Episode 169-- Bethany Davis -- On Air and at Home Navigating Life's Complexities

As the dawn breaks and most of the world is still nestled in their beds, Bethany Davis from WSFA 12 News is already lighting up the airwaves, navigating the demands of a career in the media while also keeping the home fires burning. Our conversation with her pulls back the curtain on this high wire act of juggling parenting and professionalism, offering listeners a rare glimpse into the real-life challenges faced by those we often only see through the lens of a camera. Bethany walks us through the tightrope she walks between early morning newscasts and nurturing her ten-year-old, sharing the systems she's devised to ensure his independence and safety, and the occasional pang of 'mom guilt' that shadows even the most seasoned of working parents.

From the legislature's corridors to her own living room, Bethany's tales are a testament to the unexpected ways in which professional exigencies can foster personal growth. She recounts the solitary months covering the legislature, revealing a landscape of relentless dynamics and the potent connections she's made through her role. By taking us along her journey of reporting stories that are as enriching as they are demanding, Bethany spotlights the profound empathy and deeper understanding of the human condition that comes with the job. These experiences have not only shaped Bethany's worldview but have also added an invaluable dimension to the tapestry of her family life, allowing for moments of introspection and the discovery of joy in the little things.

Wrapping up our session, we chuckle over the whimsical wish for supernatural abilities to beat the procrastination beast and be everywhere at once—a sentiment many can relate to in our non-stop world. Our heart-to-heart with Bethany is more than just an exchange of anecdotes; it's an affirmation of the resilience required to thrive at the crossroads of public service and personal fulfillment. Her story is a compelling reminder to cherish the journey, embrace the lessons learned along the way, and to always keep sight of what truly matters—be it breaking the next big story or breaking bread with family.

Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff

Transcript

amy stackhouse: 0:03

I am really excited. Today we have quite a special guest. We have Bethany Davis. Thank you so much for joining us today.

bethany davis: 0:11

I'm really honored that you even invited me. Thank you and thank you for thinking of me.

amy stackhouse: 0:16

Oh, excited. Cannot wait to really introduce you and get started with who you are, and with that we'll go right out of the gate. Bethany, who do people know you, both professionally and personally? Who do they know you as?

bethany davis: 0:31

Oh goodness, Well, that is a letter question.

amy stackhouse: 0:33

It is right out of the gate, isn't it?

bethany davis: 0:35

And I think it's going to depend on who you ask. There's a lot of different answers to that question. I mean, professionally, I worked for Channel 12, wsfa 12 News. I've worked there, if you can believe it, almost 24 years. I'm just a couple of months from my 24th anniversary of setting foot in the building. It is really hard for me to imagine, because I feel like I'm only about 26 or 28 years old. I'm not sure how those years flew by, but I think that the general public probably knows me, you know, from Channel 12, which is great. I love that and I love to see people. But, gosh, you know, as far as my close friends and family, I think people know me as just a mom and who really loves my kiddos and my family and my people. I hope that's what people know me, as I hope that's how people will think of me when they hear my name.

amy stackhouse: 1:34

Well, that takes quite a balance too. We hear people talk about work-life balance, and then I've lately heard people say there's no such thing. So where do you come in on that? Because it does take some coordinating, and I've heard you talk before about some of the crazy of middle of the night working and balancing kids that you've had to do. So where do you weigh in there?

bethany davis: 1:58

Yeah, so I can back up. I'll tell you a little bit about my schedule. It is crazy. I go home. My work hours are technically 3 30 to 12 30, 3 30 am to 12 30 pm, because our newscast starts at 4 30 in the morning and so that's you know what we're required to do. That means my alarm goes off at 2 30 in the morning, which is really ridiculous. It also means that I'm not home in the mornings to see my kids off to school, to make them breakfast or any of that. So that is kind of a tricky. It is a tricky balance and I don't know if the flip side I do get to be home in the afternoon, so I'm already home this afternoon. I'll be home when they walk in the door from the bus stop and I do love that part of the hours. The schedule is hard in the mornings, but the afternoons that I get to be at all the practices and the games, I love, love that part of the schedule.

bethany davis: 3:03

But I'll tell you I haven't always worked this schedule and I got some of the very, very best advice when it comes to the juggle or the balance, as you said from a woman who was in the same industry. She was a vice president of the company that used to own the TV station and she said listen, stop trying to strike the balance. There is no balance. She said there are going to be times when family has to come first. There's going to be time when work has to take a backseat and family has to come first, and that's where you need to be, when you need to be there. There are going to be times when work has to come first, when your family is going to have to take a backseat and your work is going to need your full attention. And stop trying to strike a balance. It's never going to even out perfectly and I'll tell you. She said that I really took that to heart and I stepped back for a little while and I really evaluated some things at home, at work, and realized, goodness gracious, there has never been anything closer to the truth that there are times.

bethany davis: 4:05

Obviously there are times we all want to be there. You know when our kids are sick or you know when a family member has an important moment, we want to be there for that. But there are also times I love my job, I love what I do, and there are times at work that I want to be at work. I want to be involved in the big project, I want to be involved in the news gathering process, and so sometimes I even you know have to say to my family and my kids hey look, we're going to you, know, we're going to send you over to somebody else's house, or we're just going to leave you at home alone sometimes, Because this is where I need to be right now, and I truly do view my job, my position.

bethany davis: 4:45

This is a public service job. We are here to serve the public. There are a lot of people, hundreds of thousands of people, who depend on getting information from us, and I don't take that very lightly at all. That's a serious and an important something to me, and so I do want to make sure that I love these people in this community. So I want to make sure that I'm delivering on my end of the deal that I've committed to be a servant, a servant to the community.

amy stackhouse: 5:16

That is huge and it's changed so much through the years that you've been in it from instead of it just being a walk into one building and put your newscast out from one building, you have had to master a number of mediums. Has that been a struggle or something that you just went wow, this is awesome. Or how have you felt about?

bethany davis: 5:40

that no, professionally, no, I would say. You know, I walked in the door at Channel 12 in the year 2000. It was a TV station and it's the TV station that I grew up watching and that's what I knew that I wanted to do from a really young age and I had really always dreamed of working here not necessarily staying here, but of working here. But I could say, sometime around the 2007, eight, nine years, we really started to make that shift. That's when the internet really started to get big and so we started to make that shift of we're starting to be an online, we're basically a website. First, you know, people were starting to go online instead of turning on the TV to get their information.

bethany davis: 6:32

And I tell you I can't hurt my feelings for a little while I didn't go to work for a website, I couldn't work for a TV station, until I realized that actually I do the same thing. Now I find myself going online to the computer in those days. But you know, now it has switched over to the, to the phone, I find myself picking up my phone on such a regular basis. That's truly that's the first thing I do, you know, when I get up in the morning to see what information I've missed even in the very short amount of hours that I've slept. So I understand now that it's important for us to be to meet the people where they are in order to make sure they get the right information and the information that they need, but there hasn't been an easy transition for me.

bethany davis: 7:19

No, and I struggle. I got to tell you the whole social media aspect of the job. We joke around and say, hey, that's not online, did it even happen? But I still struggle. Although that doesn't come naturally to me, that's not my first thought is to make a social media post. It's not my my first thought to to take a picture. I don't really do selfies and don't get me started on selfies in the bathroom, but I understand that it's important and I understand that that's where people are and if I really they, there's information that they need to know that that's what I need to be to get them there. So that's almost a daily struggle, honestly, for me.

amy stackhouse: 8:04

Yeah well, you've seen a lot of things happen. You've been covering all kinds of news stories and then you have to package it in different ways. Is there something that's your favorite, that you like to do career wise and and actually your career? Even though you might not have meant to stay in the same spot? You've had so many changes in that spot.

bethany davis: 8:28

Yeah, I really have. I've always been on the air. You know, I started, I started working at Channel 12 as a producer in 2000 and I didn't really start to make that switch until around the 2006 2007 year this when I started to get on the air. So in that respect, no, I didn't intend on staying here, but I have seen, you know, changes in that regard.

bethany davis: 8:51

But as far as the things that I've covered, man, I don't know if I could give you a favorite. I mean, there are things that happen every year that I enjoy I enjoy doing every year, but you know, there are also some some really hard moments that that I look back and think, man, you know that's that was a really tough little moment. That was a really tough story, and I'm not talking. I spent one legislative session covering the legislature. I don't know why they assigned that to me. We were without a political reporter in one year. That was the worst. It was only supposed to be three months, but don't you know, they went to a special session, so it was like five months in my life.

amy stackhouse: 9:36

Let's give it all works right.

bethany davis: 9:38

That is not my realm. That is, I felt like I spent the entire five months studying and reading and every time I thought I got caught up on something I went back the next day and they changed it up so I had to come home and study upon it again. But I'll tell you as much as I just really hated it in the moment, goodness gracious, was it good for me. I made so many. Well, first of all, I learned so much. I had government courses so I knew kind of the overview of how government works. But I got to see and be exposed to so much of the inner, behind the scenes workings. That really helped me understand a lot more about the process. But on top of that, you know, I made some really, really great connections and met some really cool people and established some really amazing relationships that I would never have had if I hadn't spent those really long and ridiculous months in that state house. So I can't appreciate some of the some of the hard moments with some of the favorite moments.

bethany davis: 10:40

But listen, I tell my, I tell my photographer I've worked, by the way, with the same photographer for about 10 years now. We've had, we've been partners for a long time. That's the longest I've ever really worked with anybody. But I tell him all the time listen, if we're going to get up this early in the morning, it's going to have to be something fun slash, interesting. Now there are some things we have to cover just because you know you have to. That don't necessarily fall into the fun or interesting thing Categories, but if I'm going to get up this early in the morning, I'm going to be ready and be on TV and at least pretend I have some energy less. At least make it fun, slash, interesting, so we can get through the morning together.

amy stackhouse: 11:18

That's awesome. Well, what kind of lessons come from that to give your kids? I mean just the having to study history. I mean, all of a sudden you're you're kind of back in the classroom sometimes with your job.

bethany davis: 11:31

You know, I, every day I feel like I am. You know, it's an outdoor classroom. That's one of the things I really love about this job is that, goodness gracious, I go somewhere different, I talk to somebody different, I have a different conversation. Generally, I learned something a little, something new every single day and I love that. The other thing and I actually had a conversation about this recently with someone who was looking to enter this business, which I'm not sure I would necessarily recommend it at this point, but this job has exposed me to people and to circumstances and situations that I would have never If I didn't have this job, I would have never come to understand lifestyles, cultures that I have been able to not just look into, but you know what we say a lot of times this, this position, what we do.

bethany davis: 12:33

We meet people in either their highest level in life or their lowest level, their lowest point in life, but that gives us such an insight into places that we would, the normal person never gets to go, and so I have have really come out with such an incredible sense of empathy and understanding. Not that I ever considered myself necessarily a judgmental person, but maybe someone who tends to categorize, tended to categorize people or put them in some you know some boxes, and the more I do this job and the more people I need and the more circumstances and situations that I get to go into and see which I, my eyes are opened on almost a daily basis To the lifestyles and and people that I would have never understood. I would have never been able to know why things were needed when they're needed, and so it has given me just a. I think it's made me a better person. You know, I like to think that it's made me a better reporter.

bethany davis: 13:49

The more stories you tell right, the more you do something, the more practice, the more you learn and the better you get at it. But I think, even personally, the things that I've seen and the people that I've met have made me a better person, and that's the one thing that I like to tell my kids on a regular basis is expose yourself to people who don't live right here. Expose yourself to people who aren't doing the things. Do something that you've never done before so you can get to understand a different side of life, a different aspect of life, because, well, we live a pretty good life. Everybody does, and this isn't all there is. There's so much more out there, and you just become better. I just think you become a better person, somebody that you like yourself a little better, even when you get to expose and experience some of those, some of those other lifestyles and situations.

amy stackhouse: 14:43

I agree, that can be very true. You know, rich can mean so much to us and can mean so many different things. In what way do you feel rich, oh man.

bethany davis: 14:58

I wish, I wish and I don't wish that everybody could know all my people. So, man, I've got some right people. I call them people because my kids aren't really kids anymore. They're all grown up. Youngest is 10, but the next youngest after that is 17. And then 21 and 20, almost 22 and 26 next week, and they are just the coolest. They're just the coolest people, all of them. And I am just, I'm in all of them.

bethany davis: 15:34

And it's funny, as parents you know, we think as we go into parenthood, while the things we're gonna teach them, all the things that our kids are not going to do where they are going to do, holy moly, they're teaching me so much. First of all, I started really early, so I feel like we've all grown up together. There's that. And, man, these kiddos, these people of mine, they just fill me with so much laughter and joy and it's my favorite. It's so hard to have them all together. You know, the older they get and they spread out. But, man, when my house is full of all of my kiddos and the voices, they don't even have to be talking to me, I don't even care if they're looking my direction. It makes my heart so happy and that's when I feel, you know, that's when I just feel like I've just got it all, when I've got all my people.

amy stackhouse: 16:28

So they're in Lyser Wealth, right there, Right there. That's it. Now I heard you at one point talk about your youngest and how tough they are and how they're able, they have a responsibility, they take that responsibility. And can you kind of go down that a little bit, Because I think sometimes as moms, we feel like we have to coddle so much and yet you seem to have given here's what we're doing, here's what we're about and here's your part.

bethany davis: 17:00

Well, let's keep in mind that he's the youngest of five, so by the time we got to him, we just told him don't die.

amy stackhouse: 17:10

You bring him, start the day with five and end the day with five.

bethany davis: 17:12

We're in good shape.

amy stackhouse: 17:16

Sometimes that's the best philosophy you have.

bethany davis: 17:18

And I also just told him just this week. I said please put on your coat. People are gonna think we're bad parents because you walked to the bus stop in 30-something degree weather with no coat. Please wear it. He has a great coat, it's a nice coat, it's very warm. He refuses to wear it. However, he is man, he is incredible. I can't brag enough about him. He is incredible. He's 10 years old.

bethany davis: 17:44

There was a time, because he was so young, when I went back to working this morning shift, which was about 10 years ago, he was really little. I can't remember exactly how old he was, but baby enough to be putting in a crib and my mom thank goodness for her said sure, you can bring him over and we'll get him off to preschool, daycare, preschool school. So that's what I did. I picked him up every morning at 3.30 in the morning, I put him in the car, I snuck him into my mom's house and put him in the crib and I snuck out to work. And that worked for a long time really, until the pandemic. Well, the pandemic hit and the station sent us home to work from home. That's a whole other story. He was during school from home. We got tired of it. We sold the house. We're not taking these cameras with us, you can come get them or they stay with the house and we moved. Well, we moved into this great neighborhood with some really fabulous neighbors and even after we moved, for a while I was still working from home. But we were so close to his new school that he began to ride his bike every day to school with his big group of buddies that live all right here on our street. And so when things kind of started to get a little bit back to normal and I started to not work from home really anymore, we just he got to a point where, you know, he was pretty responsible.

bethany davis: 19:17

He was getting up on his own every morning. So now he's on his own every morning. He sets his alarm and he gets up and he puts his breakfast. Now he puts his breakfast in the microwave or the toaster and he takes a shower and he packs up his backpack and walks off to the bus stop and catches the bus every morning. And this is, we have not missed the bus yet. I'm knocking on wood there, hoping that it just jinxed him. No, don't give me one. He doesn't do it completely on his own.

bethany davis: 19:49

I call him probably four or five times a morning to make sure. Number one he always calls me when he wakes up. So if I haven't heard from him by a certain time, I call him and make sure that he's up. He's got one of those gizmo watches that I can set to automatically answer when I call so I can wake him up. And number two he can't dodge my call and I do. I make sure he's up and moving. I make sure you know. Hey, 6.45,. Make sure you're getting out of the shower. Yeah, and I called make sure he's getting out the door if I haven't heard from him. So he's not 100%. I do know that he's in the morning.

bethany davis: 20:23

I do check in and know that he's alive and that he's doing what he's supposed to do and the house is not burned down.

amy stackhouse: 20:30

Those are all important things.

bethany davis: 20:31

But for the most part. I mean he is pretty. He is. I mean that's pretty remarkable that he handles all of that. He walks the dog before that's one of his responsibilities is he's got to eat breakfast. He's got to brush his teeth. I don't know why that's a fight every single day. For some reason I have to ask him every single day to brush your teeth. We do it every day. And he walks the dog before he packs up his stuff and heads off to the bus stop. And we had some close calls. We had some close mornings where he almost didn't make it, where I got busy and didn't call him and he didn't get up when he was supposed to. But somehow we've always come through and he's made it every day that he's been well enough to go to school. So he is. I can't say enough about him. He's a pretty incredible kiddo. He's awesome.

amy stackhouse: 21:20

So do you have any moments where you're just going wait, I'm probably doing this wrong and I shouldn't do it, and I really shouldn't go to work. I shouldn't have a career, I shouldn't. Do you ever go down that path, or do?

bethany davis: 21:30

you, yeah, you just described every day in a nutshell.

amy stackhouse: 21:33

I'm sorry, all right. So what do you do? You have a great therapist, you have friends. Avoid this group, or that group.

bethany davis: 21:40

What do you do? Yeah, so I do have some great friends, some really great neighbors that have become almost more like family, that they're big help. They make things. They really do help keep things on track when we can't be here. But yeah, I'm not any different than any other mom. I think all of us have some degree of that mom guilt. I think we all are thinking, gosh, I should find a way to be home more, I should find a way to work less. But there's always something that doesn't get done. At the end of the day, to be honest with you, we all look around the house and think I'm going to have to wash that load of clothes again because I didn't get them in the dryer, so they did in the washer with it for like 48 hours now, because I wash them three times before I get them to the dryer.

bethany davis: 22:33

You never know. Yep, they're just really clean. I'll tell you that. So yeah, I do have those moments gosh, almost every single day. But I don't think I talk about the hours a lot. It's crazy hours getting up in the morning and then we have these kids that are all involved in activities and, gosh, I want to eat dinner every single night. But you blows my mind when I'm thinking did we just have dinner last night? So most nights, I'll tell you, last night it's almost 9 o'clock, but before we get home we still got to eat dinner, get some throws and things together for the next day and try to get in a few hours of sleep before the alarm goes off at 2.30. My hours are early, but all moms struggle with that. I know that they do.

bethany davis: 23:26

Every mom out there struggles with trying to balance the full-time job and the kids' activities. And what are we going to feed them again tonight? And do we just fed them last night? How are we going to get the laundry done? And the dishes have been in the dishwasher. Who knows how long that's been cleaned, but now they're piling up in the sink because nobody has time to actually unload the dishwasher, to get the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher.

bethany davis: 23:55

But that's life and that's a season and I know, as my older kids have grown up and gone out of the house, that I've come to realize that there's going to be a day when we don't have any little ones living in the house, when we're not running around chasing all their activities until 9 o'clock at night, and I'll have time to. I'll have all the time in the world to swap the laundry and unload the dishwasher. I probably won't unload the dishwasher. I hate that chore. Nobody else will come back and unload the dishwasher and I'll probably miss these times. I'll miss these moments. So I just try to try to. The older my kids get, the more numbered I realize those moments are and the more I understand that I just have to appreciate the moments that I have, even the hard ones, even the ones that make me just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I still have learned that I'm going to appreciate those when they're not here anymore.

amy stackhouse: 24:58

When is the last time you cried, maybe?

bethany davis: 25:02

last one oh this morning. Honestly, yeah, this has actually been a really tough little season for me, so I'm not really generally much of a crier.

bethany davis: 25:17

This has been a tough season, why I lost my mom. In June. She passed away and she I mean, she had been sick, but she'd really only been very, very sick for about a month. So it was somewhat sudden and I really thought I was doing. You know, by the time I got to kind of the start of school. Then we got into a rhythm. I thought okay, I think I'm doing okay, I think I'm doing okay. And then my birthday came.

bethany davis: 25:50

You know, since September and I did not prepare. I had prepared myself for some other you know big moments that I was going to miss her for, but I didn't really think about I don't know my birthday. You know that I don't think a whole lot about my birthday. I love birthdays, but I didn't really think about mine and celebrating it. And by the time we got to the middle of the day on my birthday and I realized that I wasn't going to see her and I wasn't going to hear from her.

bethany davis: 26:22

Just I, just you know, I said to John I said I just don't want you want to do this anymore. I don't want to. We planned a dinner with all the family and I said I just don't want to do it and that's not the right thing to do, because everybody else deserves to be there to enjoy the celebration. But so, yeah, I just missed her so much this season. You know we had Thanksgiving running joke with Thanksgiving. It's hereditary. I have a little bit of it in me, but I'm trying to break the cycle. She was chronically late to everything.

amy stackhouse: 26:58

So it's not bad in your career.

bethany davis: 27:02

So in Thanksgiving we kind of got to the point over the last few years. We would tell her we were going to eat about an hour to an hour and a half earlier than we were actually planning to eat.

bethany davis: 27:12

We'd get there somewhat, maybe only 30 minutes late. Well, don't you? She always was in charge of the dressing, and that was always her. Her excuse was that the dressing just took longer to cook and that's why she was running so late. It wasn't, it wasn't her, it was the dressing. So Thanksgiving came and her husband we call him St Steve brought the dressing over and he showed up on time. But he says, and the dressing didn't cook.

amy stackhouse: 27:43

I got to put it in the oven. Oh, that's funny.

bethany davis: 27:48

That's funny, but he wasn't about to be late. He wasn't here for Thanksgiving, but we still ate about 45 minutes later than we planned because we were still waiting on the dressing.

amy stackhouse: 27:59

So it's kind of neat that you get those little god laughs. I mean, it's just one of those things where it's like, okay, this is really hard, but there was some.

bethany davis: 28:12

I really, yeah, I needed it that day. I had prepared my Thanksgiving, I had prepared myself for and to kind of understand that, I knew it was going to be a little different, a little bit weird, and we had a smaller crowd for Thanksgiving than we normally do, which was a little also a little strange but it changes the noise level, doesn't it?

bethany davis: 28:33

Yeah, it really does, but you just don't. I'll be honest with you. I think this is because it holds true for everybody. I know I'm not unique. We all, you know, we all lose our moms at some point.

bethany davis: 28:46

It's really hard, but it's your mom, you know, like I never really imagined, I never had that thought, well, what would it be if she wasn't, if she wasn't here? That I never had a chance to really, you know, ponder that. And even when she got sick, I just knew she's going to get better. You know she's going to be better, it's going to be fine. So, yeah, I just have found myself this season, you know, really thinking gosh, this had never, it never really occurred to me that she wouldn't be here for this, or it never dawned on me that, you know, I wouldn't be able to pick up the phone and call her and tell her about this situation. And so I needed I needed Thanksgiving it was kind of kind of neat to the dressing. We're still waiting. We're still waiting on, maybe, his dressing, and so, again, that is, you know that we always celebrated Christmas with her on Christmas Eve, and so that's another something that I've kind of been preparing months for.

bethany davis: 29:45

And that's that's. You know, that's tough, that's that's going to, that's going to be a real hole on Christmas Eve. Yeah, the year of the first.

amy stackhouse: 29:54

Yeah, the first year of the first are really tough. And then and then the year of oh my gosh, what if somebody doesn't mention the dressing, you know, because it's still? It's kind of like you're you're in a catch 22, but while those memories, those stories and that seems to be what you're doing in your family too is creating those, those stories. So do you usually listen with your head or your heart? And I bet I can answer this one.

bethany davis: 30:26

Yeah, I'm a heart person, for sure, yeah, and I mean, you know, I think a lot of times, especially as we try to do this adulting thing, we have to think things through with our heads. But you know, when it comes to my family and my people, my heart jumps first every time, every time.

amy stackhouse: 30:53

Well that that goes back to being able to have those stories and and the the noise in the house and the listen to the conversations. So let's, let's kind of switch gears just a little bit. You're in a position where you come in contact with lots of leaders and you're a leader in your own field, but what is your description of a good leader?

bethany davis: 31:19

Ooh, that's a good one, yeah, so this is funny because I talked to my kids about this a lot over the years. You don't have to have a title or position to be a leader. A leader is someone who is confident, not arrogant. There's a big difference. There's someone, most importantly, who serves. It's someone who sees what needs to be done and takes care of what needs to be done. And that's not always physical work. Sometimes that's emotional work. Sometimes that's just seeing someone who's sitting alone and going to sit down next to them.

bethany davis: 32:13

Sometimes, you know it's noticing that the trash can is full and the trash bag needs to be taken out. It sounds like it sounds like it that's, you know, minion work. But that's that's the. That's what makes a real leader is someone who steps in and does what needs to be done, regardless of your title, regardless of your position, regardless of how other people will see you. You you do what needs to be done just because it needs to be done, not because somebody told you it needed to be done. And that's that's what a that's what a leader is. I don't know that. I would consider, you know, my position is not necessarily a leadership position at work, but, goodness, I love, I love when we get interns into the station. I love. I've taken many of them over the years and I've, you know, just made them my interns.

bethany davis: 33:09

You know I love I didn't have to do that. Nobody necessarily told me that's what I needed to do, but but I love to to see people grow and I love to see people learn and I like that. I get to be a part of that and I like to see when you know people have accomplishments, I like to celebrate those accomplishments with them. So I think a leader is just someone who who steps in and not necessarily steps up, but a leader is someone who steps in when it's needed.

amy stackhouse: 33:43

I like that. I like that. Did you have a particular mentor as you came along and as you continue?

bethany davis: 33:50

Yeah, I've had a lot of them, actually a lot of really cool people, who have just poured, just poured into me, which is why I like to pour into other people and I and my schedule doesn't allow me to do a lot of that with some of our, our younger reporters and producers, but the ones that I do, I just I love that. But you know, in front of the camera, behind the camera, I've had so many people that have just cheered me on. You know, not not necessarily to provide any type of criticism, or you know, I've had people who said you could do this better, you could wear that better. Lots of hair and makeup and wardrobe discussions, more than hair to share. That's crazy.

bethany davis: 34:41

But you know, just, the people that have, you know, just really said hey, I think you can do a really good job with this, or I'm going to hand you this story Because I think you're the person that can, that can do it the best. I may not have actually been the right person for that story, but but they believed in me enough to to trust me with it and there's, there's just something to be said for that to think okay, somebody, somebody believes that I can handle this, even if I wouldn't have volunteered for this, I could take you back to the legislature. I would have never volunteered. I did not volunteer to cover it.

amy stackhouse: 35:20

It might not volunteer again and I will not volunteer to do it again.

bethany davis: 35:27

The fact that somebody said we think I don't know why they thought I was smart enough to handle this that said, that to me said a lot about what people you know what people I first I thought I must be they must be punishing me for something. That's what I thought for the first several weeks and I came to realize that there must have been these people. Obviously these they were in leadership roles in the newsroom obviously thought enough about me to trust me because this was important. This was this is important information. We're, you know, tv station in the capital city, so we have a huge responsibility to make sure we cover this and get it right. And so, yeah, the fact that they trusted me with that I'm still not sure why they really trusted me with it. I think it turned out okay. It still worked there.

amy stackhouse: 36:20

Yeah, I was gonna say you still have a job. Might not be in the legislature, but you have a job. So what do you think the difference is between wishing and realizing your dreams? Because a lot of people would say I mean, you have the dream life. I mean you've got your own air, you're gorgeous, you've got the family, you've got the husband, you've got this, you've got. I mean you live a lot of your life kind of out loud, and so people could very much say you've got it all. But what do you think wishing and realizing your dreams?

bethany davis: 36:59

the difference might be Okay well, let me just tell you this those people I should have I'm one day I'm going to look up this quote and I'm going to write it down, because I never remember it quite the right way. But my friend, jennifer Horton, who used to be a reporter with Channel 12, she's moved on to Birmingham now had this sign on her desk that said something along the lines of I may not. I may not have come the way I thought I would come, but I ended up where I needed to be. That is a story of my life. I will tell you, yes, I am in a great place right now. I'm in a great place. I wouldn't say I necessarily have it all, but I really do have all that I need. It has not been an easy road to get here and I have made some incredible mistakes along the way that really took me down some some dark and dirty roads to get back into this place. So, yeah, I think I am living right now probably what I wished for, but the reality of getting here is not something that is very pretty to be realized. With you.

bethany davis: 38:24

I've talked a lot about the schedule, the job, the demands of this job. This is not a family friendly job. I'm not going to say that I can't say it wouldn't be totally accurate to say that the job cost me one marriage. But one marriage failed. I had to. Really that was a time, a really dark time, when the marriage failed. The relationship with my kiddos in that marriage really struggled. I really struggled and I think when we struggle at home we tend to struggle. I don't struggle in any area. That struggle tends to have ripple effects. And I struggled at work for a couple of years maybe not a couple of years, but there was a solid year there that I struggled in every area. And I look back and think, man, that was just such a dark time of my life. I really wondered even did I know? Who am I? Who was I? I look back even and wonder who is that person? That's not who I was before. It's definitely not who I am now.

bethany davis: 39:45

But the more I shared about that, the more I come to realize that again, I'm not unique. A lot of us have those moments and they're not fun and they're not easy. And I think it's real easy to say look at you now and say, oh well, look at it like you said, it looks like you've got it all. I've worked really hard, really really hard, to pull myself out of some things that I really destroyed. I've worked really hard to reconstruct relationships, not just relationships with other people, to reconstruct a relationship with myself that I needed to have. And it's been a lot of prayer and a lot of just really looking really deep inside and deciding and I still struggle with this deciding who I want to be and how I can be that person every single day, and that's hard. That's hard because a lot of people this surprises me, so I hope it surprises you. Not everybody likes me. I have a real people pleaser and sometimes I'm like not everybody likes me, I'm okay with that. That's the way you like me.

amy stackhouse: 41:08

But that's key right there, what you just said. I'm okay with that.

bethany davis: 41:11

I'm okay with that as long as you like you. But I struggle with not with being who I am, regardless of whether people like who I am or not, because I am such a people pleaser.

bethany davis: 41:25

There are people who don't like me, who might not want to smile, not want to say hello, might turn their backs on me, but who I want to be is somebody who always smiles and says hello and is always friendly no matter what, and so that's taken a lot of work for me to be someone who can be comfortable and confident enough in myself and who I want to be, to be that and behave that way, no matter the other person's behavior or like or dislike.

amy stackhouse: 41:56

So do you remember anything in particular that you did? That you were like, okay, I got to dig out of this. I mean, you've made mistakes, so you offered yourself grace somewhere along the way. But is there, is there something that you did consciously? I will do this, and then all of that adds up and and you come up with something, or do you?

bethany davis: 42:20

know there's not like one moment necessarily. You know, I think in so many areas of life, consistency is key. I'll talk about my, my kiddos. I had two kids with my previous marriage and when that was split up, that relationship was really hard. It was really hard on my kiddos and there was, there were years there, where I thought you know, they're going to grow up one day. They're going to grow up and when they don't have to talk to me anymore, I'm never going to hear from them again. But when I tell you about consistency number one, I can't even tell you the number of hours I spent literally on my new knees in prayer in their bedroom in my house.

bethany davis: 43:12

I love to run. I know that sounds crazy. People always like who loves to run? I love to run, but I love to run because that's my, that's like my cheap therapy, but it's also that's some deep prayer time for me and I, god and I have been in some pretty deep and somewhat passionate discussions and some long runs before and some serious prayer time that I just never, ever stopped and I never stopped believing that there is, he's the God of healing and restoration. And so I knew that would come eventually and so I never let up. I never let up on this.

bethany davis: 43:49

Those kiddos I continued to to call, I continued to show up at every single event, whether they wanted me there or not, and I continued to just love on him as though there was no tomorrow. And and now, at 17 and 21, I've never, we've never, been closer. Maybe I would say we're closer, I'm closer to both of them than I was, even when they were little babies and they had no choice but to be close to me. And I know they call me every day on their way home from school or from work. You know they're over at the house all the time. They have friends over at the house. It's, it's, it's just totally different.

bethany davis: 44:35

And there was not one. There was never one moment or never one act. It was just being consistent, over and over and over again, and proving that I'm not going anywhere and that I'm still here and that I still love you. And while you are too young to really understand it, you know three and however old they were, three and seven, you know what happened and how things did not did not work out the way I would have chosen for them to work out in your life, now that you're older. I hope you can understand that I'm still here. I just want you to know me. I can't go back and change what happened. I can't go back and and fix everything and redo it and honestly, at this point I don't know that I would redo it because of where we have come and who. Who we are in our relationships now is pretty incredible.

amy stackhouse: 45:34

Well that's pretty encouraging, you know, to you know be, be able to go through such pain, and then you know, like who you are, who they are. I think I heard somebody say the other week about you take away all that might not be good and you might end up with something that's not good in the end because what wasn't good kind of got you through all those fires and all that molding and all that. You know that maybe we wouldn't be broken down enough to be something more more perfect.

bethany davis: 46:14

Yeah, you know, perfect is not all that it's cracked up to be. To be real on, yeah, no, it's not and none of us are. None of us are perfect and truly. I'm not going to discount the hard times and the mistakes that I made were clearly grave and discussing it at some points, but my experiences and the way I come through experiences I hope would be encouraging and inspiring to someone else. I know that it wasn't just me. This is more than just my story to tell. There are other people involved so I wouldn't get too ingrained in the details. There is hope, with a lot of work and a lot of prayer and a lot of consistency. There is healing and there is restoration. I have experience. I'm not going to tell you that everything is fine and dandy and brand all the time. We are quite dysfunctional. Still, we have plenty of dysfunction to go around. We can share some if you like.

amy stackhouse: 47:37

I have plenty of them.

bethany davis: 47:41

We are in a good place where we can accept our dysfunction and we can love our dysfunction and we can still be a family through the dysfunction of it all.

amy stackhouse: 47:53

One of the things that I keep thinking as we are talking. It goes back to the more you are exposed to, the more broad your filter is, the more you can see people in a real way, and sometimes dysfunction helps you see others in a different light. That's true.

bethany davis: 48:13

I think sometimes when you go through things I have said this many times about a divorce Divorce is its own personal kind of hill to begin with, but when you have been through it, you start to recognize it in other people, even when they are not talking about it yet, even when they think they are hiding that something is wrong. There are a lot of things like that. When you go through it, then you start to recognize it and then you can start to reach out to people and say, hey look, I've been here before. I'm here if you want to talk. If not, I get that too. I've been here before and if you need help through it, I can be here to help you through it. It does. I think our own experiences really open us up, even when they are really, really bad experiences, and I look back and think, man, I was just a really bad person at one point. I think it still has helped me become an even better person now than I was before.

amy stackhouse: 49:16

Can you tell when you need some kind of adventure and a getaway?

bethany davis: 49:22

My whole life is an adventure.

amy stackhouse: 49:24

You don't need one on the daily, then you already have it.

bethany davis: 49:29

It's gracious. Yeah, I wish I could have given you a moment. I was like, yes, I need to get out. I don't want to. You know, we love I mean, we love to get away, but I'm not really a person who wants. You know, if you asked me how I would want to spend what would be like my ideal day. I don't want to get away from everything or everybody. I would want them all here with me. But we love adventures. I love trying new things. I do feel like literally every day is a different adventure. I just don't really get to plan it out very well. It plans me. So, yeah, I'm not necessarily a getaway person. I love to get away and get out of the. You know, I love, honestly, I love summertime. I'm one of those moms that's like I don't want my kids to go back to school.

bethany davis: 50:26

I love having them all home and I love the craziness of summertime the kids that are running in and out. There's never enough food in the house and I'm always run into the grocery. But I love. I love that and so why I do like to get out and get away. I don't like to get away from my people. I want to take them all with me. If I can have them all under one roof all the time, I probably would, but I know that's probably not actually healthy. They need independence. I hear you.

amy stackhouse: 50:50

I'm a lot like that. One of the things I miss the most is the revolving door, the friends, the people that come over that. You know, all of a sudden you get invested in all these lives that they're doing other things as their careers. You know, I'm just as worried about their friends as I am them. Yes, when they get further and further away, it becomes weirder and weirder to insert yourself in that.

bethany davis: 51:18

So it's like, yeah, I'm hoping maybe grandkids will help. You know, at some point they've got one who's married. At some point she's going to have some babies. You know, we'll just get involved with the grandkids and that'll keep us going. It'll keep the adventures going.

amy stackhouse: 51:33

Yeah, but I hear you, I mean I love it and it kind of expands your world. You work in the same place as your husband works, right? Yes, Now that in itself can be challenging. I mean, you're talking about, you don't need to get away, but y'all are like at home, y'all are at work and pretty much the same schedule or different.

bethany davis: 51:53

They have the same schedule, which is it works really well for us. If people ask all the time, that is one of my most common questions is what is it like? You know, how in the world do you work with your husband? But I'll say this we really don't see that much of each other. Oh yeah, so he is in this. You know, we work on the same shift but he's in the studio every morning and most mornings I'm out in the field and so we get up and we go.

bethany davis: 52:20

We don't really talk in the mornings. I'm not a morning person, by the way, I just pretend to be one on TV but we don't talk in the mornings most of the time until you know it's time to leave and he'll say you know, he's going one way, I'm going a different way, and we really, we really intruly know our deaths are right next to each other in the newsroom. I mean his chair is like three feet from mine, but we're not. We might spend maybe an hour most days, maybe an hour, you know, in the same building. I mean I'm not much of a sitter at my desk anyway.

bethany davis: 53:00

So a lot of times I mean, you know, I like to walk around and talk to people in the newsroom or, you know, go over the show with the producers, and so, yeah, it's really. It's really not. It's not as intense as you might think. And there are days when I am in the studio with him and we sit right next to each other for about two and a half hours, but we're working and so it's not necessarily that different than working with anyone else. He's really good at his job and so it's really easy to you know to sit next to him and to work next to him, and that really would not be. It's not too too different, except we might make a comment or two about you know what happened at home or about the kids, but for the most part it's not any different than it would be if I was sitting next to somebody else's husband.

amy stackhouse: 53:49

Yeah, Well, I mean, I can understand that and your creative juices go back and forth. And yeah, my husband and I were both in marketing at the time that we met and a lot of times we worked on projects together, I mean to date. Myself, you won't remember this at all, but if you had any kind of presentation, you had like eight projectors that you would have come in back and forth and so you know, we kind of perfected that. Well, that's in our industry and what we were doing, that's all you had time for and you got more excited about you doing something right or you doing, you know, discovering something, than it was about any kind of personal relationship. It was more, you know, the product, the end product that you were trying to.

bethany davis: 54:36

Absolutely so it became fun.

amy stackhouse: 54:40

And it kind of, on the flip side, does help in your communication at home because you've kind of been in sync.

bethany davis: 54:49

Yes, I would say that it's kind of nice to be married to somebody who really understands, you know, who understands the demands and the stresses, you know the irritations, but also understands the fun parts of the job.

bethany davis: 55:02

You know to say I tell him all the time, he is my biggest cheerleader, yeah, you need to go after that, yeah, you know, it's really, it's kind of fun. Or, you know, when he's working on a story and he'll, you know, hand his, take off his headsets and hand them over to me and say, hey, I want you to watch this part, See what you, you know, see what you think about how I pulled this together. Those kind of things are really fun and, like I said, he's really good. I really trust his, I trust his judgment and I trust, you know, I trust his news brain and he's a really good editor. So, it comes to things like that, I really enjoy, I enjoy, watching what he produces. So so, yeah, we we don't spend a whole lot of time together at work and the time that we do is is actual work and and it's kind of fun, you know, I think I really do enjoy it.

amy stackhouse: 55:59

Well, good good, that probably helps too. So what, what would you tell somebody that you made the comment earlier that you might not recommend the industry to somebody to come into? So what would you tell a young woman trying to decide her career, her relationships? What kind of advice does Bethany have?

bethany davis: 56:25

This is a tough. This is a tough industry and I wouldn't recommend it because there any. It has changed. It has changed a lot over the years that I've been involved. It. It's fallen behind in a lot of ways and so this industry, this industry really needs to take a hard, good look at itself and start evolving. I do think there are some companies, some media companies, who have started to to work on some things, to improve some aspects, but it asks this is a job that asks a lot of you. I mean, when you think about it, you see an accident on the road. Your first, your first thought is to pick up your phone and say why didn't the news tell me about it? There are no. I mean, we've kind of gotten out of the deadlines, or not even really any deadlines.

bethany davis: 57:15

The deadline is always now. Yeah, mentally and emotionally, even physically, it's hard. I talked a lot about how, you know, I've been exposed to some things that I've really come to appreciate. I've been exposed to some things so that have taken a real mental and emotional toll on me. You know it's been, it's been a whole. It's been really tough on us.

bethany davis: 57:44

Most recently, the most difficult moment would have been the tornado and Borgard in 2019. And to spend so much time there with families that lost so much to see. That's close to me because I grew up in Opelika, which is in Lake County, along with Borgard, so that was an area that I was very familiar with to begin with. So it's hard to it was hard for me. I spent, I don't know, I've been every day there for probably six weeks and then to come home to my house that was still intact.

bethany davis: 58:23

You know just something that just popped into my head. This was years and years ago I don't even remember what year I was sent to cover a story of a little boy, a kindergartener. He was run over and killed by his school bus in front of his house, just 50 yards from his front door, and his mom came out, probably were there and I didn't even have the heart to ask her for an interview, but she was just the most tenderhearted something and I did chat with her and started a conversation in the end, which is hot, and and I came home to all my babies that night and so that was really tough. There's a lot of and I don't remember me looking away here, or almost guilt that comes along with it, and on the flip side, the compensation of this job is laughably low. Yeah, yeah, this job. When I say it's a public service job, we are not in this for the money. I'll tell you that.

amy stackhouse: 59:32

Yeah, it is for the passion story.

bethany davis: 59:34

I would have left a long time ago. So to put yourself through all of that, the physical demands of the job, especially now, I mean most of the time, especially as a new reporter. In this job you'll be carrying your own camera, your own tripod, your own microphone and cables. You'll be chasing people down with all of that, you won't have a partner to work with and then you're still expected to hop in front of that camera and look really good. After doing all that, in 100 degree weather, that's hard.

bethany davis: 1:00:11

And you're just not gonna get. You're not gonna get reimbursed for that the way you deserve, and so that's why I tell people I wouldn't necessarily recommend this industry. There are a lot of things that I am really proud of and that I love, love about this job, but as far as creating a good and healthy life, I don't know. Some of us thrive and are those pressure circumstances, and some of us are. I guess some of us are just crazy enough to do it okay in circumstances like this, but it's not something that I would tell and I have told my own children. Do something better than this. Find something else that really makes you happy but that can teach you a lot, yes, but that doesn't necessarily put you through the emotional wringer like this one does.

amy stackhouse: 1:01:11

Yeah, it can cost.

bethany davis: 1:01:13

Yeah yeah it. Costs is pretty high sometimes.

amy stackhouse: 1:01:19

So, as you look forward, what do you think that you, as Bethany, are most proud of? And I know your first thing is gonna be children. But what are you most proud of? Either something you've conquered, or that you set a goal and accomplished it. Can you think of something that really stands out to you.

bethany davis: 1:01:45

You know I'm not gonna say that it's any necessarily a piece of work that I've done or anything like that. What I'm really most proud of is that I have worked myself into a place where I'm very I don't really like the word content, that's not what I wanna say, but people say content for now, with where I am. And I never, ever, intended to still be in this TV station in this city when I moved here in 1997. That is not my intention, but at this point, truly I can never, I can't even imagine starting over.

bethany davis: 1:02:34

I say all the time this job, but really my whole life is all about relationships and I have established some really incredible relationships and while I want to continue to be better at what I do in every aspect, I think there's always room for improvement. I've worked really hard to get to a point where I can just be very happy with where I am, and I know that's not necessarily an accomplishment, it's not an award, it's not a piece of work. But I haven't always felt this sense of peace in where I am and it's taken a lot to get here. And I'm very proud to say that I don't need to go anywhere else. I can continue to work. I can continue to improve the things that I'm doing on a regular basis, but I don't have to go anywhere. I don't need an award to prove that or to make that happen.

amy stackhouse: 1:03:43

I think that's fabulous and, based on some of the things you said, that is an accomplishment. You've worked hard, you've chiseled away some of the things you brought in grace and you've learned from lessons, and that's pretty significant. So I'd say that is. It ranks right where I was trying to go with accomplishment. We've talked about so many things and is there anything that we haven't touched on that you would like to make sure that you do?

bethany davis: 1:04:18

Yeah, no, I think we've covered a lot of ground, haven't we? Yeah, that's a pretty busy little hour here. Yeah, I think I could say just a little more on what I was saying. Just, I don't even know why this popped into my head, but it did Another something that I just really have been working on.

bethany davis: 1:04:42

While I am very happy and I have worked to get to this place of peace and contentment and I guess the word award is what triggered it I had finally come to a place where I don't necessarily need my productivity to determine how I feel about myself or determine my worth, I guess, is probably a good way to say it, and that's hard, especially this culture for one, but this job for sure. I had an executive producer tell me one time you're only as good as your next show, and I took that to heart because what he said is true I had a great show that night that I'm only as good as the next one. So I really kind of got into a rut, I would say. But I got it.

bethany davis: 1:05:43

If I'm really going to deserve to be in this position, if I deserve to show up every day, I better turn out some good work, and I better do this and check off these boxes, and what I've come to realize is that that doesn't necessarily always add up just because you turned a certain number of stories or you made a certain number of phone calls or you got all the laundry done that day. That really doesn't mean anything. It really doesn't. That doesn't mean anything about who I am or who I want to be, and so I to say that, and I said that I don't necessarily need an award. I don't need an award. I don't need to be told that was a good show or that was a great story or you killed in your live shot. I don't need that anymore. But it's taken me a lot of work to understand that my productivity does not determine how much I'm worth or what I am or who I am to anybody.

amy stackhouse: 1:06:50

Wow, that's big If we could all learn that when we were 20 instead. Of.

bethany davis: 1:06:55

Yeah, why did that take me so long? I get it next. 25 years ago I would have been much better.

amy stackhouse: 1:07:01

Yeah, wouldn't we, wouldn't we all? Bethany, this has been great. I have one last question for you, and that is if you had a superpower any superpower, you can use it professionally or personally, but you can only have it 24 hours. What would you use, why would you choose it and how would you use it?

bethany davis: 1:07:21

Only 24 hours.

amy stackhouse: 1:07:23

Only 24.

bethany davis: 1:07:25

So I've said for a long time I wish I could just teleport places. Because, number one, I hate to drive and I feel like I feel like if somebody else was driving I could get so much more done and I'm chronically late. I love you for this one. I consider myself a professional procrastinator. I'm not always I can get things done all time, I just like to push it to the very, very last second. So if I could teleport, that would be great. But I need that for way more than 24 hours. I don't know if I only had 24 hours, what would it be? You know, if I only had 24 hours, it would probably be somehow to multiply myself and to be in about six or seven different places at the same time. So I really didn't miss anything. So I could have 24 hours. 24 hours of one-on-one time with all of my people would be pretty amazing, with each one of them, that would be pretty neat. That's probably what I would choose.

amy stackhouse: 1:08:25

That's great, bethany, thank you.

bethany davis: 1:08:28

Oh, thank you. I've enjoyed this little time together.

amy stackhouse: 1:08:31

It's been wonderful and I appreciate it.

bethany davis: 1:08:34

Oh, thank you for inviting me. I'm truly honored that you would even think of me. I really appreciate it. It's been fun.

amy stackhouse: 1:08:43

Let me see.