A Journey of Manifestation, Healing, and Change - A conversation with Sound Healer Tess Palma-Martinez

In this episode of "Can We Start Over The" podcast, Lindsey interviews Tess Palma-Martinez, a sound healer, meditation teacher, and mentor based in LA. Tess shares her starting over story, which began during the lockdown in 2020.  She sold all her belongings, went on a solo road trip for four months, and eventually ended up in Los Angeles. Tess also shares her healing journey with her estranged father and how it helped her accept the past and start anew. The interview also covers Tess's sound healing work, workshops, and wellness brand Completely Golden.

Follow @completelygolden to stay up to date with Tess's offerings and checkout her website to work with her. 

Lindsey is opening limited space in her embodied healing coaching program, DIVE INTO YOUR WHOLENESS. This unique  3-month one on one coaching program combines somatic embodiment, mindfulness, inner child parts work, spiritual connection, and sound healing so you can reprogram your deeply held beliefs, heal on all levels and practice the art of surrendering to the flow of life. 

You can meet yourself in love and trust your path. You've spent so much time waiting for permission. You're ready, and the time to dive in is NOW. Schedule a completely free info session HERE. 

Don't forget To Be Magnetic is offering its 6-week Magnetic Self Challenge, and there's still time to join! Use the code LINDSEY8986 to save 15% on your membership to the To Be Magnetic and start to meet and embody your magnetic, authentic self. 

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Transcript

 Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Can We Start Over The podcast. My name is Brit. My name's Lindsay. Welcome everybody. If you're just tuning in, this is a podcast about how Lindsay and I sold everything and took our three kids around the world for a year to find a new home. That's right. And along the way we're talking to other people who have had big changes in their lives 

as well.

Yeah. People who've done amazing things started over, went to new places they've never been before. And actually today's interview is someone that did just that. Tess Palma Martinez is a sound healer, a meditation teacher, and a mentor. She's incredible and she's based in la It was a great interview. Loved talking to her, and I'm really excited to share it with you all today.

Awesome. 

Well, we're coming to you from Melbourne. We're still in Melbourne. Still in Melbourne. Just like last week. Uh, this is our second week here. It's been almost two weeks that we've been here and we are in a new Airbnb. If you listened last week, we told you about our old one and how we were too loud for the neighbors.

Did we? I think so. Little bit. Well, if we didn't, uh, that was the deal. We were upstairs in a very old fourplex and our kids are running back and forth constantly and there's no stopping that. So we were getting some, uh, passive aggressive notes on a dry erase board in the common hallway from the neighbors.

Not a whole lot we could do about it, but we, um, figured out a way out of that place and into a new place. And the new place is awesome. 

Yeah. Worked it out feels like ancient history. Yeah. I don't know. Like it didn't even happen. Sure. So, but it did happen. But who cares? 

What does what Yeah. Well, the way I see I'm feeling it is that I'm very comfortable now.

When I was over there having to tell the kids to be quiet every three seconds, that was took a big toll on me. So, right. Being here is very nice. I'm feeling much better. No, 

that, that's really true. Me too. I know. I, I guess the lesson there is kind of like, okay, how long do you wanna suffer? Through something that is completely within your control to change.

And I just kind of reminds me of how we so often as humans, I mean I do this all the time. I'm raising my hand how we so often like choose to be the victim in a situation and just be like, oh, this neighbor's an asshole. Oh, what are we gonna do? Oh, we have to be quiet and this and that. And then you can just take a step back and say, oh, I can change this.

Or I can, I can choose. I can choose to be grateful for it. Mm-hmm. And I can also change it. Yeah. I don't need to be stuck in the pity party of being the victim. Right. So that's what we did. We said, Hey, let's just make this better for everyone. Mm-hmm. We don't wanna hate this neighbor. This neighbor doesn't wanna hate us.

Let's go somewhere else. Right. 

And we did it. We're just down the street. So we're still in a cool neighborhood that we like. Uh, it is still freezing 

cold. It is fully winter. 

We've chased winter around the globe. Um, and that's where we're at. That's what we're doing. Uh, I'm enjoying it still. I like it here even though it's cold as hell.

Yeah, I do like it here and it is hard for me. There we go. There. I'm gonna choose the victim right now and say that when it is, when I'm cold, I can have a hard time just really being like, this is enjoyable. Yeah. Just, it's hard for me to get there. Right. I get that. Or a lot of, maybe a lot of other buckets need to be filled for me to be like, all right.

And it's cold. Great. Yeah. 

Another way that I'm feeling better this week is, uh, I've kind of surrendered to. Not worrying about what's next. Same. Yeah. And that feels really good too. I think Lindsay and I both for the past few months have been like, what are we doing? Where are we going? And we've had travel fatigue, maybe not 

planning few months.

Fatigue. Sorry to interrupt you. Yeah, but I think it just feels, I mean, f a few months ago we were in California, so Oh wow. We've, it's been less than two months since we were even in Hawaii. Feels like a 

lifetime. Weird. Uh, okay. Well for a seemingly long time we've been feeling pretty wonky and now I'm feeling a lot better cuz I'm like, screw it.

It's just, it's gonna happen as it happens. Yeah. I'm sick of like looking at flights and looking at places and worrying about where we're gonna go. Am I gonna like it? Am I not gonna like it? Well, I'm right here not liking where I'm at. In a place that I really like 

because of that. Right, exactly. Exactly.

I've been hyper-focused on what's the next thing. Right. And I'm 

not saying that I'm not gonna plan things, but I'm just gonna take it less seriously and not worry about it. 

Yeah. I think what happens to me is like the indecisiveness takes hold and then it becomes, oh, I'm planning. But you're really just like hyper anxiously cycling through this idea and that idea.

Right. And this idea and that idea. It's like you're not planning shit. Yeah. You're just like letting your anxiety run wild on your computer or whatever. Cuz if you were planning, you would say, I wanna go here. You would get online, you would book the ticket. Again, when I say you, I'm actually talking to me.

I would get online, I would book the ticket, then I would book the place and then it would be planned. Yeah. But like is this, and it's, I guarantee you it probably is. This happens. 10000% more than it would've 20 years ago. But it's this idea of researching. Mm-hmm. Like, let's research the best place, the best ticket price.

Let's research this and let's research that because we have the access to any information at the, at our fingertips. And bitch, you're not researching. That ain't research. You need to go to the library. 

Uh, that's good. Um, another thing is I've been really missing having physical things. Oh, really? Yeah. Um, incense?

Haven't had incense. I know that's one thing. Mm-hmm. That's a weird one. Uh, I Ms. Good smells. Mm-hmm. And now we're just going from like Airbnb to Airbnb, so the smells change from each place, so there's no familiar smell, you know? Yeah. 

That's interesting. 

Uh, so maybe if I just get. This incense and take it everywhere.

I'll have one familiar smell in the house. Um, there's that, and I'm also just, I feel like I'm looking at guitars again. Oh, really? You know, like, Ooh, what guitar am I gonna get when I, you know, have a place to put it. Huh. Um, so I don't know if that's good or bad, uh, but it lets me know that I am thinking about having a home.

Yeah. Sounds like distraction, but, mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, 

might be. 

Yeah. I think if you're looking at, at a guitar you might buy in six months. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably a distraction. You're probably right. Not that you can't window shop from time to time. Yeah. Kind of falls back into that research overload thing.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, I'm feeling good this week. I'm actually feeling pretty great. I am really glad to be in a new space. I'm feeling like pretty centered. I'm feeling like back in my practices. I also feel like I've kind of let go of the idea of where's what's next, or even here's exactly how this is gonna play out.

Cuz that's kind of where my mind can be. Like, we're on this big adventure and there has to be this huge payoff. What's the payoff? I don't know what the payoff is, and then I can spin out. Yeah. And first of all, the payoff is the experience and the payoff is the unknown. Mm-hmm. Like if you know it, then it's not really a payoff.

Yeah. So that's where I am right now. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Feeling good. Feeling good. One thing I've been doing for the last couple weeks that I think has been adding to my general sense of ease is using to be magnetic. I've been a member for about four years, and I've seen some pretty incredible changes in my life with this tool in my toolkit.

But to be magnetic is a manifestation program, and that uses neuroplasticity and self hypnosis to actually, I identify your blocks, find your authentic self and start manifesting a life you've always wanted. I think when people hear the word manifestation, they either think this is like woo woo, hokey nonsense, or they have this idea that it's all about just.

Visioning your new life and then it comes true like it's some kind of magic wand. The difference about two B magnetic is that this actually takes into account the unlayering process of any past pain, shame, and programming that we hold onto that might be in between you and your dream life and what you wanna create.

So it's really grounded. It's backed by neuroscience and it's proven to drive real and lasting results. Two B magnetic is offering their summer magnetic self challenge, which is six weeks to finding unlayering and living as your magnetic self. I'm doing the challenge right now. It's amazing. We're just in the first week, so if you wanna join, there's still time.

If you're not a Pathway member, you can save 15% off by using the code Lindsay 8 9 86 l i n d s e y 8 9 86. You can also find the link and the code in the show notes. Join it, find your magnetic self, and start living your dream life. Tess and I actually talk a lot in this interview about how we've both used to be magnetic, how we both have benefited from it so much.

She teaches manifestation workshops in la, which is where I met her at one of the workshops she was teaching. She's the founder of Completely Golden, which is a spiritual lifestyle and wellness brand that offers a path to aligning with your authentic self. And she has an array of. Sessions and workshops that she offers, you can find on her website completely golden.com and make sure you're also following her on Instagram at completely golden.

Let's get into the interview. It's really good. All right, let's do it. Well, thank you so much for being here, Tess. Well, thanks for having me on a, on a wonky day, but now we just get to like settle in and chat, so it's good hopefully. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So we talk a lot about starting over because that's what we are doing.

Brit and I and our kids, we're left Texas and we're traveling the world, and so we are really interested in hearing first what's, what was your starting over story when you, I mean, you've done a lot of things already and I, I wonder, I guess we'll just start with you leaving New York to la. And how, what that process was for 

you.

Sure. So I do want to just clarify or like put a little marker down for people that I, each person is different and I, my own person, I'm very well versed with change. I really like change and that's coming from just my childhood experience was not so stable and so there was a lot of change happening all the time.

And I be, that became the norm for me. And so to a point, I think sometimes I still struggle with this, but not changing things too much or too quickly can be a struggle too. Like when you're used to everything changing, then you might not let the roots anchor down as deep as otherwise, but, so just that little precursor.

Yeah. Um, yes, I have changed a lot in my life and. Uh, so it was 2020. It was July of the lockdown, and everyone had a completely unique experience to that. And mine was that. It was, I always say it was the best time of my life. It was like all of my dreams came true as far as all of my financial needs were taken care of.

I had, my job was paused, and so I was receiving government money and I had absolutely no responsibilities whatsoever, and I could utilize my day however I wanted to. I was single at the time. I don't have children. It was just me living in my apartment and having all of these safety nets around me, or it's like, wow, I don't have to think about money or how I'm gonna pay my bills, or if I can't make my rent.

Like there's a safety net around that as well. And so I just created this whole environment for myself that. Really allowed me to bloom. And within that I started utilizing, uh, it's called two B Magnetic, it's a self-led hypnosis program. And I started July of 2020 and it really shook up my entire life.

So from when was it until July was just that like sweet unknown of quarantine starting July, I was doing this hypnosis and everything changed. It was like a light bulb went off for my life, and I could see all of my limitations. I could see things from my past that were holding me back. I also could see that my life in that moment was not what I wanted in any respect.

I was in a on and off, again, three year relationship with an extreme avoidant person that just, it was not ever gonna go anywhere, but I was wanting it to, I was opening a restaurant with an investor. And while that was paused, we were still doing some work, but it just wasn't, it wasn't mapping out to be beneficial for me.

In the end, it was more beneficial for them. And then also, uh, my dad is from Brazil. I really got a lot of his Brazilian genes and living in upstate New York my entire life struggling with winter was just like the bane of my existence. I, it was so terrible I couldn't do it. And it was July and I could see the impending like, oh, October or November and the winter is coming.

And so I just decided to give it all up. I ended the relationship. I handed over the restaurant to the investors and I sold all of my belongings. I got into my car. And I just went on a solo road trip for four months stopping in any city that called to me, 

Hey, I have a question for you. Have you fallen out of step with yourself?

Do you find yourself striving for more and more, and yet you're just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere? Do you crave a life of more love and joy and creativity? There's something in you that knows there's more to life, and maybe you're just confused or you're exhausted, so you don't know where to start.

Your most authentic nature is that you are a piece of infinite consciousness. A part of the universe that has no beginning and no end. There's no way that this is a mistake. You are here now to do something amazing with your life, to be more in tune with your inner guidance, to do more loving life fully and completely.

And I wanna walk with you along that path, which is why I am opening up. Very limited space in my one-to-one Embodied Healing program. This is a highly intimate and in-depth three month container. Just imagine the next few months could be a vehicle for your highest expression and transformation. You could embody love and live in trust.

That source is guiding you to create something amazing, or you could stay where you are, but maybe you're ready to dive in. Maybe you're ready to start trusting your body's wisdom to start unlayering these old programs that you have. Maybe you're ready to start living in the present moment. Fully and to be loving what you see every day.

My clients have amazing breakthroughs, period. Three months from now, you could be living in a new place, have a new job, a completely new experience, all because you said yes to committing to healing your old wounds. And to living in your body. I combine somatic embodiment, mindfulness, inner child healing and spiritual connection so that you can reprogram deeply held beliefs, heal on many levels, and practice the art of surrendering to the flow of life.

If you're done waiting for permission, if you've spent enough time looking for external validation, you are ready and your time to dive in is right now. Your life will be different after this experience. You will know and trust your body. If you are ready to dive in and you wanna learn more, follow the link in our show notes to schedule a short introduction call with me and now back to the show.

So I stopped in places that seemed interesting to me, whether I had heard about it previously or I had some kind of deeper connection. And so I started my road trip in. October of 2020. So I gave myself a few months and started, I went up to Portland, Maine, said kind of a goodbye to some family, went down to Maryland, saw a friend, and then from there it was like, okay, where do I want to go?

But I felt this pole out west. And if I'm really honest with myself, way deep down, I knew that I was gonna end up in Los Angeles, but I, it wasn't conscious. So I went to Nashville just because I had heard that that's a cool town. I went to New Orleans, um, because that is where my dad went when he, so my dad left our family when I was four, and I never had a relationship with him.

And he moved to New Orleans. And so I always had kind of this little ping of like, well, what was there that took him away from me? Mm-hmm. And so I wanted to go and just explore it. And I'm so grateful that I did. But as a sent, sent, As a sensitive person, the, just the energy of New Orleans was way too intense for me and I stayed there for a week.

It's a very beautiful landscape, but otherwise the energy was just way, way too intense. And then from there, my half sister, which was my dad's first child, was following me on Instagram and I guess had seen that I was doing this road trip and told my dad that I was doing the road trip and he called me and it.

So I hadn't had a relationship with him since I was four and I was now 32. And I get the call from my dad and he's just like, I hear you're on a road trip and I live in Houston, Texas. Will you please stop and see me? And so I did and it was so healing in so many ways that I couldn't even have expected.

And I won't get into like that nitty gritty, but it really helped to shift things and almost heal that previous wound so that I could start again. Yeah. It kind of, that scab or that wound like really was able to receive the healing salve that it needed and the acceptance that it needed to fully close that door and just be like, okay, I don't, I'm not lamenting for that relationship anymore.

I'm not wondering who I would've been if he had been in my life. I can just accept it for what it is. And now we talk once a week and we ha we're starting our own new relationship. So that was fantastic. But after that I continued on and I eventually landed in Los Angeles and it just felt like a full body Yes.

When I got here. Mm-hmm. The smell, the warmth in the middle of the winter, the, I mean the landscape being close to the ocean, all of the possibility. And I am a very spiritual person and Los Angeles ha is very spiritual. They are so much more accepting of spiritual practices than back home in New York. So at the time I was still working as a chef and I really quickly got connected with a high profile producer in Hollywood and was working with that family for about a year, cooking for every a-list celebrity you can imagine.

And just feeling that, um, excitement within myself of like, oh wow, I have made it. That's kind of what it felt like, right? And I was able to make enough money to pay off. I think I paid $60,000 of debt in eight months. That's amazing. I paid off my car. I was able to save $20,000. And I, again, similar mirroring to that time in quarantine.

I had that safety net of finances. Mm-hmm. I was being supported and it was like, okay, now I can just like do what I feel called to do all of my free time. I think any job I've ever had is true for this, but all of my free time I was spending in the infrared sauna or doing cold plunge or meditating or going to a yoga class or a sound bath, or doing my own sound healing or reading about the moon phases and Oracle cards and all of that.

More spiritually minded wellness than 2022. It was January 3rd and I woke up with a ruptured ovarian cyst. I didn't know it at the time, but I had to be rushed to the emergency room. For anyone that doesn't know about this, they're extremely painful. Doctor told me at the ER that they're more painful than childbirth and it.

In that moment, they were able to diagnose me with P C O S, which is polycystic ovarian syndrome, as well as endometriosis, which for anyone that doesn't know, polycystic ovarian syndrome means that you produce multiple cysts on your ovaries. And then endometriosis is when your menstruation back flows.

And instead of coming out, as most people would expect, it flows backwards through the fallopian tubes and then pools back into the ovaries. So all of this was very alarming. They said I needed to be rushed into surgery. Um, but of course, because of our healthcare system, it took about four months. And in that four month time, I lost all of my clients.

The family that I was working for, let me go. Any of my other chefing clients weren't, they didn't either need my services or they, um, didn't want to. Knowing that I had a surgery date they didn't wanna hire me on and all of that. So then all of a sudden I have no work and I'm in this holding pattern. So I just turned to my spiritual practices even more and I turned to sound healing even more.

I felt intuitively pulled to them. I knew that they were going to heal me. The frequencies were going to bring that harmonic resonance back into my body. And I did them every single day for four months while I waited, I also, uh, had a conversation with my ancestors and they suggested that I start connecting with cherries as much as possible.

And so luckily we were in cherry season and I was just eating fresh cherries all the time and I was drinking fresh cherry juice and, um, had found through Google that cherries are really beneficial for blood flow and the reproductive organs. So those are the two things that I turned to mostly as well as my meditation practice.

And I went in for surgery, I have the scars to prove it. And I came out and the OB had told me that everything was gone, that he didn't know what I had done. He wasn't necessarily interested in what I had done, but to keep doing that. Wow. And that's when I knew that I needed, I let go of being a chef and I just turned fully into sound healing and helping to bring that frequency and that healing to other people.

So that's the backstory up to date. 

That's amazing. Wow. I love it. Uh, how incredible. So then let's talk a little bit about what you teach now with sound, but also with manifestation. Because you teach this real, and you mentioned to be magnetic. I'm very familiar. I used yeah. For several years to be magnetic.

I love it. And so I'm just, I'm interested in how you, you manifested this new timeline for yourself, and so how do you use that to teach pe, teach your students, your clients, like a really grounded and safe manifestation process? 

Yeah, so for anyone who has utilized tbm, which is to be magnetic, you understand that they have certain components and that it's a neuro based hypnosis manifestation process.

So for those of you who are not familiar, what that means is a lot of manifestation is talked about as far as thinking positive, creating the vision board and acting as if. And all of those are extremely superficial. So unless you are addressing the subconscious projection of your reality, nothing is gonna change.

And you might end up, if you're acting as if, and you're like, I wanna be that rich lady that I know I am inside, and then you start buying a bunch of stuff, all that's gonna happen is you're gonna have that stuff, you're gonna get really into debt and you're gonna probably have a low, lower self-worth because nothing is really clicking.

If you are utilizing the think positive, it ends up just being a like, almost like a bug or a looping thought in your mind, but it's not addressing how you are perceiving reality. So yeah, you can say that I'm gonna manifest my Malibu house until you're blue in the face. It's not gonna happen because you're not at that.

Frequency, you're not able to see the reality where that could happen for yourself. And then vision boards. Vision boards are really fun. And I love vision boards. I, I do a vision board workshop every new year while teaching these deeper manifestation techniques because you're just using a vision board on its own.

It's, it's very pretty. It's a fun activity, but there's no direct connection to that, that beach sunset. And then two random people holding hands while they're taking a stroll. And like all of this information doesn't make sense to the subconscious. So how manifestation works in line with to be magnetic.

And then also how I've developed it on my own is through repetition. So, By accessing a lower brain wave state, and this can be achieved through sound healing. That's why I love sound healing so much because the frequency of the bowls are actually in training your brain to a slower wave. So ideally, you would be accessing the theta brain state.

This is also known as the flow zone. So if you've ever been painting or dancing or in a conversation with a friend and then all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, what time is it? And hours have gone by. During that time you were in the flow zone, you were accessing the theta brainwave state. So when this is happening, you're subconscious.

Is forward, your conscious mind, your ego is in the backseat. And when the subconscious is forward, subconscious is 98% of your brain power. This is where everything is stored. All of your bodily functions, your lungs breathing, your heart beating your mouth salivating. Everything physically is connected to the subconscious, but then also every way that you perceive reality is ingrained in that subconscious.

And it's now proven that those foundational years from zero to seven years old, you are learning about life. You are a baby into a child, and people are showing you what you need to do to stay alive. And so while you're absorbing all of this information, you are perceiving not only the things that your immediate family is telling you, but you're also perceiving the energy that they're admitting.

They might be saying one thing and then energetically feeling another. You're also witnessing the neighborhood that you grew up in. You're having interactions in the school system. However, that was if you were homeschool, public school, private school, all of those teachers, those other kids, all of this is feeding you information.

Then we're also part of a global society where we have all of these norms that we have to fit into. We have gender roles that many people are. Shifting now, but I grew up heavily in that gender rolled space, and then movies, media, songs. All of this information is getting programmed into your mind. That Disney Princess phenomenon that more people are talking about right now.

It's like, oh, when I meet my prince, he'll save me and then happily ever after. And the story's over like that. It's just so not realistic. But people have a hard time in relationships because that's what they grew up watching. Mm-hmm. That's what they expect. So this is literally, your current life is the printout of your subconscious reality.

Everything that you believe is sh being showcased in your life right now. And so a lot of people feel like they're lost or they don't know they can't, they're out of control. They don't know how to change things. But through hypnosis, Through these different practices, you can, you literally can change your entire life.

And that's what happened to me. July, 2020 when the lights turned on, I was like, oh my God, I am somewhere that doesn't feel right for me at all. And over the last three years, I've really honed in on my power, my power to change and manipulate my own reality. Just by cultivating this, I like to call it, and I'm sure I heard it somewhere, I don't know where.

It's called the observer mindset. So the observer is this, it's kind of this seat of your subconscious. It's this part of your mind that is completely objective. There's no judgment, and it has total loving acceptance for everything that is. Everything that you are within yourself, everything that is outside of your control, outside of your life.

Once you can cultivate the observer part of your mind, that's when you get the reins. That's when you take the control center and it's like, okay, if I don't feel attached to this specific outcome, if I don't feel triggered when this happens, then I can begin to dance around it. I can change it, I can move it in my favor, but it takes practice.

So neural pathways in the brain, we have these neural synapses, and that is what's firing all the information that's happening, that's happening to that connection with your heart, saying, heartbeat, let's go beat, beat, beat, beat forever. You're in entire life. But we're also having these neural pathways firing in every interaction that we have, all of the senses that we have, everything that we are perceiving has a neural pathway.

So if you look at the Grand Canyon, Grand Canyon was one of my stops on my road trip, and it was so huge that it was actually difficult for my eyes to perceive the entire thing at once. It was really, I like kept blinking and squinting and rubbing my eyes and there was so much depth and space and color and range, and that was formed by water over so many millions and billions of years that that is like ingrained.

So imagine that being a neural pathway that you picked up when you were two years old for whatever you wanna connect that to, and all of a sudden you're like, Ooh, I have this new power. I'm going to change my neural pathway. And you start to create a new synapse in a different direction that's gonna be like a tiny little scratch in the sand with a stick.

You have to keep ingraining that. Because the pathway that's as big as the Grand Canyon, that's gonna, that's gonna stay, that's gonna be difficult to change. You can't expect that it's just gonna overnight be done or have that aha moment. Not to say that that doesn't happen. Sometimes that does, and you will feel that physically in your brain, but that's a different conversation.

Um, so you have to practice it, that repetitive motion. You can do this through meditation, you can do this through a hypnosis practice. I like to utilize to be magnetic because they're all pre-recorded hypnosis. I can just plug it in. I subconscious, here's that music, and it comes immediately forward. It's like, all right, I know what we're doing and I can just continue to carve that new neural pathway helping me to shift to this other reality.

Mm. So that's kind of the surmise of Yeah, that process of manifestation. 

It's, it's amazing and I really appreciate that you mentioned the, this observer, like this inner observer that we all have, especially that it's, it is loving awareness. It, it loves everything that is because I think that there's a lot of people like coming to manifestation or some spiritual practices with, um, like with a personal development mindset that personal development is great and it can become, I'm not doing it right.

I'm not, I'm not getting it right. I'm not good at this. It's another thing we're not good at and that's why I really appreciate that you mentioned that because like people that I work with since I work in, like in somatic, I mean I like kind of mix somatic mindfulness and the spiritual connection with sound healing too.

And there's just a lot of people that don't feel safe in their bodies. First, so how are so they're not connected to that observer. There's no trust there. And that's what I think is so amazing about hypnosis or, or any subconscious reprogramming paired with, I think paired with other like spiritual practices, sound healing meditation because it creates this safety in our bodies.

And then it's like, oh, but now I do believe it. And I think that's the difference between those kind of more, I'll say pop manifestation surface level, like those, those probably work for, they definitely work for people, but those people have like in some way or whatever, have cultivated some safety and trust in their body first, I think.

Does that make sense? 

Yeah, that's an interesting correlation. And I think definitely. And the, so the body, when most people are in a sympathetic nervous system state, that's when your body is pumping. Cortisol also knows as a stress hormone, although cortisol is also really important for other productions of things within the body.

So it's not a bad thing. But when we can shift into that parasympathetic state, which is the rest and digest, or stay and play, where you just feel safe to be in the present moment, to be with yourself. But that takes time. And I think you're right that in this society, in the wellness space, it's so much about, I need to be healed, I need to be fixed.

And you don't. Mm-hmm. Right. You need to accept yourself. Mm-hmm. That's what has to happen. And. The observer is there for that. And so in my work, I am kind of known as the void space person. I love taking people down into the depths of their subconscious and, and so that they can build that trust within that space.

I had one of my sound healer trainees, we were learning about the void and how to help other people navigate it when you're facilitating a class, because that's essentially where you're going when you're in a flow state, is this expansive space. And she got really nervous. She was like, um, I don't even really know if I wanna talk about this.

And I was just like, interesting. So you don't feel comfortable with the unknown. That's essentially what it is. So the void is this vast expanse of nothingness and everything. It's all at once. So because it's so vast and it's unknown, it can feel really chaotic and scary. So, Or it can feel like possibility and like anything is possible to the point where you can use your imagination and create your own reality.

That's where I exist now in the void. I think a lot, for most of my life, I was also afraid of it, but the more often that you connect with this subconscious space, it's like if you go into the ocean and you don't, it's your first time and you have no idea what, what is water and what is this and what salt and all of that can feel really overwhelming.

But then you keep going in and you're like, oh yeah, now I know what the water is, and so I'm gonna try putting my head under the water and what does it look like under there? And each time you go in, it becomes more comfortable. But you have to give that that time and space. Space and develop patience for yourself and that I also want to connect back to manifestation is this.

Idea of taking action. And so you can do everything that we're, we're talking about. You can have your body be feeling really safe in that parasympathetic state. You can be in a meditation or in a hypnosis, you can be in an examining your entire life and have all those aha moments about why you are the way you are.

But if you don't do anything about it, then it's all kind of for naught. It's just like, oh, that's interesting, and then it dies. So I think then this like space of action can be really confusing for people and to be magnetic talks about taking action, taking aligned action. But I found personally that there wasn't enough directive in there.

I didn't really know what that meant. I was trying to shoot for really lofty ideas and so, right. I actually, within the last three months have created what I call the embodiment blueprint. And this is to help you connect with that immediate next level version of yourself. It's not the, when Tess is a millionaire and I have a sound healing empire, cuz that is so far away and maybe won't even happen if I spend time trying to connect with that.

I'm just gonna be, feel frustrated and feel like I'm not worthy. Mm-hmm. And that I'm not doing it right. So what is that just next level version of me and what are all the things that I need to do for that? So I've created this like checklist for myself and they're these tiny micro tasks. Some of them are, I have to drink a certain amount of water every day to make sure that my body is hydrated.

I need to go to sleep at the same time every night because I, my sleep schedule was all wonky and then I was really tired the next day. So there's these tiny little things, but then also I. I have to learn, I have to read a book for 10 minutes every day. Mm-hmm. I also have to do a practice called Mirror Work, where I sit in front of the mirror and I talk through any triggers that came up that day, or just witness myself and gaze into my eyes, not looking at me and picking my face apart and whatever.

But just seeing me as if I would be seen by a friend or anybody else in the world. So with all of these shifts, it's now been two months that I've been doing this. So it's been 60 days of these 11 AC action items every single day. And so much magnetism has happened from that where I am getting all of these really in huge, incredible opportunities.

And I was just hired by Converse to do a corporate sound bath for them. Wow. And yeah, and like was just hired by another really top tier spa and as a sound healer. Getting more clients every day. And so I really feel like that taking those micro action steps has supported me in a way where my body, my nervous system is like, okay, I can handle this.

Cuz if before, if I was really stressed out and converse is like, Hey, we want an hour and a half sound bath and we're gonna pay you this four figure sum, I would've freaked out. I would've been so nervous. I don't know how to do that. I've never done that before. And I might have either sabotaged it myself or it other things might have not let it to work out.

So play in the space, get to know yourself, your subconscious, why you are the way you are, and then actually do something about it. And if you're not keeping up with those tasks, it's like those new Year's re resolutions when people set that goal. And then I think the statistic came out this year where most people make it to day four, I think.

And then they 

give up. Four days. Mm-hmm. And you're gonna give up. That's why you don't feel comfortable in yourself. Mm-hmm. That's why your life isn't the way that you want it, because you're giving up on yourself after four days. Mm-hmm. You have to build trust with yourself. If you can't even trust yourself, why are other things that you want going to come to trust you to be a channel for that thing?

Yeah. That's beautiful. That people really can just underestimate the power of the small, like the small, consistent change over time. And I see, yeah, you see it all the time trying to, someone trying to start a meditation practice and then Yeah. Give it up after the first. I'm not good at it. Um, and that's, it's really just a te, it's a testament to how human we are.

And the flip side of that is that we do have the power also to stick with a small. Consistent change and it can radically shift our, our experience. 

Yeah, absolutely. And if you're not sticking with it, maybe it's too big. Exactly. And so how can you make it smaller? Exactly. One of my clients, we were trying to build out her blueprint and she kept coming at me with these lofty ideas of like, well, I wanna be a sound healer for women.

That's of domestic abuse. And I was like, awesome, let's break that down. What do you need to do to be able to be ready for that? Mm-hmm. And she was like, um, well I need to, I need to connect with the center so that I can work with them. And I was like, okay, what do you need to do before that? Cause she's still in sound teer training, so it's like, You need to maybe complete your sound Taylor training.

You need to maybe practice your singing bowls 30 minutes every single day. You also maybe need to read a li a little bit about women in domestic abuse situations. Mm-hmm. And how to speak with them. Maybe go attend a support group and hear and listen to what these women say that they need and how can you include it in that practice.

So all of these little micro things, but then also how can you show up for them? What do you need to do? Mm-hmm. Do you need to wake up at seven 30 and get dressed right away and do a meditation practice and make sure you eat a nourishing meal so that you're satiated, you can hold the space for other people.

There's, you have to peel back the layers. Like, yes, that ultimate goal is so beautiful. But then we end up not reaching that goal because we have no idea all the tiny little micro things that go into it to be able to do it. 

Right. Yeah. I, I know you also love Leo Max and me too. And he says like, okay, so if, if, if the 20 clients showed up today, how would you hold them?

Would you, do you have a booking? Like the basics? Do you have a booking system? Do you have the time? And it really, yeah, again, it brings us back to like the human aspect of start here. Let me start in my own being and have some support so that I can go out and support. Yeah. 

Um, so it's that reverse engineering of that bigger goal.

And that's what I was, I felt was missing with the two B magnetic was what is that manifestation? And, and then, okay, go take a aligned action. And I wasn't sure what that meant. And so if, if you are. Looking towards this manifestation and you're feeling like you are also confused and you don't know what actions to take.

Reverse engineering it. And if you still aren't able to hold those things, then that's when you have to have compassion for yourself. That's when you have to come back to neutral, come back to that observer part of your mind and be like, okay, I made it four days that that's how far I made it. There's no judgment.

It's just what it is. Okay. So if I wanna make it five days, what do I need to do differently? What other things do I need to bolster in so that I can make it five and then six and then seven. And then keep going. And again, like I said, if you're not able to maintain it, it's too, it's still too big. Your nervous system can't.

Fit into that space. Mm-hmm. So make it smaller for yourself. Meet you where you are, rather than trying to force yourself to meet you somewhere else. 

Right, right. Yeah. The forcing just goes back to like the, the personal development aspect of like, striving, achieve, achieve, achieve, but it's not grounded.

You're not, yeah. You, you're not there yet. It's not grounded. And that ki that reminds me also of there's a manifestation process that could potentially become like if someone gets kind of hooked on the outcome versus tru, you said this trust and like actually being safe enough to surrender to where source universe like wants to use you.

So what do you feel about that, like holding both of those. Well, 

I think having these ideas about where you wanna go in your life, anything that you feel inspired by is usually a, a signal of like, oh, hey, pay attention to this. Doesn't mean that you need to shift your whole career and into that, but it might just be something to explore.

But if you have this manifestation and you're really set on it, but then you continue to do this work, understand your subconscious, begin to shift those neural pathways, becoming more authentic with yourself, really accepting all of the P pieces of who you are, that manifestation might no longer be viable for you.

Mm mm-hmm. You might get there and be like, actually, I don't want this at all. I don't want this anymore. I always did. And then you realize, oh, somebody told me that I should want this. Mm-hmm. Or I saw somebody else that I was inspired by and they had this, so I thought I needed to also, So when you continue this path, just always having that sense of trust that wherever you're being directed is the right place for you.

Mm-hmm. Even if it feels really difficult. I recently was talking to a client and he is very new to all of this, and just was really struggling with the idea of if there is this divine source or if there is this ability to work within the subconscious and create my own reality, why do bad things happen?

Mm. And I said, why do you think that they're bad? And he just, he kind of paused and he was, it was like equally confusion and, oh my God, whoa. Like mm-hmm. Revelation. So we see things as bad, like different things that happen within society, different natural disasters, death or loss of a relationship or job as bad.

We're told and taught that those things are bad. However, if you're really connected to that observer part of your mind, you know that it just is right. It isn't good or bad, it just is. This is what's happening and it's how you relate to it. Things that we perceive as bad, we relate to as difficult. This is difficult for me to maneuver.

This is difficult for me to accept, so therefore it's bad. Mm-hmm. If it's good, oh, this is easy. This is easy for me to feel into this, to accept this, and so then it's good. So if you let go of those, this is bad or this is good, and you just. We're in that space of, oh, this is difficult right now, but know that the cycle, everything that's difficult will become easy.

Everything that's easy will also become difficult because we are living in this human reality of change. That's, it's been said, that's the only constant is change, and so accepting whatever it is for the way that it is. So if you're on this path of manifesting something and it's feeling really difficult, maybe look at that as a signal.

Am I headed in the right direction? Is this difficult because it's not meant for me? Is this difficult because I am holding myself back? Maybe I need to do to do a little bit more acceptance of where I'm at, or if this is really easy, maybe I can surrender more deeply into this flow. Mm. Mm-hmm. So, maybe just stepping back, and I think the theme of this whole conversation thus far is cultivate your observer mindset, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find a, a comfy place to sit within yourself and just kinda watch it all go by. Yeah. And, and people really, you know, myself included, this is really common. Like, we get caught in our fear stories. And so I wonder what you say to people how you, how you explain fear versus intuition. 

Mm. I love this question.

So, fear will always feel a little tight or like, uh, like you're gonna, either you're gonna miss out on something if you don't act quickly enough, or that there's impending danger for yourself. So, Um, it will tend to be a little bit more constricted in the body and feel almost like that forcing kind of energy, whereas intuition is the complete opposite.

So if you're picturing even the yin and the yang symbol, intuition is very soft. It tends to come through in a moment of total stillness, it will be almost like a, a whisper or like a knowing. It's just something that like washes over your body and all of a sudden you're like, oh, I know this to be true.

It also will have no implications if you do or do not follow this intuition, whatever, it's fine. Whereas the fear has that, oh my God, if I don't act on this right now, then x, y, and Z is gonna happen. Mm. Your intuition if you don't act on it, that's okay. It, it might come back around. But we have free will.

We're humans in this experience. We have the power to execute our free will. Intuition is coming through that divine source messages from your spirit team. And fear is coming from your ego. Mm-hmm. Your conscious mind, that 2% of your brain. Mm-hmm. So when you can decipher this, I also like to tell people to start with the body.

The physical sensations, intuition, and instinct are nearly identical. Your body will have the response first, and then your mind will come in to justify and talk you out of certain situations. So feeling it in your body, allowing yourself to be like, oh, I'm like yesterday. I'll give an example. I had a woman, she sent me a message, a DM on Instagram, and it was a really short message that just said, hi, I'm interested in collaborating with sound healers.

And we all live in Instagram world. Most of us do. I know there's some people that don't, having scam accounts are really prevalent. Mm-hmm. So I'm always on the lookout of like, is this a scam account? Or I also don't know this person. What is their intention? What are they wanting? This message was very vague, but I looked at her profile and she seemed like, okay, she's cute, she's got like a little sound heal thing going on.

And I wrote back, I tend to be more conversational and try to have my voice shine through the text and sent her a longer message of, I'm always open to collaborating. I'd love to hear more about what you have in mind. And she sent back a Calendly scheduling link and that was it. And so then I write back again and I was just like, uh oh.

I see that you'd like to schedule a call. My schedule is very busy. If you could let me know some ideas that you have in mind for us to connect. So then she wrote back a little thing of like, oh, I'm really trying to get into the sound Taylor space. I'm wanting to connect with other people in ceremony. We, I scheduled the call.

We had the call yesterday, and from the get go, my whole body started to shake uncontrollably. I felt extremely hot just hearing the tone of her voice. My whole body was hot. And this so extreme anxiety. My body was like in terror mode. Like, you gotta get outta here fast. And I, but my conscious, my ob, my observer part of the mind, I was like, okay, well let's just see, like, what is this?

Whereas my ego mind was like, something's going on. Oh my God, this is scary. I don't like this. And then my body was equally like, I don't like this either. But I stayed connected to the Observer and I was like, okay, body, I feel you, but you can trust me. I know how to navigate a situation. I'm not gonna put you in danger.

Let's just see what this is about. And she, her whole, the whole thing, I won't get into the specifics, but she was extremely degrading to me, very arrogant, questioning my integrity. At one point she told me that I was trying to use her and my reply, I was like, okay, this is, this is a trip. We're in a trip right now.

We're having a little thing. We're having a test from the universe. Yeah. How am I gonna respond in my worth? And I just said, you know, I appreciate your time. I don't think that we are a fit. Our communication styles are very different. I feel very confused by the things that you're sharing. You approached me about collaborating and came at me with a lot of assumptions about what I do, who I am, and instead of asking me or taking the time to get to know me, you started to say that I'm then taking advantage of you.

So I'd like to close this conversation. I wish you the best. Uh, but I don't think that we're a fit. And I ended the call. My whole, my body was still shaking. I was like sweating profusely, and I just was like, you know, I need to just shake it out. And so I just stood there and I shook my body and I made different noise out of my mouth and just, just like really let it go from my body because all of that cortisol was pumping.

Mm-hmm. Remember that stress hormone from the par, the sympathetic nervous system when we're releasing that cortisol. It's similar to way back in the day when perhaps a, a lion or a bear would be chasing us that cortisol is giving us the endorphins, the endurance, to be able to run and escape that situation.

So because I was on a phone call sitting on my couch, I'm not running, I'm not utilizing that cortisol. So I decided to do that. I shook my body, I made sound, and then I put my shoes on. I went for a walk and I just let myself kind of process the situation. So me sharing that example, I hope will just give you the highlight of a few different things.

How to maneuver situations, how it's okay for you to say no to an opportunity. Old version of Tess would've been like, I really don't feel safe in this situation, but. She seems like she really is, knows what she's doing, and she makes a lot of money. And this would be an opportunity for me to make more money.

And I'll just, I'll go along with it. It's okay to say no. It's okay to share with somebody else how they're making you feel while staying kind and professional and in your grace. And it's okay to feel the feelings. Mm-hmm. And to be in that and then support yourself. You don't need to try to numb it or suppress those physical sensations, just let them be.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

That's, that's the perfect summary of the difference. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that story. Oh, man. And yeah. I feel like I need to shake it out now. Doesn't matter. No, everyone, let's just shake it out. Yeah. Let's all shake it out. Let's all shake it out. Oh. Um, yeah, so actually really kind of piggybacking, it feels like it's piggybacking off of that like, You listened to your body, um, you did exactly what you needed to do.

And how do you tell, how do you tell clients to like, surrender into that process more or to surrender to their, whatever they, um, connect with as far as a spiritual practice? 

Well, I think that in order to surrender to anything, you have to build trust. Mm-hmm. Because surrender is such a huge word right now and all these different spaces, like just surrender it up and just let go.

And you can only do that if you have undeniable trust. Mm. In whatever area it is. And so in that story that I shared, I have cultivated that unshakable trust with myself and my ability to discern certain energies. And so I was able to say, no, thank you. If I want a connection with my angels, my spiritual team, I have to cultivate a relationship with them.

Every single morning I sit and I talk out loud with them, and I build that relationship. We play games. I say, okay, let's, I wanna see this today. And, or I'll pull Oracle cards and I'll have them send me messages. And I'm in constant communication with them and I trust them undeniably. So in order to surrender, if you're taking, if you're starting over, if you're taking that big leap of faith, you have to trust that things are gonna work out, that things are gonna be better than they were.

Otherwise you're not gonna do it. Whereas for me, with my upbringing, yes, it was very tumultuous and that change happened a lot. But I was always okay. So I built that trust of, okay, change is fine. I'm always gonna be okay through change. And for a little while it got a little addictive with the change.

But now I know that I, through that building of trust with myself, that I can maneuver my life. I know how to operate in a healthy and respectful way for my highest good. And if I do need to change, it's fine. I will be fine. I can start over endlessly. 

Yes. 

Oh, that's beautiful. Do. So that leads to my next question.

Do you, is there something cooking for you right now? You mentioned you're interested in, in like letting roots kind of sink in where you are, but is there some way in which you feel like your own personal starting over might be like cooking or something that you see on the horizon? Mm, 

well, I think my biggest.

Focus of manifestation right now while having non-attachment, because I'll get into that, is to find my partner. Hmm. So I have been single for most of my life. I've had a very small handful of relationships that really were not healthy, and so I have yet to have a long-term meaningful, healthy relationship, and I'm really calling that in.

However, I know that I have a lot of work to do in that space, and I have been navigating that part of my blueprint, my embodiment blueprint that I talked about. I am building in these spaces for myself just to consider. Okay. Like you said with Leo, where he was like, if you had 20 clients come in, how would you handle that?

If my dream man came in this afternoon, how would I be able to fit him into my life? My schedule is so busy right now. I, I'm getting more and more opportunities. That's almost making me even busier. So how can I begin to structure my schedule to make time that's just open for me to have a potential new budding relationship that would be very exciting, but also take a lot of my attention and energy while not compromising everything that I'm building currently.

So this starting over can happen with these like big, my whole life is changing, but it can also be smaller things. It could be even smaller than meeting my future man. It could be just, I woke up today, right? And today is a new day and I'm starting over today. Mm-hmm. And so what are those little micro adjustments that you can make to continue to build trust with yourself?

All the while gaining information about who you are, why you are the way you are, if you know that you need to, I don't know, an activity is blanking. Let's just say I need to go for a walk for 20 minutes every day because I wanted, I wanna get into better physical shape. Mm-hmm. But I am just not doing that.

That's information. That's simply all that it is. It's not a judgment about you and your ability to change or your ability to lose weight. It's just information that I am currently not going for a walk for 20 minutes a day. And begin with that observer part of your mind to look at it. Is it the walking that I don't wanna do?

Maybe I like swimming better, or maybe I wanna ride a bike. Or maybe I wanna go to a yoga class, or maybe I wanna dance. Mm-hmm. That's what I've been doing. Maybe I actually don't wanna do any physical exercise and I wanna sit in an infrared sauna for 30 minutes and sweat and just be there. Maybe it's the length of time, maybe it's that I'm by myself, maybe I need to ask a friend to come with me.

There's all these different things that you can begin to get curious about. So for me, having this manifestation of my partner come in, this is, it's showing me all these different pieces of information. How will I fit this into my life? And also what is really important to me that I'm not willing to compromise, 

but what a good reminder to take it all the way back to.

Like what? Yeah, when we wanna, when when there's like something cooking that's, that's kinda what I call it. Like there's something, there's like an inkling or something. That I desire. That doesn't even make sense. I mean, a partner makes sense and it all makes sense, but some, we get these things like, Hey, let me drive across the country for four months and just see where it takes me.

Where it's like on paper that doesn't make sense, right? To, or someone would tell you it doesn't make sense to me, it makes perfect sense. But with that, what ha before it happens, you have to do something, right? You have to see why it's not, why it hasn't happened yet. If there's a big dream that you've had, cuz may, I mean, lots of people wanna travel for years and maybe they don't.

Well, that's a great way to look at it, is not, oh, I'm not doing this. There's ano again, there's another thing I can't do, but flip it. It's just information. How can I, how can I? Reverse engineer it. You're, you're telling all the people the important steps here. You got the, like, you got the system. How can I reverse engineer it so that it becomes reality?

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yep, yep. What practices do you have daily that like, that are your non-negotiables and that keep you connected? 

So, currently in my blueprint that I'm working on, I have, I have to wake up at the same time every day, which is earlier than I would naturally wanna wake up. But I, if that felt intuitively like the time and then I have to get dressed immediately, can why?

So I, in the past would sleep really late, so, And then I would just kind of lounge around in my pajamas. And yes, I would hop onto my computer and I would do some work and I would sit on the couch, but then inevitably I would start to feel kind of lazy and stale. Or if there was maybe a video that I wanted to post or share something on my Instagram story, and then I'd bring the camera out and then like, my hair's a mess.

I'm still in my pajamas. And I'm like, oh, I don't wanna show myself like this. And so it would stop me from doing that. It would stop me then from connecting with my community, which is part of my business. And so that was hindering my business. And I end would end up just staying inside for most of the day.

Mm-hmm. Too, if I was just in my pajamas. Whereas I. If I get dressed immediately, then I am also like up and about the house and I'm making myself a nourishing meal. And then I'm like, oh, actually I'm gonna go run to the post office and do that errand that I meant to do, that I didn't get to do before. Um, so it's helping me to be more productive and consistent and show myself that actually I do have enough energy to execute all of these things every day.

Whereas a limiting belief that I was having was that I don't, that if I do all of these tasks, then I'm gonna burn myself out. And so I was subconsciously keeping myself from doing them, but then that was keeping me from this abundance. Mm. 

That's amazing. Yeah. I'm asking cuz I'm interested. I I, I have a lot of PR morning practices, but they all happen in.

PJs for like the first few hours of the, and now it's, I'm very lucky that I can like, hang out at home for several hours. But it's, but I do kind of like, after a few hours I'm like, oh, I'm like, feel kind of dirty or kind of dirty. Stale. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like not fresh. Yeah. That's a really good one. Okay.

What else? 

Um, so then I, I'll just walk through my morning, my day practice. So I wake up, I get dressed, then I sit at my meditation cushion and I do a five minute silent meditation. Meditation does not have to be this like, long, arduous thing that you do even multiple times a day or, I, I think there's a lot of misconception about what meditation is.

It's really an opportunity just to be calm and just to be in the present moment. Your thoughts are never going to stop. Right? A lot of people think that meditation is about stopping your thoughts. That's impossible. Right? It's not going to happen. We are animals. We are processing information, so much information at in every single millisecond, from the temperature to the sound, to the color of that thing, to the, my shirt moved on my skin, like whatever.

So your thoughts are not gonna stop. So it's really just giving yourself that time and space to, sometimes I'm breathing, sometimes I'm thinking about what I have to do that day, and then I realize that I'm thinking about that, and then I, okay. And then I come back to the present moment. It's just that redirection and curiosity.

Mm-hmm. The time for you to cultivate the observer. So I meditate for five minutes, then I pull an Oracle card. With, I call in my angels, my ancestor, the highest ones. I bring them into the space with me. I either ask for them to just send me a message, or maybe I'll ask them about a specific thing and want clarity on it.

I'll pull an Oracle card, I'll look at the card. I read about it in the little book. Then I do my singing bowls for myself for 10 minutes a day. I just sit there again, I put a timer on. Timers are your best friend for anyone starting this because your conscious mind does not wanna do these, these things.

So the first thing is like, how long has it been? How much time is left? Is it, am I over the time? Like all of these pestering thoughts, if you just put it on your timer and you like put the responsibility on the timer and you can let that thought go. So I do my singing bowls. Then I read, and right now I'm reading specifically about the science of sound healing.

So I'm reading a lot about the frequencies, the different brain waves, how it's interacting with our bodies on a cellular level, all that scientific jargon, which I really enjoy. But if I didn't have this practice, I probably wouldn't sit and read a scientific textbook. So I again, set a timer for 10 minutes, and then I read and I'm highlighting and I'm learning, and then I take these little nuggets throughout my day and I share them in class.

Then I pretty much just go about my day. I have to drink 64 ounces of water throughout the day, if not more. Mm-hmm. But that's the minimum. I also have certain dietary restrictions that I put on myself because I have struggled with binge eating pretty much my entire life. So these restrictions really help me and they.

Allow me the space to eat what I want within limits so I can, I don't feel like, oh, I can't eat X, Y, and Z and then that rebellious kind of craving starts to build up. Mm-hmm. And then I just go haywire. Mm-hmm. I can still have those things, but then I have restrictions around how I do that. Um, and that's been fantastic and that's really helped to cultivate an intuition with my body and what my body wants.

And after it's been two months now, I don't really get those cravings for those things anymore. And if I perhaps do get the craving and then I allow myself to indulge, uh, my body doesn't like it, and it's like, okay, that's good information. I don't really need that anymore. Mm-hmm. And I'm starting to come to this acceptance rather than this push and pull that I was dealing with.

Mm. 

Um, 

and then in the evening, I. I come and usually I start this around 7 45, 8 o'clock at night where I will do mirror work. So I sit in front of the mirror for five minutes. Usually I go longer cuz I end up kind of getting lost in that space. But again, just the five minutes, the mirror work is so incredible just for witnessing yourself and getting to know the different parts of who you are.

And it can feel really silly. Yeah. You can kind of look at yourself and be like, this is so weird. I don't know what to say. I feel uncomfortable seeing myself. Oh my gosh, I didn't know that I looked like that. But it's all allowing you to get more comfortable with who you are. Oh, this is how people perceive me.

This is what I look like when I laugh. Oh my God, I didn't know that. All of these different parts and you can kind of begin to bridge this relationship to yourself. The other night after a mirror work session, I was just looking at myself and I said, I am falling in love with you. And I had, I've never really felt that way that I was falling in love with myself.

And that is vital for calling in my future husband. Right. I need to be, be able to see myself as someone that's worthy of being fallen in love with. So, right. That's beautiful. 

Go ahead. I was just, I want, I'm so interested in the mirror work. I've done it a little bit, um, kind of like Louis hay style, uh, and then just kind of dropped it.

Maybe I was like, this is a little hokey or something. But I like the way, I think that I've heard you talk about this before where you are kind of more talking like you're having a conversation with yourself. And when, when I heard you say that, I was like, oh, I think I can, that feels a little more authentic to me, to, to then get to the point where eventually it's like, I am falling in love with you.

But to start there for me felt like I don't believe this. You feel me? Yeah. 

If you're, again, that's that. Think positive, yeah. Rhetoric. If you're looking in at yourself in the mirror and you're saying these affirmations, but you don't believe them in a subconscious space, it doesn't matter, right? You're just gonna create more resistance and more dissonance with your yourself.

It's gonna show you how far away you are from that thing. And again, that's all information, but that's not necessarily helpful while you're trying to build this relationship with yourself because you know that you're lying. And it's like your observer, your internal landscape is like, why are you lying?

Why are you doing this? This is not true. So when you can just have that relationship with yourself, sometimes I really, I'll like talk through, I talked through a little bit of that story that I shared earlier of the woman in the phone call and I just sat in front of the mirror and I was like, whoa, that was so weird.

That like really brought up this memory from my past. And that's so similar that that happened before. But then in that past time, I didn't act, I didn't respond the way I did today. So that's cool. Mm-hmm. And then all of a sudden I'm like, Ooh, that's cool. Like you did it. And then I'm cheering myself on and then it becomes authentic because you can see the progress that you're making.

So I think if you're interested in starting that process, set a timer for five minutes because any longer than that, you, your ego is gonna really resist you. But if you know it's five, you can handle that and make sure that you're not looking at yourself. And that is crucial. You are not looking at your skin.

Okay. Yeah. You're not looking at the chair, the hair that's coming out of your chin. Right. You're not looking at the pimple on your nose. You're not looking at the bags that are under your eyes and the wrinkles that are forming that. All of us, every single person, when we look in the mirror, we see these things about ourselves.

Mm-hmm. And they're things that other people don't see. Yeah. Why? 

Or they don't care about, they love it. Care. 

Yeah. Right. So you're not looking at yourself, which is, when we come to mirrors, that's usually what we do in mirrors. So it's to judge. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You're looking into your eyes, you're having a conversation, you're seeing your entire physicality, your whole face shape, the whole physical, how are you gesturing, what is your body movement?

Um, and just see what comes up. The first time I did mirror work, I was really scared. I set my timer for five minutes. It went off. I turned it off and I kept going. And the next time I looked at my phone, it had been an hour and 15 minutes. Wow. So you can really dive into that space. Wow. 

Yeah. You needed to have that talk.

Yes, I did. That's amazing. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. 

So I love it. So just, and then just to finish the last I wanna, yeah. I wanna hear the rest. Um, is I have to dance to three songs. Mm. So I put on my headphones and I, it whatever mood I'm in, I'll pick the style of song. Last night I was feeling really tired, and so I just played some kind of more slow ambient tunes.

Other nights I'm like going nuts. Mm-hmm. To techno or hip hop or reggae or whatever I'm in that mood for. But it has to be three songs. And then immediately following that, I'll usually move into, I have to do hip stretches for 10 minutes. Okay. So hip stretching specifically. It's because I want to cultivate more flexibility in my body.

I also am deeply aware that in our hips, we store all of this emotion, all of those things. Like I was saying in that phone call where my whole body was shaking. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. My body was having a physical reaction to that experience. And if you don't process it, it gets stored in the hips. Exactly. So up until now, my entire life's worth of experiences that I haven't processed are still lingering in there.

So I'm using this time to stretch and release my hips, which helps with flexibility. Mobility of my body is good for my physical health, but it's also releasing and helpful for my emotional and my mental health. Right. Exactly. And then I have to go to bed. 

And then you have to go to bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So you go to bed pretty early now?

Um, I go to bed at, usually the lights go out at 10 15. Yeah. Whereas before I was going to bed, like closer to midnight. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

Such an effect on our wellbeing. Yes. That we don't even realize. Oh, I 

forgot, I forgot the other, the main one that's been so hard, and this is throughout the day, is that I cannot watch TV and I cannot scroll on my phone.

I have a 40 minute timer limit on my Instagram app. Mm-hmm. And once that goes off, I cannot go on the app again for that day. 

And you've been able to stick to that, uh, tv? 

Yes. Yeah. Instagram has been a little trickier. Mm-hmm. I, for the first of this month, I would say the first 15 days I didn't, there was no scrolling happening.

It was really hard. I was noticing a lot of feelings and a lot of resistance come up to both the tvb and the phone thing, cuz I would use it to numb out and avoid doing other more important projects. Um, and then after the 15, I would, I started to catch myself scrolling where all of a sudden I would be like, oh, oh my God, I can't believe I just did that.

And then I'd closed the app. Um, and then I put the timer limit on myself. And that has helped me to stay not scrolling. And then if I feel, or I know that somebody has messaged me on Instagram, I'll check it on my computer. Okay. Because the computer, you can't, there's not really the scroll ability like there is 

on the phone.

Right, right. Yeah. It's still like cumbersome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah. I need the timer right now. I used to do it and sort of like freewheeling vacation style, and it's like, all right, it's been too long. Mm-hmm. So I feel you. I feel you. Yeah. And how helpful it is just to notice, um, that Yeah.

The, so the last questions that I always, that we always ask every guest come from our twins. So they're, we ask them ev before each interview, okay, what should we ask our guest? And they're always a little d well, sometimes they're different. Sometimes they're the same. They're seven, but they turn eight tomorrow.

And they're like very curious, adventurous, hilarious. 

And they're just, do they know anything about me? Or are they just random 

questions? It's just completely random. Yeah. Okay. Um, sometimes they ask, yeah. But today they just, they had their questions ready. So first question from Eli is, if you were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be?

This is a two part. What kind of sandwich would you be and would you eat yourself? Oh, okay. 

That's such a cool question. Um, the first thing that came to mind when you said this, which was my absolute favorite sandwich when I was a kid, would be tuna salad. So just tuna with mayo and salt and pepper, like super, maybe not even the pepper, but just like super plain tuna with ridge ruffled potato chips between two slices of white wonder bread.

Bread sounds amazing. 

And I would not eat myself. And why, 

why 

not? Um, I have developed a gluten allergy and I will have a really terrible reaction to the bread. And I also don't eat processed foods. So the blend bread aspect, even if I couldn't eat gluten, I would not eat that. And then the potato chips, I would not eat that, but I will still eat tuna with mayo and salt.

Perfect. That I do add pepper. 

Yeah. Uh, so just to make it like weirdly existential, if you were a bowl of tuna salad, would you eat yourself? I 

would, 

I think I would too. See what it's all about. Like, do I go away? Is my consciousness still here? 

Oh, interesting. Would you eat yourself in that context? Do I 

not exist?

I think I would. You could literally sit Yeah. Yeah. 

You're, I like am picking up on this desire, quality, like, do I desire myself enough to eat myself? Oh, that's nice myself. Yeah. 

And I think Yes. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Where I went with it would just be like, let me just see if I, if my consciousness is still here after my, my bowl of tuna salad is gone.

Just like where if I can be anything, why not? Yeah. I love your answer. Okay. This question is from Jack and he has actually been asking this question to a lot of, a lot of our guests. It's really, it's, it's important to him. Uh, is your, is you, is your, is a head an appendage? 

Oh, that's so also interesting. I feel like for a moment there, in my mind I was like, well, everything happens in the head.

Like our consciousness is in our head. Mm-hmm. So then would essentially our body be an appendage to the head? 

Oh, that's even better. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna tell him that. 

Yeah. I don't know if I like, really believe that, but that's where my brain 

went, right? Yeah. Yeah. Cuz your, yeah. Your brain's up there. He is like, I'm in control.

I'm in charge. 

Right. And even like in sci-fi movies, they always preserve the head and like a floating watered bowl or something and the body just 

whatever. Right. I think you're gonna give him something really interesting to think about. We asked, um, an ER doctor on, he was on the podcast or we interviewed him a couple weeks ago and he didn't know.

He was like, I'm, I don't know. So it's fun to see everyone's answers, you know. Oh, interesting. He didn't know if it was actually an appendage or not. Like scientifically. Right? Or medically. Exactly. Medically, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say your body's one big appendage. The head is. The head is like the capital of Right.

The world of your body. Yes. Right. Maybe that's not, but I feel like even just saying that, like that's not right. The heart. Okay. We could just say this all day forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this has been amazing. I love connecting. I love connecting with you. I know so many people are gonna have so many tangible takeaways from this conversation.

I think of like five, you know, something that's reasonable, five minutes, 10 minutes. So I really appreciate your approach to really make it approachable and digestible. That's how we create change, right? That is when we start small. And I love that you gave us so many tips. So how can people find you? 

So people can find me online anywhere.

I am at completely golden. So you can find my website is completely golden.com. My Instagram is completely golden. Please be aware that that is my only account. I will never DM you asking for, to offer services or asking you for money. If that happens, that's not me. Um, just as a disclaimer that I, I hate that we would have to say that these days.

I know, but completely golden. Exactly how you would spell it is, is my business. And, um, I have different offerings. I have if you are, if you connect to the energy of a goddess, I do have a virtual monthly membership called Building the Goddess, where we focus on a different goddess archetype. Each month I have a theme and then we have an activity that helps you embody that goddess in that theme.

So, I don't know when this episode is coming out, but for example, for May, we're working with the Goddess Lakshmi, and the theme is Maya. And Maya is what's known in Sanskrit as the great illusion. It is the great illusion of life. So essentially, exactly what we were talking about with the subconscious, that we are projecting a reality that doesn't necessarily exist.

And then the activity to embody all of this is manifestation. So each month it changes. It's an amazing assortment of goddesses, and the community itself is really beautiful. And then you have access to a bunch of different offers. And then I'm also, and I will hopefully have this done by the time that this comes out, have a workshop that you can connect with to build out your own embodiment blueprint.

So this will be a workshop that you can take at your own time and I'll help you kind of navigate that process to make those micro steps for you to align with that next version of where you're headed. 

Amazing, amazing. Thank you so much Tess, and thank you so much. Yeah, it was really great talking to you.

Thanks 

everybody for listening.