The Extraordinary Everyday
The Extraordinary Everyday
Embracing Self-Love: A Guide to Cultivating More Love and Personal Growth
Embrace the transformative journey of self-love with me, Wendy Johnson, where we delve into the vital process of nurturing our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Have you ever wondered how to turn down the volume of that pesky inner critic or why accepting a simple compliment feels like swallowing a boulder? We tackle these questions and more, with insights from the esteemed Dr. Sabrina Romanoff. As we sift through the seven crucial areas of self-love, from self-awareness to acceptance, you'll learn not just to survive, but to thrive by setting boundaries, honoring your needs, and yes, even celebrating your imperfections as milestones of growth. Grab that cozy mug of tea, and let's unwrap the gift of self-love together.
This episode is a sanctuary for those seeking to infuse their daily grind with heartfelt self-expression and trust. I share personal anecdotes and practical steps towards cultivating a deeper connection with oneself through mindful practices and personal check-ins. We illuminate the path to a life where happiness isn't just a fleeting guest but a cherished companion. Join our community, More You, where like-minded women gather to elevate their journey to becoming their best selves. And for an extra sprinkle of motivation, grab a copy of 'The Mindset Makeover' to inspire your transformation. Remember, self-love isn't just a destination—it's a daily adventure, and I'm here to guide you every sip of the way.
Quote: "How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you." ~ Rupi Kaur
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About Wendy Johnson:
I'm a certified life coach for women who want to take their 'good' lives and make them extraordinary with personal development and life coaching tools. If you are going to find your passion, increase your self-confidence, make more money, strengthen your relationships, build your business, and do it with less struggle and frustration then you're in the right place. My programs are for busy women who want to feel better and live well in their everyday lives.
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You're listening to the Extraordinary Every Day podcast with Wendy Johnson, episode number 43.
Speaker 3:Welcome to the Extraordinary Every Day podcast, where women come to be inspired and motivated to become the best version of themselves and elevate the quality of their every day. Now here's your host, certified life coach, Wendy Johnson.
Speaker 1:Hello, beautiful friends, how are?
Speaker 1:you doing today? I'm having a great week. It's cold and rainy and I am inside just trying to stay warm. My fingers are freezing. I've got my warmest socks on my warmest sweater and I hear the heat running again. And I've got this hot mug of peppermint tea that I've been keeping my hands on until I've warmed them up. We don't get this kind of weather very often, and when we do, it's hard for me to keep my body warm.
Speaker 1:But let's stay on topic with today. What I want to talk to you about is self-love and five ways to love yourself more. Today I found a quote that I love, and it's by Rupi Carr. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. And what does it mean to love yourself?
Speaker 1:Self-love sounds like it should come naturally, but most of us find it's difficult and we struggle to love ourselves. And what self-love is? It's a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions to support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. And self-love is a verb, it's a compass that directs behaviors and actions towards yourself and what you need in each changing moment and situation. And that last line I read is from a licensed psychologist named Dr Sabrina Romanoff. Let me repeat it, self-love is a verb, not a noun. Think of self-love as a compass that directs behaviors and actions towards yourself and what you need.
Speaker 1:In each changing moment and situation, signs of lack of self-love can show up in different ways. You may find it hard to silence your inner critic and find yourself overwhelmed with criticism, and this can be something that you started years ago and you've been saying to yourself on repeat, and maybe you don't even hear it. Or maybe you're the person that ignores your own needs and takes care of others. First you take care of others and then, if there's time, you'll take care of yourself. And this is another one having difficulty with accepting compliment. Have you ever complimented a friend or relative and they didn't accept the compliment and they had something to say about something that was wrong with them? Whatever the case may be, for you it's worth pursuing self-love slowly over time and growing to love your own company and becoming your own best friend. And this is a practice. It's something you have to do daily and it takes time, commitment and daily habits to cultivate.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people think that they can put it off, for a while going through a season of their life and they'll pick up the self-love later, when they have time. They're too busy in their jobs or too busy with their caregiving, whether it's their own children or their elder parents. Self-love is important because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for how you're doing everything in life, from how you relate to others, how you handle challenges and how you celebrate yourself. And I want to mention seven areas that you can practice self-love in. And the first one is self-awareness understanding your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. The second area is self-expression being true to who you are in all areas of your life. And the third area is self-care taking care of your body and mind. And the fourth area is self-trust believing in your ability to handle life's ups and downs. And the fifth area, self-compassion Be kind to yourself, especially when you're going through a tough situation. And the sixth area, self-respect Honor your worth by setting boundaries. And the last and seventh area is self-acceptance Embrace who you are, including the parts you don't find perfect.
Speaker 1:Self-love can be challenging, especially when we've spent years being hurt on ourselves. It means we're not settling for less than we deserve and it means we have a high regard for our own happiness and well-being. And it means taking care of our own well-being and not sacrificing our self for others. And it's a constant choice. It just doesn't magically happen. Self-love is daily acts of love towards oneself. So I want to focus on five ways to practice self-love, and the first one is to build your awareness.
Speaker 1:Starting on the path of self-love begins with self-awareness, and I want to give you three ways to practice self-awareness. The first one is practicing mindfulness being aware of the thoughts passing through your head and how your body is feeling inside. Taking time to scan your body. When I practice mindfulness, I know what I'm thinking, what I want and how I'm feeling. So this is a time commitment that you have to set aside every day, especially when you're busy, especially during the holiday. And the second way you could practice self-awareness is to let go of what no longer serves you. Letting go of old relationships Just because you've known somebody for your entire life doesn't mean that they're healthy for you and that you need to keep the relationship intact. Also, habits Are there habits that you were able to get away with and practice when you were younger? I know they're no longer good for you. You want to give up those habits and relationships that no longer contribute to your growth or happiness. And the third way is to do regular check-ins, and these are reflections daily reflections, monthly reflections, yearly reflections where you're reflecting on your feelings, you're asking yourself deep questions, you're looking at your goals and the progress that you're making. I think self-awareness is the basis for creating this self-love in your life.
Speaker 1:And the second way to practice is to discover your own self-expression. We're all here to express ourselves. This is through our work, through our art writing, sculpting, drawing, knitting, sewing. Doing things creatively can be a form of self-love and you're allowing your creativity to flow out of you rather than consuming and taking things in. Another way is to journal. Writing your thoughts, feelings and experiences on paper is a helpful step to falling in love with who you truly are and accepting where you are right now.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite ways to discover my own self-expression is to take myself out on solo outings. I've solo traveled. I take myself out for solo outings and I make it a goal to do this every week. You learn to enjoy your own company and do things that bring you joy. You can go to dinner or a movie by yourself. You don't have to wait for somebody else to go with you or to find somebody else. Just go ahead and take that time. I find it to be extremely beneficial. I always come back to my relationships and to the life I'm living when I've come back from a solo trip or a solo outing.
Speaker 1:And the third way to practice self-love is to embrace self-trust. It's hard to live with yourself if you don't trust yourself. Believe you have the ability to make the correct decisions in your life, even when things don't go as planned. Know that you can learn and grow from that experience. And to do this you have to have a growth mindset. You have to view challenges as opportunities, as growth, and not view them as negative obstacles. It's okay to not get it right. You're going to learn and then you can try something else.
Speaker 1:And to embrace self-trust means to practice patience. Trusting yourself takes time. You have to be patient with yourself as you learn what self-love means to you. You want to monitor yourself. Talk. Are you harsh or unforgiving? Do you speak about yourself in a poor way? Rather than talk negatively to yourself, be positive and empowering with the words that you speak to yourself. One indication that you're not speaking well to yourself is how you're treating others? Are you demanding and judging others? Are you requiring that they forgive you? Are you requiring that they be a certain way? This is being self-critical and harsh, not only to yourself, but to the people around you.
Speaker 1:And the fourth way to practice self-love is to strengthen your self-respect. The main way to do this is to honor your commitments to yourself. When you make promises to yourself, you have to keep them. This is enhancing self-love and showing yourself that you're a priority and that you matter. For years, I would tell myself I'm going to do something and then I never did it and I kept seeing it over and over and over, and it was procrastinating On the things that truly mattered to me. This is very common to the women I work with that they tell themselves they're going to do something and they don't do it. Something else comes up, or they don't feel like it, or they think they could just do it tomorrow.
Speaker 1:But you begin to lose your self-respect when you don't honor yourself, and then you want to cultivate your self-worth by acknowledging your worth and capabilities. Worthiness is defined as something that is important and deserves recognition, and having self-worth drives this positive action and belief in oneself and is a form of self-love. Know that you're worthy of everything you want. Also, you want to set boundaries. Give yourself permission to say no to things. How many times have you said no to something and then felt guilty about it? Or others didn't accept your no and tried talking you into doing something that you never wanted to do and you gave in? You want to say no to those things and stand your ground, and you want to say no to people that drain your energy. Setting boundaries is a form of self-love. It shows the world around you that you give yourself what you need and what you want, and you're not caving into what other people want you to do.
Speaker 1:And the fifth way to practice self-love and this is the last way is to embrace self-acceptance. Be loving and accepting of yourself as you move along your path in life. Acknowledge and embrace your imperfections, especially as you age. Love every inch of yourself, even those parts of you that you want to improve, and learn to laugh with yourself. Have a lighthearted approach with yourself in life, especially when you're in challenges. You can meet them with more ease and less strain. My aunt has been going through cancer for several years now, and what I love most about her is how lighthearted she is and how she can still find humor and love. Going through all the difficult medical procedures and treatment, she still can laugh.
Speaker 1:And to embrace self-acceptance you have to make space for your emotions. You can't hide from them or try to get rid of them because you don't like them and yeah, we don't like some emotion. But if we have those emotions there must be a good reason and we have to feel that emotion to move out of it and let go of it and release it. It's always going to be there if we don't allow ourselves to feel it, because they're natural. So we don't want to busy yourself or ignore them, because that can be detrimental to your health.
Speaker 1:Let's recap the five ways to practice self-love. Number one build your awareness. Number two discover your own self-expression. Number three embrace self-trust. Number four strengthen your self-respect. Number five embrace self-acceptance. When I give myself self-love daily, I'm eating well, I'm sleeping deeply, I'm moving my body every day, I'm making time to go to all my medical wellness checks, I talk to myself with love, I trust myself, I'm true to myself, even if I'm disappointing another.
Speaker 1:Self-love can be challenging, especially when we've spent years being hard on ourselves. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve. And self-love means having a high regard for your own happiness and well-being. It means taking care of yourself and not sacrificing yourself to please others. It's a constant choice. It just doesn't magically happen. It's a daily act of love towards oneself. I hope, in this month of love leading into Valentine's Day, that you can incorporate even more practices of self-love, something you can build upon and make more time for. I guarantee you that your relationships will be better, your days be more joyful, you will have more energy and creativity, you won't be such a harsh judge to others and you'll be less critical of yourself. I hope you all have a beautiful rest of your week and I'll talk to you next week. Take care, friends. Bye-bye.
Speaker 2:Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out More. You, my community of like-minded women. We show up to create the highest version of ourselves and elevate the quality of our everyday. Along the way. Head over to ontracklifecoachingcom forward, slash, join. That's O-N-T-R-A-C lifecoachingcom forward, slash, join. I'd love to see you in there. And if you haven't grabbed your copy of the mindset makeover, head over to ontracklifecoachingcom forward slash makeover and get a copy that teaches and inspires you to show up as your most extraordinary self.