Aligning Your Career with Your True Self: Insights from Tammy Alvarez

Unlock the secrets to transforming your career and reclaiming your passion with our special guest, Tammy Alvarez, founder of the Career Winners Circle. Tammy's journey from a 25-year Wall Street career to founding a coaching company  is nothing short of inspiring. Discover how leveraging neurodiverse traits as strengths and aligning personal desires with career aspirations can help you overcome perceived barriers and find true fulfillment in your professional life.

Ever felt stuck in a career that leaves you dreading Mondays? We unpack the valuable insights from "Escaping the Career Trap: Transform Your Apathy into Ambition and Never Hate Mondays Again." This episode emphasises the importance of treating your career like a business and becoming the CEO of your own life. Learn to make empowered decisions that not only enhance job satisfaction but also improve your overall well-being and relationships. It's time to reclaim your ambition and create a fulfilling career path.

Finally, we dive into the evolving work dynamics and the impact of generational shifts in values. From traditional corporate roles to the gig economy and portfolio careers, we discuss how different paths provide varying levels of satisfaction. With personal anecdotes and a focus on the importance of self-awareness, we guide you in choosing a career path that aligns with your true motivations. Plus, discover the NeuroEnigma  membership, a supportive community for neurodivergent individuals offering career and business mentorship, mental health well-being days, and much more. Don't miss out on these transformative insights and personal stories that can help you find purpose and impact in your professional journey.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

And the phone rings and so his admin puts it through, and I know he did this as a power play, Sarah, I'm convinced, Because he knew who it was and he put it on speaker and on the other end of the phone I hear the voice and my jaw drops. Basically, the guy on the other end of the phone is like hey, dude, how'd I do last night? No, I'm paraphrasing it was John McCain the day after his first debate with Barack Obama. Wow.

Speaker 2: 0:38

Hello and welcome to Divine Eggma, a podcast that talks about how to navigate through the complexities of the workplace as a modern day professional, whilst simultaneously having a side hustle. We appreciate all of our audience members for taking some time out of their day to tune into another episode and look forward to providing you all with some value through our show today. My name is Sarah and I will be the host for this podcast. This podcast will be available on all platforms where you can find podcasts, including Spotify, amazon, apple Podcasts, and we're also on YouTube. Now, before we dive in, I have a small favour to ask. Creating this podcast takes a lot of time and energy, and every bit of support helps me keep it going and growing. If you're enjoying the show, five star rate comment on Apple Podcasts or Spotify can make a significant difference in helping new listeners discover us. Your support is invaluable in our growth journey. And if you're also watching on YouTube, hit the subscribe button and tap the bell so you never miss an episode. Want to show your appreciation more? You can even buy me a coffee through Buy Me A Coffee page. It's a simple way to support the show directly and helps cover production costs. Together, we can build an incredible community for ambitious professionals like you. Thank you for your support. It means more than you know. Now let's get started.

Speaker 2: 2:21

Hey, tammy, welcome to Divining Eggma. Thank you so much for coming on to today's show. Yeah, we always love people that come here, that are business driven, that want people to elevate and level up and do well in their career. So thank you so much, and you'll be an excellent um excellent guest for our audience members, because they'll really get a lot of value from you today. So, um, I'd like you to introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about yourself, what you do, um and yeah, and what value you feel you can bring to the podcast. And also like um, yeah, just just particularly because it's a neurodivergent podcast. Yeah, just explain. You know how how much career and development of people in their career is for you as an author as well. So, yes, please introduce yourself.

Speaker 1: 3:20

So much to dig into, and I'm super excited to talk to your community today about how we can use our differences to succeed, because so many times we use our differences and think they're limiting factors and they're going to hold us back and we can't do all the amazing things that we know we can do, for whatever reason and we'll go into my history in just a second, but in terms of a cliffhanger, there was this epic moment where I realized that all the things I was trying to hide about who I was and how my brain worked and I thought that was my Achilles heel turned into my superpower, and I can't wait to share that with your audience so they can internalize that and find their path forward as well.

Speaker 2: 4:09

So first of all, I'm Tammy.

Speaker 1: 4:10

Alvarez and I am the founder of the Career Wonder Circle, where we empower business leaders to make a big impact and love every Monday again. And it is so much fun running a company whose sole purpose on this planet is to evangelize the concept that loving monday is not a pipe dream, it's an absolute necessity, and then giving businesses and people the tools to do that and step back into control, instead of saying, oh, the economy's bad, everybody's getting laid off. I got a hundred to my desk and hope I don't get fired. And so my career. I was in and around wall street for 25 years and I became a c-level executive and ultimately managed.

Speaker 1: 4:48

I don't know it's like 2,500 people in 35 countries and all kinds of big things and I loved all of it until I didn't. And then, when I decided that this career that I had put all of my time, energy, focus and love in no longer served me, then I decided it was time for a change, and a radical change. So I cashed out of Wall Street, moved to a tropical island off the coast of Belize in Central America and started this coaching company, and I had no idea what I was doing. I made all the mistakes you could possibly imagine, but six years later we've got a team of coaches and we're serving clients around the world. So eventually I was able to figure that out, and that's what gives me so much passion to be able to take my learnings and help people that are in your community and around the world make a better future for themselves and make a better present for themselves. And so that's just a little bit about me.

Speaker 2: 5:41

So some of my audience might think I mean this is amazing for you and you've managed to make it to the top and you've done that. But how is that possible for me? You know, some might say you know, you know I have a neurodiverse condition, you know, it's just difficult for me to get to this top and I know, I know it's possible, I know you can make it there. But there'll be some of the audience members but that might think, well, how is it possible for me? I mean, you've done it. I don't know how that's possible for me. I have so many barriers and there are.

Speaker 1: 6:15

The barriers are real, yeah, and I think the first thing to think about is do you even want it, like we're supposed to want these things? We're supposed to want to grow and become a leader and make more money and do all these things. Do you want that? Because if you don't, then that's okay too. So I think the first thing we want to do is get really clear with where our ambition lies and how we define success for ourselves. I believe is seasonal, and sometimes in your life you want more. Other times you want to take a step back and be able to enjoy other aspects of our lives, and so the first thing is you know what are you chasing and where do you do that?

Speaker 1: 6:55

For me, while I do not have a neurodivergent condition, I did not come through the ranks like everyone else. When I was 15, my dad and my mom split up and then, a few months later, my mom's sister and I became homeless and I never went to college. I didn't get my degree until I was 40. And, moving into tech and into financial services, I was often the only female and the youngest leader. I didn't look like everybody else, I didn't think like everybody else and I didn't come through the ranks like everybody else. And those were the secrets that I hid so closely. Because I felt that, because I didn't have a degree, because I was poor, because it was a woman that I was less than and I had the benefit of some really great mentors along my way. But what I learned over time, it took an epic moment. I'll share my epic oh my God moment with you in just a minute.

Speaker 1: 7:54

But I spent at least 15 years pretending to be something I wasn't, 15 years hiding the fact that I hated math and I wasn't good at it, and in financial services. That's probably not a great thing to admit. Right, I don't believe letters and numbers should be together. I don't think that's natural, but I'm so thankful for people who do, because that's what we have science and medicine. But that is not how my brain works, and there were so many parts of what I thought were my deficiencies and I never gave myself credit for the things that came naturally to me but that everyone else saw.

Speaker 1: 8:35

And that is, I think, the thing I want your audience to walk away with. Is we spend so much time thinking about what are my challenges? What am I different? What is in my way, versus saying, okay, so those things are there and they're true, but because of those, they create strengths and superpowers and other areas that people don't have. And so how do you tap? First of all, how do you, how do you realize what that is? Then how do you tap into that to really start to you know, step into your own, and then, ultimately, how do you turn that into your superpower to take you where you need to be?

Speaker 1: 9:10

And I'll never forget this one moment I had. This is my like. I'm like. I really wish I had learned this 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of crying and anxiety. And I was dealing with a very major issue during the financial crisis, and I was traveling the world trying to keep regulators happy, and there was this very, very, very, very very senior person that I needed to get him to agree to something in the EU so we could move forward. And so I was in his giant office and, you know, in Wall Street, we were screaming at each other. It was a cage match and I'm terrified.

Speaker 2: 9:49

But back is straight and I'm like I'm here to do a job.

Speaker 1: 9:51

I can do this and I'm trying to hold my own with this guy who I feel like clearly a million levels above me, and the phone rings, and so his admin puts it through and I know he did this as a power play, sarah, I'm convinced, because he knew who it was and he put it on speaker. And on the other end of the phone I hear the voice and my jaw drops. Basically, the guy on the other end of the phone's like hey, dude, how'd I do last night? No, I'm paraphrasing, it was John McCain. Now I'm paraphrasing it was John McCain the day after his first debate with Barack Obama.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Wow, I was like, what am I doing here? Like I do not belong here. And you know, I listened to this conversation. I listened to this executive giving John advice on what he thought went well and what didn't. That went on for about 20 minutes. He hung up.

Speaker 1: 10:42

We continued our fight. Of course I lost because I was jaw struck at this point. And then I ran to my boss's office and I swear she probably thought I was a lunatic Because I walked in. I closed the door. I'm like what am I doing here? I don't have compliance. I'm not a lawyer, I don't know, and I'm going over all the things that I am not good at, I'm like I don't belong here. And then she just let me vent. And then she started to laugh at me. She's like are you done yet? But I'm like, yeah, I guess so. And then she's like you're here because you're not part of the problem. You're here because you were different from everyone else and you're here because you're willing to say the things that no one else wants to hear and push things, get things done. And that was the first time ever that I realized that I wasn't there, despite my differences. I was there because of my differences.

Speaker 2: 11:33

And that's so important for people to understand. You know your difference is clearly your superpower. It's clearly what makes you stand out. Sometimes we focus on the fact that we're not like everyone and we want to be like everyone, but what you don't, what you have, that no one else has is what will stand, make you stand out and essentially, especially when you put that in environments where what comes naturally to you, and however it comes, is in high demand and insurance supply.

Speaker 1: 12:04

And the reality is, when we try and hide the things that we're gonna, we think we're fooling everyone, but we're fooling no one. Right, like as soon as I finally, I'm like I suck at math I was like we know, I'm like, okay, so what do we do about this? Because I've got to make very important decisions that affect the whole world and I don't understand the data and so that's very typical of a lot of neurodiverse people in the workplace what we call masking.

Speaker 2: 12:28

You're masking your disability or your neurodiverse condition because you don't want to be judged, you don't want to be looked at in a somewhat incompetent way, whereas you're not looking at what brought you there. There's a reason why you're there, there's a reason why you're in those rooms, but sometimes you can't see that reason because you're focused so much on the problem or the issue or the thing that doesn't fit in to what society expects you to look like or be like, or what you think society expects you to look like, or what for exactly?

Speaker 1: 12:58

Because a lot of this is in our own heads.

Speaker 1: 13:00

There's always bad actors, but I think there're very few and far between.

Speaker 1: 13:07

And when I finally fessed up to all the things that I wasn't good at, that everyone knew anyway and said okay, I've got big decisions to make, but I need help putting this in terms. I understand I didn't use the term dumbed down because I didn't need a dumbed down, but I I needed it reframed. So instead of sending me an Excel spreadsheet with 7 million rows and 17 pivot tables, I'm like I need you to draw me a picture so I can see this. And that was actually harder than sending me the spreadsheet, because then they had to actually understand. And I think the more we can be honest with our colleagues in the way we take in information and why we need their help to put it in a way that will allow us to be more effective for them ourselves in the organization, then it becomes no big deal. Like everybody knew before these big meetings we'd have to pre-game the day before and that you better get your crayons out because I wanted pictures and you know and then at least like okay, be like okay.

Speaker 1: 14:06

I understand the concept. Now Show me the data. Where is this telling me that this is right? Where can I be challenged? What should I worry about? What kind of questions should I be asking? And when you lean on the strength of people who have skills you don't and then present that as a unified solution, not pretending you did it all by yourself, then everybody wins. And now you don't feel like the hot man out anymore.

Speaker 2: 14:29

I wanted to um, I love that, you know, I love that, Tammy, I love that story. I wanted to ask you more about the book you wrote called the Career Trap. First of all, the title Career Trap yeah, I actually like that title because a lot of us can be stuck in our in our career or in our jobs and feel like we can't get out. We're like stuck, we don't know whether we're going left or right, or up or down, we don't know if you even want to go up, and we almost become comfortable with that. But we know that something in us innately needs to change. So tell me about the book and you know why you thought it would be a good idea or a good vision you had for yourself to write a book about the career track.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Yeah, so I'll give you a visual for those who are watching. Right, so it's Escaping the Career Trap. Transform your Apathy into ambition and never hate Mondays again. And, sarah, you said something that's exactly right. We get comfortable, and I am convinced from a career perspective that complacency and comfort is the new smoking. It will kill, and you don't have to be overambitious every minute of every day. You don't have to be super ambitious every minute of every day, but I think when things are good enough, when things are okay, not that bad, then we are putting ourselves at significant risk From our own personal sense of value and contribution and impact, from the value we deliver to an organization and, ultimately, to how we show up as a person, because I've not met anyone who can effectively compartmentalize. And so if your job sucks, most of your life does too right, and then it starts to level everything. You start working out again and you start hanging out with your friends again, and so there's so much that goes into career fulfillment and there are so many people that are disenfranchised and don't know how to get out.

Speaker 1: 16:30

I would consider it an epidemic, and hating Mondays and feeling like you're stuck in this soul-crushing grind and realizing that I don't know how to get out of this. I know what I don't like, but I don't know. What I do want to do is something that affects everyone, from the CEO to the intern. No one gets a pass on this one, and it's what you do, it's what you're willing to accept, that will change the trajectory of your life. And, sarah, I'm not an airy-fairy girl, right? So we're not going to manifest our way to success, although I do think mindset is important. But when you get this right as an individual, and when companies get this right to know how to tap into the ambition of their teams, they become an unstoppable force. And that's what I want for everyone. That's why I wrote the book, because there is a way to say I deserve to love every Monday, I deserve to play to my strengths and that when I do that, not only is my life better, but my job is better. The people that love me are better and the people I work with are better.

Speaker 1: 17:35

And that's really what the book is about is, how do you get to the point where you are treating your career like a business, because I just promote everyone. So, sarah, now you are the CEO of you Incorporated and you get to be the big guy, you get to be the head concho, and when you treat your career like a business and you become that CEO, you make different decisions. You make better decisions and instead of feeling like the system has failed you in some way right, you didn't get promoted, your work's not recognized, people don't appreciate your strengths and the system has failed you. Well, now you realize that the system paves the roads. They set the guardrails so you're going to go off the edge and they actually set the speed limit. But you're driving the car and you can decide what road you're going to take, how fast you're really going to drive and what music you're going to play as you're going along, and that's such an empowering feeling.

Speaker 1: 18:33

But not just having that feeling, but having the tactics to do it well is really where all the difference is made, and that's what the book does, is it takes the readers or the listeners, because we have an audio book as well for anybody who doesn't like to read or is challenged with reading right, so, um, and really be able to get you to the point where you know exactly what to do in terms of the inner work, but also the tactics do this, not that show up this way. Based on my decades of experience, it's.

Speaker 2: 19:03

It's making me think of, like, how people there's and I'm thinking of three types of people, and this is what is like going in my mind. We get the one person who will stay in a job and will hopefully somehow get promoted or stay in the same level and, just do you know, go to go to, I guess, go to primary school, secondary school, college in America, they call it, or university here, we call it in the uk then get a job or graduate scheme and then somehow kind of work their way up in the corporate world. Then I'm thinking of another person that might decide okay, I've maybe finished uni or I'm going to do some kind of apprenticeship and I might contract and I'll be kind of like a contractor, or do this, go for the self-employment route. And then we got the other person who will say look, I'm going to go all in, I want to create my own company, I want to be my own boss and I want to create this ecosystem for myself and climb to the top. Now I would look at those three and I'm being quite you know, um, not everyone's career is going to look like that. But I'm looking at these three and I'm being quite you know, um, not everyone's career is going to look like that, but I'm looking at these three types of people, yeah, the three big buckets of people, um and um. It's been making me think a lot, because I know I read somewhere in a business magazine about how the world of work is going to be changing. So it'll be more probably within the next 10 years, we're going to see people have what we call portfolio careers, which will mean that you might have a job and might spend a couple of days a week in that job.

Speaker 2: 20:40

You might be working on a side gig on something else, and then you might be doing something in another part of the world, and it will just be a bit more varied, rather than the traditional nine-to-fivers that we tend to have, um, or the self-employed people which currently how is how the kind of system has been built? You're either an entrepreneur or you're a nine-to-fiver, and anyone that does anything kind of out of that is like oh, you know the? The people that are in a nine-to-fivers and they're doing what we call side hustles. You know the? The people that are in the nine-to-fivers and they're doing what we call side hustles. You know the? The corporate world doesn't like those kind of people because they want you to put all your all your effort and energy into this organization. And the people that the sort of entrepreneurs well, you're just an entrepreneur, you're just nine-to-fiver, you're not ambitious enough and you're not trying hard enough. So we've got these two camps that are kind of like, um, kind of fighting against each other, and I just wanted to get your viewpoint on that because I feel the world of work is changing and it's evolving and it's not like it was before.

Speaker 2: 21:43

When I think about the world of work, when my mum was working and my dad was working even my grandparents were working it was very much. You stayed in the same job for like 20, 30 years and you got your, your pension and all your benefits from that employer, you know, or you were the big boss and you owned the company and you looked after employees. So I just want to get your view on that and how that's working, because I I feel like people's ideas of what success is and that's something that obviously you have to kind of idolize in your head what that looks like. Um, yeah, I wanted to get your views on that and what you thought about that way of working and how people and the world of work is evolving well and it's such a great question, sarah, because today's generation is a byproduct of the bad behavior that corporations made.

Speaker 1: 22:36

In my generation I've got a 28-year-old daughter, so she's in the thick of things as well, and so her generation saw her parents get laid off with almost no severance, right. They saw all the variability and all the bad things that companies did. That was like the first generation, where you didn't go park yourself for a career and stay there forever, right, and you couldn't do that. So I think, by seeing the lack of mutual loyalty that is, almost by accident, created a culture in terms of the up and coming culture and in terms of work I'm not doing this. I see how this game is played. I'm going to navigate this differently and I think the value system of the current generation that's coming into the workforce is very different in terms of its whole life satisfaction. It's less materialistic. It's less keep up with the Jonesoneses like, oh, now I have to get married, now I have to buy a house, now I have to get the dog. Oh, and I need the range rover and then I can have kids, right. Like we don't do this anymore, right, and and so by allowing the generation of work to be much more self-serving and and I say that in all the positive possible ways having sold my soul to corporate America for a long time. So I think that is going to force companies to think differently, because they will not have a choice. Eventually. People like me are not going to work there anymore, and then they're going to have a problem with what they get, because you can't just make stuff up, and I don't think it's a a combative thing, I think it's a.

Speaker 1: 24:32

You know, people need and want different things for themselves, for their careers and for their lives, and even that is fluid because of the seasonality in our lives. Like I know, when I, before I had my daughter, I was super aggressive and ambitious and shooting for the stars at every possible moment. But then when I had my daughter, I'm like hang on a second. My husband was a stay-at-home dad and you know I took less risk because I was the only breadwinner, you know. Plus, I'd like to be home and see my kids once in a while, right? So I took my foot off the gas pedal a little bit. Then, once you start to become a little bit more independent, and then you know you're able to go full throttle again and once she got off the payroll and graduated college, I was like I'm moving to a tropical Island, we're done here, right? And so when you look at that seasonality, I think we all have to accept that it's okay to want different things, it's okay to change your mind, it's okay not to do the things that people think you're supposed to, because that's how things are supposed to happen and businesses are not going to have a choice.

Speaker 1: 25:34

And one of the things I talk about a lot in the book and in our coaching, for both businesses and for individuals, is the power of playing to your strengths, and we don't often have the opportunity to do all the things that we're best at that we love to do all the time we get to sprinkle it into our day a little bit, but that's not you know. Like, when you thought about what are the few things that you could do for 12 hours a day and end the day more energized than you began it, like that's a great point. Like for me, I love working with my clients, our coaches, and doing this and doing keynotes and getting the message out. Oh, I love this. I can do this all day, everything. Now, I'm good at strategy and social media and finances and all the other things I need to run the business.

Speaker 1: 26:26

But after about an hour or two I'm spinning in my chair with my own pencils at the ceiling because I just don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1: 26:32

But what if I got to just do this? And what if the people around me that love to do the things that I don't got to do that all the time? And so when you talk about the future of work and this blend between a little bit of corporate, a little bit of gig economy with the entrepreneurs, then that gives an individual the ability to lean into the things that they are strengthened by and energized by and only do more of that which is better for themselves and better for where they're serving. And so I think if you start to rebalance how work gets done, you know how you can, you know, have many people do smaller pieces instead of having one person peanut butter all over everything and get creative with that. Then the companies who get this right are going to thrive and the companies who get this right fast are going to be ahead of the curve on that. So I think it's a blend. I think people should continue to do what serves you.

Speaker 2: 27:33

Do you think companies will adapt to people that have other things?

Speaker 2: 27:38

Because there's some companies that they like the fact you have other things that you're doing outside of what they do, because it makes you more of a a variable character individuals, well as a company and companies feel like, no, you need to be tied to this desk and do exactly what I want you to do during this time, and even when you're outside of your work, they want you to be thinking about what they do.

Speaker 2: 28:03

How do you feel that employers I'm not sure how the the right way to ask this, but how do you think employers should kind of approach this? Because I'm trying to think from an employer's perspective there's some employers that really embrace the fact that they have an employee that is multifaceted and they like to try different things, but also you have some employers that might feel like, well, this is going to be a distraction from what I need you to do here. So it's kind of trying to get that balance on. How do you manage that as an employer and also as an employee or somebody who's working for a corporate and maybe have other things outside of their corporate job, you kind of navigate that because it is one of the we. Well, in this state, where it's one of those really difficult things, and I know that your daughter's like 28 28, so she's probably a Gen Z-er, maybe a very, very, very, very young millennial.

Speaker 1: 28:57

I would say more Gen Z-er, um, for sure, definitely Gen Z-er, just from attitude and mindset and all that stuff, right. So wherever she, actually falls.

Speaker 2: 29:07

She's Gen Z gently, yeah, and one thing I know is about that particular generation is that they like if they don't like something, they don't hang around. They tend to be like no, I'm not, I'm not doing this anymore, I'm gonna, you know, go somewhere else. So I'm just like wondering how does someone navigate that kind of that crossroads of should I, should I, where should I look for the right place? That's going to cultivate me as an individual, because sometimes this is the, this is the thing people can feel very stuck where they are and it's how do you get out of that cycle? That's, that's, that's probably the best way to ask that question.

Speaker 1: 29:44

Yeah, right and you know it kind of feels like a dating app. Right, there's a lid for every cup and you know it's like a little watch on the three bears, right, you know, two big, two small just right.

Speaker 1: 29:58

There are people who want to work for one company. They want to have that sense of belonging and that sense of contribution and the structure and the what I would console misconceived, but you know perception of contribution and the structure and the what I would console misconceived, but you know perception of safety and security and that kind of stuff. And that's what they want. So they should not be forced to do seven different things. Right? There are other people who have, you know, who like to do a variety of different things, who want to have their fingers in a bunch of different pies and who want to dabble, that's not me right.

Speaker 1: 30:31

But just like not everyone's like you you know that you would not work in a corporate structure in terms of do this and this and this, and then you know, put in your time and you'll get with, you know you'll get promoted, whatever. But some people love them, and even gen zers, some people love that, like my, who is very much travel the world, you know, work enough to live and that kind of stuff. Her best friend loves corporate life. She loves it Like, and she just, you know, she just eats, drinks and breathes this stuff and this is what every guy's prefer and these are best friends. And you know, once people together graduate and have very, very different outlooks on what they need, to feel fulfilled, and that's okay, and so I think organizations that can tap into both resources and individuals who refuse to compromise will find the norm, because I don't think one answer is right and one's wrong yeah there's a good place for both and it's just the right people finding the right organizations which is where you escape.

Speaker 1: 31:33

The career trap is finding that you know that fit, and then you know being able to thrive once you get there, and so I don't think we should be forcing people into you're gonna do the gig economy because you're a gen z or nothing you're supposed to do, and or you gotta sit in that office in that cubicle every day and um. But I think people feel they're supposed to be a certain way and depends on their background. You know their background or upbringing, what they've seen their parents go through, what their friends are doing, and so to chart your own course, to buck that trend, to say that's not for me, I'm going to do something very different and then go do it, be happy and be successful at it and own it. That's where people feel stuck is, when they don't feel like they have the power or the control or the skills to create something different.

Speaker 2: 32:22

I feel that's something quite powerful to understand is you've got to understand yourself and how you want to work, because sometimes for some people, they feel that they're looking at other people or looking at what they're doing, but you're not actually looking at yourself. And I think when you, it's always two things one say. One would say that having tunnel vision is bad because you're not seeing what's happening around you, but at the same time, it's good because you're kind of like focused on exactly what it is you need for that moment so that you can get, you can kind of, I guess, um figure out in your, in your mind, what it is I'm good at, what I, what works for me and how I can thrive. And I think, a lot of the time, when you're not thriving in your actual being and what you're supposed to be, that's where you find these challenges and these barriers, because you're looking at the things that are not helping you to enable yourself to become more successful in your life, or what success looks like to you.

Speaker 2: 33:30

There's another thing that I also have noticed as well. Um, that's going on. Um, there's almost this divide between people who want this. I don't know, it's called I, it's called soft life, yeah, or hustle culture, um, and some people there's some people online that you see um, and they're doing amazingly, or amazingly successful on social media, and they just seem to believe in this kind of, I guess, easy life. Or another trend they're having is that I'm a trad wife, I'm at home, my husband does everything for me, that kind of um lifestyle.

Speaker 2: 34:05

I wanted to get your views on that and what you think, because I think sometimes there's another. There's another thing that people seem to look at people online. This is where the mindset thing you know, you need to figure out how, what works for you where they feel like being having a soft life and having expensive things and living this glamorous life. I don't have to do too much to get that. Yeah, um. And then obviously, there was a time when people like hustle, hustle, I'm doing all these hustle things and I'm I'm showing you, I'm the boss, um, I'm the boss babe. I think it was at one point. I mean, what do you think about?

Speaker 1: 34:42

it is fascinating, right, it is so fascinating, just kind of how these things just manifest themselves and show up and affect how people value themselves yeah right, rando on insta or tiktok is now changing all the things you think about yourself, yeah, yeah, because they have a bunch of followers or whatever.

Speaker 1: 35:02

And so I think there are really three things that human beings need in whatever way they want Fulfillment, purpose and impact. And you can get those three things by having your husband buy you that. You know, flash BMW and you know, have all these sponsors talk about the latest bikinis and all that kind of fun stuff. And if that was what gives you those three things, fantastic. But if it doesn't, and if that brings hollow, and you know, and you personally want to make an impact on the world in a different way, then that's where you should follow, because it was interesting.

Speaker 1: 35:45

So when I started the business, you know it took me a couple of years to get my act together right. I made every mistake known to mankind. It was a disaster and I was learning like crazy. And when I started to ask my clients what do you really want? Because I work with high level executives, I make a lot of money, I have a lot of power right, and even with the promotion, the things I do in all of my life matter and I want to make an impact.

Speaker 1: 36:20

I want to make things better than when they were before I got involved in whatever part of my life I do, and that's where a lot of us find that sense of self is by getting clear on what those three things are. And no one can define what that is for you. Right, you define that and it changes. So I think if you find those things, you know being that TikTok star with all the simple life, then that's great. You know, if you want to cure cancer and make the world a better place, then that's great. And if you're somewhere in the middle, like all of us are, like the majority of us are, and that's okay too. But find your own path and own it.

Speaker 2: 37:04

I also think as well, what you have to understand is even these so-called influencers on tiktok that are so in this glamorous life, um, you have to remember that they have to take the effort, yeah, to take the camera out to show you this kind of curated, perfect image they have, and you're watching it, thinking it only took them like 30 seconds for you to watch it, as long as it took them to do it, right?

Speaker 1: 37:30

yeah?

Speaker 2: 37:31

that 30 seconds and I've done editing. It does take a while. A 30 second clip can take you like 10 minutes to do if you want to get make it look perfect. So in in that sense it is work. But I think people are being deceived um by thinking, oh, you know she's living a great life, but everything's been curated. They've managed to get things like seo and like you know um marketing to to bring up their profiles, that people know who they are. But we don't see all that stuff behind the scenes. We're just looking at that 30 second clip. I think that's the life I want to live.

Speaker 1: 38:07

But is it Right, like, do you want to be slaved to the camera? Do you want to care what massive people think? Do you want to, like, have every sense of your self-worth be tied to someone else's opinion? Who's a random stranger who doesn't even know or care about who you are Right? Who's a random stranger who doesn't even know or care about who you are Right? And so I think that's where Simon Sinek does a great, has a great conversation around start with why. And the process is you set a goal that you want for yourself. Maybe it's living a simple life, or maybe it's whatever it is and you ask yourself why you want that. And then, when you look at that answer, then you're going to ask yourself why is that answer important to me? And you're going to go through that process seven times to get to your real why. And what that does is that gives you a deep sense of purpose that you probably haven't admitted to yourself or anyone else if you do it right, that you probably haven't admitted to yourself or anyone else if you do it right.

Speaker 1: 39:07

Like, early in my career I was ridiculously ambitious. I would take big risks. I would I've gotten fired twice. You know like I've taken massive risks and when I, with the benefit of hindsight, went back and said why was I so driven, it was because I didn't want to have happen to my mom happen to me. I never wanted to be at the mercy of someone else's decision to decide whether I get to live in a home or not. You know, and as I, you know, and that's what fueled me, and when things got hard, that's what I hung on to. Is that fear actually, that I didn't want to be that Right?

Speaker 1: 39:42

Then, as I started this business and faced failure in another epic way, I'm like why? As I started this business and faced failure in another epic way, I'm like why am I doing this? It'd be so much easier to go back to wall street and make a boatload of money and not have to worry about any of this. But for me, it was about self this time and putting myself first, but also not putting enough burden on my daughter to where she'd have to take care of me because I'm over poor and so, uh, you know so. So what motivates us is a lot, and so if you think this shiny object is your thing, you might be right. You might not be so if you do this, why enough? And if it rings hollow, if it doesn't make you, you know, kind of get that lump in your throat and tear up a little bit, then you want to find another purpose, because that's really where true fulfillment will be for you.

Speaker 2: 40:25

I think it's a good thing to always evaluate yourself, like I do a checking with yourself, maybe at least every six months or so, to really figure out is this what I really want to do?

Speaker 1: 40:39

What am I giving for this and what am I getting?

Speaker 2: 40:42

100%. Yeah, I think we do need to do chickens. I know that we're kind of coming closer to time so I know, I know.

Speaker 2: 40:53

I'm enjoying this conversation. Honestly, um, I just wanted to um, get a bit more about, um, where people can find you, what people will get from reading your book. And, yeah, tell us about the services that you offer so that I can let the audience members know. And also, are your, are your services, neurodivergent friendly as well, because you've got a lot of adhders, people with dyslexia, people who, um, maybe struggle to kind of pick up things straight away from, not from an academic perspective, but from more of a visual perspective.

Speaker 1: 41:23

I would say yeah and you know, and I think you know, we've got services that are here to help everyone. Love mondays again. That's what we do. And whether it's businesses, whether that's individuals, when this, when career fulfillment becomes top priority and you realize that business success or those things are inextricably linked, then you start to get the picture. And so, in terms of the book, the book will walk you through how to get out of that soul crushing grind, how to figure out what really will light you up, because you've never really given yourself permission to figure this out before.

Speaker 1: 41:56

And then what steps do you take to play to your strengths to get where you want to be? And then, most importantly, how do you start to pave the way for others? And so the book takes you on that journey. It's a working book. You know we've got brain candy at the end of each chapter, which takes all the ideas and stories that you've read or listened to. And then how do I apply that to me? Like, how do I start to think about that? So the book is just an amazing journey. I'm getting so much feedback from people who are reading it saying I'm slowing down because I don't want it to end.

Speaker 2: 42:28

And I'm like no, that's a terrible idea.

Speaker 1: 42:29

Hire a coach, hire a coaching team, so you know. So the book is there and you know I also do keynotes, I do sessions, you know, in terms of seminars and workshops, I have a very active speaking, you know, public speaking. So all of that stuff you can find at escaping the career trapcom and then, from a coaching perspective, coaching and consulting. We work on career strategy, leadership development and business advisory, and all that's done through careerwinnerscirclecom and that's with me and our amazing team of coaches that are just lined up here, you know, ready to serve in a variety of different ways. And the one thing I always ask, and that's careerwinnerscirclecom, just so your audience has that, and this will all be in the show notes as well. But I also would love for those of you who are listening, to connect with me on LinkedIn and let me know you heard the episode. I want to hear your favorite part, maybe something we disagreed with, because I love controversy.

Speaker 2: 43:23

And then let's take this conversation a little bit further are you in other social media platforms or is it just linkedin? Yes you know what you need to get on linkedin. A lot of people are scared of linkedin and it really isn't that scary. It's a very good platform for business reasons.

Speaker 1: 43:41

It's the only place to be right. So, no, we're a youtube channel, so binge watch all the things that's there for you. Um, you know we've got a facebook. You know we've got facebook accounts. We're on instagram, so, yeah, you can find us on.

Speaker 2: 43:52

You know virtually almost all the other platforms as well and the last question I have for you is if someone who's neurodivergent and they're in the career corporate world, what advice would you give them? I always ask that to to all of my guests that come on the show on this podcast.

Speaker 1: 44:09

Okay. So my advice to those people are play to your strengths. Don't pretend you're all things to all. People Know what you're good at. However, those talents have. Come your way and then play to your strengths, because when you do that and you give yourself that permission to love every Monday again, make those decisions.

Speaker 2: 44:29

Everything will get better thank you so much, tammy, and I'm sure the audience members will basically take that advice. They will. Um no, this. It's been absolute honor having you on and I'm so grateful you came on to the podcast today and you've dropped so many gems. I'm getting so excited editing this now. But, yeah, you've dropped so many, so many gems and yeah, thank you, and yeah, yeah, just all the best of the book and yeah, tammy's giving you all of her handles and I'll put all of the information in the show notes so that you can have a look through yourself. Thank you so much again.

Speaker 1: 45:09

This was a great conversation. I had so much fun. Thanks for the invite.

Speaker 2: 45:12

Thank you bye for now. I just want to let our audience members know about the six week coaching program that I'll be offering for people who are neurodivergent and who want to improve their career prospects in general, or those who want to get into project management. You can also be non-neurodivergent too. I mentioned this earlier in previous episodes, but I want to make the time to offer it up to those looking for help in those areas in their life, as it's a great way to learn new skills to help you advance in your career. I'm also offering my support to people who want to pass the PRINT2 practitioner exam or other project management exams, as I've taken and failed the test a few times and I would like to help others by showing them how I passed.

Speaker 2: 46:06

I also launched my membership Neuro in Egma, in which you get supportive community career and business mentorship, monthly group coaching calls, networking opportunities, mental health well-being days and unlimitedbling Sessions and UK and very soon international meetups. I'm also working with the British Dyslexic Association, analexic, one of the UK's biggest neurodiversity organizations, to ensure our members get free full neurodiversity assessments, accredited with an educational psychologist or doctor. So if this sounds like you're interested to learn more, please reach out to me directly to talk more about the membership. Please follow me on all platforms where you listen to podcasts. Thank you for listening to Divining Egg Mom and if you got to the end, this is a safe place for project managers, professionals, side hustlers and anybody who's looking to navigate the complexity of being neurodiverse in the workplace and the space. I'll see you next time.