In this episode of the Cameo Show, we engage in an explorative conversation about “enjoying the process” versus “trusting the process,” especially when the process isn’t one you chose or when the process involves a lot of "suck".
What does it even mean!? What if I don't want to?!
This episode focuses on an open-ended discussion, pondering ideas for how to embrace life’s unchosen challenges, stay present, and turn setbacks into personal growth. Tune in for an insightful dialogue on finding joy and trust in life's evolving journey, without predefined answers or solutions.
In this episode of the Cameo Show, we engage in an explorative conversation about “enjoying the process” versus “trusting the process,” especially when the process isn’t one you chose or when the process involves a lot of "suck".
What does it even mean!? What if I don't want to?!
This episode focuses on an open-ended discussion, pondering ideas for how to embrace life’s unchosen challenges, stay present, and turn setbacks into personal growth. Tune in for an insightful dialogue on finding joy and trust in life's evolving journey, without predefined answers or solutions.
Hello and welcome to the Cameo Show. I'm your host, cameo.
Speaker 2:
I'm Greg.
Speaker 1:
This is Greg. He's my husband and co-host every once in a while, and he usually starts us off with a dad joke.
Speaker 2:
So yes, how did the barber win the race?
Speaker 1:
I don't know. He took a shortcut and that's why he starts us off with a dad joke. Today, sweatpants are not mandatory, but they are encouraged. We are gonna talk about enjoying the process. Now what does that? Are going to talk about enjoying the process, now what does that mean? We talk about enjoying the process a lot. We see it everywhere. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the process. What does it mean? And what do you do when you don't want to be a part of the process?
Speaker 2:
F this process.
Speaker 1:
Give me the finish line let's go there like, for example, the most recent situation that I'm in is that I tore strained whatever my calf muscle, meaning I have to sit and be still and not work out and do the things that I normally do, because I can't like literally for two weeks I couldn't even like barely walk like a normal person. So what do I do to enjoy that process when I don't want to be a part a normal person? So what do I do to enjoy that process when I don't want to be a part of that process?
Speaker 2:
I'll tell you how she did enjoy that process. She bought a king size bag of candy.
Speaker 1:
I did. I bought a Costco size bag of candy. It's no longer. It's been a month and they are gone, and I am the culprit of the majority of those. I helped.
Speaker 1:
I ate my emotions. I was depressed and upset and unsure, so let's talk about that. That's exactly why we're talking about how do you enjoy the process when you're going through something that isn't enjoyable. I tried to view it as an opportunity right, an opportunity to work on things that I otherwise neglect because I don't have time, because a lot of our time is spent doing something physical outside taking walks, going to jujitsu, going to training Muay Thai, like we spend a lot of time doing those things being active. And when I couldn't be active, I tried to use it as an opportunity to use that time to work on other things. But it was very is still very hard to do. It's all about the lens that you view it through.
Speaker 1:
So each time I would find myself going down this spiral of give me the candy bars. This is taking forever. I don't want to be here. This sucks. How long am I going to be here? All of the unknowns? I would try to bring myself back into the moment of like what's something productive I can do with this time that I otherwise wouldn't have the time to do Now. That's a delicate dance because, as I was telling you the other day, like then I felt like when I wasn't doing something productive that I would otherwise not have the time to do and I should be utilizing this time downtime, you know to be productive, then I would feel guilty and feel like, oh my God, now I'm wasting this time that I have and it will soon be over because I'm healing, and then I'll regret not being able to enjoy the process. So it's like a constant cycle. You're not alone if you feel that way. If you're going through something emotionally, you're going through a breakup or a job loss or something that you don't really want to be a party, to just keep at it the cyclical nature of that is a normal part of the process of going through all of those moments. There are some other things you can do when you aren't necessarily enjoying the part of the process that you're in. For example, I think it's best, if I like, tell a story to articulate what I mean here. We talk a lot about goal setting. We talk a lot about picking something that you're working toward Naturally as part of the process of doing something that you are uncomfortable doing or that you're stretching yourself to achieve. Naturally, during that, you encounter things that suck right.
Speaker 1:
When I was bodybuilding a decade ago, I didn't really enjoy the process of like eating a strict nutrition plan all the time it was attached to the long-term goal, and so back then I only justified eating that way by the result of my bodybuilding show. Right, I didn't really understand what enjoy the process means. Now, looking back, as I've learned more about myself and as I have kind of taken the time to embrace the suck and what I was talking about earlier like try to find productive or positive ways of viewing these periods of time where the process sucks, now I can look back and think like the whole process was enjoyable, because it was an opportunity for me to learn something new. It was an opportunity for me to learn about myself, for me to learn about nutrition. In the moment, though, I was like this sucks, I don't want to eat broccoli again. This sucks. I don't want to go to the gym again. This sucks, it's hard, this sucks. I don't want to go to therapy and talk about my feelings again. This sucks. I don't want to go to therapy and talk about my feelings again. This sucks. I don't want to argue about the same thing again.
Speaker 1:
Like, enjoy the process means nothing, but when you have some time and space to look back and analyze what that actually meant. It was an opportunity to learn. It's finding the balance right of in the moment, being able to recognize that and being able to appreciate it while it's happening, versus waiting until it's over or until the result has presented itself, or until you have crossed the finish line, so to speak. I don't know how, other than sharing that through like a story or an example, to articulate that, because it's essentially like what you would think. The definition of enjoy the process is, well, find ways to make it feel good while it's happening, but that means nothing when it sucks until you're done and you can look back. How do you view that differently when you approach something now?
Speaker 2:
Well, I think we hear this a lot and people say, like trust the process. If you're doing anything that's bigger than you, like learning a martial art or training for a marathon or, you know, going to college to get a degree or just anything that's a big thing that you're trying to do, there's a process to it trying to do. There's a process to it. Even making cookies, you know there's a process. You got to mix the ingredients, bake it, wait, you know.
Speaker 1:
So what you're saying is that, like, rather than focus on enjoying the process, focus or sometimes shift that to just trust the process, that everything doesn't have to be enjoyable.
Speaker 2:
Well, yeah, I mean, when we trained for a marathon, those miles sucked, especially those long runs. But I enjoyed the conversations that we had, I enjoyed being outside, I enjoyed seeing our community through running. You know, because you would drive, you get there quick, quick, that's a quicker process. When you run 18 miles in a day, you see things differently. So how many wild animals did we see? Like, look at those rabbits, look at this girl, you know things you wouldn't notice otherwise so you just enjoyed.
Speaker 2:
You look for ways to enjoy that process that you also trusted, because you knew like I've got to run these miles, so on race day I can show up and cross that finish line.
Speaker 1:
How do you implement that into your life then, when it's not attached to a long-term goal? So, as you're saying that and that's a question I'm not just asking you for an answer, I'm asking almost rhetorically, like enjoy the process, trust the process Great. Well, what about when it sucks? What about when there isn't a known goal? At the end of that, we knew we're running a marathon, I knew I've got a competition coming up. What about when you don't know what the finish line looks like?
Speaker 1:
And I think, like where I'm going with? That is maybe better suited for what I was saying about, like I don't want to go to therapy. We didn't know what was going to happen with. You know the conflict that we were having. There was no finish line, there was no like end date. It wasn't always enjoyable, but we had to just trust the process. So I think what you said as I talked to myself through that one if anyone was following along, if you're still with me is that it doesn't always have to be enjoyable. It has to be about trusting the process, even when you don't know what the finish line looks like, just trusting that the steps that you're taking right now, in this moment, are going to better your situation, that there are benefits, because otherwise trust the process and enjoy the process just becomes annoying.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, but I think that feeds in hope and knowing that, like, whatever the result is, I'm trying to achieve. Another example is like dieting it sucks. You know not to eat the cookies, but if you know, like I, just one day at a time, you know this is what I'm going to do and you have a goal and you trust you learn that this is the way this works.
Speaker 1:
Yeah. So even if there isn't a goal attached, though, actually the process, the enjoyment and the trust comes from the learning opportunity that presents itself.
Speaker 2:
Well, that's hard, though, if there's no end goal. It's hard to trust the process if you don't have some sort of visualization of what it looks like. If I go through all this suck, if I go through this, I don't even want to say the word process again.
Speaker 1:
Process, process, process.
Speaker 2:
But if I go through all these steps and I don't have a goal at the end, then I'm going to just stop going through these steps. That's kind of the idea of why you need to have some vision, some goal of what you want, or else you're going to get lost in the muck. I'll trust the process of me not even trying. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
And I get that, and we talk about having a vision board and setting goals and why we have them and even setting like micro goals or checkpoints along the way to the goal. Maybe it is less about enjoying the process and trusting the process and achieving the goal and the finish line and it's more about letting go of the attachment to the end result that allows you then to technically enjoy the process. So, for example, when I was bodybuilding, when I first started, I was so attached to the idea of winning. It wasn't really about the completion date, it was about winning. And when I didn't win or place as well as I wanted to the first show that I ever did, I was demolished, ready to quit, throw in the towel. All that work was for nothing. Screw the process. I didn't.
Speaker 2:
She was stomping her feet and acting like a little baby.
Speaker 1:
That's a stretch, probably, but Okay, sure, I was.
Speaker 2:
You were pouting.
Speaker 1:
Onward. That's not the point. The point is I was so attached to the end result that the process wasn't enjoyable. The process of seeing what transformation. I was so attached to the end result that the process wasn't enjoyable. The process of seeing what transformation I was capable of, the process of learning what I learned about nutrition, what I learned about my body, what I learned about my work ethic, what I learned about myself during that journey meant nothing because I was so attached to winning that it was all ruined in that moment, which is a complete contrast to the very last show that I did. It was my very first and only IFBB Pro show that I did.
Speaker 1:
I enjoyed the process. I placed 12th out of 16th. It didn't matter because I made my own suit and I made my own routine and I continued learning about nutrition and impacting you and our kids and people around us through being an example in that way, and we worked out together and we made it. Fortunately, I'm lucky, but we had like a team environment going on about that. The whole process was enjoyable. I had a finish line, I had a show to be ready for, but honestly I could have just not, and the fact that I did and didn't place well really didn't mean anything because at that point I had just enjoyed going through all of the steps to getting there. So having the goal is important. But kind of back to what I was saying, maybe it's our attachment to the end result that needs to go. And that is actually what enjoying or trusting the process means. Like a runner doesn't always run to win, they run because they enjoy running. Like they aren't always racing, you know, they aren't always preparing for something, but they run because they enjoy running.
Speaker 2:
I feel like in anything that we try to do in life, you have to have a vision of what, what you're going for, you know, like an end result of why am I working so hard now? What do I, what am I trying to accomplish? And that's trusting the process of that. Like, if I lift these weights, if I eat this food, if I go to jujitsu class today, you know what, what, what's the process going, what? What is this going to equal to me five years from now, if I continue this activity a year from now, whatever?
Speaker 1:
that's what it looks like.
Speaker 2:
And then enjoying the process is more of a decision of like, I'm going to enjoy running these miles, I'm going to enjoy going to jujitsu and getting smashed. You know, I'm going to enjoy eating this chicken and veggies.
Speaker 1:
I'm going to enjoy eating this giant bag of chocolate while I can't walk, because it makes me feel better while I can't walk, because it makes me feel better, enjoying.
Speaker 2:
it's just the choice that you're like whenever you're going through a really tough time, just being able to and we do this for each other when I'm blinded by anger, or blinded by, you know, sadness or fear, whatever, you're like. Hey, this is just part of the process. This is just zoom out.
Speaker 1:
You're like, hey, this is just part of the process.
Speaker 2:
This is just zoom out, zoom out and and just know that this is just the way where this has to be. For now, you know, and and actually that got us through a lot of like tough times, even in our marriage, like our, our therapist would be like you know this, you don't. You're not mad at the other person, you're not mad at him, cameo, you're mad at the situation that you're dealing with and this process sucks. It's a process of going through things.
Speaker 1:
We started this episode with what in the hell does enjoy the process mean? And how do you enjoy it when you don't want to be a party to it? And we walked around a lot in this episode but I feel like if you're hanging on and you still are following, you're still tracking. That was the whole point. And we just went through a whole process of analyzing what it means to enjoy the process. Like that was a process of recognizing, like, say, process one more time, right.
Speaker 1:
But it's frustrating for me personally, and maybe someone listening to this can relate when you do have a goal and you aren't really enjoying or trust it. You're like just kind of doing what you know you need to do. I guess that's trusting the process. It isn't necessarily always enjoyable, Okay fine, but then I get to that goal and if I'm so attached to the outcome and it wasn't what I wanted it to be then all of that sucked and all of it was for nothing and you're unable to see the lessons and you're unable to like take the good from it.
Speaker 1:
And maybe that's more of what I mean when I say enjoy the process. It doesn't always have to pan out the way that you want for you to be able to enjoy it and for you to be able to learn something from it and for you to be able to view it as an opportunity. The process always changes. Your goals always change. When you set a goal and you're on the way, even if you are enjoying it, trusting it, loving every freaking minute of it, when you get there you then set a new goal and the process starts all over again.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I feel like saying that is just basically saying enjoy your life, because your life is a big process.
Speaker 1:
You're right. The end this episode is now concluded. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:
But you're right, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1:
Your life is one big process.
Speaker 1:
This didn't go where I thought it would, but I think that where it went is actually very eye-opening for me, anyway, that it doesn't matter what the goal is, it doesn't matter what the circumstances are, it doesn't matter what the end result is, whether you achieve it, whether you don't.
Speaker 1:
It's about staying present in your life and being an active participant in what's happening right now, instead of being yanked around or so attached to the outcome that you cannot see two feet in front of you, and I guess that's how I do get through things that I don't want to be a party to and how I do get through things that I do want to be a party to that are enjoyable. Is that? Just bringing myself back into the moment and staying present with whatever is happening is where the richness of life and the process comes in. Thank you for joining this curious and somewhat all over the place episode, but I hope that it helps you understand that, like enjoying the process, trusting the process are two very different things or can mean something different, and that it's really up to you how you view every moment in your life good, bad, indifferent, and that's the whole point in being a human is learning how to have a full and rich human experience.
Speaker 2:
It can't all be rainbows and lollipops. Part of the process might be stormy, dark days, you know.
Speaker 1:
Not. Might be Definitely is. If this was your first episode, please go check out a different one, but if you are joining us again from another episode, you know how we are, you know who we are, you know how we operate and until next time, thank you, thank you.