Unlocking Your Manifestation Method: A Conversation with Kayla Paradis on Starting Over, Mindset, and Body Connection

In this interview starting over, Lindsey sits with Kayla Paradis, a manifestation coach and spiritual mentor. Kayla dives deep into personal development, spirituality, and mindset, emphasizing the importance of connecting with your body and incorporating it into mindset work.

Kayla explains her unique four-step manifestation method. She discusses the importance of working with guilt and shame, often indicators of moments when we give our power away externally. She explains how to use these emotions as a signal and work with them to create positive change.

She offers a gentle approach to reframing and channeling these emotions toward what you want to experience.

Kayla emphasizes the need to incorporate the body into mindset work. By involving the body in mindset work, you can create lasting change and become the bridge between your mind and your soul.

This interview is a must-listen if you're interested in personal development, spirituality, and mindset. Kayla's insights and strategies will help you build a strong foundation for your personal growth journey and empower you to create positive life changes.

We also talk:
moving across Canada
manifestation
personal development
spirituality
mindset
body
visualization
subconscious
positive change

Resources:
Kayla Paradis
@pathwaytoparadise
FREE GUIDE Learn How to use the Universal Laws for Manifestation

Lindsey's weekly creativity and self-love newsletter
FREE GUIDE How to reconnect with your body
FREE GUIDE How to start over in your relationship so you can do awesome stuff together

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Transcript

Lindsey: 1:21

Can I start this one? Yeah, you can start this one. Hello and welcome to the Can We Start Over podcast. My name is Lindsay. And my name is Brit. And if you're new here, welcome. Come on in. The water's fine. We are a married couple. We sold everything, took our three kids on an around the world adventure to find a new place to live. And now we share it all with you. We share our own starting over journey. And we

Britt: 1:45

talk to other people that have started over in amazing ways. And today's episode is no different.

Lindsey: 1:50

We have a great guest

Britt: 1:50

today, but before that, let's talk about our feelings. Don't you? Isn't that what You know what's more important? Our

Lindsey: 1:57

feelings. And how we feel. You know what I'm feeling? What's been happening for you,

Britt: 2:03

Britt? Well, our children have been going to camp and then they transitioned into a school at the same camp and it's not really working out for them. So we're kind of getting used to that.

Lindsey: 2:16

Yeah, where it's we came back full force into real life mode and I'm saying that in air quotes because anything can be a real life mode, but where we were like we were basically on a nine month vacation. And now we're like, oh, school, oh, routine, oh, meetings, oh, this, oh, that, and it's actually like, I think it's exactly the balance that I was looking for because I knew I didn't want to do a traditional school and then I wanted it to be just three days a week. Like all of these things are like, oh, that's exactly what I wanted. That's exactly what I wanted. But the school kind of just. Instantly, I instantly knew that it wasn't going to be the right place, but I didn't listen to that.

Britt: 3:02

Yeah, I think we've had a whole episode on that, right? Intuition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we both

Lindsey: 3:07

ignored our intuition. Sort of. We did, but we didn't. We, like, held off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's okay, too. I think it's okay to explore. We recognized

Britt: 3:15

our intuition in the beginning. Yeah. We did, and we talked about it. Yeah. And we were like, you know what? Let's just ride

Lindsey: 3:20

it and see what happens. Right. The thing is, what's different is just having the full body sensation knowing of like, Oh, we don't have to do this. And it doesn't have to be, we did spend money on it, but we can shift, like, we don't have to get caught in the, I can't do this because, and we can do something else and feel good about it. Totally with no other story of like, this is bad because of this, like when we project onto someone else or say like the, this school is wrong, it's like, nothing's wrong with it. Everyone there's really nice, super nice place, kind people. It's just, we can tell it's not going to be the fit for our kids. And then that feels so good. And what I'm also real, like in real time, I'm like. Feeling it, knowing it, digesting it, and then using it, and then it doesn't even feel bad to tell someone, Hey, this isn't working out. This isn't going to be the place for me. It doesn't, it actually feels good, because we're doing, I'm doing this person a favor by not hanging around and resenting it, by not building some resentment. And, uh, we were talking about this the other night, like, we, people pleasing is such a hot button topic. And rightfully so, because you don't want to, like, live in a state of doing things for how other people feel about you. But like the real people pleasing is doing what actually is in service for you. So people pleasing shouldn't, we need to find a new name for it. Take back the tag, baby. And we need to take back people pleasing because really, real, real people pleasing would include yourself, your real self. And so it would just please everybody, even if in the beginning it feels like someone's gonna get their feelings hurt. Right. Cause to do the right thing. Or whatever, highest and best, or whatever it is, is always going to end up working out in everyone's benefit in the long run. And that's what I'm figuring out with this school thing. The thing about it that's the hardest, honestly, is when there's like a last minute, my kid doesn't want to go. Yeah. And everything, honestly, that's where like, I really realize how human I am, because I'll just be like, oh, just please get in the car and go. And how. How I still have, I mean, I still have work to do, or maybe not, that's just how I. That's where it shows up for me, where I'm like, Oh, I really want this to be different. And I'm trying to force it.

Britt: 5:52

Same for me. My wording wasn't as kind as yours, though. What do you mean? I really need to show up. I was very angry with the boys and

Lindsey: 6:00

Oh, when they weren't wanting to go. Yeah. You were feeling angry. Yeah. Yeah. And what good does that do? I mean, it's just talk about reactivity. That's just what it is. Right. What are we doing if we're just, I don't know, it's such an interesting thing because as a person in a family, like you are going to have to do stuff or like if you're in any partnership, sometimes you're just going to have to go, but also one thing that's important to me is teaching my kids that when they know that they're not, that something's not right for them, that they should honor that. And I like teach them that and then when they do it, I'm like, not today. Not today, kid. I got a thing. I already got tickets to the horse races, you know? Ah, yeah. I already got 20 on Slinky Dog Run show. Is that, is that a horse?

Britt: 6:50

Popsicle donkey nards in first.

Lindsey: 6:54

Anyway, um, so it's been a really, honestly, it's been a nice lesson even though it gets hard when Someone in your when your kids don't want to do the thing that you're like need them to do But then you can be like do I really need you to do this? Yeah And you know when it is when you do and you don't and

Britt: 7:13

we've got a new school that we're checking out this week, too So we are in transition still

Lindsey: 7:20

Always in transition. Always be, always be transitioning. Transition. That's the tagline for transition lenses. Light, dark, light, dark. And that brings us to today's guest. Yes, we have an amazing guest today. I sat down with Kayla Paradis. You might know her on Instagram as pathway to paradise. And we talked about her move across Canada with her husband and her three kids, and how she uses her intuition and manifestation knowledge to co create her reality without getting lost in perfectionism. It was a really great talk, and Kayla is not only a podcast host, she's also a spiritual teacher who specializes in energy work and psychic readings. She works with clients to shift their energy so they can reach the results they desire by navigating their own shadow work and reclaiming their authentic soul purpose. She's teaching a completely free manifestation course right now that uses the universal laws. to practice manifestation. I've been doing this course along with her, and it's such an incredible wealth of knowledge. I can't believe it's free. Find the completely free manifestation course she's offering, her Instagram, and all the ways to work with her in the show notes. A few things that I want to mention before we get into this talk. I have a weekly newsletter at Sunnyland and Co. That is two parts creative inspiration and two parts reminding you that you are already perfect the way you are. I love writing them each week and I love seeing the feedback, so I hope that you'll sign up to get these short teachings from me in your inbox. It's also where you can find out about my new services, about upcoming workshops. I'm actually teaching an upcoming workshop on tapping into your creativity through your intuition, which will be in October. And if you're signed up for the email list, you'll be the first to know when it's announced and you'll be the first to get any discounts on enrollment. You can sign up for this newsletter at Sunnylandandco. com or by following the link in the show notes. Speaking of doing more of what you love, if you've ever wanted to embark on the journey of a lifetime through Egypt, we have an exciting offer for you. Dr. Paul Hubbert, the founder of the Institute for Holographic Sound, whose name might sound familiar to you if you listened to our previous episode with Tressa Vasquez. is leading an incredible 14 day journey through Egypt. This epic trip includes a four day cruise down the Nile, a private sound bath in the Great Pyramid, and a private visit to the Temple of Isis. Dr. Paul has graciously offered a fantastic deal of 400 off the trip to all the Can We Start Over listeners if you book your spot by Friday, September 15th. This deal is so simple to get. You just follow the link in our bio, put down your deposit, and then mention in your message that you are a listener of Can We Start Over? And they'll apply a 400 savings to your balance. Spots are limited for this trip. Check it out at holographicsound. com or at the link in the bio. And remember, book by Friday, September 15th to save 400. Thanks again

Britt: 10:48

for listening to the Can We Start Over podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you get new episodes as soon as they come out. And sign up for our weekly newsletter where we share more in depth travel tips and real relationship stuff that we don't get to in the episodes. Find the link to sign up in the show notes with all of the other links and let's start the show.

Lindsey: 11:06

Let's do it. So tell me about since i'm starting over again, I want to hear about Your starting over how long have you lived where you live now?

Kayla: 11:20

Okay, so i've lived in new brunswick here in new brunswick for going on five years And before that, I lived in Alberta, which is the province where I was born and raised. Wow. Yeah. And so coming here, it, it really honestly felt like we were pulled here. We would come here often, like almost every year for a little bit because, um, my husband is from here, from New Brunswick. So we would come to visit and one day we were here for a visit and he just turned and looked at me and he said, Oh my God. What would it be like if we lived here? And then, you know, a bunch of things were happening with like real estate and the economy, like it was just starting. Things were starting to change at that point five years ago and we could really clearly see it. And then we realized, you know, we could sell our home and buy one here for a lot less money. And it just, It felt exciting, and we just kept feeling the pull, and then once we started to put it into action, it just, like, happened. Like, our house sold within a month, and then we were packing up everything, putting it into a trailer, traveling across the country. I flew here with the three kids, and my husband drove the truck and trailer with our belongings, what we had, like, kept out of everything. And then we started over here. Wow.

Lindsey: 12:48

What was, how far away? It's the opposite side of the

Kayla: 12:51

country? It is, yeah. So Alberta is over on the western side, and then we are like right up against the ocean now. Amazing. Right up against the Atlantic Ocean. So we literally traveled across the country of Canada, yeah.

Lindsey: 13:09

Yeah, so five years ago, can you remember the feeling of that pull? Can you describe that sensation?

Kayla: 13:17

So I almost feel that it was originally my husband who kind of almost like implanted the seed within my mind. But then it was, it was me who really took it and kind of started to daydream and visualize and like ruminate on it. And then that's when I started to then emotionalize, like get excited about it and feel it like just his one little prompt, like I said. Literally planted a seed within my brain and then I was unknowingly in that moment practicing a manifestation process. I didn't even know that I was doing that, like starting with sort of like the seed, like the concept and then actually thinking about how it would work, daydreaming about it, emotionalizing it, and then ultimately magnetizing it or like attracting it into our life.

Lindsey: 14:10

Yeah, I love that you say that you didn't even know that you were doing that, but you were practicing. Yep. Yeah. So how do you know looking back, Oh, that's what I was doing. And how can you use that knowledge

Kayla: 14:23

now? Well, it's through the work that I do now that I'm able to see it. And it's, Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because before, you know, prior to moving, like, that was really the time when I started to explore spirituality and energetics and manifestation, like I was just really dipping my toes in. It was around that time I started to read books like The Power of Now and by Eckhart Tolle and like Untethered Soul by Michael, I'm forgetting his last name. It's Michael Singer. Michael singer. And so I was just starting to dip my toes in like doing my yoga practice and things like that. But now at this point, you know, looking back, and what I've created, I've, I've got this foundation that I've been working with. And in the beginning, I didn't know what it was. And I think that's what gets me so excited about Just like the personal growth process and spiritual growth is that it's it really builds It's like a an energy or a pattern that builds upon itself And so in the beginning I would get these sort of like downloads like when I would meditate or like do yoga or whatever And it was really just like the starting little bit by bit little pieces, you know, and now looking back, I can really put it together and be like, Oh, wow, you know, that's what was taking place. So it gets me excited for the years to come, because I know it's just going to keep building and growing, right?

Lindsey: 15:50

Yeah, yeah. And you said something really important about that you didn't know, you know, how can we use that not knowing? As, as someone who either wants to practice manifestation or maybe already has a practice, how can you use the not knowing to guide you?

Kayla: 16:12

Well, with that, I would say that, like, we have, I think, humans. In general, we have a tendency to want to control things to control the outcome and so that kind of can seep into manifestation practice to where people are, you know, maybe they want something they desire something and then they kind of maybe they'll fall down the track of trying to control it. Into existence or like manipulate it into existence and then if you, if you are in the flow of like, let's say, just creation or in the flow of life, you're actually opening yourself up. To the unknown and like creating this acceptance rather than resistance of what

Lindsey: 17:05

is acceptance versus resistance. How can someone use that energy and there's I know you talk a lot about these like universal laws. How can people use this? To have their own starting over, to have an experience like you did.

Kayla: 17:23

Yeah, so, with the universal laws, and if people hear that and they don't know what that is, just like a little context, the universal laws are, they're derived from ancient scripture, so they're thousands of years old. And, Um, from a book I've read, I don't even remember the title of it. I have a list of 12 that I've been working with actively for the last about three years. And what I do is I take maybe one or two and then I just meditate on it. So I'll take one universal law, like say the law of divine love, I'll write it down and then I'll sit down and I'll meditate on it. And what you'll find is within that sort of like law the teachings come through and just like I explained before with any kind of growth process it's going to build upon itself so it'll reveal to you kind of what you need to know and that's the that's the way that you can use it I would say is if you take the laws of the universe and I don't know if you if you have something like that available for your audience I could even share I've got a PDF that's um You It's really easy to read and you can look at what the universal laws are. So if your audience wants that, maybe we could link that in the show notes, but take one meditate on it and allow it to change you. And that's really what it is. It's like that allowing that acceptance and it will create a starting over just depending on like where you need it in your life, like which category I guess, or area of life

Lindsey: 19:00

that you need it. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So. You'll kind of feel this like natural call towards one, and then you let it work on you deeper. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Explain to me your... Unique manifestation method that you've built over these last few years. Yeah,

Kayla: 19:22

so it comes back to what we were saying in the beginning about me unknowingly, you know, practicing that manifestation method through moving across the country. It's like number one, it's really simple, a four step method. So number one, starting with like an idea or a concept. Typically this is going to come from. Your higher self or maybe your future self. This is like your higher consciousness. It's like this download just drops in right and it can be introduced. By other people like how it happened for me with my husband Can be external but anyway, it starts with the idea with the concept and then the second piece is the actual processing of it so that looks like visualization daydreaming planning Kind of starting to put it into action. And that's when you're using your conscious mind. And then the third step, you begin to work with the subconscious. So that's when you're actually creating the patterns to put that manifestation into place or like bring it into life. So these are the habits, the daily patterns, maybe like the rituals or whatever you want to use to really like bring it in. And then finally, the fourth one is that emotion piece. That's when you're working with the heart center. You're actually allowing yourself to feel what it would feel like for that manifestation to occur because a lot of times what happens when we block our manifestation, sometimes a lot of it boils down to the heart because we're rejecting actively rejecting or avoiding that feeling of that said manifestation occurring in our life for whatever reason, maybe as a form of like protection from Uh, Past wounding or whatever, but that's, that's it broken down into four

Lindsey: 22:35

steps. And why can you speak a little bit deeper on why someone might unconsciously protect their own heart from something that they want?

Kayla: 22:49

Well, it just depends on like what your manifestation is, right? But like Let's say you wanted to manifest more money, but when you were a kid, you grew up in an environment or in a family that had certain beliefs or held certain beliefs around maybe what people with large amounts of money do. And so you might actively without even realizing it, you might actively push away, say, the responsibility of having more money or managing more money because you have that maybe. That fear or that pain or that belief that was projected onto you that people with lots of money are selfish or whatever the that core belief might be and so that's a way that we can kind of push it away. It's like I don't want to identify or experience the feeling of being maybe a selfish person. So I'm going to actively push that away. Right. If, if I think looking at my bank account and like putting money in certain spots and like managing my money, if I have this like core belief that that's something that selfish people do, and I don't want to be a selfish person that I'm actively going to like resist and reject that. Manifestation from actually occurring, even if I think it's something that I really, truly

Lindsey: 24:14

want. And so when that is a truth for someone, like when that is a pattern that they have, how can We work with it and not fight against it.

Kayla: 24:28

Well, to me, one of my biggest lessons that I've been processing myself and like working with, with a lot of my clients is facing that shadow. Like a lot of times when it comes with comes to healing, like we think we need to maybe like eliminate or eradicate that false belief, like get it out. Right. And again, that's almost like a form of avoidance. And I think like true healing and embodiment comes when you're willing to look at your shadow and be like, okay, I see you core belief that managing my money is selfish or whatever I see you and I accept you as you are. But are we open to experiencing something new to create new patterns? What could that look like? It's like opening that door of curiosity and being willing to expand and grow. Because there's actually room for more. So you don't necessarily have to like push out those negative thoughts and beliefs but it's almost like through embracing them and being like, oh I see you I accept you, I know you come from somewhere and you're here for a reason. That's when all of a sudden this like higher self, voice of love is able to pour through you you. Then you kind of notice that will actually interject or interrupt The spirals those downward spirals of anxiety and like overthinking and all that kind of thing That voice of love will pierce through and say well, wait a minute. Maybe there's something else available Maybe there's new thoughts available new patterns available

Lindsey: 26:07

Oh, I love that because I think I I come across people and i'm sure you do too that that Are feel like they can't do any kind of work like this, like, you know, it's not for them, or maybe they like have too much wounding or it's too hard. And so I love what you're laying out here, just that the simplicity of it and really letting there's like there is this aspect, like you said, of letting go. Not trying to hyper control this process because then it just becomes another, it is another form of avoidance. Yeah, I love that you said that. And that really makes me think about when those feelings can't come up. Like, if someone's carrying a lot of guilt or shame, how do they work with that? How can they go deeper into that?

Kayla: 27:05

Yeah. So guilt and shame is typically an indicator of moments when we give our power away externally. So we give it away maybe to another person or a place or a situation. So when guilt and shame comes up for me. That's one of the first things that I look at and, um, you know, that chart of vibrations. Do you know what it's called? What's that? I

Lindsey: 27:33

can't remember. So there's things scale.

Kayla: 27:35

Yeah. Yeah, there's a Emotional frequency scale. So it's got all of the emotions on the scale And, you know, basically has their frequency beside them, like almost like, um, a number of where maybe joy and happiness and bliss would hit. And then guilt and shame is like right down at the bottom. Like those are kind of low frequency emotions. So not that we're not meant to feel these things, but when we feel that emotion, when it comes in, it's really important to look at it and see it as a signal. Yeah. Because guilt and shame, because it is one of the, say, lower frequency emotions, it can actually create, it's really easy for it to kind of create this inversion loop of downward spiral thinking and behaviors and things like that. So the second guilt and shame comes up. What I like to do is I like to see it as a signal. First of all. And then I start to work with it and ask myself, okay, in what ways in this trigger, like, cause that's usually what happens, we've, we've come up to a stressful event or some type of change and something will happen, a trigger. And then we start to feel those feelings of guilt and shame and working with that and asking yourself, okay, what am I doing in this moment? That's actually giving my power away to another person place or situation and how can I reclaim it back and sometimes then you kind of realize, oh, this is connected to that time in the past when I felt guilt or shame about this thing and it's, it's, it's making me feel the same type of way, but yeah, using it as a signal because if you don't, if you remain unconscious about it, then the same pattern of behavior ends up playing out. Yes.

Lindsey: 29:36

Yeah, and what do you say when the same patterns play out with someone that does have awareness? Like, where do you see that going?

Kayla: 29:47

So, are you saying, like, If someone has guilt and shame and then they, they see the patterns coming up and they're like fully aware and it's like, wow, this is still playing out. Is it kind of like, then what?

Lindsey: 30:00

Yeah, like, okay, now I'm aware. Oh, I see shame popping up and here's this pattern and maybe I'm still gonna do the thing. Yeah. I'm still stuck in the pattern, but I can see it. Can you like see what's next for that person? That might be in that situation.

Kayla: 30:19

So in that situation, if you're having a tough time, kind of like rerouting that pattern of behavior and it just keeps playing out. What I like to do with my clients is I actually will take that and work with it. So it again becomes a form of acceptance of the emotion rather than rejection. So instead of saying, Hey, guilt, get out of here. You're not welcome. Right? Um, we're going to do something different, like kind of like that alpha. Energy, we kind of drop more into the feminine. We drop into the heart and we say, okay, you know what guilt you're here. I see you taking over my patterns again. You're trying to protect me. Thank you. Awesome. Let's work with this. So an example of this is like somebody who has patterns of say, like overeating and it's tied to some kind of like trauma trigger or whatever. And so every time they're stressed, they're overeating. And so what I do with my clients who have a hard time, instead of replacing it with a different pattern, they keep falling into the same pattern. What I do is I actually say, well take that guilt and, and work with it. So say, say to yourself, Oh, I just can't help it. I can't. I feel so bad, but I just love eating healthy food. So you take that guilt and just like reframe it like, Oh my goodness, I shouldn't, I shouldn't be going on the treadmill again, but I just, I can't resist, you know, and so you kind of just reframe or like rechannel that energy of guilt towards what it is you want to experience.

Lindsey: 31:52

Hmm. Yeah, I love that reframe. That's really gentle, but like in support of where you want to go. Yeah. I think sometimes in, in spiritual practice or maybe in personal development, there can just be this, there can still be a fear of challenge because change is challenging, right? And We do, we talk so much about being in flow and being in being easeful and all of those for sure, right? We all want to experience that, but there has to be some kind of challenge at first. Or maybe continuously even it's getting in the ease and flow with that challenge. So when the pattern comes up, then you're like, okay, yeah, let me reframe this and kind of push through that. Yeah,

Kayla: 32:50

like how can I actually use this guilt to maybe help me or like, how can I work with it rather than avoid it or reject it in some way?

Lindsey: 33:01

Yes, yes. And so that really makes, that reminds me that I want to know. How you work with mindset and the body together.

Kayla: 33:14

Yeah. So, um, a lot of what I do has to do with the mindset has to do with the energy, but all of that is connected to the body as well. And it's, it's kind of, I guess, like depending on who you are, it can be easy to get into our head. To kind of go out of body and we do this not just with the mind But we also do this like with our emotions It's like easy to go out of body but the change never happens Outside of the body. So if you try to think or feel, if you're just trying to think or feel your way out of a problem or maybe into a new result, you won't create that lasting change. Whereas if you learn how to bring it into the body and work with the body, that's when you're actually becoming that bridge,

Lindsey: 34:15

right? Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So then what does it look like kind of going a little bit deeper to really connect this spiritual practice or connecting with your soul being in this body and using mindset? Can you talk about that a little bit deeper? Mm

Kayla: 34:36

hmm. So I'll use an example for that. If somebody wanted to make more money or like achieve higher levels of success within their career, they might think about it. They might daydream about it. They might visualize about it. They might even get like pen to paper and like maybe make a vision board and all that kind of thing. But if they don't know, What it's like to walk around as a person who is maybe more wealthy or more successful if they don't know how it feels, if they don't know how to hold their body in that way, then the all that work that they're doing within their mindset isn't going to land, right? So if a person wants to create that lasting change, that's what you have to practice. That's that other piece, that kind of emotionalizing and then also patterning. So actually moving the body, involving the body, you know, getting yourself into rooms that maybe you'd perceive as like more, more wealthy or more luxurious and noticing how that feels in your body. Like some people, they, they'll say that they want more money, but you stick them in like a fancy hotel or resort. Every part of their somatic body and their energy body is just vibrating, trying to get them out of there because they're like, ah, you know, there's a, there's a disconnect. And so when you learn to kind of at your own pace, slowly integrate those new experiences into the body, that's when you can create lasting change.

Lindsey: 36:15

I'm so you used an example that actually that just really resonates with me like being in a place that feels above your experience of wealth or life and being like, Oh, I want to be here and then getting there and being like, Oh, I'm feel like I don't belong here. And the way that the mind or this part of the mind that wants to keep you safe will tell this story. Uh, this is not good, this, whatever, and, and judge it, and really, then that's exactly what you said, then we're out of the body. Yeah. Right? The thing about being embodied, and I've heard you talk about this, is so much just has to do with feeling what the feeling is, without trying to change it. And I think that's maybe where a lot of, where some people get misdirected, again, is going back to, okay, and now I, I can't, either I can't feel this, it's too big, or if I feel this and it doesn't feel good, I need to shift it. Mm hmm. And really, it's like getting in there and just being like, all right, this feels like shit, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna sit with it. Yeah. And like stretch into it, because eventually. It goes.

Kayla: 37:40

Yeah. Yeah. Like what is this feeling? Even if it's a not so good feeling What is it? What is it teaching me? What is it giving to me in this moment?

Lindsey: 37:50

Yeah. Yeah Mm hmm What what is it giving to someone? Is there something that usually comes up that you notice that it is giving to a person if they're feeling Bad in a situation.

Kayla: 38:04

Yeah. So another like Example is coming to mind Because a lot of this I learned through My own spiritual practice like a lot of the things that I teach Was basically given to me or explored through my own spiritual practice. And so if you're meditating and you connect to say like a higher vibrational spiritual being, like maybe it's like a guru or a guide or God or angels or whatever, when you connect to that energy, if you feel that you are not worthy. Of that experience or that encounter, that interaction, the mind will automatically kind of taint it like almost paint it black and make it into a scary thing. And I think this is where a lot of people stop when it comes to spirituality and psychic development. It's because there's that maybe a lack of self worth or whatever. There's like this feeling of like. I am not worthy to have this encounter and then it'll paint it black and then they kind of shut down and they'll close that door. And so that's the example that I think of in that moment. So it's like if you're having that come up and you're feeling like, Oh my gosh, I'm not worthy of this. This is scaring me and the fear comes in that that again becomes a signal where you get to work with it and be like, what part of me? Is so deeply afraid of connecting with God or my guardian angels, or maybe my lost loved one and wants to turn it into this like horror Hollywood movie experience, rather than just opening up and being curious and surrendering to whatever is coming through.

Lindsey: 39:57

Yeah. So, over the last five years, how did you use your spiritual practice to develop your Psychic, psychism, and eventually, when did you decide that you wanted to offer it to people?

Kayla: 40:19

So, you know, it's one of those things for me that's always been there. I actually got my first... First oracle card deck when I was about eight years old and I used that, you know, looking back now I recognize that I was using it as maybe a form of a coping mechanism. I never did it as a, you know, for a planned outcome like to maybe become more psychic or or to heal or whatever and like now that I'm an adult, you know, maybe I use those kinds of excuses for my Spiritual practice, but when I'm willing to actually encounter my shadow and really look at it, I was using it as like a form of coping with sort of this feeling of knowing that there's something more out there and trying to find my way to tapping into. That and so it started when I was young and then I was always the The kid who would maybe like have deja vu and it would happen or like, you know Someone would pass away in the family and they would come to me in the dreams like that just had always happened for me and then in my teenage years and up until about I was 20. It was kind of muted. Like I didn't focus on that. You know, it was obviously prioritizing other things, social life and things like that at that time. But then once life started to slow down and I had my kids because I had my first child when I was 21. Um, once that started to happen. That door started to open up again and I started to get involved in yoga was the first thing and then through that I was exploring Reiki, which at the time I had no idea what it was. I went to a crystal shop and I saw a flyer for Reiki and then it just kind of kept popping up in my field and I had no idea what it was. I just signed up and We did meditation that weekend, like we spent the whole weekend in meditation and that was the first time I had ever done that and it was at that moment after we finished that first weekend that my, let's just call it extrasensory abilities started to come online. So I actually started to be able to see energy and sense things in a new way. And, you know, that was my experience. It may not be everybody's experience when they do say like a Reiki attunement, but that was my experience. And then it just, I kept working with it and through working with it and, um, playing with it, it got stronger.

Lindsey: 43:07

Was the point when you became a mother, was that like, do you feel that was a crucial turning point into this expression?

Kayla: 43:18

Absolutely. Yeah. And again, I feel that it was completely divine because at the time, I was feeling very sort of like lost and confused with life. And I was with, who's now my husband, a man who's five years older than me. And he was just very independent, very self assured. He had his, his own things going on. And I was coming from a family of like codependency. I was, um, programmed with people pleasing and all that kind of stuff. And so when I would Be in the home and I didn't have work. You know, I was done work or whatever. And I'd be in the house by myself. I would have this like feeling of like, Oh, my gosh, you know, this is like really confronting being alone or whatever. And I just I knew I had this sort of love and energy and attention that I wanted to pour into someone because I had that patterning of not knowing how to pour it into myself. And so then I actually said a prayer one night and I remember being like, if the timing is right and it's meant to be. Please deliver me a baby and it happened and and then from there. Yeah, it really was like a huge Transformation within me because then I was able to kind of channel that more repressed energy of as a person Who's like a nurturer a giver? I was able to pour it into my kids and now we're at this moment where it's starting to turn and like come back full circle and I'm starting to see these moments where it's like, oh, I actually need to like take some of that and pour into me too, right? So, yeah, it's been a huge growth process having children.

Lindsey: 45:06

Yeah, yeah. And You mentioned you're at this turning point now where you pour it back in to you. What does that look like?

Kayla: 45:16

Yeah, so that has been huge because like I said so many of my patterns and programming um It has to do with looking externally, putting other people's needs before my own. And I think a lot of women are like that. And I think systematically, like through the patriarchy, we've been trained for that in a way. And so really starting to, to confront those patterns within myself and like notice them and um, It's really come up a lot for me in this past year because all three of my kids are now in school They're all school aged now. And so I have these moments where wow, I have the full day You know Monday to Friday where I have the privilege of being able to design my day and do what I want to do And I would find myself in those moments Sometimes not knowing what to do, sometimes not knowing how to actually choose myself and how in those moments of thinking that I'm choosing myself, like, okay, I'm going to go do some exercise. Okay, I'm going to go do some journaling. Okay, I'm going to book this with this client or whatever. My mind and my patterning would automatically kind of go into these patterns of thinking of other people and worrying about other people. And I had, I've really had to actively work on bringing it back into me and like checking in with myself and being like, okay, what do you want? What do you need? And then even when I commit to something or decide to do something, checking in again and being like, but is this really what you want for you? Or are you doing this? For somebody else, right?

Lindsey: 47:04

Yes, yes. Uh, I love that you said that. For someone who identifies as a people pleaser, and maybe they're actually just realizing it now. You're so right. I think that it's huge for mothers especially. And we are kind of sold that that is the job. And in some ways it is, but it's an act of devotion that also We have to honor and devote to ourselves. How can someone begin to change those patterns of people pleasing?

Kayla: 47:40

Well, again, coming into acceptance, so not like rejecting the idea or thinking that there's something wrong with you, realizing that a lot of these Patterns are tied together. So like a person who's going to default to people pleasing and perfectionism and those kinds of things, usually they're going to create bonds or partner up with people that are the opposite. So I like to look at it as nervous system responses, because that's usually like one of the easier things to identify. So if you're a people pleaser, That's the FON response, you know, always looking externally over compensating over giving over loving lacking boundaries And then with that there's also the freeze response So to me FON response and freeze response kind of tie together. And so the freeze response is just another form of like I don't want to experience whatever it is. I'm experiencing. So I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop it. I'm going to avoid it. I'm going to disassociate. I'm going to numb out. I'm going to try and cope with it. And so those kinds of people, they're naturally going to partner up or sync up or get into dynamic with people who are dropping into the fight response or the flight response. Right, so these are people for the fight response. They're always on the defense. They're always on the go. They're ready to kind of fight literally and then flight is like abandonment. So right there, they're gonna bounce if they're feeling uncomfortable If you've triggered them, they're out there bounce like that's it, right? and so what happens is we will link up and then kind of create this perpetual loop of like always experiencing those same ego wounds Over and over and over so once you start to realize okay, you know what? Yeah, i'm a people pleaser I've identified that within myself But I also accept that as who I am and i'm not going to put all the fault on me because again The fond person is going to take responsibility for things that are not theirs Don't take full ownership realize that you're likely and dynamic with other people Or even just like external situations that are dropping you into that response and it's normal to have triggers It's normal to have nervous system responses. Like, if we were meant to be all enlightened 100 percent of the time, we wouldn't exist within this dimension right now. So, accepting that phone response, as it is, and using it as signals to be like, Oh, I'm choosing other people again. Time to choose me.

Lindsey: 50:23

Yes, yes. I'm so glad that you mentioned that you said if, if we're enlightened, we wouldn't be here because that's, that's so true. And to frame things like that for me, and I hope that other people hear it this way, just means that everything is a lesson. And we don't have to hyper identify, even if I am. And someone who identifies as a people pleaser, alchemize it, use it. You don't have to sink into it and just be like, well, oh well, that's me. It's like, this is, this is what I'm going to alchemize and turn into the next evolution of who I am. Mm hmm. And, and not hyper identifying with, with whatever it is. Which is so, Easy to do, especially when we're living unconsciously, like in, in lack of awareness. It's really easy to identify as everything outside of ourselves.

Kayla: 51:28

Yeah. And, you know, another thing too, is it's like, You might recognize that your typical pattern of responses like people pleasing and fond responses, but we have all of them within us at all times. It's just that whatever is in your external environment, you know, whatever you're in relationship with is actually causing. That, that pattern to take place. So if you, if you change the way that you relate to the external, whether that's other people or just the environment itself, then your response patterns will all ultimately change. And there's moments and seasons of your life where, you know, the fun response might be required. Also moments and seasons of your life where the fight response. Might be required and like in different relationships, too. So they're not bad things. They're things that you can work with. And I think, yeah, the gateway to that is through awareness.

Lindsey: 52:31

Yeah. Yeah. I want to tie this up with using these tools, but also trusting the flow of life. What does trusting the flow of life look like to you?

Kayla: 52:47

So trusting the flow of life would be allowing creation to happen. The opposite of that is the resistance, and that's where the controlling comes in. And a lot of times, life has a greater and bigger plan than what we could ever imagine. Like if you would have showed me or told me, say, seven years ago that this is what I would be doing and that this is what my life would look like, I would, I probably wouldn't even know what to say. I think a lot of me would be amazed, like a big parts of me would be amazed. And then also very curious as to how this unfolded. And. I think that that's a big piece is just allowing life to happen instead of trying to control it in some way.

Lindsey: 53:45

Yeah, you mentioned Michael Singer at the top and that's I, I always like to ask people about trusting the flow of life because of his book, The Surrender Experiment. I'm not sure if you've read it, but I actually haven't read that one. It's, it's life changing to, to come at life with this idea that. There is something that wants to be created through me, and there's creation happening all around, and I don't have to have the map, necessarily. And I think that's really important for manifestation and just for healing. Healing ourselves is that I don't have to have the map, I can respond to what comes in and go from there and trust those little pings along the way that say move across the country.

Kayla: 54:37

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And yeah, knowing that that that can lead you to all kinds of places and open new doors and allow you to experience things that you didn't even know were possible for you.

Lindsey: 54:52

Yeah. So we always end with. Well, two, two questions that we end with one is, is there a starting over that you can feel like percolating for you right now?

Kayla: 55:07

Yeah, the one that's really percolating a lot. I kind of touched on it is like relationships starting over with relationships because it's once you, um, identify certain patterns within yourself that you recognize, okay, this is not serving me. I want to change these patterns and create something new. I want to start over in this way. You have to learn how to like relate to others in a new way. So for me Starting over in relationships is the key for me because I know that's going to impact my own self image And ultimately allow me to get to where I want to be and experience the things that I want to experience

Lindsey: 55:48

Hmm. And is there something specific that you're doing right now to start over in relationships? It's

Kayla: 55:55

really subtle and just like constant tiny baby steps in conversation with other people. Noticing those moments when other people are actually trying to maybe project guilt. And shame on to me because as a person who kind of defaults to fond response and has those people pleasing behaviors normally, like as an empath, I'm just going to take whatever you're projecting onto me and like, make it something I need to fix or make it something about me. And so I've actually just been really practicing noticing when people are projecting guilt and shame on to me. It's like, Oh. Wow, they just, they feel bad about this and in this conversation with me, they're actually trying to make me feel bad and it has nothing to do with me, so I'm actually going to reject that projection. I'm not going to accept it. It's not going to enter my field. And just those tiny little baby steps or like and then went in that moment kind of maybe standing up for myself in the conversation or saying, Oh, I disagree or no, I'm not okay with that, you know, setting those little boundaries, but the baby steps towards that. That's how I'm kind of bringing it about in my life.

Lindsey: 57:15

That's so perfect. Yeah. Is there a book that you are loving right now or? Maybe just one that you recommend to everyone

Kayla: 57:26

Yeah, do you know what I've been like if you've been on my Instagram stories, and I know this is gonna air later but I I've been talking a lot about this book called when God was a woman by Merlin Stone. And, um, this is actually, it's a really great book for anybody who's interested in learning more about the goddess, the divine feminine, if you want to get more in touch with maybe divine feminine practices and like just that idea of actually accepting who you are, not just like the great things, but also the shadows, Bye. Bye. Bye. And, and also understanding where in ancient history, things changed from worshiping the goddess, which was actually very, very prevalent thousands of years ago to actually creating this tradition. Thank you. Only male, uh, figure of God and like all the patrilineal Structures that followed that and systems that followed that that we're now seeing them change dissolve shift All of that crumble some of them even right and collapse and so All of that external stuff creates change within us, and I think that that book, it's actually, it was ahead of its time because it was written in 1975, and if you try to find it on Amazon, it's actually, it's, it's a little bit hard to find. Sometimes you'll have to go through the used section and try to find a used one, but it's, it's such a good read because the author Is, um, she studied archeology and ancient art and she used that to just create a very great presentation of how things have unfolded and not in a way that's like overly feminism, like, you know, kind of bashing down the masculine. It's not that at all. It's like very objective, very factual, but then also revealing kind of like these spiritual truths that we all know within, right? I want to read it. Yeah. Yeah, you should read it. It's really good I was actually I was pulling cards for myself this morning And the card that came through was um, I was pulling from the divine feminine oracle And the card that came through was lala the saint of spoken words and In there, when you read the guidebook, it speaks about the idol, sort of like God, or whatever you want to, um, imagine there. And then the temple. And so you could think of, like, the idol as maybe like the more masculine or, um, embodied form, material form of the energy. And then the temple itself is the feminine. And the way I like to look at it... Now is it's like, we've been operating with this kind of male idol visualization of, of God, and also like how, how everything's supposed to look as we worship, maybe that male God, but without that temple, right, without that sense of, of safety. And that's the feminine. And I think with us. Rejecting and oppressing and suppressing the feminine, it's created so much trauma within our collective psyche because it's like, if I sin, I'm, I'm not accepted. I'm rejected. I am bad. I'm not worthy. And the feminine loves us with all our flaws. You know, even if all of society rejects us. We still have that temple within the feminine that welcomes us in with all of our shadows, right? And I think that that's, like, the missing link. So, for me, it's been a really transformative read that I highly recommend.

Lindsey: 1:01:22

This is, it reminds me of something that you said to me a few months back about moving, like, transitioning from this maiden. Energy like into matriarch. Yeah. And, and that is divine feminine. And I mean, really a lot of work that we're like personal development work that we're doing here on earth is due to us being stuck because of thousands of years of trauma being stuck like in that. Maiden and and projecting that out that like, oh i'm i'm forever this Exactly. This maiden. And we need those rites of passage to move, to like, ascend into the next

Kayla: 1:02:01

level. Absolutely. Like, we're seeing it so much reflected in social media, so much around healing and trauma and anxiety. And it's like, but where does all this come from? And when you read about books about ancient history, it's like, They did encounter trauma. Absolutely. But they didn't have to kind of like go through the steps of maybe like healing it because Um, it was different times back then, you know, the the wounds and trauma were accepted, you know And they were integrated whereas now it's like there's something wrong with me And so now I think that that's what we're learning how to do

Lindsey: 1:02:41

Right. Yeah fix fix change change versus integrate And use whatever the pain or the wound is. Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it. Yeah. So tell us how people can find you.

Kayla: 1:02:59

Okay, so go check out the Pathway to Paradise podcast. You can find that on Spotify or on iTunes or any other major podcasting platforms. Um, you can also go follow me on Instagram, pathway2. paradise and Maybe we'll put a link in the show notes for my Facebook group. I've got a free Facebook group and I go in there and I do live readings and drop some kind of spiritual teachings and things like that in there every once in a while.

Lindsey: 1:03:27

Amazing. Yeah, we'll put everything in the show notes, the books we talked about, the, the freebie that you have. I'll find that scale. We'll put it all. It'll be a lengthy show notes with everything everyone needs to know because I know they're going to want all this information. Perfect. Yeah. Yeah. So, thanks so much. This has been great. Thank

Kayla: 1:03:51

you so much, Lindsay. I've enjoyed this so much. So honored

Lindsey: 1:03:54

to be on your show. I feel like we could do a, an entire. second episode that's just about Divine feminine and healing

Kayla: 1:04:01

that oh, I would love to absolutely we did talk a lot about mindset in today's episode So I do have a really easy and simple five page guidebook It's called the mindset makeover guidebook and we could put a link for that in the show notes But that would be a great place for people to start if they want to explore Maybe my perspective and some little beliefs. These are just prompts, so it's just a guidebook of prompts, different mindset prompts that encourage you to think and believe differently. So that's something that I would love to share with your audience. And other than that, I, I think we're all

Lindsey: 1:04:41

set. Cool. Amazing. All right. Thank you.