Turtle Steps to Transformation with Kristi Amdahl #changemakers series

Have you ever felt that stirring within, a whisper of the wind calling you back to a place that feels more like 'you' than your current zip code? Journey with us as Kristi Amdahl, a Wayfinder coach and Sacred Circle facilitator, shares her insights on the true meaning of 'home' and the small, yet profound steps we can take towards our authentic selves. Through engaging stories and reflections, our conversation goes beyond physical spaces to touch on belonging, identity, and the inner compass that guides us to where we need to be.

This episode isn't just about finding our way; it's about redefining the path we walk on. We celebrate the underestimated power of 'turtle steps' and how they've shaped Kristi's life—and mine. Kristi's approach to life coaching isn't about grandiose leaps; it's about listening to our bodies and Nature, and appreciating the significance of every choice we make. Our dialogue offers you a mirror to see the potential in the incremental changes you can weave into your own life tapestry.

We close by addressing the tangible yet intangible nature of personal growth and the pursuit of purpose. Reflecting on Kristi's transformation, inspired by Jiddu Krishnamurti, from a college student to an activist, Kristi and I explore the essence of calling—not as a job title but as an expression of love. We also confront the unique challenges of marketing services like life coaching, stressing the importance of authenticity and inner alignment. This episode invites you to connect with your internal compass, as we provide insights, personal anecdotes, and openings for you to engage with your deeper self.

Resources:
Kristi

Transcript

Sarah: 0:02

What does home mean to you If you feel like it's some intangible place you wish you had the slightest clue how to find. You're going to love today's guest In season two, episode six of Give a Fuck, presented by Spark Consciousness, and the first in our hashtag changemaker series for the season, we're going to chat with the woman who helped get my life and business back on track when it all seemed to fall apart. Join us to learn more about Turtle Steps, wayfinder Coaching and the path to home. Welcome to Season 2, episode 6 of Give a Fuck, presented by Spark Consciousness. We're dropping knowledge bombs and sharing your burning questions about nature, animals, spirituality, mental health, women's empowerment and other profound topics. This podcast probably won't change your life, but hopefully it will give you some food for thought, some guidance on this twisted path we call human existence.

Sarah: 0:59

My role as an award-winning story keeper and catalyst for healing humanity and Mother Earth is to help you reawaken to your own connection with nature and, through this reconnection, reacquaint you with your intuition. What you do with it, how you incorporate that into your life, is up to you. I hope you'll make changes that benefit both you personally and mother earth as a whole. I hope you'll share what you learn here with others and that they'll make different, more compassionate and enlightened choices too. Either way, take what works for you, leave the rest. Always work to be the best version of yourself and try to leave the world a little better than it was when you arrived.

Sarah: 1:40

So, as I said, we have a very special guest today, Kristi Amdahl. So, as I said, we have a very special guest today, Kristi Amdahl. She literally my life was completely falling apart. Dark night of the soul level of everything sucked, and in a very short amount of time, Kristi got me from dark place to oh, life is actually pretty good. I'm super excited to share her wisdom with you, her knowledge, her expertise with you today. So, Kristi, come on, tell us all about yourself, what you do, and also, this is the chance you have to ask me a question, if you wish to do so.

Kristi: 2:20

Thanks, sarah, it's so good to be here. Well, I'm a Wayfinder coach and Sacred Circle facilitator, and my work here on planet Earth is to help elevate the collective consciousness of humanity by helping compassionate humans remember who they truly are. So I do this by gathering women in Sacred Circle, wayfinding with clients outdoors or via Zoom, and sharing wisdom, mostly through my blog and weekly newsletter. And for those who are curious to learn more about me, I've been known to call myself a Gen X tree hugging hippie, a mystic, a 1-3 reflector that's a human design reference and a recovering protester. So that's me, and so my question for you.

Kristi: 3:04

So people fascinate me in general, especially people who've rejected the boxes that culture desperately tries to squish us in, and so I'm fascinated by your story, for example, crisscrossing the country, the way you have studying shamanism and being a storyteller. What you offer the world is so unique and refreshing, and so I guess the question is is how did your path find you? Was there like a defining moment in your life when you knew you had a journey to embark on, or whatever?

Sarah: 3:38

So I love that question and I love you and I love your, your ways of describing yourself. They're very unique and I appreciate that. You know it's interesting. I often say to people, like when people ask that about various things, like how did you become vegan? Or how did you know you learn shot? What led you to learn shamanism? Da, da, da, da I. I.

Sarah: 4:02

I honest to God, I feel like it started in the freaking womb, like I, you know I was born. I joke around and say like I was born like a week early because, um, my mom ate calamari for dinner and I have not. Even before I went vegan seafood to me it was like Whoa and and so I left. I was like I can't be here. This food is intolerable, right. But the moment I came out, I mean I don't remember this, but my, my parents tell the story that the moment I came out, I was just huge, big eyes, didn't didn't make a lot of noise. I mean I cried to get my knees met, because that's all you do. You know how to do as an infant. But I was not like a crier, I didn't require attention, what I required was quiet to observe, and that's still kind of how I show up and I feel like from the moment I mean I was probably doing it even in the womb, but I feel like at least from the moment that I actually, like, left the womb and entered planet earth proper, was like, wow, yeah, there's so much more to this story than we're being told and I need to figure out what it is so I can tell everyone else, because this is ass fucking backwards and I have basically dedicated 40 plus years of my life to figuring it the fuck out.

Sarah: 5:20

And so part of that was Reiki training, part of that was the shamanic training, and I want to be very clear here. I am very aware of cultural appropriation. I am not a shaman. I am trained in some shamanic practices and so I all of that like it. It helps heal me, because we all carry crap with us. Um, it helps heal me.

Sarah: 5:42

But it also kept. It was like doors that I just kept going through to be like what's really happening? What's really happening? What's really happening? How does it all make sense? And then it started to all come together in my brain. But then it was like well, how do I get this from my brain and out my mouth, Right? How do you put this big, complicated thing into words.

Sarah: 6:01

And that took another long amount of time and, as you know from our work together, I got very convoluted along the way of trying to do that, because people well-meaning individuals with their own gifts and knowledge, come in and they say, oh, we'll market it like this, explain it like this, present it like this, and it's like and the more I listened to those people, the less true it was to the message I was trying to give. And what I love about you and your work is you're all about. Okay, if that's not true for you, let's find another way to say it, to do it, to work it through instead of well, but this is what, this is what you're really doing. No, it's not Right. So it's been such a beautiful thing for me for our paths to come together right now so that I can bring forth what I'm supposed to do the way I'm supposed to do it.

Kristi: 6:57

Yeah, that speaks so dearly to my heart. I mean you have your own unique innate gifts and brilliance about you and like all that marketing crap out there, I mean there's some really solid stuff and it works for some people but, like if it doesn't, if it's not aligned for you and most of it for me isn't aligned for me either, so I totally get that.

Kristi: 7:22

It's like if's not a line for you and you force yourself into that box because you're told you give away your own authority. Anybody you're you attract is going to be attracted to, not Sarah, but this like this artificial yeah.

Sarah: 7:38

Yeah, you created because someone else told you to do it. And I think you're probably like this too, Kristi I can't pull off that fake veneer thing Like I have no idea. So yeah, so, yeah, that was. I love that question because it really has been like a lifetime's worth of experience and probably before like I said but yeah.

Sarah: 7:58

So tell me for people who aren't familiar, because I know, for me, like I had never heard of Wayfinder coaching, it was literally something I typed into Google in a moment of desperation, going I just don't even know how to find my way and how do I? I can't say to Google how do I find my way, because that's not going to give me anything, and I thought this was like a term I made up and so I want to. I want people to have a very clear understanding of what Wayfinder coaching actually is and is not.

Kristi: 8:27

Sure. So my mentor is Martha Beck, and even though she did not coin the term Wayfinder or Wayfinding, I think she's probably the most well-known person who uses it. She's a bestselling author, she's one of Oprah Winfrey's life coaches, so she's, she's like this, she's pretty well known in her, in her field, and she uses the term wayfinder. She borrowed it. I think it might be. It's not a Polynesian term, obviously, but I think she borrowed it from, I think it's Polynesian. Some of them are able to, like, navigate out in the open sea to wherever it is they want to go when you can't see anything, without any navigational equipment whatsoever, and like, can read waves even, and things like that and and so they're called or considered wayfinders, and so she kind of borrowed from that and so, yeah, and so in the context of of coaching and wayfinder, coaching or wayfinding is I like to call it wayfinding?

Kristi: 9:28

Um, it's, we are helping, like my job is to help you navigate home to your own North star, if you will, you know, like, what is your path, and to help you access your inner wisdom and to live integrity with your true nature. So for me, I kind of call it a remembering of sorts, remembering who you truly are before culture did its thing on you, and that's what Wayfinding is about. And when you do that and when you follow your inner GPS, if you will, and you live in integrity with your soul, with who you are, your life is going to get so much better. It may not look, quote unquote, successful from a cultural standpoint Maybe it will, but you know there's no who cares. If you are freaking, happy and glorious and joyful and wildly alive and like connected to the freaking universe, you don't freaking care if you have a Lamborghini in your garage.

Sarah: 10:29

You know Exactly, Lamborghini is just code for my. I think my penis is too small, Really.

Kristi: 10:35

I love that. I love that, yes, yes, yes.

Sarah: 10:39

Can you tell she and I have had a lot of fun in our coaching sessions. So one of the things that I really loved about your approach was this concept of turtle steps. Like people here like take a baby step, but turtle steps are even smaller, and I have literally kind of like applied that to everything in my life at this point Like and sometimes I refer to it as like just move the needle like just one tick right, just, it doesn't have to be. Like I sent 700 emails out today to pitch myself a podcast. You know what I researched and I found one podcast to pitch to Great, that's awesome. Or I committed to starting the research tomorrow. Right, like one, one turtle step. So talk to me about like this whole turtle steps thing and how you work with it in your life, as well as like how you teach it to other people.

Kristi: 11:35

So turtle steps, those are something else I learned from my mentor and yes, you're right, they're smaller than baby steps they are supposed to. If it's a true turtle step is not going to offer you any resistance. It's laughably easy. It feels perhaps stupid. You know you're like this is not going to. My dream is to do this over here. It's like way far away and you're telling me to like take a shower. That's a, that might be a turtle step. I mean, you decide.

Sarah: 12:02

That was like it was for me. It was like okay, today I will shower and put on a shirt because I'm meeting with Kristi and I need to at least pretend to care.

Kristi: 12:09

Right, right, right, well and so. But you know, when you take one turtle step you get just a little bit closer and you know your confidence boosts in the process. You, you've, you've accomplished something, you've done something, you've moved forward. And what I have found and what I've noticed, like clients finding and other people finding, is that when you have success with one turtle step, you tend to take another, and then another, and another and another, and you layer them and then pretty soon your life is full of turtle steps. And then pretty soon you see, oh my gosh, my life looks different than it was. I've seen that with you.

Sarah: 12:43

It happens way faster than you would think. Honestly, At the time, Kristi's pricing model was you bought a package of six coaching sessions and I'm sitting there going six ain't going to be nearly freaking enough. What the fuck is this woman thinking? Six, but you know what? After three it was like holy fuck. My whole life is completely different, Like turtle steps. So talk to me about them in your own life. Like I know, you've mentioned in emails and stuff that you've, like you, somehow got to sobriety with turtle steps and I know that that is like something that seems really daunting. So what was like your first hurdle step towards that?

Kristi: 13:27

So it's interesting because I never aimed to get sober. I was a, you know, a bottle of wine, maybe a little bit more than that or a little less than that, but roughly a bottle of wine drinker at night, which is when you have a tolerance it's not enough to get you drunk, it's just yeah, you're at night not doing anything. It's like who cares?

Sarah: 13:46

I'm reading it's almost like a societal norm really like, right?

Kristi: 13:50

I mean, my partner didn't think I had a problem with drinking and he doesn't really drink, unless he's on vacation, you know and so it wasn't like the my world was crashing down around me, but something in me wasn't feeling great. The few times that I've had blowout fights with my partner which very few, like we've been together over five years, maybe like less than one hand where I've even gotten really really upset with him and it always involved alcohol, always like, and me, my alcohol consumption, and so it was one of those things where I'm like this isn't really serving me anymore. And the more tuned in I got to living integrity with who I am, the more I'm like why am I doing this? Why am I drinking? It's not serving me. I can't use the excuse anymore that it makes a meal more pleasurable. I mean it sometimes does, but it's like is that worth it? I get pleasure from lots of other things that I don't over consume. I get pleasure from eating raspberries, do I like?

Sarah: 14:45

raspberries.

Kristi: 14:46

Yeah, no, do I? Do I buy like $15 worth of raspberries in every night, which is about what a bottle of wine would cost, you know? Like no, of course not. Don't do that. Why am I doing it with wine? And and then it was Christmas Day on 2022. And I had had a couple of glasses of wine. I had a half bottle left, but I was looking at my wine glass and I was like I don't want to do this anymore, I'm done. And I dumped it down the drain. And that, for me, that, that moment, that turtle step was dumping that glass of wine down the drain, which was, you know, habitually, not something like the last hurdle step in a long string of them.

Sarah: 15:25

It wasn't like you went, you know, otherwise it would have been a big step.

Kristi: 15:30

Right, well, I think that the what led up to it I wasn't necessarily, I mean perhaps the turtle steps right, like they were, maybe just like more internal. Questioning yeah, I'm questioning why I'm doing this, and I remember talking to an energy worker once. I used to have a podcast and I was interviewing this gal for my podcast and she was an energy worker and she mentioned to me how she really doesn't drink, and she doesn't drink caffeine either and all this stuff because it interferes with some of that energy stuff.

Sarah: 15:57

That's why I don't do any of that either, and it's also why I'm vegan at least part of the reason why I'm vegan, yeah.

Kristi: 16:02

Well and see, I never had even thought about that, so she planted the seed. She planted the seed a long time ago, and so I think the total steps before that was pondering these questions a little bit more and even being willing to be honest with myself and to really look at my drinking, which, just because culture thinks it's fine and encourages me to drink the way I'm drinking, it doesn't mean it's fine for you personally.

Sarah: 16:25

Right, yeah, yeah, I love that, I love that and I love I mean. I just it's amazing to me, like the power of these turtle steps because, like you said, like you take one and then another one and you know, at the time we were kind of booked out like two weeks between sessions.

Kristi: 16:44

And again.

Sarah: 16:44

Initially I'm going oh my God, I have to wait two weeks to see her. How am I even going to survive it? But then it very quickly became oh my God, there's time for me to do other stuff before I see her again. Let me do this and this and this and this, and I'm sending her updates going. Hey, I did all of these other things.

Kristi: 17:01

I know, and that was cool, like watching your transformation as fast as it was happening, like that blew my mind Cause I remember you telling me too you were talking like six months out, nine months out when we're working together and I remember thinking I'd love to work with you in six months, nine months, whatever, and I hope you don't need me in six months or nine months, you know, and you weren't in that space to see that Six to nine months in a year, in five years, and but then it's, it's a shift in our relationship dynamic and it's more like hey, this is my friend instead of oh my God, my life is falling apart.

Kristi: 17:37

Yeah, no, you're. You know your emails like have a totally different tone now than they did in the beginning. There's no, there's no like desperation. Desperation, a sense of urgency, of like in that negative light, it's like you know, if you want to connect between sessions, it's more like, yeah, it's like, oh my gosh, this is what happened. It's cool, or, you know, can we test something? Yeah, that's awesome, I love that.

Sarah: 18:04

I love that you know, can we test something? Yeah, that's awesome, I love that. I love that, and I mean part of the reason I think it happened so fast for me is that a lot of the techniques that Kristi uses are things that are familiar to me from previous training. But I was so lost I literally was sitting on my couch going I don't even know which end is up that I forgot I even had these tools, because I was just so like my life is fucking a disaster and I am alive for my cats and while that's great, it is not acceptable, like it's better than suicide, but only marginally. And so I forgot that I had all of these magical tools already. So when Kristi would be like, have you tried this and this and this? And I'd be like, yes, yes, oh, I've liked that one. Okay, let's do that one again. Duh, why did you forget about how to do that? Oh, yeah, and I still now let's be fair, my life has not done a complete 180,.

Sarah: 19:02

Right, I am still trying to shift a lot of things. Right, still looking for the right place to live. Still need my business to shift into thriving income so I can quit the day job. Still looking for my life partner, still looking for friends, right. But the difference is when I have those moments when I'm like why isn't this working right now? Why does it all suck? Right now, I can very quickly go okay, hold on. How can you take a turtle step to shift your mindset right now? How can you shift the needle on one of those things? Just pick one, forget about the rest for right now. But how can you shift the needle on one thing? And it's amazing how quick it works, even when it involves other people. I haven't even told you that this yet, Kristi, because I wanted to save it for our interview today. So I am looking for my physical home. I have reconnected to soul home, but I'm looking for physical home still, and I've figured out geographically where it is. I have located the realtor and all of that stuff, and he happens to also be a friend, which is always nice.

Sarah: 20:09

And so I was having a really tough weekend with the noise in this place. Noise for I don't know if anyone else can relate to this I'm betting some of my sensitive listeners can but noise it like gets inside my body and takes up residence and the only way to get rid of it is like intense silence, and it can't be like fake silence with ear plugs or whatever, because I still feel the vibration of the loud. So it just lives in me until I have enough silence to get rid of it, and I'm not sure the world is quiet enough. But anyway, I was having a really tough weekend with all of the noise and the drama with the neighbors and I discovered that I am actually nestled between two neighbors who are feuding all the time and so, even though I don't hear them feuding, I can feel the energy of them feuding. So I sent him an email and I'm like Vinny, you know what are we doing? Everything we can do? Is there anything else we should be working on? Because here's why what can we do to just shift the needle at all? And his initial email back to me was no, we're doing everything we can, but it was very supportive. He was very reminding me these take time and it almost felt like it came from Kristi. It was a very supportive, helpful, bring yourself back to yourself, sarah, type of email, which I had kind of already done the work to do.

Sarah: 21:25

But I also needed him to be looped in because he's my realtor. But the minute I said, like what do we do to shift the needle? He calls me like the next day and he's like Sarah, something has shifted energetically. He's an energy person too, so he gets it right. And he's like I think you're saying we get a shift, a needle shifted something, because here's all the things.

Sarah: 21:45

And so he had, he had had a conversation with listing agents in this area so that I will have a whole team to coordinate this, because selling one house and buying another and coordinating all that can be really dramatic. You don't have the right team Been there, done that, burn the T-shirt, don't want to do it again. So you know he, he had all of these things that you know he's like and he's like and I've got this and I forget all the things. But it was like all of a sudden, like he, the action wasn't even mine, except to say we need to shift the needle. And so sometimes that's the step right. Sometimes that's the step is just to say it needs to shift.

Kristi: 22:25

Right, Kind of like just technology. Yeah, yeah, Sometimes, just saying it out loud, I you know, I think it is enough and like for me that I think those were turtle steps you know, they definitely were.

Sarah: 22:39

And, and you know, like I was feeling very hateful of my day job this morning as much as I appreciate the income to pay the bills I was feeling very hateful of it and I'm like, okay, well, how can I shift the needle on this? And the next thing I know I'm working away on something that I didn't want to work on, right.

Kristi: 23:01

Like sometimes it's just asking that question. Yeah, yeah, and I, yeah, totally, totally relate to that and in fact it's interesting that you're talking about. You know the move and then like shifting the like, just the mindset element of it. You know, I really like Chicago is not my home, just like where you're at it's not your home. Chicago has never been my home. My work is here for now, but it's not my home ever been my home. My work is here for now, but it's not my home.

Kristi: 23:30

And um, and I do, I recently discovered where my home is. Um, and yeah, joshua tree, okay, which is crazy, cause I am not like a hot weather desert person, but it's still like. I have gone on multiple journeys where I've met, you know, my future self and that sort of thing there. It's always been in Joshua Tree, even when I wasn't guided to Joshua Tree and anyway. So it's like my soul is there. So, anyway, I was just like how is this going to freaking happen? Because I'm in Chicago, my partner is here. Does this mean I'm going to have to break up with my partner at some point in time? Or you know what is that going to look like?

Sarah: 24:04

And this is all in your head. Does not do it.

Kristi: 24:07

Yeah, I'm all in my, stuck in my head. I'm like, well, maybe we could split our time just doing all these things. And and then he came to me. He said I posted on Facebook that I missed Joshua Tree. I didn't post my plan to Joshua Tree, you know, because I don't even have one yet, really, but I posted that. And my partner came to me out of the blue and said and he's never done this before, when I've had other ideas about where to live and he said he said I can make Joshua tree part of my retirement plan. And I was like, oh my God, like the heavens opened when you did that.

Kristi: 24:36

I know, because I've always felt so good and so aligned with my partner and it's like I've never felt the call to like leave the relationship, unlike other, every other relationship I've been in my life. And so I'm like you know it could happen someday, I know, but like it doesn't, I'm not feeling it now. And when he said that it was just like this, I was able to envision the whole thing like the rest of my life in a way, and and so now it's like, okay, well, we were here until his youngest son or his youngest kid graduates high school, which is going to be like seven years. So I'm like, okay, I'm looking at probably seven, a seven year, seven years out, right, I mean just we haven't talked about this, but I'm doing the math and I'm like I'm okay with that because I have a plan and I have a vision and it's like this, I don't know.

Kristi: 25:23

So those are like turtle steps for me and it gives me a lot of time to figure out the details and to get excited about it.

Sarah: 25:31

Yeah, no, I love that, and you and I have very similarly kind of moved around quite a bit, and I don't know if this experience is true for you, but I feel like for me, a lot of it was like picking up pieces of my soul, of myself, and I think that maybe that's true for a lot of older souls, because we've incarnated so many times. There's bits of us we have to go collect sometimes and I feel like that's like collecting bits to bring back and at the same time like because so the area that I feel called to his home, which is Western Massachusetts, Like I had felt called to move there before but didn't do it because it wasn't time yet. Instead, I went out to Colorado and I needed Colorado. But I was realizing the other day, like you know, pictures come up like any memories and stuff, and I'm like, yeah, you know, I don't, they're, they're beautiful and they were necessary and I love the mountains, but I don't need them anymore. Like I'm good now, You're done with that. What I need now is I need the big trees, which is part of why I moved back to New England in the first place, and I discovered since moving here I need flowing water, which makes sense because there's a lot of fixed energy in my chart, which is a very nice way of staying I'm stubborn as hell but it also means that sometimes getting going can be tough. Once I'm going, I will go like the Dickens, but getting going that initial inertia can be really hard because I have all this fixed energy. Mountains are also very fixed, so long term that wasn't going to work super well, but the fast river that I live across the street from, oh man, we shifted that really fast right. And so you know, I've learned these things and now I can take all of this and know, and part of it too.

Sarah: 27:17

When I was initially looking at Western Mass and maybe this is familiar for you too, Kristi, but I feel like when I was initially looking there, I thought when I finally find home, when I finally go home, I don't have to do the work anymore, the stuff that I'm here to do. I don't have to do it anymore. I can just go home. But what I've learned since in all of this journeying is no, that's not true. The work has to be done always. The difference is, when you get to that home, the support around your work is different the the way that it's not quite so hard, but you have to go through the hard and learn how to deal with the hard effectively, because otherwise you can't help anyone else anyway.

Sarah: 28:01

Right, and and it was really funny to me Kristi and and I have talked about this how I have this children's book called Ellie of the woods and a follow-on series of of like beginner chapter books that I actually posted as blog posts on my author website for now, but that was her journey and I knew as I was writing it that that was her journey and that that was my journey, rather, and like that, those were my lessons. But I was like, well, I'm writing them, so I must've learned them. No, Right, but now I've learned them, and so does that. Does that feel familiar at all for you, Kristi, Like how you had to?

Kristi: 28:39

Yeah so. So I've never really been into astrology or things like that, but I had a former coach who, during a session, she basically she was like what's your birthday, where were you born, what time of day? And I'm like, okay, I'm giving her this info, thinking what are you doing with this? She jumped back and she was like, oh my gosh, you're a unicorn. This explains everything. And it turns out she was referring to that I'm a reflector in human design and my type is or type profile I'm drawing a blank now but like I'm a one three reflector which basically, for anyone who's not familiar with it, it just basically is like it's like a blueprint of how you're wired and what you're here to do on this earth, and I found that that was far more accurate than any personality assessment I've ever taken in my life.

Sarah: 29:27

You, know the.

Kristi: 29:27

Enneagram didn't say anything to me. Yeah, it's just like none of them all of them maybe offered a little bit of something. But the human design thing blew my mind Because I'm like how do you know this about me and how could this possibly be true, based on a freaking where and when I was born? What if I was born somewhere else? It wouldn't be true for me. I don't buy that, but regardless.

Kristi: 29:49

So in my human design chart, the one three is represents that I have to, I have to like, I'm very curious, I have to learn, I'm a learner, I'm always learning, and it's not necessarily from books, although it can be. It can be just from life or, you know, studying a leaf, I don't know. But then the three part is that I'm quote unquote a murder, that's what their terminology is, and what that means is like I have to freaking learn the hard way, like you can tell me, everyone around me can tell me. This is what's going to happen if you do this, and it could be very true and I can even know that it's going to happen that way, and yet I still have to do it myself.

Kristi: 30:24

I still have to do these things that are going to create a lot of pain in my life, but therefore that's how I operate in the world. There's nothing defective about me. It's not like I mean. Yes, I'm stubborn, but I used to think it was like something wrong with me, that defective, and I've learned that is absolutely not the case. That is how I'm wired.

Kristi: 30:45

It's very normal for someone like me, in fact, to not do that is abnormal and that and I look back at my life and all of the craziness, all of the things that I did that freaked everyone else out, that nearly killed me, you know, literally and all these things, they were there. Life was working for me. It wasn't happening to me, it was working for me and it's gotten me to where I am now. And if I hadn't had those moments, if I hadn't had those experiences, I wouldn't be where I am. I don't know where I would be right now, but they have literally created my life and I freaking absolutely love my life, and that hasn't always been the case, In fact, it's only recently been the case, but I freaking love it and I'm so grateful for every experience that I had that freaking knocked me on my ass, you know that was, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Kristi: 31:37

I'm grateful when I was sued for custody of my daughter, you know. And I'm grateful when I survived or nearly died, whatever you want to call it. I'm grateful that you know I've been divorced. I mean, I'm grateful that I was married and then divorced. You know that whole package. It's just because, yeah, and I wouldn't have it any other way, even though those times are super hard when you're going through them.

Sarah: 32:00

So yeah, but it's true. I mean, and I think even those of us who aren't one, three like we still have to step up and learn from life, because that's kind of the point of why we're here, right, like, we're here to learn and we're here to serve one another, like that at the end of the day, like that's, that's it. How, how we do that, all this shit in between, that's completely different for everyone, but that's ultimately it, I think.

Kristi: 32:31

Yeah, no, totally. That's what we're here to do. And if we are I don't want to say lucky, I don't think it's nothing to do with luck, but if we have the opportunities presented to us or we somehow on our own, you know, through divine intervention of some kind have this awareness, we start to wake up and we can see that that is what's really happening, that that that life is happening for us, that everything is like an opportunity or a gift. There is a gift hidden in that, even in the like most horrific of situations, and maybe not the gift we want, but there is something.

Kristi: 33:08

The one we're expecting either Right, right and and yeah, it's just I. I think actually one of the greatest gifts in life is is when we wake up, start to wake up, our consciousness shifts, our awareness about how life works shifts and we start to view the world through a different pair of glasses.

Sarah: 33:28

Yeah, it definitely is, and and it's and I think that's like such a, such a beautiful process and it's part of, as you know, kind of part of how I show up is to kind of help people along that process in my own very unique and and human design to for, therefore, I don't really want to interact with people all the time way, and for those who don't have it right or is like the, you bounce between hermit and and want to go out and do stuff and and. But on Myers Briggs, I'm an INFJ and I do identify very strongly with the INFJ, like please don't. Just, this is my bubble and I don't want to end my bubble, but occasionally I'll come out of my bubble to be around people I like, and then I want to go back to my bubble and please don't come in my bubble. And so for me, my business had to be designed around.

Sarah: 34:19

Well, how do I give people this information to help them wake up, to help them start to see connections in the way that all life is connected, not have to talk to them all the time, right? And that's how I came up with this online course and books and you know the monthly sisterhood. So once in a while we can get together, but not all the time, and you know. But that's something everybody has to figure out when they start to wake up all the time, and you know, but that's something everybody has to figure out when they start to wake up. And figure it out is all right. Well, how do I share this in a way that's authentic for me and works for me? Right, what was that journey like for you? Because you did not like. Come out of the womb, a wayfinder coach, so, like, how did you wind up at that stage of like, this is what I do.

Kristi: 35:06

Yeah, so that's I mean. The story could take all day, so I'll try to find a few, a few moments. You know, I I came out of the room very connected to the womb, very connected to nature, like my favorite memories of my childhood.

Kristi: 35:21

Yeah, it's just like it's just, we're camping outside camping tent, camping around, you know, having a fire. We didn't have any money growing up when I was younger and so we had to do like cheap, free things. So that's what we did and those are my best memories. But you know, I was depressed for 10 years, my formative years. I nearly died by suicide on my 20th birthday and that shortly after there I had my first awakening, which was, you know, I don't know, like divine intervention. I had a very dismal prognosis from a psychiatrist that I was seeing as a result of nearly, you know, dying, and I was on a bunch of meds and he was like, if you, you know, I'm pleased with your progress. If you keep doing this forever he literally said forever then you know, you can live a somewhat normal life. And I'm like, are you freaking, kidding me? I'm miserable, like this is awful.

Sarah: 36:13

This is no way to live.

Kristi: 36:16

Right. And then, like when I left his office or with I don't remember how, if it was right after or if it was like a day later, but whatever, I was like in my car and I heard a voice out of nowhere freaking say you are responsible for your own happiness. And I'm like whoa, because I wasn't into self-help books. I probably should have been, but I wasn't. I wasn't into spirituality, like I wasn't into anything, I was just miserable and and that changed everything. And so, you know, after that happened, you know I started slowly, things shifted for me and I started improving my life, but doing it the way culture wanted me to do it at the time going back to school, doing, you know, getting think in my whole life probably happened when I discovered Jiddu.

Kristi: 37:00

Krishnamurti's teachings. He's a late Indian philosopher. I discovered him when I was at Purdue in the late 90s and I was taking philosophy classes, just electives, and I came across this guy and I'm like, oh my this, his teachings profoundly shifted my worldview, like, and as a result of his teachings and sort of me, he was the anti-guru too. Just to be clear. He wasn't like do what I say. He's like question everything. You know everybody there, ignore the gurus. Basically is what he was saying, including me. I love that and yeah, and it was so profound and that had, like during that time I had gotten into campus activism. I went from literally being like one semester earlier arguing I'm embarrassed now to look back at it, like I was arguing that it was fine to ship napalm to this like marginalized community and they were against it and I was like I had, I had no sense, I had no clue and I was just like, but it's safe, it's safe, what they're talking about doing is like safe. So what's the problem? I didn't get that, this idea of a marginalized community. I didn't get that there's social inequalities and stuff like that. And I went from that one semester to the next semester being like a full blown activist.

Kristi: 38:26

Going to D, I was like I am not okay with with, you know, finishing my degree so that I can sit in someone's cubicle and make someone else rich, who's probably harming the world in some way, or at least not benefiting it so that I can pay off my student loans that allow me to do this for like my life, and wait and put my, put the work I'm meant to do in this world on hold indefinitely so that I can live this kind of freaking life, no way.

Kristi: 39:06

So I dropped out of college, joined an indigenous land rights campaign, got rid of everything I owned except my car and my guitar and, you know tent, put my tent up next to a bunch of teepees and other tents and I did the activism thing for a few years. You know, I was homeless on and off, and that was a very profound time in my life. And so that's when, like I think that's when I remember at the time I knew that my purpose was to be an expression of love. I had this awareness come to me then and I spent the next 20, some years looking for my purpose, because I was looking for a job title, you know, like coach, you know, or whatever.

Sarah: 39:46

I think that that's what it is is a job title, but it's not. You have to put it into a job title, like you, and I struggled with what's my job title for me, because you need that to effectively communicate your purpose, but that's not actually your purpose to distinguish.

Kristi: 40:04

but that's not actually your purpose to distinguish. Yes, anyway, go ahead. Yeah, and so, and so I um, for the next 20 some years I was living life, but I was also getting involved. I ended that period, the era when I, you know, got knocked up and I have an amazing daughter. She's 21 now and graduating from college like in a in a week. So it's super exciting for me.

Kristi: 40:21

But, like that shifted my era. And then I just did the normal thing, you know, respectable thing went back to school, finished my degree, got a master's degree, you know, did all these things that you're supposed to do and you know. But I also got involved in a 12 step recovery program. Um, and that it was like my first unofficial life coach. My sponsor there was like they're basically life coaches and they're amazing and like she, I worked with her for seven years weekly and I ended up discovering like I felt so empowered, like I started to set boundaries with my daughter's father, I started to do like taking all these actions that basically shifted how I related to the world. Life was happening to me up until that point and life started happening for me and she was like my guide, if you will, and so that was a seed that was planted.

Kristi: 41:11

And then you know, fast forward several, several years, like I've always been sort of on that wayfinders journey, not realizing that that's what it was called, that I had a name, that that's what I was doing, and eventually think so, I searched for it, like what's my purpose? I searched in yoga teacher trainings. I did a bunch of those and they got me closer. But being a yoga teacher isn't my purpose. I have you know, I never felt like my purpose, but it was closer. I worked with a spiritual business coach trying to find my purpose, and she didn't get me there either, but she got me even closer. And then the life, the way finder, specifically the way finder life. Oh, it's not that being a coach is my purpose. My purpose is to be an expression of love, but through Wayfinder coaching and through Sacred Sister Circling I am expressing, you know, it's like an expression of my purpose and it's like I know in every cell of my body that this is what I'm meant to do.

Sarah: 42:11

And having worked with you, I can tell you that I can't speak for all of your clients, obviously, but I can tell you for me that, from the moment I looked at your website, I felt safe, and safe is a huge part of love right, I felt safe and I felt like, okay, like this is this, this she gets it.

Sarah: 42:30

I'm not going to be judged, I'm not going to be forced into doing a thing that doesn't align for me. She's going to wrap me up, she's going to give me a giant ass hug through the computer screen and she's going to help me be okay, right, and so I get. And I also love how you were saying, like you had to try all these different things, right, like some people feel like, well, this is what I went to school for and so I have to do it. Then you frigging, don't Like.

Sarah: 42:56

I went to school to be a special ed teacher. I could not be further from doing that. But all of those things, they lead you one step closer to that thing that your soul is actually searching to do this time around Right, and so it's okay to try stuff and go. Well, it wasn't quite it. Oh, that wasn't quite it. Oh, because eventually you get there. All of my trainings ultimately landed, landed me to where I am. I don't regret them for a minute. They inform what I do. They're just not what I do what I do, right?

Kristi: 43:38

Yeah, no, and that's I think that's such a good point. Is that that I can see how it applies in my own life? Because, um, you know, I'm still tweaking, I'm constantly changing things. Like, if you go to my website today, if you haven't been to my website for a few days and you go today, you'll notice that I've changed up my wayfinding coaching offers again, and I'm constantly doing that. I am always doing that and I'm always cause I'm still trying to figure out exactly like what does this expression, how is it playing out?

Kristi: 44:04

Like? And I mean in life, is meant to be an experiment, right, we're here to experiment and to play and have fun and to figure out what works, to learn from what doesn't work. And, um, I do want to say I'm so glad that it just it melts my heart, or not melts isn't the word, it just touches my heart. That's the word that you felt safe and held, that you came to my site, because that's like I. All the marketing people are like that I've talked to, have been like, um, there's so many of them, at least, have been like you, gotta you gotta show what's in it for them.

Sarah: 44:44

You gotta explain my website too, yeah.

Kristi: 44:45

Yeah, and there's all these like, and I'm like I it's. It's like, or you have to promise results and I'm like I can't promise results. I mean that's up to the person to. I mean, you know, I can promise to show up, I can promise to show up and I, to the best of my ability, I can promise to like, ask questions that are going to spark contemplation and whatever, but ultimately, like I'm not going to do these things that you tell me to do. And the fact that, like when you landed on my site, even though I violated so many of those marketing rules, you landed on my site and then, like, you're literally like two days later, you've signed up to be a client, which is like, yeah, that's not the normal trajectory for people.

Sarah: 45:28

It's not, but I just I knew is as far from my soul as I was. When I reached out to you, I knew I mean your pictures were all trees and nature and literally, like on your homepage is something about mama earth and I'm like, okay, that's my person Like. But I love what you said to me, because we had this conversation about my website too, because it got all convoluted trying to listen to those other marketing peoples who are like you have to show what's in it for them, and what you said to me was what's in it for them can literally be I forget how you put it, but it can be basically like a confirmation of something Not like this big, like you've discovered your life purpose, which is what it became my website became about, which is not actually it. That may be what results. I don't know Because, like with you, the results vary by person. I feel like you know those like commercials for, like you know, Weight Watchers or whatever, and they have like down in the fine print, results, not typical or whatever, Like right, Right.

Kristi: 46:30

Right.

Sarah: 46:30

I guess I forget exactly how you put it, but like what's in it for them can literally be a feeling, right, like you kept bringing it back to. How does it feel? How do they feel? How do they feel and I feel like that's what you've done with your own website too is because I'm literally going, yes, I feel, oh, I feel like, oh, yeah, is she in my head right now? Because that's how I feel, oh, and that, yeah, that's how I want to feel, that's how I used to feel. I want to go back to that, yeah, and so, yeah, I feel like, to me at least and for for people who do what you and I do, which is a bit less tangible than say, like you know, like, like not that these are bad businesses at all, they're perfectly good, but like some business, kids can literally say, okay, I will teach you how to create great YouTube videos in five easy steps. That's awesome.

Sarah: 47:29

I'm glad that that exists, because I, for one, can't make videos worth shit, but ours is a little less than something like that, and so I feel like that's like almost a slice of like marketing coaching that's missing is like how to bring that back, and so, like I said at the beginning, you fixed my own life.

Kristi: 47:53

I just I just provided some tools, some questions and guidance.

Sarah: 47:59

I witnessed you hold along the way, yeah yeah, so what else people know?

Kristi: 48:05

okay, first finish what you're gonna say first okay so the the word that you're looking for is aspirational identity thank you, yes, yes, yes.

Sarah: 48:15

Provide, yes, yes, provide an aspirational fulfill, some sort of aspirational identity, and I had never thought about it like that before, but I feel like that's exactly it. That's exactly it, and I wish that more people thought about that when trying to coach other people, like you and I, with intangible things of how to promote themselves, because I think it would be more successful for everyone and I want everyone to be successful. So, um, yeah, anyways, what else should we know about you? About Wayfinder coaching, about turtle steps, about getting home to themselves, whatever.

Kristi: 48:56

I think one of the biggest things that I do this all the time, we've done it in our sessions together and I'm a very big proponent of it. This is how I was trained. It's what is your body telling you Like, listen, tuning into your body, and some people are so disconnected from their bodies that they have they look at you like you're speaking in a different language when you say that. But there are ways that we can get there. Even if you're so like, even if you can't feel any sensations or you don't think you can like, we can get there. We can do work to get to that point where you do, and that I think I would love to put this out there for everyone who's listening to.

Kristi: 49:36

This is like a really simple way to test whether something is like aligned in integrity with who you are. Is, you know, holding the question or the decision or the issue, whatever inside, really sitting with it, going down and trying to like bring as many of your senses you can into that experience and just pull a vision in your imagine. Imagine it. Imagine it happening right now, in the present moment, and then see what happens with your body. Does it feel like lighter? Do you feel more expansive or open or excited or whatever, or does it feel a little bit more contracting? Do you have those anxiety flutters that tell you watch out, be careful, or this isn't right for me. Does it feel heavy? And I mean it's not perfect. You can feel like the anxiety flutters when it's a line decision, for sure, and there's ways to go to deal with that.

Sarah: 50:30

But like just overall, and there's ways to go to deal with that, but like just overall, start to pay attention. There's like excitement, anxiety versus anxiety.

Kristi: 50:35

Yeah, Right, exactly. There's different things there going on, but that's one of those things that like checking in with your body, your body compass, to see does this feel like open and expansive, does it feel contracting or whatever heavy? And then to go by that contraction, contracting or whatever heavy, and and then to go by that. And a lot of times when we are, the decisions or the things that we can do, the choices we make that are in integrity with who we truly are, sometimes they're very hard, sometimes they don't make any sense whatsoever and we're like this is dumb. Why am I being told to Liz Gilbert, and eat, pray, love.

Kristi: 51:13

If you've seen that or read that book, you know she's in the bathroom floor. She's like in her marriage, she's absolutely miserable, and she's like crying and praying, even though she never prays because she doesn't, she's not into God at that point. And she, she prays and she's like tell me, god, help me, tell me what to do. And the voice that came to her was go back to bed, liz, which is like oh, oh, like I need to know if I should get divorced or not, or what to you know. And this is what you're telling me to do. But sometimes go back to bed. Right, exactly that is what you need to do right now, in this moment, and you know so anyway listening to your body, checking in with your body for every decision and and being willing to do things that follow that wisdom that you're gaining, even if it makes no sense to you.

Sarah: 52:00

Also not do things that seem like this should make sense, but your body is telling you don't right. For me that's been the harder thing, actually, like cause, my brain is going well, of course you should do that, of course you should do that. And I check in with body and body's like no, I'm like yeah, but no, listen to that, sarah. And this is like a simple example. But the episode right before yours I read.

Sarah: 52:27

I read a book, one of my books, about July 4th and fireworks and how they're not so great, and that was kind of the whole episode and it's very short because it's you know, it's a kid's book and after it was all done and scheduled and edited and ready to go and everything else, I'm literally laying in bed going. I should put more information in there about other reasons that fireworks aren't great besides the noise. I should, I should like, add on to that episode. After I finished the book and my brain's all, and I got out of bed and I was like, okay, tune into body, ask body and. And body was like no, you don't need to, and I'm like, yeah, but body says no.

Sarah: 53:14

Sarah body says no, it's okay, the episode is short. You've put resources for other reasons that fireworks aren't so great in the thing. Take a breath and go back to bed, right. So for me that's. The harder one to overcome is when brain is going do the thing Right, and even with this house search there's been right like, oh, this is perfect. And body's like, no, it is not right, right yes, you're like yes, it is right.

Sarah: 53:42

So for me that's the harder one is when brain says yes and body's like what the fuck are you thinking like?

Kristi: 53:53

yeah, well, your brain has, like the rational mind, what's the phrase or the quote? It's like it's a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

Sarah: 54:03

Yes, exactly, exactly.

Kristi: 54:06

Use your mind. I mean the body knows yeah.

Kristi: 54:11

Your body knows and let your mind figure out how to do things based on what the body's telling you. Great, that's a great use for your mind, your rational mind, you know there's a place for it. But when it comes to like living your best freaking life possible, the life that you, that puts your, that sets your spirit on fire, the one that or maybe not on fire, maybe just that is calm and peaceful, whatever that looks like to you, whatever when, it feels good for your soul, and whatever that means.

Kristi: 54:37

Yeah, whatever that looks like for you, right, that's going to come when you listen to your inner guide. I like to call her La Que Sabe, she who Knows that comes from Dr Este's book Women who Run With the Wolves an amazing book, by the way, so I borrowed that term from her. But when I listen to La Que Sabe, my life goes so much better and it's so much more glorious. And when I listen to my rational mind, I write pros and cons lists on how to do things or what I should do, that never freaking works. I mean, you can find one that gets more pluses. I'm a trained economist. That's how we do things in a way, and it's like no, that's like the worst way to freaking live your life.

Sarah: 55:20

Right, like yeah, no, totally, totally, totally get it. Cause that's that's my hardest. One is when brain's going yeah, but look and look and look at, and body's going no, not it Like okay, brain, go do something else. Fine, here I'll give you this other thing to work on instead, so you don't get wrapped up on this. So if people want more of Kristi in their lives.

Kristi: 55:52

How do we find you? So I love helping compassionate humans find their way home. So, if working with me speaks to you, I offer one-on-one wayfinder life coaching, aka wayfinding. I like to call it wayfinding. So, um, you can go to my website, kristiamdahl. com. My navigation is great, you will. I don't have to send you down to sub menus right now. But, um, just come to my website.

Kristi: 56:17

You'll, if you're interested in the wayfinding, which is about remembering who you are, living integrity with your true nature, you know we do things like accessing your guide, going on journeys to meet your future, self identifying, turtle steps, all that wonderfully amazing, simple stuff that will truly transform your life. So that's what we do when we way find, and you'll just schedule a time for an exploratory call. Currently there are 45 minutes roughly, and that's part. You know me explaining what wayfinding is, part little bit of. You know a little teaser, coaching teaser, if you will, and it's not a sales call. There's zero pressure on these calls. I'm not even going to invite you into a coaching container with me during these calls because I can't stand that nervous system dysregulation that happens when you know people are like pressuring you or want to overcome your objections. I don't do that, so it's a, it's like a non-pressure conversation and then we go from there.

Sarah: 57:19

And that will be in the show notes for everybody Awesome. Well, thank you again for being here. I don't know about everyone else but cause I can't read minds or speak for other people, but I believe that what you do is very valuable and I really hope that you just bring all the love to all the people, because we need you. Did you feel a glimmer, a spark, a light in the dark during this episode? You'll love my online course, the Soulful Seeker. Check it out at sparkconsciousnessnet slash TSS. You can also support the show as a Patreon member or episode sponsor. You can learn more about all of these opportunities and find additional resources about Kristi and all of the other wonderful things we talked about today in the show notes. And to help you remember this, just hang on to the word wayfinding to help jog your memory and remind you to hop back on over to season two, episode six of give a fuck, presented by spark consciousness, to find all of that awesome info. And I will see you next time.

Kristi: 58:27

Oh, stop recording yeah.