Solo Chaos: Love, Culture, and Parenthood

When our life with toddler Noa turned into a whirlwind of chaos and runny noses, we knew it was time to get real about the pandemonium of parenting. Gone are the days of neatly planned routines; enter the era of daycare germs and the mad dash back to office life. We're peeling back the Instagram filter to reveal the truth behind our disrupted wellness practices, shaken morning routines, and yes, even how we're navigating the complexities of intimacy amid the beautiful mess that is raising a young family. 

Confronting mental health is never easy, especially when you're in the thick of raising a lively toddler like Noa. We've opened up about the struggle, the tug-of-war between wanting to maintain a semblance of 'normal' and considering medication in our battle against anxiety. Add to that the ever-present weight of current events, such as the troubling rise of anti-Semitism, and it's clear why even the staunchest wellness routines are sometimes not enough. It's a candid look at the challenges we face and our journey towards asking for help, something we all could probably do a little more often.

But it's not all chaos and contemplation here; we've also found moments of joy and rediscovery. We share our experience of connecting with Jewish and Israeli creators, which has breathed new life into our cultural traditions and given a new flavor to our Shabbat dinners. From these moments of cultural reconnection to the cheeky banter about how we'd fair on a reality show like 'Love Island,' this episode is a rollercoaster ride through the highs and lows of midlife transformations, parenting, and finding laughter amidst the chaos. Join us for a heartfelt and humorous exploration of life's unpredictable journey.

Your hosts: @lynnhazan_ and @tonydoesknow

follow us on social @ltkpod!

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:01

Hey, welcome to the Lynn and Tony Know podcast. I'm your host, Lynn.

Speaker 2 0:04

And I'm Tony. We are both wellness coaches and married with kids.

Speaker 1 0:07

Join us as we talk about all things health, wellness, relationships, life hacks, parenting and everything in between, unfiltered. Thanks for listening and let's get into it. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2 0:18

Welcome back.

Speaker 1 0:19

First solo episode in a while. In a minute we're going to catch up. Yeah, it's a lot to catch up on. I was actually thinking about this earlier. When we had Noah newborn, the first six months, eight months, we had our shit together. We were recording every week. We had a good routine. I don't know, I felt like like three to six month range yeah, like I felt like like we knew what we were doing.

Speaker 1 0:50

And now, uh, noah is a year and a couple of months old and shit has hit the fucking fan in every way possible yeah like every day feels like, feels like a, like a hurricane, like there's no no reprieve, yeah, yeah. Like all, like I feel, like you know, we would talk about like our morning routines and our sex life and like everything was on point. Like our morning routine was on point, our sex life was on point, like everything was on point, and now it is not yeah, no, do you want to?

Speaker 2 1:29

elaborate I'm really wondering, like, what is like underneath all of that? Like there's obviously been some. I mean, she's changed, our days have changed. She goes to daycare now. That's another variable so, which means I'm back at in the office pretty much full time now. So that's another variable and outside of that the global energetic variables that have played out over the past seven months, which this is not what this one's about. But that's there right.

Speaker 1 2:10

That's a hum in the background. That is static, that is always ringing.

Speaker 2 2:14

So there's a lot of different things at play, and I mean, if nothing else, what I've noticed with having a small child is that once you have a phase figured out, it's on to the next phase.

Speaker 1 2:27

So you really I just feel like I don't know. I feel like we had our shit much more locked in, even though we weren't sleeping as great, even though it was hectic, because we're taking care of a baby Now we're sleeping through the night. Now she's in daycare. It should be easier. Baby, now we're sleeping through the night. Now she's in daycare. It should be easier.

Speaker 2 2:48

I also think that biologically you have rose-colored glasses on a bit A bit.

Speaker 1 3:00

I don't know, I just feel like I believe there is an evolutionary imperative. I was meditating every day. I was going like there is an evolutionary. I was meditating every day. I was going outside for walks every day, I was doing my shit, like my morning routine, my, my stuff, you know, and I was getting stuff done. And now it gets to a point where it's like four o'clock I still haven't showered yet, like you know what I mean. Like bare minimum, even meditating five minutes, it's just like everything's a fucking mess right now.

Speaker 2 3:29

Yeah, there's also another factor that's come to play in the past four months. Specifically is like we have not spent more than a week all of us in this house house healthy, like yes like that has been from Christmas COVID to present day. There has not.

Speaker 1 3:48

And everybody told me this about sending Noah to daycare that she was going to get sick a lot. And lo and behold, we have been getting sick a lot and I don't ever get sick, never, never, never get sick. Yeah, and I've been sick on and off since the end of December and, yeah, that can really wear on you At some point.

Speaker 2 4:13

I'm just waiting for my white blood cells to just, you know, pick up their shields and swords and be like we got it from here, like enough of this.

Speaker 1 4:23

I mean, you seem healthy.

Speaker 2 4:24

I'm still like I probably sound crazy side of it a bit, but you were also the last one to like seem to come down with this round.

Speaker 1 4:33

So I give you a day or two and you'll be back to normal, but my god and also like the reason I want to bring this up, because I feel like people follow us and look at us and they're like, oh, you know, they work out, they have their shit together. Like they're on point, like no, we are not on point, our life is a fucking shit show of a mess. Like we're in, like yeah, like it's not good, things are not good.

Speaker 1 5:02

We're having we're still having sex, not as often as I'd like to be like we, we like to average on like three or four times a week yeah we are more on the once or twice yeah, a week, which I know is really good still when you have kids and a very busy schedule. Yeah, but for us it's not. It's like not.

Speaker 2 5:24

Everything's taking a little bit of a hit. I mean even the podcast. There's been stretches where it's been two weeks before we get an episode out because we have 9,000 things going on. Part of it is, I find, that the more that you resist what's there like, the more it's going to prolong, like it's just going to keep going until you kind of come into acceptance and go okay, here's what's happening. I hear the things I can't control, and here are the things I can't and we're in the like. The one thing that I feel that you've articulated pretty well is that awareness to it Like, yeah, like things are crazy. It feels like a tornado every single day, like dodging arrows constantly and they're coming from everywhere, literally, literally, like take your pick, take your genre, take your field of work, life, health, the guy from the Matrix going like you know, like it's just like life tasks coming at me you know, yeah, and we're dressed like we're in the Matrix right now too, and that's not even on purpose.

Speaker 1 6:35

I'm still in workout clothes from this morning.

Speaker 2 6:39

Yeah, I mean, it's one of those, and I keep reminding myself that it's simply a season that we're in right now. This is not forever, this is not permanent. This is a wave, this is the trough.

Speaker 1 6:51

It's a shit season.

Speaker 2 6:52

It's a shit season, but it is not something that we get to avoid and it does feel like before the baby and maybe even slightly after the baby, like you referenced. Of course, the first 90 days are their own thing Like nobody gets to avoid that, but you're all. But at the same time you're sort of relieved of everything else. If you're fortunate which we were so even at that, that 90 days, while incredibly difficult, you're well insulated from all of the other shit for the most part if you're fortunate enough to be in that position.

Struggling With Mental Health Challenges

Speaker 1 7:29

But outside of that, prior to that, the waves just felt so much longer and the highs lasted longer and the lows were shorter, and now it just feels like choppier seas, like they're quicker, like if we get on the peak at all, like right now we're in a trough and it feels like we've been in a trough for a while, a very long time, yeah, but also that just means a very long peak is next, and I really do try to get back to a place of gratitude because I know my life is wonderful and amazing and, you know, I have a roof over my head and I have food on the table and my kids are healthy and like that's like mostly and that's, you know, my family's healthy, like I'm very, I'm more fortunate than 99% of the world, you know, sure, but then there's that other side where it's like why can't I get my shit together?

Speaker 1 8:27

You know, yeah, and every day I try, every day I wake up and it's like you're just getting back on the bike and today I was like, okay, I'm going to meditate and I'm going to do my affirmations and I do it and I did a little workout, and every day you try and every day you try. And really, you know, I wanted to talk about this on this podcast because I feel like, especially with social media and just people on the Internet, you see, like their highlights and some people are authentic and real, but like you might see us and like we cold plunge and we do all these things, but we also like we haven't really cold plunge also you know, because we've been sick, but you know we're going through it like anybody else, and we're, you know things are.

Speaker 1 9:07

Things are rough, like I'll admit, like I'm almost at a place where I was like maybe I should go on antidepressants or anti anxiety because it's just like like I want some, you know, feeling of relief and where'd you land on that?

Speaker 1 9:22

Uh, you know, it's interesting because for I have, I have no judgment against it there are people in my family who who take it and it helps them tremendously and I always try to convince them to go off of it and like do other things, like meditate and whatever, Um, and I do all those things, like I do all the mental health things that you could possibly do, and I still feel like I can't get you know ahead of it and I just like like it's a really low time right now in my life and I don't know. Some relief sounds kind of nice, but I have this stubborn side of me that wants to get through it without it, you know is that?

Speaker 2 10:08

is that stubborn? Do you think that's stubborn? Is that how you've sort of labeled it?

Speaker 1 10:14

I don't know, I like, I'm I guess I'm the type of person that has a hard time asking for help and and taking a pill that could potentially help me and even if it's just temporary, like I, have a problem with that. You know, it's like oh, I'm taking something that when I like, well, I can't help myself.

Speaker 2 10:32

Like you feel like you're cheating. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 10:36

But also things are just not great, like I just don't feel mentally myself, like I'm like and it affects everything else in my life and I want to be able to. I just need some relief. You know the chatter, the chatter, the chatter, the anxiety Like people with anxiety who are listening understand. It's just constant in your head and you're like shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2 10:58

Yeah.

Speaker 1 10:59

And, yeah, you can meditate and cold plunge and that helps 100% and I will continue doing those things. But to what point are you like? Okay, like I do need more help, you know.

Speaker 2 11:11

Is there a part of you that recognizes that this has been presented as an option, when maybe those habits haven't been in place for the, for the, for a longer stretch than normal?

Speaker 1 11:26

I think I think I've always had anxiety. Obviously, the time that I'm in right now in this season is a lot more intense for me and also traumatizing. And the rise in anti-Semitism and being a Jewish public figure online all of that is just like a recipe for disaster. Being unwell, just being unwell, and like, yeah, it's like. You know, I look at it this way, like I have the problem, this is my problem. And every habit like chips away you know every healthy habit like eating well, exercising, walking outside it chips. Every habit like chips away at that. You know every healthy habit like eating well, exercising, walking outside it chips away. It chips away, but it's not chipping away enough for me to feel well.

Speaker 2 12:15

Yeah.

Speaker 1 12:15

In normal times it does, it helps, but right now, the time that I am going through in my life, it's not like none of it is helping. Yeah, you know like and we talked about October 7th and we talked about the anti-Semitism I'm also going through some sort of like I don't like to call it a myth Is it a midlife crisis?

Speaker 2 12:36

Okay. So this is interesting because, yes, on paper, that's what it would be right. That's what most people would say is a midlife crisis Now, in your particular case. Life crisis Now in your particular case, and with the work that you've done, you know it can be. It can be labeled a midlife crisis, or it can be labeled like your next round of awakening, right, which can feel like crisis. It can feel like it rings every alarm bell that you have, like everything I've done up to this point is a lie and everything I that used to fulfill me doesn't fulfill me anymore, and what the fuck like I'm? I'm 40 years old and I'm supposed to start over and start new and whatever basically, you just told you what I'm going through yeah, yeah, I'm sorry you know, yeah, spoiler alert, um, but yeah, yeah, like that's.

Speaker 2 13:24

Yes, there are a lot of people, like anybody that's experienced a midlife crisis, is experiencing what you are experiencing right now. Right, what I also believe is that what you're experiencing can have multiple different interpretations, some of them very negative and some of them very hopeful and positive, in between trying to figure out what it means for you and where to go next, you know, when you quit your corporate job to pursue a blog, that wasn't a crisis, but you were in the same kind of thing. It was still the same cycle. It was still a similar season. It feels different now.

Speaker 1 14:03

It feels different because I feel like now there's a lot more at stake, sure, whereas back then I didn't. You know. Like, yeah, I had a kid, but I had. Like now there's a lot more at stake, whereas back then I didn't. You know, like I, yeah, I had a kid, but I had a, like a good job. I had, you know, money in the bank, I had a savings you know what I mean like it's different. Like now I'm going from being running my own business for 10 years, you know, to not knowing what I want to do next, right, and you know, there's like a parts of me that's like feels like a failure, like I worked so hard to get to where I am today and you know it, feeling like it's no longer working for me, feels like, oh what? Where did I fail you?

Speaker 1 14:40

know what I mean Like where did I go wrong?

Speaker 1 14:42

Like I could have, you know, I remember like years ago, five years ago I remember years ago five years ago, I started my marketing agency, three years after I started the blog, and it blew up and it was a huge success.

Speaker 1 15:01

I had 10 employees and then the pandemic happened and, like a lot of businesses, it ruined me and I think from there I just never recovered and I was so burnt out from years of of the grinding and waking up at 4am and working 12 hour days and I was just so burnt out. Uh, and then, after the pandemic, like I met you and we fell in love and we had this whole love story and like I was focused on that. Yeah, and then I had Noah and I and motherhood and just all those things like shifted what I shifted, like my desires, you know, and and I was, and that's when I went to get my certificate in health, nutrition and I did that when I was pregnant and right before October 7th I was planning like I hired a health coach and everything and I was planning on starting my own business coach.

Speaker 1 15:55

I'm sorry. I hired a business coach to help me, you know, build this online business where it was going to be like a health coach, like more like relationship coaching for women single women and women in relationship and I had a whole, like you know workshop and everything. I had like everything done and I even had a photo shoot scheduled for like mid-October, like I was so excited and ready to pursue something new and then woke up October 7th and that everything just went, you know, down the drain and that desire to want to start this business just evaporated. It's like I have no desire. I, you know, explored a month ago or month and a half ago, explored the idea of getting back to it, but I don't have any desire to do it. It's like my purpose has changed.

Speaker 2 16:51

Okay, but you don't know where yet.

Speaker 1 16:55

No.

Speaker 2 16:58

And one of the things that you struggle with is giving yourself the grace to figure it out without a timeline.

Speaker 1 17:08

Yeah, because I don't feel like I have that luxury Like I, you know I'm. We live in a capitalistic society. We have, I have Mia in a private school, I have Noah in daycare, you know we have trips and and thing, bills to pay and groceries and all that stuff, and I wish I could take like a six month sabbatical and just figure, you know, find myself or meditate all day, whatever. But I don't. You know we don't have that luxury right now.

Speaker 2 17:37

you know, right, but you're also putting the idea of finding yourself in this one idea box of oh, I need all of this time and space in order to figure it out, and limiting yourself to that's it.

Speaker 1 17:53

Yeah, but how am I supposed to? Here's the thing, though how am I supposed to figure out what my purpose is if I'm spending most of my working day working hustling in the job? That doesn't fulfill me at all, right, and then, by the time evening three o'clock rolls around, I have to pick up Noah and I hang up. We hang out with her until she goes to sleep, I make dinner, and that's it. I'm shot. When and what what part of my day do I have the time and the space and the energy to sit and just explore?

Speaker 2 18:27

I believe it could be accomplished with 20 minutes of meditation every day.

Speaker 1 18:31

Okay, yeah, so I do meditate, yeah, I would be a start.

Speaker 2 18:34

It would be meditating with the intention of please guide me towards my next thing. Yeah, right, and just surrendering to that, or Bob Proctor, I don't want to talk about Bob Proctor because we were doing Bob Proctor.

Speaker 1 18:47

I don't want to talk about Bob Proctor because we were doing Bob Proctor for 30 days and look at the shit we're in. Didn't work.

Speaker 2 18:54

We stopped.

Speaker 1 18:55

We did it for 30 days.

Speaker 2 18:56

We did. We did the requested challenge.

Speaker 1 18:58

So I mean, that's where I am. It's a big question mark and I know I'm sure a lot of people in their 40s experience the same thing. Maybe you've had the same job for 10 years and you kind of wake up and it's like what the fuck? You know and I know a lot of Jews specifically also feel the same way I just feel kind of lost. You know, like things, things have changed for us and the world has changed for us and we've lost a lot of friends and colleagues and business opportunities and what's happening in the world, and particularly the rise in anti-Semitism.

Speaker 1 19:32

But also gained a lot we 100% gained a lot for sure, but it's changed. It's changed Everything.

Speaker 2 19:39

It's changed in a very permanent way, but I want there to be see, even in like that moment, there's no space for the positive.

Speaker 1 19:50

I'm like Debbie Downer, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 19:53

But I want you to notice like there isn't any space for the positive right now, like even in the way that you talk, there's no space for that positive outcome, and I want you to be able to notice that in real time because it matters. The words that you're putting out there matter because it reflects the energy that you have inside of you.

Speaker 1 20:10

Oh my God, you're so annoying. I know I love you, but you're so annoying.

Speaker 2 20:16

Okay, tell me, push back on any part that you feel. No, you're right 100%.

Speaker 1 20:19

This is not me. Bitching and complaining is not me, it's not my vibe, also not true, also not true.

Speaker 2 20:24

Also not true, also not true. Part of you is that way, part of me is that way.

Speaker 1 20:29

Well, it's not what I want to be. That's not the part of you. You want to speak the loudest right now and it's controlling the narrative Okay, but but don't resist the part of you and don't ignore the part of you. That's there.

Speaker 2 20:57

That is positive, be grateful, grateful, gratitude, gratitude. But after a couple of months of being grateful, green and like, like, like you're getting shit on constantly, like you kind of like, yeah, it's the next, it's the next level of, of testing your awareness, oh.

Speaker 1 21:02

Testing, testing, yeah, oh yeah, we can.

Speaker 2 21:06

We can roll our eyes and we can push back and we can fight it, and we can. Then we get stuck in it. I mean, like, ultimately, that's what happens, is we get stuck in it and then we get comfortable like that's the next, that's the next level. Then we get so comfortable in the shit that now we're starting to convince ourselves that's what we deserve, that's where we're supposed to be and that's all we're worth.

Speaker 1 21:28

So the thing is what I am in, the difference between now and in previous times where I felt stuck. Now I'm putting one foot in front of the next and I'm putting things out there and I'm having discussions with people and I'm, you know, redoing my resume and putting together like my portfolio, like I'm trying. It's not like I'm just sitting and waiting for something to happen. I like listen. It's hard because, like I said, I'm running, I'm still running a business and I'm still working and I'm still taking care of two kids and you know taking care of my health and being an amazing, amazing wife.

Speaker 1 22:00

Thank you, baby, really.

Speaker 2 22:01

Yeah.

Rediscovering Jewish Culture and Toddler Parenting

Speaker 1 22:13

Trying, you know like I'm trying to cook every night. That's actually one thing that's been really fun for me and really therapeutic is on.

Speaker 2 22:17

TikTok.

Speaker 1 22:17

I was avoiding TikTok like the plague since October 7th, because I mean.

Speaker 2 22:22

It is the seventh circle of hell.

Speaker 1 22:23

It is really horrible and very anti-Semitic and Gen Z just yeah, I love you, gen Z, but I also some of you need to go to go back to school and I avoided it because it was very triggering. But I was like, let me change my algorithm. So I just like search for like Israeli food recipes and like Jewish food recipes and like Israeli songs and artists and whatever. So the algorithm now thinks I'm Israeli Well, I am, but like the algorithm, is like only thinks you're only.

Speaker 1 22:57

Israeli no, but sometimes some anti-Semitic shit will sneak in and I'm just like nope, nope, nope. Um, I'll read the comments sometime just to see like the don't read the comments, do not read the comments.

Speaker 2 23:10

You know the only reason I open TikTok right now. Why is because when you edit a video in CapCut and you don't want the CapCut watermark, oh yeah, Download the TikTok and then download from TikTok. That's the only reason I open TikTok ever.

Speaker 1 23:26

So now the algorithm is like very friendly to me and I stumbled upon the most amazing Jewish, Israeli creators that make you know that share recipes, and I'm fucking obsessed Like I am obsessed.

Speaker 2 23:44

Me too, by the way.

Speaker 1 23:45

And I just like been making recipes and saving recipes and I've been cooking a lot and we make Shabbat dinner every Friday and it's just like this big, it's such a big deal and it's bringing me. So that's like one thing in my life right now that brings me so much joy and so much satisfaction is our Shabbat dinner. You know, like Friday, after I disconnect at like two o'clock, I get all my stuff, as much stuff done as possible, and I start cooking at two and then we sit and have dinner.

Speaker 1 24:19

You know, I'll put Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I'll pour myself a glass of wine, I'll cook or have people over you know, sometimes we'll have people over and we'll eat and we'll just and we'll just chill out and it's just like my favorite day of the week and it just brings me and I just love doing shabbat like, yeah, that's like one thing that came out of all this mess is the like, my appreciation for my culture and for my traditions. And I didn't. I grew up in a very secular home like my parents, don't my parents like we. We did the holidays, but it was very like, you know, chill, like my mom served fried shrimp at passover a couple years ago, like I was, like what are you?

Speaker 1 25:04

doing. Shrimp isn't kosher, obviously, but like and it was breaded shrimp too. I'm like mom, like this is not a real passover. We didn't even read this. The hagadah I was just like I was. This is just a regular dinner. This is not a satyr it's crazy.

Speaker 1 25:20

So I grew up and that's the kind of home I grew up like, yeah, with. My grandparents were alive, we did the whole thing. My grandfather was a little bit more religious but that was it like Like I wasn't. I was exposed to it because I went to a Jewish school and my friends, you know, did Shabbat and I would go to their house for sure, but it was always curious about it, but in my home like it wasn't something that we really did. So I feel like now, at 40, I'm kind of rediscovering like my Judaism and you know I always said, you know I always associate myself more as Israeli. You know like like less Jewish, more Israeli. But now I'm kind of like you know, equally both and it's really nice and celebrating all the like we did two Bishva, which is some random fucking holiday that I've never celebrated. It's like a spring holiday, yeah we planted three trees.

Speaker 1 26:12

We planted three trees in Israel and sent the notes to anti-Semitic friends. No, we didn't do that.

Speaker 2 26:21

Wait, what Is that part of?

Speaker 1 26:22

it. That's a prank. So there's a prank that people have been doing is, if they have anti-Zionist people in their family, they plant trees on their behalf.

Speaker 2 26:32

Oh, I get it. I get it, which is hilarious. That is funny.

Speaker 1 26:36

But yeah, that's been like a big. That's been bringing me, you know, a lot, a lot of joy. It's like you know what was the point of that?

Speaker 2 26:45

Nothing, what was the point of that, nothing. You were going down a path of all of the negative things, and then I you steer me back.

Speaker 1 26:53

I nudged you.

Speaker 2 26:55

We've been on Lynn's cooking show for.

Speaker 1 26:58

Is that what I should do? My own cooking channel? No, that shit's hard man it is hard. Yeah, like taking the videos is so hard.

Speaker 2 27:07

And editing Videoing cooking is difficult. It is hard, yeah, like taking the videos is so hard and editing Videoing cooking is difficult.

Speaker 1 27:12

And also I don't do like like no, you're not a recipe Like.

Speaker 2 27:17

you're not a strict recipe, girl Like.

Speaker 1 27:19

I, I like I look at it and I'm like, okay, and then I like, do my own maybe that could be your you know, it's like a little bit of this a little bit of that, and you got to just taste you know, that's how my mom cooks.

Speaker 2 27:30

Yeah, I mean you're both great cooks, so whatever it is, it works.

Speaker 1 27:41

So that's been, yeah, that's been bringing me a lot of, a lot of joy right now. So really just taking it like one day at a time yeah, at this point, and circle back to toddler life.

Speaker 2 27:47

Like we have a toddler she's, she is, I swear to god, she's in the terrible twos already no, oh my god I don't know, I don't have any context, but it feels like it.

Speaker 1 27:58

It feels mia, my eldest, who's 11, was an angel in comparison to what we are experiencing.

Speaker 2 28:07

My mom said I did not mess with anything.

Speaker 1 28:09

Noah is wow, she's a bully. She bullies me, she throws shit, she pulls my hair, she throws shit at me.

Speaker 2 28:19

You literally hurl stuff at your feet.

Speaker 1 28:21

She hurls stuff at my feet. I literally have a black bruise on my on my foot from her dropping stuff on my feet. She screams at me, screams at me and then will come sit on me and like hug me and like I can't. Obviously I'm not gonna be mad at her.

Speaker 2 28:35

She eats dog food, loves dog, that's not just her, though I think that's a thing. Dogs love dog food.

Speaker 1 28:40

Yeah, you know, plays with the dog water. Have you tried it Huh?

Speaker 2 28:43

Have you tried the dog food? No, why would I do?

Speaker 1 28:45

that it's disgusting.

Speaker 2 28:47

She like everything she's not supposed to do she does she does a tour, like she'll do a tour throughout the entire house of all the things she's not supposed to do, like back to back to back, like you'll steer away from one and she'll move on to the next one. It's crazy, it's so it's and. I got a list.

Speaker 1 29:02

Oh my God. And then we put her in the little cage thing and she, she's screaming Like she doesn't want to be Kate. I get it. I wouldn't want it either. But like I don't know, like what do you do with? I haven't figured it out. Don't tell me All you parents with the arts and crafts, like, shut the fuck up. No, I'm not, I'm not building a craft thing, I'm not doing that. No, no. And the worst part.

Speaker 2 29:36

She doesn't even want to watch TV.

Speaker 1 29:37

Oh, she wants to mess around, she just looks for trouble all day.

Speaker 2 29:41

Maybe we should just give her some simpler shit to play with, like just give her the cardboard boxes and let her go nuts and not worry about like.

Speaker 1 29:47

That's fine, I'm fine, but I'm not building a whole like uh, you know, like something in a Ziploc bag and I'm sure it's easy, but like no, my God, but yeah that's where we're at, that's where we are. At least she's sleeping through the night.

Speaker 2 30:04

She's sleeping through the night. Yeah, we've had a couple wonky ones when she was more in the thick of her cold spell, everybody was right Sending her to daycare.

Speaker 1 30:13

Yeah, they just always get sick. You take the positives and the negatives apparently that's all you can do, but she's liking it like. The first two weeks were brutal at least two weeks.

Speaker 2 30:23

She was very resistant when we brought her there and then, like today, you dropped her off. She was smiling at the, at the caretaker, like, near her, like was ready to rock. I don't know what happened when we left.

Speaker 1 30:33

She's growing up my sweet little angel. Okay, let's talk about. So we went on a trip. We didn't talk about our trip.

Speaker 2 30:41

Yeah, yeah yeah, so we went on a week now.

Speaker 1 30:44

Previous episode we had an episode like a couple of uh, maybe a year ago, probably, after we traveled with noah to miami she was like a couple of months old and we also took her to israel at a couple of months and we were like it was so easy and she slept through the night. Oh, I recommend just travel, just take them everywhere.

Speaker 2 31:05

You know what I mean they're different people every three but toddlers oh and and and let's be clear, like really looking back on the flights, she was not the worst she could have been there were moments where she was challenging.

Speaker 1 31:22

I think it's just you forget.

Speaker 2 31:24

I remember getting off the plane and going like that was hard, but not for all of the reasons, necessarily because she was acting up. It's just hard Like there's no space for her.

Speaker 1 31:35

Yeah, like she wants to wiggle around. We're a little cheap and we're taking advantage of her being under two, not a little cheap, we're not going to spend $900 on a round trip to the Virgin Islands for her to have a seat.

Speaker 2 31:48

That what she's going to freak out in any way?

Speaker 1 31:51

We should have done it. Your parents paid for it.

Speaker 2 31:53

That was not part of the deal we are. We're doing it for the cruise here in a couple months. She will get a seat, thank God. Honestly, I don't know how much better that's going to be.

Speaker 1 32:08

We're going to put a car seat in the seat and then we're going to strap her in and give her budget drugs.

Speaker 2 32:15

I'm kidding. I'm waiting for this moment where you tell me how it's going to be, or there's also like a thing like a seat extender. Like.

Speaker 1 32:23

I saw on Amazon like it's for toddlers and you put it you're like box them in.

Speaker 2 32:28

I don't know. I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 32:29

We're going to. I. I follow a few like travel influencers who travel with and that's her whole.

Speaker 2 32:35

Thing.

Speaker 1 32:36

Maybe we'll have her on the show and get like all the details. Let's definitely do that. Let's book her on, yeah.

Speaker 2 32:42

Because at this point, until I've experienced it, I really can't see how worth it it will be to have the extra seat, because she's still going to be a maniac.

Speaker 1 32:53

It'll be fine. We're going to strap her in. It's going to be okay.

Speaker 2 32:56

But like in a straight jacket, or else what are we doing?

Speaker 1 32:58

Yeah, I don't know. Oh, have kids. They said It'll be fun. They said Nobody said that. Nobody said that I love my listen. I'm in a you're probably listening and you're like who the fuck is this? You're not used to me.

Speaker 2 33:17

It's fine. You keep it real online as well. You post the messy bits sometimes too I do, I am, I'm messy listen, it is what it is like. Fucking life is sloppy.

Speaker 1 33:26

That's why people love me or hate me, because I'm just yeah. It is what is in it in it um. Okay, real quick. What shows are we loving right now?

Speaker 2 33:39

The Apples Don't Fall, yeah, apples Don't Fall, yeah, I don't know. Okay, but it's the same author of Big Little Lies and Nine Perfect Strangers. It is so good the name escapes me, but this is her new TV adaptation miniseries. It's exactly what you think it would be. I'm not sure that I'll put it up there with big little lies and nine perfect strangers. Those both were very, very good, but so is this. It's not quite there, but it's if it scratches, that it's very and also vanderpump vanderpump's back how are we, how do we feel about vanderbilt?

Speaker 2 34:18

uh, so it is. It's good because we like the storylines.

Speaker 1 34:26

It's not blowing me away opinion the show is nothing without tom sandoval.

Speaker 2 34:31

Yes I don't think that's an unpopular opinion. Yes, he's a piece of shit straw. That he is the worst.

Speaker 1 34:36

He is actually the worst.

Speaker 2 34:38

The worst Is he, because Ariana is giving him a run for his money right now.

Speaker 1 34:42

I think Ariana Okay, I was thinking about this, I think Ariana, I think we're just not used to seeing women on TV upholding their boundaries. I think she just has boundaries and I and I was kind of like, yeah, she's a little like intense with it, but I get it. You know, he really fucked her over and like I understand that she doesn't want people her friends that are around her hanging out with him and because, like you know, like he's a weasel has changed.

Speaker 1 35:08

He's a. He's a weasel like he could in. Like it's not that I like I don't love ariana either. I like I don't know you know what I mean. In the real life would I be friends with her? Probably not, you know what I mean. You would not. But I get her Like I get like she's just like that's self, like we're just not used to seeing that on TV, so like automatically we're like oh, she's a bitch, she's the villain, she's, you know. Like how dare she? Like you know what I mean, but like I her boundaries. She's like you can be friends with tom sandoval, but like I don't want to hang out with you. If you're gonna hang out with him, you know what I'm saying. Because like she under, she knows how the game, how this tv, this show works. He's gonna start hanging out with sheena and lala and whatever, and then he's gonna end up in the same room as her, which we see in a.

Speaker 2 35:51

It's gonna be in the it looks like it's about to get it's about to happen and like she doesn't want that.

Speaker 1 35:56

you know, and I get that Like listen. You know like he cheated on her. It was a huge scandal that ended up helping her career, but still it's painful and they live in the same house. That's weird.

Speaker 2 36:06

Yeah, it's also fun. What that part's fun for. The storyline it's great. His assistant is low-key star, oh my.

Speaker 1 36:16

God, poor her, what she has to deal with.

Speaker 2 36:21

I hope he pays her a lot of money. I don't know, who knows.

Speaker 1 36:23

Whatever he pays.

Speaker 1 36:24

She doesn't have to Be his assistant All these celebrity assistants, like I'm watching Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and I'm on season 13. Do you know the characters on Beverly Hills? Sutton. So Sutton is one of the moms the women, she's a mom too, and her assistant, his name, is Avi. Beverly Hills, sutton. So Sutton is one of the moms not moms the women she's a mom too, and her assistant, his name is Avi. And obviously I was like, oh, avi Israeli, but she treats him horribly, oh my God, and I feel so bad.

Speaker 2 36:52

People work in situations by choice.

Speaker 1 36:56

And it's on TV. She's like berating him. How is that okay, these people?

Speaker 2 37:04

What else are we watching?

Speaker 1 37:05

We're watching Love Island, of course. But, we've finished all of Love Island seasons that now we're on season three yeah, Season three. They were smoking, they were smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 2 37:20

The house is trashed. There's like beer cans all over the place, like the. It's uh, far more gratuitous at moments than any of the newer seasons. Like they are, yeah, they it's they tightened up they really tightened up, like they classed it up I remember watching briefly the first season and being like this is a completely different show.

Speaker 1 37:40

This is not the same show we've been watching. Go back in time and just see Watching in reverse is hilarious.

Speaker 2 37:45

It's like watching somebody that used to have it really together slowly fall apart over time and get into drugs and alcohol?

Speaker 1 37:52

No, but them smoking butts and being like hey, do you want to talk to that bird? They're like, and they're just like smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 2 38:02

No, it is uh, a completely different show. Like the producers, I gotta give them credit because they they mix it up and play with the format on that show throughout the season so much and do it in such a way that just improves it every time, like even with the the different things that they bring in as far as like elements in terms of, like movie night and the award show, yeah, like they find different ways to make it better without leaning into here's a bunch of hot people doing hot people stuff, right, right, they could lean into like the gratuitous stuff, but they've actually done the opposite and moved further away from it.

Speaker 1 38:35

Yeah, they classed it up.

Speaker 2 38:36

And made it a better show.

Speaker 1 38:37

Yeah so like the producers on that show are kind of genius when it comes to, we need like a reality show about the production of Love Island.

Speaker 2 38:44

They're sort of genius on that show in terms of how they manipulate the situations but also make it so entertaining without going, tony and I talk about what, if we were like a couple on Love Island, like Tony and I, would be so antisocial.

Speaker 1 39:01

We would like get together probably on the first day and we'd probably be exclusive after day two and we would just sit on the day bed and just gossip.

Speaker 2 39:08

Yeah, the producers would come in and make some game that forced us apart, or some crap like that, and then, yeah, they would screw with us for sure.

Speaker 1 39:20

We wouldn't let them because we're in love. On that note, right, I hope you got something out of this, because I don't know if you did.

Speaker 2 39:30

I can't wait to try and summarize this show. I don't have no idea what to call it or what it was like we're supposed to be helping people. Well, Well, maybe it helps to see some of the bullshit in somebody else and be like okay.

Speaker 1 39:46

Listen, we're all human. I'm going to try to get my shit together. I'm working on it, you're going to you always do. Right now I'm going to go put some pajamas on and make my tea and go to sleep. Do it. Thanks for listening. Bye, bye, thank you.