On this episode, I speak with Pastor Joseph Bailey, a man of God who has overcome obstacles and disadvantages to be the man he is today. Pastor Joe grew up in Compton, CA, where he spiraled out of control. But by the grace of God, he turned his life around. Pastor Joe discusses life in Compton, prison, parenting, relationships, etc. Pastor Joseph is an ordained pastor residing in Maryland. He is a man that knows the power of redemption, forgiveness, and transformation.
Clothed by J. ChristineOn this episode, I speak with Pastor Joseph Bailey, a man of God who has overcome obstacles and disadvantages to be the man he is today. Pastor Joe grew up in Compton, CA, where he spiraled out of control. But by the grace of God, he turned his life around. Pastor Joe discusses life in Compton, prison, parenting, relationships, etc. Pastor Joseph is an ordained pastor residing in Maryland. He is a man that knows the power of redemption, forgiveness, and transformation.
Clothed by J. ChristineYou. Welcome to the Off Balance podcast, where faith, family and business collide with your host, Dr. Brooks Deming, christian life coach, intercessor and entrepreneur. 11s Hello, everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. Welcome to Off Balance, a podcast for adults trying to balance life. Thank you for tuning in each week to learn strategies to help you be the better version of yourself. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by J Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable conscious woman. 2s Welcome to the show, pastor Joseph Bailey. 3s Hello. Hello. How are you doing today? I am doing well. Thank you so much for joining us. Yes, thanks for having me on. Thank you for having me on. It's an honor. Kind of a privilege. So can you let the listening audience know who is Joseph Bailey? 1s So joseph Bailey, a guy from from Los Angeles, California. I was born to Compton, California. And if I would say who I am, I would honestly say that I would have to use the term like overcomer. And when I use that term, I use it in a sense of not just as, you know, like the song say, you know, we're we're more than conquerors and stuff like that. But I use in the sense of in my life, I've been through a lot of different things. 2s I'm someone who I come from a one parent home, in other words. So I've never met my biological mother. To this day, I was raised by my father and my father's side of the family. 1s When I say overcomer, I'm just talking about like I'm a person that has been through a lot of different things in life. I didn't come from a poor family. My family had well, we were good. My father came like he was 3s a street guy, a gang banger, a hustler, always had his own businesses and things of that nature. So when I use that term that say that I'm an overcomer, it's because I've been through a lot of things in my young life, but God has blessed me to come out of them with the experience and things that I've learned from them and not to still be stuck in them. Sometimes people can go through things. Sometimes people can be reared or raised up a certain way, and they get stuck in that thing. And you have people that 50, 60, 70, and 30 years old and still in that same pattern of the things that they experience from child hood or the way they grew up. So when I use that term overcoming and I like to attach that to me that I'm overcomer because it keeps me in the mindset that no matter what challenges I may face or what I may come up against in this lifetime, I know that with God the Father, I can overcome anything that the enemy throws at me. Why? Because it's already been proven in my life and. 1s Wow, that is really good. And so growing up in California, and you mentioned that you didn't have your mom. And I know a lot of the times we focus on when a dad is not there, but what was that like growing up without a mom? 5s So I would get this question asked to me a lot and they would ask me like, like, do you miss your mom? Or how do you feel about not knowing your mom or having your mom? And my answer would simply be, you can't miss what you've never had. So I didn't have a mother, but my grandparents had twelve kids. My father is one of twelve. So I have plenty of love because my aunties and they love me. So if I take you to La right now, it's nothing but love. And because of that, it was kind of like I didn't miss it. I didn't lack it because there wasn't a lack of love. And my grandfather, he's a World War veteran and all that good stuff, but he was like, hey, you made him, you're going to take care of him. So my father was 15 when I was born, so I'm the product of a 15 year old. And in those times, it was like my father did a lot of little things. He actually dropped out of high school to take care of me. And he's always been like an entrepreneur, a hustler, and then he got involved in streets and gangs and things of that nature, so he ended up going to prison for a while. But like I say, even with the absence of my biological mother, there was never 1s a missing like, I missed a loan for it, but it did affect me in my life. And the reason why I say that is because though I had a lot of love for my aunties and cousins, things like that, growing up, they had their children and things of that nature. So it's like I didn't think about it until I began to look back over my life and just reflect on certain things. Like I was the individual, never really like to be alone, in other words, outside of a woman's presence or attention. And if one woman wanted to give me enough attention, I move on to the next one and. 1s It took me a while to see that pattern that was there was because of the fact that 1s I didn't have a mother growing up. And for a long time I said it never affected me until I began to look at the patterns in my life. And then I began to realize, like, oh, you know what? It did have an effect on me. 2s That is so good, because my father wasn't in my life. And I will all always say it didn't bother me. But then I think it was a couple of years ago I was thinking about it and I was like, Actually, it did, because I never dated guys my age. I will always date older. And then what I noticed was I would always look for maturity in a man. And so it's very interesting that you say that you thought about it later, because that's what I really was able to look at my life and was like, wow, it did affect me. So I'm glad that you shared that with listeners because that's very important. And so now you are a pastor. Have you always walked with God? 2s Right? So I was raised up in the church. My grandmother took me to church. She kept me in church. We had a family church right there in Compton, California, 116th in Willowbrook. God's Temple of Deliverance was the name of the church. And my whole family grew, my aunties and uncles, and they song and acquire and all that good stuff. So I grew up in the church, grew up knowing about God. So I had that, you know, embedded in me. But I tell people all the time, it's one thing to go to church and it's one thing to be a part of a fellowship, but it's a total other thing to have a relationship with God. I didn't develop that relationship until later on in life. And so even growing up in church, 2s there was a lot of negativity, a lot of anger, a lot of frustration in me. You know, up until around the time I was 30, I hated the police with a passion. And I know that hate is a very strong word, and we don't like to use that word in our vocabulary, but I had a real serious, passionate dislike for the police. And when I begin to think about it, it's kind of like the scripture in the Bible that tells us that instead of us examining I'm paraphrasing. Instead of us examining or trying to remove the little speck out of our neighbor's eye, we need to look at the being that's in our own eye. And so in my examination of myself, because the father says that we examine ourselves, we don't have need that anyone else should judge us if we judge ourselves. So in judging myself and examining myself and trying to figure out where did this hate come from? I remember when I was seven years old, my grandmother died. And at that time, my father was in prison. And so my grandmother was very intricate part of my life at that time, and to this day she still is. But when she passed, my grandfather passed first, and then my grandmother passed. My father was in prison. And at the funeral, I never forget, I was sitting on the front row. The doors of the church opened up, and my father walked in. They had led him out of prison to come to the funeral, and though he had a suit on, he still had chains on his hands that went to his waist, that went all the way down to his ankles. And he had two US marshals, one on either side of him, and they walked him in the church, and they sat on the front row, him being in the middle of them too. And my auntie said, Go over and give your father a hug. And so it gave me a hug and cried for a minute. And I never forget as a little boy and this is where 3s my immense dislike for law enforcement came into play at I never forget. At the gravesite, I walked up to them as a little boy. I looked at these grown men, I said, hey, why do you all have my dad at my grandmother's funeral with chains on? 1s He's not animal. He said he can't even mourn his mother's death. And I don't know where these words came from because I was seven years old, but these are exact words I said to them. And I think that kind of like, spun or started, like, my real passion for disliking police. And because of that, 1s I lived a lifestyle that was kind of, like, contrary. So that point on, I didn't like law. I didn't like anything that 1s resembled law. And from there, even being raised in church, even knowing about God and all this stuff right here. And I say that to say that sometimes 2s we can't allow situations to give root and live in our hearts because that stuff will alter us. It'll cause us to function differently than what we normally would. So I allowed that thing to grow in my heart like a big old oak tree and just let it sit there for years and years. I remember getting in trouble as a teenager. End up doing the same thing my father did. Going to jail, going to prison, all these different things. And it's crazy because even though I was not really living for God, when you look back over your life, you can always see where God's hand was always upon you. Yes. And it was so amazing because I say this the scariest thing that's ever, ever happened to me in my life. My father raised me not to have fear, especially of another man like shoe. My dad was a tight dad. He found out you ran from a fight, he going to beat your butt and then take you back over there to fight. And so when I was in the first time I got arrested, I was 18 years old, actually, 17, getting ready to turn 18. I had football scholarships. I did football, basketball, track and wrestle all throughout school and had all these things going for me, but yet still, I still chose to go a certain route. And that's what I try to because I have honest now. And I try to tell them that, listen, the choices and decisions that you make in your life, they're going to play a pivotal role in your outcome of life. 3s Never forget this. Like 1s when. 1s Like I said, I played all these sports in school, but when I went to prison, the first night there, when the door closed and it was quiet, all the lights were out, I just heard bamming on the walls and door. It was screaming, man down. Man down. So a guy got stabbed and they were calling for the guards, but the beating on the walls was like thunder. And I jumped up off the bed and I said, oh, my God. Lord, I know I have to die one day. Just don't let it be in here. I think three people lose their life, like, right in front of me during a riot one day. And I said, Lord, I know we all have to leave this earth one day, but just don't let it happen here. So I've always had 1s I was broke up in the church, but it's through my personal experience that I really learned who God was. It's a long answer to your question. I'm sorry. I know. No, that's actually good. And so you said that you didn't like law. Did that also represent authority or was just the uniform? 3s I would say just the uniform. Because I grew up, I was taught, like, respect and honor and things of that nature. And then even through 2s my lifestyle in gangs and stuff in Los Angeles, there's hierarchy, there's leadership and things like that. I was always in a structured environment, so to speak. So it wasn't necessarily authority, but it definitely was a uniform, because at that time in my life, only thing I've ever seen was that uniform always represented something negative. It was taking away a loved one. It was bringing my father to the funeral in shackles. It was coming through the neighborhood, causing confusion where there was peace. So every time that at my young age, all my experiences were negative, but I believe that a lot of them were negative because I already had this negative image and negative perception of them in my mind. 1s And that's the power of our thoughts. The Bible says, a man think of in his heart, so is he. We have the ability to think positive, to think well of others in someone, or we have the ability to think negative and think damning thoughts towards someone. And whatever we choose to think is what's going to play out and. So if you already had this thought of them in your heart, what was your time in prison like? Being that those were the same ones that were basically controlling your 24/7 1s disruptive. 2s So my first encounter, like you said, I didn't like the uniform, didn't like the police, didn't like law enforcement. But like I said, though, so prison was a little bit different from being on the streets because a lot of people have a misconception that guards and cos run the prison. Well, that's not the facts. The facts is that the inmates run the prison. And prison is a place to where respect is a must and any type of disrespect, it has to be dealt with because you never want to be looked at as soft or scary or someone who doesn't stand on their business to him they own. So as a 17 year old, 18 year old, to go to prison at such a young age, it did something to me because it made me very serious. I can remember my wife what I was asking is like, babe, why you don't smile? And I'm like I do. And then you know what messed me up one day, it was so crazy. It's like I was laughing about something. And my daughter said, like, Damn, you look weird. I said she said, It looks weird when you smile. And I said, I got to spend it real quick. I like, It looks weird when I smile. What do you mean? And then after that, my wife and I talked and she said, Babe, they're not used to seeing you smile because you always have this serious look on your face. And so I thank God because it's like a deeper relationship with the father produced a deeper level of joy. And I didn't realize to where we carry stuff for so long without even realizing it, you know what I'm saying? Because 1s I thank God because now I'm in a place in life where I'm not used to carrying the baggage of my past. That's what I mean by overcomer. Like, overcoming is like, I don't carry that baggage anymore. And when we say baggage, we think of baggage as the negative stuff. But sometimes baggage is the stuff that we have adapted to ourselves, even our self preservation mechanisms, you know what I'm saying? Our self defenses sometimes could be baggage because a person could have good intent, but you don't even get them a time of day because in your mind, you're guarded. 2s Wow. And that causes us to act different. 2s That is so good. So did you having to be so serious and you having to be on guard, did that affect you, being a parent? 2s Yes, 1s it did. 1s It's crazy now because now in my older age, in maturity, so I smile and laugh more than I ever did in my entire life, but it affected me so much. Like with my kids, they'll tell you wherever they went, I had to know whoever they was with. I had to know who they was with. 1s People say, well, that's normal, okay. But with me, it was like, no, because it's like growing up the way I grew up, in the neighborhood I grew up, is kind of like one of those things that was kind of like embedded in me to always be a protector. And that's what I am. That's part of who I am. I'm a protector because I'm used to fighting. I'm used to certain things. People call it violence, but I just call it being a protector. And so that's what I was used to being. So when I had children, that went to another level, to where it's like, I'm not going to let anything happen to my children, so to speak, the things that I've experienced and the things that I went through in life kind of made me get to a point where it's like, hey, you all not going to have to experience this. You're not going to have to deal with this. Why? Because your father's already experienced and went through it for you. Not saying I went through it for you, but my experience, I'm praying that it teaches you what not to do. 2s So I was very and they didn't understand it. But then looking back now, 1s my youngest is 18, and so from 21 all the way down to 18, I have five total. And now I talked to all of them, and when we had these conversations, they said, dad, you never let us do this. You can let us do that. And I was just telling but now that they know more of my story and more of my past, I really know where their father come from. They understand it a little bit, and I think that's, like, a major thing, and it's, like, important. Sometimes we don't want to have these talks with our children and reveal certain things to our kids about our path, but I feel like in doing so, 1s it is an eye opener for them because our children, sometimes they wonder, why does my mom act like this? Why does my daddy act like that? But they don't know some of the traumas that we've experienced from our past that kind of shaped our personalities throughout the year. And then when they see this new person, when God comes in and illuminate us and give us this revelation and we grab a hold to it, and God really and really allow God to do that, change from the inside out, and they see the new person, they're like, well, what's going on here? My parents are schizophrenic because I remember them being like this. Now I like this. And so through those conversations, we're able to give them another level of understanding, and they can say, wow, that I never knew that about you. I shared something with my son not too long ago. He was like, for real? And I was like, yeah, I did that. I experienced that. And it wasn't too. 2s Make it seem like your father was this big old person, like here out in the streets, but it was to where saying that you don't never go that route. And then when you see people like that because you're looking at the glitz and the glitter and you're thinking that that's fun, that's cool. But there's another side to that that you don't see. 1s So it's like we have to share some of our experiences so our children don't have to experience it. That's true. Transparency is real good. So what was your turning point for you to decide that you didn't want to do the gang life anymore and that you wanted to transform your life? 5s Okay, so there's a scripture that says many are called before you are chosen. And I take that scripture and I apply it to myself. And when I say menia are called me, a lot of people hear the word. A lot of people hear God loves you and things of that nature. But I believe that when you're chosen, it ain't only that you know God loves you, but you know it without a shout of doubt because you've experienced his love. And this is the thing that. 2s That got me one day after all these years and being in our church and being around church and all this stuff right here, and even knowing certain scriptures, you know one thing about it, like, so you know how we would do things even in the streets, and we say, Lord, forgive me. And I used to be so guilty that I'd be, like, asking God to forgive me for doing dirt before I even did the dirt. Like, I'm on my way to do the dirt. Like, God forgive me for what I'm being ready to do it. And I was in church one day, and this was in Jacksonville, Florida, and I heard the pastor say this right here. It was like 3s everybody always asking God to forgive them. And he says that the scripture says that if we want to be forgiven from God, then we have to be willing to forgive. In other words, God, your forgiveness and your level of forgiveness that you get from the Father is based strictly upon your level and your ability to forgive others. Because the Bible said that if we don't forgive men the things that they do, he says, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you or the things that you've done against his kingdom. And when I heard that, I sat there, right, and I thought about every single time in my life I asked God to forgive me. And I thought about all those times that I was already forgiven. But then I thought about all the unforgiveness and hatred I had in my heart towards certain people that I had never let it go. And just to know that because I had not forgiven them, god had never forgave me. 2s That broke me. It literally caused tears to come out my eye. And when I thought about how much God loved me 1s because it's such a thing to where we can do something against one another. Your brother can offend you, your best friend could talk about you and they hurt your feelings or whatever the case may be and you have a hard time forgiving them or puts a rift or that relationship is not the same anymore. But when we do things against God and we ask God to forgive us, the scripture said he's faithful and just to forgive. So when I realized that God had forgiven me of all the things I've done, even when I've done things in the streets and it was people that I really had love for and they had not forgiven me, and then I had not forgiven certain people, it broke me down. Because it was like, Lord, you forgave me of this, you forgave me of that. 2s It caused me to get serious about God. 2s It was kind of always like an on again, off again thing, because some of us have strongholds. I had a stronghold. My stronghold was like money. It was like I was a person that liked money. Always had to have money, always had to have nice things like stature. And God stripped me. When I say stripped me, broke me down to nothing. Like, I had a three bedroom house with a lake in the backyard. And guess who lived there? Me. It was just me. And God took all that from me. He took me to nothing. I was in jail one time and talking to one of my aunties and she said, well, baby, sometimes God have to strip you just to get your attention. 1s She said, because he's been talking to you, but you haven't been listening to him, so he's removed all your distractions. Now he can just deal with you on the one on one level. And in that moment, it seemed hard. It seemed like, but I worked hard for this. I didn't do this, and I lost everything. And you're really not trying to hear. But then when you think about it, like, Lord, I thank you, even for the times that I was in jail. I say, Lord, I thank you, because the way I was living, I probably wouldn't be here today. I think those times that I were in jealousy, it kind of, like, helped me and saved me and preserved me, you know what I mean? And it blessed me to a sense, to where it's like, I don't judge anyone. I don't look at anyone's life. I don't care what you have. I don't care what you don't have. The main thing is just that you recognize that, guess what? Life is not about the accumulation of things, but life is more so about you getting an understanding. That why he said, with all you're getting understanding. Because when we truly have understanding of things and of ourselves, we move differently. 2s And as it was just speaking, I was reminded of that Bible verse that says, but the wicked are like troublesee when it cannot rest. So it was almost like you didn't have peace. Like even though you thought that you were living this one life, but the fact that you were chosen, you was restless. 1s Restless. I'm going to share a story, which is the true story. 1s One night, this is no lie, I'm riding down the road, I'm going to the other side of town to go do some dirt. Got my music blasting. 215s in the back, music blasting. I'm drinking, I'm smoking. And over all that noise, how about a church song start playing in my mind, like over the speakers and everything, I just hear this church song playing and I'm like, where the heck is that coming from? So I started drinking more, trying to drown out that song, trying to get rid of the guilt I was feeling, because my heart was set on doing what I was going to go do. And I just thought about that. I told my wife that one time because I think about that sometime. Even in the midst of your darkest, dirtiest, grimiest moments, god was still showing you that my hand is still on for. 2s Is so good. So you made up your mind. You're like, okay, I'm going to live for you, guy. But did you have to change your environment? So what was that like? So I did, actually. 2s So when I left Los Angeles, I moved to Jacksonville, Florida. And when I moved to Florida, 2s it so I started a gang. There's a saying, right, that says that you can take a man out the hood, but you can't take the hood out the man. In other words, until your heart change, it don't matter where you go, where you move to. You just carry that thing with you from one place to another. So when I left La. I left La. Saying I'm going to stay out of trouble. So I'm going to Florida. My father was in Florida. I'm going to florida. But when I went to Florida, I still had La. Mentality in me. And I went to florida and started a gang there in florida. And so once I got into the church and started getting to understand it, I didn't go to my neighborhood for like two years. They didn't even know I was in florida. Like, these people I was with every single day. Wake up in the morning from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed every day, all day. 2s It. And then we were having a because I used to do music, I used to rap. So when I got saved, I started doing like gospel rap. And we were having this concert and we was handing out flyers and I took me and another member of the church, we went to the other side of town, to the side of town where my neighborhood is at. And when they see me, it was all like someone was happy. Someone was looking at me like and of course they had their rags hanging, their guns on the waist and all that stuff. And I invite them out to the concert and just was talking to them. And one thing that blessed me was that one of my homeboys, he came up to me, he was like, hey, cause you can't come back to this. And at first I didn't know what he was talking about. So that flesh tried to rev up him like, what you mean I started? What you mean I can't come back to? He was like, no, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is this, that if you and everything that you've done, if God is able to change you and you can come up out of it, then I know there's hope for me. And this is the thing that kind of like blessed me. Show me that. Sometimes when we're in sin, we don't see how bad off we are. Others may see, but you don't see it. You know what I'm saying? And then when God change as you and you have an encounter with somebody from that time period when you was doing your dirt, they say, man, used to do this, used to that. Man, we ain't got to go to the club with you because we know if you're just going to pop off. And I'm like, man, I wasn't that bad. And just listening to that, it was like, wow. He was like, man, listen, if God can change you, then he said, look, I know there's hope for me. And that kind of like blessed me and gave me the mindset. Now it ain't about me no more. Now I got to try to keep pressing and keep striving in spite of what obstacles that try to just comes my way. Because I know that look, there's others that are watching. Sometimes in life we think everybody's against us. But in that moment, God revealed to me that there are people that want you to succeed because they feel like my homeboy default. Like, man, if God can do it for you, then I know he can do it for me. So there are people that want us to succeed and they want us to succeed because it motivates them. 2s That is so true and it just seems like all the odds were against you. So to sit here and talk to you today and you were really able, with the help of God, to pull yourself out of that situation, that's a blessing because there are so many people that don't get to see themselves on the other side of it. Some of them may want it, but then they can't get past their mind because sometimes it's scarier to change than it is to stay in that environment. 1s Oh, yeah. And that's the reality though. That's the reality of life. But that's the thing though. We have to have a mindset on overcoming or conquering the fear. In the beginning. When you ask me that question, who is Joseph Bay? And I said the overcomer. And I say that because I'm not talking about just one area. There was a lot of different things that I was bound by, like before Christ, during Christ and in the midst until God truly see people think that when I say, God, come to my life, save me, forgive me for all my sins, then boom, we are completely changed. There's a deliverance and there's nothing else that you're going to have any type of trouble with. That's not the case. It's. We think that when we come to the church that everybody's supposed to be clean and perfect. But I look at the church like a hospital where do hurt or wounded people go physically they go to the hospital to get treatment. So when we come to the house of God, people are in there for different types of treatment. So it's no surprise that you got gossipers in the church. It's no surprise that you got backbiders in the church. It's no surprise that you got liars in the church but the surprise is on ministers who don't speak on those things and tell people what the Bible says about it. So why? So that they can get healed and hold. This is the thing about me in church so when people say are you religious? I kind of like tell them in this way like I'm not a religious person but I'm a person that has a relationship with the father. Through that relationship it brings about change because religion to me is just the formalities of church 1s but relationship goes beyond formalities. 2s That is so true. And that's another scripture where it tells us to work out our salvation. So a lot of the times 1s yes. And you have to put effort into changing. And so I'm so glad that you said that. That is so good. 1s Yeah, it definitely takes effort. And it's like anything else in life. It's like what you put in, what you don't get out. You know what I'm saying? It's like God, he gives us his grace and his mercy and blesses us, but then he wants us to do something with it. When my homeboy told me that you can't come back to this life because I'm looking at you and if God can do it for you, then I know he could do it for me, that was me. I was listening to Him, but I was hearing God speak in that moment like, look, what I'm going to do in your life and how I'm going to put you on display is not just for you, but I will use you as an instrument of change in the earth. And that's my desire. Like, God use me for instrument of change. However you desire to use me, God use me. But make sure that it brings glory to you. Father, if my life brings glory to God the Father, then guess what? I'm satisfied. But in doing so, like I say during that walk, the process, the closer I get to the Father, the more things fall off. But the anger, the rage, the unforgiveness that once dwelt here and then the lust that I had to deal with and things of that nature. And it's so crazy because. 2s So I see my grandfather cheat on my grandmother with different women. I see my father have so many different women. My father would pick me up. We would go out on Saturday. We stopped by this lady house. She'll cook breakfast for me. DA DA DA DA. They go handle business, go to another lady house, same routine. And I would always say, when I was young, I'm never going to be like them when I grow up. Never. Like, I'll picture myself having one woman, five kids, because from big family. So I won a lot of kids. And all it did was one heartbreak. I had this one female who cheated on me. And I say I told her these were I say, I will not physically put my hands on you, but I was so angry and so hurt that I literally wanted to but I said, I'm not going to put my hands on you. But because I was always taught retaliation. Revenge. Get back. Like, if you slap me, I'm going to slap you three times. And I told her, I say, I ain't going to put my hands on you, but you're going to feel my pain. And I began to mess with the lady across the street from us. And this lady and all her friends in front of her had her call the house. And when that door opened and I did it because I was hurt and because I was hurt, I wanted her to feel my pain. But when that door opened, I didn't know how to close it. And so we can allow pain to push us to a place where we would do things that we said we would never do. And once we partake of it, it's hard to cut loose from it. So that opened up and started a whole different war on the inside of me, because I didn't know how to deal with that level of pain at the time. 2s That is so good, because it's like I always tell my daughter, so alcoholism runs in my family, both sides. And so my daughter always says, I want to taste wine, and I always tell her no. And I said, when you get of age, I want you to be mindful of that, because that taste for you can spin you in a completely different direction because alcoholism is prevalent in your family, in your bloodline. So you have to be mindful of trying something, because your try could have a completely different consequence from somebody else try. 2s She doesn't seem to get that. But I don't think people realize that you can do something and have a completely different outcome. If I did the same thing, it, oh, yeah, one person may be able to do something, and it doesn't even fade them. Another person do the exact same thing, the exact same amount, and they stuck for ten years trying to get free from it. That is 1s because when I did that out of anger. 2s Out of it unlocked. And I was just like, wow. I never 2s paid attention to who thought I was attractive or nothing. But when that happened, 1s you look in my direction. Hey, come here. It did. And I was out of control. And then it was so crazy because 1s my intentions were to cause hurt it. And then you would see the hurt that you cause, and you'd be like, oh, man, I feel bad. And then you know what happened? We'd be sitting down watching TV, and in that moment of that television show, I would see a woman cheat on a man, and it would kick it right back up. My anger would rise right back up in that moment. I go out to door, go find another female in that moment. And it's so crazy because that relationship dissolved. 1s And that's my relationship with my two oldest children's mother. And then it's kind of like you get back in the church and you try to live right. Trying to live right. And that's what I say. It's so important to be around intentional preachers. In other words, people that are preaching the unadulterated word of God intention to get you delivered in the area that you're struggling in. I love to hear about prosperity and things of that nature, but give me some meat that I can eat on to nourish my spirit. Man. We can get strong enough to get out of this rut. Yes. 2s And so I carried some stuff for a while and then God just really dealt with me. Because sometimes in our walk with God, we can get so attached to leaders. And this is what I like to tell people sometimes too. 4s Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in the sense of sometimes we attach ourselves to people and you attacking yourself for the right reason, but people still try to proselyte you. In other words, I was a part of a ministry and I was so gun hole and so happy because I was finally out of the streets and I was living for God. I was on fire for God. But then what I was up under 1s kind of put me in bondage. And we don't recognize that because at the time we feel like we're serving God with everything and we love Him. But you have to be mindful of what you are attached to because your attachments could bring bondage as well. 2s It's so good. And as I'm listening to you talk, and you was talking about your dad and your granddad were cheaters, all I can hear is that scripture where it says that the adversary is like a roaring lion sinking whom he may devour. It's almost like he was sitting back waiting for an opportunity to get you to enter into that same cycle that they had 2s entering into that led to other things. 1s Yeah, that's a fact 2s in the scriptures, right? It talks about that. When a spirit is cast out of a man, it goes about seeking refuge, and it's going through dry places. Then it returns back to the place where it was cast out. When he finds the house swept out, he comes in, but he brings even seven more spirits, even more wickeder than himself. And I've seen that spirit come alive in my life. When I look back and think I said, Dang, that was me, because I allow hurt. Hurt opened up the door to rage. Rage open up the door to love. Lust open up the door to this. And all these spirits just came. But it came from that one thing of being hurt. You know what I'm saying? And really, I was hurt because I did not obey the word of God. Because what does God tell us to do with our hearts? He tells us to guard your heart with all diligence. Because I dissolve the issues of life. And sometimes we don't guard our hearts. We do everything we think we're supposed to be doing, but we're not guarding our heart. And that's why we're so easily hurt. And when we're hurt, he tells us to guard it for a reason. Because when you're hurt, you're wounded. And when you're wounded, it's easier to overtake a wounded man than there's a whole man. 1s That is so good. 2s That is so good. So what can you say to people that are listening? And they may be in the situation now and they just trying to figure out 1s they just trying to figure out how not to give up. Like they could be just experiencing something that's so great and they just feel like they can't win. What would you say? 1s I would tell them, I would smile and I would tell them, man, thank God that you're going through what you're going through. And I could just picture their face looking at me crazy like, what do you mean thank God that I'm going through what I'm going through? Do you just hear what I just said? And I would just simply tell them, listen, the reason I say thank God that you're going through what you're going through is because I know my God to be a redeemer. And not just that, but your mind. When our minds shift, then guess what happens? Everything's in our life begin to shift and realign themselves. A lot of things that take place in our life and a lot of the stuckness. And this is why some people feel like they're stuck, right? Because their mind is stuck, their mind relives. And this is the thing about memory. Memory is funny because memory has a way of replaying itself in your mind over and over and over. But that's why the Bible tells us to put on the helm to salvation because it dismisses those thoughts. And my encouragement to them would be this don't look at yourself as you're in a bad place. 1s I'm not saying I'm glad you're here, but I'm glad that you recognize the fact that you want something different for your life. And because you're saying, look, I'm tired of my life being like this. I'm tired of experiencing what I'm experiencing. Lord, I just need some change. That's what God been waiting on. So sometimes we think that what's going on in my life, but God just waiting on us to just desire, change, desire Him. Because I've learned that the definition of insanity is when we repeat the same actions, but we are expecting different results. See, we would never get anything different if we're doing the same thing. But when I get tired of that and I begin to do something I've never done before and I cry out to God from a pure heart and a sincere spirit and say, god, I won't change god, I desire you. And we begin to take our focus off of the situation. See, that's the thing about calling out to God. When you begin to call out to God, that means that you're not focusing on the situation anymore because now you're focusing who can help you with the situation, which is God. 1s That is. And because you put your attention upon Him, then guess what? He show up in that situation. 2s It's so good. Sometimes when you're going through, you think about what you're going through, and you don't think about 1s God pulling you out of that situation. So glad you said that. It's so good. 3s It's reality, though. It's real. It's real. That's what we tend to do. Oh, my God. 2s That's what we do. We pay more attention to the situation. 2s Who is able to get us out of the situation, 2s okay? And they like, well, wait, what if they're listening and they like, passage out? Easier for you to say because you are on the other side. 1s So what would you say? If they like, they don't know how to do that. 1s I could tell them, look, listen, I didn't know how to do that. And that's why whatever my mind told me to do. But then the scripture says that it is not in man to direct his steps. And it is so simple as the same way you're talking to me and you saying, well, Pastor Joe, how do I go about this? How how do I how do I want this change? But how do I go about this? Well, the scripture declared that you have not because you asked not. So you come to me saying that you desire change. Have you went to the Father and told him your desire? 3s Because if you go to God 3s because if you share your desires with God what he said? He said he'll give you the desire of your heart. But so many times we rehearse our desire for one another. But we don't never take that desire to God. So that would be my encouragement. I'm a direct them. Hey, I'm glad you're talking about it. I love that desire in you. Now, let's get that desire to God and watch what God do with it. And no, it ain't a genie. But God did say he gave his eyes of your heart. And he did say he's not a man that he should lie. And he did say nor does he the Son of man, that he should repent. In other words, if he said it, that settles it. He'll do it. Matter of fact, he said he will hasten to perform his word. 2s That is so good, it sounds so basic, but yet so powerful 5s all the time that I struggle with my thoughts. All I had to do was first off. 1s Redirect my thoughts and then simply ask God to help me with it. Wow. That's it. Because listen what God tells us to do. He says, cast your cares upon me because I care for you. Right? 1s So it's like when we think about that word cast, when you're throwing the net out in the water, you casting it or you're fishing. You throw that out in the water. You're trying to throw it as far away from you as you can see. And this is what sometimes we do. We drop it. But we don't cast it because we drop it. That means it's right there in front of us. We have the ability to pick it back up. But if I cast that thing far away from me, that means what? I'm not finn to go this 2 miles to go and pick that thing back up 1s because it's not in my sight anymore. He said, cast your cares upon me. Why? Because I care for you. He don't even want you carrying it. That's how much you love you. And the only reason we care for so long is because we have yet to cast it upon Him. 2s But see, that is so good. So it's very important to know the word of God, because if you don't know the word of God, you wouldn't be able to know all of this stuff. That. 2s Is written for us. So have you always studied or was this something that you did once you truly surrendered? 2s So it's once I truly surrendered because like I said, I grew up in church, I played the drums, I did all that good stuff. But it's kind of like you're around it, but you're not in it. What I mean by that is that you can be around a place of miracles and around the place of healing and yet and still don't get your miracle and your healing. 1s Kind of reminds me of in the scripture where it talks about there's a pool and at a certain time the angel will come out and trouble the waters and the first one in would get healed. And it's kind of like that same thing when I think about my life. I was around where the miracles take place. I was around where the healing deliverance took place at. But because I never moved when the waters were troubled, I didn't get that healing or that deliverance until later on in life. But I do know this, that I don't care where a person is at. I don't care. They're 55 years old and they got this thing figured out. Yet one thing I do know is that God has made everything beautiful in his timing. And that's why I say about sometimes we look at a person and say, man, you're 55, you should be doing this by now. You should be doing that by now, you're 22. But God said he made it beautiful and win in his timing. And his timing is not our timing. 1s So our jobs are to encourage somebody. That's why I have no problem sharing my story, because how does and let me tell you how awesome God is, right? And I thank God for my wife because I was in a place to where I'm not going to apply for a certain position because I know my past, I know my record. I'm not planning for this, not applying for that. And she would say, hey, just apply for it. If God do it god do it what you got to lose? 1s So I so 1s got blessed with a good job, and then I got another job, then I got a government job, and then I got a promotional government job. And I'm like, with my past, this ain't supposed to be happening. 2s But God is a God that he says, listen here, he will do it because he said he would do exceedingly abundantly. Above all, we can actually think me working for the government is above what I can actually think of, because according to what the world says, that ain't supposed to be supposed to happen. True. 1s But God says that I have to do the impossible in your life because it produces faith. So now you can't tell me what God can't do or what he won't do, because I know what he will do. 2s That is so good just listening to you. It has just been phenomenal because you are definitely an overcomer and so if you could leave the listeners with a final thought, what would you leave them with? 2s So the final thought that I would leave the listeners with is that to truly understand that your best days are really the for you, 2s that it ain't over, it's not the end. And I don't care if you're going through something right now. Amen. When you think back over your life, and this is what I would tell anybody, that what you're going through right now, that's not the first time you ever been through anything in the same way God brought you out of what you went through before. He's able to do it now because he said he's the Lord, that guy who changes not. So my encouragement will be if you know God to keep pushing, if you don't know God to align yourself with somebody who does know God, have relationship who can usher you into the presence of the Lord. Amen. And the main thing is your desire. I pray that God gives us all a desire for more of Him because the earth is the Lord and the footage thereof. And if the earth belongs to my Father and he says there's no good thing that he withhold from us who walk upright, then the sky is the limit and there's no limit on your blessing. All you have to do is get in line with the Father and I'll just let everyone know that he loves you in spite of he loves us. In spite of 1s that is some love, 2s that's deeper love than our spouse can love us because our spouse can love us with everything that God in us and then we do something one day and then that love. Now they fighting to love us. God never fights to love us because all he knows is love. He. So my word of encouragement would be, just keep pushing. Keep pushing because the enemy wants you at a standstill. At a standstill. But when you had a standstill, that's when everything from your past, that's when everything that's going on presently can really affect you. And I'll say this this last thing is that when we think about that script that says, don't be lukewarm warm, when we think about stagnation and we think about water, I was seeing it rain one time. There's a tire right there, and the water built up in the tire, and it was just sitting there. And next thing you know, there was mosquitoes, there was bugs, there was parasites. All this stuff in this water that was just sitting there. And that's what happens to us when we get to a standstill. We allow ourselves to get polluted. But as long as you keep moving, as long as you keep moving, as long as you keep that water stirred up, you continue to remain pure. And the more you go, the more you move, guess what happens the more that nastiness gets up out of you. So just keep pressing. No matter who says, what about you? No matter who tries to say, you ain't this and you ain't that, I need for you to remember who you are in God. You are the head and not the tail. Above only and not beneath you are you in the sight of God. And just know that he loves you. That will be my word of encouragement. 1s Thank you. I appreciate you so much for tuning in. So if someone wanted to reach out to you, are you online or anything like that? 3s I am online. Well, I'm on 1s YouTube. Facebook. On YouTube. Overseer Bailey. Facebook. Joseph Bailey. And then so I haven't really had a serious media presence, but that's getting ready to change. So in this season, doing things a little different. So now I'm going to get started on having a media presence. Thank God for my sister amen introducing me to the podcast world. I'm going to get started in that. And I'm going to sit down and get this book together. So I got some things that I'm working on that I'm excited about, that God is doing a new thing in this season and a new projection and a new level of excitement. And I just thank God in advance for what he has yet to do. And my prayer is always that he can use me, my life, my story, my testimony in the boldness, that I have to speak of his goodness to anyone, to bring change to someone. 1s Yes. And listen, I am so excited. So I am going to link your information on my website so that if anyone is listening, wants to reach out or wants to follow his ministry, it will be on Brooksdamming.com. So, again, Pastor Joe, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for your transparency. You have been a breath of fresh air because a lot of times when we get in ministry, we forget our testimony and so we want to sometimes keep that hidden, but that is the thing that draw people to Christ. So I appreciate you for being transparent today. Amen. Amen. I appreciate I thank God for you. I thank God for you allowing me this opportunity to share your platform and this conversation has been a blessing amen to me. And I pray that all those that tune in that amen. That they will be blessed amen. Through our conversation. And I pray that God continues to enlarge and bless this platform and your ministry and what you're doing for the building of the kingdom and that God will continue to bless. Amen. The works of your hands. Amen. The work of your hands, everything that you put your hands to do for God, I pray that he blesses it and cause it to multiply, that he continues to give you fresh idea and witty inventions to expand the kingdom. Amen. And I just thank God for you continue to do what you're doing for the kingdom of God, knowing that greater is definitely on the way for you. And so I thank God for you and your family. Amen. And you guys be blessed and thanks again for having me on. Amen. It was a pleasure. It was nice. It was good I received. So thank you so much. 1s This concludes today's episode. Thank you for tuning in. I hope the information presented adds value to your life. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube at brooksdemming. The sponsor of today's episode was clothed by J Christine, a Christian clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday fashionable, conscious woman. To learn more about today's guests, visit brooksdimming.com. Until next time, be resilient 2s you it. Thanks for joining. Please rate this episode and share this podcast with your family and friends. To learn more about your host, visit www.brooksdemming.com.