The Review Review

The Last Starfighter / Good Times & Noodle Salad (Guest: Chris Olds)

Ben McFadden & Paul Root Season 2 Episode 9

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We, and returning guest (not Lance) voice actor/trivia master/damn fine human being Chris Olds have all been replaced with beta units, and are off to adventure with "The Last Starfighter" (Dir. Nick Castle 1984). Starring: Lance Guest, Dan O'Herlihy, and Catherine Mary Stewart. Was this entire thing not only a test for "Starfighters," but movie effects as we know them? If you don't read everything on screen, how will you know your "Life. As a House?" And how aliens aren't the only ones that are gnarly from the eyebrows up. 

Plot: High schooler Alex Rogan conquers the Starfighter video game, only to find out it was just a test, and is transported to another planet. He has been recruited to join a team of the best starfighters to defend their world from the attack.

1hr 50mins

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**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

You fixed it. I fixed it. You fixed it. That's right. Hey, everybody.

Welcome to the Review Review. This is a movie podcast. I am one of the hosts of this podcast. My name is Ben. I am one of the hosts of this podcast as well.

My name is Paul. And we have a guest here today. A returning guest, mister Chris Olds is here. Hello. I am a guest on the podcast.

My name is Chris. He's returning here to guest on this podcast. This podcast, just in case you're a first time listener, long time caller, is that a thing? I take calls.

Oh, you do? Oh, buddy. You know what? Spam calls for this podcast. Spam calls, pig butcher calls.

You've heard of pig pig butchering. Right? No. Okay. We'll get into it in a second.

I have. Okay. Okay. So then on this podcast, we have somebody I know what pig butchering is. And we don't need to talk about it.

For you listening, go Google pig butchering. Okay. Anyway, on this podcast, we have a guest who will bring us a movie. That movie is, you know, slightly older, something they maybe haven't seen in a while, not part of a major franchise and they wanna revisit it. They bring it to us and say, hey, watch this assholes and then we watch it in our own time.

We all watch it and we come together and we decide what our ranking of that movie is out of 5. We have our 5 star ranking from Letterboxd, not a sponsor and, then we talk about it ad nauseam. And at the end of that conversation, we see if our ranking has changed. That's right. That's pretty much it.

Right? Nailed it. Alright. See you all later. Chris, what'd you think?

I think that's how I remember it going before. Okay. So I think I've come to the right apartment. We're on the right track. It'd be weird if this was another apartment doing a different podcast.

And I didn't know either one of you, but you welcomed me in anyway. But we were both just beta versions. Oh. Very good. That clunk was my headphones falling.

You mean, like, you're a beta? Yeah. I I cannot wear those. Are you a wait. Are you a beta cuck?

Sorry. Absolutely. It was a moment anyway. Wow. Is that where they got the name?

Is that where all the alt right wing people got the name from this movie? Almost did another example of the alt right taking the wrong message. Learning the wrong lessons. Speaking of this movie, the movie that Chris brought us is the last star fighter. Yeah.

It is. And we're going to talk about it a lot. But before we do that, I'm gonna ask Paul, how are you? Oh, I guess I'm not gonna edit this part out. I'm sitting here with, like, my palm against my face.

This is the kind of, like, funny part. Is it was is it Shakespearean? Is it tragic? Like, a week and a half ago, I had a temporary crown break. And it's caused, like, some really weird tightness in my face, like, the imbalance of, like, kind of having a hole in my face.

And I went in today and got a new temporary put on as the permanent crown hasn't come back from the lab. And within an hour, it broke. Oh. What? So where are you getting these crowns?

Dude, it's like my back. You're gonna stop eating so many corn nuts. I know. I'm falling apart. I I love corn nuts and what's how are you?

How are how are your corn nuts? I'm doing pretty good. We went to pioneer town this, last, weekend, which I don't know if you know where that is. It's right outside of Joshua Tree, but it was like a western town built in the forties for filmmaking, for western filmmaking. Not a lot to do in that town.

And we record store there. I didn't see a record store. Which one do you know? Oh, I don't remember. You seem so confident.

There's one there, though. I was almost ready to go. The Pappy and Harriet's is the place that everyone goes. It's like a barbecue joint where they, like, they have, like, live music there. We almost went and saw Save Farris 1 night.

Mhmm. Well, it was like Random. Yeah. I thought Babes in Toyland there once. Okay.

Yeah. Keanu Reeves? No. It's like a nineties, Riot Girl band. You know?

Oh, cool. Okay. You know, remember Save Farris? Yes. Okay.

So they got that name from the Ferris Bueller's Day Off in Ferris. Yeah. You got it. Anyway, had barbecue there. And then the other place is Red Dog, in that's the only other place to eat there.

Great, Rose. Like Okay. That's what I did. Corn nut story. Ate a lot of corn nuts when I was, like, 13.

Threw them up. Then I was on ski bus the next morning, and I was so sick because I kept throwing up corn nuts. Chris, how are you? Oh, good. Haven't had corn nuts in years, to be honest.

Yeah. I mean, you didn't expect want me now? Didn't expect it to become such a prevalent theme. My sister loves Corn Nuts. That's my main experience with them.

Welcome to Corn Nuts Thank you. The podcast. Thank you. Other than that, I'm doing alright. I just moved to a new place in Highland Park.

Cool. Okay. Working up in Eagle Rock and just living my life, having a good go. Having a good go. If you love karaoke, if you love great DJs, if you have great food, if you love a good rum drink.

I went for a DJ show. I saw mister Chris Olds, and I was like, dude, can I get just a fucking phenomenal rum drink? And he was like, yeah. Where? Fucking 60 seconds later, like, a little piece of heaven was right in front me.

Go go go go, do the karaoke, have the good food, see the good food. You haven't said where? The fable in Los Angeles. The fable. Eagle Rock.

Eagle Rock. All the way the fuck up in Eagle Rock. Where Cole Trickles from. It's funny. We have, like, a small cocktail menu.

All must be better from, like, a very expensive cocktail place. Yeah. I don't make a lot of cocktails there. It's a lot of beer, a lot of gin and tonics, a lot of vodka sodas, but thank you for coming in and challenging me. We have, like, 3 or 4 bottles of rum.

So you asked me for something from our smallest spirit category. You nailed it. Yeah. Sure. Let's go.

You nailed it. But that's the thing. It's like if you go in there and you're just like, I want to vodka drink. I want to whiskey drink. Whatever it is that you like, this gentleman We don't have cider drink.

Is probably up to the challenge. Oh, god. That was the tough That just destroyed all of the I know. Ruined everything. Yeah.

How dare you? Without it out. Well, now we know everyone's doing. We do. We need to get to the really important stuff.

Okay. Let's do it. What people are watching? What are we watching? I need these frames.

Oh, thanks. $70 on Zenny. Oh, not bad. Yeah. Not bad.

Chris, what are you watching? Anything you wanna tell the people about that you're like a lot of people, I'm watching FX's Shogun. Yes. Oh, yeah. Sure.

It's spectacular. Yeah. It's absolutely spectacular. Well written, well acted. They're doing a fun thing with the translation on that show Yeah.

Where, you know, we've got this British sailor who's come into Japan, and this one woman gets assigned to be his translator, and she doesn't exactly say what people are saying what, like, what our main charac well, what the Englishman is saying to the Japanese people, she's not doing a one for 1. So this is an Ohtani betting situation. Yeah. Yeah. She's stealing from him and betting on the English.

But here's a question that I have. Are they actually speaking English, or are they speaking Portuguese? When they're speaking English on the show, they're actually speaking Portuguese. That's what I thought. Yeah.

I wanna get to Shogun. It's like boil. It's like the back the back burner boiling situation. Speaking of boiling, anything else you're watching? Uh-oh.

Spoiler alert under that. I just saw Last Night with the Devil Late Night with the Devil. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Go ahead, please.

Excellent. David Dastmalchian turning on the late night host charm Mhmm. Is something very fun to see because he always plays, like, super creeps and weirdos. Yeah. A lot of the time.

Yeah. Yeah. He really kills it. And then everyone in the movie is good. The house band, as a musician, these guys deserve an Oscar, a Grammy.

They're playing the actual music Oh, shit. On film in the studio with everybody, and it is all original music written for this thing, which is a late night talk show in 1977. And the music itself is, like, spot on. It doesn't feel fake. Yeah.

You can see this band playing it, and they kill it. It's so good. I've been waiting for that one to come out for The music is so good because I saw it we both saw it together Yeah. That I don't even remember it because it fit into the world so well. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. As a drummer, I was laser focused on it. Yeah. Of course. The movie is so insanely immersive.

When we talked about it before, it's like when when they're the band starts playing, you almost wanna clap along because everything, like, it fits together so well. And that may actually make sense what you're saying in terms of like, like, oh, that's, like, in the space also, and it's, like, made specifically, etcetera, etcetera. It's like, oh, woah. Like, that's part of that immersion that happens. I'm not sure of it.

I think the first the first thing that really made it jump out to me, the music, was when the medium, Chris Do, when Chris Do walked out after being introduced, and they were playing this kind of, like, mystical like, a very seventies mystical Middle Eastern with, like, an oboe as the main as, like, the lead instrument on it. It was like dollar store Johnny Carson. It was so good. It was very specific. I sent my brother to watch it, guest of this podcast, Derek.

Not because he likes horror. He's not a horror fan. But he is obsessed, and I'm sure he's listening to this, not at this moment, but at some point I was a little Oh, no. But he's he's obsessed with talk shows, in particular, like, that this era and, like, Johnny Carson and then the eighties. So I was, like, I think you're gonna fucking dig this.

And he saw it last night, and he was, like, that was incredible. Yeah. Yeah. It's a different experience. There's a part of me that's a little bit, like, oh, that's a bummer where a lot of people seem to have decided to review bomb this thing or whatnot, and not know what it is, or really explore this piece of art and just make this decision or, like, cast this aspersion on it or what.

It's just I don't know. I haven't It's weird. It's just like an artist who's concerned about It's an interesting call. Element of AI and things. It's I I don't know.

It's an interesting conversation though because I I feel yeah. Watch it. But I also feel like where do you draw the line particularly? Because I think not you, but you. Because I think The greater you.

Yeah. Because I think the you. The fact is, like, AI in in many films, especially blockbusters, are used for previs and used for storyboards almost universally at this point. Oh, it's like the Dune, the blue eyes in Dune Sure. Dune part 2.

Like, AI is used to track that. And so, like, and that's, like, mountains of work for a variety of CG artists. Right? Sure. But, obviously, that's time consuming and takes a lot of Sure.

So I guess, like, where do people draw their lines? I like the idea of it mostly being used for organization and efficiency more than anything else. How do we improve organization and efficiency in terms of adding Do you know the AI conversation around this movie? Yeah. So they used AI to create 3 interstitial images, like, going to and coming from break.

And there's also one of them that's in the background of the set, but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the movie. Yeah. And they say, you know, well, we didn't really have the budget to pay with you know? Or they might not have even said that. People just it's this whole shit storm.

The whole thing, you can't even figure out what's real. I don't know why you're time, like, you know, you could just and now people have come out online and, like, done their own renderings by hand. Artists have come out and made those images by hand and takes on it, whatever. And so, you know, they could have easily paid someone a couple grand to draw that. You know what I mean?

Totally. But I think the problem that I have isn't that. It's the fact that we're making this the cornerstone of the argument Right. When AI is literally ingrained throughout our industry in a multitude of ways. People don't point in attacking there's no point in attacking this indie thing.

We should be attack well, we should be What about the Marvel Secret Secret Invasion? Their entire introduction was credits. And that's Disney. Like, they have they have the deepest pockets of any bat. When we're take taking this independent film and dragging it through the fucking why?

I don't understand it fully either. That's why I was saying just, like, go consume it. Like, see the thing and make the decision for yourself. Yeah. And, like, how is it that I wrote a review on this and I wanna get off this subject.

I feel like I'm like harping on it. Sorry. No. I think it's an interesting conversation. No.

I wrote it in my review where it's like, I don't think it added or detracted from my enjoyment of it. It became like a distraction thing where it was like, I just kinda wanted to have this immersive experience. Like, why does this need to be this extreme hot button as you both made excellent points, but also, like, Ben, what you're saying about, like, this is so laden throughout so many things. This is 3 images. We we can look at a big blockbuster movie, and it's almost every frame.

Yeah. So, like, what's the difference? Like, where do we draw the line? I will say, though, something okay. The movie's excellent, and it is I think IFC Studios' like biggest theatrical debut.

Like, the it's like their biggest opening weekend for anything they've ever You mean for the 20 different studios that produce it? It's like you're sitting there and you're like, am I are you just is this a trend? Are you trolling me? Every time they had like a different y'all. A different like film studio, it was like, surely we're not gonna just watch this the entire time.

Snoop butt. Like and you're like, that can't be real. Yeah. Snoop butt. What are you watching, Paul?

I just went to Vidiots where I picked up the digital video disc of The Last Starfighter. Also, Steve McQueen's Widows, which I need to watch not only sober, but again. Because I remember watching it. It's, like, 20 cc and I was like, that movie fucking rules. It's just like it's ass.

It's in, like, 3 hours? Widows? Yeah. No. I think, like, the original BBC thing is, but the Viola Davis, Robert Duvall, whatever version that came out in, 2018, I think is just over 2 or just under.

It's very good. I've never seen it. Remember loving it in 2018 and also being like, well, I'm me. So there's so many holes and so much, like, THC and who knows what. But I'm gonna rewatch that very, very soon.

I got that when I saw 12 Monkeys at Vidiots Nice. And had not seen that for a long time. Also, I'd never seen it in the theater. Yeah. That came out when I was 50 10.

50 10. 20 what? I wasn't allowed. So I just had the fucking best time. They played, La Jetee, the the French, short film that it's based on before.

And, man, that Brad Pitt performance is fucking amazing. Bruce Willis is so good in it. And just I don't know. It was, it was kind of like a retcon that's partially they say, like, you have to be of strong mind. Like, kinda like somewhere in time.

Where it's like, oh, maybe this is a viable part of, like, time travel. I got conceptual. Is that your favorite Gillian? Maybe. It's 4 and a half monkeys for me.

It's not an army of 12 monkeys. Mhmm. But, like, it's really fucking good. Yeah. And David Morrison just holy shit.

But talk about immersive movies that just, like Sure. Grab you. Yeah. Just, oh my gosh. In the theater, it was just, like, such a fucking experience.

I absolutely love that movie. And I have adopted you know, I'll adopt different movie lines into my day to day. When things are going sideways at work, there's a line from Jack from As Good As It Gets where, you know, you're dying in the weeds. I'm a bartender. You're just, like, busy, busy, busy.

You can't catch up, and, you're dripping sweat, and someone's like, hey. You doing alright? You're like, good times and noodle salad. And from from 12 Monkeys from 12 Monkeys, when I am genuinely having a good time and somebody and I'm in, like, a goofy mood, and someone's like, oh, hey. Thanks for this rum cocktail.

I'll be I'll be like, no problem. Yeah. Even though it's like, my name's not Bob. Like, I also was hoping Chris, did do you remember? There's a guy in the mental institution that Brad Pitt said that's talking about essentially his his issues or whatever he's been diagnosed with.

And he's wearing bunny slippers. And I thought of you because I thought of real genius. Oh, wow. And I could not help it. I was just like, oh, my gosh.

Chris is gonna be back. I have to mention this. I should get I should get some bunny slippers. I need to rewatch that actually. Oh, my God.

It was again, in the theater, it's just like such a fucking experience. I mean, I love that movie. And I've gone to Vidiot several times and it's like, you go to aliens or the Flyer Roadhouse and people are just like freaking out and throwing popcorn and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and kids in costumes doing karate during the movie at the front. You coulda heard a fucking pin drop through most of that movie last night. It was awesome.

Mhmm. Real quick. I'm pretty famous within my friend group Okay. Within my friend group, which is, like, 4 people. I mean, it's true.

Calling out audience members during movies for talking. And I did at one point where I think might have been out of line, which was a, like, a similar, like, Vidiots experience, but a different one in Seattle of Big Lebowski. Oh. And I've seen that movie 100 of times. I mean You're the bad guy in this No.

Totally. 1 100. Right? 100%. And the guy people behind me were, like, talking.

And I, like, turned around. I was like, could you shut up? And they were like, you've seen this movie before. And as I turned around, I'm like, yeah. Yeah.

They're right. So I had a moment where I I also will call people out. Yeah. And I had a moment with Indiana Jones at the dial of destiny. Okay.

I was sitting there in a theater. I was by myself. It was like a Tuesday night night, whatever. And there was, like, an older guy sitting a few seats to my left. And any printed word that appeared on screen, he would say out loud.

And he's sitting by himself? He was by himself. And so he would, you know like the map. You know? Yeah.

Famous Indiana Jones trope or flying over the map. Sicily. Somebody's got a bottle of medication. He he you know? Or what was it?

I can't remember. It is illegal. Anything anything written on screen. Yeah. I'm looking at this box right here.

It says filmography. If that appeared on screen, this guy would go, filmography. And I'm like, man, come on, man. Like, it it was everything. And then towards the end of the movie, he's he's lying in bed, and there's a bottle on the stand next to him, and it says the guy goes you see v I c.

And the guy goes, a Vicks vapor oh, Vicodin? And I was I bit my tongue. I'm like, this is just an old man. I'm not gonna yell at an old man in the movie theater. And then the lights came up, and he was, like, an 80 year old Filipino, like, battleship veteran.

He had the hat on. Oh, wow. And I was like, I thank god. Yeah. Right?

He didn't wanna bend that. This guy Don't be fad in that. This guy didn't serve in World War 2 Oh. To get yelled at on a Tuesday afternoon in Indiana Jones movie. Yeah.

It's also that moment has also kinda stopped me from further episodes of you know, I get people in the theater. I'm like, I don't know what these people have gone. Who gives a shit? Someone someone was talking someone was chatting during late night with the devil, and there's got up and moved to another seat. Yeah.

No. I wanna mention, on top of Chris' thing with people reading stuff out loud, we'll have guests from the 5th element, Zach Zashki, back at some point, and I will make him tell this story because it will make you literally almost, like, go potty in the pants. He went to an advanced screening of things like you get a chance to do in Los Angeles, and he went to an advanced screening of Life as a House with, Kevin Clyde and Hayden Christensen. Yeah. Good movie.

And there was a woman apparently in front of him who was reading everything out loud at this advanced screening. And the title pops up and she goes, life as a house. And Zach was like, you know, I was mad, but never mind. My god. It must be a tick.

It must be like a weird, like I it must be. What am I watching? Last night, just on a just on a whim because my cat laid on me and I couldn't move, so I had to play something, was a Moneyball Great movie. Which I hadn't seen in a while. Tell me you said it was great.

I fucking love that movie. Yeah. It's real good. And I think first off, I think it's one of the best scripts for a baseball movie that's not, like, overly saccharin. There's almost no baseball, and a lot of it's slow motion or But the baseball that's in it, the professional baseball that's shot is shot incredibly well.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a beautiful movie. And the slow motion of the the the lighting in that. And is that the first movie where we all took notice of of Brad Pitt's acting method of shoving something in his mouth during every scene?

Of eating all the time? Mine was Ocean's 11. Okay. I was like, this guy eats a lot. He does it in every scene.

Like, every scene. Like, at one point, he shoves a twink in his mouth. He, like, has a popcorn in his mouth. I mean, the movie has 4 popcorn kernels for me. Okay.

Yeah. Good score. But Philip Seymour Hoffman, so good. RIP, dude. Yeah.

Anyway, that was it's baseball season just started, so I, like, I felt also, as a Mariners fan, kudos to you for getting me to root for the A's in a movie. And also, I felt so bad for Oakland in watching that movie. Same. Because I was like, oh, your team is did you see they protested opening day? Yeah.

They didn't go to 3000 people showed up? Yeah. What happened? Because, you know, Oakland days are moving to Las Vegas. Wow.

Even the mayor of Las Vegas was like, you guys should try to hang on to that. Yeah. Should we talk about this movie? Yeah. Now that everybody listened to our Major League episode and talked about Moneyball and they're in the mood, let's do it.

I'm ready. Fact sheets, here it comes. There's a little thing. I figured. Archaeology is the search for facts.

I, I'll I'll tell you this for free. The Last Starfighter. That's not a good Dan O'Hurley. The Last Starfighter, Universal 1984. This is suggested that you have parental guidance.

There is a shit in there. Maybe it should be PG 13. I mean, they talk about Watch out. They talk about, like, making out. There's a tongue in an ear.

PG my ass. An hour and 40 minutes budget is $15,000,000 adjusted. That's 44,800,000. Opening weekend, September 1919 84, 6,010,000. Adjusted, that's 17,900,000.

Final gross in North America was 28.7. Adjusted, that's $85,700,000. Final worldwide is about the same. Other releases this weekend, the Muppets Take Manhattan. Great movie.

Yes. Charles Garden. Right? No. That's Muppets Caper.

Sorry. Right. The Gods Must Be Crazy also got its limited release this weekend. Wow. Listen to the weekend top 5.

Ready? I'm ready. Ghostbusters. Yes. Gremlins.

Yes. These 2 movies we were released in the same weekend, and we're now vying for number 1 for 6 weeks with Ghostbusters, essentially, being the champion there. This film was number 3, The Karate Kid and the newly released Muppets Take Manhattan. The top five films this year. Ready again?

Yeah. Okay. Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins, The Karate Kid, and the oft shat on but very fun original Police Academy. My god. It does it ages like hot dog water.

My British my British uncle took me to see that in the theater. My British uncle Dave I David took me to see that in the theater. I was 7. Awesome. You're probably Again, probably the best time.

Love it. Yeah. Because it's that's exactly who it's made for. Other films from 1984. Ready again?

Beverly Hills Cop, Star Trek 3 The Search For Spock, Revenge of the Nerds, aged like hot dog water, Red Dawn, The Terminator, Scarface, Yentl. And this one's for you, Chris. Top secret. Standard year. Val Kilmer.

Letterboxed average, 3.2. Follow us. I'm on Letterboxed at run b m c. I'm on Letterboxed at paulax Badly. Have we convinced you yet, Chris?

I believe that I have an account, and I find it difficult to navigate. Yeah. It takes a little bit of time. It does. You gotta get in, like, you gotta get just stoned enough so you get in that flow state So you can figure out the I mean, I don't smoke weed, but sure.

Roger Ebert, apparently, this wasn't a Cisco and Ebert situation, but Roger a Ebert gives this 2.5 out of 4. Rotten Tomatoes is 76% of critics who've seen this would recommend you watch it. And Metacritic, 67. Major award nominations win Saturn award nominee for best supporting actor, Robert Preston as Centauri. And before we move on, when I saw Chris this last weekend, he was watching something that wasn't shogun.

He was watching a movie starring Robert Forster called Alligator. That at times, I was like, this looks like a Jallo, like horror movie or something. Like Interesting. The colors are popping, the way that people are moving and stuff. And at first, I was like, I don't know if I want to like this or want to love this or whatever, but I think I need to watch Alligator.

I think you do too. It's been on my mind. It's a giant alligator out of the sewers Okay. Story, and it is both super cheesy and way better than it has any right to be. It distracts you how pretty it is.

What was that? The colors are just bang bang. From, like, a couple years ago, that was about a, like, a gator in a basement in Crawl. Crawl. Apparently, the movie's rad.

I like the movie. I'm with, Kaya Scodelario, who's in that new Guy Ritchie Netflix show. Yes. The gentleman. And she's also in the Resident Evil remake, totally different thing, which is excellent that I own on Blu ray.

Okay. I'm a big Resident Evil game fan. This is, like, the fur this movie? Yeah. It's called Resident Evil colon Welcome to Raccoon City.

It's got terrible ratings, but it is the first two games in an hour and a half, and it's rad. It's live action? Or It's live action. Okay. I'll give it a shot.

It's great. Donal Logue's in it. She plays Nice. Claire Redfield. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Donal Logue from Blade? Robbie Amell plays Uh-huh. Brother Redfield, Chris Redfield. It's great.

Okay. I might have to watch that. Well, we'll Carpenter. It's got a very Carpenter vibe. Synth soundtrack, long slow zooms on people standing in windows.

It's I mean, that fits well with the with the franchise. Mhmm. Cool. I'm in. I like that.

It's great. Should I talk about people? About people. Director Nick Castle, Dennis the Menace, Major Payne, Mister Wrong, writer John Bethel Bethel? Not to be confused with John Benthel.

John Bethel? My Science Project. It's the only credit? There's really not much else from him, to be honest. Interesting.

Director of photography, King Baggett. That's a name. Boiling Point, vice versa, dream a little dream. Music, Craig Safin, Money For Nothing, Live Wire, Nightmare on Elm Street for the Dream Master. I wonder who wrote that in there.

The music in that movie is amazing. Whoever did music supervision is amazing. There's a drama Rama song in that movie. To justify it. And the music in this movie fucking rules.

Everyone just knows it. In this movie is so good. You wrote it. I sure did. Producers, Gary Adelson, It Could Happen to You, Hard to Kill starring Steven Seagal.

Oh, buddy. You betcha. Lance Guest plays Alex. Halloween 2, Jaws The Revenge Plan B. Catherine Mary Stewart plays Maggie, night of the comet, the apple, weekend at Bernie's.

Night of the comet. You guys ever seen night of the comet? Yeah. Good good b movie. Who did she play in, weekend at Bernie's?

I think the Jonathan Silverman love interest. Okay. Robert Preston, RIP, plays Centauri, the music man, Victor, Victoria, Child's Play. Not the one you're thinking. Oh, a different one.

Sidney Lumet, 1972. Not any, like, intense drama. Not Chucky. No Chucky. Denied.

Weird. He would've man, he would've elevated that movie out there. Right? We got rid of Chris Rendon. We got Robert Preston.

That's right. We got that music band. Dan O'Harelly, RIP, plays Greg. Robocop, Robocop 2, Halloween 3, season of the witch. Should I not do this right now?

You should. Do whatever. Watching this movie, excuse me, I went on IMDb, and I'm like, who is Greg? Dick, you're fired. I remember this movie.

I also saw this movie in the theater. Obviously, that was a big year for me going to the movie theater. Oh, man. Fucking great. And I remember Greg.

I remember his laugh. I remember everything about him. I just never knew who was under there. And today, I finally learned it's the old man. The old man.

Woke up. Oh my god. Go hard. And then as soon as I knew that and I heard his voice, I'm like, oh, of course, that's him. Oh, it's so definitively him.

Like, I had to do the same thing actually. It's great. I love it. It makes it so it's he's so wonderful. He's so great.

Norman Snow, r I p, plays Zur, Manhunter, Adam's apple, Moonbeam, Dan Mason, Lord Krill. Lots of TV credits. And now, Chris, I'm gonna pass it to you for some fun facts. Fun facts? I guess you do you have a theme song for this as well?

You can talk about it. You can make one right now. Fun facts, fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time. I like that.

We're gonna play that every time. I'm out of my mind. I have to just save that little guy. Director Nick Castle is also an actor best known for his portrayal of soulless murder machine, The Shape, Michael Myers from Halloween. Yeah, dude.

So he's a big dude. Michael, no. He's about my size. He's about 5 foot 10, 5 foot 11. Like Why does Michael Myers always seem huge?

£80. Movie magic. Dude, John Carpenter is amazing. Upward upward angles. Who did they cast in the in the, the remake?

It was someone big. Right? The the Rob Zombie remake? It's the same guy who played Sabertooth in the Brian Singer accident. Dude.

Taylor or someone? Yeah. Anyway. Tyler Main, someone. Big dude.

I do wanna say Nick Castle also directed the boy who could fly. Have you guys ever heard of this? Mhmm. Jay Underwood was like a big cheesy I don't know if you've seen going around, like, there's this, clip of a movie, the the day my child turned punk. Anyway, it's been going around on Instagram.

Jay Underwood was in a million cheesy ABC, Disney, after school special things. The boy who could fly was one of them. Shocked that Nick Castle, one of Carpenter's bros made that movie. Okay. A novelization of the film was written by oft used adaptation author, Alan Dean Foster.

I have a book for him. Is it called Glory Lane? No. Glory Lane is the movie from the eighties that I wish they had made but never made. And it's kinda similar.

Like, it's, basically, Arizona, small town, late at night. This kid's going bowling. His bro he's a nerd. His brother's a punk. There's a cheerleader who their with their jock boyfriend, and they come across this guy, bowling, whose bowling ball is doing all kinds of weird stuff, like lifting up off of the lane and going in spirals and stuff.

Like mystery man? And then these 2 huge brutes come in and start, like, shooting lasers at him. Cool. And they all pile into a van and take off, and it turns out he's an alien. The ball is an alien, and off they go to space for this incredible intergalactic adventure.

And it was written by Alan Dean Foster. It was an original novel by Alan Dean Foster. Original? I don't think it's his only original, but it's the only one that matters to me. My sister and I both read it.

Very shockingly, I went I moved to LA. In 2014, I moved into an apartment in Echo Park. I was in the basement doing laundry. My roommate had this book, a box of books, and there was Glory Lane sitting on top, and I decided to read it again for the first time since childhood. And lo and behold, when I get, like, 2 thirds of the way through the book, we find out that the punk's name, Seath, is actually what something he made up.

His name is really Seth. And she's like, no. I think it's cool. And then she lists off a few other names that she thinks are cool, and those are the names that my sister named her kids. Woah.

That's amazing. It was bizarre. Yeah. I texted her a picture of that page, and she's like, that must have just planted itself in there. That's wild.

I'm gonna be doing a lot of that during this movie discussion we're about to have, I think, too, by the way. Glory Lane by Alan Dean Foster. Read it. The star car that Centauri drives is based on a DeLorean, including its gull wing doors and its stainless steel construction. Interesting.

And it came out in 84. I think same guy did it before Back to the Future. All the non practical effects and computer generated imagery was performed on a computer called the Cray x dash m p. The Cray. That's so good.

I did watch some of the making of on the special edition Blu ray that I own of this movie. Oh. This is the first Blu ray I ever bought. Wow. And at the beginning, it says, because Blu ray is a new technology, not all features update your player.

Right? All features might not work. Sure. But, the behind the scenes did. And I guess the Cray XMP, they had to fly, like, MIT guys in to, like, help them do this stuff.

Woah. It had only previously really been used by defense. Interesting. Yeah. That's rad.

Yeah. And after the beta unit scenes tested so high in advanced screenings, director Nick Castle called back the cast and shot additional scenes with beta Alex after principal photography. This is part of why Lance guest's hair and weight seems so inconsistent as many of these scenes were shot weeks, even months later. He's such a beta. Yeah.

Right? He went off to, like, film something else and they cut his hair for it, and they brought him back. And there's one scene in particular where they're in the back of a pickup truck Oh, the wig. When Beta goes out with all the other kids. Yeah.

And apparently, Lance guest had a fever. So he's in this bad wig and he looks all Sick. He looks all messed up because he's actually, like, sick. Throwing up all day. Yeah.

Yeah. And they're like, it was perfect for the scene. It does work. It works really well. That was filmed in Griffith Park.

It's a moving like, actually moving shot. Star Trek actor Wil Wheaton, Wesley Crusher, his speaking scenes were deleted, but he is visible in the movie, running around the trailer park early in a red football jersey and also spottable in the final scene. Will Wheaton. Will Wheaton is in this, everybody. Will Wheaton.

Is Will is is Will Wheaton a nice guy? Will Wheaton. Chris, we have a surprise. Okay. Surprise.

Surprise. Is Will Wheaton here? Will Wheaton's here. Will Wheaton's here. Oh my god.

You've been hiding him in this closet the whole time? Are you gonna untie him at least? We pay him a lot. Alright. Back you go.

See you, Will. What is the log line of this movie? 1 to 3 sentence little thing together to sell it. What is this movie about? Pitch me.

Oh, okay. Alright. Wow. Okay. Let's see.

What is this movie about? This movie is about man, you got me you got me good. You're gonna have to cut out a lot of umms and ahs out of this right now. Use the bulls, Chris. No.

I do. I cut out so many umms and ahs and likes. And So this movie to me is, like, what if we all love Star Wars. What if you could go be in it? This movie is like projecting that fantasy.

That's that is so much more succinct. That sells it so well, partially because, like, a lot of this echoes Star Wars a lot. Totally. Do you wanna know what the long line is as written? Yes.

High schooler Alex Rogen conquers the starfighter video game only to find out it was just a test and is transported to another planet. He has been recruited to join a team of the best starfighters to defend the world from the attack. The universe, technically. Get it right, Log Line people. Alright.

Well, we will write a stern letter. Rewrite that for you. Dear mister Log Line, how dare you? What if you could project yourself into Star Wars? Great.

Watching that now. They probably couldn't do that because Star Wars was at the point at that point, a competitor. Yeah. That's true. Universal v.

Yeah. No. And that behind the scenes stuff too, they were talking specifically about, like, we were trying to not directly copy that, Mike. We could get into it. Oh, we should take a quick break.

Yeah. That sounds about right. This episode is brought to you by beta units. Get yours today. Don't be a beta unit.

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Okay? Let's see how it goes. Beta units for when it's time to go back to sleep, Lewis. No. I'm gonna tell mom.

He's just gonna do the thing for Playboys. With a light year where the cat just goes and just makes, like, white noise, opens his mouth and just makes white noise so he can go back to sleep. I like that movie. Everyone would fuck a beta unit if they had it. Okay.

We'll be right back. To break. Everyone would fuck a beta unit if they had it. Okay. We'll be right back.

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Guest star in this episode that you've heard will hear more. Maggie is eating in the background. Let's not interrupt her, shall we not? Let's not. We won't.

I'm not gonna do it. Hey, it's Paul from the review review. Thank you so much for listening. If you're not already, please subscribe to this podcast. If you haven't already, please rate this podcast.

5 stars. It's cool. Please comment on this podcast. If you're not rating and your comment is negative, that's fine. If you're rating and your comment is negative, well, fuck all that stuff.

But, the review x 2 podcast is where you can follow us on TikTok and Instagram. Run BMC is Ben on Letterboxd at paulaxbadly is himself on Letterboxd. Thank you again so much for listening back to the program. Unlike you. He's not MJ, but yeah.

You're not MJ. Dude, I'm on the verge of death. There's no question. I'm so glad we captured that. You recorded that?

Yeah. Excellent. We're back from all those I'm gonna play the spooky season to pull us back into this considering the fact that I'm dead. Bring that back right in the spring. But at least you're not a beta.

The resurrection. Yeah. I mean, it is evil first. I'm not the real thing. Not a beta.

Don't worry. Go back to bed. Look. We're not an online Shut. Go back to sleep.

We're not an online comments thread. You don't need to convince us you're not a beta. Give me a while. Give me some time to talk about well, we're recording. Right?

We're back. Right? Oh, we did. We've been back for a while. Right?

Oh, yeah. For a while. Well, what are we doing now? What are we doing here, Ben? Well, Paul, we have this game we call cinephile.

Oh, cinephile. We weren't playing this when Chris was on last. We've gotta break this down. We've changed a lot since Chris was here. We have the stews.

That's very nice up here. Dude, how many times have I interrupted you? Twice? Not as nice as last time. I'm doing good.

I don't keep track. I do. So we play this game called cinephile where, well, you will pull a card. It'll have an actor on there and a movie. You get to get that freebie.

We'll then go around, and we each have to name a movie that actor was in. Okay. 1st person to freeze, which we all do because Oh, yeah. The pressure hits us, has to give their first experience with this movie and their initial rating as well as their new experience of the movie and their new rating if they have one. And then we will go around the horn.

It's just a fun little thing. It's fun. It's for fun. Fun facts. Fun facts, everybody.

It's fun fact time. Around the corn nuts. So you get to pick. Would you like my left or right? Left.

My left. This is a hilarious drawing of a grimacing Harvey Keitel. Okay. Can I just go ahead and read the Freebie movie? Bad Lieutenant.

City of Industry. Reservoir Dogs. Mother Jugs and Speed. Mean Streets. Oof.

I it might be me. I might be the frozen one. Hold on. No. I'm gonna freeze.

Yep. It's me. Oh. Do you wanna cinch it? Did you have one in the in the holster there, Chris?

I keep. Okay. But, dude, please look at this photo. I mean, it's a I gotta see this. What the fuck?

This is great podcast material too. Yeah. Everybody Oh, this is 100% when he's smearing his dick all over the window in bad lieutenant. Oh my god. That's the face.

Looks like I need to see bad lieutenant. Oh, weird thing to follow it up with? Good movie. Alright. That it's a bad lieutenant.

It's a good movie. So is the sequel with Nicolas Cage? Is that a sequel? Mostly a sequel. It's in the same universe or something.

I don't know. I thought it was a remake. Love them. What? I thought it was a remake.

I think it's a side make. It's like bad lieutenant port of call. Yeah. Port of Call. New Orleans.

Wait. It dude. Is it like an NCIS? Dude kills it. New Orleans?

He just says y'all a lot. So It's an iguana. This movie, The Last Starfighter, I have a very vague memory of watching this movie on TV in, like, 95, probably. When when when it came up, when Paul was like, Last Starfighter, I was like, oh, yeah. Kid plays an arcade game, trailer park, goes, fights in space.

Like, it immediately popped into me, and some of the visuals were, like, coming back to me. But I I just couldn't, like, put my finger on when I watched it, where I was, what I felt about it. I I could not I couldn't remember. The nostalgia pull for this movie didn't exist for me, really. It's just kinda like I've always known about it.

Have you read Ready Player 1? Yes. Or as I like to call it, The Last Starfighter. Yeah. And then he wrote and then he wrote the, wrote Armada Uh-huh.

Which is just The Last Starfighter. Mhmm. Anyway, I liked that book, Ready Player 1, and so I knew a lot about this movie from that book. Oh, it's Armada that's The Last starfighter. Armada is literally just the last starfighter.

Right. So I'm not confused. Yeah. Player 1 is his first book, and then he did Armada. But it's I don't know how you publish that and not get a copyright.

The only difference is that they actually come to Earth. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So fight them on Earth. Yeah. Yeah. But this one, they weren't anywhere near. But they say Armada a lot in this movie.

There are a couple. And so Conan Armada, to be precise. So, like, I was like, okay. So you knew what you were stealing from. Anyway, I'm not gonna give myself a ranking for that first viewing because I just don't remember it, unfortunately.

And so I watched this movie last night eating pizza with my cat on my lap, and I'm gonna give this movie karma. I'm gonna give this movie 3 Playboys. Oh, fuck. That's a great rating system, buddy. That's pretty good.

Damn it. Also, one of those playboys, I definitely had. He was going through them and I was like, I know that cover. Oh, no. Oh, shit.

Okay. I have I have time now because it's Chris. Right? Yeah. Okay.

I have time. That was that was my rating system was Playboys. Well done. I do have a good rating system. I forgot that we were doing that, but I do immediately have a good one.

So very clearly, I have very fond memories of this movie. I saw it in the theater during that blockbuster year Dude. Of Gremlins Terminator. Oh my god. It's it's crazy.

Me and my friends watched this a thousand times. It was on TV probably, like, 3 times a day. We ended on VHS. We would get on our big wheels or our bikes and, like, ride around the neighborhood and pretend to be Alex Rogan, and get on a sit and spin. I remember getting on a sit and spin to do the death blossom, the death bloom Oh, sure.

Maneuver. Yeah. Awesome. Like, that's what we were doing when I was 7 years old. The nostalgia pulls very deep.

So as a 7 year old kid, I mean, it's 5 out of 5. Sure. Yeah. Watching it now, you know, there's obviously things like the computer graphics. They don't look great, and it's very, you know, it's very early on in the industry for it, but it's it's pretty horrendous.

Yeah. At the time, you know, as a kid, it was the most amazing looking thing I've ever seen. Of course. Yeah. But I'm like, wow.

This is, like, really bad. And it's very it's very cheesy. I remember I remember kinda wincing a little bit, cringing a little bit when they took off to do, like, the star drive in the car, and he goes, oh, Are we sure it's not the best acting we've ever seen? It's yeah. At all times.

So there's, like, you know, there's, like, the the adult critical eye of watching this movie and all of its weird acting. And, like, are you really telling me that, like, 25, 80 year olds gathered around this kid because he's about to bust the record? Like, I don't think so. I don't think so. But, you know, it is what it is.

It's a very fun adventure. It tries its best not to just blatantly rip off Star Wars, but that's kind of impossible. And so I think I'm gonna give it 3 and a half polished eyeballs. Nice. I like it.

That is good. Yeah. That's really good. Okay. So I thought I was in Ben's position and that I had no nostalgia pull with this.

And I found out to a degree I'm in a different position that there is some. Mhmm. I spent a large amount of my childhood, living in and growing up in trailer parks and double wides and shit like that in coastal cities in Washington. And my mom at a point when I ended up spending a summer and then more with her, this was a movie that was on VHS. Like, that was recorded from HBO or something.

Mhmm. And I will tell you, I must have watched this at least probably 15 times through that summer. Because there was a level, I think, of maybe what ready player 1 did for the new generation or whatever for me where, again, what Chris said, like, where it's like, how do you feel about feeling more of the now you are gonna be, like, really intimately the vessel for this journey? Like, that was the thing that felt different to me from some of the other things. But I fell really hard for this movie, not only because of, like, the trailer park aspect, but I loved, like, arcade cabinets and shit like that.

And it was, like, something to do to, like, break up the day, yada yada yada. So as a kid, similar. 5. Similar experience, weird though that I had, like, this nostalgia pull. Like, I have a cat named Maggie.

I call her Mags. You also have an orange cat, but they don't sit on top of an arcade. I have an orange cat that is very, very weird. And also, like, I have a script that I wrote where they're like, there's somebody winning money in Las Vegas and all these people crowd around and people are getting excited. And there are multiple other things that I was like, oh my god.

I didn't realize how much this is ingrained in me. And because I hadn't seen this in since 66. When did this come out? 55. 84.

84. So I had not seen this since I was 60, 20. I have not seen this in a really long time. 50, 10. You're not even I have not seen this.

Sticking to actual ages anymore. I've not seen this in a long, long, long time. Rented the DVD, watched 20 minutes of it, was having difficulty with the DVD, wiped it off, started it over. It had the full immersive experience and ended up with 3 and a half old men. Dick, you're fired.

Old men dick? That's where it's 3a half. That was the big thing for me. I'm almost at a 3. I love the music in this movie Music's great.

So much. And it does so much lifting in terms of like, hey, all this other stuff that's going on or however this looks or whatever, just have fun with the experience. And partly, I think they're trying to float the idea of like, hey, hey, this this video game, the way this looks, this is how the world looks or the universe looks where we live. Does it float for me? Not necessarily.

But, I forgive some of the effects that I agree. Like, that's the main detractor in this movie is is some of the effects or man, there's part of me that's like, man, I wonder what this could have been overall with another 4 or $5,000,000. Like, is that much more polished? That's I could speak to that a little bit. Okay.

Please. In watching the behind the scenes, the making of on the Blu ray, they specifically talk of oh, and the commentary too, the director and effects director commentary, supervisor commentary. They had to cut back on the quality of some of the elements, like the landscapes. They could make the landscapes look much better, but they had to dial it back because it took too long to render, and they didn't have the time. Got it.

And so in their words, it looks like melted ice cream. This And they're very the inside of the asteroid stuff, like, the the guy, you can tell it still eats them to this day that he wasn't able to make it look better. It's like a bummer because at times, this movie does such a fucking amazing job with force perspective using, what was a very common effects move back in the day, matte paintings. Mhmm. Like it I think it uses a couple of those.

Miniatures, like, all these great things, and then, like, it starts to lean really heavy on computer generated imagery. And, like, yeah, it looks better than Tron, but how much better. As someone who hadn't seen seen this movie since I was a kid, it was it it was distracting It is. For me, especially knowing that something like Star Wars in 2,001 had already existed Right. Where I was like I feel like the real the decision to not go farther into miniatures is really where that is where the effects are hindered because we, as a collective and me as a movie buff, forgive miniatures because there's a there's a level of craftsmanship that you can, like, admire.

And it's while there is craftsmanship in CG, no doubt, it is 100% harder to to to to see. You know? You don't really get it just feels like a especially now when we have previs, which is better Yeah. In the degree to this. So it was hard for me to believe anything that was really happening.

It's just like a bummer because, like, you know, there's a moment where the beta is still developing and a blanket pulls back. Yeah. That's good. A lot of the effects are good. The makeups are good.

A lot of the The practical effects are really solid. And stuff are great. Yeah. And it's just a bummer, as Chris said. Just didn't didn't have enough time slash money slash And, you know, but also you gotta swing.

We said that's what you have to swing. They also talk about, like, at the time when this was in theaters, like, they knew that they were compromising on things because they had this budgetary limit and deadline to get to. And they were really appreciative of the fans for forgiving them for not looking like, it didn't even like, as a 7 year old, I was like, oh, spaceships. But even, like, you know, teenagers at the time were like, this looks really goofy. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. I love this stupid ass movie. I forgive some of it because it's like, I had a great time. And, again, like, we gotta talk about this damn move.

The music just grabs you. The music for me is some so again, I'm a big music nerd. I grew up in band and orchestra and all that kind of stuff. And John Williams is, like, you know, the guy. Oh.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so this movie to me God small g. Again, going with, like, oh, hey, kid.

You know, it's like The Karate Kid, but Star Wars. You know? Like Sure. Oh, yeah. What if you could get yanked out of your small town and go up and pilot the thing?

They did put him in a gyroscope and spin him around for that death blossom thing. Awesome. And they used, like, one half of a second of a clip of him spinning. It was, like, why wouldn't you show me that? Imagine him, like, probably got pretty dizzy.

Oh, no doubt. Like, yeah. Yeah. They shot, like, the wig stuff the next day. It's like, yeah.

No doubt he was, like, sick throwing off Let's gyroscope. Start the movie so we can start the movie. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Let's start the movie. God damn movie. Sack the movie. And now, our feature presentation. Life as a House.

It's even the titles through the stars. It's great. Like, we're gonna go out, like, Masters of the Universe or Star Wars or Star Trek or so many things where it's like, we're gonna have a good time. Like, let's go. And the music is so uplifting even from that moment.

Absolutely. I agree. It's a good great. It's very catchy. I was just humming it, singing it.

I've been doing it all day. He is a 100% swinging for a John William Star Wars thing. It's almost like John William Superman. So good at it Yeah. That there's all this empty space in this soundtrack that I hear.

Like, oh, Williams would have done this. Oh, wow. Personal attacks already from the guest to me. Oh, no. John John will like, yeah.

That I agree with you. That is the height. That's the apex. But I do feel 30% of that. Like, I feel like in this soundtrack where it's like I'm humming it.

It's earworms. It's like my heart is warm. And I still feel the call to adventure. Yes. It does that.

It does it well. We gotta talk about the call to adventure, babe. It's a great opening. So small town kid, small town in terms of, like, this kid is in a trailer park, and there's a dog with huge balls and a cat that lives in a mailbox. And I didn't say that.

They're just establishing You see that dog's, like, crankly elbows? Man. In Ready Player 1, I don't know if you're familiar, but they all live in stack. They call them stacks, which are just RVs stacked on top of each other. Yes.

And so I was like, oh, you you took that from He lives in the stacks. Yeah. You took that from this. Yeah. And, we meet the whole community just like we do and various other things, but you meet everybody that, like, lives there.

And and and it's very sweet. Like, they're all, like they all, like, seem to, like, love each other, which is nice. And they help each other. It's a big it's a big community of, like, extended family. Yeah.

Trailer park. And the setting out there, they're, like, up by Magic Mountain out here, like, up by in Santa Clarita or Somar. And somehow they're gonna go hang out in Silver Lake. Well, they're going to the Silver Lake. I was like, did people go swimming in Silver Lake?

No. The director made a joke about that. He said there's a there's a famous Silver Lake in Los Angeles, but this was written by a writer from New York. Okay. Like, nobody goes to go swimming at at That's excellent.

Silver Lake. No. But yeah. So we meet Alex, and he has a girlfriend. What's her?

Mags. Mags. He Teacher. He well, first, what happens is someone's electricity goes out in their RV, RV, and his mom is the manager? No.

So that woman's electricity goes out, and she won't be able to watch her soaps. Yeah. And that is kind of yelled stories. That is yelled across the trailer parks. I don't know.

Life before cell phones. Right? It eventually gets to the mom who is about to go work a double at the diner in town. But someone's who is she the manager? Why are they responsible?

She is not the manager. I don't I don't think that's ever It's like an Alex thing. I think he's just, like, a very helpful, capable kid. Kid in the neighborhood. So people expect him to be able to do I don't know.

That was the other thing. If anybody's the manager, it's the guy that runs the the the store and the The deli or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Hot dog stand, whatever it is. You don't know what it is. Away mustard and stuff. I'm like, this is this people is everybody at the trailer park eating there?

Because no restaurants has shown up at this place. No shit. There's an arcade game and there's hot dogs and that's and there's a cat. Everybody 80 plus is aware of what the record is because they can't do it because they're 80. They're fucking idiots.

Well, I I like that they established, like, very early on. There are things in this movie too that, like, hook me ET like sometimes in the score and the approach or the shoot. I love the way the trailer works. You know what's interesting is we've done a a handful of movies that are that are reaching for the Spielbergian. The stars?

A little bit. Like, this movie does a little bit of that. Right? Reaching for that Spielberg. I think Why couldn't why wouldn't it this time?

There's a tickle, though. There's a tickle that happens for me. I'm tickled by it. I think the design of the RV park is great. The little star neon sign.

Yes. Starlight. All of that stuff looks great. A lot of that stuff was I think I think it was real. Yeah.

Like, that was a trailer for location. No longer. The store is real and still there. When are we going? Probably the sign is not.

Well But yeah. I'm inside. And he talks he talks about how he shot it in widescreen. And he said it was one of his only movies that he shot in widescreen, and he loves coming back to that trailer park because it sets a space movie. It gives it this whole different space to exist in.

And you really get a sense of it when they're in the park, when they're just, like, doing, like, you know when they're just having conversations and stuff, you can see the landscape out there behind it. Yeah. And I always found that as a kid growing up in Massachusetts who was born in California. That's another one of my driving things. It's like, I could have been there.

You know? Oh, yeah. Like watching Back to the Future, anything that was filmed in California. I was like, I'm supposed to be there. I'm Yeah.

Yeah. 5 years old. Goddamn it. Why did you do this to me? I you got like that Alex thing, like, where it's like I gotta like, I'm not supposed to be here.

I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Like, I gotta do something else. He's trying to get a loan to go to college. I like that his, like, friends that don't live at the trailer park that aren't his girlfriend are, like, kinda being shitty ish to him. And then where he's like, hey guys, and like reality checks them.

That's something this movie does really well is I never feel like Alex really fully comes off like holier than that or like an asshole or anything like that. Like he just normally either seems like he's kind of reactionary and and kinda dealing with things, like, outside of, like I don't know how I feel about so much of the, like, hey. Now here are aliens and that acting part of it. But We we learned that Alex's main objective is to get out of the trailer park. And he He wants to go to Silverlake.

He wants but but he wants to go to he he doesn't wanna go to City College like everybody else. He wants to go to the University. Pick up some power converters. Yeah. But this Troy has a bad motivator.

So no. But he I bet. But he does. He wants to he wants to go to and he's trying to get this loan. So he's waiting for he's waiting for the mail.

And we get this, like there's a little bit of him and his girlfriend. She is, like, a little bit okay with his life, and he is not. And so there's that disconnect that She also feels a sense of responsibility. Yeah. Because he's like, you're gonna come with me when we go to college, not City College, but whatever the big place that he they don't mention is.

And she's like, who's gonna take care of granny? Like, she feels tied to the place in a way that he's not even thinking of. You know? He's like, granny, are you serious? I gotta get out of here.

Yeah. She he has she has a justification for Kenny will be fine. She's a shotgun. Yeah. She's pretty quick to grab the old double barrel 12 gauge.

No problem. But, like, I I kinda like that he is has this, like, I have a dream that's bigger than this, and I love you, and I want you to be part of whatever the future is, and that whole aspect is also motivation. Jealous because she goes off with what's his fuck goes to Tosche Station or whatever they do. For power converters. Yeah.

And, Tosche Station sounds great. Never been. Nope. Sounds cool. Not a sponsor.

Sounds great. And then she comes back, and he is just, like, anger fucking playing this game. And he's, like, in the zone. After he fantasizes, like, he sees these planets, like, this, solar system model he has or whatever, and he is just fantasizing about space and the stars and the unknown and whatever. And we have the class.

She comes back and she's like, are you okay? And he's just not responding. He is not okay. But he's in the zone. I do wanna say, also, that shot of him coming up there to play is is just a great little, like, I don't know, like, a little, like, foreshadowing, a little staging of he's in the dirt with this neon sign with the star lit up and going to the store to play the game, and then they have that huge matte pinprick star field.

It's a black sky, that takes up, like, the whole top half of the frame. It's like, we know. Even if you never saw a trailer for this movie Oh, yeah. You know that he's going. It looks it looks great.

I love that star moment. I personally just think that the idea of the concept of oh, yeah. Aliens just placed these things all over in certain places or whatever is like a test, a beta test to figure like, that arcade cabinet is such a great fucking device of, can you do this? Do you have the skill we need? It's so good.

Mhmm. Yeah. And he's this is all he does. And apparently, everybody else in this town does this. I don't know.

Or at least expectates it. Like It's like over the top with the arm wrestling. Yeah. Sorry. It's like over the top with the arm wrestling.

Thank you. Okay. I had to blow my hat backwards. The cat's really into this game. I was into that cat.

I love the cat on the top of the game. Yeah. I was into that cat. And so, anyway, he he beats the the high score. Over a million.

And everyone's freaking out. And then we have the the denouement, if you will, after that climactic moment. The diarrhea kiss? The kiss that gives the little brother diarrhea? Actually wrote that in my notes.

I also learned that when the kid the most eighties thing. He sees them kiss, he goes, diarrhea. I also love, though, when he wakes up, he doesn't just, like, glance out of his blinds. He just goes, like, opens the blinds as far as they can go. Because Louis don't give a fuck.

Louis, you can just you can just peek a little bit. Go back to bed. That's all that ever happens anyway. Go back to bed. Put your boner away.

Louis is there to be hurt. It's easy, man. Lewis is a g. I like Lewis. Lewis has those playboys.

He watches them kiss. Lewis is just learning masturbation. And question, is though are those playboys and he's is that porn for kids? Oh, your friend, little kid? I'm gonna be honest with you.

I bet you those had, like, the center folds and shit, like, torn out. Poor kid. I doubt it. Oh, then it is. It's porn for kids.

That's all your friend, little kid. One of those, I definitely had at one point. I I remember it vividly. So I have to say, like, I was I was probably like Lewis' age when this movie came out, and we would totally look at my friend's dad's Playboys and stuff. Never found my dad's if he ever had.

I don't even had them. Yeah. The Playboy that I had was a friend's dad's playboy. I'm one of those weird you wanna hear something really fucking weird? I literally did find porn in the woods once.

Oh, yeah. No. Me and my friends had, like, a library of different dad's stolen porno mags in, like, a ruined colonial shed. It was, like, all this it's, like, half fallen stoned shed in the woods and, like, plastic grocery bags that we would put them in and, like, kick leaves over the top when we were leaving them. You know what's sad is kids don't get that experience anymore.

No. No. I've heard several stand ups talk about it, and I'm like, yeah. I know. That's There's a rite of passage.

The real deal. That was the real deal. Like, just being able to type, like, BWBS now. Like, it's not the same. My my stepmom being like, hey, Ben.

Have you seen my Victoria's Secret magazines? I was like, I'm not I'm not sure what you're talking about. You're what? Talking about. I mean, I saw one in the bush.

Foreshadowing. Speaking of speaking of good cop. So, Alex, he can't leave. He's recruited after he gets, like, a 1000000 points. He finds out he's gonna go away.

He's out of here. He's been tested by this intergalactic Well, that fancy that fancy car shows up, and it's creepy. He's like, hey, little kid. You want some ice cream? Get on in.

I'm not here for cigarettes or Oh, weird. He goes Alex goes, I'm sorry. The store 's closed because I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. I was looking for a Lucy, actually. Then that robot You post.

Saps him or whatever. The beta Yeah. Takes his I like the beta dummy. I like the conceit. It's it's good.

I like the conceit. Tactical's so good. Yeah. Yeah. And he's going up to 300 miles per hour.

303 on a radar gun. Griffith Park, apparently. Dude, there's a there's a moment where the his crazy fake DeLorean time cop back to the future cars going 300, and it's all just they've sped up the film. Right? Yeah.

I'm wondering is it did they map the 30 miles per hour speed limit sign over the car, or is it done so much more slowly because that 30 mile per hour sign is going pretty slow as the car makes it whips by so fast, it makes that sign move. I just feel like that's just so fucking well done, that one little thing. Yeah. It's so seamless because the car looks and whenever they do that, it looks like kinda like whole mildly hilarious. But the sign is so great.

I wanna say to this point, honestly, to to this point in the movie, I was at, like, 4. Me too. Me too. I was I was fully on board with this Okay. Model adventure and the story and everything.

Like, I was I was on board. I hear you. I hear you. It does slow down significantly after this point Yeah. Where it's supposed to be ramping all the way up to 10, and you're just kinda like, are we gonna have a lot of him questioning what's happening, aren't we?

Yeah. I would be fucking psyched if I was that kid. Right. Right. Why is he so I mean, it's kinda like the world of the of the space world isn't it doesn't feel as, like, fully, like, lived in and grown and, like like Harry Potter.

Right? The second Harry Potter goes off in this adventure, there's so much of that world that just keeps, like, revealing itself. And you're like, woah. This world just keeps going. And this one just kinda like, this is the place.

Yeah. There's a part of me that likes that about this where Willow, for me, goes to Inside Baseball. This touches on it just not quite enough. There's another film that we've done called Galaxy Quest that is partially also about, like, a coward who doesn't want to do anything. While watching this.

Yeah. But that, like, hits a sweet spot, in terms of world building where it's not overwhelming. It's just crazy fucking palatable. And this movie doesn't it just needs to do a tiny bit more. Yeah.

I think I think we're agreeing on that where it's like it gets a little a little too loosey goosey with it at times or a little too, like Well It's not spoonfitty enough, which feels weird to say. When they're traveling, though, we're imagining he's traveling through space and time, like, because it seems like the stars, at some point, like, turn into, like, he's Yeah. Like rainbow road. They, they redshift. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. As they go through the star drive. Activating star drive at Columbus 7 BR. Well, and they're moving it probably, like, however many times the speed of light at that point, which humans can't do.

But if you can travel through a world Your DeLorean can. Oh, sure. Which is breaking space time. If you're a Ryland Ryland, your technology can do that. No problem.

Apparently, that car the physical version of that car was like a bunch sheet metal strapped onto a Volkswagen. Awesome. And it sounded horrible. Paul, did you build that car? I can already feel my score moving up.

Oh, so you're telling me what this is is it is the original cyber truck and that they did nothing to improve it. Right. Exactly. Got their way in. Trailer park, shitty car that someone straps sheet metal onto.

Paul's in. I'm in. But I love 10 stars. Yeah. 10 old men.

Damn. Go fire. 10 old men dick. Ten old men sticks. Alex arrives with Centari who has pulled his face off.

Oh, yeah. He's a full on dude. Good point. You have to polish his fake eyeballs. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, he puts his face back on and when they get to the space station, we're like, why does he need to have the human face when he's in the space station? Everybody It doesn't seem like well, it seems like this race of aliens are all human but balding. So, Paul, you're in. That was one of the The main the main race I can be a leader.

That was one of the funniest shots. It's like the fucking Alice is sitting in the back. Centore leaves him in the car as they pull into the station. And Tory leaves him there, and then the door slowly opens. And you can see this, like, attractive female figure as the door reveals her in her space gray jumpsuit.

And then she's got this gnarly Klingon head with, like, old man white hair sticking off the sides, and she's like, Ratan. Ratana. It's like, what the fuck? He's the that reaction shot from Lance Guest is spot on. Literally, eyebrows up, she's me.

Oh my god. Ratanol. Ratanol. Let's make a language where everyone just says the same three syllables. That's all it is.

That's the thing where it's like, we watched Atlantis The Lost Empire, another movie that it's like too much world building, a little, like, and not enough spoon feeding Mhmm. Where it's like a similar mistake to this where it's like, give me more than 3 syllables or less than like, find a happy medium. Is it to me, here's a question. No. But for this and for that, for Atlantis Yeah.

Is it too much world building, or is it not quite the right world building? Atlantis, it's too it's too much. Or Willow, it's too much. This, it's, like, not quite enough or not in the right places. If you to me, it doesn't feel cool enough Oh.

In a weird way. Yeah. Like, it doesn't it doesn't feel cool and sexy. Well, the thing is that you're gone this is kinda where the outdoor beautiful locations in Santa Clarita kinda bite them in the ass. The sets don't match up.

You're shown very explicitly that you're going to a planet. Yeah. And that planet has oceans and continents, and then you go into this horribly rendered ice cream melted mountain CGI fortress, ice cream melted mountain CGI fortress, and then you're just in there. And it's like, at the end of the movie, you're get this reveal where there's all these people partying outside on, like, a landing platform. Like, why didn't we go outside there?

You know? Yeah. Why couldn't we have why couldn't we have seen, like, their trailer park? Or do you know what I mean? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Show us their, like, existence, like, their situation more so little. And so it kinda undercuts the experience of being on this new planet because you're not seeing the planet. You're just seeing, like, alright. I'm in a fucking I'm gonna wear I'm in a hangar.

Like, who cares? Well, Nick, this is the thing for me is that if I'm just gonna be in a hangar just in this station for the most part, it's it's one of those things where it's like it just looks a little bit too much like TV sets to me for the most part when I'm on these different ships or in these stations. And that's the other thing that Galaxy Quest does so well. And I gotta stop comparing things to other things we've done. But it's like you do take a trip to another planet.

Yeah. You go inside. Yeah. And you do some things. And that's the thing I would have loved from this movie and or seeing like some sets that didn't quite look like TV.

The costumes and the makeup are so damn fantastic. Costumes are good, although I refute the color beige as the color they The starfighter. I get a point. It just is the one of the worst colors somebody can wear, to be honest. Like, it's not a good color as anybody.

I just don't understand that. And and it's kinda, like, lumpy. I don't know. It doesn't you know, like, obviously, I keep comparing to the, like, X Wing Pilots. Mhmm.

And there's just, like, there's a level of that that just feels like the the orange and the and the blue on the helmet. There's just something that looks cool. Mhmm. And there's this just doesn't it doesn't pull me into wanna feel, like, be part of it. And Alex, as we're talking about it, doesn't wanna be part of it.

Right. He's getting, like, handed all this stuff and, like, told that he is a he is a, a rookie or is a what do they call him? Recruit. They finally get him a translator. Right?

So he can hear everybody. That's the inside of a digital watch. Yeah. Totally. Yeah.

It's the inside of a casting. Use what you can. Right? Timex or whatever. Yeah.

It works it works for me. I I get the conceit. I like it. Dude, it that's all it takes with stuff like that. That's that's one thing this movie can do really beautifully is just deliver a little piece of exposition, and you're like, okay.

Yeah. But he we see all these other aliens who are also recruits, and then Alex witnesses the big bad of this world, which is the son of the leader. He's Zorr, and he is the yeah. He's their leader's son. Yeah.

And he is, like, splintered off and joined their, like, enemy. He's Zor, he's a Rylin Uh-huh. And he has joined the Codan Armada. And he's, like, leading them with this special fucking weird ass scepter. Thing that is never I actually like that guy, the actor.

He does an okay job. I think he does I think he does a good job with what he's asked to do. It's great. We get him and Dano Herlihy, like, back to back. Like, we get Greg and Zurb back to back.

Like, our here's our our guy that's gonna be our our guide on the hero's journey on his side, and then, like, the opposing is like a rock man, kind of? Dude, I He's like a turtle guy. Turtle rock? I don't I can't I can't I don't know. By the way, as he goes through photos of him and his wife and stuff at a point in the movie, Dan O'Hurley is actually playing all of them.

Doesn't he say he has, like, 20,000 offspring? 6000, griglings. It's crazy because that, like, exists now. Like, you can actually get a frame that does that. Right.

Yeah. It's our phones. My grandma has it. But watching this movie with the commentary on the director and the effects producer both just start giggling when they're showing his family. It's so hilarious.

Pictures. Are fucking hell the selfie funny. The upshot story where you can't see all of their faces are partially cut off. I saw that. Yes.

The gag. I I there's a part of me that kind of likes, but another part of me that doesn't like. How real is it to y'all that that Alex is like, no. I'm fucking out of here. I don't wanna I don't wanna do this.

I think here's the thing. He just witnessed this Galaxy Quest. Right? When when, captain or, Peter what's his name? Quill.

No. Peter Nesmith? Nesmith? Yeah. Captain Nesmith.

When he when he finally realizes that this is real Yeah. Right? When he sees the the villain has finally, it all comes to it the head. So Alex witnesses the torturing and murder, the fucking Raiders of the Lost Ark face melting Oh, dude. So bad.

Of their, like, spy. And it if that's as, like, horrifying as it was in a PG movie, I would be like, nope. I'm out. Yeah. What the fuck is this?

I don't want any part of that shit. So I get it. Like, there's No. You're right. You're right.

I think when he first gets there, he's like, I don't wanna be here. I would want to be there. Sure. And then I would see that guy getting his head belted, and I'd be like, maybe I should go. But there's like a level of I just play video games, man.

There's nothing that resonates from the performance that tells me, like, fuck no. Fuck no. Like, there's no level of panic. Yeah. Like and that's part of the I don't know.

It it just feels like for him, and I like that Nick Castle's like, he's like, I'll generate straw. He sees like this every man thing that he really liked in Lance Guest and, Halloween too. And he's a fine actor. There's it's just one of those things where it's like, I don't understand why there's not some level of panic like there was in some of these other films we've talked about. Like, where the hero is just like, fuck this because that makes me feel like the stakes are much higher.

Yeah. I mean, I think I agree. I think there's it's a kid's movie to a degree, and I think that You gotta forgive a lot. And I think that if he had come in with more passion to be like, this is fucking cool. I'm getting called to space.

This is the adventure I've always wanted and then made the switch, that would have made more sense to me. That too. That too. That too. I'm at.

You nailed it. You nailed it. Well, I stole that from Chris. I by the way, like, the the You're welcome. Yeah.

Well done. The the Armada. What's the Armada called? The Conan Armada. The Conan Armada shows up, and they have to activate the automatic repulsor gun.

And that's the moment where I go, wait. Like, where it's, like, automatic why do you have to auto activate the you're overriding this at, like, in the wrong places. Mhmm. Well, this is one of those things with the older the sci fi gets, the lazier they can be with these terms. And it's like, if you go back to the fifties, Dune, he called the spice melange.

That just means, like, mix. Right? It just means like a mixture. Like, it doesn't it's this word that became, at least in my life, like, a totally normal word that's like, oh, but, like, calling the guy Centauri just because, you know, like, maybe astronomy wasn't quite as popular in 1983 when they were writing this. And like, well, what's this alien's name gonna be?

I will call him Centaur. I heard about this star called Alpha Centauri. I'll call him Centauri. And so the automatic who cares what the thing is called? Right?

It's a MacGuffin they're gonna use once. Yeah. Don't override it. Yeah. It's they kinda underwrote it, I feel like.

The automated what is it called? Automatic defense. What I I don't remember where it's like it just seems like it should just be automatic. It seems like there's like a front the frontier. They call it the frontier, which is like a boundary of defense.

It's a the way that they described it, it's there's all those big green modules. Yeah. And those form a force wall. Okay. So like Guardians of the Galaxy?

Yeah. And so when we see the mothership with its, like, red laser spinning beam, it's cutting a hole in the force wall. Gotcha. And that hole is shown to be big enough to send a couple ships through at one point, and then it's bigger, and they could all get through later on. But that is something that I never got.

Yeah. No. I It's not explained that well. No. I forgot so much of the story line of the baddies.

I guess I was just, like, similar to what Chris said. It was just I was just on the journey with Alex. Like, this was my Luke Skywalker direct kinda thing. But they, you know, they very early in the second act, like, they take out the Rylan base. They, like, waste everybody.

When we meet Zur who in that world where he is definitely the outsider, he's been he is he's just given this control, this armada, because they want him to take because they know he has inside information because he's the son of He's the tool. And He's like Loki. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. 100%. No. Loki, and he's got the Chitauri, and he's gonna come take everything over and rule it the way that he wants. But he's also, you know, not that bright.

And, ultimately, Thanos is gonna fuck him up anyway. Right. Because Yeah. Yeah. That's a great that's a great comp.

So Alex gets back to Earth because Centauri has to take him back, and he's like, you fucking coward shithead, whatever. Like, dumps him back. I mean, he's him with beta. Yeah. He's like, look.

Also also I'm sorry. Interject real quick. 2 Christmas references from, Centauri. Wait. Real?

On the way in the car on the way off planet, on the way off of Earth, he's like, hey, where are you taking me? And he's like, come on. Don't you like surprises? Are you the kind of kid who runs downstairs and peeks at its presents on Christmas morning? God.

Yeah. This fucking box was put on Earth as a mistake, we find out. Right. You're not even supposed to be we find out Earth's not even supposed to be welcomed in yet to the league. Yeah.

Premature premature popped it. So, like, if you it seems like Earth is largely ignored, to steal the phrase mostly harmless, but this guy is, like, obsessed with fucking Christmas because he has another Christmas reference but he's trying to convince Alex to stay. And he's, like, made some bet with 1 of the Rylands. And he's like, I'm keeping my money. It's like Christmas came earlier.

Like, why the fuck does this fucking alien who polishes his fake eyeballs know so much about Christmas? Why? What day is today? What day? Today, sir.

It's Christmas day. That's right. I'm Maurice Micklewhite and I love Christmas. Dude, that's so wild. I did not think about that at all.

That's like to me, that's overriding. Like, stop you don't or under I don't know if it's over or under, but it's like one of the things that character take. I don't know. I don't I like that performance. I don't give shit, but it's funny.

Maybe he's realized, oh, my machine is pinging me from this weird planet. I'll read up on it on my way. Maybe. And I'll make some because the way that they describe him, he's a flimflam man. Yeah.

Like, Centauri is in this for money. He's in this personal game. He's a con man? Yeah. He's a snake oil salesman?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so he'd, like, made a bet about whether or not this kid was gonna work out or something. That's so funny. Yeah.

And so he's always, like, using all these smooth terms and saying things to his marks. Did you call him a flimflam man? They call him a flimflam man. They do. Which is a term that I also use.

Noodle salad. So he is like you know, he studies his marks, and he uses language that he knows he's gonna coax them into doing what he wants them to do. Yeah. He's a good manipulator. He really is.

Except he can't get Alex, and then he drops Alex off. With the beta unit. And what the second the second that Alex meet sees his girlfriend again, she's like, get the fuck away from me, you weirdo. Oh, so that's funny. Yeah.

That's funny. Last time I saw that I wanted to taste your ear wax? Yeah. Like, she's freaked out, and then he comes in and meets the beta unit in his bed. Yeah.

Right? And Lewis sees them both, and he's like, what's going on? I told you go back to bed, Lewis. Yeah. No.

That's good stuff. It's a good I can understand why they were like, oh, we need more of this. Because it does make the movie better. It generally, like I agree. That there's only he was only in trying to think.

There's only a couple of scenes that they shot with him as the beta unit. Most of it has been added to the end of principal photography. That's interesting. I will say They added seamlessly. I mean, as well while they were entertaining, like a lot of those bits, I did recognize in the moment while watching it.

I wasn't 100% sure what it added to the story. What what how it progressed to the story, I guess. Not not that I say I wasn't entertained by it. I think I think it's very silly and funny and a great bit. I think it's a really legitimate question, like, of a viewer.

Like, if he's transported away, my first question is they've established this movie with him wanting to go to college and his girlfriend and granny and his mom and his brother, is what the fuck is happening while he's gone. And I I actually wanna know how that beta unit's like interacting with people and, like, how this thing is, like, maybe fucking his life up or advancing his life. I I actually have like a some a little bit of interest in in that storyline. I think another thing that it adds to it is that we get to we have a good reason to go back and see what his girlfriend and his brother Mhmm. Like, what the this trailer park is all his family.

And so we get to go back and visit that in a way that provides us with a couple of laughs, in a way that breaks up the monotony of a fucking goddamn bave spaceship inside a melted ice cream asteroid. Right? Sure. Yeah. And so and then we also have the thing of, like, there's assassins coming.

So, like, his family's in danger. Okay. So that that that the assassin comes, takes a shot at Alex. You were wrong. You were wrong.

But no. But I have another point, though, because Okay. I but yeah. I okay. So, like, he decides after the assassin comes and, Centauri tells him, like, oh, they're gonna keep coming or whatever, and you need to, like That laser fight is pretty good.

Like, I think the laser fights are alright. And so he goes back. But here's my thing. Like And Centauri's been shot. And he want he was like, yeah.

And, sorry, he's been shot. But but he's been shot on the left side lower torso where everyone gets shot in movies, and you're like, I'll be okay. And you're like, will you? I don't think he will. I think you're gonna die.

Alright, Clark Gregg. It happens to everybody. They're always like, they don't they don't reveal it. And then when they reveal it, they're like, oh my god. How long is it between that?

Like, hours. Yeah. He's he's yeah. This is a Colson situation. They're gonna die.

Yeah. But he leaves a beta there because they say, like, oh, like, we can leave him here. They don't know that you they think you're still here on the planet. They'll keep coming for him. When they gave him the communicator, the Chris like, they're pretty confident he's gonna come back.

Right. But by leaving the beta unit, does that not put his entire family continuously in danger? Because the family finds out that he's a robot at that point. Right? Or do they not Not they may have found out yet.

But the assassins are gonna keep coming for him. I also think they shouldn't care if his family knows that there's a robot. That's why I like, like, the way they they story and write their way out of that. Because, like, it's really fun, like, the Lewis, like, Lewis go back to bed shit. Like, when Alex is talking to his beta unit, and the effect of his head Yeah.

Of Alex's head through the desk telling Lewis to go back to bed is is solid. We got the we got the nose pitch, and it turns and shakes his head before. Yeah. It's funny. It's just a little comedy.

The guy the the body double that they had as the body in that scene just has his head craned all the way down. Oh, yeah. And they put blinking lights across the back of his neck. So it looks like the head's been taking off taken off. It works.

And you can see, like, internal workings. That scene is probably my favorite scene in the entire It's really good. Mine too, actually. Practically is amazing. It really works.

It's like a strong evolution from the alien, Ian Holm taking, like, the head. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I agree.

It's like it's like an uptick. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what if this was cute and not covered in gross milk? Man milk.

This episode's brought to you by betas, which Ian Holm Ash is a beta. Yeah. This guy's a beta. Don't be a beta. Don't be a beta.

But there's a new gun star. The new star fighter, the new ship. There's one left. First all of the star fighters have been fucking shit. They're all dead.

Yep. And this is the moment like, this is where I'm really sold on Greg because I like Greg. I love the photo sharing. I love that he's like so jolly and whatever. But where he says, death is a primitive concept.

And like the whole, like, no, dude, we're fucking doing this. Like and, Alex calls him like a gung ho crazy. Like, you're just like way too eager about this whole thing. And it's like, no, I I actually really like this guy taking me on this adventure. Also says, like, his whole family has been put in slavery.

Mhmm. 6 his wife and 6,000 kids. Like, he's fighting for something. Yes. Had to totally twist his face underneath there.

Daniel Herlihy, like, had to over exaggerate everything just to get that emotion that we get through that face. Like What a performance. Yeah. He It looks uncomfortable. Apparently, the the director sounds like the actor did this for the director out of makeup.

Was like, by the way, this is what I'm doing. And he was like, it's insane. Like, the contortions he had to put his face I'm sure. Yeah. Just to get that little bit through.

Is it kinda look like Paul, what he's doing right now? Through this whole episode? The there are, like, 3 performances in the eighties with guys in really, really heavy makeup. This one, Louis Gossett Junior in Enemy Mine, RIP. RIP.

Oh. And fucking Frank Langella in Masters of the Universe. Those are three performances in the eighties where cats are in really heavy makeup that seem to have really resonated with me even as I've gotten older. That Franklin Jello Skeletor performance is fucking legendary. His his closing monologue is so good.

Scorched earth. He Wow. Destroys everybody. Wow. But this is also like the beta stuff.

I think this was an added scene too, the antenna with the restaurant owner. Oh. Where he's like trying to pull it up to him and the girlfriend distracts him. And it's like, there's some good little comedic, like, where it's like, no. This kid is relied on here to help everybody.

Mhmm. And, like, the challenge that is for that robot, how weird and uncomfortable it is. And especially hanging out with teenagers. Yeah. He looks very stiff and uncomfortable.

But Alex is going to save the universe. Yeah. Despite evil spies and the whole deal he's doing the thing. Forget. The beta gets some of Alex's heroism sacrificing itself Oh, true.

To stop that second assassin. Yeah. I love the performance as the beta. I think the perform like, the dual performance between Alex and the beta. I love the performance as the beta.

I think it's great. Yeah. Alex reaches the frontiers. He's in space. He and Gregor in the new gun star, and they've reached the frontier.

And now they have a live target. It's a what ship is this? This is the mother ship. Okay. This is the main ship.

And, basically, the main ship has a, like, a broadcast turret on the bottom of it that allows all of the fighter ships to act as one. Because these are all those guys in red with their they shoot one of their masks off at one point, one of the helmets of those, like, red pilots. Uh-huh. And it's just all wet and gross. Like, I was like, oh, it's a hard man.

Yeah. You know? Like, his eyes are all his eyes are all bugging out. There's, like, goop dripping down his face. I'm like, good god.

That was gnarly. Like, kazooze. Was that What do you want me to do? You uncle beer in Van Herken and oh, no. Sorry.

Was it awesome bowling? That's me. I'm talking to you now. That's what Austin Butler sounds. Wait a minute.

Did we watch Elvis? What's going on? I can't break out of the accent. No. Oh, no.

It's coming back. But like Oh, God. God save us if Austin Butler ever does an Irish thing. He's gonna speak in Irish for like 3 years after that movie. Yeah.

The the beta doing the thing with like the the stealing the truck and like just revealing to the girlfriend like look, I'm a fucking robot. I'm here to help your boyfriend. Yeah. I love that piece of writing where it's like, why who cares? This is the point where it's gonna get to Don't worry, you're talking to my ear.

That's how I unscrew my This is the point where we're gonna get cut in my ear. That's how I unscrewed my head. I like that he's listening to the other guy talk to his girlfriend. Oh, he's fucking up. And then just like The other girls.

Agitating it. And then he goes like, those other girls meant nothing. And I was like, oh, no, buddy. Yeah. You pick it you picked some good stuff and some bad stuff there.

I thought you eavesdrop. Remind Juliet by Venus. Yeah. He just Those other girls meant nothing. She's like, what the fuck?

It's fun that that the beta kinda fucked shit up for him. That if you're gonna add additional scenes, I think they picked the right shit to do. Sure. Yeah. It it works for me.

And fucking up his life has to be part of the storyline. That thing not knowing his daily life. It's gotta be. Everybody else catching on to Yeah. Especially his girlfriend.

Like what the Well, and him just like admitting it. Yeah. And, like, you were saying, Chris, like this is this the sacrifice moment where he crashes into the they steal the truck and he crashes into the transmitter while Alex is in, like, the hidey hole in the melted ice cream. Right. He he prevents the he prevents the assassin from telling the Armada that they have a starfighter, which then in space this is another good point for why he's down on Earth.

Because then in space, he's able to go hide in the asteroid. They think know he's existed. Yeah. They think they've blown up a starfighter, and they're all gone now. They're like, oh, there was one more.

We destroyed it. Whatever. And then by the beta sacrificing itself, that secret is kept from the Armada. They're able to hide out in the asteroid and then come out and blow the turret, which enables them to defeat the Armada. Well, I'd like this is when it starts to look like the OG, like, Microsoft flight simulator or m Abrams m one tank simulator.

You're saying it was, like, for defense systems where and we were talking about going hard in the paint. It goes really hard on the CG here. Oh, yeah. Really hard on all that. This was the money side.

To to to Oh, let me check. You know, to its credit and to its demise or whatever, it took a risk. I appreciate the swing to a degree. I there's a part of me that is like, okay, this arcade cabinet that he's using is designed to look and feel as much like that universe that they're in as possible. Okay.

I guess okay. But I The I I can get there's a part of me that wants to give that conceit a little. I I do think though, like, it's interesting. I think we've talked about it a little bit on this show where it's like, you know, there was that time frame where CG started to really be so popular in film, and it started to take over practical effects. And especially like late nineties, early 2000, where things really don't age well in terms of CG.

I said it earlier in this episode. I'm not sure what it is about seeing craftsmanship, like practically made Mhmm. Things that make us forgive. Because at least for me, I don't have the same level of forgiveness with bad CG. We said it same with mystery men.

Right? Where we're like, this looks bad. I don't like looking at it. Yeah. It's a hard it's a hard thing to do, and I I I don't I as a human, I don't understand why we make that This episode is brought to us by betas.

Well, I am I am a beta. You fucking lied to me. Fuck. Did you fucking lie to me? But you know what I mean?

Like, it's interesting that we've all collectively decided to and it's hard because, like, you can look at bad practical effects and they do not affect me in the same way that bad CG does. I don't disagree with you. There is the thing that I think I forgive this movie for is I see this, like, 3 pronged trident that has nothing to do with Aquaman or the lost empire. What do you mean at all? 3?

Yeah. Sorry, Chris. So it's Tron and then this and then the abyss. Those 3 movies in the eighties are what progress computer generated imagery to get us to the point of Jurassic Park, and then it goes downhill for a really long time, in my opinion. Sure.

I think Jurassic Park is the is before the abyss. Jurassic Park is 93. Abyss is 89. No. It can't be.

Is it really? Abyss is earlier. Is that Because t 2 is after the abyss. T two's 91. Because I watched that documentary on Disney plus light and magic.

Have you seen that? Yeah. I haven't. They basically talk about Lucas getting everybody together to make Star Wars, and then everybody splits off and goes and does whatever, and nobody's happy. And then he gets them all back together to do Empire.

And then he keeps them together as this company, and then starts to enable the company to stay together, starts loaning them out to other people, Toby Hooper and Poltergeist. And I thought Hell, yeah, Poltergeist. That technology was developed. There's a whole part about Jurassic Park and, like, Phil Tippett, the animator, who had been working on animating physically all the dinosaurs, and these 2 guys kinda went rogue and built this stuff in the computer. And then when they showed it to Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, they were like, oh, this is what it has to be.

And Tippett stayed on to, like, consult and, like, help them with movement and stuff like that, but it kind of killed his career and launched this, like, CGI thing. And I always thought the abyss came from that crew as well. I I guess I am wrong. No. No.

A bit I felt I could admit. Okay? Dude, you're you're a bigger man than I am. But, no, like, the James Cameron, the 89, like, abyss, like, water computer generated imagery, and then that advances to Terminator 2 to liquid metal computer. And then to me, in terms of the nineties, like, the Apex is is at times, anyway, Jurassic Park.

But I think the thing that Jurassic Park does so well is the balance between practical as well as understanding, like, oh, and this is also. Yeah. This is what it's gonna look like. I'm gonna shoot it dark and it's light it at a different angle. Give it, like, atmosphere.

Very dull. And, like, then suddenly we're, like, okay. Well, and, like, that's the thing with The Last Starfighter is, like, the imagery we're looking at is, like, not lit at all. I mean, it's hard lit because it's in space. Right?

Like, that it's it's it's a really it's especially if, like you said, they're really trying to separate from the Star Wars. Mhmm. Going away from the miniatures makes sense, especially when this technology is, like, right on the the tip of the That's, like, that's the wrong swing. Like, it's a strike. Yeah.

Like, yeah. You won't know until you swing. You gotta do it. And it's like, I give it more credit, I guess, than I want to be like, this hasn't aged well. Partly because I really do feel like this is kind of a building block for CGI whether or not that's to our advantage or to our detriment as an audience, like, depending on what we're watching.

But this is definitely one of those things that, like, had like, we needed this thing to take this swing. Well, the final fight happens. He takes out the emerald. Die. He saves the universe So good.

And then comes back home. And Centauri's back. He never died. He comes back home, and, man, he, in the words of the director, he introduces the French kid from college to his family. And everybody They're meeting an alien for the first time.

What the hell is this guy all about? And granny has her shot. Greg. Greg shows up and they're all, like, literally ready to fucking murder him. He really is for sure.

And he's just, like, shaking everybody's hand. He's the most pleasant. Yep. He's wonderful. And he speaks English?

He's got that laugh, the raspy laugh. Actor's edition. Actor's choice. Question mark. He speaks English?

That's I wondered if somebody had a translator on if it was him or what. How does that That he must have a translator on. Is that bleed over to I thought they said that Anyway Do you have to be wearing it? Whatever. I don't wanna get into I'm with It's like Doctor Who.

Whatever. I'm You know what? Actually, anytime someone's speaking English in this movie, it's Portuguese. I'm I'm with Katie Hampton. We watched a week called 2nd hand lines.

And she's like, we're going way too far with the justification of everything as an audience. Fucking chill out. And that was the moment where I was thinking what you were thinking, Ben, and then her words resonated to me where it was just like, this is a nice moment. Just fucking let it happen. I'm just fucking with you.

I didn't care about that. But it, I get that you didn't, but it hit my brain. Sure. Well, that's because you're a lizard. True.

Just like the iguana And he that I played in He bad lieutenant, port of call New Orleans where I rub my dick all over the Alex makes a claim to Megs, like, okay. I'm gonna go do this thing. Are you with me? And she's like, no. But then she's like, yeah.

I love it. Wait a minute. Come 2 feet further away from everybody with me. Yeah. Now are you with me?

And she's like, oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. I like that her grandma, though, is like, you should go. Yeah.

I got the shotgun. I'm granny. I got the shotgun. Granny's like Granny's like that dick is worth it. The the last Alright.

Yeah. That's the last thing for me with, like, my screenplay where it's like I wrote, you know, a diner with, like, in their grandma's name that just wanna read your screen. No. I don't want you to. I need good notes from smart people.

Oh, okay. You're not invited. Okay. Good. But Oh, that's good.

I, like, I didn't realize how much this movie resonated with me, like, where I'm like, oh my god. I watched this so much when I was young Yeah. That, like, it bled through my typing on something else that and I had no clue. It it just hit me so many times. But Maggie goes with them.

They're out of here. Movie over. Movie over. Anything we missed? Yes.

And so mind rating now? Yeah. We've just talked about this ad nauseam. Are you still 3a half, or have you moved somewhere? I think I stay at a 3a half.

I think I just stay right there. I still there's still things that make me love it, and I'm like, oh, no. This is a 5. And then there's stuff that I'm just like like, we just talked about that last scene. It was like, you don't wanna come?

Step over here. Come on. Like, come on. You know? Yeah.

I stay I stay at 3 and a 33.5. I'm glad that I own it for when the Internet goes out. Yeah. This is what you'll watch during the apocalypse so you can feel safe. Like I said, this is the first Blu ray I bought Yeah.

Which I bought moving into a place in LA for the first time. I didn't have Internet set up yet, and I was like, oh, I'll buy this. It's a display on my face at Target. Feel safe. And I showed it to my girlfriend at the time.

I fell asleep. She loved it. It's the first time I've watched it since then. And because it's about that good. You know?

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. That's fair. Paul, go for it.

I'm gonna do a little bit of a pivot. I'm gonna go to 3 old men. Dick, you fired. You went down. But I'm gonna put the heart on it.

This is like a good bad movie. There's so much great craftsmanship in terms of co some of the costumes that aren't, I think, beige, whatever, and the makeup and stuff like that. But like the CG can be kind of rough and like I don't know. I it's I I almost hate to give movies that good, bad movie, but also understand that, like, that's a very special thing for me. So I give this 3 old men and a heart.

Okay. It's essentially the same as a 3a half. It's just a slightly different category. Yeah. Too complicated.

Whatever, Paul. Yeah. Fair. I'm gonna stick with 3 playboys. Though that is I I consider 3 to be still a good score for me.

And so, Chris, thanks for coming back. Hey. Thank you for having me back. It's always a pleasure. And I wanna if I may, I just wanna say to both of you, may the luck of the 7 pillars of Voodoo be with you at all times.

That means a lot. It means a lot. Our bookend themes are Jamie Henwood. Our what are we watching theme is Matthew Foskett. Follow me.

I make some of the themes, on Letterboxd or Instagram run BMC. Letterboxd at Paul acts badly. Chris, thank you so much for coming back and joining us again. Thank you, boys. It's good to be here.

He's 2 I I'm gonna say you're 2 for 2. Well done. I almost I almost switched it to enemy mind. And then No shit. But just because Luke Gossett.

And then when you sent me that email of all the notes that you put down, I was like, oh, then I didn't do that last second. I again, I think you're 2 for 2. Well done. Well Keep swinging for the fences. You're doing well.

Alright, everybody. We're out.

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