Welcome to The Extraordinary Everyday Podcast, where women come to be inspired, motivated, and empowered to become the best version of themselves and elevate the quality of their everyday lives. In Episode 51, host Wendy Johnson opens up about her struggles during a time of grief and shares invaluable tools to navigate through stressful times.
Join Wendy as she delves into the five transformative tools that have helped her find stability and solace amidst emotional storms. From grounding techniques to acts of kindness, each tool offers practical guidance for cultivating resilience and finding peace in adversity.
Through heartfelt anecdotes and insightful reflections, Wendy demonstrates how these tools can empower listeners to embrace their emotions, reconnect with their values, and navigate life's challenges with grace and compassion.
Tune in to discover how you can implement these powerful tools in your own life and embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Don't miss out on this episode filled with wisdom, inspiration, and heartfelt encouragement.
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I'm a certified life coach for women who want to take their 'good' lives and make them extraordinary with personal development and life coaching tools. If you are going to find your passion, increase your self-confidence, make more money, strengthen your relationships, build your business, and do it with less struggle and frustration then you're in the right place. My programs are for busy women who want to feel better and live well in their everyday lives.
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Five Tools to Implement for Stressful Times
[00:00:00] You're listening to The Extraordinary Everyday Podcast with Wendy Johnson, episode number 51. Welcome to The Extraordinary Everyday Podcast, where women come to be inspired and motivated to become the best version of themselves and elevate the quality of their everyday. Now, here's your host, certified life coach, Wendy Johnson.
[00:00:26] Hello, beautiful friends. How are you doing today? I'm doing good. I have been struggling this week. I am grieving. I have a dear aunt who went into hospice yesterday and is ready to die. We said our goodbyes and I'm having an emotional storm not sleeping well and thinking a lot about my past with her and I'm not ready to let her go.
[00:00:57] And there's something that I taught several years ago. I want to bring it back out and share it with you. So in today's episode, I want to talk to you about five tools to implement during stressful times. And I think it's important we do what matters in times of stress when our emotions are high and our mental thinking is overloaded.
[00:01:30] Many people try to get rid of difficult thoughts and feelings, and that can make life worse. Distracting yourself from the reality of your feelings and thoughts and not sitting with them and learning from them. When you introduce these five tools to practice every day, they will make your life better, especially when you have difficult thoughts and feelings.
[00:01:59] And the first tool I want to talk about is grounding. And this is where you notice what you're thinking and what you're feeling. You slow down and connect with your body by slowly grounding and pushing your feet into the floor or the earth and you're stretching and lengthening your body and you're taking deep breaths.
[00:02:27] You're coming back to the present and you're refocusing and engaging in the world around you. Oftentimes we go into our world and we're not fully present with what's happening around us. You want to observe what you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Pay attention with curiosity to what's right in front of you.
[00:02:57] Notice where you are, who is with you, and what you're doing. Ask yourself, what can you see, what can you hear, what can you touch, what can you taste? What can you smell grounding is especially useful during stressful situations or emotional storms. You can practice grounding when you simply have one to two minutes available, like when you're waiting for something, or before, or an activity, you do every day, you can practice grounding, like washing, eating, cooking, or sleeping.
[00:03:37] If you practice during these times. You find that boring activities become more enjoyable, you're slowing down, and it will be easier to use grounding when you are in stressful situations. Now let's go on to the second tool, unhooking. And there are three steps to unhooking. The first step is to notice that a difficult thought or feeling has hooked you.
[00:04:08] Realize that you're distracted by a difficult thought or feeling. And notice it with curiosity. You're not pushing it away. You're allowing it to be, but noticing it. And then silently name the difficult thought or feeling. For example, I'll give you some examples of thoughts. Here is a difficult feeling.
[00:04:32] Here is tightness in my chest. Here is a feeling of sadness. Here is a difficult thought about the past. I notice here is a difficult thought. I notice there are fears about the future. For me, this has been helpful this week because I've had the same thoughts in my head going over and over that I can't be without this person, I need this person, And how will I go on without this person?
[00:05:10] And so noticing those thoughts and knowing where the feeling resonates in the body is helpful. And then the third step is to refocus on what you're doing. Pay full attention to whoever is with you and whatever you are doing. You may not notice when you're stressed, you're forgetting things. I noticed I had left food in the microwave a couple of times and forgot I'd even put it in there.
[00:05:41] Last night we had an event to go to, an event but it wasn't last night, it's tonight. So I'm very scattered. I'm not present. And this will help. This will help me unhook and become present. It will help you as well, whenever you have stressful situations. The third tool is to act on your values. Choose values that are most important to you.
[00:06:14] You're being kind and caring to all those around you, and you're being kind and caring to yourself. You're being helpful, you're being brave, and you're being hardworking. You get to decide which values are the most important to you, so you're going back to your values and not abandoning them. And pick one small way that you can act according to these values in the next week.
[00:06:44] I've made a choice. I'm helping an elderly neighbor next Monday go to get her cataract surgery and I have another neighbor I'm going to call on when she comes home from the hospital tomorrow and do something nice for her. And I'm getting out of my way out of my head and I'm using my values to continue to move forward.
[00:07:12] Remember that there are three approaches to any difficult situation. You can leave it and avoid it distract yourself and buffer yourself with food and alcohol. Or you can change what can be changed. You can accept the pain that cannot be changed. And you can live by your values. The third approach is to give up and move away from your values.
[00:07:41] And do something that you may later regret. And the fourth tool is being kind. Be kind. Notice the pain in yourself and others. And respond with kindness. Thanks. Reaching out to others who are also feeling the same pain. You're not the only one in the world who is going through pain. Unhook from unkind thoughts by noticing and naming them.
[00:08:11] And then trying to speak to yourself kindly. If you're kind to yourself, you will have more energy to help others and more motivation to be kind to others. So everyone benefits and you can also take one of your hands and open it and imagine filling it with kindness. Place this hand gently somewhere on your body, let's say your heart where you feel the pain or maybe it's in your stomach.
[00:08:41] Feel the warmth flowing from your hand into your body and see if you can be kind to yourself through your hand. You're holding the pain kindly and gently. And the fifth tool is making room. Rather than trying to push away difficult thoughts and feelings, often doesn't work. So instead make room for them.
[00:09:08] If you have to clear your schedule and give yourself time to make room, this is what you have to do. And there are three things you want to do to make room. The first one is to notice the difficult thought or feeling with curiosity. Focus your attention on it. Imagine the painful feeling as an object and notice its size, shape, color, and temperature.
[00:09:34] I have a difficult time doing this one because It takes practice, and I'm not vividly seeing the pain, but that's something you can work on. You can describe it. The second way is to name the thought or feeling. For example, here is a difficult feeling. Here is a difficult thought about the past. I notice there is sadness.
[00:09:58] I notice here is a thought that I'm weak, I'm tired. And the third way is to allow the painful feeling or thought to come and go like the weather. As you breathe, imagine your breath blowing into and around your pain to make room for it. Instead of fighting with the thought or feeling, allow it to move through you, just like the weather moves through the sky.
[00:10:25] If you're not fighting with the weather, then you will have more time and energy to engage with the world around you and do things that are important to you. This is not when you want to become busier and distract yourself. This is when you want to have more silence and more slowness in your life.
[00:10:49] Friends, this is it for today. I hope you will be able to use these tools now and in the future whenever you're going through a difficult situation or emotional storm and I appreciate you being here listening. It matters so much to me and I look forward to being with you next week. Take care. I love you.
[00:11:14] Bye. Bye. Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out More You, my community of like-minded women. We show up to create the highest version of ourselves and elevate the quality of our every day along the way. Head over to Ontraclifecoaching.com forward slash join. That's O-N-T-R-A-C life coaching.com/join. I'd love to see you in there, and if you haven't grabbed your copy of the Mindset makeover, head over to Ontraclifecoaching.com/makeover and get a copy that teaches and inspires you to show up as your most extraordinary self.
