Stacked Keys Podcast
Episode 171-- Rene Gamet -- Every Grapple and Hold Teaches Resilience
Have you ever marveled at the resilience and grace of those who master both the art of beauty and the discipline of combat? Rene Gamet is a hair and makeup artist with a twist – she's also a 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and she's here to share her extraordinary journey with us. She has taken real life situations and worked hard to be where she is today. Imagine stepping behind the curtain of the beauty industry, where trends are as fleeting as they are demanding, and then stepping onto the mat where every grapple and hold teaches resilience and strength. Rene offers us a rare glimpse into these two divergent worlds and how they've sculpted her into the powerhouse she is today.
Striking a balance between professional pressure and personal growth, Rene's experiences range from calming jittery brides before their "I do's" to harnessing the confidence earned through martial arts to overcome her own fear of judgment. Through her, we learn the value of preparation in both arenas, and how marrying the intensity of kickboxing with the intricacies of hairstyling can lead to a captivating evolution of self. Rene's narrative weaves through the delicate dance of teaching jiu-jitsu, the empowerment of women on the mat, and the humbling journey from novice to black belt instructor.
As we wrap up, Rene shares her philosophies on life which are as refreshing. She dispels the idea that balance is easy, but she has chosen to be authentic to herself as an individual and as a mom. She dissects the notion of success, peeling back the layers to reveal a longing for simplicity and the true richness that comes from peace and joy. On a lighter note, she muses about a fantastical superpower that perfectly complements her mission – to sprinkle an instant uplift of peace and happiness onto others. Catch Rene's vibrant energy and inspiring tales on social media, where she shines and offers a touch of whimsy in a world that too often forgets to smile.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Have you ever marveled at the resilience and grace of those who master both the art of beauty and the discipline of combat? Rene Gamet is a hair and makeup artist with a twist – she's also a 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu black belt, and she's here to share her extraordinary journey with us. She has taken real life situations and worked hard to be where she is today. Imagine stepping behind the curtain of the beauty industry, where trends are as fleeting as they are demanding, and then stepping onto the mat where every grapple and hold teaches resilience and strength. Rene offers us a rare glimpse into these two divergent worlds and how they've sculpted her into the powerhouse she is today.
Striking a balance between professional pressure and personal growth, Rene's experiences range from calming jittery brides before their "I do's" to harnessing the confidence earned through martial arts to overcome her own fear of judgment. Through her, we learn the value of preparation in both arenas, and how marrying the intensity of kickboxing with the intricacies of hairstyling can lead to a captivating evolution of self. Rene's narrative weaves through the delicate dance of teaching jiu-jitsu, the empowerment of women on the mat, and the humbling journey from novice to black belt instructor.
As we wrap up, Rene shares her philosophies on life which are as refreshing. She dispels the idea that balance is easy, but she has chosen to be authentic to herself as an individual and as a mom. She dissects the notion of success, peeling back the layers to reveal a longing for simplicity and the true richness that comes from peace and joy. On a lighter note, she muses about a fantastical superpower that perfectly complements her mission – to sprinkle an instant uplift of peace and happiness onto others. Catch Rene's vibrant energy and inspiring tales on social media, where she shines and offers a touch of whimsy in a world that too often forgets to smile.
Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff
Today I'm really excited. I have Renee gamut joining us and I cannot wait to find out all about you and what makes you tick and go, and I'm just really excited and pleased that you had the time to tune in. Yeah, thanks for having me. Oh, I'm excited, Renee. Let's go right out of the start. How do people know you professionally and personally?
Speaker 2:I am a hair and makeup artist. I do services in the salon and then I also run a bridal team in the summertime. So we go on site and do wedding hair and makeup and take care of the whole bridal party. And then personally I would say I don't know, people think I'm badass, but I don't see how sometimes. But I'm a black belt in 10 planet Jiu Jitsu, and so that's my other main hobby and I just love it and I love having both sides to me and I guess I've always been that way, like feminine on one end and then rugged and beastly on the other.
Speaker 1:That's great. Those are sometimes polar opposites, so I'm going to dive in. The hair and makeup world is ever changing, so from the time you got into it to now, what are some of the biggest challenges that you've seen?
Speaker 2:I would probably say keeping up with what people are finding on social media people falling in love with the rainbow colors and it was like really platinum and silver hair at one time and we just have to be like that's really hard to achieve on someone with dark hair or coarse hair, like it's just not going to look that way. Besides having the skills or, as a hairdresser, keeping up with the skills that it takes to achieve these looks and learning them, teaching ourselves to learn to do them, or paying for a course or a class, and then you still have to experiment on the clients that you're getting in there to make it work for your color line or technique or the timing. Yeah, there's just a lot of figuring out along the way. So that's been fun.
Speaker 2:I like to say I make the best mistakes. I like that they help me out. Even if I'm like, oh, that kind of overtoned a little bit, I can take them to the sink and do a quick like little rinse off and then it's perfect. I meant to do that. That's exactly what I meant to do. That's the fun part about it.
Speaker 1:It's pretty competitive too, is it not? You've got to keep your skills set up, but then your neighbor's doing the same thing. So how do you get into that competition, or do you?
Speaker 2:I think everyone has their talents in an area and what they'd like to do, and maybe I don't feel that competition because I'm in a salon that has quite a bit of older stylists, so I would probably say myself and a few others have kept up with updated trends and some of them are still doing what they do and their clients go to them and they love it. So I don't feel like there's competition at my salon personally, and I've been doing it a long time, like 20 years. So on one hand, if I have somebody, that's all. I'm going to go somewhere else and like goodbye, you're stupid then I don't know. You don't want to wait two weeks for me while you're retarded, I don't know.
Speaker 1:What that gives you. You have real confidence in what you're doing and who you are. Have you always had that aspect of your personality?
Speaker 2:Probably not. I do. I think, with time and experience and knowing that I've done it that long and I've seen enough heads of hair, and this is what came in. This is what I did and this is how it turned out. I need all of those in order to input the data of, like, when someone else comes in with that same level of hair and they want the same kind of picture, okay, I can refer back to what I did for that other person. So it does give me the confidence in what is going to be the output, like the outcome of their hair color.
Speaker 1:So did you play in hair and makeup when you were a kid?
Speaker 2:So I have these really fond memories of my dad just letting me brush his hair and I did it all. I was a hairdresser and he would order food at my restaurant. Like I just remember doing all of these role playing things on my dad. I think my mom was a breadwinner so my dad was at this all the time but yeah, I used to pretend to cut his hair and comb his hair and then I did a lot on my hair growing up because I had growing up in Hawaii.
Speaker 2:It's humid and my hair it looks nice now but it's actually really curly and it's like a lion when I don't do anything to it. So I used to braid it because my dad didn't know what to do with it and I would cry that I couldn't do anything with my hair. So I just taught myself how to braid it and do all sorts of things that would just not have it be fuzzy and frizzy and in my way. So I think just doing those sort of things just gave me the dexterity to do on the brain, to do hair stuff. So I did play from a long time ago and I never thought it would turn into anything, I just liked it and I did it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so when did you go into it professionally?
Speaker 2:So I was about to graduate and I didn't even take SATs. And I talked to they were my neighbor from years ago and I found out that they could possibly do an apprenticeship. So I'm from Kauai and the only beauty schools were on Oahu and that's 20 grand plus an apartment, plus you probably have to get a job in Hawaii and there was no money for that. My other neighbor told me that hey, I should apprentice for them and see how that will work out. And I asked them and she actually said no at first. No, we don't want to do that.
Speaker 2:People have been unreliable, they don't follow through, I'm like. But I really want to do it. Okay, you get the paperwork, you do everything. Bring it to me, because with the state you have to. You get like a permit to work essentially and it's double the hours of beauty school and just for hair alone. And so I did that and they took me in and I did about 30, 35 hours a week. So this is unpaid.
Speaker 2:I was super stoked to go home with $2 from something tipping me for shampooing their hair. I'm like two McChickets when they were a dollar and that just started me off and it was so nerve wracking but it was learning on the job and so I really got to gain a lot of skills and use them right away. I got to pick the brains of the other stylists that were in the salon and honestly I think it's the best way to go. I wish that Oregon would allow students to come and like reception at a salon or at least start to help out in the salon while they're in beauty school. That way there's not like a discrepancy or that fear of by the time they graduate and they're going to start in a salon. I feel like it's really scary and a lot of people quit. You'll find them at the beauty supply.
Speaker 2:Oh well or then to be a dental hygienist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, nothing beats hands on. You can learn a technique in this industry or when we talk a few minutes on the mat and if you aren't practicing that, it just loses something in translation and probably does build up the fear. So how do you deal with fear?
Speaker 2:I'm a very do it scared kind of person and I will, I will whine about it. I will, I will be nervous. I try to say I'm really excited Instead of saying I'm nervous. I try not to use the word anxious at all. And, yeah, I will literally whine until I like step out there and then magically, I'm like, okay, I can put on a little bit of an alter ego and get it done. Do what I need to do to get it done.
Speaker 1:You mentioned that you were also. You do wedding packages and events and, yeah, that could be intimidating, because here you are dealing with somebody that's got a lot of times a picture in their head. Sometimes no picture in their head, but really they do have a picture in their head, you're right.
Speaker 2:They know what they don't want.
Speaker 1:So that's a little bit of a different aspect of your career. How different is it?
Speaker 2:And it isn't I. For brides we do a trial run, a preview. I would probably say that's almost the more nerve wracking day, especially if they're early on and they're doing it as like my trial to see if I'm good enough for what they want. So most of the time that's not the case. Most of the time and I don't know if it's just because of how the whole system works when the good people get booked, so they go and book and then we go and do the trial closer to the wedding so they're not going to jump ship to go to somebody else at that point.
Speaker 2:But sometimes I do have to make sure like I'm on point and yeah, I just, I just dig into myself, into my artistry and what I know how to do. I am an artist and I love to paint or be creative of any type, and I don't know, it's just there and I'm okay. And, like I said, I only make the best mistakes in that and I prompt them in that it's not the perfect day that day and I always do better on wedding day and I always say that I go, it's always better on wedding day, the hair gods come in or something and everything goes right. Yeah, and I think they're just excited and I think our myself and my team, our personalities and the other kind of energies we bring help it too. So they feel relaxed and peaceful and their girls are getting done. So the overall atmosphere is happy, they're content, they're relaxed, things are going on time. Maybe they're not gonna be as particular, but also I don't think we get those particular as well as either.
Speaker 2:So I think that never seems that way, cause I can calm them down enough. I don't know, I got a little magic?
Speaker 1:Hey, it sounds like it. So it's interesting that you pull in the artist aspect. So that's truly how you see this career it's an extension of art.
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely, yeah, yeah, and if you knew me personally you'd be like, yep, that sounds about right. That would probably be like at the top of the list like artist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that what's maybe the scariest thing you've done. I know you don't use anxious and you don't use those words, but maybe and maybe it's not in this, maybe it's in the other puller side of your life. But what do you can you think of? Maybe the scariest thing that stopped you in your tracks Made you question hey, what am I doing?
Speaker 2:Scary and I don't know this is scary. This is a new realm. I think, looking at, the scariest thing right now is leaning into coming more of a public speaker, a coach, like really being in front of people. I'd probably say that's what stops me the most from creating more content online where I'm just talking and being myself. I have a pretty huge fear of judgment and it sucks. I wish I did and I wish it was like a little more free to just be the character I am and I feel like I grow a little more every time I'm looking at a public speaking course that my husband took and just to get me more comfortable. But also I know that it's reps and I know that I need to just do more of them and things with other people and record and do all those things, but oh, I've been avoiding it like crazy.
Speaker 1:But what's funny is the two things that I know about you you, what. So thank you for making me, oh, happy to push you to your uncomfortable. What's funny is the two things that I know about you right now are very external. They are things that people can judge you on all day long and yet you embrace them. So let's jump into that, jiu-jitsu being a black belt, that aspect of your life, because some of my listeners don't know what jiu-jitsu is. Of course, they've heard a lot of it on this podcast, because there are some phenomenal women that have that black belt and even some that are striving toward that direction. But tell me about that and how you got into it, and then we'll explore a little bit more, maybe some of the fears there and talk about Medusa as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I have been training for, let's see, we're gonna come up on 14. I lied 11 years. Wow, You're in the mouth here. So 11 years training and I. So.
Speaker 2:When I was little, I did ballet and then I did gymnastics and I thought ballet was so boring.
Speaker 2:I love gymnastics, I love learning how to do flips with my body and how to feel confident in my movements and just build my strength and my flexibility from there. And then I got into kajikembo, which is a combination of kata, te, judo, kenpo, unboxing, which not a lot of people know about this art, and it's more like karate, it's like a standup martial arts, beautiful. And so I had this martial arts background from being a teenager and that was where I fell in love with discipline and hard work and like sweating it out and knowing that if it didn't beat me down, it wasn't a good workout. Anyway, I just I don't know. I just got brainwashed, then loved the intensity and then started to do more of a kickboxing version, because that was when MMA really started to come out, and in Hawaii I don't know what it is about us, but we just like to fight and so everybody got into it and I did my first like kickboxing cage match, but we still had like helmets and shin pads and I won. So technically I'm undefeated there you go.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I didn't know it would turn into a thing. But before that fight, like just before that fight, I met my husband out in Hawaii. He's a Marine and he was stationed out there, so he came and watched me at that fight. And then we moved to Oregon and I lost all sense of who I was because I didn't have the beach to go to, I couldn't boogie board, there's no sunshine Tell me what the lack of vitamin D will do to a person and I had to go like I had to go to therapy. It was really rough just being away from family and friends and like everything. They were like yeah, it's a complete environmental change, so it's normal.
Speaker 2:And my husband started to go to 10 planet Portland back when it was led by John Salami and he loved it and he tried to get me and I'm like only boys do it and you're on the ground and I don't know. I just I hated to feel stupid, like I wasn't very good at starting something, because I just hated the feeling of being stupid and not knowing what to do and making mistakes. I hate to make mistakes and make wrong choices and it just felt like they were everywhere. I'm like I'm not doing that and I would be so mad at him that he'd be gone all night. I'm like, what is this stuff? It looks boring, I don't know what's going on, but he was really, and he was so good at it that I hated it. I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna be crappy. And yeah, I was. Just it was terrible. I was really young. And then there was a beautiful woman named Anita and she's probably about 10 years older than I am, and I found out that she went and I'm like, okay, maybe I'll go, and I went with her Day one. I fell in love with it. Like it upsets me now that I could have been doing it for the last time I was gonna have before and spending all that time with my husband instead of, like, crying while he wasn't home and he didn't wanna see me.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I like I rolled on my second day and back then it was just like, just don't roll on your first day, yeah. And then I jumped in and we'd be wrestling and oh, it was terrible. I got beat up all the time. I'm like, not beat up, I was just on the bottom, I'm tiny, and they just lift me up and roll me off and so I wasn't anything to contend with back then. But yeah, our coach is now the person that owns 10th Planet Portland Phil Schwartz. He, him and Sam Hardy they were like my big brothers there, and so I slowly started to feel that community aspect and there's just something about blood, sweat and tears in with people that brings you closer and, yeah, makes you love it. And then just I love how strong it makes me feel, I love knowing that I have a bag of tricks should something happen to me outside on the street. But also I think that just having that and that discipline mentality, that energy, then nothing does come to me Like stuff doesn't try to happen to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have a little bit of an aura around you of confidence, of how you hold yourself. I've heard a lot of people talk about Jiu Jitsu kind of spills off of the mat and goes into every aspect of life. Sounds like you are a classic for that Of you got into it and then that pulled you out of some of the gloominess of the move and of trying to find out who and what you were in a different place. Does that resonate?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, definitely. I will definitely say that Jiu Jitsu saved my life. It did. It brought me out of that dark place and then gaining that community helped bridge the gap from not having my family anymore.
Speaker 2:Besides the positive effects of getting a workout in and it's the best workout because you don't have to think about what you're doing so to me it's like you get that exercise and you get that meditation at the same time, when you get to that good spot of not having of no mind, of not thinking, and you're just in flow, and then you're in connection with source or whatever you want to call it, and your brain just gets to chill, it gets to stop resisting all the good things that are trying to come your way.
Speaker 2:It just that's why I love going to the morning classes, because it just really sets me up for my day, and then I'm bringing a better person to the mat as well, cause more often than not, by the end of the day I'm like I'm gotten a couple of kinks in from whatever else has happened and I'm really relying on that to help me.
Speaker 2:So I would rather be a giver than a taker all the time. I would want to bring goodness to the mat and not just try to have it for myself to fix my mood. But it works either way. So it's definitely need that and I think as and then just knowing that, like I said before, I hated to try something new, now I am better at approaching anything new because I know that I might feel stupid, I might look stupid, I might make mistakes, but it too shall pass and with practice and numbers and repetition on the thing, you can't help but get better at it. So I know that I'll be okay, like I'm just starting out, and it'll be all right. So I'm like oh, rep number one, yikes.
Speaker 1:And the moves are pretty much the moves. They may change based on what you get back, but once you learn the basic moves, then you get your own style within. It Is that kind of how it works.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely, when I started, there wasn't like a laid out program or maybe if I read Master Eddie's books, but our school especially, I think it's beautiful how they've really honed in on certain principles of jujitsu, like push, pull and terms like what a frame is and what a wedge is, and that way you can better apply these moves in different areas of the body or whatever you're doing, instead of trying to keep this whole index of this move and are these 10 steps? Does that make sense? It helps you actually better connect all of the moves to your game. And yeah, I like to think of it as a tree too.
Speaker 2:You have certain foundations of moves that connect you to other moves. They can branch off and sometimes you like randomly learn this move that's like way out here, and then you finally learn the section that connects it to like I would learn it to, that connects to my game, and then now I can actually use it. Yeah, otherwise I'd be like this is cool thing I learned one time from somebody at a seminar, but I don't know, I haven't used it yet and then I figure out the road to get there and now I love it.
Speaker 1:So it makes you said you're 11 years in Mm-hmm and it's fascinating. Today is it was when you started, of course in a different way, because you're not as terrified now.
Speaker 2:Like I said there's, I'm on the other side of it now. More terrifying to me is like the coaching aspect and being able to share the details of how to do it, the right mechanisms, the right position, like where you need to pinch and hold or what's the fulcrum, and things like that, and make sure that we're using these specific terms so that the students memorize it even better than we did. So that's probably more difficult for me now it's easier. I feel a lot more chill going in, going to a class as a black belt, just because I'm like free to learn. I don't have as much outside judgment there as I'm learning something Like now I'm like, okay, I'm just learning it. And I tell people dude, I don't know everything, like you think when you're training up, oh, you're supposed to know everything by the time. You're a black belt, and they often say that when you get that black belt, you're like, okay, now you can learn, cause now you've shown how to learn. Oh, wow, that you can put it together.
Speaker 1:I like that there aren't a lot of black belt women and so you are an elite group and so that can be intimidating. But then do you find sometimes you don't want to be on that pedestal or that in that group, or do you feel, yeah, I'm here, I'm totally where I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm definitely where I'm supposed to be, but if you asked me this a couple of weeks ago, before I went to Fenvasion in Florida, I probably would have been a little more uneasy about that. But it was a thing that I just knew I needed to be at and maybe I needed to go there to really feel like I did belong, cause I think I was feeling like I didn't like. Okay, I have this thing and I know I swear they say I earned it and I can do all the things, but I still suck sometimes Like I'm not in for my but you don't make bad mistakes, remember.
Speaker 2:I'm not invincible and I can still. I still get my butt beat, sometimes by a purple belt or a blue belt. That's really young and maybe she's got some wrestling skills or gosh, I don't know if they just have energy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there are some things that come and go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're training five days a week. So really not trying to come learning, to really not compare myself or notice that I have a moment I did and I'm like, okay, why is that? Okay, they're training for five days a week. And you know all these other things going on in my life and where, how I want to show up in my family. I'm training two days a week, lucky if I get three. So I'm just not going to be at that level or be able to push out results like that and it's so hard, it's so hard to poo on myself if that kind of happens, especially going to a big tournament like Medusa and the EBI qualifiers to get there.
Speaker 2:Like how did, how did they get on my back so fast?
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I can't-. You're talking about.
Speaker 1:Medusa, because that's a big deal to go to to train for takes so much. Sometimes you have to pull yourself out of your regular to really focus on. You know your goals for such a competition. So talk me down the path of Medusa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually, I think I had just created a goal for myself that I wanted to compete on a bigger stage and I knew that was the kind of next level and our coach is awesome. We just have to be like, hey, I'm ready, put me in coach, I want to go do that. And I know myself that when I make a decision and I say that I want to do something, then I'm going to make sure I do all the things to get there. And sometimes I wasn't training as much because I'm really trying to advance the wedding business side.
Speaker 2:On that Saturdays Something from one thing to another, like I've got to answer inquiries and do the inbox, so if I want to expand there, then I'm taking away from Jiu Jitsu. So I have to make the decision like, okay, this is, I have these many weeks. I want to make a focus on Jiu Jitsu. I'm going to commit to this event and we're going to train hard and I actually really love training for competition there is. It's such a great feeling to have your team behind you. I'm eating better, I'm coming into train all the time, I'm making connections, Like stuff is going good. The whole team is behind you. They're helping you train, they're giving you good looks, good examples of what's going to happen, because it's like EBI overtime scenarios where someone starts on your back, so how fast can you escape? And it just feels nice. I think it just feels nice when there's all this energy and people rallying behind you to go do a thing and you just hope to make them proud.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you talked about family. That's tough. You don't just get to say, okay, peace out, I'm going to go do this myself and everybody fend for themselves. So how do you handle the balance with family to be able to do both sides of your life Actually, three sides of your life, probably more yeah, a few, many times.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what's nice about calling that in for myself. There'll be times when I'm like, okay, I'm calling in this, this is for me, I'm going to go do this competition and I will set them up as best that I can. We have a wonderful we call her our Grammy nanny, and she lives with us now and it's really nice that she can catch all those in between times or like anything, if I need to run out or if I'm running late or if I need to go extra training. And she understands that when I'm training for a tournament, I'm going to go as much as possible with time for rest and staying healthy.
Speaker 2:And they do, they just lose me for a bit and but then afterwards, like the good old mom, guilt kicks in and I just then I feel bad, they haven't seen me or haven't spent a lot of time with them. So it's, I like to say, balance, cause that's not real. I feel like I just jump from one corner when it starts to go down enough, and I'm like and I have to jump over to the next side and give them lots of attention and remind them that this is what they can do too. It's not just about giving your whole life over to your kids, like Jujitsu, has helped me maintain a good amount of my identity in being a mom. I didn't just get all sucked away into being this person. That's all about the kids and running them to 10 million different places and what are they doing. I got to keep some for myself, so I do hope that through that they get to see that's important and they do that when it's their turn.
Speaker 1:That's a pretty powerful message. That's a good one, because you did mention mom guilt, so you're not immune to that. But you're also quite an example of a keep doing, keep finding your passion. So have your kids old enough to have developed some passions of their own.
Speaker 2:I think so. My oldest. She's seven, so she's in gymnastics and it's her competition season right now. So she competes from January through March and this is our first season doing it. So it's been very interesting to see how I went from being a gymnast and I'm just like trying not to be that stage mom kind of thing. I'm doing pretty good there. Mosey, we had some pretty proud moments recently because we had an ice storm and she couldn't get to practice and she didn't do the greatest on her very first competition Rep number one. Okay, learning that there's a timer on the beam guy, we're like angry little man. What are you doing? Why are you making me so sad?
Speaker 1:But it's better to learn that at seven than at 17.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. So we just practiced at home and it was such a joy to me, especially when she did so good in beam. The next time she was actually I think she led her group, like she led her teammates in that, and she got on the podium. So she got to see that direct correlation with hey. If you put in a little more time at home and you focus on these certain skills pointing your toes, squeezing your knees, things like that it'll translate to the other events as well, not just beam. So it was fun to get to connect to her on that. So I think she's growing a passion for gymnastics.
Speaker 2:I try to be wary of pushing. I don't wanna push. People always ask are they doing jujitsu? Are they getting into jujitsu? Like no, not yet. I want them to come to it later if they want to. My little one she's three, she's a little more monster-y, she's a little fighter. I think she might. I can't wait to take her to a little class because I think she might like it a little bit more. She's rough and tumble. I hear that's like second child syndrome too, like they have to be more rough. They're like pay attention to me, I'm also here that she'll get into that, but maybe Leana will. She's shown some interest in doing more of kickboxing type of stuff, so from gymnast to kickboxing and then maybe she'll get there.
Speaker 1:What it's doing and finding and allowing you to explore. Did your mom allow you to explore? Imagine Ayana dance, organized five days today, on December 6th.
Speaker 2:I guess it's weird because she was into basketball but she never took me out for basketball. I like to do the game. From what I remember, she just says oh, you never asked so. I'm like okay, that's terrible, but I did get really good at shooting a basketball. I can't dribble for beans and do that whole exchange, but I can be my husband at horse the things that count in life.
Speaker 1:Right, I can't do that. You've got all of these things that take a lot of time. Your profession takes a lot of time of learning skills and practice. Your sport takes a lot of time, skills, practice, and then you have these. Both of them end in a very visual end. The person is happy with what they have. Your own stage you win or you lose, or you learn something. So what did Medusa feel like for you when you were on the stage and that whole process was going?
Speaker 2:I think I was just really happy to be able to go there, and I know that people like to boo oh, I didn't come to just be a part.
Speaker 2:But I know I'm not the greatest in the world and to me it was just a drop in the tank of an experience of. This is what the big stage is like, this is what the lights are like, this is what the energy is, this is what cutting weight is what traveling to a tournament is, and never mind like going up against these really amazing women and not being able to travel too much to train. I really wanted to see where I was at, skill-wise, compared to these ladies too. It was a great experience to be at and I made friends with a few of them, which was really nice too. But I'm pretty friendly. I could make friends anywhere, especially with powerful Jiu Jitsu ladies, but I just I remember like really telling myself it was the longest wait ever. Let me tell you, while I was on the stage, like waiting to go and their commercials running, I couldn't get any longer, but just I deserved to be there.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah, so do you have to talk to yourself like that sometimes? Oh, definitely. I do deserve this, and then give yourself the litany of reasons why.
Speaker 2:You are just trying to make me cry.
Speaker 1:I'm really not.
Speaker 2:I know, yeah, I think definitely I have to remind myself that I deserve to be there, that I'm good enough. I do battle with a lot of not enoughness in any area, and it goes hand in hand with, like, my perfectionism and fear of judgment. So all of these things have been good for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they really go down to the core. I cannot fathom the not enoughness from you. I just can't, and I guess it's outside looking in, because you seem to just have major determination. So would you say that the obstacle that just. Is there one thing of a particular, that just is the boulder that's in your path, and is it the having to convince yourself that you're enough? And do you have any idea why?
Speaker 2:I, I've been on a self healing journey for a long time and I do think that there's a part of it realizing, now that I've been on it so long, that a part of it is that perfectionism and that small voice that kind of tells you like, oh, you haven't done enough work just yet, like you're not perfect enough to have a course, there's more things to fix. And even in you know that spiritual and confidence realm, I just, I think I didn't. I can't say that I lived a terrible childhood. I just it and I don't remember. I couldn't tell you that there was one traumatic event, but from what I've learned now, I think I had a good amount of emotional abandonment. I'm very emotional. Both of my girls are too. I'm like, yeah, sorry, I gave you some. I know that they just, we just run really strong and I'm it's so obvious I'll be yelling and there's just this energy that just has to get out and move. So it's, it's obvious and there's no timing, don't tell me there's a good timer of place, because it's happening, live.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If the people around you parents, or I'm trying to work with some people around us right now to have the capacity to like either stay in that space for you and remind you that you're not alone as you're processing this, and I think people just didn't for me when I was younger. So I got emotionally trained to either not be as emotional which that doesn't make sense because I'm still emotional but that I might be rejected if I was emotional or made a mistake. Right, like very people pleasing, I will chameleon myself to be accepted and I don't know if that's. It's definitely a blessing and a curse, because I curse wise. I would say sometimes I don't, I wouldn't know exactly what kind of personality I am or I'm afraid to show it and then a blessing in the ways of like my clientele. They're all different, so I do change personalities to who sits in the chair so we can vibe.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I don't know, I've just been on a journey like a long one and had a lot of good influence by people that I listened to. I feel a lot wiser in that realm and I feel like I have the capacity to be there for others who are going through the same stuff.
Speaker 1:And as you get in these leadership roles being a black belt, being an instructor, being at the event that you ladies were at in Florida of just encouraging those that are coming in that really you've gotten yourself into a with a platform of being able to help and influence but yet be vulnerable for yourself, and so that's pretty. It can be overwhelming but at the same time it can definitely grow people, grow your sport and grow, maybe in a direction Maybe you didn't know you were headed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it feels like I've been cooking up something for a long time and I just don't know what it is. Yet I don't think I'm at the top of my skill level of how to bring it to the masses and not even know that I even want to bring it to the masses, because sometimes I just I like being a real person, I like being the best support system or the best person I can be to the people directly around me. Yeah, I'm always checking in. Okay, sure, I can make content, but do I really care about trying to fix everybody out there? How can I just be a really great mom and a wife? Or to my teammates, and I'd rather put more energy and connecting to my friends that I can see and touch and feel and hug than worrying about content for the masses.
Speaker 1:There's only so much time. Oh, it does take time, but I would also say that somebody like you and being able to put some content out there. As long as you stay real, as long as you stay somewhat vulnerable in what you're putting out there, then people go wait what? Yeah, you mean you're not perfect while you're healing, you're not perfect while you're healing, I'm not perfect.
Speaker 2:I know really Alright.
Speaker 1:so being rich can mean a bazillion different things to everybody. In what way do you feel rich?
Speaker 2:I probably say I desire peace the most. I know that, sure, gaining, being financially rich can give you choices and in a way it can give you peace because you're not going. There's like a plane flying over me.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you can hear. I was going to say what do I hear there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're like right in line with PDX. So they do, they're gone. Okay, you can hear them. There's. No, I can still hear them.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, like I know that having the financial success can give you peace because maybe you're not stressed about the box of broken crayons. But I know that I've lived simple before. I've lived with not much before. When I was younger, remember, I'm like happy about $2. So I know that there doesn't have to be that much.
Speaker 2:If I could, just if I could just move back home and just go to the beach all the time and do jujitsu, and if I just had enough to afford my bills, I feel I'd be pretty content and that would be a good deal. I don't know, and then spend more time with the kids and actually doing stuff that I want to. There's definitely, you know, there can definitely be a rat race. You're just chasing that money and just to spend it on something else, or you get in a credit card debt and then you have to pay it off, and then you have to work some more so that you can, you know, afford that. I'm like if you could just clean this late and then and have peace and not have to do that rat race, that would be so much better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wouldn't it? So just walking in the gym, let all of that just melt away, Because I've heard people say that when they walk into the gym, they have to put down whatever it is on their mind or they're going to get hurt.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I would say most days, I guess. So, like I said, if I'm going in the morning, it's a fresh day. I'm like I come out like I have the tiger when I'm done training, but more of the world is going to weigh on me and, like I said, I'm obvious. I don't have I don't know. Sometimes I'm out of that bubble. I can just cut it off and leave it off the mat. I don't know I could be upset about anything, but I it does. Once I can get into no mind and I'm flowing and I'm doing jujitsu, then I forget about the world. I don't magically have a clean slate as soon as I walk in there, but definitely if I get to doing good jujitsu. So, yeah, I probably have to get my butt beat a little bit to stop thinking about other stuff. It is totally easy to forget about the other things that I have to do, especially like if I'm training for competition. Then, yeah, I'm not worried about messages in my inbox.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, it takes over. Have you ever missed out on anything that you really wanted to do? And if you have, what was it?
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't think I'm maybe going to Medusa this second time. I was really torn because I didn't show up very well in the qualifiers. I don't think.
Speaker 1:I didn't get.
Speaker 2:It made sense that I got asked for a special fight the first time around because I was like runner up in the qualifiers. So this time, when I didn't get there, I was like cool, it was time for me to focus on wedding stuff. So in a way, I was excited Okay, I can switch gears. I do really need to get this other stuff done. And my brain was there. And then I got asked to come for a special fight and I was just so torn and I'm like I really want to be there and I want to do it and I want to, I want redemption.
Speaker 2:And so a big part of me was probably still held back or sad. I'm like, okay, I have to put, I have to put other stuff off. And then I got injured and then it just felt like I knew that my heart wasn't all the way in it. I want to go there like I want to win. It's just something I have to get through so that I can get to what I need to focus on. And I know that's not the case for the other women that are going there, because that's they really strive to win and that's their main focus.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I got my knee busted in sideways and it took me out and I'm like the universe decided to give me what I was asking for. But still a part of me just really wanted to go back and do better, and it seems like I always miss ADCC. I'm like I'm never at the big ones that matter, because I'm either I will literally have a wedding when a competition's on or something else going on, and so I guess I do. I do. I am really bummed when I miss those big tournaments that would show me where my status is amongst all these other ladies, but I'm always wondering if I even need to do that. Well, that is tough.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, you start talking about injuries and they're beyond your control and you come back too early from an injury and you, honestly, can injure yourself to the point where you're affecting your day to day Exactly, and there's definitely like a fear of injuring it again.
Speaker 2:That can stop me from even training as hard as I should or as much, because I'm 37. So I'm not a spring chicken in this game and everything just hurts longer. And I have the kids. If I get armbar, really bad, am I going to be able to carry them, pick them up? Things like that go to work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, that's right, you use your name.
Speaker 2:And they scold me. They're like what, how did you do that? I'm like, damn well how I did that.
Speaker 1:Exactly as.
Speaker 2:I sit on my stool and practice again.
Speaker 1:Oh goodness, yeah, I've watched my kids go through some injuries and it's yeah, everybody knows how they did it. But then they ask, usually with a little sneer so was that on a mat?
Speaker 2:It's still worth it. I still love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what would you tell somebody coming in, a young lady coming in, whether they're in their teen years? Or what about the 30 year old that says you're doing it. What would a message be to them about taking it on?
Speaker 2:Number one do it. I would have everyone take a couple of weeks of jujitsu, or at least a year. Can we sign everyone up like the draft, just because?
Speaker 1:I just think it makes the world.
Speaker 2:I just think it makes great people for one. Yeah, to me also. To me it's the best self-defense martial arts. I've done stand up and I've done stand up as a self-defense martial art. And then jujitsu, and I might not be able to hit somebody enough to make them stop, but if I can create that space, get a frame in, get my body out, because most likely if somebody is attacking me, and especially if they're coming to do some not so good things, they might end up on top and what are you going to do then? There's not space to really punch them or kick them in the nuts. So how do you get out? How do you get out of being restrained and break their grip? So I think it's the best self-defense martial arts.
Speaker 2:So I think everyone, especially women, should be equipped with at least some knowledge of how to use these principles. Like I said, there's drops in the tank. Just keep adding a little overtime of things that you can do and then building that confidence and strength. I love seeing the fight grow in a woman. And no, when they first start, as soon as somebody touches their neck, they're like oh my God, I'm dying. So that they can withstand a little bit more, they can be okay in being in that uncomfortable spot and knowing that they can fight out and I think that translates off the map for sure like a thousand percent, just knowing that they have more fight, like you're stronger than you think, you can fight longer than you think, you can survive, longer than you even know, and we'll believe in you. Until you believe in you, I don't know. I just love seeing that fire grow in a person, especially women, because you're not a victim, you're not meek, you're not feeble, you can fight and you can be a force to be reckoned with, and I want that for everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that. I was going to ask you what always makes you smile and I got the biggest smile out of that comment right there of you can be a force to reckon with, and so would you say. That's pretty much your message.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we are precious, very precious and powerful beings and we each have a gift to bestow upon the worlds and the people around us. And just to be that light, be the light that you would want to see out in the world and like what to do, how to learn, how to grow that fire, like what to do, how to get there, how to become that light, how to become that ultimate you. But you can just take on the world.
Speaker 1:That's great. So you're very goal oriented. Do you have a method to your goals? Do you have a method of writing down or journaling, or is there something that you do that kind of helps you own track of your goals?
Speaker 2:Yes and no. I write many to-do lists and I never check anything off.
Speaker 1:I have to do list and I'll just add it to the next day or add something to the list that I actually did.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, who would have thought you would stump me with this question? I think I just like to better myself in little ways at a time. I'm very aware now of where maybe I have a shortcoming, like I said, like being comfortable with talking in front of people, and I feel like I get little hints from the universe and I'm like alright, and I'm scornin' in my seat, okay, and then I try to just go and do that so I wouldn't say that a big goal person, I don't write them down as much. If I was asked, if that was like an assignment, okay, I'll schedule it out and write it down, and I know to write the big goal. And then you have all these short monthly goals, all these steps in between so that you can achieve that.
Speaker 2:I probably should, probably shouldn't do that more, but otherwise I just try to float with the feeling and just see where I'm at. I'm constantly checking in where I'm at, taking an inventory of how I feel. Am I chasing the joy? Am I chasing the fun? I think that's been. My new theme is chasing the fun and I'm a big Abraham Hicks fan and trying to keep myself in high vibes so that the good things that are trying to come to me can come to me, and not that I shouldn't do anything or work hard to get there. I'm just a lot kinder on myself If I'm not nitpicking at a goal that I've told myself I have to do. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Definitely. I like that, I think we all, and I like nitpicking because I think we do that to ourselves and the outside world really isn't doing it as much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can. I've seen how setting goals like that is a symptom of that achiever, doer, achiever. I'm not enough unless I achieve it quality that some people can have, so I'm very mindful of that too. Once you figure out yourself, it's easy to see things in others.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or sometimes easy to see in others before you say it yourself. Yeah, that's why you have to have a really good group of friends that can call your BS out and just remind you of what you're supposed to be doing, even though they're not maybe not doing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you have that? Do you have a pretty good friend network?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, I do. I have like a good group of four or five besties and then I have my fun group of seven or eight of them and we just have a great time together. Besides my gym besties, but yeah, we, it's really nice to have that community of women that I can be myself, I can go and talk to, I can if I need to have a little itch session about my husband, I can have that for five minutes and then I'm like, okay, that's enough of that and we just have a good time. And some of them have kids, so it's really easy to get together and then the kids go off and play.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've always, I've always had girlfriends. I don't know what it's like for the ladies who say that they can never make female friends. I don't know what their hang up is, but I'm have been blessed enough to have girlfriends, and even the best friends that I rarely talk to, and then when I do, though, it's we're sisters, we just we miss each other, we love each other and we are just happy for them and their little lives and their corner of the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's good.
Speaker 1:We have talked about so much and just don't want to stop without saying is there something that we didn't touch on that you perhaps want to make sure?
Speaker 2:you say I don't know, I don't think. So I think it was really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was good. Not so scary, was it? So how do people follow you, get in touch with you? What kind of on?
Speaker 2:Instagram it's Renee beauty beast, with a little hyphens in between. My wedding page is at lash locks PDX locks with an LOX, so they can see my work through there. And then, of course, there's instructions on how to book. But my beauty beast page is probably the one that has like either more funny stuff or jujitsu or family yeah, just all the things of me, all the things for me.
Speaker 1:One more question for you A superpower you have at 24 hours. You can do anything with it that you want to, personally or professionally. What would the superpower be? How would you use it? And I really am always interested in why you choose it.
Speaker 2:Oh, so I think in listening to some of your podcasts I've heard this question and so what would I want to have? And I almost said like teleport, because then I can be wherever and I'm like never mind that nonsense about enjoying the journey. Like I just get there but I can't take anybody with me, as you were saying it. Now I got the vision of the little tinkerbell fairy and if I could just like dust people with like peace and joy, like as corny as that sounds, just even if they're having a hard moment, just ding and little gold sparkles and all that heaviness has just gone from them and their light and happy. That's how real that is, that's how you know.
Speaker 1:I like that. I like it. So thank you, renee, this has been fabulous.
Speaker 2:Thank you.