Walk Diva Walk
Walk Diva Walk
EP 25: Foster Your Inner Diva with the Real (for personal branding)
What if you could leverage the power of your authenticity to create a personal brand that attracts the right opportunities and connections?In this episode I show you how to build a personal brand. It is full of insights and practical tips specifically produced for black women navigating the professional and entrepreneurial space.
We'll unlock the door to maintaining authenticity in our businesses, sharing personal stories and examples that testify to the power of staying true to oneself. We're not just scratching the surface; we are going deep. Your brand is an extension of your values, and as black women, it's essential we stay true to the Diva within. You're not alone on this journey, and the work is just beginning.
Hey y'all. Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary L Boy, the reposition specialist. You are listening to the Walk Deva Walk podcast. This podcast is for you, the woman, specifically the black woman, who's had enough. Enough of saying no to your kids because you can't afford it. How about robbing Peter to pay Paul, working two or three jobs just to make ends meet? Enough of running from your God-given purpose and enough of just being sick and tired of being sick and tired. On this journey. With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your past, face your present and walk into your God-given, purposed future, so you can support your family the way that you desire, live in abundance and overflow. Live birth to that God-given purpose, giving birth to your dreams and desires. How about travel and experience the world in ways that you and your family will never forget? Have joy and peace so you can live. Are you ready? Let's walk.
Speaker 1:Hey Deva, hey, you know I was sitting here thinking about the women that I help and their brand, and I've realized that a lot of you all don't even know that you actually have a brand. Your brand is really who you are and how you show up. So my question is are you showing up as who you want to be, who you really are, or are you faking the funk? Do you have imposter syndrome? Are you trying to copy somebody? You know that's that old saying it's all right to copy cat, as long as you copy the right cat. Why would I want to be a copy of any cat? Why wouldn't I want to be my authentic self? And so you know, a girlfriend and I were actually having a conversation about this exact thing two days ago, about how we see people online and they're showing up with bonnets in their heads and pajamas on and like, and they're trying to teach you something or get you to buy something that has nothing to do with that. Now, that could be okay if what they're building like who was it? Tracy Roman, who had the bonnet chronicles? Well, that was what she was building. It was the bonnet chronicles. So she showed up all the time in a bonnet.
Speaker 1:But when you go to the grocery store and you got on pajama pants and house slippers and a bonnet in your head, like is anybody really going to take you seriously? You don't even know who you are going to meet. I remember a story about a gentleman that actually went to the grocery store. They were in the meet-out and another gentleman came over and they were just talking and the gentleman one of the gentlemen was actually the founder of Crocs. And this conversation happened and a relationship was developed because the other gentleman showed up and he didn't have the freshest, necessarily, haircut, the latest branded jeans, the flyest shirt, the coolest sneaks, but he just showed up and I want to tell you, ladies, that your brand is not the hair you weave into your head, it's not the nails that you're getting done, it's not the car that you are driving, it's not the house that you are living in. That's not your brand.
Speaker 1:And social media will have you thinking that you have to have all of that, to have any type of brand, that you have to wear all of the latest gear, that you have to have the most expensive human hair, that you have to have on the latest J's or Loo Boo's or Chanel's or Michael Kors. The outfit has to be all together and you got to drive the latest car, like that is not a brand, it is not because, number one, none of that is going to bring value to who you are. You have to know who you are and be willing to show up as your authentic self, now, we know that. Okay, as your authentic self, right? So would you wear a ball dress to work? Right, there are clothes that are specific for specific situations. You wear a bathing suit to the beach. You wear a ball gown to an elegant event and, based on your job that you have, you wear a business suit if that's what they require. Or you could wear jeans and a shirt if that's what you, if that is what they require.
Speaker 1:Have you ever thought about I'm going to take a sip of water here, because y'all, we're going to get into this. Oh my, I hope you ready, because I'm going to debunk, okay, the myth that you have to show up branded from head to toe. And when I say branded, I'm not talking about a brand, I'm talking about branded, the name, brand hair. You know all the makeup, the mac and the luminous and all the other makeup that's out there that you have to have on, the freshest gear and the latest shoes. You showing up branded. But does that? Is that really your brand? See, a brand is who you are authentically.
Speaker 1:If you are a jeans and t-shirt type of girl, then show up in jeans and t-shirt. Now, they'll have your t-shirt wrinkled right and holes are in it and looking all worn and tethered, right? You don't need jeans that are not designer faded but they are old faded, and you're showing up with shoes that have no heels and all of that kind of stuff, right, I'm talking about showing up to be and attract the attention of who you need to attract. So I'm gonna break this down, okay, into three parts. First part is your corporate brand. If you will, you work a nine to five, right? Your nine to five requires you to, and nowadays, be business casual.
Speaker 1:Business casual that doesn't mean that you have to show up again, just all thrown together, like you rolled out a bed and said, oh, I'm just gonna throw this on and go to work. Yeah, you might be business casual, but if you're ever looking to climb the corporate ladder and be noticed, you want to be noticed for the right things. And again, they're not looking at your hair and your nails, but they're looking at are you put together? You ever seen somebody, literally a woman, with a nice pair of jeans, a nice t-shirt and some stilettos or some nice wedges or even a pair of boots, and her hair is just done right, and she doesn't even have to have a makeup. She may not be one that wears makeup, but she's put together and you look at her and like, wow, she looked really nice, that's a brand, right? You don't have to wear the three-piece suits, right, the two pieces, all the jewelry and everything to show up and show people who you are, first that you're noticed. It's just small things that you can do to highlight who you are, naturally, right.
Speaker 1:It's funny because I iron my t-shirts, and I mean just the regular t-shirts. We coach football, right, my husband coach football and they used to team mom and of course we have all of the Raleigh and roster shirts and the supportive gear. And most people will just be like, oh, I'm gonna grab a t-shirt on and go out to the game. I have. I pull my t-shirt if there's a wrinkle in it. It's ironed. And my husband used to look at me and say, why are you ironing that t-shirt? Cause he would go out, wrinkle and tell you all he would. Why are you ironing that t-shirt? We're just going to the game, okay, and I don't wear wrinkle clothes.
Speaker 1:That's just not who I am. I don't care what piece of clothing that it is, whether it's a t-shirt, a pair of pants, some shorts, leggings, whatever, it doesn't matter. I don't wear wrinkled clothes. That's a part of my brand. And you may not think a brand that way, like not wearing wrinkle clothes is a part of the brand. Yep, not wearing wrinkle clothes is a part of my brand. That is just not who I am and I'm not trying to be anybody else.
Speaker 1:And when a lot of people think a brand they look at and try to mimic or become somebody that they're not, who wants to do that? Nobody wants to become anybody that they are not. Like that's just totally ridiculous. Cause you got to work too hard and edit, then you got to pretend like you're comfortable in that, right. And so if I were to put on a wrinkle t-shirt and I'm going to hang out, my whole mind would be on my t-shirt wrinkle. I'd be doing like this and I'd be doing this and I would just feel so uncomfortable because I'm not trying to impress anybody. People probably don't even care that my t-shirt is wrinkle, but I do because it's a part of who I am and that's my brand.
Speaker 1:So when you show up in the workplace, I'm going to start with the workplace. When you show up in the workplace, show up and let them know that you mean business, that you care about how you look and that you carry your brand, whatever that is. If you are a, I don't care. If they do have or say it's business casual. I'm a suit type of girl. I'm going to dress up. I'm going to wear my stilettos. I have a couple of friends like that. I'm telling you I love them. I be looking at them sideways, but they love their stilettos, right and so. But that's who they are. So in corporate, they're going to dress up and other people may look at them crazy. Like they said, it's dress down, we can wear jeans or whatever.
Speaker 1:Why do you keep coming in here with this suit, on this skirt set, on this silk, on this linen on and stilettos and you face laid and hair fried, dyed and laid to the side and nails on fleek, as they say? They probably don't say fleek them a lot, no, but nails on fleek, right, and everybody else walking around with jeans and a T-shirt or slacks, in a shirt or whatever. And the response to that is why you worried about it. This is what I like. I like to dress up. Therefore, I'm going to dress up. I'm going to show up the way I like to show up respectfully I want to add that in there too respectfully. Okay, I'm going to show up the way I'm supposed, that I like to show up at work. This is an option for me and this is who I am.
Speaker 1:So don't be scared in the corporate world to show up as yourself, but put together alright, and I promise you, if you want to climb the corporate ladder, they're going to notice you. They're going to say, oh Mary's always put together. No, I may not end, because that's not me, that used to be me a while ago and your brand sometimes changes as you get older and grow. Because when I tell you I used to love a heel and now if I don't ever have to put on one, I won't, okay, but that's me, that's who I am. So your style and everything may change, but they will notice that you always show up, you are always put together, you're clean, whatever you have on. If it's jeans, they're nice jeans. If it's a t-shirt, it's a nice t-shirt. It is ironed right, it is all together. You know they like huh. Her hair is always done, and I don't mean done necessarily. Like done can be a ponytail, but it's a neat ponytail. It's combed back, you got a little scrunchie on it and it's together with what you have on.
Speaker 1:So know who you are and what you like and not try to copy what you see on social media. Don't try to copy what you see on social media. Be who you are, because you are always going to be with you and nobody wants to be uncomfortable being with themselves, right? So now I'm going to take you to the business world. Now, this is the funniest place to be, because and I'm going to hang out in social media for a little while because that's where a lot of people see they see the fashions, they see the influencers. You know the entrepreneurs that supposedly making a gazillion dollars. They see them in the 25,000 square foot home and, you know, in the 12 cars in the driveway and wearing all of the latest everything. They're filming themselves going shopping with all the bags. You know they filming themselves. Just, you know, walking down the street strutting and switching that like all of that right.
Speaker 1:And so here you are, wanting to be in this entrepreneurial space. You have ideas, you have products that you want to launch. You have services that you want to give. You want to be in your wealthy place. You want to make seven figures. You even want to get to eight figures. But you're looking at them like, if I have to do that, I don't think I'm ever going to get there. And then you're like, well, let me try, because it seems like they the one that got 65 million followers and this is how they show up.
Speaker 1:So you try it and you put on all the makeup, you get all the hair, you have 10 inch nails, you have wet and spent money. It's not even an investment. You have spent money on all the latest gear and you know I can't even tell you all what all the latest is, because I don't keep up with it. That is not my brand. I don't care about name brands, right. If I like it, I buy it. It doesn't matter who it's by, right, I believe in quality, but I'm not into all the different name brands. I can't even tell you the name brands, right.
Speaker 1:But you go and spend money on all of the latest name brands the Tom Ford's, the Ann Clyde's, the Chanel's, all the people and then you put it all on trying to be somebody that you're not, because you think that's what it takes to make the money that you want to make and you find that you're miserable, that you can't even really stand looking at yourself in the mirror because you're looking at a complete stranger. You then are now trying to convince somebody else that this is the way, and you don't believe in it. So now you are pontificating the truth, right? You're telling a lie, right? And you sit in this space for so long that it becomes a lie that you live and you find yourself you can't get out of it, or you think you can't get out of it, and so you end up sitting in this space thinking that you're building a brand, thinking that your brand is all of this external pieces that you're putting on your body, and your brand is actually who you are inside, and who you are inside then comes out on the outside, and so this isn't you.
Speaker 1:You're not wearing the booty shorts. That's not who you are. You're not wearing the skin tight dresses that come up to your hoo-ha and if you bend over, it's all shown to the world. That's not who you are. You're not putting on and wearing four inch and six inch heels every single day trying to walk, and when you walk, people even know that you don't even wear shoes like that because you look real crazy, like y'all have seen it. Y'all have seen the women that got on four inch, six inch heels walking and you like, oh, they're feet killing them. They're about to tip over, because it's not even who they are. That's why they don't know how to walk in it.
Speaker 1:Ladies, what I'm telling you is know who you are on the inside and be comfortable with that. If you want to wear your hair purple, green and orange all at one time and that's who you are For real, it's not a gimmick, it's not something that you are trying to just draw people in, but it's really who you are, that's what you like Then wear it, because I promise you, when you wear your inside on the outside, the right people that are supposed to notice you are going to notice you. The people that are supposed to do business with you are going to do business with you. The people that you are supposed to partner with you will partner with. I am with me 24 seven. I can't be nobody else but me. I say this all the time and I keep repeating it because I know that you all need to hear it, that you have to be you, because there's only one you Right, and I'll use makeup.
Speaker 1:I am not a huge makeup wear. I do not wear makeup every day of the week, 365 days of the year. I don't, I like it sometimes and sometimes I don't want to put it on. But whether I wear makeup or not, I'm still in my brand, my natural look, with a little mascara, lipstick and my brows etched in. And that's only because I'm getting old and I think I'm losing hair up there y'all. So I got to put a little extra on there because I can't be browless now. All right, so that's me naturally and it's my brand. It look good and at any given day.
Speaker 1:If I was walking down the street and I saw somebody and they were like wow, mary, it's wonderful meeting you and I want to know if you can come talk to these group of women for me that I have over here right now in the next five minutes, if you have it, I'll be like sure, I sure can, because I'm always who I am, so I'm always in brand. So when you are doing business, you have to make sure that, because you just never know when opportunity knocks. You know, one of the things I start doing is traveling with my passport, even if I'm traveling in the US, right, and you probably was like, well, why does that matter? Why you just don't travel with your ID license? Because I want to be ready. If I meet somebody and say, and they say, mary, I want to get you on my private jet and we're going to fly over to Dubai for a couple of days, because I want to be like yep, got it, check, I'm ready. I'm ready I can be out of town and meet somebody at a conference, meet somebody in a store. Anything can happen where an opportunity arises. And if I need to go out the country, I don't have time to fly back to Atlanta to get a passport and it's over now. The opportunity has been missed. So I have a saying you stay ready, so you don't have to get ready. And if you always keep that in your mind, let me stay ready, so I don't have to get ready.
Speaker 1:So when you are out and about and you doing business and opportunities and things come up, think about what is it that you need? But what you wear should not be a question, because you should always be who you are 24, seven, and they know who you are. There's a young lady that I follow and she's awesome when it comes to techie stuff and AI and all of that, and she always wears a baseball cap. She wears her hair really long and she always wears a baseball cap and a t-shirt. That's who she is. You're not going to see her in a maxi dress and some heels and earrings and all of that, just on the regular. Now, if she was invited to an event that required that type of attire, of course she would oblige because she would address according to the atmosphere to the event. But naturally that's what you're going to see her in because that's what she's comfortable with and that is her brand.
Speaker 1:So who are you inside? Who are you through and through? What is who you bring out in business, and you will never have anybody question it. So you don't y'all. Let me, let me, let me listen. I got to sit up and look at y'all square in the eye. You do not have to be anybody that you are not. You don't have to mimic anybody. You don't have to try to pretend to be anybody. You don't have to go out here and spend hundreds and thousands of dollars because somebody told you that that's who you are supposed to be. No, it's not. You are who you are. Be who you are, and if you are not sure who you are, then that's something else that we need to address. Be authentically you and you will always be all right. You will always be all right. That's your brand who you are on the inside.
Speaker 1:So we talked about corporate, we talked about business. Now let's talk about relationships. Okay, you know, one of the reasons why I started Walk Women's Network and God just gave me the passion for black women is, I believe, that we have lost our value. We have adopted this concept that we have to show everything that we have in order to get a man to notice us. He's going to notice you, but he's going to notice you for all the wrong reasons and you're going to get caught up in your feelings because you thought that he was noticing you for who you are, and that's not who he's noticing you for.
Speaker 1:You've put on a costume, because that's what it is. You've put on a costume in order to try to impress somebody and get this man to notice you, and it's not even a costume that you can even keep up with. Like. You've gone out here and again. You've bought all the hair. You have all the bundles in your head? Okay, you have, and I love y'all. I do, I love y'all creator style, as my husband would say. You have caterpillars on your eyes, okay. You have the whole entire Mac department on your face Right, and then you have spent $2,000 on an outfit and shoes to go out to a club to meet somebody that you're trying to pull a husband Girl ain't nobody loving you like that, because it's even now who you are. You can't even keep it up. As we used to say back in the day. You faking the funk, okay, you are faking the funk, all right, and eventually you're going to be exhausted trying to keep it up, you're going to be broke trying to keep it up, you're going to be depressed because it's not who you are trying to keep it up, don't men?
Speaker 1:The men that are looking for wives are looking for someone that when they see them, I'm telling y'all. They say, well, my mother approved that it don't matter, I have a son, my son runs them by me all the time. Most men want their mother's approval of who they are taking in and getting serious with and potentially will make their wife, and they don't want nobody that they're going to take to their mama house and their booty out. They're their coochie out. All you see are nipples Like they don't want that. And I don't know why we think they do your stomach out. I mean, you have. I don't, just don't understand.
Speaker 1:And why do you feel you need to do that? In order to be noticed? You know, you know who the real man notices. The woman that's sitting at the club go to the bike, nothing wrong with that. The woman that's sitting at the club with a nice dress on, even if it's fitted, ain't nothing wrong with fitting right. That is not showing her who-ha, right who when she bend over. You don't see the world. That looks classy. Okay, that's what they want. That's what they want, because what happens is if somebody stayed with you long enough the other way, then they're going to start looking at you like why are you wearing that going out? Why you and they're looking at you and questioning you.
Speaker 1:Now you're saying I was like this when you met me. What are you talking about? I thought this is what you like and that's what I liked. That's what you thought I liked then. But that ain't wifey material. I don't want my woman. That I'm calling my woman. You weren't my woman then, so it looked good to me. But now you, my woman, I want my woman looking like that.
Speaker 1:So you grab ahold of your values, ladies, your brand, who you are, and if you know that's not who you are, deal with the issue of why you are doing that, so then you can really become who you are inside, internally. Address those issues so your brand can shine up, your brand, your brand, it's who you are on the inside being worn on the outside. Divas, let's get it. I love y'all. Ain't nothing you can do about it. Come on, let's be who we authentically are. Oh, my goodness, till next time, be blessed, live on purpose and let's walk All right.
Speaker 1:Divas, what an episode. Did I hit you in the head with one of those bricks? Did you go out? Did you have the duck and cover? I know you went running around the house checking for cameras, looking under the bed, looking out the window to see if I was watching, because I was all in your business. I was on your street and in your lane. It's okay, though. It lets you know that you're not alone. I hope that something that you heard resonated with you and, as a result, you are starting to reposition your mind so you can have the life that you want to live. Now, that's not all I have for you guys. Not just what was in the podcast, but now I want to give you a gift. Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincom. Wwwstopdrowningandwincom. To receive the seven steps every Black woman must take this year to break free and live her dreams once and for all. You will also have an opportunity to connect with our community Again. You are not alone. The work is just beginning. Are you ready? Let's walk.