Our Life With & Without Alcohol - How it All Changed

From our teenage years, where the pull to fit in nudged us towards our first sips, to the life-altering choice to not drink alcohol, my co-host Greg and I, Cameo, have walked the rocky road of alcohol consumption and sobriety. We know how deeply alcohol can weave itself into the fabric of life—how it can be a social lubricant at parties, a companion through stress, and sometimes, a shadow that obscures our true selves. 

Join us as we share heartfelt and unfiltered accounts of our past indulgences, from days filled with band gigs and football weekends to the quieter, more reflective moments that led us to press 'The Reset Button' on our lives. 

The lure of alcohol is potent, often promising a false sense of connection and escape. We dissect the social maze that drinking often entails and how personal justifications and societal pressures can shape our choices. But, it's not all heavy hearts and solemn words. Our conversation is peppered with laughs to balance the scales! Moreover, we speak candidly about the resistance, acceptance, and support we encountered along our individual paths to sobriety. Our anecdotes and insights are for anyone contemplating their relationship with alcohol or seeking solidarity on a similar journey.

Embracing sobriety isn't merely turning away from something; it's a doorway to a more authentic existence. We delve into the transformative power of saying 'no' to alcohol and the sense of self-assurance it can bring. Sobriety has allowed us to reinvent our interests, fortify our relationships, and embark on adventures of self-discovery that once seemed out of reach. Through our dialogue, we invite you to envision life unhindered by the constraints of alcohol, filled with improved relationships, hobbies, and personal triumphs—a life where every small decision is a step towards a larger, more rewarding journey.

Transcript

Cameo: 0:30

Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, Cameo, and I am joined today by my husband and co-host, Greg Braun. Hi, Greg.

Greg: 0:38

Hey, so happy to be here.

Cameo: 0:41

Today we are going to take a journey down memory lane and also visit present moment. It's like a Scrooge idea Ghost of Christmas Past. We're going to talk about the ghosts of our past as it pertains to alcohol. So, for those of you who don't know, greg and I are both on a journey of living alcohol free. Greg is approaching his 10-year anniversary of not drinking and I am right around nine. I can't believe that and so.

Greg: 1:19

I know it seems crazy.

Cameo: 1:21

It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but it feels like it's been that long. You know what I mean. It's just such a difficult time warp to understand. We're going to start by talking about who we were when we did drink, because some of you listening may know us personally and you may know who we were a decade ago, and some of you listening many of you listening don't know who Greg and Cameo were a decade ago, and so I think it's important to kind of set the stage as it pertains to who we were, who we showed up as in our day to day life.

Greg: 1:57

But before we begin I would like to share a dad joke. Do you know what an astronaut's favorite part of a computer is?

Cameo: 2:06

I really want to get this one, but no, I have no idea.

Greg: 2:10

The space bar.

Cameo: 2:13

Ah, that's a good one. Good one. I was thinking more like internal computer versus like the keyboard, but damn, I really wanted to get that one right. I wanted to try. Anyway, thank you.

Greg: 2:28

Greg for a lightning mood there.

Cameo: 2:30

This topic is quite heavy. It doesn't always have to be, and I think that's part of the stigma too, which is why we're talking about it, but it definitely is a heavy, touchy conversation to have, and so you know. I first want to start this episode, before we even get any further, by saying, as always, there is no judgment here and we're not here to weigh in on anybody's choices. We're not here to make anyone feel like what they're doing with their life is wrong or there's one way and a right way and a wrong way. It isn't anything like that, but I do think it's an important conversation to have because we have seen firsthand in our own lives the drastic change that has taken place from this decision for us, and so sharing that may help someone who is on the fence, it may help someone who is on the wagon and struggling with that. So that is always our intent, and I know I don't always have to qualify that, but especially with this subject, I still feel like I need to and will probably forever. Just because the topic is, can you even get intense really quickly? So I'll start.

Cameo: 3:47

I started drinking when I was a teenager because I just couldn't wait till the day when I could be old enough to drink, and that to me, based on my environment and some of the kids that I was around, meant when I was a teenager, you know, in high school, and so I did. I was a straight-eighth student, I was on all of the sports teams, I was a good kid by all measures, and I also knew how to party, and I did it quick and early and that was just something that was the natural next step and it was something that was not even a question. It wasn't even like an option to not start drinking when I was a teenager because that's what I had seen and what I had been around From a very early age. I started doing it because that was what I was supposed to do. I started doing it because that was the cool thing to do. I started doing it for all the reasons, right. What I didn't understand at the time that I understand now is that I also started drinking and used alcohol and other drugs along the way as a way to escape.

Cameo: 4:57

Because, as a teenager, you know you're dealing with so much change in your life and you're stressed out and you're trying to fit in and you don't know who you are fully. And at the same time my parents were getting divorced and I just again, didn't realize it at the time, but it was a way for me to just kind of take my good kid hat off and stop worrying about what everybody else was doing with you know, regard to fitting in and my parents and all that shit that was going on, and just be the life of the party and just have a good time and let it all go. And I habitualized that all the way in through my adulthood, 20s, right into 30. And that was always how I dealt with everything and that was who I became when I was drinking. That was my character the life of the party, the one that pushes everyone to like really go get them. We're going to drink tonight, we're going to let our hair down.

Cameo: 5:56

And I also accepted alcohol as just there all the time, no matter what. Whether I was happy, sad, angry, celebrating, disappointed, it didn't matter. It was always there, always a reason to drink, and it kept me from knowing myself. For 15 years. Your turn.

Greg: 6:20

Yeah, well, I feel for me as a kid, you know, seeing adults drinking and also with aspirations of becoming a rock and roll, rock and roll star, you know it was kind of part of the gig that it was like you want to be like Tommy Lee. Well, you know, look at Metallica, look at these bands that are playing on stage. They're drinking and then it's like it's a wild party. So I mean I idolized it as part of the package. You know, from a very young age. A lot of people don't really know this about me maybe, but I started playing in bars, playing music, when I was 12, 11 or 12. I mean I was super young, super young. So I mean I firsthand saw people at a very ripe young age people at nine o'clock to one o'clock in the morning deteriorate from having like normal conversations to the night. Everyone's hanging around, I mean. And I was so young at that point that I was like, wow, you know, like what it's like, everyone's become zombies at one in the morning, you know.

Greg: 7:29

Except they weren't zombies, they were like yeah, yeah, but I didn't really it wasn't like a bad thing or you know it wasn't. It was just you see it around it, it's everywhere. I mean, for me it just was a very normal thing. I come from a Catholic family and at gatherings and cookouts, you know, everyone's drinking beer. It's just part of our society and for me it's not that it was like a bad thing. It was just like a way to like be part of the tribe and part of what's going on.

Greg: 8:04

And as I become, you know, older, like 16, and like have some freedom and drive, and then you're like getting cases of beer and you're like going to parties and you're being free and you're expressing your, you're becoming an adult and it just all comes as that package deal and I'm a super competitive person. So for me it was also a race to get to see how, how hammered I could get and to get everyone else around me hammered and because we were going to have a good time, you know. So it was always rooted in a good time and a party and it was never just to sit by myself and just get hammered, to blackout and escape everything. You know, it was just like it was a. It was more of a social party. That's how it started, you know.

Cameo: 8:50

For me, yeah, I'm glad you brought up the competitive piece, because I feel that too, and it wasn't always about being the drunkest, but it was about like being able to drink more than everyone. I found a lot of pride in that, from an early age, you know, and and into adulthood. And I also would just like to mention, like I did, I did use it to escape, but I didn't understand that's what I was doing, because it was a social activity for me. So I wasn't sitting drinking by myself, sad and, you know, getting lit by myself because I was escaping or depressed, but I was using it to escape in a way that made me forget about everything else that was bothering me in a social setting where I was having a good time until I wasn't right.

Greg: 9:37

So that's just it. The question was who are we when we drink life of the party? Let's have fun, woohoo. Until we weren't, until you and I would have an argument.

Cameo: 9:50

Yeah. So we both started off kind of in the same way. I think a lot of people start there. Alcohol is just normal, that's fine, it's glamorized, it's sensationalized, it's everywhere and it's just kind of what you do. So you've got this Greg. You've got this man, greg, man child, you were in your early twenties when we met and you've got this mess of a teenage woman at 19, who both are the same way when it comes to how they have a relationship with alcohol and partying. And then those two people meet and they start to form a life together, a relationship.

Cameo: 10:39

When we first started dating, we would stop before we got home to have a drink and a couple shots, because then we could drive a half mile down the road. We didn't have to do it. It was fun to do it out in public, it was fun to do it at a bar as a social activity, and then, before we were drunk, we could get home. You were in a band, a lot of our social activity and a lot of our extracurricular activities centered around where's the next party, where's the next gig. Football was something that was just a given. We were going to do football all weekend and it was a reason to drink. It was a reason to wake up and crack a beer. And then it became OK. Well, now we have kids, we're watching our kids play, I'm just going to have a beer while we do that. No big deal. That's how I grew up. How many people grow up Again, no judgment.

Cameo: 11:32

But then, as we got a little older and our kids were four and eight, we made a move to Florida from Ohio, 1,100 miles away. We knew no one and our life was kind of a wreck in many areas. We were digging out of marriage trouble, debt, dissatisfaction in our careers, you name it. So we were like we need a fresh start and we moved to Florida almost 10 years ago. And along with all that change came the decision to stop drinking. And you stopped drinking before I did Almost six months, and I remember when you stopped drinking I was resistant to it. I didn't want to stop drinking, I was willing to support it. We just moved to Florida.

Cameo: 12:22

It's like party central you go to the beach, you pack a cooler, right it's. You go to the pool, you pack a cooler. It's gorgeous here. Cocktails, how are you going to meet new people? Happy hours with your new, new role at your workplace, like, how are we going to do this? And I was resistant to the idea. Because I also looked at it and went I don't have a drinking problem. You drink way more than me and you get drunker than I do, more often than I do, at least. Maybe I get drunker than you sometimes, but not as often as you do. I'm not drinking by myself. I don't have a problem. I'm not going to stop drinking.

Greg: 13:01

Isn't that funny how we as people can minimize our. I've seen you pee in the middle of a street, just literally drop your pants and pee after a gig playing at Heinegate on Lane Avenue, after a Buckeyes game and I'm the one that's supposed to be the crazy wild rocker. Of course I'm drunk too.

Cameo: 13:25

Oh, there's plenty of stories we can sling around.

Greg: 13:28

But you're like I'm like god damn, she's peeing in the street. You know what I mean, so like it's just funny. You're right, probably the frequency was more in the. In the, you had your, your moments too. You know where it was.

Cameo: 13:41

Just like my god you know, yeah, can you imagine?

Greg: 13:45

doing that today.

Cameo: 13:47

Oh my god, can you?

Greg: 13:47

imagine just going out and peeing in the street.

Cameo: 13:49

Oh, my god. There are so many things that I did that I'm not proud of, because it was fun until it wasn't, but I never knew when that threshold was being crossed, because everything was fun to me until I had drank enough to make myself pass out.

Greg: 14:05

But yeah, thank you for bringing that story.

Cameo: 14:08

Yeah, thank you, I talk about that. Actually, I talk about all of this a little bit more in detail and in depth in my manuscript, in the in the book, the reset button. It's a major section because it's a major part of who we are and what has made it been a catalyst for a lot of change in our life. So, yeah, you're allowed to tell that story. I tell that story, okay, and I'm glad that you did, because, you're right, I did minimize my situation because I wasn't ready yet and I didn't feel like it was fair. You're making that choice. I don't feel like that's fair. I'm, I don't have to stop drinking just because you did. Yeah, and I validated that because I had stopped drinking a few times. So I don't have a problem. I stopped drinking twice when I was pregnant for months at a time, with no problem. I stopped drinking for months at a time when I was training for a bodybuilding show. I don't have a problem.

Greg: 15:09

Yeah.

Cameo: 15:09

I'm not dependent on it, I'm not doing it by myself, I'm not doing it that often I don't have a problem. But when I did do it, I did it big till.

Greg: 15:21

I peed in the street.

Cameo: 15:22

But although I was resistant to stopping drinking myself, I was supportive of you and I wasn't going to drink around you and I wasn't going. We weren't going to go to dinner and I was going to order beer and shots like we used to do or like we maybe would have done in the past, or our night out wasn't going to be centered around going to a bar to have beers and shots at the bar as our night off as parents. So I was definitely supportive. I was just resistant to stopping myself and we had in our favor that we didn't know anybody, in a way, and we didn't know where we were and we didn't really have anyone to rely on. So we didn't have a lot of room to mess up, like we couldn't just go out and get loaded. We had we didn't even have a babysitter yet. You know what I mean.

Cameo: 16:11

But I remember when you first stopped drinking and I was resistant to it, you had things that we we, we did have to step outside and socialize a little bit and we did have responsibilities to our careers, to be present and participate in things like happy hours, to meet people and again, because alcohol is socially accepted, that's literally what it all centers around. We should have a drink sometime. The team's having a happy hour, you know. So I remember you went to a happy hour one night when we first moved and you had just stopped drinking. You didn't really know anyone, and do you want to share what that felt like to to go?

Cameo: 16:50

to a happy hour when you first stopped.

Greg: 16:52

Yeah, I mean it's just. Alcohol is just such a social lubricant. You know that you can, you can just rely on it. At least that's how I did. You know, I'm like not a I mean it's kind of weird to say but I'm not like a super outgoing person, really like it around people, I don't know.

Greg: 17:13

I'm kind of standoffish a little bit. I kind of like feel people out and decide how much of myself I'm going to give. You know, I'm just, I would rather just kind of get a sense for what's going on. But with alcohol I never had to do that. I would just get get loaded. And who cares? You know, like let's party.

Greg: 17:30

So this was a whole new thing for me. And here I am as a professional, you know, working with other professionals, and we're going to have a happy hour after work and these people I barely know. And I remember everybody ordered drinks and of course you're not drinking, and at that time I was still very uncomfortable about that. I had to have excuses and no, yeah, but I remember just literally sweating, not because I'm, like physically dependent upon it, but it was more of like just complete nervousness, of like imagine this little boy, it was just this, a little boy that doesn't know how to deal with this adult situation. It's the first time I've ever had to be in this role. I didn't know what to draw from of how I'm supposed. I didn't know what I was supposed to be, you know.

Cameo: 18:20

Yeah.

Greg: 18:21

So it made me really intensely nervous and I was like really sweaty. I probably left early, you know like, just like, all right.

Cameo: 18:30

I'm going to get you know, awkward.

Greg: 18:32

It's just awkward Because, again, after shots and beers, and then you kind of noticed the comments, everyone's starting to yell and you're like, you know, it's not really a conversation happening anymore, it's just everyone talking at the same time and you're just like, well, okay, you know, and before you would be part of that, but this was just like a new thing, a new experience. So you're just like okay, you know.

Cameo: 18:55

Who am I without that?

Greg: 18:57

social lubricant, and how am I supposed to show?

Cameo: 19:00

up to this conversation and how am I supposed to connect with this person that I don't really know? And now, all of a sudden, everybody's loosened up a little bit and I'm like, okay, now I don't even know what's happening around me. Yeah.

Greg: 19:16

Yeah, and I've been on the other side of that, like in band situations, when someone's not drinking and parting, like there's like this, there's this tempo and a vibe of the party. You know what's happening. And if someone's like not part of that, you're like what's wrong? Why weren't you having this moment? You know, and it's just like you know, it's intense.

Cameo: 19:36

Up until that point, for you, and for me too, until later, when I stopped, there had always been a reason, and so when you would get asked that question before it wasn't as apparent, right, it was easy to answer Well, clearly, I'm pregnant or I'm training for a bodybuilding show, like you had an easy answer right, it was temporary, and there was a reason that you were maybe acting a little differently than how you thought you were supposed to be, and it wasn't as uncomfortable. I don't feel when I had those moments, those blips in time, when I wasn't drinking for a reason, yeah.

Cameo: 20:21

It wasn't as uncomfortable as when I stopped drinking, for just the reason of stopping drinking.

Greg: 20:26

Just stopping drinking. And the first time for me was doing a bodybuilding competition at the gym in Marysville where it was like a new year, new you kind of a thing. And it was like part of that was, if I'm gonna drink this serious and I'm gonna try to win, then I can't drink alcohol because I'm really gonna be monitoring my food and I wanna make sure that I give my body the best opportunity to look great in March whenever they did the final pictures, and so I had a great excuse and that was like the first time in my life that I really consciously took time off from it and I had a great excuse, you know. But also, deep down inside, I knew like this is pretty interesting because I'm now in situations where I'm not drinking. And that was like the first time I ever really noticed like wow, I drink a lot because I just it's part of what you do. It's like you drink water or you drink beer.

Greg: 21:22

You know Everyone else is doing it. You know like you're associating with everybody that does it, so you're like it's all just very normal. But as soon as you stop doing this one thing, you immediately are like turn in a punch bowl. You know You're just like what. You know what I mean. I think I even played a band gig during that. That was a couple of months. I think we played at Kix in Columbus with the guys in introspect and I remember not drinking and it was just like you know.

Cameo: 21:50

it's just weird, it's just that brings up so many questions that I have, and I guess the first one is did you draw from that when you stopped drinking? Did you draw from that experience of like?

Greg: 22:03

When I finally stopped drinking.

Cameo: 22:06

Yeah, so when you decided to stop drinking for no reason other than to stop drinking, no reason other than, like, our whole life was kind of being reevaluated, and so reevaluating your relationship with alcohol was part of that process for you. Did you draw from that experience of not drinking during that time to kind of remind yourself that, like I can do this, I can be in this setting and be okay?

Greg: 22:31

Just like anything else. You practice that stuff and you fail, and you practice, you go. I can't even tell you how many times I stopped smoking cigarettes and using tobacco, but I would stop and then I would go back and I would stop and I would go back my whole life. I battled with addiction to tobacco as well, and I haven't, over the last 10 years, used tobacco.

Greg: 22:56

You know, it's been very intermittent, you know, but nothing like it was. I was smoking two packs a day, and if I wasn't smoking, I was chewing Kodiak, which is like yeah, nothing like that.

Cameo: 23:09

Like, not even like a pack a year, Like maybe a random cigarette here or there, never anything like that.

Greg: 23:17

Yeah, that took practice. I quit many times. That was an example of like you build up a little story to yourself. Like I know I can do this because I've done it before, I've been to a happy hour before and didn't drink. I know I can do this. And there were moments where I was like Jesus, you know, I could, especially like early, like it was intense. It was like all I wanted to do was escape, but I had a support system and I had a plan for that and that wasn't going to be an option. You know what I mean.

Cameo: 23:50

Yeah, and unlike cigarettes and tobacco and quitting and then going back and quitting and then going back, at that time in our life there was so much wreckage and there were events that were taking place that, like going back to drinking wasn't an option for you. You decided and I know that's not always the case for people you know, so I don't want to minimize that side of it either, that I think there's a lot of power in deciding something.

Greg: 24:18

Yeah.

Cameo: 24:20

If you look around, a lot of successful people have belief in themselves, a support system, and they make a decision. They make a choice. I know when it comes to addiction alcohol, tobacco, drugs you name it addiction that it isn't always that black and white. So I want to be very sensitive to that that. You know there are people who struggle and the decision has been made, but then the dependency it's just too much right.

Greg: 24:49

Yeah.

Cameo: 24:50

But you weren't experiencing that because you had made this decision and because it hadn't been a physical dependency for you. It was more of a social behavioral addiction than anything, and, evaluating where alcohol fit in your life and the potential consequences of continuing to drink alcohol, you've found that the consequences outweighed the benefit right, and so it was really easy for you to stick to your priorities, and when I say easy, I don't mean like you just did it and there was no struggle, but I mean, there wasn't like this physical illness or pull right?

Greg: 25:26

Yeah, I think for me it was. Just I had been on the journey long enough to know like there really is never another beer, another drink isn't going to make me happy. You know what I mean? It's just going to make me more numb and more shut off and it just I just come to that realization, like this isn't the path of where I want to be, you know, I mean like it sounds so obvious and simple. I don't want to like make it oversimple because, again, I know it's not an easy thing.

Greg: 26:04

Tobacco is so hard to quit too. But I mean, like you always just want that other cigarette and that next chew and that net, and it's just like that's the addiction talking in your mind, playing a trick on you, and it's like but finally just getting like pissed off enough where you're just like. I just know that that's, that's it's lying to me, because I was always blown away when people were like let's go have a beer, and like some people can have a beer, I'm like how can you just have a beer? Like when I have one beer, I'm like it's like half gone. I'm like who's over in the next one? We got to get shots too. You know, like it was just like a race, you know, and it's like I just it must be my compulsive behavior or my competitive, I don't know, but I'm just like it was never a have a beer and then I'll just have a water. I mean, that was like torture to me, you know.

Cameo: 26:53

And so you drew from that experience of having a reason to say that you didn't drink when you were doing the gym competition to now. That translated to being in your memory bank that I can do this, a belief that I can do this, a decision that I'm going to do this. But it was still difficult, right? Because you were still being asked you don't drink, you don't drink at all, why aren't you drinking? You like feeling the pressure of having a reason, and it did. It take a little while to get comfortable with that.

Greg: 27:21

Yeah, I mean again luckily having the tools in my toolbox to know what to say and what was acceptable and how to handle these things, just like anything else, knowing what you're going to do when the shit hits the fan. Having a plan helped me tremendously, and what were?

Cameo: 27:38

those tools. What was that plan?

Greg: 27:41

That no is a full sentence that I don't need to give anybody any. I don't owe anybody an explanation, I don't care who it is, I can just say no, thank you, and we'll move on. And it's like at the beginning. It was like no, because I don't want to drink, because I, you know, because you're people pleasing you just I don't want to be the one guy out of a hundred that's not drinking at this company outing, or you know you just you don't want to stand out, you don't want to. You want to be part of the tribe, and because that is hardwired and it's to equal death and it's not though, but if you stand out, if you stand up for yourself, it makes you feel this deep pull that you're like going to be, you know, ostracized from the group, and in this situation, it's vital that you, that you are, understand that you're allowed to say no without giving any explanation, and that's powerful stuff, and I had, you know you obviously supported me.

Greg: 28:38

I had also a really good friend that had went through the program, the 12 steps, and was very helpful, giving me lots of little tidbits and things that I could hang my hat on and steps for myself to follow. That told me that Also, people, places and things. So once you go down that path of like, hey, I'm not going to drink, you start to really evaluate the things that you do, the people that you're around, what you call hobbies and pastimes, and you start to realize that maybe I did this because I just was drinking and like, maybe I don't really like to go golfing for six hours on a Saturday, cause that's a long time, but when you're drinking it's like, ah, it's a party. You know. It's like the lies we tell ourselves to to again minimize and, you know, make things okay, retrofit things into our life where it's like, if you cut that little piece out, like if there's no alcohol, it makes things a little bit different. They feel different, you know.

Cameo: 29:38

Yeah, greg was experiencing this kind of all on his own because I was still having a drink when I felt like it not really around you and not very often, because we had just moved and we didn't know anyone. And, fortunately for us, in that time, our people, places and things already were changed.

Greg: 30:00

That's right.

Cameo: 30:01

They had already become different, and not necessarily by making hard decisions, but just by, like, a change in geographical region, a change in where we lived.

Greg: 30:11

Yeah.

Cameo: 30:12

So that definitely helped. I wasn't around the people and the places and the things where I would have normally been drinking a lot more, and that's not anyone's fault I don't mean it to sound that way, but I just mean that, like when we moved here, you were not drinking all on your own, but we had that advantage that people, places and things were all different anyway, but I would still go get my nails done when my mom came to visit and have a glass of champagne that they offer you no big deal. I also started a new job and my job had me traveling a lot and there were a lot of fancy dinners and entertaining and so I would drink wine while I was traveling and while I was out selling.

Cameo: 30:52

That was literally your job, that was literally my job, literally my job, was to sell, my sell and entertain, and so you know that was all happening. Wow, be a hot hot mother.

Cameo: 31:06

I am For those of you watching the video. You're welcome. But about six months after you stopped drinking and I was still drinking here and there I had a moment where I was when I finally decided to that drinking was not something that I could have as part of my life either, and it was on a work trip. You had flown into Chicago to meet me there for the weekend hang out with our friends. I was there for work and I was at happy hour after work with all of my colleagues having normal wine and appetizers and conversation, and I wanted to be supportive of you so I didn't want to be drinking. When you got there and I saw you walking up and I had just poured a fresh glass of wine, so it would have been like probably my second, maybe my third.

Greg: 31:55

Full, like three fingers.

Cameo: 31:57

It was like the whole wine glass. It was full and I saw you coming and I compulsively grabbed the glass of wine and chugged it. Chugged a glass of wine. And I remember thinking in that moment oh my God, I just chugged a glass of wine in public, in front of my colleagues, in a hurry to do it before my husband got here. Perhaps I should think about how alcohol fits in my life and if I actually have power over it or if I don't really have as much control as I think I do. And I don't know what day that was, but that was the last drink I had, and so my nine year anniversary of that is coming up.

Cameo: 32:46

That changed a lot of things for me, because instead of not drinking most of the time, I was now not going to drink at all. And it got scary real fast for me because that resistance that I had to you about like I don't have a problem, I can still drink, you're the one that's not drinking. Fine, I don't have to quit. Well, it's staring at me right in my face now, and now I have to go. Oh boy, how am I going to deal with my own shit and my own situations where I would normally have to drink, that you had already been kind of working on and I hadn't yet. It was scary and I assume that you also clung to these things. But I remember during that time telling myself like just for today I'm not going to drink, Absolutely On this trip, on this work trip, I'm not going to drink at this dinner, and if I can get through this, then I'll deal with tomorrow.

Greg: 33:42

Tomorrow, yeah, that's the only way to do it, still to this day. That's how you do it. You don't worry about tomorrow, it's today.

Cameo: 33:50

That's right and it created so much like, like you said, you kind of evaluated, like, what are these things that are in my life? Are they based around drinking or do I really enjoy them? I created this spaciousness to like really get to know myself, get to know you, get to know our marriage, get to know our kids, and while it was scary and sometimes difficult, it put things in perspective and allowed us to really prioritize what was important and get very clear on what was not actually a part of our life because we loved it, but more of a part of our life because it was just kind of what happened. I remember for the first time feeling like an active participant in my own life behind the steering wheel, and I felt scared, but I also felt empowered and part of me felt rebellious. No-transcript, I'm not drinking anymore, oh yeah.

Cameo: 34:49

Oh, y'all keep going on. Keep slinging those beer commercials in my face, everything I watch. Keep asking me if I want a wine sample when I walk into the grocery store. Keep asking me if I want to make my Shirley Temple dirty. No, I don't, and that actually makes me feel fucking awesome to tell you that. Thank you, you know what I'm saying it like fueled my need for independence in a way that I didn't anticipate.

Cameo: 35:14

Yeah and I think that's because, like each time, you were able to recognize a time when you might have drank and Say no to it, you became more confident and you were more courageous and, like, more convicted in the decision, because the next day you weren't paying for it. I wasn't texting people apologizing for shit. I didn't know that I did. I Wasn't feeling shame for peeing in the middle of the street, right, and, like each decision, I wasn't doing that when we moved to Florida, obviously.

Greg: 35:47

But who knows?

Cameo: 35:50

I might, I could have been, and it just opened up a whole lot of self-exploration that hadn't been there before.

Greg: 35:58

Yeah, somebody one time said like something like you know, sorry that you can't drink, or, and I was just like, after you get past like the uncomfortable phase and you just get used to Not having it in your life. We have alcohol here, we have beer in the fridge, beer outside, whiskey in the drawer. For what? People come over. People come over and drink cases of beer. I don't care and I don't even care. I mean I'll buy an A beers if I want to taste it's. It's just not even. It's not even. I don't. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything and I think in the beginning you do and it's really intense.

Greg: 36:43

It's really intense and that's just part of the, because your whole journey, that was part of the fun and the process and then enjoyment was like we're all getting hammered together and it's a togetherness, you know, especially you're playing music in the crowd, but all of a sudden, the thing that I noticed was it gets real quiet, your life gets real quiet and there's not a lot of noise, because alcohol was a liar to me again.

Greg: 37:08

This is all my journey and I'm not judging anyone, but for me, when I would start drinking, I would start lying to myself and be like you're not drunk. I would always act like I'm not as drunk as I was. You know, I'd go down the basement and drink jack and watch videos of tool playing live concerts, but I'd always come upstairs and act like I was in this hammer, as I was, so I could keep going. You know what I mean and it's like that I do, yeah, and you'd be like are you drunk? You know, and just like I walk up to you, you're drinking that wine at the thing and you're like I'm like, oh, you had that little.

Cameo: 37:43

But my mouth was probably completely purple.

Greg: 37:46

Yeah, who was I kidding? But like I guess that's the thing is like To someone that's maybe never experienced life without it for an extended period of time, you might feel like you're you're missing out on it, like it's all of a sudden like I'm just gonna I don't know Just live life without this big thing that's always been there. But it's actually opposite. It makes a lot of space and room for me, I feel like to where I can have a lot more time and a lot more space in my life and it at this point in the process you know almost ten years I feel like it's created this whole huge opportunity for growth and and that I know that if I was still drinking, that would all be full of weeds and I'm not saying People were weeds or I'm not, but like I'd probably be doing things and have hobbies and be committed to things and and my time would be spent hungover and like just a lot less time for the things that really give me enjoyment, really make me feel like I'm moving the needle in my life and taking me to where I want to go on this journey, other than like looking back a decade and be like I haven't done anything. I've partied and had fun and it's been awesome and a great experience. But what have I done? You know, like I again.

Greg: 39:12

For me that would have been how I kind of looked at my 20s. Like I. I still had that energy and want to do stuff, but how much of it was stifled because I was late to the radio interview for one of the things, because I was parting too hard the night before where I said something to somebody that was just like jeez and then they didn't want to do business with me. You know, like all these little silent killers that you just don't see because you're too drunk and I just never saw or or how. About right before we moved to Florida, my brother and a bunch of you know really good friends put together this golf outing for me to like send me off to Florida, and a lot of thought, effort, went to it and the night before me me and the neighbor were up drinking all night and Slup in the next day and miss my own golf outing. You know, awesome.

Cameo: 40:05

And you know, what's sad about that is that I must have been up drinking all night with you in the neighbor.

Cameo: 40:12

Too because I don't even remember you missing your own golf outing. The interesting thing about what you said is that you feel like you're missing out and you also mentioned that, like Drinking allowed you to lie to yourself, and I would just completely agree with both of those things as like major pillars Of evaluating my relationship with alcohol. It wasn't big lies all the time. The little lies compounded and then became big lies when I was drinking. But little lies, little lies to myself, then little lies to everybody else, little lies that were meaningless, just lapses in judgment. Then the constant guilt and shame and cover-up of all of those things. Well, what did I say? What did I do? Who did I say that to Always having alcohol as a scapegoat? Well, I was drunk. I never had to take any ownership. I would lie to myself about that too. That was a major thing for me. Was this level of ownership? That happened because I didn't have an excuse. I didn't have the excuse of alcohol allowing me to lie or perpetuating falsehood.

Cameo: 41:27

Then the other piece about missing out. That was why I think I was resistant when you stopped drinking and I wasn't ready yet, because I felt like we're just getting a fresh start on life here. I don't want to miss out, because how am I going to navigate this? But the thing about that is is that what I was really missing out on while I was drinking were the meaningful things, remembering things that our kids did when they were little, but I was hungover. If I could have that time back, I would totally take it, because I would live it differently.

Cameo: 42:04

That's the flip side of evaluating alcohol for me was that how much of my life is meaningful and how much is superficial? All of these things I think I'm getting away from with alcohol. I'm getting away from the pain, I'm getting away from dealing with that, I'm taking a load off, I'm letting my hair down. They're robbing me of the positive moments too, because if I'm numb to the negative, I'm also numb to the positive, and that realization was huge to me. I feel like when I stopped drinking and even struggled those were things that I clung to on days when I was struggling was that I have this whole new set of lenses. I feel like I'm looking out of someone else's eyes for the first time. It wasn't because I was always drunk and I was always a hot mess. I could go have one beer.

Greg: 42:53

Sure.

Cameo: 42:54

I could. I could have one beer and a glass of water. I could go all week and not drink, and I could be pregnant and not drink for months, or training for a bodybuilding show. It was just that if you group it all together, it was like this one big capsule of time lapse, uncertainty, dishonesty. One beer or a thousand, it didn't matter. Lucy goosey, giggly drunk or blackout, angry, nasty drunk, it didn't matter. There were always these little cracks.

Cameo: 43:24

So not drinking gave me a whole new vantage point and a lot of clarity. And then permission honestly you said a lot of growth Permission to really start choosing me, start choosing us, start choosing what was best for our family and confidently do so without feeling guilt, shame and shoulds. Well, we should go to this party. We should hang out and make these new friends. It was real clear that is just not the environment that I want to be in. It's just not the direction that I want to go. It doesn't make anyone a good, bad, different, it's just not for me. And there was just a lot of personal development that happened, starting nine-ish years ago, that I today wouldn't have if I hadn't started that journey and clung to it tightly.

Greg: 44:23

Again, this is just our journey. It's not no judgment, but for me I've always been very motivated and I've always wanted to win and I've always been very want to take on the world. But I've always back when we lived in Ohio and back when we were drinking I always felt like I was held back with sandbags, like, no matter how much I wanted it, I just could never go over and read those books and I never could do things with fitness. Because you might do some things for a little bit but then you fall back in and it's just easier to like oh, this party and this, it was always there to kind of like pull you back down is how it felt for me. And it's sandbagged my life, I felt.

Greg: 45:10

Once I've kind of come to terms with that. I'm like there's nothing Like when I drink a protein shake. It helps me have stronger muscles. Now there's always a reason for everything and I didn't obviously know it at the time, but through it being part of your life in so many different ways, you see life through that lens. Like we had a bar in our basement, we had alcohol.

Cameo: 45:33

You know it's just like, it's just part of the whole process and you don't see another way, like every vacation that we went on, every football game that we went to every event, every band outing, every concert, music festival, it all centered around drinking.

Greg: 45:50

Yeah, and getting so drunk that you don't remember and spending and waking up and it didn't matter if you started the night with $300 or $100, it was always gone. I mean just this, things like that that are just normal. But for the last decade haven't been normal and it's like it's just a different experience, so grateful that you know we've been on this journey and that it's that it's become, you know, one day at a time and being able to experience life this way. Now it's like looking back and again when someone from my past would say, like so sorry, you can't drink, you know, whatever, like it's not, there's nothing missing. There's like 100 things that are here now that have grown into very strong trees that are stability in my life. That wouldn't be here if I still drank Because, like, we have all this conversation, a lot where, like, we'll be like I'm so grateful for this or that or this thing, or, and then we go, we trace it back and we're like it all is because we don't drink.

Cameo: 46:56

Like it always start of every sentence.

Greg: 46:59

It can be the start of every statement, whether it's having our own business or doing things with our kids that are just you know, different and unique.

Cameo: 47:07

It's like it's because we don't drink that we different conversations, different interactions, different relationships with our kids specifically different trajectory. For sure, 100%.

Greg: 47:19

So I'm grateful for that.

Cameo: 47:21

I'm grateful for every day. I'm grateful that we're on this journey together and I'm grateful that we feel confident enough to talk about it, because I think that there is a misperception and a stigma around not drinking and you've alluded to it a few times but that there's something wrong with you if you can't drink. And I just want to reiterate that, that there's nothing wrong if you choose not to drink. And I think that people always go to that pretty quickly and it just doesn't have to be that way. And I say that because if you're someone who's been considering not drinking or evaluating your relationship with alcohol and you feel like, well, I don't have a problem, or you keep talking yourself out of trying something different in this way, it's not me. I'm not waking up needing to drink. I'm not. You know, I don't run around smelling like alcohol. I'm not missing work. I'm not getting DUIs. I'm not. I'm at every one of my kids' events.

Greg: 48:14

Everyone of my kids' events.

Cameo: 48:15

with a glass of with wine in my coffee mug, Do you know what I'm?

Greg: 48:19

saying that's just it. I think as humans we love to compare our situations and I remember there was some guy that would come into the branch in Ohio and he would just be loaded, like you could just tell that dude woke up and just was drinking hard liquor from the moment he woke up and he'd come in the branch and just would reek and you're just like wow, and you could barely understand him and he and you're like well, I'm not as bad as that guy, alcoholic clearly.

Greg: 48:49

I know that All of us that work there all of us that work there then would go then and have a go to roosters and have like wings and beer and sit in like how are we any different? We're still drinking, you know, yeah, yeah. Comparison for sure, but you compare yourself and you're. Well, I'm not as bad as him, so you know. But but it doesn't matter, I don't drink that much or I don't drink. That's what everyone says. I can stop after one or I don't.

Cameo: 49:15

I've never peed in the street. Okay Fine, like some of us take it further than others, right, but that's not the point. That's not the point it's.

Greg: 49:24

it's like just if, if anyone's listening, and if you don't care and don't, you know, don't think there's a problem and you don't, you know, don't have to have a problem, it's, it's fine, it's, it's okay, you know. But for people that are like I've always wondered, you know I'm just talking to hey, greg, at 25, you know, hey, cameo at 25, you don't have to, you literally don't have to and you don't owe anybody an explanation. And you know what, if people don't want to be your friends or if this doesn't work into your life because of that, that's a real awesome discovery to make it 25 versus at 45.

Cameo: 50:05

That's right. I love that you said that. Hey, greg, hey, cameo at 25. If you're wondering, you don't have to and you don't owe anyone an explanation, and I. That's the intent of this episode. It's like it's not for someone who's listening because, like, oh, I might have a problem and I wanna know what to do. It's more of like a hearing the other side of. What's it like to not drink at all? Like, even if you just have one drink every once in a while, why? Why even have that one? Maybe just evaluate that. Like start there. Just more curiosity than anything. What would it be like if I didn't? What would it be like if I just ordered water? How would I handle that? How would I show up to that interaction? Like more curiosity than condemning, you know, more openness than judgment and just really a clean perspective, a clean slate of like making a decision for you versus what maybe has always just kind of been.

Greg: 51:07

Well and honestly so. That's what's beautiful about this day and age is we have podcasts, because 20 years ago we didn't have podcasts and the only media you could listen to when you go to the gym or drive in your car was what they wanted you to hear.

Cameo: 51:25

So it was they quote, unquote they yes, you're right, it was filled with beer commercials.

Greg: 51:32

You know, turn on a football game on a Saturday or a Sunday it's beer commercials, beer commercials. But the difference is those people in those beer commercials are all very good looking, very fit and they're having a blast, all getting along so well. That's obviously not the reality of. That's just marketing to sell this idea. But and again, nothing's wrong with it, our country is very we love alcohol. You know that's.

Greg: 51:59

a lot of things are built around alcohol and it used to be cigarette commercials and even back in the day, like when our parents were young, they had doctors and cigarette commercials saying doctors prefer Benson and Hedge's cigarettes. I mean, like it's come a long way, We're-.

Cameo: 52:12

I only smoke, camels, you know, yeah, and I'm a doctor.

Greg: 52:15

Yeah, but like. But what's cool about this? And again, I'm just, this is me talking to me 10 years ago, when I moved to Florida and I stopped drinking and I would go to the gym or I would be in my car, I turned on podcast. I made a choice to turn on podcast, turn off the radio station, pump in the beer commercials and podcasts and thank God for 10 Ferris and guys like that that were have like these interesting guests on. That would fill my head with another way, and so that's hopefully with this message and this episode that we would reach someone that's early in their journey and just give them permission, because for me it just took that one friend that was close to me giving me permission like and some tools to like. You can do this. I did this, you can do it, cause, other than that I hadn't really seen anybody not drink.

Greg: 53:11

You know, that was a drinker that didn't. I mean that some people just never drank and they didn't count because they never were part of this experience but like to go from wild ass to you know, hey, speak for yourself, getting your shit together, and it's like, okay, I can do this. You know, you have this level of belief that like, if they can do it, I can do it. And you know, thankfully, you know, in the world now where we have podcasts, you can seek out this information and like, hopefully someone out there that might be, they might not feel like they're struggling with alcohol, but they just want to try something different in their life. They want to feel better, be able to save money, have better health, whatever.

Greg: 53:55

You know, this is definitely a huge catalyst for a better lifestyle, in my opinion.

Cameo: 54:03

Yeah, and I agree Again, that's just our experience. However.

Greg: 54:10

With a lot of conviction, because it's true.

Cameo: 54:14

Yeah, with all of that being said, I definitely encourage you to reflect on your own relationship with alcohol.

Cameo: 54:19

Consider the possibility of living a life without it and the potential for positive change. Not all the things that you're going to miss or whether you have a problem, but what is it that you're going to gain from removing it by way of relationships, experiences, hobbies, success, personal fulfillment, health, all of those things. And also just a reminder that, on this journey, it's important to remember that every moment is temporary and that it can be really scary to decide I'm not going to drink ever again, and you don't have to do that either. You don't have to do that for you, you don't have to do that for your spouse, you don't have to give anyone an explanation. You can just decide from moment to moment, situation to situation. I'm not going to drink this time, just for today. And they start stacking up, and then one day turns into 10, that turns into a year, that now, all of a sudden, it's been almost 10 years for you, greg, and almost nine for me, and it's flown by so.

Greg: 55:25

And I still don't want to say forever?

Cameo: 55:27

I still don't either. It's just today. Yeah, that's too much anxiety, I feel like I could, but that's a lot of pressure, like, oh, I'm never going to drink again.

Greg: 55:34

That's too scary, oh my God.

Cameo: 55:36

I don't have to say that just I'm not drinking. I'm still not drinking today. I didn't drink yesterday and I'm probably not going to drink tomorrow. That's good enough, and it's a personal decision. I have this quote on my computer that I'm looking at right now and I don't know how it relates, but I feel compelled to say it. Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run. There's such a great message in that that it's all about the journey and what it means to you personally. There are a lot of great resources out there, as Greg mentioned, for anyone who is interested in learning about themselves and what this life looks like without alcohol.

Greg: 56:12

This has been a great conversation and I'm so grateful to have it and hopefully we help at least one person out there just grateful to be able to share our story.