Get Out of Your Comfort Zone: Why Moving to a New City Could be the Best Decision You Ever Make

In this episode of the Can We Start Over podcast, hosts Brit and Lindsey explore the topic of moving to a new city, town, or even a boat!

They share their experiences and provide valuable insights on why stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring new places is essential.

Britt and Lindsey explore why staying in the city or town you grew up in can hold you back. Young people should move to a new city, like today. But, even parents with children can learn a lot, feel freer, and live authentically by choosing to move to a new city. 

Throughout the episode, they touch on deep topics such as the human condition, suffering, and the importance of community. It's an enlightening and entertaining episode that's sure to inspire anyone who's been thinking about making a big move.

Listeners will also learn about Lindsey's transformative journey -- Inner Being Reset is a deep, somatic & energetic healing session that will open your creative flow and leave you feeling recharged, energized, and deeply peaceful. Book your session here.

Britt and Lindsey proudly introduce their new venture, Right Kind Podcasting, which helps aspiring podcasters get started and succeed in the industry. Whether you are starting from scratch or already have a podcast but need help with editing and social content, they've got you covered. Learn more about their full spectrum podcast service HERE and Email HERE to schedule a free clarity call.

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Transcript

Britt: 0:15

Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Can We Start Over Podcast. My name is Brit. And I

Lindsey: 0:21

am Lindsay. Thank

Britt: 0:23

you for being here. You may notice that we sound way better than we used

Lindsey: 0:26

to. That's because we got a brand new fancy bansy setup.

Britt: 0:31

Yeah, now that we're still and we're in one place

Lindsey: 0:34

for a while. Yeah, this would be such a pain in the ass to pack and travel with only three suitcases and five people. There's no

Britt: 0:42

way. Yeah, most of the other episodes were recorded all in different places. With this tiny setup that would fit in a small bag. So now I'm glad to have like a quality setup in a place where we can just walk over and hit record. Yeah. Yeah.

Lindsey: 0:55

It feels really good. Yeah. If you are new here, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for listening. I'm Lindsay. This is Brit. You already heard that, but we are a married couple who decided to sell our house, sell all of our stuff, take our three kids on a trip around the world to find a new home. And along the way, we started talking to people who started over in their own amazing ways. So that's what you're listening to. Our starting over story, other people's starting over stories. Hopefully it sparks some inspiration for you to start over. Cause I bet I'd be willing to bet. I'm just going to go ahead and bet that there is something that you want to do in your life that maybe you're not ready to do or you think, I don't know, could I do it? And you can. So hopefully you're here listening to our story and other stories to get that inspiration and know that you can start over. Today we are talking about In essence of starting over, why you should move to a new city, or a new place, or a new town, a village, or a boat. Just move somewhere.

Britt: 2:03

You may think that's weird, but just listen, okay? Just listen through. It'll make sense by the end. We have so many reasons why that is what's next for you.

Lindsey: 2:11

We wanted to talk about it because we didn't move out of our hometowns other than just five miles, 20 miles away within the same area until we were 40. And It's amazing that it took that much time and effort for us to move when we both wanted to. So that's what we get into today. Why you should move. If you have a calling to a place, I hope that you listen to this and then you take the next step to go there. And

Britt: 2:42

now we've got some really exciting news for you.

Lindsey: 2:44

When we started this podcasting journey, people kept asking us, how do you do this? How do you start a podcast? I have this great idea, but I just don't know how to do it. Or I have a podcast, but it's kind of fizzled out. I don't pay attention to it anymore because it's too much to keep up with. I don't know how to edit. I don't know how to put it out there. So we are introducing to you right. kind podcasting. We are your source for all of the logistics so you can finally press play and start that podcast you've been dreaming of. We take the burden off your shoulders. We can help you refine that idea and that concept, ensuring that it stands out. Take care of all the aspects of podcast distribution so that your show reaches a wide audience. We understand that quality audio is the backbone of any successful podcast and BRIT brings 20 years of audio recording experience to ensure that there is a professional and polished sound for every episode. Audio editing is a time consuming task, and that's what stops a lot of people from starting their podcast. But you don't have to worry, because our in house editor fine tunes your recording, removes all imperfections, and enhances the listening experience, so it sounds good every time. If you want to add a touch of originality... To your podcast, we can help you source or compose soundtracks and music that perfectly complement your show's vibe. We can also turn your podcast into amazing content for growth and marketing. We offer social media content creation, newsletter. Blogs, and let's face it, a lot of people that are already recording podcasts aren't fully utilizing them to share with their audience on other social media spaces. And it's a missed opportunity because a podcast is a place to share your personal story. We help you with that. So all you have to do is come with your authentic personality. No matter where you are in your podcasting journey, we are here to serve. And we believe it takes boldness and commitment to create something new and that everyone has a story worth telling. Get in touch with us today and let's embark on this podcasting adventure together. Email rightkindpodcasting at gmail. com or find the link in the show notes and let's get started. We want to hear your story.

Britt: 5:20

Book a free clarity session with us today so we can talk about your ideas and make them a reality. Visit RightKindPodcasting. com.

Lindsey: 5:28

This is a great episode. I'm excited for everyone to hear it. It was really good to connect with you, Brit. It's been a minute since we just sat down and chatted and it feels amazing every time we do it. It really does.

Britt: 5:40

All right, let's do it. Why do your eyes do

Lindsey: 5:46

that? Why do your eyes, why are they able to cross? Uh,

Britt: 5:50

cause maybe sometimes you need to see, I don't know,

5:54

your

Lindsey: 5:54

nose. Because you can't go them out, you can't go them outwards,

Britt: 6:00

is that how you say it? You can't go them outwards,

Lindsey: 6:03

But that's where you need to see is out because maybe you need to see there's like something happening on the left, like a ninja is coming for you and on the right you still want to watch your shows. Right. So like you need your eyes to go them out, but you can't go on, but you can only go on in. Hmm. Huh. Are we finding, like, the fatal flaw of

Britt: 6:27

humans? Eye stuff? Yeah. Of eye stuff. Fatal flaw

Lindsey: 6:31

of eye stuff? No, no, just of humans in general. If we could fix that, then they're probably... We could probably cure everything. Mmm. What do you think about that? Thoughts on, thoughts on curing everything, go.

Britt: 6:43

Mmm. Ooh, I think we need bad things to kill people, right? Isn't that what scientists say? I don't

Lindsey: 6:50

know if that's what scientists say, but it's definitely a lot of spirituality. Not, not that you need bad things to kill people. That's not like necessarily a spirit.

Britt: 6:58

Well, they have to die. There's not enough

Lindsey: 7:00

room for everyone. Yeah. We get so caught up in like the good and the bad that really on this longer trajectory, what is good and bad. And also maybe if bad stuff didn't happen, then after like a week we in our like holiness of nothing bad happening, we'd probably just get really bored. Yeah. Right. Right. There has to be some kind of suffering baked in, but sometimes I still have a problem with that man. Because like, there's this suffering that we like, that we all kind of think of when it's like, oh yeah, suffering, or even someone's sick or something, but then there's like, horrible suffering that I'm like, does that need to, do we need that too? I don't, I don't know. But I think that's like, maybe also the, I don't know, the human condition just. Amplified that causes greater suffering that is unneeded like we definitely don't need that. Yeah, you know, but we have it So that's like we're like we came to this Earthly plane as humans with some amount of suffering But we're so stuck in the humanness that we like create this deeper Deeper deeper well of suffering that we don't even need God. And so we just have to incrementally turn it back away from the unneeded suffering. Wow. Do what we can like little by little. I think I, I think we did just solve it, right?

Britt: 8:26

I think so. I think now, now you should write a book on that.

Lindsey: 8:28

Yeah. Yeah. Turning, turning it back incrementally. Yeah. And yeah, so much of suffering though, when you look at it as like yawn.

Britt: 8:39

Yawn. Yeah. We. Hold on just a sec. You can be bummed about how the computer just stopped recording and we lost. Yeah. There's suffering. A good bit of that. There's suffering. I'm suffering

Lindsey: 8:49

a bit over this. I'm like, what did I say? Oh. And that's a really good example of like suffering that is. It's such a paradox because it's like meaningless. And yet also you should be able to feel the feeling fully. And when we do that, it takes so much less time and then it just like melts away. So what's the answer?

Britt: 9:15

Oh goodness. I don't know. You're the one writing the book about it.

Lindsey: 9:20

My book coming out. Next year about I can't remember butter

Britt: 9:25

butter the butter real

Lindsey: 9:28

What do you Like about living in a new city, would you say you live in a new city? Oh, I absolutely

Britt: 9:37

would say that Now should we define city? I don't know. Would you say you live in a new place? I live in a new place Yeah, I live in a new place. That is almost the polar opposite of the old place And boy, I'm, I'm loving it.

Lindsey: 9:53

What do you think?

Britt: 9:55

Trademark.

Lindsey: 9:56

McDonald's. They're a sponsor. Go into any McDonald's right now and just say Brit's name and they'll give you a free large fry. Guaranteed. Also, none of this is guaranteed. My guarantee to you, I have a solid guarantee that there is absolutely no guarantee behind anything I say. You need to figure out for yourself. What do you think? This is. You're 41. Sorry to age you. I'm 30. I'm 40, I think. What do you think stopped you from moving to a new place, city, town, village, island, boat before?

Britt: 10:39

Ooh, that sounds like a lot of new opportunities you just said. But anyway, back to the question, what stopped me before? Oh man, fear. Uh, not having a job or the money to do it. Leaving my job. Leaving my friends. Yeah. Having to make new ones. Oh, really? Yeah. And you know what I've figured out? I can do all of those things.

Lindsey: 11:03

Right. Like, literally, it all unfolds. Perfectly. And that's what we're here to talk to you about today, is we want to tell you exactly why you should go ahead and just move to the new city, town, place, island, boat, village, wherever you want to go. You should do it because we stop ourselves. We. That's a condition of human suffering. We stop ourselves, we sell ourselves short, and we like get in these patterns in a place that we're so familiar with that we just don't leave. And then I think when we do that, we never I'll just speak for me. It took me, I didn't even know that I necessarily wanted to move for a long time because it didn't seem possible. We just get so stuck, not even stuck, we just get so conditioned in our familiar place that we start to think that it's the only place. Yeah. And so that's why it seems scary. How will you get a job in another place? Well, because there's literally jobs everywhere, everywhere. Yeah.

Britt: 12:16

I don't know. I don't know. I didn't finish college, so I'm not sure if that is a job or not. They teach you that in

Lindsey: 12:20

college, right? I think that's one of the classes. Are scientists real? Well, I think you can take scientist in college. Oh, yeah.

Britt: 12:26

Good. Yeah, so

Lindsey: 12:28

it must be real. Yeah, I think one of my friends took scientist. Are you feeling disconnected from yourself in the world around you? Do you feel lost in the sea of chaos that has become your life? Are you ready to stop feeling stuck and to start living in your creative flow? Trust me, I know how it feels because I have been there. You want to feel amazing, and you have this big, weird, and wild dream for your life, but you struggle with how to make it happen. Real. That's why I created a three hour deep dive session, realignment with your creative flow. This session helps you remember that you are the magic, your dream is possible, and getting you back into alignment with reality. The energy of life is a lot simpler than you think. This is a transformative journey of self discovery and healing where you drop out of your hyperactive thoughts and into the wisdom of your body. We will deep dive using a unique blend of somatic release, embodied mindful awareness, and intuition cultivation to connect you with your subconscious. So you can release old patterns and emotions that are no longer serving you, freeing you from the weight of the past and creating a deep sense of trust within your body. We end with a restorative holographic sound healing journey that utilizes It's the power of vibration and frequency to bring forward healing on every level, leaving you feeling whole and complete. After you will feel a sense of self compassion and understanding, and you'll be able to move forward with a quiet mind and an open heart, you will be reconnected with your creative flow and that big, weird, wild dream you have will not only feel possible, but you probably won't be able to stop working on it. You are ready. Now is the time to shake off what's been holding you back and move effortlessly into your truth. Don't wait any longer to discover the magic within you. Book your session at Sunnylandandco. com or find the link in the show notes. You are so worthy. There's jobs everywhere. There's money everywhere. There's friends everywhere, there's houses everywhere, and yeah, we just get stuck in where we are. So we don't think that, that there's any world, like our bubble gets so small that there's no world outside of where we live. And there's people who travel a lot that maybe they feel a little bit differently about that. But I still think that there can be a disconnect between, Oh, I can actually go live somewhere else. And some people, I guess, just don't want to. But even then, I wonder.

Britt: 15:48

I've been describing it as Stockholm Syndrome. Why? Like, I felt trapped in Texas. And, you know, like when you go to school. You root for your school. Why? You don't like your school. Probably. You don't like school, but that's your team. Oh, it's just supposed to, it's ingrained into you. Like, yeah, that's your team, man. Yeah. I love Texas because I'm from Texas. It's part of me. Really? Like, what is it? Tell me about what, what of it is a part of you and how important that is, uh, to, and how you can't find those things elsewhere.

Lindsey: 16:23

Yeah. Um, there's two things I want to say about that. First is it's interesting to think about the, um, like. tribal communal aspect that would make someone not want to leave that's like ingrained in our DNA from thousands of years, that would not make you want to leave your group necessarily, which is an interesting thing to think about. But also we just live in this time where you can still be connected to your group. And. If there's also got to be this part of us that comes along that is nomadic. Right. So we've cut off the nomadic part for the last, I don't know, 700, not even that, just a few hundred years, maybe when things started really like. Getting industrialized, maybe people stop traveling around for food and stuff. And yet there is this like, communal element that is ingrained in us. You know, because I don't want to like sell community short, because it's actually one of the most important things to me, like friendship and community. But as I, when I left my like, long friendships, not that they're over, but when I left their general direct vicinity, then... They do sort of shift, but this space, they do, they definitely shift, and yet there's still this space for new community, or a more rich community, or it's like your community just actually opens up.

Britt: 17:49

Right, yeah, you're just adding to your community, and I will say, after moving and starting to find a new community, You look back at your old community and you can see maybe some toxic relationships or maybe relationships where you weren't fulfilled or fulfilling the other

Lindsey: 18:05

people. Right, man, that can be hard to, it's like hard to even admit that there are relationships that kind of like needed to run the course. And maybe when you move, they can like, you have that space to where they can move, but it's kind of like. Leaving the nest eventually you're going to be an adult and you're going to leave your parents house and your community is going to expand in a different way and you're going to have a different kind of relationship with your parents and like that probably needs to happen with some front like long standing friendships to that they just need to shift and the right ones can have space. Like, the right ones can have space in not only proximity, but also, like, space in how often you talk to each other, and it's still gonna feel legit. And then other ones can just fall off, and that's fine. Right. Let's let things end. Yeah. When they need to

Britt: 19:00

end. And it's not only the other people. I've, I've learned. That I'm changing. I'm getting rid of my toxic patterns, too, you know, when I'm not there stuck in the same Situation I've been in for years talking to the same people Just filling time saying things. I gotta do maybe those things didn't need to be

Lindsey: 19:21

said

Britt: 19:23

Uh, I mean, I just got into the pattern where I felt like I had my base stories, so I'm sitting there at work, new people are around, I tell the same stories, because like, Oh, this is my collection of stories that might be interesting to other people to fill space where no one's talking, and then I would just get bored with myself, right? And coming here. I guess those stories are still there, but I'm coming up with new things, I'm, there's new friendships, I'm learning more about other people

Lindsey: 19:56

now, you know? So do you think being around new people, you recycle the same old stories? Or do you think you, that was part of like situationally, just like that was work Brit? I think that was

Britt: 20:08

work Brit. Yeah. Yeah. And some of the stories, yeah, were good and I kept them, but uh.

Lindsey: 20:15

So you're just, you're just uh, on tour. Right.

Britt: 20:19

Yeah. Last night I was hanging out with one of my new friends, Nate. And we were talking about, and this might be an example, about how in the cities we were from before, he's from Chicago, we're from Fort Worth, how our friends, along with us, were kind of drinking every day for, what, to forget about the bad weather. Or, you know, whatever it was. Like, the numbness of being in the same place forever. And just the culture of those cities, or those scenes that we were in, where you're just, you're going out to drink. You're at dinner, you're gonna have some beers. You go home, you have some beers. And then you realize one day, oh my gosh, I'm drinking every day. And I wake up feeling shitty. Uh, the new town that we both live in, California, here in California. The town called California. The town called California. Have you heard of it? California. There's not the drinking culture, at least in the people that we've met. Yeah. And especially in LA, people are getting up, doing their job, trying to do their job well, staying present, and really, like, working. And I didn't see that in the towns or the circles that I was in before as much. Like here, he is sober and is never pressured to drink. You know? Like it never happens. At home, if I wasn't drinking, somebody would be like, Wait, do you want to just have a drink? Dude, we have all these beers here. Really? You know what I mean?

Lindsey: 21:45

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or there'd be a question of like, are you drinking right now? Are you not?

Britt: 21:50

Right. Yeah. That you would have to answer. And it's like, Oh, I don't know. I don't, I don't have a beer in my hand. So yeah, I guess I'm not drinking. You know, there would just be like a, an awkward situation here. It's not even, and I don't know if that's just us being older, but everyone that I've talked to here kind of feels the same way

Lindsey: 22:09

about it. Yeah, you know, I'm interested in that because it makes me wonder, it just makes me wonder about like, it feels awkward only because you're showing up to an audition. To, we'll call it an old situation in a new way. So if you're with your old friend, and I'm like using air quotes as I say this, so it don't mean old friends, like they're gross or they're whatever, they're old, but like you're showing up to an old situation, a familiar, let's say familiar situation in a new way. So you show up with friends that you used to drink with and you don't drink and there is something like there's a new threshold that needs to be crossed. because you're showing up different. And I went through that. I don't want to say it necessarily felt, it definitely felt like undertone of awkwardness because I don't know. I guess I didn't realize how much someone else would depend on me drinking or not to like define their experience for the night. Right. And I'm also saying that and understanding I'm putting way too much. Like, it's not like they had a bad time because I didn't drink, that's ridiculous, but even just the fact that it would, like, come up and be a question, you're showing up in a new way and that makes someone go like, oh, well, if you're showing, like, are you the same person that I know? Are you my friend? Because my friend does this and this and this. And if you don't do this and this and this, then are you that person or are you an imposter? Right. Are you someone else?

Britt: 23:42

Right. And maybe really what it is is if you're not drinking, maybe they're feeling a little guilty. Like, should I be drinking? Am I, are we just used to drinking together?

Lindsey: 23:52

Right, right. And that's on that. That's their own journey. They need to figure out because, I mean, I stopped drinking because hell yeah, I didn't need to be drinking. You know, it was totally a crutch and. It was just time. So I don't know if someone's having that experience and they can have every feel again, all your feelings are welcome here. You can have every feeling you want and you can drink as much or as little as you want. All of you is welcome here. But if that experience is coming up for someone where they're like, Oh, should I be like, not drinking is drinking bad, then that's something they are. So welcome to Explore, or not. Keep pounding them away, baby.

Britt: 24:34

Get to the lake,

Lindsey: 24:34

baby. So, one of the reasons that you should move to a new city, you, yes, the person listening to this, I'm talking to each one of you, move, is that the world is so big and so beautiful, and I know we've talked a lot about this when it comes to travel, but the world is so big, and when we live in the same place We forget that all of this world is happening outside of our bubble, that we have no idea. And I am a person who would call myself, I'm like very open, like I understand that there's all people in all walks of life doing all kinds of things and I welcome it. Still, and I'm well, like we're pretty well traveled, at least extensively well traveled in the U. S. and like, you know, Central America, whatever, but until we went to other countries far away or spent a lot of time in places, was I really like, Oh. Like these are full people everywhere in the world doing full ass things that I just, my mind was so stuck in a small bubble, right? And that's why you just have to get out. And I say that as someone who didn't move away from their city until they were 40. So that's interesting because I stayed for a long time and I stayed for a lot longer than. what I even thought I would or wanted to. In some timeline, right now, there is a me who moved away from Texas when she's, she was 19, or 22, or whatever. That me exists somewhere, and somewhere there's a timeline when you did. Right. And somewhere there's a timeline where, when we met, we were like, let's get the hell out of here. Yeah. And we just moved. And. We're not in that timeline. I know we're in this timeline where we chose to stay and it's perfect. Like life also will deal us these perfect cards where we move when we need to, but everything could be different if we would have just heeded that call when we felt that years ago. Right. And for me, that really is that I didn't even think it was possible. Probably from the time I was, like, 20, when we got, I guess, when we got married. So, like, 24 until maybe I was, like, 38. I didn't never, I never thought of moving from Fort Worth. Like, I think I was probably actively against it in my mind. Like, other people would move and I'd be like, no. Don't move. Talk about, talk about a new person or a person showing up in a new way. If someone moved, I would be like, what are they doing? They're making a mistake. Same. And that's so small mind. Obviously, I was like so stuck in my own wounded pattern of needing that familiarity, you know, so I couldn't, they couldn't move. If they move, what does that say about this

Britt: 27:33

place? Yeah. Example, everyone for a while was moving to Denver and still are. People love Denver. And, um, I never wanted to go to Denver because I was like, you stole all my friends. Screw you, Denver.

Lindsey: 27:45

I also, man, the side note, but I just didn't vibe with Denver. I think I only went there one time and it was in a weird point in my life. Um, nothing was really for me and people love Denver. Yeah. I

Britt: 27:57

still, I still don't vibe with Denver either, but um, yeah. Not just because she stole my

Lindsey: 28:02

friends. But there is a, yeah, it's like when people are going and doing new things, and you feel so, I don't want to say stuck, but you just feel so in a place that you can't leave. It can, it's like these little minor heartbreaks and without some inner work and some personal work, I didn't know that that's what it was. I had no idea. I was just like, Oh, they're, they shouldn't move and had nothing, had no time to like introspect and be like, what's that? Why am I feeling that way? When you move to a new place, your creativity gets sparked. Because, when you're in a familiar place, especially when you've been there for years, you're just kind of running, there's a potential to run on autopilot. It's the same roads. It's the same place. It's the same restaurant. It's the same this. It's the same that. And that running on this autopilot gets these patterns deeper ingrained. But when you go somewhere new, your subconscious is more open because you have to pay attention more. So then that's when creativity starts to come in more. Right.

Britt: 29:14

There were so many times I feel like I didn't notice all the things around me that were worth noticing because I had driven that way a thousand times to work or whatever. And when I put myself in a new situation, everything was new and I was looking everywhere. And there is. It's definitely some work to be done throughout that of mindfulness and staying present. But it can become hard when you're in the same routine every day. You've got to try harder.

Lindsey: 29:44

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm glad you said that because yeah, it does like it, it definitely gives you an opportunity to just be more aware where you are and you don't want to fall into some pattern unless you do of like, you're constantly chasing the high. of being aware, or like, sparking creativity because it can happen anywhere, but it's also okay to go somewhere new to let it happen. Right,

Britt: 30:10

right. And that reminds me of, I will probably botch this story, but there was a Ram Dass talk where he was talking about, you know, you and your friend are driving through a town, right? And you realize that your car is kind of acting up a little bit. It's maybe skipping or something. And your friend that's sitting next to you is very hungry. So as you're going down this main street in this town, you're having, you're basically living in two different realities because you're looking at every car shop along the way thinking, should I stop? Should I have this checked out? I don't know. That's all you're noticing when your friend is hungry. They're just looking at every restaurant and you're in the same place living in two different worlds. And that was a really potent story.

Lindsey: 30:53

To me. Yeah. Oh yeah. I really like that. And you can be living in the same place and kind of, and living the shared reality too. When you go to a new place and people are maybe more into creativity or they're more into like making things happen or they're more into nature, then you might naturally Be kind of pulled into that shared reality, you know, it's like both can be true. You can be living So you can be driving down the down the interstate in Fort Worth for example and think this is really ugly and someone else can be like look at all these beautiful wildflowers and Then I'm like damn Notice those because I was too busy thinking it was ugly, right? Yet collectively, like as people, we are like putting, we're putting out and taking in this energy into wherever we are. So, if the energy is more... Like it is here. There might be people that are more into being together, to like having awareness. They're more into cultivating their like spiritual awareness or even more into like taking care of the earth a little bit better. Little things, you know, that you can kind of feel like, oh, okay, we're on the same page and you can feel the difference when you're not, when you're somewhere where that doesn't feel true. Young people, especially, should just move. Like, today, when I think about, like, the 19 year old me or the 22 year old me, for whatever reason, I didn't move even though I wanted to move to Philly or New York or whatever, and I just didn't, I'm like, what was stopping me? What was keeping me? What keeps young people in the same place? What do you think that was for you?

Britt: 32:46

Oh man, for me it was just, I think I was scared, like I was scared to drive out of town. Like I, there was just a vibe in my house of don't do new things. No one in my family ever did new things. Stay with what's known. And I want to say comfortable, but comfortable is not the right word because it

Lindsey: 33:05

wasn't comfortable. Well, but it's so the familiar uncomfortable is easier for us to handle than the comfortable unfamiliar. So even if something's better, but it's new to us and we don't exactly know how to get there, then we will choose the familiar uncomfortable over what is unfamiliar, but could potentially be way more comfortable. Right. And we are obsessed, it's like we're obsessed with feeling comfortable. So your family was like building this comfort, this like dysfunctional comfort. I'm not like, that's no judgment on your family. My family was doing it too, but we're building this dysfunctional comfort just so we can like make it through the day without actually having to access real feelings. And if you never have to actually feel what you're feeling, then you can just like fucking watch Wheel of Fortune and drink Coronas. I don't even know that. I don't even know someone who does those two things. Everyone. That sounds great, actually. But you can do those things because you're like, just numb enough to stay away from your feelings. But just on enough to keep functioning, you know

Britt: 34:21

getting through the day. Wow. Yeah, and And we've all done it for sure. I still do it some days. Yeah, I have to work through that. Yeah That's crazy to think about. Yeah, if you ever feel like you're just making it through the day there's work to be done help to be

Lindsey: 34:38

had yeah, and truly the first step and it is so uncomfortable is just saying I feel Shitty. And getting in there and letting it, letting yourself feel it, but we constantly are going from thing to thing, distraction, distraction, distraction, distraction, to just keep us away from one feeling because we think that that feeling is too much. And it is not true. You holding it for like 40 years or whatever, for how long? For 20 years, even for a year, you're holding this feeling in. And that is so much more uncomfortable and so much more weight and energy used than if you would just sit down for like 15 minutes with a person, if you need a person or on your own, if you have like good practices. at your disposal and feeling it. Let me feel this. But that's what keeps us in the same, in the same place is the avoidance. My experience growing up, I grew up in the same house my entire life from when I was born until I was 19. And People would say, like, I even thought, oh, that's amazing. When I was younger, I was like, that's so cool. Lived in the same house my whole life. And for a lot of, there's a lot of people that that can be a great experience. But for me, it was actually a lot of suffering because no one was happy there. No one was happy living in that house, and we stayed there because it was Comfort more comfortable to stay there and avoid than it would be to say, Let's get the fuck out of here. But imagine as parents, the power that that has when we take responsibility for our feelings Or for our even dreams, like feeling, a feeling side, what about if you have a dream that you actually just commit to and say, let's try to live in a new place. So many people that we talk to that are parents, especially parents ask us like, Oh, well, I want to move, but, or they'll say, I want to move somewhere. I know I want to move away, but I know I want to wait until my kids are out of high school. Or, I know I want to wait until they're this age because of the X, Y, and Z. And that's actually a fine intention if it's a pure intention, but if you're, but if you don't have a hold of really good read on what you also, like what your dream is also, then you are selling your kids short. Because they can feel the energy of not doing something. They can feel the lack of fulfillment in the house. You know, I know I felt that in my house. Like, you can just, I didn't even, I mean, I had no idea that's what I was feeling until looking back. And I'm like, oh, like, no one was fulfilled. Okay. That's actually great information because now I can be like, what fulfills me? But we just don't really think about that as parents, or fulfillment gets turned into job. Fulfillment just becomes money. And if I can, like, create a big business, then I am fulfilled, but it's so just one slice of this pie. Totally

Britt: 38:08

feel the same about that.

Lindsey: 38:10

And that's why, as parents, for me, like, my, one of my most important parenting. Values is possibility. So I don't care what my kids say to me. This is a little off topic from moving, but I feel like it's in line. Like, if my kids are like, I'm gonna invent something or I'm gonna invent this new thing. I'm gonna start, uh, whatever. I wanna fly. I'm trying to fly. Literally, they're, one of our kids says like, I really need this so I can fly. And I'm just like, hell yeah. Do it. Because instilling possibility in my kids is one of my number one values. It helps me remember my own possibility when things get really limited. And that's why we, that's why you should move somewhere. Because it opens up that, your window. Your window's closed to possibility if you're in the same place and you don't want to be. Open it up and be like, there's a big ass world out here. The thing about moving as a family, not only is there possibility, of course, there's also new challenges, but that, like, gives you that stretchy growth that you can work with, especially if you have some kind of personal practice or whatever, you know, some kind of self awareness practice that It's good to be challenged. When you move, you're going to be challenged. No matter if you're 19 or 22 or 40 and no matter if you're moving by yourself or moving with a whole family, you're going to be challenged because it's like so cliche, but wherever you go, there you are. So you can like leave your old city, your old people, but you're bringing your baggage with you. The good thing is if you're open. A curious seeker kind of person. That's exciting because you're like, oh, this is like a brand new opportunity for me to shed some shit that I was still holding on to where I was. I think you're

Britt: 40:07

just going to shed it by default as you go to. You think so? Yeah, to some extent. Absolutely. Because you're not stuck in the same situation. You're not seeing the same people. Just like I was saying with my stories, they just kind of melted away. And then now I'm in situations where I feel like, Oh, I don't have much to say. And it's because I'm not just regurgitating the same shit that was this facade, you know, this ego thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that I'm not on that trip anymore, I'm building a new me and learning how to communicate

Lindsey: 40:41

with people. Yeah. So what is building a new you?

Britt: 40:46

I'm still figuring it out every day, talking to new people, figuring out what I'm passionate about, you know, when I'm out of it, what I miss and putting it all back together.

Lindsey: 40:58

Yeah. Yeah. Because when we're in the same place, we, we just default to this, like, Person that we are known to be and there's doesn't leave a lot of room for exploration of what you actually like or what you actually want to do because you're just like, well, this is let me put on my. My Lindsay suit today and be Lindsay and all right. It's all good. I'm going to keep being Lindsay. Let me do exactly what everyone expects. But when you're in a new place, you have that freedom. That is also a challenge. And, and it doesn't always work for people to move like people move back or they, or they move somewhere else. That's another interesting thing that I, I like about thinking about alignment because we think yeah. There can be a tendency to think that when things are in alignment, it will all be smooth and easy, and that's not true. Like, a lot of alignment will require discomfort, because you have to, if you're growing, if you're expanding, or you're like, learning who you really are and ripping off the facade, You're gonna meet an edge that is uncomfortable, that is discomfort, and you really have to expand into that and see who's really there, not the made up person that was accepted in the town you lived in before, or the relationships, or the friendships, or whatever, the community that you'd been in for a long time, but like, who am, who am I really when I'm meeting this edge when there's like no one else to be for but you

Britt: 42:38

and I'm working through that right now. It actually came up last week. Lindsay and I were in a circle talking with people and you know, we'd pass around a feather or whatever and whoever had it could just speak about anything that was on their mind and everyone else just listened. And it seemed like kind of the theme for everyone was ego. Everyone was kind of working through an ego thing at the moment. And it really brought up my own awareness of what my ego trip is right now, leaving Fort Worth, where I knew everybody either through music, Or through the restaurant or whatever there was always I knew everybody through something, you know, that's what my vision of myself was That's what my ego was. These are the things that I do and that's why I know people and that's who I am Right. So when we decided to go on this trip, I was like fuck. Yeah, I get to get rid of my ego Let's do this and a lot of times it's felt great. And then there's sometimes where I'm sitting here and I'm like Out and there's cool people around and I'm like, none of these people know who I am and sometimes that feels great and sometimes that's like, Oh, what all these achievements that I had that no one knows about were they even achievements? What was I feeling? You know, did it? Was that really something I did for me? Was that really something I did to impress people? What of those things do I still love? What still fulfills me? And how do I keep doing that and do it for me and not for my ego? Mm

Lindsey: 44:14

hmm. Mm. That's so good. Yeah, we do. We just, we do things to put on a show. And

Britt: 44:23

I've always felt like I knew who I was, you know? I'm like, I've always had a strong sense of self. You know, and now I'm realizing, like, what, how much of that was, was me and how much of it was just the story. Mm hmm.

Lindsey: 44:37

Yeah. Yeah. So what does moving to a new place then, what does that give you in terms of that? Well, I

Britt: 44:46

get to start over and, and like I said, feel out what. What was important to me, what does make me happy, and what was just the story to impress people to make more friends. So now when I'm talking to people, I'm like, I don't know these people, all of my references of my achievements from a far away place don't translate over here, so I can't, I'm not even using those references. And I have to learn how to communicate with people again now.

Lindsey: 45:12

Mmm. Yeah, so it's communicating with people on a level that's more than just, what do you do?

Britt: 45:21

Right. It's, we're not just dorking out over obscure microphones or whatever, you know? I'm just talking, I'm just trying to relate to people as another human and not some weird like microphone encyclopedia. You know what I mean? Not really. You But I'm think that's just an example of the weird thing, you know? Yeah. Just like me, just being so hyper obsessed with one thing and hanging out with people that were obsessed with that

Lindsey: 45:48

thing. Got it. Got it. Yeah. You know, I still like, hold on to my old stories because I think it, I, because some part of me thinks I need it to like place me in the world of why I am, it's like, why I'm valuable. And I think that's why we all do little things like that, but where I'll be like, say, Oh, I used to own a restaurant and it's like, that was so long ago. Might as well have been, might as well never happened. It's like, what do you, yeah. What do you do now? What are you into now? Even saying like, well, we came from Texas, when people ask like, where are you from? It feels like there needs to be this whole story. And I, every time I'm like, why do I need to tell this story? I don't really. Same here. I'm glad you feel that way too. That's me just saying like, oh, but we've been traveling and this and that. And I don't think that's necessary. And maybe it is. I don't know. It's another paradox because we... me, but I think this is true for a we, that we love connection. And so when I meet someone, I want to know, like, I want to know about you. But maybe really knowing about you isn't knowing that you were born in wherever. Maybe really knowing about you is like, what do you love? Like, what kind of, you know, what, what art do you love? What do you like? Love in nature and what makes you laugh and I wonder how to like build a this is me story Like, what do you do story out of those things? Yeah, like I used to own a restaurant and I'm from Fort Worth but then I've been traveling and now I live here but I've only been here for a month and like that becomes my kind of Default story to like place me in the world. I also think that is that we do that to be like, Oh, I'm a safe person. Don't worry. I didn't like roll off a train. I'm not a weirdo. Like my brain still will be like, what if people think that you're like some transient weirdo, carny person. I don't know. Sorry. Cut out that if you're not supposed to say carny person, people that work at carnivals, people that work at carnivals. And you know what? They're, we need them.

Britt: 48:08

I still feel like sometimes when I'm in a store that everyone's looking at me thinking I'm about to steal something. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck is that? I think a lot of people probably feel that. Yeah, but it's like

Lindsey: 48:18

a low level, there's no way it's just you, but it's like a low level questioning your self worth, like I don't deserve to be here. Mm. You know? Interesting. Yeah. And yeah, so it's, it's inter, it's, it's definitely not something to ignore. I mean, it's just a silly little trick that our mind plays on us, but it is, it is a trick that says, I'm not supposed to be here at, on some level, and that you're questioning whether I'm supposed to be here. So it's a way that we. It's a way that we people please in these like micro ways. Like, let me just micro turn on my whatever ness so you know that I'm not a thief stealing from your store. And it is people pleasing because first of all, they don't think that. And second of all, the fact that I need to turn on even some ounce of something unconsciously means that I am trying to. Manipulate how they feel about me. So that's why you should move so you can be a complete weirdo somewhere else. A neurotic weirdo. Go live in New York. Be a neurotic weirdo and everyone will love it.

Britt: 49:33

or la There's plenty of us here too.

Lindsey: 49:37

Yeah. Um, that's just the way we're all human and I think. That that's important to know that we all have those feelings and that you should still move. You should move. Everyone should move. Do it. Move once in your life. Just get, get out of there. If you're not young, then do it old. Just do it.

Britt: 49:54

Yeah. Bye bye.

Lindsey: 49:55

Bye.