Family Roles

Episode 1 is a an introduction to the podcast.  Opening up exploring the different roles in the family, from Grandparents to Cousins.

We will identify the potential purpose and  dynamics of each person's role develops a family, which makes it unique.

During this time of year, we interact with family more than normal and it's the perfect time to embrace your role.

Enjoy!

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back, my people, to another dose of Nikki. I am so happy and pleased that you chose to join me for another episode. As you all know, I am a new podcaster, so having anyone listen to me is like super exciting for me. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining. So today's topic is going to be about family, and I think it's important for us to talk about that considering the season. It's the season to spend time with family, to be around family. It's more common, I guess, at least here in America, right? So what about family comes to mind when that word is used? And I want to make it clear that this particular topic is going to be about family roles. So one of the things that roles, yeah, roles, I'm saying that kind of roles, family roles, and the dynamics of those roles. So we're gonna go through each one of the titles in the family, starting with grandparents down to the cousins. So let's get started. Family as you know it, the grandparents, straight up gangster, they are the people that are the matriarch or the patriarch of the family, right? And they are so critical, they get a automatic pass to say and do things that under normal circumstances or the average individual do not get that passed. But because of their patience and their position and role in the family, they get a pass. You understand what I'm coming from? They get a pass. They are the most wise, they have the most experience, so you give them that pass when they say and do things that sometimes kind of like uh just kind of like get you. But you really can't say much because of the fact that you know nine times out of ten what they're telling you is dead on. Dead on. And that is something that you have to respect. So whether it comes off a little bit unorthodox, I should say, it's still wisdom at its finest, and they deserve it. So they get a pass. Parents. That's the next one. Most toughest role, toughest role, I think, to have. Because a parent is always a parent, no matter what, right? They take the good with the bad, they offer unconditional love, whether it is accepted or not, they remain responsible and must be the rock to endure. Whether it is something that the children, you know, say, their actions, it's the parents' role to be there and to just endure it. So they can kind of be figured, you know, kind of get kicked around a little bit, right? And it is expected to bounce back because they're your parent. Most kids at some point have tantrums, whether those tantrums are when they are toddlers and sometimes even as adults, young adults, teenagers, whoo, that's just the way it is. So think about that. Now, as I go through the different roles of your family, I want you to think you might be one of those people, or you may represent all the roles that I under that I go through. So we already passed one that is grandparents. We've done with that one. Now we moved on to the parents, get kicked around, hmm, take the bad with good, hmm. And they are the ones that at some point might become grandparents, right? Gotta earn that, gotta earn it. So, parents, there's no manual to being a parent, you just have to kind of wing it, okay? So respect is on the way when you become a grandparent nine times out of ten. You become that hero when you become that grandparent. But as a parent, you just kind of like just dugging it out. All right? Alright, so now let's move on to the aunt and uncle role. Now that role is super cool, and you know it. If you are an aunt or an uncle, you are the coolest in all of the positions of the family.

unknown 5:14

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

You know it. You do no wrong, you could do things that other people can't do. You get away with it, you know it. You give your niece and nephew things that the parents clearly told you not to, but you listen, you say, mm-hmm, and you go on and do the aunt and uncle thing. And nine times out of ten, that niece or nephew is looking at you like you are super cool, you dance well, you talk well, you are just you dress well. I mean, just the cool aunt playing, and uncle just playing and stuff with you, just having fun and games, smell good, look good, act well. You can hide in that role, even if you're not the cool parent, cool grandparent, but you definitely become the cool aunt and uncle or uncle. Think about it. The role is crucial to the parent because they sometimes bring you back down, because remember, you're there's no manual with the parenting, right? So you need a balance, and that balance sometimes comes from that aunt and uncle to kind of reel you back into having better control, and also it helps with the children because the children have someone to turn to as a confidant, right? The things that they would not necessarily discuss with their parents, they definitely might discuss with the aunt and uncle. And who better to have a family member talk to your children and help mold them in the community? We sometimes forget those things and sometimes come off a little aggressive too. You're not doing it my way. But as a parent, you should be open to accepting others' guidance to help mold your children. And who better to do it than your brother or sister, right? I mean, sometimes brothers and sisters don't necessarily do the right thing that you might think isn't right or appropriate, but it's their way. They love your niece, they love your children as their niece and nephew, so they wouldn't want to lead them or straight up lead them astray. So give them that opportunity. It doesn't always have to be your way. As the parent, remember there's no manual. Now, let's move on. Who's next in line? Think about it, people. It is the siblings. Oh yeah. They represent love hate. Oh yeah. I know. Ponder on it, think about it. The siblings represent love hate. You love them oh unconditionally, don't you? You love them. You do. It's a crazy kind of love, but that line is real thin at times when it becomes close to hate. Oh yeah. One minute you feel like you can rip their heads right off, right into your hands, because they just know what buttons to push. And then you would never let the next person come between the two of you. You will be like, wait a minute, you can go to a friend and be complaining about your brother or sister, and you're going in about that situation, whatever it is. And I mean you are going in and let that friend say something negative about your brother or sister. It changes, it's like a record player. What? I didn't ask you that. I didn't ask you to chime in. I just want you to listen. Okay? So don't ever cross that line when a brother or sister is talking about a brother sibling because they can hate them, but you better not say a thing. Just listen. That's just the way it is, and you know it. Think about it now. Think about it. It is one of the most interesting relationships that kind of is unexplainable. You can't really understand a sibling's relationship truly, and maybe it's because that that deep-rooted love-hate comes from, or I mean, listen, I'm not saying that there's always bad situations, but there are times when, you know, siblings can be a little too much. They love you so much till they get on your nerve, and that's the piece that you know is challenging, but it's hard to explain. And it's an unspoken rule with them to love each other. They do unconditionally. I say it all the time. It's a far form of fondness that they have for each other, and then the the there's this love that's just unexplainable. Their disagreements are passionate, and and it may all stem from coming from the same place of birth. It doesn't matter if you have different mother or father, same mother or father, somewhere along the line, you were made and housed in the same exact place where you were born and developed. You know what I'm saying? Came from the same place. So maybe that, with all those little things running around, you've survived to become who you are, human, and become that sibling. So there's a common denominator. Can't make quite sense out of it, just know that it is. You understand what I'm saying? So, siblings, I label them as the love-hate relationship. And last but definitely not least, that is cousins. Oh boy. Now they tend to be the lowest on the totem pole. Hear me out. Think about it. Grandparents at the top, parents come next, sib um, aunt and uncle, and then siblings, right? And then there's your cousins. Now, cousins are the most versatile, most universal, is what I call them. They can be your hangout buddies. You know what I mean? And they can be, and they have multiple tears. They're the only family role that have tears. What I mean by tears is first cousin, second cousin, third cousin, right? And so it can go on, whatever, you know, that's my cousin, that's my cousin, my cousin. You don't even know how they even related to you, but they're classified as your cousin, right? They can be as, and and I'm I'm telling you, here's the universal piece of the puzzle. They can be as close to you as your sibling, and you call them your brother or sister, right? And then they can be as far of a distant cousin to you as just that, a distant cousin, or they can be as older than you that you don't even feel comfortable calling them that role of cousin that you call them aunt and uncle. You understand what I'm saying? I mean, the relationship is so versatile, it's one of the most amazing relationships that you have, and very interesting. Now, why is that? You understand? I I I don't know. Some of them, you you know, I I I don't know, but cousin. Now, they don't really hold in the description or the definition of a cousin, they don't hold the same kind of um, for lack of a better word, respect as a mother, a parent, or a sibling. They don't have that level of power. But I will tell you a story about a family member of mine who gave me that level of respect. Now it was two situations that occurred. One of my family members, and both of them I am their cousin, and one of the family members didn't even want to say cousin because they put me in a different bracket, because they felt that the cousin role wasn't strong or as important as like a niece or nephew or you know, auntie. They wanted it to be known, so I'm at an event and we're talking, and and and and here somebody comes into the into the um event, and my cousin goes to introduce me, and she goes around the entire situation. She goes, This is my grandmother's niece. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I I said the same thing. I was like, What? That's a lot of thinking. What could you just simply say, cousin, right? But she said something so pivotal. She said, No, I I don't see you as just my cousin. I see you because I'm older than her, by a couple of years, some years actually, probably over 10 years. And she said, I don't see you like that. So it she didn't want to classify me in the role of that cousin in her mind. And in the end, it was such a welcoming and warm and respected way of seeing me and telling me that she loves me differently from her concept of a cousin. So, with that, I'm going to stop right there and leave you with thought. Until next time on a dose of Nikki.