Have you ever considered that the stories you tell yourself might be scripting your life? We all have a story we tell ourselves every day about who we are, what we're worthy of, and what's possible for us. Sometimes we're highly aware of; but often these stories run on repeat subconsciously in our minds. Some stories propel us forward, while others hold us back.
Understanding the power of your personal story is probably one of the most important principles to master in terms of creating a life you love or your terms. Too often we cling to stories that no longer serve us.
What's the story you're telling yourself? If its anything other than something you want to experience in your life, its time to rewrite your story.
Join me for this enlightening episode, as I delve into the power of our personal narratives and how my own story shaped my life. I'll also share my tips for flipping the script and crafting a personal story that helps pave the way toward your next chapter!
Have you ever considered that the stories you tell yourself might be scripting your life? We all have a story we tell ourselves every day about who we are, what we're worthy of, and what's possible for us. Sometimes we're highly aware of; but often these stories run on repeat subconsciously in our minds. Some stories propel us forward, while others hold us back.
Understanding the power of your personal story is probably one of the most important principles to master in terms of creating a life you love or your terms. Too often we cling to stories that no longer serve us.
What's the story you're telling yourself? If its anything other than something you want to experience in your life, its time to rewrite your story.
Join me for this enlightening episode, as I delve into the power of our personal narratives and how my own story shaped my life. I'll also share my tips for flipping the script and crafting a personal story that helps pave the way toward your next chapter!
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. I'm your host, michelle Rios. Before we delve into this week's episode, I just want to take a minute and let you know that my new website, michelleriosofficialcom is now live. If you haven't yet gone to check it out, I encourage you to do so, and I want to point out a couple of things that you can find on the website. The first is a free guide on the homepage toward the bottom, titled the Five Principles for Living an Extraordinary Life. Just click on the get your free guide and, voila, you can download it immediately. The guide is designed to give you a flavor of the questions you need to ask yourself to start living your best life. There are even some exercises that you can do on your own. And while you're there, scroll down just below the free guide and you'll find the wait list for my upcoming book due out later this year. You can sign up and I'll send you updates on when the book will be available, how to purchase and the book launch events in your area. So thank you so much for checking it out.
Speaker 1:
Now let's delve into this week's topic on personal narratives. We all have a story that we tell ourselves every day. Whether we realize it or not, there is a script that's running in our minds over and over again, day in and day out, about who we are, what we deserve, what we're capable of and what's possible for us. These stories may be something we're consciously aware of and perhaps, maybe even proactively, say aloud to ourselves, but oftentimes these stories that we tell ourselves are based on inherited beliefs or even past experiences, and these beliefs may be subconsciously running the script in our minds without our full awareness. So what's the story that you tell yourself about your life, about who you are and what's possible for you? Do you look back at the stories from past experiences and let those play on repeat in your mind, or are you breathing life into your future and letting a new story unfold? Some stories inspire us forward while others hold us back, and understanding the power of our personal stories is probably the most important topic we'll ever talk about on this podcast in terms of creating the foundation for living an extraordinary life, because if we don't learn to master our own story, we'll become a slave to it. Your personal story is at the heart and center of what you can control. Personal narratives, whether we are aware of it or not, not only shape our thinking and our beliefs, but they shape our actions, which ultimately determine our reality and pave the way to our future. And so, with that said, I want you to take a minute and just sit back in your chair or wherever you are, and I want you, for a moment, to ask yourself what's the story that you tell yourself day in and day out about yourself, about your life, your marriage, your relationships, your job, your career, your prospects, your children, your future? Now, ask yourself children, your future. Now ask yourself is that story propelling you forward or is it holding you back? If that story is anything other than what you want to experience, it's time to rewrite your story. I was first introduced to the power of our personal stories well before I understood what it meant, which underscores the power of stories. You don't even need to be aware of it or even understand how it works for it to be a powerful force that shapes your life.
Speaker 1:
As many of you are aware, I was born into fairly humble circumstances, to teenage parents in rural Maine. Money was tight and there was no one really to look to as a model of success. Not an ideal scenario. But for the first seven years of life I was blissfully unaware of the precarious circumstances of my arrival. It wasn't until late July of 1978, at a gathering to celebrate my parents' eighth wedding anniversary with my entire extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and lots of cousins, that I was informed. Coincidentally, this celebration was also just two months shy of my own eighth birthday. I had no idea of the significance of these two seemingly coincidental facts, that is, until one of my older cousins, for reasons still unknown to me, decided to use that occasion to enlighten me.
Speaker 1:
So when I arrived with my family at my aunt's house, I immediately went to search for my older cousins, most of whom were full-fledged teenagers by this point. After the obligatory greetings and hugs, we settled into our normal routine where my little brother, who was only three at the time, entertained everyone by playing, play wrestling with the older cousins, and one of my cousins, who was significantly older than me, about 10 years, tugged at one of my ponytails, as he often did teasingly. As I twirled around in my little dress and bid for attention from the older kids and he had a mischievous smile on his face he said in a very matter-of-fact tone, loud enough for every one of the cousins to hear you're an accident. Everyone burst out laughing. And being only seven, I laughed right along with them, pretending to be in on the joke. But then, in that sing-song voice that kids use when teasing one another, he repeated himself You're an accident, you're an accident. I stopped laughing. It was clear he was making fun of me and it didn't feel funny at all. Confused, I angrily fired back no, I'm not, take it back. And that's when my cousin took it upon himself to explain don't you get it, michelle? Your parents didn't plan you. We're celebrating their eighth wedding anniversary and you'll be eight in two months. Do you really think they wanted to have a baby when they were just teenagers? You're an accident.
Speaker 1:
I remember that moment like it was yesterday. While I knew my mother was young, I had no idea at the time that my mother was only 16 and a sophomore in high school and that my dad was not even quite 18 and a senior when my mom got pregnant. How would I know? I was only seven. I also didn't know that my mother, who had an uncanny resemblance to the young Princess Carolina Monaco, was swiftly kicked out of her all-girls Catholic school where she had been a straight-A student and track star, as well as her own family home, where she was the middle of five children out of fear that her pregnancy would be a bad influence on the other children. I also didn't know that my dad the smartest person I knew had to work two jobs right out of high school to support us, and that we lived with my parental grandparents for a couple of years while my parents worked to save money.
Speaker 1:
But as I stood there in the living room of my aunt's house staring unbelievingly at my cousin, my cheeks beet red with embarrassment. Shame washed over me like a wave, my eyes welled up with tears and really, in less than three minutes since arriving, less than three minutes since arriving, my whole sense of identity and self-worth had been decimated by three cruel words you're an accident. And just when the moment seemed to stretch into an eternity, my grandmother peeked around the corner and asked if anyone wanted cake. All my cousins made a beeline to the kitchen where my parents, surrounded by my entire family, everyone I knew and loved were laughing and celebrating. I wanted to run and hide, but instead I hastily wiped my eyes and followed everyone in the kitchen for cake. Personal stories are funny. We all have them, but it's only the ones we truly buy into that stick. And that's precisely what happened to me.
Speaker 1:
For the remaining time at that family gathering, which couldn't have been more than two or three hours, I sat quietly near my parents, studying their faces, wondering what my cousin said was true and questioning my entire existence and if I was an accident. Did my parents even want me? Everything took an unexpected twist and turn. Later that night, upon arriving home from the anniversary party, I mustered the courage to climb out of bed, walk down the hallway to the living room and face my parents. I stood there in front of them in my pajamas, with crocodile-sized tears streaming down my face, and sheepishly asked and sheepishly asked am I an accident? They stared back at me blankly from the black leather sofa of our 1970s living room, complete with the green shag rug, unsure of what to say. I'm sure they could feel the pain radiating from my little seven-year-old heart, pain radiating from my little seven-year-old heart. But once I explained what had transpired earlier in the evening, they didn't deny it.
Speaker 1:
Instead, my father picked me up, sat me on his lap and looked deeply into my eyes and said listen carefully, you might not have been planned. But you're not an accident. Do you hear me? You're exactly what this world needs. You're exactly what our family needs. You came into this world to do great things. You're a shining star and you're going to set the world on fire. Don't ever forget that. And I believed him every single word. In an instant, I went from feeling deep shame and questioning my existence to believing that I was on a mission. I was here to do great things and change my family's future. So I got busy.
Speaker 1:
That story that my father planted in seven-year-old me filled me with expectation and propelled me forward, no matter what happened or what was going on in my life in those early years. I was on a mission, and that story was reinforced at nightly dinners around our table. You need to pave the way for your younger siblings, michelle. We're counting on you to set the bar high. I had that story on repeat in my mind, day in and day out, for years. As a result, I graduated top of my class, was the first in my family to go to college and then graduate school, graduated top of those classes with highest honors and full scholarships. I was the first to travel and live overseas and become fluent in a second language. That story was a gift that propelled me forward. It gave me the grit and resilience to keep going when things got hard. That story was a script that not only changed the trajectory of my life, but that of my entire family.
Speaker 1:
If anybody's looked at the statistics, children of teen pregnancies who are born into lower-income working-class families don't fare well. They have a higher-than-average probability of becoming teenage parents themselves not finishing secondary school and likely experiencing some type of substance abuse. I'm very happy to say that none of these situations played out in my life. Is it because of the personal narrative that my father gave me? I am certain 100% that it is. Had I not clung to that higher vision that my parents planted in me, I'm not sure of how things would have turned out. That is the power of the stories we tell ourselves. Now, to be sure, there were other storylines at play in my life that did not help propel me forward, growing up in lower income working class families.
Speaker 1:
I can't begin to tell you the number of times I heard money doesn't grow on trees, michelle, and work isn't supposed to be fun. It's work. It's supposed to be hard, or life isn't fair. Get over it. Maybe you heard this too, but as a result, I inherited some limiting beliefs that, despite the success I experienced for years, held me back from reaching my full potential. Held me back from reaching my full potential.
Speaker 1:
Like so many, I grew up with a scarcity mindset. Some people had money. I didn't. That I knew, and I believed and ran a script in my mind to support that if I wanted to get some money the kind of money that allows you to jump socioeconomic classes and experience true financial security I had to suffer as a result. For decades, I toiled at my career, often the sacrifice of my health and my relationships. I saved every penny I earned and I never really took a vacation. Money conversations gave me a headache and made me anxious.
Speaker 1:
Now, to be sure, I did benefit from some of these behaviors to a certain extent. My work ethic earned me two master's degrees that were fully paid for by scholarships. I experienced a fairly consistent upward trajectory throughout my public relations career, which ultimately landed me in the executive suite, and my extreme frugality in those early years enabled me to save up a nice nest egg which my husband and I would use later on to buy our first home. At the same time, however, this scarcity mindset and storyline I had, on repeat, resulted in chronic burnout and acute depression, particularly early on in my career. In fact, it took me hitting rock bottom. In fact, it took me hitting rock bottom in my mid to late 20s and getting on a personal development journey before that storyline would change for me.
Speaker 1:
But once I became truly aware of the power of personal stories, my life transformed. I had already built a good life, but understanding how to craft and harness the power of my own personal narrative has allowed me to go from ordinary to extraordinary, really in every area of my life Health, wealth, happiness, peace, relationships, you name it. And the reality is, the concept of owning your personal narrative is very simple, but it's not always easy to implement. It takes practice and it all starts with awareness. So now I want to bring the focus back to you, my listener. I want you to go ahead, hit pause and grab a notebook and pen or your phone so that you can talk into the memos section Whatever's most comfortable for you.
Speaker 1:
Awareness of what the story or stories that you tell yourself are is step number one. So what are those stories that you're currently telling yourself about who you are, what you're worthy of and what's possible for you. You're on a fact-gathering mission. Don't judge what comes up. Just jot down what the beliefs and stories are you've been telling yourself, maybe your entire life, or maybe just lately. Okay, next, with this information in mind, ask yourself is the story to do something that the majority of people on this planet will never do? If, however, the story you've been telling yourself does not support a current reality or a future that you want to live, it's time to flip the script and rewrite your story. And rewrite your story. The reality is your thoughts, and these stories you've told yourself over and over again have created your current reality. So, if you don't like what you're currently living, check the story that you're telling yourself. The great news is, you are master and commander of this personal narrative and you have the power to change it at any time. In the wise words of the late Dolores Cannon, you are the writer, the director and the producer of your life. If you don't like what you're living, you get to change it at any time.
Speaker 1:
I've caught myself from time to time particularly when I'm tired or something unpleasant has occurred or I'm having just a moment of self-doubt saying things like oh, this is so hard, I don't know if I can do it. What if my book doesn't resonate? What if the podcast doesn't grow? But then I catch myself and remind myself that I'm in charge of the script. Is it really hard? Or am I falling back on old patterns like overwork, worrying about things that have not yet come to be, or even just delaying joy, which, let me tell you, is a real creativity blocker? These are all things that do not serve me, nor do they serve you, and it's a stark reminder that we need to be vigilant of the stories of that script that we run in our minds at all times. When that happens, I know it's time to take a break. Go for a walk, change your physiology, call a friend or simply rest.
Speaker 1:
And I journal, which is where I not only jot down the stories I want to experience, but I also give gratitude for it, as if it's already happened. Because if it's in my heart to do, and I've written or spoken it into being, I've already called the experience into existence. And now I can relax, knowing it's on its way. You get to change the storyline, you get to change the plot line at any time. So grab your notebook and start crafting your story now, this is art more than science, but there are some parameters. But there are some parameters for rewriting your story that I want to share. Number one write your new story in present tense using I am statements. So, for example, part of my personal narrative is I am the host of one of the fastest growing personal development podcasts in the world. And guess what? The Live your Extraordinary Life podcast is indeed one of the fastest growing podcasts on the planet. It ranks in the top 2% globally and it keeps climbing. Number two if you want to supercharge your narrative, start each sentence with I am so grateful now that whatever you want to experience is happening for me. So, for example, before this podcast reached the success it currently enjoys, I wrote in my journal every morning I'm so grateful now that I have a top, globally rated podcast that's inspiring and positively impacting millions of lives. Today I've added I'm so grateful that my best-selling book is inspiring millions of people the world over to create their extraordinary lives. I've incorporated this into my daily practice, even while I'm still developing the manuscript, because as we think and speak, so shall it be.
Speaker 1:
I want to thank you all for tuning into this week's episode of the Live your Extraordinary Life podcast. It's been my distinct pleasure to be with you on this personal development journey. This is the work. I encourage you not to just stick your toe in the water, but jump fully in and allow yourself to marinate in these messages. The more time that you spend in personal development, the more transformation you'll experience. I hope that you'll spend some time over the next few days thinking about this episode because, again, this is the work. This is the foundation for developing your full potential and living your extraordinary life.
Speaker 1:
Go through the exercises we discussed and if you found this episode to be inspiring to you, will you do me a favor? Will you share this with somebody who needs this message? The more people we can reach with this podcast, the more people we can positively impact. So I hope that you'll help me in sharing this podcast and reaching even more people around the globe. I also hope that you'll spend some time if you're not already following me on social media.
Speaker 1:
There is a lot that I can't do in this format that I try to do on a daily basis in social media to continue to inspire people on a daily basis. So if you're on Facebook, you can find me by my name, michelle Corrigan Rios three separate words. If you're on Instagram, you can find me at Michelle Rios Official. And, again, if you haven't checked it out, I highly encourage you to go take a tour of my new website at michelleriosofficialcom and, when you get there, go look at some of the downloadable free resources and make sure you get on the wait list for the book. Again, thank you for your time. Thank you for tuning in. As always, it's been an absolute pleasure to spend this time with you and I hope that you'll go forth and live your extraordinary life.
