Ever found yourself chained to the ghost of a past mistake, unable to shake off the weight of regret? Imagine setting that burden down for good. Join me on a quest for self-liberation as we journey into the heart of forgiveness. This episode is aimed at leading you away from the shadows of past errors and into the light of self-acceptance. We're exploring the art of letting go and the relief that comes with understanding that our blunders are not stumbling blocks but stepping stones to personal growth.
Let's recognize our shared humanity in life's imperfections and how this recognition can reshape our interactions, offering second chances and fresh starts. I'm challenging you to join me in toting a lighter backpack through life—without the unnecessary heaviness of self-criticism and the concrete boots of remorse. No more being held captive by the chains of "what if" and "if only"—let's step into a world where every mistake is merely the prelude to a better version of ourselves.
Ever found yourself chained to the ghost of a past mistake, unable to shake off the weight of regret? Imagine setting that burden down for good. Join me on a quest for self-liberation as we journey into the heart of forgiveness. This episode is aimed at leading you away from the shadows of past errors and into the light of self-acceptance. We're exploring the art of letting go and the relief that comes with understanding that our blunders are not stumbling blocks but stepping stones to personal growth.
Let's recognize our shared humanity in life's imperfections and how this recognition can reshape our interactions, offering second chances and fresh starts. I'm challenging you to join me in toting a lighter backpack through life—without the unnecessary heaviness of self-criticism and the concrete boots of remorse. No more being held captive by the chains of "what if" and "if only"—let's step into a world where every mistake is merely the prelude to a better version of ourselves.
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, cameo, and if you're new here, we're glad to have you and if you're not, welcome back. Thanks for being here. Today we are going to talk about a topic that touches us all moving past our mistakes and learning to let go of regret. So let's start with a reality check, shall we? According to a recent survey, 90% of us admit to being held back by regret over a past decision. Y'all that's nearly all of you, everyone listening to this. If you're one of the lucky 10 percenters, congratulations. But I would like to say that I'm sure you've made a mistake, because I think that number goes to 100% when it comes to making mistakes. I make about 100 a day and biggest mistakes I've made in my lifetime that I am obviously not proud of, but the things that were a catalyst to making meaningful change in my life by learning from those mistakes and taking sometimes drastic action to not make those mistakes again. And then, of course, sharing the process of overcoming the regret that's associated with those mistakes. So I want you to think about a mistake you've made in the past or in the recent past Got it, hold it. Hold that thought.
Speaker 1:
Mistakes are like weights. The more we carry, the harder it is to move forward. It's like you have weights in your backpack and every step is heavy. And I'm not talking about on purpose like rucking. I'm talking about the metaphorical backpack that literally is like, so heavy it feels like your feet are concrete. But here's the thing letting go of those weights, putting down that backpack, busting out of the concrete, starts with forgiving yourself. It is the first step to true freedom. It's easier to say that statement than it is to actually do it, and I realize it. We need courage to learn from our past and not live in it. I'll say that again we need courage to learn from our past and not live in it.
Speaker 1:
Forgiving yourself does not mean that you forget what happened, or that what happened wasn't important, or that it wasn't hurtful or that it wasn't awful. It simply means that you're giving yourself permission to move on, to not be defined by that mistake, to say, yep, I did that, I messed up, that was me, but I am no longer going to associate myself with that. I accept that I did it. I accept the consequences. This is like from forgetting something trivial today to like the biggest mistake you may have thought of when I said think of a mistake you made, all of it, forgive yourself. You're a freaking human and you're going to make mistakes and you have to forgive yourself when you do. It is the only way to survive making mistakes, and you know what's beautiful about that. When we do that for ourselves, we are then able to start seeing other people's mistakes in a new light, and forgiveness isn't just about us any longer. It's about creating space where we can all be flawed and we can all mess up and still be worthy of love and still be worthy of, dare I say, second chances, and still be worthy of love and still be worthy of, dare I say, second chances and still be worthy of new beginnings.
Speaker 1:
So think about that forgiving yourself. That might be harder than forgiving someone else, because you have to stick with you. If someone else wrongs you, you can simply move on without them, but you can't move on without yourself. If you consider forgiving someone who has wronged you, how does that feel? I mentioned freedom and forgiving yourself, but imagine the freedom that you experience when you forgive someone who has wronged you, because the truth is in my experience I hold this as truth that when someone wrongs you and you hold onto that the only person suffering is you, because you don't know that they're even still thinking about it. Perhaps they've forgiven themselves, accepted it as a lesson and moved on, and you're still walking around carrying that heavy ass backpack full of angst and anger and sadness toward this person or this situation. Forgiving them removes your shackles and, again, much easier said than done, that also takes courage.
Speaker 1:
Here's what I want you to do with regard to forgiving yourself this week. I want you to do it like immediately after you listen to this episode, so whenever that is, as soon as it's over, I want you to pick up a pen and a piece of paper and I want you to write down one mistake you've been holding onto. Maybe it's the one you thought of when we started this episode and right beside it, I want you to write yourself a note of forgiveness. That simple, I forgive you, for it can be as elaborate as you want. You can explain what it was, why. It's okay to move on, but I want you to simply write down the mistake and then the note of forgiveness. And, if you're feeling extra brave and courageous, I want you to write down a mistake that someone else made that wronged you, a mistake that someone else made that wronged you, and beside that, I want you to write down. I forgive you, for maybe they're ready for it and you can share it with them, and maybe they're not, and maybe that doesn't even come into play. But let me tell you what this act of writing this down Isn't really about them. It's about freeing yourself. You deserve that freedom. We all do, so let's ditch the heavy backpack.
Speaker 1:
Now, in addition to forgiving yourself for your mistakes that you've made unless you haven't made any, which is not likely let's get real. I want to talk about ways to overcome regret. I mentioned that I talk about this a great deal in my book, the Reset Button. I break it down into what are called the three R's of the reset button reflect, reset and reinvent and the first one reflect is a way to move past regret from mistakes that you've made. You spend some time reflecting on what you've learned, and that can be a really hard pill to swallow. It requires brutal honesty with yourself to say, okay, I made this huge mistake and here are the things that I learned. What I want you to do is focus on the positive things that you learned, the things that you learned about yourself in that moment, the things that you learned about others or the situation, so that you can carry that forward and hang on that. Because, as we've discussed in previous episodes, the power of positivity is real. So if you can take a negative and you can find the gift in the pain, you can find the positive and the negative. It allows you to move forward with less regret, if any at all, and much faster.
Speaker 1:
The next thing that can help with moving past regret is to talk it out. Sometimes talking about your regrets with a friend can like alleviate the negativity that you have associated with whatever it is that you're regretting. They can provide a different perspective or help you see a new light, and it can help shed, then that regret that you've been carrying around. You might see that maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as you thought, or maybe it was regret that you've been carrying around. You might see that maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as you thought, or maybe it was, but that you deserve again a chance to begin again. And the next thing that you can do to overcome regret that kind of is a segue from that suggestion is to come up with some kind of practice or a mantra and I know it sounds corny, but come up with some kind of practice or a mantra that you interrupt yourself with when you start slipping into regretful thoughts. It brings you right back into the present moment. So you're not dwelling on the past, you're not dwelling on the mistake, you're not regretting the choices. You're right back in the moment, where you are, where you've already overcome or you're working on overcoming that mistake, and it can be anything you want it to be. Whatever it is that helps you when you recognize that you're falling into that pattern.
Speaker 1:
Just don't go get a tattoo that's spelled wrong, because, well, even that's fixable, right, even that's forgivable and fixable If it says no regrets or whatever. Those tattoos are that you see online? Like you can get a tattoo covered or removed? Are that you see online? Like you can get a tattoo covered or removed? Everything is figureoutable. As Maria Orleo says, you can figure anything out and you certainly can figure out how to overcome your mistakes and your regrets.
Speaker 1:
And the last thing that I'll mention as a way to overcome dwelling on the past or regrets is to visualize yourself free of that burden. What does it look like when you're not carrying around that heaviness, when you're not carrying around that angst, when you're not carrying around that horrible image of yourself that you have from a mistake that you've made, or horrible image of someone else for something that they've done to you. Keep that vision in mind and it will help you move on. It'll help you break free. It'll keep you motivated to maybe not go there again and focus on making different decisions in the future. Let's promise to be a little bit kinder to ourselves. Let's ditch the weighted backpack. Just put the damn thing down. Get out some paper, write down your lists of forgiveness. Come up with new tactics, new ways of overcoming these mistakes and the regrets that you feel associated with them.
Speaker 1:
I'll leave you with something that I found on the gram. Do people still say that? Still say the gram? Probably not I that Still say the gram? Probably not. I think you just say Instagram like a normal person.
Speaker 1:
Anyway, and forgive my language, love yourself when you fuck up, when you make mistakes or when you talk too much. Love yourself when you lose your way, when you react to things that don't deserve your attention or you forget your intentions. You react to things that don't deserve your attention or you forget your intentions. Love your shadows, your wounds and especially the things you don't want to see. Love all of it. Thank you for joining me on this journey today. I hope you found a little inspiration to help you move forward and move past and put the backpack down. If you've enjoyed today's topic, be sure to explore other episodes and don't forget to visit my website to sign up for my weekly newsletter, the weekly reset, for podcast updates and the latest on my book, the reset button. You're all going to feel a little lighter after listening to this episode and doing some of these exercises until next time.