Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing An Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast will go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 61, “Getting Organized is About Finding Alignment.” Hey y’all! So, in last week’s episode, I defined how I see the term alignment. It’s a bit of a buzz word in the personal development space and for good reason. The more research that’s done on the brain, the psychology of habits and change, and science of healing, the more folks are accepting more of a holistic approach to living. Whether you’re someone who’s really into the shared, interconnected energetic fields of living beings or someone who’s solely guided by logic, the concept of alignment will resonate. Alignment facilitates ease of movement and ease of being, and therefore it makes total sense in many areas of life. If you haven’t listened to Episode 60, I invite you to go back and check it out. It will give you a clearer understanding of what I’ll be talking about today.
A few weeks ago, in one of my guest teaching appearances, I was talking with folks about why we’re so attached to certain belongings and the internal resistance you may feel when it comes to letting go. I made a reference to the concept of internal alignment and how it either works in our favor or against us when it comes to decluttering. So, of course, I thought I’d share with you – my favorite people - how I see the relationship between getting organized and finding inner alignment. Just like last week’s episode, I think this relationship will be best understood from the place of contrast – what it looks and feels like to be ‘in alignment’ versus ‘out of alignment’ when it comes to decluttering, getting organized, and meeting your home life goals.
So, in today’s episode, I’m going to build a bridge between where you may be right now, and where you want to go. I’ll offer three steps as a pathway. Each of us has a different sense of what tidy, organized, or functional means. Each of us has a different set of goals when it comes to our living spaces. As I share my experience, from coaching many dozens of folks on this topic, I’ll invite you to apply the concept to your individual experience. Ultimately, we all want our homes to be places of comfort. Of restoration. Of respite. We want our homes to be spaces where we can be 100% ourselves, without the masks, capes, or armor that may be needed for life outside. We want our homes to be places of connection, for ourselves and those we care about.
Yet, if you’re here, if you’re in this loving community, you may be seeking a better understanding of why getting and staying organized is such a challenge. You may be seeking solutions that lead to the holistic change I mentioned a few moments ago. You know that decluttering and organization are lifestyle changes that take time and emotional resilience, and that the rewards of taking each step compound. Some of you listening are colleagues who are in support of this approach, and I’m grateful for your willingness to consider a different perspective.
So, let’s start there. Over and over, I’ll encourage you to revisit your why, as it may evolve. Why do you – in particular – desire an organized life or home? This is the foundational question for our exercise in alignment. Knowing why is critical. Each of us is after a feeling. Earlier I mentioned comfort, restoration, and respite. For some of you, that may be spot on. For others of you, you’d like to restore a feeling of dignity. Others may want to stop bickering with your spouse, housemates, or children. Seeking feelings of calm and clarity are common reasons.
For me, I choose to embrace an organized home, because fewer objects means that I can find things, I have less to clean and manage, and when less objects are in my visual field, I feel much more mellow and relaxed. I don’t have that internal nudge or compulsion to get up and tidy. When surfaces are clear and I can classify things as having a home, it’s easier to sit still, connect with those around me, or intentionally choose what to do with my time. My internal voice – that stems from generations of social, patriarchal programming of women – isn’t shouting at me to do more (or judging me for not having done enough).
These are a few of my why’s. The feeling I’m ultimately after is ‘satisfaction.’ Satisfaction comes from a few specific thoughts, “I’ve curated my home the way I want it to be,” “These things, these people, this space is all mine,” and lastly, “I’m grateful for this space, so let me show it love and attention.” Seeing my home just as it is – in its imperfect state – leads to a feeling of satisfaction. This is how I know I’m living in alignment with my space.
So, step one is knowing your deeper WHY for wanting an organized space is your best starting place. Lots of folks come to coaching calls and can easily identify their why, visualize what they want and desire, and describe how things will be “better” once they get it together. This part may be easy for you because you’ve begun to give yourself permission to want something different – but here’s the catch – you’ve begun to give yourself permission, but only intellectually. Logically, you can imagine less stuff. Logically, you can imagine clearer surfaces. Logically, you can imagine opening the closet, pantry, or garage to see items placed easily on the shelf. You can look at magazine photos, ASMR Tik Toks, or the social media before / afters of my brilliant in-home organizing colleagues and picture why those spaces would feel so much better.
Yet, when you look around, you see piles of paper, old electronics, baby stuff from your teenagers, or items from other generations mixed in with décor from your life and travels. Your current reality – whatever that may be – is not where you want to be. You’ve got kids. You’ve got a mix of neurotypical folks and neurodivergent folks. You’ve got aging parents to care for. You’ve got work commitments and unpaid household responsibilities. You’ve got a loved one needing additional physical, emotional, or medical needs. Intellectually, you can slow down long enough to know why you want to get organized, but when it comes to practically doing it… that’s a different story.
Your home, your living environment, is out of alignment with your inner desire. Pause here for a moment and breathe that in for me. Your home, your living environment, is out of alignment with your inner desire. Again, alignment is when there’s very little friction or tension inside of us. At this moment, you may look around and think some version of, “I need to get this place organized,” or, “I really should be able to do a better job…” First, it’s my responsibility to remind you that – unless you live alone – caring for your home is not YOUR sole responsibility. It’s the job of everyone who lives there and everyone who makes an impact. Second, this inner tension indicates to you that there’s a misalignment.
Now, we’re going to have to dive a layer deeper, and trust me, this is where the real awareness and space for potential change exists. To recap, you know why you want to be organized. You can intellectually imagine things being different. You can get on board with the fact that the external clutter that currently exists in your home isn’t what you want. Basically, there’s a divide, or a misalignment between what you desire and what is… and there’s more.
There’s the work. There’s the physical and emotional work needed to bridge the divide. In past episodes I’ve talked about the three elements I believe are obstacles to the work of decluttering and getting organized: emotional avoidance, indecision, and self-doubt. Episodes 17, 18, and 19 introduce those. I’ve also shared how your limbic or primitive part of your brain absolutely wants to avoid the effort, the discomfort, and the energy expenditure needed to do this work. It’s literally working against you. It much prefers that you stay stuck rather than get started. It’s just doing its job, and you can love it… and you can outsmart it.
So where does this topic of inner alignment fit in? Your limbic brain has its agenda – not to do the work. On top of that, your logical brain is imagining, dreaming, visualizing the possibility of a clutter-free life. It’s loving the idea. You know what your brain wants, even though it may be a little conflicted. Yet, the one part of all of this we’ve left out is your heart. The wisdom of your gut. Your inner knowing or intuition.
I want you to pause here and check in with those wisdom centers. This is step two. Quiet your brain for a moment. You can do this while taking a walk, meditating, journaling, or any activity that helps you listen in more deeply to yourself. When you zoom out and feel in a big picture way, what is it that you truly want? Is it that feeling you’re seeking – that your brain identified as it’s why – at the top of the episode? Not to do the work or the effort of decluttering and organizing? To have a second set of hands or support to get it done. Listen in. Your heart has loads of wisdom. Your gut may be nudging you in one direction or another. Be radically honest with yourself. There’s no right answer, yet the one that your intuition or your soul offers forth is often the one that feels most aligned. It’s the quiet whisper of truth that will help guide your next steps.
I titled this episode, ““Getting Organized is About Finding Alignment,” because I see this as an essential element to help you stop spinning, get unstuck, and to take a step forward. We live in a society dominated by logic. You’re constantly battling incoming information about what’s the right way to keep your home and manage your space. It can be a challenge to filter out the noise and trust what your truth may be. You may want to be a maximalist with lots of things on the walls and on the shelves, AND you may decide that there’s still too much coming in and need to make a plan to manage your space. You may sense that you overbuy or overspend thinking that the items will make you feel better, AND being radically honest is that it’s not about the stuff but instead a shopping addiction. You may hear that other people need to step up and manage their fair share of the housework, and that you want everyone to declutter.
Your organization journey will be served best by finding alignment between your inner knowing and the competing priorities of your brain. So, step three is to reconcile any divide or difference between the answer your heart gives and the answers that your brain is giving. Less friction. Less tension. More alignment. Self-compassion and kindness will be your best tools here, and this is a lot of the inner work I help folks with in my one-to-one coaching practice. The work to declutter and get organized is what it is. It takes time, energy, and focus. There are no shortcuts. However, the journey will be much, much easier if you get your heart and your mind on the same page.
If you’ve ever heard yourself say some version of, “I’ll get around to it one day,” or “I’ve just got to get started,” you’re experiencing inner friction between what your inner wisdom deeply desires and what your brain wants. You’re most likely out of alignment. If you find yourself daydreaming about a more streamlined life but can’t find the time to act, you’re most likely out of alignment. On the surface it seems like competing priorities. On a deeper level, it's an inner discord between what your heart quietly desires and what your brain is shouting more loudly. Self-compassion and kindness will lead you to give more airtime to your inner wisdom. You’re more organized than you think. Your desires – the feelings you're seeking – matter. Value them. Treasure them. Listen to the wholeness of you and the messages your intuition sends. It’s a powerful way to acknowledge that the home and lifestyle you seek truly is within reach. Finding alignment will make those first few steps of decluttering and getting organized so much more accessible. Talk to y’all soon.
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