Walk Diva Walk
Walk Diva Walk
EP 36: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: How to Find True Relationships
Imagine a life where you're surrounded by genuine friendships that not only support you but challenge you to be your best self. That's the kind of life I've created and will be sharing with you in this exciting episode. We'll unpack the elements of true friendship, the importance of a strong support system, and the role of self-reflection in growing these connections. We'll also discuss the art of approachability and initiative, which are key to forming relationships that truly enrich our lives.
You might be wondering "What would it be like to get out of my comfort zone and make new connections?" In short- it could revolutionize your life. Don't worry, we'll get to this topic too, guiding you on how to overcome those reclusive habits and attend events that align with your interests. These steps can open doors to life-changing relationships and opportunities. So, let's not just dream, let's take action, connect, and grab the opportunities that come our way. Walk with me as we transform dreams into reality!
Hey y'all. Hey, it's your girl, dr Mary L Boy, the reposition specialist. You are listening to the Walk Deva Walk podcast. This podcast is for you, the woman, specifically the black woman, who's had enough. Enough of saying no to your kids because you can't afford it. How about robbing Peter to pay Paul, working two or three jobs just to make ends meet? Enough of running from your God-given purpose and enough of just being sick and tired of being sick and tired. On this journey. With the Walk Deva Walk podcast, I will help you overcome your past, face your present and walk into your God-given, purposed future, so you can support your family the way that you desire, live in abundance and overflow. Live birth to that God-given purpose, giving birth to your dreams and desires. How about travel and experience the world in ways that you and your family will never forget? Have joy and peace so you can live. Are you ready? Let's walk. Hey Deva, hey, listen, I was sitting here just thinking about friendship and what does it mean to be a friend?
Speaker 1:And how do you even make new friends? A lot of you all are sitting there and you're waiting for somebody to come up to you, somebody to approach you, somebody to befriend you. But the truth of the matter is you have to take the first step. If you want to make friends, if you want to be friends with others, you have to make the first step because, honestly, you can't be in this world without friends. I have a couple of best friends. My first and you probably like Mary how do you have a couple of best friends? Listen, my first best friend is my husband. He is my best friend. A friend is somebody that you can tell the world to and you know they will hold it to their heart and protect you with it. A friend is somebody that you are there for, that you can hold them to your heart and protect it no matter what. A friend is somebody that you can sit in a room with in silence and totally not be uncomfortable and just be in each other's presence, and you love it. That's a friend, and my husband does that for me. A friend knows what you like and go out their way to make you happy in that, even if it's just a cup of coffee. That leads me to my second best friend, my bestie-o. Listen, she can be out and she'll call me or text me and say, hey, I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts. She knows that's my favorite coffee place. You want a cup of coffee? I'm running to the smoothie place. You want a smoothie? Hey, I'm out and about in this place. Yeah, that's a friend that just thinks about you just because, without any strings attached, without wanting anything in return, and I do the same thing for her.
Speaker 1:This is a restaurant that we go to all a lot and my husband and I go to it. We go to it on our couples' date nights and it's called Firebird and they have this creme brulee cheesecake. Oh, it is to die for. And whenever my husband and I go and it's just us two I always get an extra piece to go and I reach out to a y'all home yeah, we home, and we drive by and drop it off Like I got something for down, even though we coming. That's my friend, I know what she likes, right, we just think about each other that way.
Speaker 1:We were on vacation, my husband and I, and she makes jewelry, and they were selling these beads. I think we were in St Lucia, think we were in St Lucia, and they were selling these beads and I immediately FaceTimed her and was like look at these beads, you need any of these, you want any of these, don't? You want a friend like that? And then my third bestie is my coaching mentor. When I tell you she has my heart in her hands, we will text each other at the same time about the same thing. It is crazy and it is hilarious. It's kind of scary to tell you the truth sometimes, right, but you have somebody that cares about you so much and want to see you win in every area of their life and they're not afraid to be like okay, I got to tell you something, and it may not be something you want to hear, it may not be something that you like, but I got to tell you. Right, that's the type of friend you want.
Speaker 1:So how do you make friends like that? First of all, you have to present yourself friendly. Okay, when you are out, if you are out, when you are out, if you are at a gathering and you are staying office, you over in the corner, you're not speaking to anybody. You mean mugging everybody. You looking everybody up and down, you judging everybody. Then who is actually going to approach you to try to have a conversation with you? Right, nobody, because you're unapproachable. So, first of all, you have to be approachable if you're wanting somebody to come to you, but the best thing to do is put yourself out there and introduce yourself to other people, show them who you are, show them your heart.
Speaker 1:And yes, I know, I know that your heart has been broken by people. I know that your trust has been broken by people. I know people have talked about you. You've tried to make friends, for whatever reason. It just seems like it doesn't work out. There's some soul searching that has to be done. There's some internal deep diving that has to be done to even sometimes see okay, self-examination, is it me? That's the first thing that I do in anything. I don't mind self-examining because I know I'm not perfect, I know I'm not always right, I know that I don't know everything about everything. And if situations happen and I feel like they're continuing to happen, I have to sit with it for a minute and say okay, mary, why does this keep happening? What's going on with it? Let me evaluate. What am I putting out Right? How am I coming across? How am I talking to people? What's my demeanor like when people meet me? Do I smile? You ever meet somebody that never smiles? They always look angry. Well, who is going to approach anybody that always look angry.
Speaker 1:Now me, because I am who I am, and if I see you all the time and you not frowning I mean you not smiling and you're frowning all the time, I'm going to ask you a question Are you okay today? Why you always look so sad? Is everything okay? Is it anything that I can do? I may say smile, it is not that bad. I may walk up to you like you look like you need a hug. Let me give you a hug, okay. So that's me. I'm not saying that you have to do all of that, but if you are going to make friends and friends are so important in this journey because you can't do it by yourself If I didn't have my husband, if I didn't have my bestie, if I didn't have my coach, if I didn't have my team, I couldn't be sitting here in front of you today. There's no way that I can do it without you.
Speaker 1:People say that this, you know, this journey of life can be lonely. It's only lonely if you want it to be. It's only lonely if you are secluding yourself. It's only lonely if you are allowing people to dictate, if you're going to have friends. Because the thing that happened in the past that made you become a recluse. Right To become that introvert and who put that label on you anyway? Right To retreat and retract yourself. When you do that, you have given them control. And who are they to control who you are? You said because you did this to me, I'm no longer making friends. How do they have that much power over you? Impossible, they shouldn't, so don't let them.
Speaker 1:So if you're watching this and you're sitting here saying, ouch, why is she stepping on my toes? Why is she all in my business? Why is she all on my street? Listen, it's for you. Get out your own way, put yourself out there. And so what?
Speaker 1:If somebody does something again, you learn from it and you do it again, because nobody should have that much power over you to cause you not to have friends. Nobody, no experience, no past experience, should ever cause you to do that. You are not put on this earth alone. You are not put on this earth to be alone. So stop being alone and go out there and make a friend. Today, it is somebody that needs you. You think you need them, but it is somebody out there that needs you as a friend, because you know how to be one, right? You know how to hold the secret close to your heart. You know how to check on them, just because you know how to do for them, without expecting anything in return, because these are the things that you want for yourself, for yourself, from your friend. So, since you know how to do it, go out there and be it.
Speaker 1:So I challenge you go somewhere in an environment where it's a lot of people and speak to somebody. Go into an environment, go, look. Go to meetupcom People still do meetups now. Go to meetupcom. Go to an event, bright, go to Facebook events and look for something that interests you, because the other thing is, it's great to be friends with somebody that has the same interests as you. So, if you like arts, look for art festival or art gallery that you can go to. If you like music, if you like jazz, look for a jazz festival or a jazz restaurant or club that you can go to and put yourself out there and meet somebody.
Speaker 1:Today, I'm telling you, your life will forever be changed. So I hope this helped you, diva, to get out your way. Not be a recluse, not just go to work, come home, close the door and I don't deal with nobody Right? Don't, don't do that. Let's have friends, let's build relationships, because you never know that relationship and that friendship that you develop can be a million-dollar friendship will be in your corner all the way. You would be amazed. So make a friend today. I love to hear it Make comments on this post. The friend that you have made, I want to talk to you about it. I appreciate you. I love y'all. Ain't nothing you can do about it. We are friends forever, for life. Be blessed y'all. Live on purpose and let's walk All right.
Speaker 1:Divas, what an episode. Did I hit you in the head with one of those bricks? Did you go out? Did you have the ducking cover? I know you weren't running around the house checking for cameras, looking under the bed, looking out the window to see if I was watching, because I was all in your business. I was on your street and in your lane. It's okay, though. It lets you know that you're not alone. I hope that something that you heard resonated with you and, as a result, you are starting to reposition your mind so you can have the life that you want to live Now. That's not all I have for you guys, not just what was in the podcast. But now I want to give you a gift. Go to wwwstopdrowningandwincom wwwstopdrowningandwincom To receive the seven steps every Black woman must take this year to break free and live her dreams once and for all. You will also have an opportunity to connect with our community Again. You are not alone. The work is just beginning. Are you ready? Let's walk.