Sex and Intimacy - Hannah Elliott

https://hannahelliott.com/

https://www.instagram.com/sexualwellbeingforwomen/

Hannah is a Holistic Psychosexual and Somatic Trauma Therapist  working with women to help recognise their own unique and personal understanding of sexuality and sexual health; with the understanding that arising issues have roots in our psychology and our experiences which often creates a split between the emotional body and the physical body connection. Many issues around intimacy are related to dissociation of the mind-body connection. This is where Eastern approaches tend to be more helpful than current western approaches. The psychological elements of decreased arousal and desire are strongly linked to Stress, Anxiety and Despair. These create a stagnation in what Hannah calls the lower triangle. To address this we need to move out of the head and reconnect to the body. This can be something as simple as SOOTHING things like sighing, taking walks in nature and warm baths.  We live in an overstimulated environment. With a strong hedonistic, ego influenced culture. Porn can be seen as a symptom of our overstimulation. It seems we are addicted to this hyperstimulation in many areas of our home and work lives with constant barrage of lights, sounds, alerts and information.

We need to take EXTRA EFFORT to connect as couples. Turn off the TV, put away the phones, be present.Make the other feel heard. Dress up nicely for ourselves and for our partners. Connect and be interested in their day. Sensate focus: SLOW IT DOWN. Turn the lighting down. Give feedback as to what touch is good or not. 

Mid-life crises: Can be linked to the challenges of female Menopause but often overlooked is the male Andropause with lower testosterone levels, shifting life focus and a common symptom is grumpiness. We need to create more safe space for men who can be addicted to being busy, in a very materialistic “patho-adolescent” society. Allowing and creating an environment for men to move into true adulthood and towards becoming true elders, which is not something that comes automatically with age. 

Listening to your body. Do you have body signals like skin rashes or other areas of body inflammation (eg digestive disorders like IBS or autoimmune like issues)? These can be areas of unconscious stress or unresolved conflict from earlier in your life. Constant life stress activates the Fight or Flight response which turns on the Proinflammatory part of healing system, which is important if you’re just about to be mauled by a tiger. This is the important first phase of healing but we need to move out of that into the Rest and Digest stage which allows for the next two phases of healing the allow for replacement of damaged cells and regeneration. But if we never activate this Parasympathetic side to our nervous systems in this sympatheritc dominance, we stay inflamed.  Ask yourself: Does my body feel “In Harmony”?

There are acupuncture points in the sexual organs that link to other parts of the body. So stimulation of these affect our physical and emotional states.

Contact: tim.thenaturalyou@gmail.com Instagram Facebook
Producer Matthew Wood - mw250204@gmail.com
Music by MarkJuly from Pixabay