nugget and takeaway from all the beautiful vulnerability that Michelle shared today, take a screenshot of the episode when you're listening to her. Take both her and I, and we'll do a little giveaway. We'll select one who has the best nugget from what you said today and I'll send them a signed copy of my book and we could do something else as well. I know there's a lot of people out there that want to be around your energy and want to get involved, and just the simple fact that you didn't have to step into this space you wanted to, you felt called, you felt like you could make more of an impact. I think there's something so pure and beautiful about that and that's why it's working. In my opinion, You're doing it for the right reasons. So, for everybody listening right now that wants a bigger piece of you, how can they possibly get involved a little bit deeper than just listening to the podcast?

Speaker 1:

Well, thank you for asking. One of the things that I'm really passionate about is coaching. I've been doing it within the corporate arena for many, many years both teams and clients and it's been some things that I have just enjoyed thoroughly, and now I'm going to be doing this on an ongoing basis. It's already kicked off, so if you're interested in coaching or somebody out there is considering coaching, reach out to me. You can look at my website at Michelle Rias official. You can find me on LinkedIn, or certainly I'm very active on Instagram, as you know, so you can DM me and we can set up a call and talk more about what you're hoping to do in your own life.

Speaker 2:

I really wanted to land a plane with this one. So many people are not happy with what they're doing. In fact, I saw a stat that only 20% of Americans actually find purpose in the work that they do. It's disappointing. I also can relate, because that used to be me a few years back. You've actually proven that you can make a shift, and you did showcase remarkable boldness and courage. What does it take for somebody listening right now that's in an arena that no longer feels really aligned to them to step out and do something? Maybe not the same, but something totally different. Just the way you showcased.

Speaker 1:

Well, I would say changing jobs is not the answer. If you do not heal, if you do not do the inner work, it doesn't matter where you move to, what house you're in or what job you go to, it's all going to feel much like the same. So, before you make the big jump, do the work. Find a coach, talk to somebody, really go on that self-discovery journey, because I'm a firm believer that, regardless of where you're planted, when you know what your gifts are, you can find great purpose and great satisfaction. And if, once you do that, you still don't feel the place that you're in is the right place, then you make a jump. I don't think you always need to like, I just need to jump. I need to try something new.

Speaker 1:

I do think reinvention happens in different ways for different people and you know this too, craig right, sometimes you need to like rip the bandaid off, burn the ships and just level the playing field. But not everybody has the wherewithal of even where to start. And I do think part of that journey is asking the critical question Okay, you're not happy, what do you want? What does that look like? What does that feel like? Not just I want another house or I want another car. Those things are great. Don't get me wrong, I'm off-order. I have a nice house, I have a nice car, but those things would be hollow and really meaningless without having the foundation of knowing my purpose and doing that in our work and recognizing that this is a spiritual journey Barn on. So if you really want to find happiness in your vocation, go on that journey of understanding who you are, what you want, what your gifts are. But specifically, I'm a big believer in leaning into what brings you joy, and I don't mean fleeting happiness of watching Netflix and eating a good pizza. I mean, what are those skills, what are those things that you do that are naturally gifted at that bring you joy?

Speaker 1:

For me, it's always been writing and public speaking. There was no doubt in my mind that somehow that would be something I would do. So when the early days when I was thinking going to law school, I knew that I'd be a great litigator. That's what I was going to do. I ended up being in public relations, which, not surprisingly, requires great communication skills, storytelling ability, and that, to me, is recognizing that those were always, no matter what I was doing, what made me stand out were those gifts. So how can I use them in a different way, in a different setting?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I love what you said there, because it's only through our spiritual work that we can really connect to infinite light that actually brings lasting fulfillment, not the short term stuff. Love that you touched upon that. All right, it's been really really fun, special and an honor to work with you Very intimately over the last six months. What is the best or biggest nugget or takeaway that you learned from me or that I gave you?

Speaker 1:

Oh, consistency is the key. I get hit over the head with that because I think a lot of people who are in personal development that enjoy and understand connecting with people and storytelling and writing and all of these creative because they are very much creative outlets Our which from them on consistency can be a problem because we get shiny object syndrome. There are a lot of things we want to do. We want to do it all yesterday. We want to go set the world on fire immediately and there is a discipline that needs to happen in order to make sure that the energy and the focus that you need to have to get something off the ground is there. So I would say one of the things watching you weekend, week out, not only with the CLS experience but also with the paradigm shift, that you show up and you are consistent and you don't miss a beat, and that's really rubbed off, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I received that beautifully said and the good news is for everyone listening, that's, the power is accessible to all of us. If you want to tap it, all right, all right. What are you most jazzed about right now? I think it's 2024.

Speaker 1:

I am super excited for the book. It's been something that I've been working on now for a bit, and I know that it's going to come alive in 2024. So I'm super excited about that. I'm also super excited to do more coaching, to work with more people. I've always been in an environment where I'm working with a lot of people, and what some people might not be aware of is when you make the decision to become an entrepreneur, it can get very lonely, like we're doing interviews and we're meeting people, but a lot of your day is actually on your own, as you're making plans, developing systems, creating your signature talks, whatever is you're working on. Getting back into the practice of working with individuals and coaching is something that I love, I'm excited about, I'm excited for expanding the practice, so that's something else that I am super jazzed about going into this next year.

Speaker 2:

I came with a watch and a fold. And last but certainly not least, what did I not ask you today that you would like your listeners to hear?

Speaker 1:

You know you are so good, but I would say let me leave you with this. I made this jump in my early 50s and a lot of people listening are going to be younger, some are going to be older and we've talked about this before. But I cannot overemphasize this your time is your timing and when it is time, it does not matter whether you're 16, 26, 56, 76, whatever make the leap, you will know when you're ready and you'll know when it's your time. And I think that recognition of you're never too old it's never too late. I could have easily said hit 25. I felt washed up at 26 when I was having this dark moment. I thought it was over. You lack perspective. Here I am, 26 years later, feeling more vibrant, more alive, more excited about what's to come than I felt then, in the height of my youth. So you're never too old, you're never too late.

Speaker 2:

This was really special. You know how much I respect you. I love you. I'm so pumped for all to come in 2024. This is really fun, michelle. Once you know you the definition of authenticity, drive and beautiful high vibes I could personally guarantee that your best is yet to come. Keep on spreading your wings and leaving your mark on this world. So much love and respect to you. Thank you so much for creating the space and allowing me to ask you these priceless juicy nuggets today.

Speaker 1:

Craig. Thank you so much, my dear friend, and then for this been an absolute honor to be interviewed by you. I'm excited. Thank you so much. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening into this episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life Podcast and don't forget if this podcast impacted you, please reach out and let us know. We'd love to hear what nugget from this week's episode really touched you. Tag myself, tag Craig on Instagram or Facebook. Let us know and we'll be in touch with some goodies. All right, everyone, take care. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please take a moment to rate and review. If you have recommendations for future topics, please reach out to me at MichelleRiosOfficialcom. Lastly, please consider supporting this podcast by sharing it. Together, we can reach, inspire and positively impact more people. Thank you,

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Michelle Rios

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