In this episode, my husband and co-host Greg, shares his inspiring journey of overcoming past traumas through the transformative power of EMDR therapy. Tune in to hear how this groundbreaking treatment has provided Greg with the tools to process and heal from unresolved emotional baggage, ultimately enhancing his well-being and enriching every facet of his life. We also bust some common myths about therapy and stress the importance of seeking help and prioritizing mental health, especially for men who may feel societal pressure to avoid such support.
This episode is part 1 of a 2 part series and a heartfelt reminder of the potential for healing when one commits to their mental health journey.
More Cameo - Word up!
Sign up for The Weekly Reset Newsletter!
https://www.cameoelysebraun.com
https://www.instagram.com/cameoelysebraun
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2083952/support
In this episode, my husband and co-host Greg, shares his inspiring journey of overcoming past traumas through the transformative power of EMDR therapy. Tune in to hear how this groundbreaking treatment has provided Greg with the tools to process and heal from unresolved emotional baggage, ultimately enhancing his well-being and enriching every facet of his life. We also bust some common myths about therapy and stress the importance of seeking help and prioritizing mental health, especially for men who may feel societal pressure to avoid such support.
This episode is part 1 of a 2 part series and a heartfelt reminder of the potential for healing when one commits to their mental health journey.
More Cameo - Word up!
Sign up for The Weekly Reset Newsletter!
https://www.cameoelysebraun.com
https://www.instagram.com/cameoelysebraun
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2083952/support
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, cameo, and I am joined today by my husband and co-host and partner in crime, mr Greg Braun.
Speaker 2:How's it going?
Speaker 1:Greg usually starts us off with a dad joke.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, have you heard the one about the gas lighter?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have.
Speaker 1:He always has them perfectly lined up with our topics. Today's episode is actually all about Greg and his experience with recently completing EMDR therapy. I'm going to use my phone for cheat notes here so that I don't get anything wrong. Emdr therapy is called eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing therapy. It is a structured psychotherapy approach primarily used to treat trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. Emdr is based on the idea that trauma can disrupt normal information processing, causing distress, and it uses bilateral stimulation to help reprocess these memories correctly.
Speaker 1:I don't want to get into the steps of EMDR and claim to know anything about the process of EMDR from a clinical standpoint, but what I do want to do is literally let Greg share his experience with EMDR therapy in hopes that it will encourage someone who feels stuck, who feels scared, who feels confused about why they can't get over something or get through something that has presented itself as a traumatic experience for them to seek this out and to not be afraid to learn about it and to get the help that they need to process through things.
Speaker 1:We are really big around here on mental health and therapy and debunking the myth that something's wrong with you or that you're weak or that you're not manly enough if you go to therapy, because we have seen firsthand what the proper process of therapy can do to change our lives and our relationships for the better. So, without further ado, I'm going to kind of turn it over to you because I think that, aside from me asking questions, you're going to explain this and your experience better than any other way than just saying go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am nothing special. I'm just a human being that's going through life and I am dealing with things that have happened to me and I'm dealing with trauma from my childhood and I'm dealing with just things that life throws at you, life-lifing. And so I think a lot of times to deal with things is just move on to the next thing, either a new distraction, so I don't have to really deal with the thing, or I'll just jump into this next relationship without really evaluating what I messed up in the previous one. I'm just going to jump to the next one. Relationship could be a job, a new girlfriend. We just have it in our DNA, I think, to just keep charging forward, keep charging forward, especially men, especially men, because it's results and we want to just keep moving, keep on moving.
Speaker 1:Or we find coping mechanisms that aren't necessarily a distraction, but they're just our way of dealing with not having to address what's happening. I mean, they really are a distraction if you get real and break it down to the most basic, but typically it's some type of destructive behavior that you're participating in to cover up the pain that you might be experiencing inside.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so on the journey of not drinking. It has given me a lot of space and the ability to maybe evaluate and see things. But there's some things that you just, like you said, stuck. Some things. Just they feel like you're stuck on them. So, no matter what is happening in your real time life, emotionally you're maybe stuck at 12 years old where you had some traumatic event happen. So you might be 46 year old man, but you're still stuck back here emotionally. You can physically be 46. You can physically be in years this many years on earth but you might have something that stunted your emotional growth early on and you just never got past it and then you're just kind of going through life with the best you can, but you're emotionally at like a 12 year old or a 16 year old. You know, that's just like an example of what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Something that you carry with you that you don't even recognize, because it wasn't something that.
Speaker 2:You dealt with. Yeah, right you didn't deal with it, you didn't process it through and don't have the tools.
Speaker 1:Or maybe didn't even realize at the time that it was something that was traumatic happening to you.
Speaker 1:Right. So for those of you who are new to the show and maybe just joining us for the first time, greg and I have been married almost 20 years. We have had our share of ups and downs, both very high peaks and very low lows. 10 years ago, we moved our family from Ohio to Florida. We were experiencing an extremely low point in our marriage and in our lives individually for various reasons and had some traumatic events that we were dealing with in the process of that, as if moving a thousand miles away from everything that you know isn't already traumatic. It was as a result of traumatic. It was as a result of traumatic unprocessed stuff that we were dealing with. And so, kind of back to the beginning for you like you stopped drinking 10 years ago because we moved here to deal with things in a different way and through the course of your own self-discovery and your own healing, you found new pathways and new things that you embarked upon that, because of the space not drinking gave you, helped. You feel like you were healing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean this sounds crazy to say this, but the only reason I think I never really dealt with it prior to that was because I was busy. I was too busy to deal with things If I wasn't at work doing my job. I was working on projects that meant something to me, or and then after that I would, I would drink, you know, and I would like there would always be something to, but never just the space and time to like, reflect and try to figure things out. You know, give yourself that and so really deep level.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean not just surface, but yeah on a deep level.
Speaker 1:So, as we moved and you were working on things and things were starting to feel better, there were still some things that, just as you mentioned, felt stuck Like for some reason. There were things that, even though you felt like you had all the tools and like you had already kind of been feeling better and making meaningful, positive changes in your life and feeling empowered to do so and do more of sometimes you would like life would happen and you would be triggered which is a triggering word, but be triggered by something that would take you back and literally suck you and draw you right back in to that moment that subconsciously you had locked in as something traumatic that you hadn't dealt with. Can you explain what that felt like, or like am I describing that correctly?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean and again, it's probably very common for people to feel this way Like when someone says something to you in the Starbucks line, it makes you very mad because they say it in a way that just brings up this old emotion that's just lingering inside of you, maybe of disrespect, maybe you were disrespected as a young age and someone says something and you're just like, oh, and you, just you know that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:So like these things, just you, you know you can't get past them, you can't like process them, you can't like why, why do I still get angry? Because anger is not, it's like a secondary emotion, like really I'm hurt, so therefore I'm angry, you know. So it's like, why am I angry about this thing? Or why do I see you through this lens of fear or anger when in reality, there's nothing to be scared of? And there's not, you know, like just took, like me being like severely upset for days about nothing, and then, finally, like I remember, just like sitting in the hot tub watching the birds like a crazy old man, you know, and I'm just like my God, I just I need to deal with this because this is not my reality.
Speaker 1:So do you remember what it was that like had upset you to the point where you were on these several days into feeling angry or depressed or whatever it was. Do you remember what it was?
Speaker 2:So yeah, I mean, we were in Costa Rica and it was like we were flying home and whatever tensions and just you know, being on family vacation brings.
Speaker 1:The stress of coming home and it was like right after. Covid, we had to get. Covid tested before we could board the plane and like, finally get into the terminal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were on our way home and I, and it was a simple. We were on our way home and I, and it was a simple, innocent thing, and you were just trying to be helpful, but again, I had my, my, my, I was flared up, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, things were intense.
Speaker 2:Things were intense. So when I said you're like, do you want something to drink? And I was like, yeah, can you get me a Starbucks. You said, would you? How about a Red Bull? And I was like, no, I want a Starbucks. And I think it was just like I was tired of being questioned. As men, we like to make decisions and be supportive of that, and you know I really appreciate your ability to give me feedback and you know that's just something I love about you. But, like in that moment, I just wanted a Starbucks, you know, and so it was just like it really pissed me off.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and you look at me like I'm a crazy three horn devil that why would you be mad at that? I'm just asking you if you want a Red Bull, and I'm looking at you like why wouldn't you just get me a Starbucks, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's just again. Everything always comes back to communication.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything that's right.
Speaker 2:Communication with yourself to start with. And then we came home and we were just kind of like a couple days of being home and I was still really pissed off about it, everything pissed me off about it, everything pissed me off about it and it just made me go to a really dark place because of our history and feeling disrespected triggered so many other emotions inside of me of my childhood traumas and I didn't know how to get out of it. And again, if I was a drinker, I know how to get out of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, but I wasn't and I was just trying to like, figure out the reality. So, through the guidance of our marriage counselor, she was like, hey, have you ever heard of EMDR therapy? And we're like, no, she's like, find somebody locally that's an expert at that and I think that would really help you. So that's kind of what happened Research, somebody that specializes in it. And again, for me, I have an open mind about things. I don't claim to have it all figured out and I'm open to trying things to see you know what works, what doesn't. I'm not going to cling to some idea that I, that I know best and you know that that's not going to work for me. I'm willing to see what it's all about and I read some research about it and it and it makes sense. You know, to me it made sense, the process of it.
Speaker 1:So do you feel like you always felt that way? Or do you feel like there was a time, even a decade ago, when we first went to marriage counseling, where you might have been not resistant, like I don't mean you were ever giving me pushback about going, or maybe hell, it was even your idea to go when we were having trouble 10 years ago but, like I feel for women and men, but specifically for men, there's a lot of like macho or shame that's associated with like seeking out help. Did you feel that way ever about going to therapy or this type of therapy in particular, where it was went from being couples counseling to you individually?
Speaker 2:Maybe I would have in the past probably in the past, maybe you know but in this situation I just through the last decade of growing and reading lots of books and just really investing in my personal growth. Part of that journey has been extreme ownership. So if I'm going through something, I'm not going to look to blame anybody else. That's just for me. That's been. My process is like if I have a problem with something, somebody, some situation, whatever, what can I do to control it? And so I wasn't looking to blame anybody else or looking for a reason why that it wasn't something that I could take ownership of and fix myself.
Speaker 1:And so there also wasn't this feeling of like real men don't go to therapy.
Speaker 2:I think the macho thing is not part of the equation. You know, just because that's flawed. Yeah, you know that's not real. That's what I was going for and hoping that you would know, just because that's flawed, yeah, you know that's not real.
Speaker 1:That's what I was going for and hoping that you would say that's not real. Because, although you say that and you do tend to be open, and you have done a ton of work and I have been fortunate to witness that growth and development and be right beside you all of this time, I don't know that everyone feels that way.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And you know I don't know that everyone feels that way and I don't want to blanket statement or stereotype. But men specifically feel like nothing's wrong with me, I'm not broken, I don't need help, especially when it comes to dealing with something traumatic or emotional. And I would also add to that, separate from that but along the lines of trauma. We had a guest on the podcast early one of the very first episodes. She may have even been my very first or second guest, but Crystal Bell was on talking about PTSD and how there was this feeling of unworthiness because we think of PTSD as like people who go off to war and witness insane things or first responders, and that having emotional PTSD was something that felt like well, I don't qualify for that, like I don't need that in depth of some type of therapy or help for that, and almost a feeling of like guilt or shame for even having, you know, an emotional PTSD to even deal with.
Speaker 1:When it comes to like that whole comparison of what we accept or what we view in society is what PTSD is. And so I just wanted to touch on that quickly about the machoism. But then also this feeling of like well, I'm not, I don't, I'm not worthy of getting that type of help, because it's not that extreme. It's not about that. It is about you and what you're experiencing in your life in all varying degrees, for varying reasons, and what's traumatic for one person may not be for the next, but it's about learning how to have the tools and to have the understanding of how to get through it and really live a full life, because you're no longer, yeah, living in that past experience yeah, and and if you find yourself like this thing always just really upsets me, this thing really bothers me, that's probably a sign that you're stuck on something.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you just can't get past it and it just creates this emotional baggage that it doesn't just go away. The reason I kind of like scoff at the macho thing like with, you know, going to therapy or whatever it's kind of to me. My view on it is, if I'm out of shape, then I would need to work out and get my body in shape. Your emotional fitness is no different to me, like it's all part of the equation. It's not anything that's like oh, we don't talk about that. You're not born knowing how to do all this stuff and life continues to keep coming at you. I mean, things happen, decades go by and if you don't deal with things, it just builds up and it just kind of sits in your temporary storage to a point where you just lose your shit over something silly like a coffee in a Starbucks.
Speaker 1:A Red Bull right. So it wasn't ever about the Red Bull, but that feeling of being questioned triggered you and took you to a dark space for days where we reached out in an emergency call to our couples counselor because it was like save us, we're like going way off course here and like we're ready to and you're confused because you're like.
Speaker 2:All I did was ask him if he wanted a red bull and he's ready to like pack his bags and and, and you were so surprised when she was like well came.
Speaker 2:You men don't like to be questioned about every little decision. For all the women out there that are listening, think about that. It's like nagging wife. But men actually really, really, really don't like that. That really tears down their feeling of being a man. There's ways to frame it so you don't feel like you're questioning. A little decision like that feels like a big, big decision, especially if you're a traumatized you know, if you've got trauma that you need to deal with.
Speaker 1:Well, and just really quickly again.
Speaker 1:Huge advocates of therapy or counseling, because it is so important to have someone who is an outside, unbiased professional provide that kind of clarity and some parameters for you, because you're right, I was kind of shocked, like all I did was ask him if he wanted possibly something else, because I saw a Red Bull and got excited and that was it. And for him to, in my mind, twist that into me being a controlling, nagging wife was so unfair. But for her to be able to step in and be like your feelings aren't wrong, like I can see why you would feel that way. But you also have to consider that just by merely making a suggestion, men and women are different. They view things differently. Women want to say does this dress look good on me in yellow? And for someone to be like, oh, why don't you try the pink one? And then they're like, okay, I'll try the pink one. But men would be like why would you suggest I try something else? Is this not good enough?
Speaker 2:or whatever, and until that moment we were like we didn't see it that way and that phone call took a total different direction, because you were thinking this is all him. He's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1:And I would further that by saying it isn't necessarily just men and women. I think that again, it goes back to what our own personal experiences are, maybe things that we don't even recognize have happened in our life or to us at different phases in our childhood, our adolescence, our adulthood, that have left an imprint on us our adolescence, our adulthood, that have left an imprint on us.
Speaker 1:And so it went from this Red Bull versus coffee to me versus you to our counselor saying, hey, greg, the reason that that went from just being a little incident that you need to communicate better about to being a five day or however long it was situation where you're ready to like throw in the towel, is because there's some unprocessed gunk that's living in your body and that's inhibiting you from seeing things for what they are in the moment, because it's bringing you back to whenever that trauma happened. So it went from a Red Bull to you going to EMDR therapy. And can you tell us what that was like when you went in? Because it's different than going in and sitting on a couch and having a conversation with a person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I absolutely loved the process of it and I am open to going back if I ever need. You know need to because, it's just again.
Speaker 2:It's like lifting weights, it's like, you know, eating clean. I mean, it's just part. It's taking care of your emotional self. So for me it was really cool because it was a blend of talk therapy where I could go and talk to someone that was going to be a good listener, that's going to give me feedback and good tips and not going to take sides, and just I had never had individual therapy like that. We've had couples therapy but have individual therapy was was nice. And then also the EMDR part of it is, you know, you put on headphones, there's a thing you can watch, and it kind of I don't know it stimulates the left and right brain.
Speaker 1:That's that bilateral that. I was describing at the beginning, right when it causes you to focus on moving your thought process back and forth in your brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's crazy. It sounds nutty, but I don't know how. Scientifically all the details, but I just know how I am now compared to before I did it, and I'm a totally different person emotionally, because after doing that, I don't even know how long, maybe a couple months. I'm not even sure how long I did that.
Speaker 1:I think it was a couple months.
Speaker 2:It was just such a great experience because everything's a lot calmer. If something comes up that would have triggered me, I can look at it more objectively and be almost like I would watch it on a Netflix show. You watch it, you see it, you experience it, and then it just goes away Not something that you pull up in your emotional storage and feel the pain of that moment like it's happening right now, even though it was 30 years ago. And that's how it felt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I want to get into that definitely a little bit deeper. But when you said how many sessions you went to, it reminded me of a stat that I found about EMDR therapy and the results, and it says that it often results in faster recovery compared to other treatments. A study found that 84% to 100% of single trauma PTSD patients were no longer diagnosed with PTSD after six to 12 sessions. So, depending on the frequency of how long you're going, I think you went once a week for about two months, so maybe six to eight sessions.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we can talk about the day when you went and you came home and you're like I'm done.