Sit with me while I admit a deep dark little tattoo artist secret. I have feelings about it when my long term clients go to someone else.
I don't know if this term has been used before, but I say Polytattery refers to clients getting work done by several tattoo artists in the same time period.
It can be awkward for us both if you don't say anything ahead of time. Or if you come back with a new piece by someone else and ask me to touch it up for you.
Hear me wrestle with my own ego and admit to you what feels best and what doesn't.
And then... hear the tale that has defined my last week of existence. It does have to do with dentistry, but it's not graphic.
Sit with me while I admit a deep dark little tattoo artist secret. I have feelings about it when my long term clients go to someone else.
I don't know if this term has been used before, but I say Polytattery refers to clients getting work done by several tattoo artists in the same time period.
It can be awkward for us both if you don't say anything ahead of time. Or if you come back with a new piece by someone else and ask me to touch it up for you.
Hear me wrestle with my own ego and admit to you what feels best and what doesn't.
And then... hear the tale that has defined my last week of existence. It does have to do with dentistry, but it's not graphic.
Hello, darlings, Micah Riot here with another episode of Ink Medicine Podcast. It's May 16th 2024. It's a Thursday when I'm recording this and it will be out on Friday the 17th. It's a Thursday when I'm recording this and it will be out on Friday the 17th. The title of this episode, poly tattery, refers to what we tattoo artists think of as um polyamorous clients. I'm saying with a question mark because it's a topic that's a little bit hard to wrap your mind around, because for some people it's no big deal at all and for other people we have feelings. And I've also been asked by clients before how I would feel if somebody who's been tattooed by me for years would then start going to somebody else all of a sudden. And I've also had clients be weird and shady about going to somebody else because they felt awkward about it, and sometimes shady about going to somebody else because they felt awkward about it. And sometimes they would go to somebody else and then come back to me because the piece they got from somebody else wasn't really great, so they wanted me to fix it because they trusted me, and so all of those things are things I'd like to discuss in today's episode. So at the outset I have to say that there are a lot of different kinds of clients, but in my career I found that there are two main types. There's a type of client who wanted to find their person and they found their person in this case me and then they would come to me for years and you know, to continue bigger pieces, to get smaller pieces. Something would happen in their life, they would want a new piece. They'd come back to me, they would send me their kids later, when the kids grow up and turned 18, their parents, their friends, so on. So those are a lot of my like. Loyal base of my clientele are people who really like having their person that they go to, and maybe here and there those people might be traveling, getting a little souvenir here and there, and that's like an experience they want to have. But for the most part I am their person and they just keep coming back to me year in, year out.
Micah Riot:
Then there's clients who are collectors. They want different pieces and different styles from different folks in different places, maybe sometimes in the same place, like Bay Area is just full of amazing tattooists, and so yeah, of course, I have also had clients who were happy to come to me. We had a connection, we had a great time, maybe did even bigger piece, but then they wanted to go collect from somebody else and sometimes it's in the same style, like, say, they're really into watercolor or abstract work and they just keep going to different people who do that style and sometimes it would be like different things just because people were interested in different styles from different famous tattoo artists. So when that is known at the outset that the person is a collector, that feels completely fine to me personally. That they are going to keep going and collect different pieces from different people, like it's something that we know in advance and it's something that doesn't bug me.
Micah Riot:
The thing that I would say probably feels a little bit more sensitive to me is when people came to me for a bigger piece and then went to somebody else that they didn't research very well and they got a piece that isn't great and then they want to come back to me to have it fixed and I'm really happy to help out somebody that I already know and really already care about. Like I'm totally down to fix a piece that they aren't happy with, because I want people that I care about and also people in general, out there to have work that they are happy to look at. That doesn't make them feel weird or sad when they look at it. I'm, in general, happy to do that. But there's a part of my ego that gets activated because I work in so many different styles that even if they went to somebody else for, like, a more traditional style of work like I, could do that shit too. So why didn't you just come to me in the first place, since you already trust me and I get it? Like people want different experiences. I mean, I myself have a collection from different people. I love the people I've gone to, but for various reasons, some having to do with me and some having to do with them, like their location or their style.
Micah Riot:
I'm not coming back to them for more, but I do tend to seek out like specialists in their fields. Right now, I'm really interested in ornamental black work and that is what I'm going after. Like I'm seeking out people who do ornamental black work and wanting to get tattooed by them specifically. So, to be honest, I'm not saying it's great that I have feelings about this, like my job is to do tattoos and my job is to do them for people well and to care for the people who are coming to me to get tattoos, to care for them as whole human beings, and those whole human beings will wander off, like it will happen.
Micah Riot:
I'm actually kind of amazed when people don't, and it's not great that I have feelings about this, but I do, like I kind of how to put it I feel when I have a relationship with somebody and I've been tattooing them for a while and I know a lot about their history and who they are and what moves them, there is a part of me that feels like they're under my care, like I have these big wings and I have all these people under these wings part of my circle, part of my care. I extend my care to them energetically from then on and when they go to somebody else, a part of that feels broken and I'm yeah as I said, it's not great Like people have a right to autonomy in their own bodies and if they want to go to somebody else, they should most definitely go to somebody else. But there's a little piece of me that gets sad about it. That's ego. Yeah, and you know what, if I'm experiencing it, pretty sure that other people are experiencing it too.
Micah Riot:
I think tattoo artists will say to you that they don't care and like on a bigger scale, like we don't care, it's your body, do what you want with it. We're not going to like lose sleep over it or, you know, say something about it to you Like we're not, it's petty. But I would say that most people have feelings and that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go to somebody else. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't get your little souvenir when you're traveling. I think what it means is that what would feel the best to me as someone's like go-to tattoo artist as they're, you know, part of their team, part of their care team, care for their soul what would feel best to me is if the person would just like tell me about their plans To be like hey, I found this tattoo artist. I really want to get tattooed by them. They do this type of thing. It's super cool.
Micah Riot:
What do you think? Or not even, what do you think Like? I actually love to be asked what I think. Like. I would love to go check out their work and like make sure that I think it's solid and good. But if you don't ask me, you know what I think. That's fine too. I think just being told like here's what's going on, here's what I'm doing, would feel good. It's uh, it would feel better than having you come back for another session and seeing like a big piece on you that you just went and got Like you don't owe me anything. You know, it's true, you really don't, but like I don't know I care about you, so I want to know, you know, I don't know if it makes any sense.
Micah Riot:
This is why this episode is called polytattery, because it feels a little bit like polyamory, like someone who's super cool with polyamory you know fine with their partners having other partners, fine with their partners, you know, having adventures, but like just wants to be informed of what's happening, like doesn't want to control it, just wants to be informed. It's kind of how I feel about it, because we are all in relationship. We're all in relationship to each other, we're all in relationship to ourselves, we're all in relationship to the processes we have with each other, to the things we do together. And, yeah, I'm in relationship with all of you, all of you listening, all of you that I tattoo, all of you have yet to tattoo. There's going to be a relationship there and there's some relationship there as I start to think about who is going to be coming across my table, you know, in the future of my career. I started thinking about this earlier today because one of my friends, who became a friend after being a client for a while, texted me and said hello from here, and she sent me a link to the tattoo shop she was at on the East coast and she said I feel like I'm cheating on you, but I really need it. And she apologized and I said what are you getting? And she told me and I said I'm glad you're getting your needs met, even if it's by somebody who is not me. And then I said polytattery, and tell me how it goes. And it was kind of like all I really wanted needed, like it felt so considerate of her to tell me like even though of course you know she has full rights of going and getting tattooed by whoever she wants, wherever she wants it just felt really considerate for her to tell me. And I did not need her to apologize at all, but just to tell me. Here's what I'm doing and I feel really good about that. And that's probably all there is really to say on the topic of polytattery. And I wanted to tell you another story because it's been on my mind this week and because it's about relationships and I think about those a lot.
Micah Riot:
I had this dentist for the last bunch of years. I found him through a client of mine who had had Lyme and needed a lot of dental work to repair her teeth that were damaged from having Lyme for so long. And he did. And she was raving about him on Facebook and I was looking for a dentist and I saw her raving about him and I needed some work. That seems specific enough to that. I just couldn't just go anywhere and, you know, wanted somebody who I could trust, and so I made an appointment and went to him and really felt cared for, he did what he needed to do, my healing was fine and so on. And so over the years I'd go back to him and, you know, get my cleanings at his office and would get some dental work here and there.
Micah Riot:
And so last week I had a procedure that I needed to have done. He the year prior he tried to save a root canal of mine that was going south and he did and it it stood, it held for about a year and then at the last exam, he was like it's developing some infection underneath it. We need to take it out and put an implant in. And so I was like, okay. And so last week I came to my appointment and he took my tooth out. He put bone grafting material in my gum, sewed it up, and over the course of a bunch of days after the procedure I just wasn't feeling really good. It was really inflamed. I had a lot of pain and I was like is something wrong? Like do I need more attention to this? So I called his office over the weekend and the assistant told me that he had had a medical emergency. He wasn't available and she gave me the number of somebody else and so I talked to this other person and the other person gave me more antibiotics.
Micah Riot:
And then a couple days later I called the office again and I was like is he gonna be back anytime soon? Like what's going on? Is he okay? And what the assistant told me was that she wasn't comfortable talking about it at the moment. And that was weird. And my lovely apprentice, my grandchild Sailor, was sitting across the room and Sailor was like, yeah, I get the feeling that maybe he's not okay, maybe he's gone. And I was like like shush it, you are making this up like drama, like hello drama. But that was weird what the assistant said. You know, I started to make plans, looking for somebody else to look at my mouth because I just wasn't feeling good about how I felt, you know. And so some days go by actually was leaving an exam in downtown San Francisco. I was on my way back to BART when I got a call from my dentist's office and his assistant told me that he indeed did pass away some days ago. He had a massive heart attack and he passed away. And even though I was sort of prepared for this news, because I already was thinking about it since that was what Sailor said happened I was still shocked and I started bawling, I just started crying and I sat down in Union Square and I just cried and cried and cried so hard. I really had no idea that it would affect me this way.
Micah Riot:
We didn't have a personal interpersonal relationship, right, he was my dentist, but he was a really caring human. He seemed at the outset like you'd think he was kind of like a basic old white dude, but like he actually wasn't that old. But he was quirky and weird. He was a Mormon, which I don't have a lot of interactions with Mormons Not that that means anything, but you know, there's sort of a mysticism around Mormonism and he did really good work and I really trusted him and I felt good in his care and I realized that I don't have a lot of cis men that I trust to care for me and he was one that I do. That I did that I did trust to care for me. I felt safe with him and I felt like he always told me what he was doing and he respected me as a human. He saw me as a whole human. He never commented on like my piercings or my tattoos. He just treated me like a whole person.
Micah Riot:
I'm crying like now about it. It's a loss. I didn't expect to feel this way about it, but it's true. And yeah, I sat there for a while and I called my friend client who I found out about him from originally, and I told her and she had this very similar reaction to me and some you know. A little bit later she texted me and she said there's going to be a funeral next week and I'm going to go and I said I would also like to go. Let's go together. So we're going to go together. We're going to a Mormon church for his funeral. I've never been to a Mormon church or Church of Latter-day Saints is preferred by that community and I am happy that we're going to go to the church and attend the service.
Micah Riot:
I would like to honor him. I'd like to be there. So that's story time for this week. That's the episode and that's the story time for this week for this week. That's the episode and that's the story time for this week. I so appreciate you listening. It's such an honor to be making something that other people think is interesting enough to spend their time listening to. I appreciate you so much and I hope you're about to have a very good weekend. Thank you.
