Ever been blindsided by a sudden wave of sadness or irritability and wondered, "Where did that come from?" Well, if you're a woman, it could be your menstrual cycle speaking. In this episode, I'm getting raw and real about this often whispered-about topic. I share my own eye-opening stories and the surprising emotional twists tied to the monthly cycle, not just as a woman, but as a mother to a daughter who's learning to navigate these waters too.
Join me as I dissect the phases of the menstrual cycle, shedding light on the physical and emotional signatures of each. It's an episode that beckons men to listen closely—because understanding these rhythms can transform how you support the women in your life, whether she's your partner, your daughter, or your friend.
Ever been blindsided by a sudden wave of sadness or irritability and wondered, "Where did that come from?" Well, if you're a woman, it could be your menstrual cycle speaking. In this episode, I'm getting raw and real about this often whispered-about topic. I share my own eye-opening stories and the surprising emotional twists tied to the monthly cycle, not just as a woman, but as a mother to a daughter who's learning to navigate these waters too.
Join me as I dissect the phases of the menstrual cycle, shedding light on the physical and emotional signatures of each. It's an episode that beckons men to listen closely—because understanding these rhythms can transform how you support the women in your life, whether she's your partner, your daughter, or your friend.
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, cameo, and today's topic might make some of you, specifically men, a little scourmy. But don't you dare turn this episode off, because the topic and the subject matter today applies to you, even though you might think it doesn't. It applies to you just as much, if not more, as it does to the women listening. So, without further ado, today's topic is about our periods. Dun dun dun.
Speaker 1:
We like to call it cycle season around here because we're weirdos, but feel free to adopt that. But I'm not talking about my period. What happens when I'm on my period? I'm talking about the emotional roller coaster that takes place throughout the entire month, the entire menstrual cycle. And men, here's why this pertains to you Women, ladies, you get me, you understand, you already know Men you all love a woman or women in your life your mom, your wife, your sister, your daughter, who may not be a woman yet but she will be someday, and you have sons who will someday potentially have a woman in his life. That is important to him. And understanding this cycle is important because it not only lends some compassion and empathy, but you're understanding about what we go through on a regular basis is really, really, really needed and important.
Speaker 1:
Let me first start by saying that I wish Greg were here, because he probably would add a lot of color to this episode as it pertains to the menstrual cycle from his perspective, as my husband. But he's not, and today I woke up feeling a little sad, and so that's why I'm having this episode topic today, because I woke up feeling sad for no reason. I woke up feeling sad about things like my kids are getting older and my parents are getting older and I'm getting older and our time is so limited and there's so much more to do. And have I allocated my time properly? Have I prioritized the people and the things in my life that mean the most? Because I'm running out of time? That's what I was sad about this morning. So nothing happened. I just woke up extra sad about those things this morning and I was like I was teary-eyed the other day about something else. I better check my period app. And lo and behold, I'm a couple days out Now. Let me tell you that, as a woman, I understand that this is confusing for men. It's confusing for us as women. I'm not kidding. I am 41. 41 now, not 40. I'm 41.
Speaker 1:
I've had my period for 25 years at least, and every freaking month for the last 25 years, it's like I can't even believe I'm going to start my period. In fact, for a really long time I was in denial about the fact that Greg and I would start bickering about something and he'd be like, uh-oh, you're going to start your period, it's about cycle season. And I'd be like, no, it isn't. You can't always just go to that because it serves your narrative. But lo and behold, yet again, it was probably right around the time I started my period. Now, back then I didn't have an app and I didn't track it, so I didn't always know and I didn't like write it down because that would only make sense that you would track it. But I didn't. But I always thought it was just like a scapegoat for, like him, not being on the hook for how I felt In fact, in that moment then and still sometimes, the way that I feel right before I start my period. Somehow I'm almost able to convince myself that, like, this is how I feel really, and all the other rest of the time is me just like playing into the fact that, like, everything is kosher but it's not because this is really how I feel, but I've learned that that is not actually true. It is not true, and I am no expert on the phases of the menstrual cycle. I will never claim to be, because I haven't studied it like many people have, but I am a woman who's had her period for 25 years and I think that gives me a little bit of credibility to talk about this. So let me break it down into the phases of the menstrual cycle. Let's start there.
Speaker 1:
Science, the menstrual phase is when we're on our period. Right, we're irritable, we might be sad, moody, we're bleeding, gross. Right, men, don't squirm, don't geek out, don't turn it off. It's that moment when, like, we're uncomfortable. It's not fun for anyone. It ain't fun for us, believe me. So that's the phase that we're all most familiar with. Right, okay, you're on your period. Cool.
Speaker 1:
After we're off of our period, there's the follicular phase. Follicular, we're going to go with that. What happens in that two weeks after our period, is that our energy levels are up, we're in a great mood, we're optimistic, we're energetic, we're creative, we're motivated, we're like ready to go out and socialize, we're feeling good. And then, around day 14, we ovulate. Now, I'm not talking about, like getting pregnant. So that's a totally different conversation. I'm just talking about the phases of the menstrual cycle. So, after having a period, you go through the follicular phase and then you ovulate, and that's when we like to say around here we lay an egg. God, we're weird, but typically women are like really feeling themselves when we're ovulating because we feel attractive and assertive, and that does go back to like being ready to mate, right, procreate, but we're not talking about that. Okay, so we ovulate.
Speaker 1:
Then this is the phase that I want to talk about the most. We go into the luteal phase. Our progesterone levels go up, which means that we become extremely moody and emotionally sensitive. Okay, we call this most commonly PMS. Oh, she's PMS-ing. Yep, I am, I am, I'm irritable, I'm anxious and I ain't happy about it either.
Speaker 1:
Let's not get it twisted. I'm not happy about it either. In fact I'm not. I don't even understand it. Half the time it's like an alien takes over my body and Greg would like, if he was here, he would attest to that. He's like I feel like somebody else moves in for a week and I don't even know the woman I'm living with Now every month. No, sometimes it's less intense than others. I don't even know why, like I've tried to pay attention to my diet, I've tried to understand why is one month better than the next? I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet, but some months are fine. Other months are so intense that it's like I don't even want to be around. I don't want to be around my cats.
Speaker 1:
Not only do we, like lose our sense of emotional regulation, but we also feel like shit. Let's just get real. We bloat, our boobs, hurt, we have headaches, and that just makes all of our emotional problems even worse, because then I'm like, I don't even feel good. So not only am I angry and sad and anxious and I don't understand why, but also I feel like shit. This is where that empathy and understanding men comes in right, because what has happened in my house is that in the past, like I've mentioned, greg would be like oh, you're going to start your period and that just exacerbates the problem, and then that causes a lot of conflict between he and I. That doesn't need to be there. So that's why it's important for you to understand as men and women like, let me just stop right there and interject myself.
Speaker 1:
I didn't start paying attention to this, like I mentioned, until like pretty damn recently. So every month it would sneak up on me and I'd be like I just had my period, I can't be getting ready to start my period. There's no way Greg's crazy and he's just looking to blame me and I was like resistant to the idea too, until I like woke up and was like something makes sense here from a from a phase standpoint, and there's a lot of great resources out there. This is an example of where, like, instagram comes in handy, because I followed this lady and I'll link her in the show notes. That like breaks down all of these phases, and now it's a topic of conversation for women to understand their own bodies and then have conversations like this with the men in their lives, also with their children.
Speaker 1:
Like I mentioned, you may have sons who are going to grow up and have women in their life that are important to them. Well, our daughter too. I have an 18 year old daughter. She goes through the same phases of her cycle that I do, and so I've been able, as her mom, to understand a little bit more than maybe I did with my own self that, like she may be being emotional and dramatic, it isn't her fault. It feels very real in that luteal phase, in that moment, about a week before you start your period, maybe even a little longer that like shit is not right. And so when she's upset about something, I've been able, as her mother, to extend a little bit more compassion and just be like I'm sorry, baby, like I understand, I understand why you're angsty and why you're disrespectful or short with us. Like I know you're not, you don't mean to be, it's tough, it is tough.
Speaker 1:
So here are all the things that I would say to this that I think are important. It's important to understand that there are these four phases of menstrual cycle. To begin with, it's also important to remember that ain't nobody like it, nobody's having a good time during this particular phase, the luteal phase Like nobody's, like oh, this is awesome, I'm so glad that you're in an emotional train wreck, cool, nobody loves it. But if we can extend some compassion and understanding, we can like understand what to do with it, right? So one of the things that has worked for me is that, like this morning I said, I woke up sad, I checked my tracker Thank God for technology and it's like okay, gonna start my period in a couple of days right on schedule.
Speaker 1:
Like just the awareness of that gives me a little bit of permission to be like, okay, what I'm feeling and experiencing is completely normal. So, instead of being like I'm not actually being bitchy, this is how I really feel. Greg, it's your fault, I can go. Okay, I am probably being bitchy. I can definitely feel it in my chest, I can feel the anxiety there, I can feel my body not feeling well and confirm it with my tracker. So, like I need to, you know, take a little few deep breaths and get it together, like remind myself that, though this may feel very real and your feelings are always valid, if you feel them it's valid but that they may be feeling a little extra, feeling a little twisted, and that, again, it may feel very real, but often it isn't that real.
Speaker 1:
But what happens then is that I can actually kind of separate myself from what I'm feeling and, instead of identifying with what I'm feeling and it becoming so ingrained in who I am, I'm able to say, okay, this too shall pass and I've found ways to nurture myself. So I know that even the last thing I wanna do is go move my body. It is the time when I wanna lay in bed in fetal position, and sometimes I do. I wanna eat everything that has sugar in it in my house and I definitely do not wanna go be active. But with my awareness of where I am in my cycle, I'm able to go. Okay, you gotta separate yourself and you need to go move your body. It will help you feel better, even though it's the last thing you wanna do. So that's something that I do and I've made a point to do to try to help myself keep that energy level high vibration, like not succumb to low vibration energy in my body. And then I just allow myself to feel these feelings and know that they're separate from me and, instead of getting stuck in a spiral, I can just identify them as what they are. So I move my body, I identify my feelings as what they are and I don't become so wrapped up in the definition of how it defines me.
Speaker 1:
The other thing that has worked for me and I am so grateful to my husband and my kids for this is that, like everyone in my household is very aware of this conversation, and even our 14 year old almost 14 year old son, so I feel confident telling Greg or our kids like, hey, I need a little space. I'm gonna probably seem a little edgy, I might seem a little emotional, a little touchy. It isn't you? I'm sorry in advance. I'm trying to keep it under control. But I definitely understand that. This is where I am. It's cycle season because we're weird and we don't really say that to our kids. We just, greg and I, are weird when we say that to each other.
Speaker 1:
But it is known in our household that this is happening and the simple fact that everyone is on the same page about understanding it doesn't always help it 100%, but it definitely curbs any of the extra tension that happens around the house. Like we're at the point now where Greg will just be like you know, I know you need a little space. I'm just gonna kind of keep my distance from you because we're human and we do have emotional reactivity. So like sometimes it doesn't make it okay. I'm not saying that by any means, so let me just qualify that but like, sometimes I don't keep my shit together very well. Greg is human, so he emotionally reacts to that and we've found that like maybe is a way to curb any of that conflict. He just kind of like keeps his distance when we know that this is the time of month that we're in that works in our household. It doesn't again. It doesn't like make it okay.
Speaker 1:
Okay, cameo's a bitch for a week and everybody's okay with that. It gives her the right to just treat everybody like shit. That is not what I'm saying. But what I am saying is that everyone's very aware that, like she's maybe a little more edgy and we're gonna like understand that and keep our distance, men. That's why I hope you're hanging on here so that you can kind of gather that and look at your wife or your daughter or the women that you work with. You don't have to like know their cycle per se. You know TMI. You don't want to, but like maybe if somebody seems a little off, this could be the culprit. It happens every three weeks. It sneaks in, happens quickly.
Speaker 1:
The last thing I wanna say is a little bit of a disclaimer. Listen, ladies, there are ways that you can help tame this, and whatever that looks like for you, I encourage you to seek it out. So, whether that's getting your hormones tested to see where your levels are and see if there's anything off there, researching and making adjustments to your diet, which is something that both of those things I have done recently, like over the last couple of years. But also, you know, there are professionals in this realm our gynecologists, our therapists who can help us navigate and mitigate these swings, this rollercoaster of emotions that we experience. And there's no right or wrong, there's no shame in asking for help if you need it. In fact, I encourage you to explore that If what you're experiencing feels really, really extreme and that's what professional help is for, so don't shy away from that.
Speaker 1:
Even if you have the best understanding of your cycle, even if you've tried everything in your house and it feels like you should have it under control, every woman goes through this. Just knock it off, just go talk to someone and see what you can do, because we all deserve to understand but also to try to feel as best as we can in our own bodies and in our own relationships and our day-to-day interaction. So that's the most serious part of this episode, and I mean that. I have tried multiple different things over the course of my adult life here and most recently I've found that through diet, exercise and more understanding and hormone testing, I can try to navigate this as best as I ever have in my life. So if you're still here, guys, I hope this helps provide some insight into what we go through as women.
Speaker 1:
Now, I know you go through plenty as men too, so I'm definitely not discrediting that either and I'm definitely not saying give your wife or the women in your life a hall pass. I'm just saying, with some understanding, it can cultivate compassion and it can help you understand the different roller coasters that you might ride on a monthly basis. Unfortunately, it happens every three to four weeks and like the moon becomes full, we do too, so as women Now the whole pregnancy conversation and like fertility and then the whole perimenopause and menopausal conversation not the same as what we're talking about today, cause I have a feeling at 41, I'm probably getting ready. Some of my friends, I've definitely seen some of my aunts and moms go through perimenopause and menopause in the most recent years of my life and I know I am quickly approaching that as a conversation for another day. But, men, my goal was to help you understand women. My goal was to help you feel seen and understand and quit it with the shame and with the.
Speaker 1:
We're not victims. It's just something that we have to deal with and we can take some of it in our own hands. To a certain extent, we need help in other ways. We need support from our partners, we need medicine, whatever we need. But this conversation, I hope, has been enlightening for everyone, because it is a major part of our life, whether we want it to be or not, and it doesn't have to be weird and awkward, it just is. So thank you for tuning in. I know these topics can sometimes be uncomfortable, but it's just life. It's just life. So talk to your significant other. Ladies, share this with your man. Men, share this with your brother. It in gross. It's not gross and scary. I'm not using words that Greg creeps out about, like uterus and cervix. Female anatomy makes Greg cringe. I'm not talking about any of that stuff. So until right now. So just share it anyway and spread, spread the word, spread the knowledge. It might help somebody really.